10 surprising things about bisexuality | from a bisexual man

Bisexuality is quite a misunderstood orientation. That’s why I’m running down 10 things you might not know about bisexuality to raise awareness.
I hope you enjoy learning about bisexuality. Please share this video if you find it interesting and subscribe to learn more about bisexuality and other orientations.
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[@notdefining]

To book a private 1:1 coaching session with Mark, visit us at www.notdefining.com/coaching-info. To join our monthly group sessions and write in your questions to Mark, visit: patreon.com/notdefining or click the JOIN button. I’m so excited to get to know you…

[@bobby1970]

I think there are many more of us male bisexuals in society than most people realize. We need to be more accepted by the rest of society.

[@notdefining]

100% true.

[@TheFelcardon]

Yes i agree with you, i think bisexual men are better lovers, but is hard to find them

[@notdefining]

@@TheFelcardon Indeed. But we're HERE! ahah

[@TheFelcardon]

@@notdefining but You are married ajajajs

[@bobby1970]

@@jhb61249 Yep.

[@jdjordan4425]

Us gays don't help like we should. I have heard friends of mine respond "Bi Now Gay Later" when being told that someone is Bi. Im gay, I have no sexual interest in the women at all. However, I have zero doubt bisexuality very common. I have been with guys that primarily date women and I don't automatically think they are simply in the closet (tho, one or two might have been). I say this because I think more gay men need to be better allies to bi men and women.

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks for the support.

[@augamemnon]

All this just comes down to the chemistry and companionship between two humans, that’s all it is.

[@macmcleod1188]

I'm quite old. Bisexual my entire life. I can see my death of old age happening before that changes.

[@jusadude7162]

I think most all have the CAPACITY for bisexuality but our preference is hardcoded via environment and genetics early on.

[@AngerThePeople]

Dear Bi Folk, You are valid. You are enough. You deserve to be loved and accepted for who you are. Stay awesome! Xoxo, Caleb

[@Lucy-cz2dj]

Also fun fact, bi people do not random cheat on you just because we are able to like both gender. The ones who cheat are their own personality issue, not their sexuality issue. So please stop accusing us of not being trustworthy. Thank you.

[@notdefining]

Couldn’t say it better myself. Thanks so much for this.

[@Lucy-cz2dj]

@@notdefining thank you so much

[@Alex-jd2yx]

Evolution is what is occurring, like he mentioned about the animals, knowledge, normalization of LGBT will continue to play a role on human psyche particularly the laws of attraction quite literally, bi are very complex, normally known to make statements like we're greedy with laughs etc more evolution will probably also see bi wanting best of both worlds and wanting more partners, because I sure as hell I do lol

[@Forge17]

As a gay man, I used to hear that a lot from other gay men.. instant Jackie Chan wtf meme moment. Bizarre stupidity. Shameful from people who should know better.

[@mz6367]

@@Forge17as a gay man I agrreeeeee It’s shameful !

[@hughmse]

I sincerely hope my experience helps other to be more comfortable identifying themselves as bi. When I was in my teens I was very sexually attracted to men, so I thought the honest thing to do was to come out. It went surprisingly well. In my late 20s I met the mother of my kids and I knew immediately that not only was I very attracted to her but also was developing feelings for her. After one month of dating we decided to make it official. My friends and family GAVE ME HELL. I felt as if I were not allowed to be with a woman because I had come out (this was said to me constantly). I had to engage in endless explaining and some people though it was just bullocks. So my "coming out" as bi was very turbulent and traumatic. The first question I'd be asked is "Does she know you're *gay* ?" And for the record, she did know: our first conversation had been about awful ex boyfriends. I think that all through the 13 years we were together I was forced to explain something because most though that it was... odd? Now I'm much older 🤫, and still have to defend myself at times when I tell new gay AND straight friends that I'm bi. The gay ones say "You're a gay man who fell in love with a woman." I would accept that statement if I hadn't been in relationships or in sexual encounters with other women. It's just... bloody hard to break the box where others want to keep you because it makes THEM comfortable. I do not explain anything anymore. I'm at peace with myself as a bisexual cis mam and I will not apologize for it. And I'll end up with a fact: In all periods of Ancient Greek and im some of the Roman Empire heterosexual sex was exclusively for reproduction purposes. Women were regarded as inferior to mem (I know, shocker). Men would have male lovers and there was no controversy about it. Over a thousand years after that bi people are still questioned or forced to "pick a side." GREAT VIDEO ❤!

[@heycarlosmartinez]

I’m a male who doesn’t really care for labels but will use “bi” to simplify it for others. Although I’ve mainly had relationships with men, I’ve also had relationships with women. In my case, I believe sexuality is a spectrum. Whether you’re more on one side, the other or in-between. I agree, it should be accepted more within society but many times from my experience that’s not the case.

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks so much for sharing. I couldn’t agree more.

[@Alex-jd2yx]

If the LGBTQ community keeps raving on about that love is love then they really must know that something is right, let's be a bit more careful with the word sex some of us 😄

[@Ryansmith-mj2df]

I think your views are quite valid

[@phil2u48]

I believed I was bisexual (or mentally blocked that I was homosexual) in university because I could become sexually aroused and have sex with both women and men. In my mid-twenties, I entered into an exclusive relationship with an older man and have had only same sex relations since. Bisexuality is a sliding scale of both desire and performance. It is a fascinating look into the ranges of human sexuality and sexual behaviors.

[@willhandy5345]

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re plagued by self doubt about your very orientation! I’m one of the 6% gay population, and my orientation has always been crystal clear. I’ve had serious relationships with two bi men, and though both were moving into comfort with their same-sex attractions, I never had a moment’s doubt that their bisexuality was rock solid real. I hope this confusion gradually clarifies for you. May you be happy; may you be at peace.

[@Lepewhi]

I think that the issue is that so many gay people use bi as a stepping stone. And later they admit that they are indeed gay. If people could just accept that they are gay, and let bi's be who they are, they might be taken more seriously. Also, what is the difference between bisexual and gender fluid?

[@notdefining]

It's true. I hate that so many gay people feel so terrified by homophobia that they feel they need to "soften" it somehow. It hurts everyone but I don't personally blame them. I blame homophobia. That is the enemy of us all. Bisexual is being attracted to more than one gender. Gender fluid is having a changing sense of your own gender.

[@matthowland1770]

Look, I'm bi, and Easley get aroused and make love with my wife. But I had always preferred guys from kindergarten on. I loved seeing the others in the bathroom. We had the long urinals, and we all checked each other out. In first grade, I got in a situation with some 11 to 13-year-old guys, and they let me go with them to play in woods near the creek. I didn't know it wasn't good until my mother found out and started abusing me physically and mentally for being a person that rhymes with gaggit. She called me any and everything she could think of in the way of slurs. It didn't stop anything. It wasn't like she paid any attention. It wasn't until the 6th grade my teacher was a beautiful woman, and I couldn't stop staring. I never knew she noticed till monster got home from parent-teacher conferences to make fun of me for discovering girls. You'd think as bad as she hated me being not str8, she would have baught me a toy or something, but no more torment as if being bullied at school wasn't bad enough. Mrs. Timmens told my monster that " he's an extremely intelligent boy, but he can't stop looking at me long enough to get his work done. My first crush on a guy was an actor from a detective show called Cover Up. He was a model/actor who played an ex-special force turned P.I., but the agency was covert, and they ran a modeling agency as a cover. He was hot, had the best muscles, and, best of all, he was a heroic action hero. I was gone on him, and he died in an accident with one of the prop guns. When monster told me he had died and how, I cried. I was 8ish, and I went into a blue funk because my hero/crush died. I really do get hot, I mean vibrating excitedly over Redheads, the ones with really coppery red to Auburn hair and that light creamy and freckled skin, male or female. There was a brother/sister set, not twins but almost precisely identical. He was older and had a masculine haircut so that you could see his gorgeous neck. He was also taller. His name is Tom, and his sisters had long, beautiful red hair . Her build and hairstyle were like Julia Roberts's in Mystic Pizza. I would have taken either or both and lived the rest of my life with a stupid grin and a bone. I still don't know what has become of the Duo and have looked for them on FB.. all of my experiences until my wife came along was with guys till I was 17. My best friend, whom I really wanted to be with, we met at the school bus stop when we were 10. Yes, I was probably more attached than in love, but I did, well do love him. He was a different kind of beautiful to me; I loved his beautiful sky-blue eyes, his handsome face, his hair, and his sweet, goofy giggle. Ok, enough of that, my wife will catch on. The point I was going to get to is that bi men can have a preference either way, and they can be faithful. But all you hear is stay away from bisexual men. They will cheat and always go looking for their needs from whichever they aren't with. They will always want a man if they're with a woman or a woman if they're with a man. I'm sure it happens, but that's because that person is a selfish ash hole, the same as when str8 people cheat.

[@pauljack7170]

we r all gender fluid when the opportunity moment right person occur .. many do not have experiences because they never run in the situation for

[@pauljack7170]

@@john.premose correct .. friendship love affection desire lust possession r all shades of the same feelings in different degrees and can be toward same or etero being or both at the same time

[@pauljack7170]

@@john.premose if u r gender male or female u have feelings how u r physically built is one thing .. is the hardware .. how u feel react is the soft ware sometmes u can run differents programs or applications according the moment feeling mood u got it ? we r always the same since Adam today each of us wants to give himself a label to landmark his specificity it is idiot and useless ... but is today's fashion

[@sadfaery]

On the issue of domestic violence, another reason that we are more victimized by intimate partners is this idea that society has that we are untrustworthy, or that we will cheat, so there's a lot of jealousy and assertion of power and control dynamics by abusive partners who don't trust a bi+ partner to be faithful, and a lack of trust also goes hand in hand with a lack of open, honest communication. And of course bisexuality isn't responsible for a partner not trusting you, but someone who is already less trusting of their partners will be even less trusting of a bi partner. They may also isolate a bi partner from friends of all genders because of that jealousy and lack of trust, which gives them even more power over an abused partner and makes it harder to leave the relationship.

[@notdefining]

Thank you so much for sharing this. You’re right.

[@Weebong]

I am gay but I misunderstood Bisexuals. This is an eye opener for me.

[@Swerv0.]

THAT #8 PART!! I swear one of the things about me is I’m never sure if I’m bi because my interest fluctuates soooo muchhh. One minute I’m into girls and only girls the next I’m into guys and only guys it’s weird. Fun fact though some more past people who were bi is f Scott Fitzgerald and (my fav) James dean 👀

[@blondlezar8995]

The confusion part is gold. Since I discovered that I was bi (it's quite a new thing for me, and I'm 38…) I kinda knew in my heart that I'd have to struggle with it pretty much all my life, I'm attracted to women one morning and the next one I'm attracted to men, and it goes back and forth constantly, that scared the helle out of me at first, but I've somehow learned to accept it, but it's still bery nice to hear it out loud from someone else. Thank you for that !

[@notdefining]

And thank you for sharing this comment. People will read it and feel even more seen.

[@stardewofpyrrhia4381]

“Most of us bi people, sadly, are not out.” Yeah, I wonder _why…_

[@notdefining]

I know right?

[@kenfordbody4lyfefitness]

Actually Marsha P. Johnson said herself in an interview that she didn’t arrive that night of the Stonewall Uprising “until 2 am in the morning and the place was already on fire”!

[@notdefining]

Yes true. She and other trans activists such as Silvia Rivera were instrumental in the struggle and in the community. Also Brenda Howard a cis bisexual woman organised the first ever pride march.

[@user-yv9fq5ym9w]

They wanted to use a black drag queen, they found one.

[@thomasbleming7539]

Being bisexual isn't a choice. I've accepted my bisexuality and I don't have a problem with it.

[@notdefining]

Love this. Me too.

[@BeautyMonster1000]

Great video Mark! I'm really glad you made this one! Everything you talked about here is so incredibly important for everyone to understand, bisexuals and non bisexuals alike. One big thing that I always like to make clear to others about bisexuality is that it's not transphobic and is in fact trans inclusive, as much as many people do not understand or purposely try and convince others that it's not due to them being biphobic and wanting people to dislike the bisexual community just like they do, which is incredibly unfair and wrong but it does happen. Personally, I think it's ridiculous and a really tired take on our sexuality. Bisexuality has always been trans inclusive and always will be. I myself am a proud bisexual woman who's willing to be with trans and non-binary people just as much as I'm willing to be with cis people. I know that may not be the case for all bisexuals and I'm not saying it has to be but I believe it's the majority of us and I just think that needs to constantly be made clearly, unfortunately, because there's so many biphobic people who will try to convince people that we're transphobic.

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks so much for adding this important point. I’m going to make a whole video on bi trans intersections and will discuss this point in more detail. Thanks as always for your support and for sharing these great perspectives. Lol at people who say bisexuality is transphobic. I just have to give them a weirded out look of pity really when I hear that. Uh.

[@melraggedy]

W

[@richardfirsten2364]

Thank you for this video. I found it very informative and I found you to be a very good presenter.

[@jjohnson796]

Thank you for this vid. I really needed to see this one today.

[@notdefining]

You are so welcome!

[@joshualapin7015]

I didn’t think this was going to be as helpful as it was. Thank you

[@notdefining]

I’m so glad 🩷🩷🩷

[@alexelion7084]

The thing with questioning if you’re „actually bi“ being part of the bi experience is also true for being trans and especially being nonbinary, as a bi enby (nonbinary person) I can say that from experience. It really sucks how us queer have to constantly prove ourselves against societal norms, both to ourselves and to others

[@IloveChrome846]

You have excellent information. As a gay man, I've found that many of my male friends secretly confide in me their desires. Sometimes it shocks me.

[@LLL417]

I feel like I’m bi poly. But finding that outside of my fantasies is unrealistic. I couldn’t see myself committing and having a healthy relationship with just a woman or just a man. I need both to be satisfied… I feel like the ideal relationship would be a girlfriend that enjoys sharing me with a third person guy or girl. Switching it up every now and then.

[@jordanbishopp]

It might be slightly harder but it’s still realistic & achievable!

[@u-hannbremner9455]

I can identify with you! I feel 100% the same! People should know that we do exist and perhaps make peace that we are going nowhere.

[@lynnhettrick7588]

Over the last couple of years, I've realized I'm bi. Previous to that I had started just calling myself "not straight." I had an equal number of crushes on boys and girls in elementary school, but for some reason didn't recognize my crushes on girls for what they were. I just brushed them to the side. I'm sure society pushed me to embrace my hetero side and ignore any same sex feelings.

[@malicalilith3692]

society brainwashed us as kids that being hetero is normal. We weren't used to see same sex couples on cartoons or tv in general and nobody talked about it to us so we felt different and alone. Nowdays is a bit easier, i hope, for kids to understand who they are

[@Jennifer-tt5mb]

Bi woman here. I always thought I was supposed to be an ally for the community and keep quiet about my orientation.

[@mz6367]

What an informative video that I’d recommend to everyone ! I’m gay,and can’t express how thankful I am for having bisexual friends ,you all are great and loving and kind 🤍 Best wishes 😘🥰

[@skippymaster57]

And we bisexual people, respect and appreciate your kindness.

[@FolkBoyify]

Especially from the African American community, bisexuality is somewhat still demonized. But, we still push hard!

[@renealexander2703]

Really? How is it demonized?

[@notdefining]

Yes I totally hear you on this.

[@holger_p]

It's just christianity, and the bible belt has somewhat more African Americans.

[@waywardboi]

​@@renealexander2703by using a God against it?

[@bobby1970]

I think bisexuality will be eventually accepted in society just as much as homosexuality. I hope so anyway.

[@royking7298]

I discovered I was not hetro the week Elvis died. There was never any kind of closet for me. Then about 20 years later, the moment I learned about the bell curve in statistics class I intuitively knew that it applied to sexual orientation. It seems you are expressing the same thing even if you haven't said so yet, at 3:11min into the video. Society and social norms cause the natural curve to display as bimodal, but without that influence it would be a pure simple bell curve. People, like you just said, do not really 'like' reporting to be anything that varies from the most prevelant social norm. Bummer. I fit on the scall, near the 100% homosexual, but I know I'm more like 90% homosexual. Even though I've NEVER had sex with a female. Keep up the good work. Isn't human sexuality fascinating?

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks for sharing your unique perspectives. I’m so fascinated indeed by it all. Endlessly. Thanks for being here.

[@stephanietitarenko3252]

Straight ally here. I can't even imagine being sexually attracted to other women, but I have nothing but love and respect for all orientations. Love is love and it's a crying shame that there is still so much intolerance out there. Stay strong and stay loving everyone! Little by little we can make the world a better place.

[@marybell2002]

I always saw myself as a straight ally until a bisexual coworker I had wouldn't take no for an answer and tried to destroy my career and reputation when I told him I wasn't interested. Even straight people get rejected by other straight people, but I will never understand why some members of the lgbt community insist on only pursuing cisgender, gender conforming heterosexuals who are often not comfortable or attracted to members of the lgbt community while ignoring other members of the lgbt community who show interest in them. I will still try to support the community but this experience did help me understand why the "gay panic defence" existed and how otherwise decent people can sometimes be pushed to violence.

[@0jinx]

@@marybell2002 This is such an interesting experience. And is kind of relevant to me. I'm bi, but keep falling for my straight friends. Of course I don't bother them but the occasional flirty joke does come out every now and then. My friends don't care or mind but I'm wondering why I even do it ? what is the point ? And I really hope I am not unknowingly offending anyone. In any case thank you for continuing to be an ally. This stuff is not easy and is very confusing.

[@Name-sb2in]

The second guessing one hits home pretty hard lol.I keep bouncing back and forth from straight to bi 😅

[@notdefining]

You are so valid.

[@lynnhettrick7588]

Same.

[@johncrosby3044]

I have always been 100% gay. Like many gay men I have pursued straight men as well, according to circumstance. This is not a big deal for me, I can take it or leave it. But what I never understood, and really never imagined likely, until very recent years (I am in my 60's), is some, or perhaps many, straight men have pursued me in order to get head. Naturally I have always been delighted to oblige, but I thought I was the one doing the pursuing. I have some amazing stories that woke me up to this reality, and wonder how often in the past I missed these clues. BTW, I have always been out and not shy about it, but I am "the guy next door" type average kind of guy.

[@King_Kaimera]

I like women but they stress me out, I experimented in high school and had a boyfriend, no stress at all.❤

[@Alex-jd2yx]

Women can be emotional and overwhelming with hormonal issues on top of that, I feel myself trying not to be biased (pun intended) and bat for the other side more but it's hard sometimes 😭😂 drives me up the wall 😄

[@paulm8079]

Thank you for your video, I learned a lot from what you said, and I am a gay man myself. I LOVE the idea there are more BI people out in the world. Please let me explain what I mean, If we all could realize and help people feel comfortable to be true to themselves. We would have more caring and love in this world. So Thank you again

[@captainbejo3513]

I’m a straight dude who is married to a bi woman. It’s not even a consideration that she would cheat cuz she’s bi (kind found out recently she is bi, been with her since 2000). It’s more that I feel I don’t have all the “gear” to satisfy her , completely, sexually. She told me what she likes in a woman and being a guy, I don’t have that kind of gear. It’s insecurity for sure, all on my part.

[@tommunyon2874]

It was one of my junior high teachers that said the perpetual sexual availability of humans was the entire underpinning of civilization. Our need to select labels and assign labels is an oversimplification of complex behaviors and tendencies. We tend to play certain tapes in our head that drive our narrative. A label helps us to choose which tape to play. Get rid of the labels and toss out the tapes.

[@notdefining]

Love this. So true.

[@malicalilith3692]

without labels you basically see almost the entire world being lgbtqia+ because we would be not judged anymore

[@Alex-jd2yx]

​@@malicalilith3692what do you mean?

[@franciscodecastro3175]

Why all these labels: bi, homo, straight? They don't make any sense. Let's embrace sexual diversity as a whole.

[@notdefining]

I wish we could.

[@frankpeter6851]

The people within these three categories you mentioned have very different expressions and struggles What's wrong with differentiating and articulating inherent differences? Makes very common sense to me.

[@nightwolf318]

Thank you for sharing this. I think this was informative.

[@christochristov297]

Thanks for this very informative video! In Eastern Europe actually still is very hard to be bisexual because of traditional culture and its contemporary interpretation made by many populist politicians.

[@marekpiska1035]

0:49 every time I say all people born like bisexuals but society makes people to straight, but if they're try it i think they're like it but I can think wrong about it

[@notdefining]

You’re not wrong

[@marekpiska1035]

Thanks ☺️ right now I thinking almost every day if I'm bi or pansexual🤔 be happy buddy 🎉

[@gramps2matt]

The Wikipedia article on Malcolm X cite two journalists as averring he was BI but then cites the family's denial of these allegations..."Malcolm X's family has rejected these allegations about his personal life. His daughter Ilyasah Shabazz said she would have known about these encounters before abruptly walking out on an interview on NPR." At the end of the article he is not listed as being part of any data or group averring/confirming the allegations.

[@stejan2915]

Really beautiful, handsome and nice guy. I like energy and the way how you explain and talk. Thanks for sharing your story/opinion/facts.

[@carlorizzo827]

Thanks so much, there's so few places this can be discussed. So glad you mentioned confusion is the norm. Here's my painful dilemma: Seems i'm unable to pairbond, with either gender. How can it even matter what's my orientation. Violent family, sexuality utterly vandalized. I once as a joke identified myself as schizosexual. I'm glad i'm old

[@notdefining]

I hear you. Many of us are troubled by trauma and find it hard to connect with any gender. My heart is with you.

[@carlorizzo827]

@@notdefining that's sweet, thank you. I meant to add: despite my maladaption in the romantic arena, i am blessed in friendships. Doing something right

[@boydpease4103]

In my younger days used to say this about someone Bi You could open a phone book to any page and close your eyes and point and find a date❤

[@geckoxs1071]

Love your videos. Can relate to them. Especially the confusion part. Bi is like a spectrum. It's not really 50/50, although it can be. I lean more towards guys. I find their physique so attractive and their natural, beautiful handsome face. Women are beautiful and attractive, too, but that is just not the beauty level I find in men. That is just the physical attraction. What gets me is the person you are. That is what matters. I fell in love with a girl just like that because we were friends for so long. I knew her in and out, but she never saw me as anything more than a friend. It hurts because I gave myself over to her, chasing her like a lost dog, and she took it for granted. I gave up on love and decided to focus on my studies. 25 now, and a guy that is also Bi finds me interesting, good-looking, and kind. I was hesitant. But the moment I started talking to him, I fell head over heels for him. I mean, he isn't even that good-looking, but combined with his personality...he is a handsome sweetheart. I wasn't looking for love, but there he was, breaking the wall to my heart. The only problem is that we're both closeted. So we have a secret relationship, but also a situationship and also a long-distance relationship. I don't see us having a future as he never wants to come out. So, as he is the first real person that actually likes me for who I am. It's kind of hard to let go.

[@octoberboiy]

I didn’t know Malcolm X was bi… I want to learn more about that. I’ve heard about Alexander the Great though. Great video, very educational. It’s nice to see bi content on KZbin.

[@johncrosby3044]

The Autobiography of Malcolm X, with assistance from Alex Haley, 1965, Grove Press, NY

[@komlat253]

Yea as a bi person, it feels as if the feelings flow one way or the other .but yea people find it easier to put u in one group cuz they dont trust it so i just usually dont even say .

[@giovannibaraglia]

Great video! Thank you! ❤

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks for saying. You’re so welcome.

[@PsychicDeniz]

Wonderful video, thank you 🙏🏻 ❤

[@RY-fe3rt]

The sad thing is there's a natural enlightenment that comes with being attracted to guys and girls but it's eroded by the confusion that bi stigma imposes on it.

[@danakolpin1289]

I learned a lot about bi from you. Thanks

[@drewwho4512]

I find women attractive but have trouble with intimacy with women. It never felt natural. Intimacy feels natural with a guy. I feel I'm abit of a misfit as I've tried unsuccessfully to fully fit in with the truly gay community and have never fit in 100% with those who are supposedly straight. I believe I'm a gay leaning bi guy as it makes the most sense in my case. Commitment has been hard for me as I feel I'm cheating in a way when trying to establish a long term relationship with either a male or female.

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks for sharing your experience. I totally hear what you’re saying.

[@nightwolf318]

Thank you for sharing this. This sounds like me.

[@drewwho4512]

@nightwolf318 We are who we are. Hang tough, my friend.

[@nightwolf318]

@@drewwho4512 thank you 😊

[@JemmaHawkins-bo2yr]

Someone very close to me is bi but is still firmly in the closet. He has started becoming more open with me about his sexuality which is good, but I wish I could understand him a bit better.

[@KellyOsborne222]

Urrfgh I wish I was bi. Its really interesting though when i first began my transitioning M2F and i was alot more obvious i use to have so many men literally chase me down the street. I had no idea so many men were into it, it actually shocked me and they were always the ones you would least expect as well.

[@Franz19970]

I've always been 100% straight. However, I have had very low testosterone lately (mine was 24, average is 200) and have noticed attractiveness is men for the 1st time in my life at age 34

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks for sharing

[@bobby1970]

I'm male, and I used to be about 100% straight, and now I'm at least 80% gay. I actually like sucking on penises and I like the taste of most men's semen. I definitely think you should experience gay sex. Just go with it, and enjoy it. It's so awesome and feels so good. I absolutely love the male body.

[@bobby1970]

@@knrdvmmlbkkn Yeah, it's hard to say for sure if we were born that way or our sexuality orientation changes for some reason. Who knows for sure? More research is needed. Maybe they will find out for certain eventually.

[@SJ-EOR]

I have loved two bi men. Its been interesting.

[@edmondmartinson3427]

I’ve been bi for a number of years and enjoy it. I like and enjoy both sexes. It is very difficult to meet bi guys. Socially it’s not acceptable to inquire openly as to one’s preference. I enjoyed the video and I am looking forward more in the future.

[@BrokenSoulConfession]

Agreed wholeheartedly about #7. Also, in the same perspective, people often used Christianity to shun same sex relationship. But there are findings that in the history of Christianity, a loving relationship doesn't necessarily demand different genders. David & Jonathan, for example. And even the core teaching of Jesus is about love in general, without specific requirements. Only modern people twists the biblical words to attack the LGBTQIA community. Many uses the lines that Paul said. But if we analyze it deeper, his words were about adultery or being unfaithful in general. Not specifically about the sin of homosexuality. #8 is also spot on. But I'd like to think it's the result of decades of gaslighting you mentioned before. Like, in my case, I grew up feeling that something is wrong with me, considering people kept saying how liking someone of the same sex is a sin. It took me years to finally accept that I'm not wrong. That's just how I am as a person. Not something or a lifestyle I can choose. But I do, however, made the choice to embrace it.

[@StormChaser9911]

The only issue I take with the label "Bi" is that it doesn't sound inclusive of intersexed individuals or non-binary individuals. Intersexed being related to biological sex, non-binary being related to social gender.

[@notdefining]

It’s understandable to associate the term bi with binary but the term has explicitly included those of diverse sex and gender since the inception of the word. I am non-binary and bi for example. “Intersex” is the term and relates to sex characteristics. Non-binary is a broader term which can encompass intersex people and those who do not ascribe to the notion of binary gender.

[@AZodiacCancer]

I'm heteroromantic bisexual and people are always confused when I say that. Others have given me shit because HeTeRo...

[@notdefining]

I hear you. You’re not alone. Don’t listen to the ignorance. You are perfect.

[@berickslime6718]

You are literally the problem though. Gays are put off by you, because many of us have been used by y'all. So I am good enough to hook up with, but not good enough to date and only women are?

[@playergc7252]

This concept of bi people not being trust worthy is so alien to me, I wonder if its a american thing or I just never heard of it before.

[@holland9199]

Write Love and Physical attraction is between 2 (3) people not a social group clique or society, in France 🇫🇷 Greece 🇬🇷 Italy 🇮🇹 uk 🇬🇧 it’s a norm people mind their own business 😅

[@XMarkxyz]

Lets remember extremely bi Julius Caesar described as "husband of every woman and bride of every man"

[@johnjosephortiz4311]

"There is inevitably one bisexual in your family" We'll, here I am! 🤗🤗🤗🤗

[@notdefining]

Haha love this. Yay.

[@noelleggett5368]

Are you in my family? Hey, cuz!

[@keysje9404]

Me too.

[@maximavilov5196]

Thank you for your chanel !

[@dippyfresh1635]

The double guessing is so truue! The problem for me is that I flip flop sometimes. I will feel no attraction towards women sometimes and no attraction towards men at other times. Luckily, this doesn't affect my attraction towards my partners.

[@bobby1970]

I'm male, and sometimes I flip flop with my sexual desires of a particular gender. Usually I almost always prefer sex with men.

[@stardewofpyrrhia4381]

I am the bisexual person in my family ❤

[@notdefining]

Statistically you are ONE of the bisexual people in your family. Let that sink in.

[@allanprimeau7864]

Dearest Mark, we really sense your strong, passionate commitment to bi+ visibility and to the larger LGBTQ+ community. Your video is so incredibly well done, backed by facts and research. I was reading the other day an online article from Deutsche Welle (Germany) about the brave Ukrainian soldiers fighting to liberate all Ukrainian territory from Russian imperialistic aggression. It was stated by officials in the government in Kyiv that there are currently one million gay or bi+ Ukrainian soldiers fighting in Ukraine. This is beginning to change attitudes in Ukraine. Hope and time are what can help us fight against biphobia and homophobia. Attitudes are changing, unfortunately not everyone is on board. We love you Mark. Thank you for everything that you do each and every day. Love, Allan

[@notdefining]

Allan my dear brother, sorry for the delay. I missed this comment. Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement and for your support to our channel. Thank you also for mentioning our brave community in Ukraine and also around the world. I hope so much that they are given the dignity and respect that they deserve for defending their people. All I can say is that sometimes at the lowest most desperate times, the most powerful love and beauty can arise.

[@helmrichharms2225]

#allanprimeau7864 with all due respect and sympathy, but even if all ukrainian soldiers are gay or bi (and that is quite unlikely) they are not over a million LGBT+ ukainian soldiers, because up to now Ukraine simply has not over a million soldiers. So don't give wrong and impossible figures to the public, as implausible figures damage our credibility.

[@allanprimeau7864]

​@helmrichharms2225 You know what, the figure on how many LGBTQ+ Ukrainian soldiers there are doesn't really matter. What really matters is that the Ukrainian government rightfully and duly acknowledges that there are soldiers who belong to the LGBTQ+ community who are fighting for the independence, territorial integrity, and freedom for all Ukrainians, whether they are gay, straight or trans, fighting for an European Ukraine, not an enslaved and colonised country by a terrorist state. You make it sound like one needs to be ashamed of being part of the community while in the army. Your attitude, your way of thinking is quite harmful, helping only to bring the community back 20, 30 or 40 years, back in the closet. Even if there were only one gay, bi or trans soldier in the Ukrainian army, the acknowledgement is what really counts. This speaks volumes to the free world: that anyone can fight for one's country, regardless of sexual orientation or gender. You seem to focus on the number, almost convey a certain malaise. Not a million so what! What Ukraine truly needs right now is our support, generosity, and patience.

[@helmrichharms2225]

@@allanprimeau7864 I agree to your 2nd sentence and the last few sentences of your post. But I disagree to your view, that facts and figures do not really matter. Just in the contrary. Easy to falsify figures or facts damage OUR credibility with people who are not part of the LGBTQ+ community but are or could be friends of our aims. So be careful with your arguments.

[@GusliMike]

As a bisexual guy in his 20s, how would I come off as compelling to much older men? Don't know, behave in a certain way, some kind of appearance or whatnot?

[@notdefining]

Think of the feeling you want to feel by being with an older man, then set the intention to embody that feeling every single day. You will begin to embody it and become magnetic to people who are going to give you that feeling.

[@GusliMike]

@@notdefining Wow, simple as that! Thanks a bunch, Mark!

[@nicholasdisciscio1379]

Possible middle aged bi make here who has only had sexual experience and relationships w woman. I’ve suffered so much anxiety and depression from trying to “figure it out”. It has caused me so much grief. Has anybody experienced something similar? I also was tested for a form of OCD called HCOD or homosexual OCD in which a person has intrusive thoughts about tenor sexuality. They do mental rituals in which they might constantly watch straight porn to confirm their heterosexuality or ask others if they “look” or “talk” guy. The OCD treatment didn’t seem to help. I feel very alone.

[@notdefining]

You are not alone. I specialise in coaching people experiencing HOCD. If you’d like support you can connect via Patreon.com/notdefining or book a 1:1 session through notdefining.square.site. You can also connect with many other people who experience similar through our private Facebook group if you join. I have a whole playlist on HOCD on this channel. Check it out. Here for you and you’re not alone. .

[@nandri213]

Definitely SSRI drug like citalopram can help to reduce anxiety and depression consult psychiatrist

[@notdefining]

@nandri213 it’s true. Medication can be an option.

[@paulmaloney2383]

We know that heterosexuals are exclusively attracted to the opposite sex and gays are exclusively attracted to the same sex. Not sure how to put this question forward clearly but is bisexuality scaled by sexual attraction and the intensity of sexual arousal between the sexes, are they aroused equally by both sexes or do they prefer one slightly over the other, or is it fluid, in other words are they attracted to both sexes 50/50?

[@notdefining]

No they’re not 50/50. There are all kinds of varieties. We’re very diverse.

[@holland9199]

From a Rational, Logical point of view I have found this to be true and in my experience factual, as a straight gay male I prefer bisexual men, I have found that at the end of the day they come home to you. 😮 life is simpler for them, their with your he person who makes them feel comfortable and I personally never have to ask if their gay I know and they know who they are 😎 no drama that’s the way they like 👍 it

[@conniepayne4425]

Please tell me where you got the information that Malcolm X was bi! I have never even heard this as a rumor.

[@notdefining]

Check out bi.org

[@horaciohernandez598]

I like women and very effeminate gay men. I’m particularly fond of Femboys and twinks. For many years I thought I wasn’t bi or gay since I’m attracted to femininity. But I’ve just come to accept my bisexuality ❤

[@erinkelley2129]

This is so helpful!

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks for saying. I’m so glad.

[@dreasbn]

For ages I state that as much as are exclusively homosexual are exclusively straight. So 6 or 7 percent on each end are either or. The rest is somewhere on the scale of bisexuality mostly depending on education religion society character braveness awareness of your own sexuality…

[@myfriendgoo2816]

This is my 27th year on the spectrum out of 60 in all. Male, Still never married, so I guess I'm not good at this (ISTP strong introvert, BTW). Probably 70-30 like-girls/like-guys, though not much of either in practice while in U.S. If there were more going on I'd fit the unfair "greedy" stereotype, in that on the male side I have a type and am very picky. Also almost Gavin Newsom lucky on looks determined by genes. So if I go to a venue with lots of guys I might get interest from many I'm not interested in and I'm not good at the graceful rejections (not enough practice). Introverts also don't take so well to crowded settings. The gay side has been slowly gaining share as sexual experiences are successful...after 20 years top-only I tried developing the bottoming and it had lots of pain and problems at first but finally works. Still have never done real dating with a guy or been on a relationship track, so that's a bridge to cross. Have done dating on female side but not recently and I was ahead of my time, apparently, in getting burned out on it. With porn the gay stuff is watched most (Jake Olsen a fave performer), but the straight stuff still works and some of the trans does. Also still have the wandering eye with the attractive females. The point of all this being that I've either been stuck in the mud for a long time if it's all a halfway house to being gay, or it IS possible to be truly bi. Though I'm not out as bi- to anyone I've known for longer than the 27 years or any family because there's nothing to be gained for anyone by knowing yet, and with few exceptions I think they'd subscribe to the popular prejudice that bi- people really don't exist.

[@jabinashrinasaikia56]

The last point ❤

[@MG-vf8xm]

Is bisexuality related to autism spectrum especially with men?

[@drenter477]

There are correlations between LGBTQ and Autistic / ADHD people. Not just men though. Look it up online and there will be a couple of websites on it

[@rickcooper7475]

I'm bi and when it comes to guys i prefer studs and with women i prefer curvy or plus size

[@notdefining]

Thanks for sharing

[@joeburton7784]

number 11: this guy is unbelievably handsome as hell 🥵

[@notdefining]

Aw thanks 🙈🥰

[@charlesufarlie4181]

If Bisexual is defined by being attracted to the opposite sex and same sex of that person then would being a man that's not attracted to other men constitute as being attracted to transsexual women and biological women is that person considered to be Bisexual too

[@notdefining]

No that would be a heterosexual man.

[@dreasbn]

Yep and unfortunately or naturally a lot of people first dare to come out as bi before outing as gay eventually.. this overshadows the „real“ bisexual and not be taken serious. I know people who have regularly sex with the same gender and still define as straight and freak if you question it based on their sex life…

[@westwind53154]

I only know about the men in my immediate circle of acquaintances. While I am gay, the men who tell me they are straight will still will want to get close to me mentally. They want to talk about gay sex and do have fantasies about it, on a level they can handle. Many of them have never had a man touch them in an intimate way or vice versa. I am always extra careful when this happens since a frightened man is a dangerous man. A surprise to me was the amount of men that always wanted their father to give them affection (on any level). Many did not have fathers in the picture while growing up and had no idea what intimacy was between two males. When the term bi-sexual comes up, I always get edgy because I think it is a label most men don't really want. One sexual romp that is experimental in nature, doesn't qualify for the life-time label of "bi-sexual". Plus, the jumble of ideas and feelings we have when we are young are not the same as we age. In retrospect, we are all bi-sexual in nature but our preferred pronouns are the ones we balance on a social level, usually internally.

[@notdefining]

Thank you for sharing these beautiful perspectives and experiences. I loved reading this.

[@ashleymyrrh1756]

Can a bisexual person be sexually fulfilled in a monogamous relationship? Or is authentic bisexuality inconsistent with monogamy?

[@notdefining]

Bisexuality has no link whatsoever with polyamory. So yes bisexual people, just like people of any orientation can be sexually fulfilled in a monogamous relationship.

[@ashleymyrrh1756]

@@notdefining So, if a bisexual person is in a monogamous relationship with a man or woman, doesn’t that default them into a homosexual or heterosexual state? Or is there always a sexual yearning in that bisexual person who in a monogamous relationship that is never fully satisfied?

[@luciddreams6210]

@@ashleymyrrh1756not really. If a straight person can manage just fine without feeling they need to have secs with multiple members of the opposite secs and a gay person can manage not having secs with multiple members of the same then there is no reason a bisexual person can’t do that either. Any person regardless of sexuality can be either satisfied or unsatisfied with their partner.

[@ashleymyrrh1756]

@@luciddreams6210 Thank you, but your analogy rather misses the point. This is not about the number of sexual partners, but rather the nature of that sexual partner. Note, bisexuality is not asexuality . A bisexual makes the explicit assertion of enjoying intimate relations with both men and women. So if he/she denies himself/herself of either whilst in a monogamous relationship, to what extent is that denial existential to their identity as a bisexual?

[@luciddreams6210]

@@ashleymyrrh1756 it’s about the individual partner regardless though. That’s not unique to bisexuals. I guess it’s different for different bisexuals? But I don’t see how only being with one partner would be more of an issue for someone given that even though there are vast differences between men and women physically and otherwise, there are also vast differences between individuals. A straight man who has been with one woman would automatically see all of us as interchangeable if that weren’t the case. Everyone who is attracted strictly to one sex would never have any urges or desires for others.

[@josebro352]

Never knew that Malcom X was bi. Cool. 👍

[@nigelspeller1850]

How could I be a sexuality and relationship coach

[@notdefining]

Look up the ICF and they have accredited courses there. I trained with Become Coaching in integrative coaching. Then I applied this to my experience mentoring people on issues of sexuality and relationships. So I just gained experience. Coaching is an unregulated profession so you can call yourself a coach even without certification, there are lots of courses available. I chose to get certified with the ICF because they are the leading international body for coaches. The most important thing above courses and certification is - do you have lived experience and can you listen and hear people? That’s it.

[@flyinspaghetti5463]

U just came out as bisexual. feel good

[@chrismorpher7439]

Just came out to my family and friends as Bi

[@conmc99]

Hope it went well

[@notdefining]

So proud

[@Alex-jd2yx]

Tbh the weirdest thing about being bi is that I can't bare the thought of my parents doing it, it's seriously the main focal point of my bi concience, I suppose the word sex itself can be a big word, because im more of a sensualist and I really cant handle people that talk about sex all the time and tbh it makes me feel really uncomfortable to a degree, this is why so many bi struggle with the LGBT label is because we already are in touch with more emotions then a regular human may per say and we are working our minds a bit more then others may be doing, so we spend more time walking the walk and not comparing ourselves to trans or feminine queers, for me personally I feel like I fit in but definitely not enough to feel comfortable and that's my real honest opinion, bi erasure happens to us also from both queers and straights and that's a lot to bare 😥

[@Alex-jd2yx]

I also feel that most people have thought of bi-ness or had an experience but attraction plays a huge roll in the outcome as people grow up, human intelligence is always evolving and as LGBT norms progress so does the human evolution, love is love and technically speaking labels cant really be a thing per say otherwise people would be sexist so it really we should use labels as a pretext to biased I suppose 😅 anyhow like I said as people evolve I mostly feel that the laws of attraction and knowledge play the biggest role with in more of these mass amounts of bi spectrums to become more out persay

[@MichaelHeinen-qk6gg]

​​​​​@@Alex-jd2yxMost men are bisexual , i mean "so called straight men" are more obsessed with gay sex then actual gay , bi and ture straight men , so ya it's a decades old obsession with young to middle age men in school hallways and around the workplace water cooler . One minute they hate gays , the next minute they are flirting with eachother and brushing it off with all that "NO HOMO" BS , it's not rocket science to figure that one out . I never see women acting like this even tho "female bisexuality" is supposed to be more common and has been more socially execptable for the last 20 to 30 years now in porn and in the nightclub culture 😂😂 . It's all men on the "DOWN LOW" projecting their male bisexuality onto women and feminine men .

[@notdefining]

Hey thanks for sharing your unique experience. I appreciate it. @@Alex-jd2yx

[@steffanhoffmann]

I'm curiously wondering why the Bible condemns it. For years I've never seen a satisfactory explanation. Does anyone have an explanation for me? Thanks 👍

[@notdefining]

It doesn’t. The Hebrew was Arkansoi not “man” which refers to the Roman practise of taking underage boys as sexual partners. It was a custom at the time. The word “man” was translated in 1947 in the USA. You think I’m messing with you, I’m not. Literally the Bible was changed to be homophobic.

[@steffanhoffmann]

@@notdefining Thanks for your reply. The Quaran also doesn't recognise it.

[@notdefining]

@@steffanhoffmann If you read it that way.

[@marlonelias]

He’s good looking!.!.

[@jaimeegilmoreduetcovers9406]

The one that I have a real issue with is the fact that a lot of bisexual men do not tell the women that they are dating or having sex with. That they are bisexual they hide it and I don't think that is right. I think that they should be out with it or that there should be some type of warning label on their forehead seriously. It's very disturbing I don't have an issue with bisexual people or gay people. I've an issue with being lied to about it

[@notdefining]

What you’ve said is like saying: “The one that I have a real issue with is the fact that a lot of Black men cheat on their partners. I don’t think that’s right. I think there should be some kind of warning label on their forehead seriously. It’s very disturbing. I don’t have an issue with Black people or POC. I’ve an issue with being cheated on”. SORT YOUR VIEWS OUT BEFORE COMING ON MY PAGE WITH YOUR JUDGEMENT. Thanks.

[@dano3952]

Bisexual men also lie to their Gay partners about the women they are intimate with.

[@VladimirBlarp]

I would never tell my own woman about my secret escapades with men.

[@Imetwurld_]

@@VladimirBlarp don't do it ! Im a female but pls don't do it. It would end up horribly .just date a woman and be faithful .hid ur bisexuality well .this women out here are homophobes.

[@yoyodre]

​@@notdefiningWith all respect, i don't think you were fair or objective to that person. She didn't say that bisexuals lie or cheat because they are bisexual. She said she takes issue with bisexuals who engage with women and are actively dishonest. And right under your reply, you have someone affirming that kind of toxic behavior. We see similar behaviors in queer relationships too. I do not buy into the notion that bisexuals are inherently promiscuous nor deceptive. That is ignorant & offensive. However, i also think slamming people as biphobic for acknowledging bad actors exist in our community is problematic. We should not be shielding people who disregard boundaries & consent for sake of combating bi-erasure.

[@zaneslosson8903]

To my information about bisexual (which most people can agree on), bi is an attraction to more genders.

[@daveluna7931]

Very true 🎉

[@lynnhettrick7588]

4:05 I'm not sure this is necessarily true. For some it's definitely true. But I know plenty of trans people who have transitioned but who they are attracted to remained the same. I know a trans man who had been a lesbian for years, but realized that didn't feel right. So now he's a trans man who dates women. I know several trans women who were attracted to women before they transitioned and now they still date women, so they're trans and lesbians. Gender identity, gender expression, and sexuality are all different.

[@notdefining]

That's true. There are many different Trans identities and sexualities. In the UK it's just statistically bisexual is the most common sexuality that Trans people identify with, according to official research. That was just my reason for stating it. But yes of course there are so many.

[@meridianheights6255]

Great video. Subbed today.

[@notdefining]

Thank you so much for being here

[@chenvictor8]

I have been/ / debating if I'm bisexuALITY or not. I have very strong feelings towards men but might have some itching towards the opposite sex. I sometimes feel like women make better long term partners but can't see myself with a woman long term.

[@notdefining]

Hey that’s so valid.

[@romanobr]

I feel the same way about this, except in my case it's just the opposite about women and men. With men it's as if it were something superficial, something more related to sexual pleasure and with women it's something more romantic, but it also wouldn't be something I wanted to carry on with my whole life. It's like I feel better being alone than with someone, regardless of whether it's the same sex or the opposite.

[@pauljack7170]

agreed .. if society religion did not built up lebels one might take his life love sex opportunities without the need to wonder what the others might think or if issomething against something said that there will always be people with just one way oriented mind and others flexibles

[@dave7908]

I would deem myself as Bi, Im attracted to both sexes. Any sex is good sex. I have had several liaison male partners. But unfortunately I am left with a massive guilt complex and huge regret. I cannot get beyond this, I assume it is down to my childhood