10 Things A Narcissist Would Say

Are you dealing with a narcissist right now? Narcissists are masters of sabotage, deceit, and emotional manipulation. While Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is only present in a very rare few, a lot more people actually have narcissistic tendencies that can make them just as dangerous to be around as someone with NPD. This is why so many of us, unfortunately, find ourselves falling for them and letting them into our lives without really knowing just how much trouble we’re getting into. Oftentimes, we don’t realize how horrible they really are until it’s too late. So, we have made this video to help you learn how to spot a narcissist and save yourself the emotional trauma.
If this video sounds like someone you know but you're not too sure if they are a narcissist, we've got you covered as well! Here's our previous video on the signs someone is a narcissist: • 9 Signs Someone is a N...
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Deanca Rensyta Mihardja
KZbin Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
American Psychological Association (2013). The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - 5th Edition. Washington, DC: APA Publishing.
Perez, M. (2019). “The Language Narcissists Use to Manipulate and Traumatize Their Victims.” Journal of Traumatic Stress, 14 (2), 369-389.
Carlson, E. N., Naumann, L. P., & Vazire, S. (2011). Getting to know a narcissist inside and out. The handbook of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder: Theoretical approaches, empirical findings, and treatments, 285-299.
Holtzman, N. S., Vazire, S., & Mehl, M. R. (2010). Sounds like a narcissist: Behavioral manifestations of narcissism in everyday life. Journal of Research in Personality, 44(4), 478-484.
Edwards, J. R. (2010). “Sneaky Tools of Narcissistic Manipulation and How to Recognize Them.” Psychology Today, 29 (4); 311-320.
Aslinger, E. N., Manuck, S. B., Pilkonis, P. A., Simms, L. J., & Wright, A. G. (2018). Narcissist or narcissistic? Evaluation of the latent structure of narcissistic personality disorder. Journal of abnormal psychology, 127(5), 496.
Arabi, S. (2014). “Common Diversion Tactics of Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths.” The British Journal of Psychiatry, 180 (4), 363-368.

[@janedoe133]

My cat came to mind, 😳but she’s forgiven. 😻

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Lol

[@kmr4360]

💀💀💀💀

[@oliviateller9087]

😭😭😭

[@byunbaek6210]

HAHAHA SAME

[@glennbrown3426]

TRUTH! I have three of those little narcissistic things 😻😻😻

[@jilliancrawford7577]

One thing I've noticed about narcissists is that they think everyone around them is a narcissist.

[@jiyou8073]

Maybe you are a narcissist too.

[@SJD207]

Yes narcissists project what they are onto others constantly... 🤪

[@annickdeborgher3896]

Yeah!

[@privatedeborah1004]

The exact thing happened to me in a past relationship. This guy was obsessed with the idea his father is a narcissist, it turned out he was narcisstic himself. He considered himself as the eternal victim, his parents were rich and he was the typically spoiled rich kid who had a taste for drugs and relentness self pity.

[@hs-zd4ch]

Thiss!!! Common among narcissistic abusers and non-narcissistic abusers is the thought that other people are just as manipulative, selfish, etc and then through that they believe that they don't have to change or have accountability.

[@normanelat]

from my observation, narcissists dislikes confident people because they aren't 'controlable'

[@kuntao791]

They dislike confident people that are not subservient to their egos and can see through their bullshit. They love confident people that fall for their bullshit.

[@Kelle0284]

@@kuntao791 Confident people won't fall for stuff like that.

[@kuntao791]

@@Kelle0284 I've witnessed this.... or maybe they just seem confident.

[@saddytrends]

Yeeeeees!! This is so true

[@geekzer713]

@Bilinda Mueller pure evil I had one situation not that long ago with narcissists (1st time in my life) and it was very horrible

[@michaelachase]

Just escaped a narcissist that had me in her grasp for 7 years. Videos like this really help validate and understand things more clearly. Thank you for making videos like this, seriously

[@Weekdiertje]

so hows life been when you got escaped? I'm so doubtful if I should do it

[@michaelachase]

@@Weekdiertje life has been significantly better but I still live in fear of her. Just way less stressed and better off because I’m not getting put down every day and starting to actually love who I am for me. It’s hard because you still think about them but easy at the same time because you also think about everything they put you through, but it’s worth it

[@Weekdiertje]

@@michaelachase thank you for responding, I appreciate it. I have to do it at the end of this month too.

[@michaelachase]

@@Weekdiertje it’s definitely really hard to untrain your brain dealing with a narcissist but it’s so worth your mental health and serenity to cut contact. It’s apparently the most sure fire way to remove them and stop the trauma. You got this man

[@321tiempo3]

I'll have a baby with one

[@sarah7thday786]

Guard your heart above all else.

[@rosethornil]

Thank you for this reminder. It was exactly what I needed to remember today. Exactly. I’m struggling myself to sort things out and this is a blessing for me. Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

[@Rawan98n]

I'm sorry for everyone who's been in a relationship with a narcissist person

[@ranikalakaar]

Mi 2

[@kaylaburse6319]

I was.... He emotionally abused me and I broke up with him.... Then he tried to get me back and said "I love you... I just wanted you to know that." And I said... "You're too late but thanks for telling me."

[@Rawan98n]

@@kaylaburse6319 good for you girl!!!

[@RideAcrossTheRiver]

I tell myself that her narcissism was a monstrous trait of her personality tied closely to her anger, dissatisfaction, alcoholism and drug use--things she just did not care to, bother to, or was able to control.

[@karlakolumna3101]

If it is any consolation and for anyone currently suffering heartache over someone like that: my narcissistic marriage ended 9 years ago and after a while of healing, I feel a bit "bulletproof" against this now. I recognize these traits in someone quickly and am able to keep/seek my distance. It's not a nice experience per se, but once you understand the patterns, you will recognize them when they show up again and be able to clean up your social circle and live more peacefully&happy. 💐

[@michaelmulvania6060]

Once you see a narcissist clearly. Every narcissist you meet from then on sticks out like a sore thumb.

[@jelle7]

Yep, as soon as I realized my mother is a narcissist, I started thinking about my acquaintances/friends, out of the 40+ people at least 4 I'm sure of they're narcissistic. Luckily I don't have narcissistic close friends.

[@e.MiLixx]

Right my narc mother was like you say everyone is a narc and I’m like no I just attract them because I was taught love by you

[@julietrask7497]

Dated one for 4 yrs but only recently have I researched . My therapist nailed it for me, yes because of the situation you HAVE to seek help. I almost died literally.

[@MouseMan04]

I’ve just been block to block in crocs and sock hop out the whip and drop the top

[@riooproductions9227]

Are you tired of being taken advantage of? kzbin.info/www/bejne/kHrImpSGjpZ8pZo ❗️❗️💔🧊

[@KatherineGrey-pz9on]

Narcissists do the opposite of what is right. That’s what makes them so cruel. If they’re capable of crazy-making and gaslighting you to get their way, if they’re capable of giving you the silent treatment knowing you’re in pain and looking for answers, if they’re capable of destroying your reputation by starting a smear campaign and if they’re capable of triangulating you with their flying monkeys so they can humiliate you…then why in the world wouldn’t they be capable of something like cheating? Narcissists are entitled. Narcissists lack empathy. Narcissists are delusional enough to justify their actions. They have all of the ingredients for being a cheater. They’re known for cruel and devastating discards, but somehow they would stop at cheating on you because they have morals and just couldn’t go through with it? No one can truly believe that. The narcissist believes he’s so slick that the other person’s name will actually come up in conversations, if you’re paying attention. But the narcissist will mention them with disgust, as if he wants nothing to do with them. “I can’t stand working with Karen. She annoys me everyday and I can’t believe the things she wears sometimes.” It’s a test to see how you respond to this name coming up periodically. It’s also a way for the narcissist to gain some sadistic glee because they can talk about the other person with you while you’re not yet aware of this person’s role in their life. When they drop the bomb on your head and the realization hits that they’re leaving you for “that Karen” they’ll be overjoyed. If you’re with a narcissist you should be prepared for the push and pull, the other women or men popping up or even outside children. They can’t even be trusted to show up to an event on time. They certainly can’t be trusted with your heart. Additionally, Cheating in marriages is not restricted to only men. Women cheat as much as men do. If you're suspecting your wife of infidelity, you'll have to keep an eye on her of her without her knowledge of her. One of the best ways to know if your spouse cheats on social platforms is by paying close attention to how your spouse behaves while online. The signs are pretty the same. Is your spouse more time on the app without explanation and gets unnecessarily defensive when you ask about it? If your spouse behavior has changed lately, and continues to spend more time on social apps, it's time for you to take action, with the help of a private investigator (suggested; METASPYHUB@GMAIL. COM , you can find out what is taking all their time on social apps, who they are talking to and other things happening,,

[@Crazy_Chriz]

Dang that’s a text wall

[@millyjones3562]

One thing I'll advise anyone is to. "Never let a narcissist offer you some help. Because is usually a TRAP, and how they get to control and boss you around. And at the end of the day when you're eventually sick and tired of all their rules and bullying,and finally choose to stand up for yourself,and start telling them how you really feel about how they've been treating u.Then they'd start calling you UNGRATEFUL." And some might even try to hurt you, due to the anger they've got inside of them cuz of this courageous-act you just did. Majority of them are usually like this. So be careful guys! P.S -Just saying based on my experiences with a couple of them.

[@ChocolateMilk..]

Bullseye!

[@JoshuaCastillo6309]

Yup. Everything they do is a game. If they appear to be helping someone or putting themselves down, it’s part of a plan to elevate themselves above you. And I’ve seen it work, it’s disgusting.

[@dibrentley7915]

Good advice, am going out with a guy atm who wants to do things for me all the time, I make sure he doesnt by telling him I dont like to feel obligated to anyone. Not sure if hes a narcissist but he is certainly different to other people I know.

[@rara.raaaaa]

It's happen to me right now! Help!!

[@NurseRay]

You described my husband. When confronted, he goes into a narcissistic rage. He cannot show or be vulnerable, EVER. I've tried to have a good marriage, but he cannot. My relationship with my husband is very shallow, with no depth whatsoever.

[@inbasicterms-popculturevid1704]

Narcissism has more in common with self-hatred than with self-admiration

[@mistydreamz]

The self admiration is a defence mechanism used to cope with the extreme self hatred

[@Tiger-cm2rp]

So many girls on tik tok support narcissism when it’s a girl doing it it’s just weird overall

[@Sophia-bu3gp]

@@mistydreamz that’s deep

[@zz7733]

Bet.

[@BethanyHarbaugh]

I can say that this is a very accurate comment. In my personal experience with two of my own family members, they learned their narcissistic tendencies through their own trauma. One of my family members dealt with an abusive first marriage at a really young age, so they developed a self-hatred for themselves and never dealt with the trauma (and still refuses to acknowledge they haven't truly dealt with it yet). A lot of people who have narcissistic tendencies are making up for low self-esteem and going through life with a bit of a facade. It's a self-defence mechanism, as mistydreamz said. It's really sad when these people really do need help but are often too proud or scared to show true vulnerability long enough to actually get anywhere with someone. To anyone who has dealt with narcissism or narcissistic tendencies from loved ones, hang in there and stand your ground. Sometimes, these people need someone to tell them 'no' for once and to show them the consequence of their actions. I've grown more distant with the loved ones who have shown narcissistic tendencies. And, if they want to be close to me, my husband, and my kids, they can get some help and learn how to be more thoughtful. People with these tendencies CAN be treated, but only if they're receptive to getting help in the first place. But, don't ever think it's up to you to fix them. It's their choice and their work alone. Just give them the right boundaries so you don't have to be worn down.

[@larajoygheriafi8205]

My “best friend” did all of these things.... I had low self esteem because of them and ended up blaming myself for all that happened

[@lizseal6401]

This happened to me as well. The kids in elementary school can be surprisingly manipulative. I had two toxic friends who said almost every single one of these.

[@themockingjay3173]

Wtf hauahauaha😂

[@sz7646]

@@themockingjay3173 gtfo.

[@xoxosalma6303]

BRUH I GOT BULLIED AND THAT MADE MY SELF ESTEEM DIE SO I FEEL U

[@Gks812]

☹️ same here.

[@swiftninja91]

My dad shows a lot of narcissistic traits. Thankfully, my mum is starting to see it now and has started standing up for herself and not taking his crap any more

[@harrybaldwin7517]

W mum

[@fire4ev]

how is that a w mum who starts to see it years later after having children@@harrybaldwin7517

[@viciousLUA]

Please hug your mom. As a mom, I know what she’s going through..

[@beanoir86]

Coming out of a 7 year narcissistic abusive relationship was the best thing that ever happened to me... too many of those phrases ring true 😒

[@ValeneseB]

It was 7 years for me, too! 😢😢

[@kat71580]

Mines been a lifetime ., I was constantly told, my family didn't love me, moved miles away from them...control, isolation, I've fought back, I'm nearly, thru that open door..be kind to yourself, stay strong...find you again..❤

[@tigresmom5654]

7 years is a long time to deal with someone like that, or it feels like it anyway. Hopefully you don't have to talk to them anymore.

[@VengefulPolititron]

Might be a narcissist: 1. looks for validation alot 2. isolate you from others 3. say you're overreacting 4. "not everything is about you" 5. "nobody likes you" 6. "I help you, you owe me" 7. "you can't do it without me" 8. "don't let it go to your head." 9. "I'm the best you'll ever have" 10. "I'm only doing this cause I love you."

[@VengefulPolititron]

@@moniopia9551 that's the original story... reflection in a pond. but yes. I do that too.

[@VengefulPolititron]

@@moniopia9551 self reflection. childhood trauma social learning school stuff things that hurt you emotionally. learn about it. because of you don't know why you react or think the way you do.... them like me. and all people.. are just robots with programmed reactions. gotta fight yourself and not react the way you think you should or can. choose the high path. don't be a victim of your emotions or past. learn the truth about yourself. find the inner child. who you really are... before life hurt you. we all have been changed by that do back to who you were born as

[@marcybernstein1647]

MY SISTER IS AN NARCISSIST. SHE GOES AROUND TO EVERYONE AND SPEAKS BADLY WITH EVERYONE WHE KNOWS ABOUT US OUR FAMILY. SHE FORGETS SHE IS AN 8TH GRADE DROP OUT. I TRULY LOVE MY SISTER AND WISH WE COULD HAVE HAD A BETTER RELATIONSHIP YEARS AGO AND BE VERY CLOSE TODAY.

[@aprils.r8418]

Sounds like my husband. I don't know what to do guys 😔

[@betlea8070]

Always look for a list as the pace of the voice is infuriatingly slooooooooooo! Thanks for saving nearly 6mins of my life!!

[@arbieWA]

Let's not forget that "I miss you" means "I miss controlling you," and "You've changed" means "You're not letting me control you anymore." EDIT: Obviously I am not talking about people in normal, healthy relationships. This applies to abusers. Given the nature of this video, I didn't think that needed to be stated outright.

[@sebastianplatt6815]

Spot on.

[@mollymcwilliams3325]

That second part thoooo

[@Sinfulscents]

Wow that’s interesting

[@Coral781]

Totally. Took me awhile to realize this but it’s 🎯

[@diabloakland]

Omg yes

[@blazortheepic0384]

as the child of an abusive narcissist, I also love the "Are you calling me a liar"

[@skinistasty7384]

Oh my God my mom says that a lot 😭😭

[@user-ps9nd6uh9p]

After a 6 year relationship; I’m just now coming to a realization that I’ve been with a narcissist this whole time. The feeling of constantly walking on eggshells to avoid arguments; apologizing & taking the blame for their mistakes against you; feeling the need to reassure them that you’re not the person they accuse you to be; constantly trying to validate yourself as an honest, trusting person when they simply don’t trust you; being torn down when you feel more confident about yourself; being limited to interactions with certain people due to their manipulated behavior; etc…I’m fortunate to have the support system I have with my family to be able to move on more peacefully from a toxic relationship such as this one. I have finally decided “enough is enough!!” & I have the right to love myself & well being & finally step away from this relationship in order to be able to find myself again & enjoy life the way I did before meeting this individual. Very glad I recognized it before it got any worse. This goes to any person: “Learn to love yourself, before you can love anyone else”

[@orianabloom2571]

Narcissistic parents would say "You can't succeed or survive without me"

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

thank you.

[@bubblegum13131]

Lol

[@Chillwave6]

Mom told me that "she always does stuff for me, like clean the house and do a lot of chores" and that i can't cook just because she always cooks whatever she wants. She also said I'm not independent enough to even live by myself, so I replied "Wow I'm so amazed you got yourself pregnant at age 16 and me being 17 means you have rights to brag and insult others for not growing up fast enough." she kinda got mad about it and argued with me for 40 minutes before leaving to "take a nap"

[@ExposingtheNarcissist]

Very true. The narcissistic parent believes they can make or break you as their child. They brought you into the world and they can take you out as well😂. On a serious note they screw their children up really bad.

[@Chillwave6]

@Pragya Bhushan yeah i took both dishwashing and taking out trash as my chores but she did a bit of the complains anyway

[@racheldekker7590]

These are also signs of toxic friendships, look out for this.

[@iztheanimator5270]

Thx

[@chloecormier4347]

when my best friend does pretty much everything on this list....heh....

[@christavarghese5399]

I've had these friends in college ..now I stopped our friendship and am much happier

[@navyblues7123]

My “bff” doesn’t care about my feelings. She cares about me, but mainly cares about herself and her own feelings. I felt heartbroken when she acted like it didn’t really matter when my mom tried killing herself, especially since my mom treats her like we’re both sisters. I kind of despise my “bff” now..

[@navyblues7123]

@@christavarghese5399 Good for you❤️

[@robertfindley921]

I've known several narcissists. One was an ultra-narcissist. They are impossible to deal with. The one thing they all have in common is enablers. People that worship them and promote them to others. One subordinate of mine actually said "Just follow my direction. I can't think of a time when I was wrong."

[@emilymschoener9193]

OMG they collect enablers like candy.

[@robinalford2186]

Sounds like someone that use to live on Penn. Ave.

[@ITIsFunnyDamnIT]

Currently stuck living with a narcissist. I can't even begin to tell you what a P.O.S. this guy is and vindictive, manipulative, shit starter, violent and his sense of self importance is to the extreme like you wouldn't believe , actually maybe you would believe since you know how narcissist are. An You are sooooooo right about these P.O.S. narcissist always having someone who worships them. My nephew is married to one and I HATE his husband so much . I can't even say what I'd like to say. I just can't wait till the day he is out of here.

[@JoshuaCastillo6309]

That’s their lifeline. Without people who sucker into their BS, they’ll wither away.

[@krasistefanovlol]

oh god there are ultra narcissists

[@AllOutBible]

Holy crap. My ex wife would tell me that it amazed her how I never noticed that my friends couldn't stand being around me. Not all of them, but looking back, she focused on the ones who were most likely to have the time to check in on me.

[@deroffene-fenster-wahnsinn1326]

I had a narcissistic friend a long time ago and it amazed me as well that he never noticed how annoying he was around people. People rolled their eyes constantly etc. and he didn't notice!! It's astonishing to me until today.

[@RideAcrossTheRiver]

My ex-girlfriend would say I 'sucked all the air out of any room I was in' ... or 'all my friends say you're boring'. Strangely, though, her face showed a flash of horror when she said those things.

[@deroffene-fenster-wahnsinn1326]

@@RideAcrossTheRiver yeah, that's what narcissists don't get: they ain't as interesting and great as they think and that's what causes all their problems.

[@RideAcrossTheRiver]

@@deroffene-fenster-wahnsinn1326 I think my ex-girlfriend hated that part of herself and tried to control it. But she also drank heavily and got involved with people who were worse narcissists, so she lost that battle with herself.

[@JoinTheProgress]

Oh. So in other words, a narcissist acts like a five year old. Got it.

[@JayNicoleBean]

I know several narcissists and I agree with you that they tend to act like five year olds 😭

[@kristiemao4275]

There are five year olds with more empathy.

[@helenasturdevant1275]

@@kristiemao4275 I totally agree. My 3 year old cousins know how to be kind and think of others. Narcissists are disgusting and toxic.

[@kaymuldoon3575]

That’s exactly it in a nutshell. I would say they are more like three year olds in adult bodies.

[@veda2208]

Don’t insult 5 year olds .

[@mrsoggyramen9596]

Ugh, this soft spoken video enrages me. Why can’t you Yell your arguments like a normal person? My mom yells at me, my father yells at me, my siblings, teachers, boss, friends yell at me! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK SO SOFTLY!!! YOU THINK YOURE BETTER THAN ME?!?!?

[@bonesarebad]

I hope this is a joke lmao

[@mrsoggyramen9596]

@@bonesarebad 😜

[@deak1deak1]

😂😂😂

[@glenbateman5960]

It should be noted, "Not everything is about you" is often said TO the Narcissist by one of their intended targets. This does not mean we have uncovered a second Narcissist.

[@wesercole]

I lost my bestfriend of many years because of my narcissistic behaviour. She is the most gentle kindest person on earth and I lost her because of my toxic personality: I put her down, made her feel insecure, took advantage of her kindness and I will never forgive myself for that. She figured it out and not long after I did too. I just wanna say, take a step back and reflect on your actions, maybe it’s because of your bad childhood but you can help yourself. I’ve learned from my mistake and if you are reading this Melissa, you did a good thing by walking away from me, I’m sorry.

[@Themusicalpuzzle]

I am sad to read your comment. The good thing is that you recognize your mistakes....Time make us grow up and analize ourselves. I hope you will be friends again in the future. Life is long :)

[@madonnauchehara7755]

It takes a brave person to acknowledge their mistakes. You might have pushed your friend away because of some of these reason, but that doesn't make you a narcissist. A narcissist will never admit that they are wrong, because they are without empathy.

[@t-t8943]

Yeah I've had something similar happen to me. But she forgave me, I'm not sure if I'm narcissistic or not but used to have A LOT of mood swings and had some of the the things on the list (I do know I'm not an expert, so I won't diagnose myself) I do regret a lot of things I've done to her because she was my only true friend and all I had were my fake friends who I was very toxic to, and I'm trying my best to seek therapy however I always had this mentality where I would think that if you get therapy you're weak. Oops I made this too long, anyways I totally relate, and I know you can get through this and change because it's never too late, and I'm sure you're ex friend will at least appreciate that you are trying to change.

[@wesercole]

@@t-t8943 she distanced herself and that’s when I realised I was the toxic one this whole time. I needed some time apart from her to make me realise that. She greeted me on my birthday, I wanted to reply but I realised that for her own sake, I didn’t. She doesn’t deserve a person like me. I’m glad your friend forgave you

[@elgekok560]

@@wesercole Well you can change, honestly once you better yourself, come back to her.

[@arielm1374]

If I had a dollar for every time I was told "you're overreacting" "you're too sensitive" "stop being such a drama queen" while I was literally being beat to a pulp, I'd be rich.

[@erickmembreno6391]

She literally calls me a drama Queen 😅 ... f

[@thebutterscotchkid2481]

Can I give you the money? Lol, it seems like you deserve it

[@thefoolsfavorite]

that's kinda sad.

[@taisli2020]

This saying is also Very comum in toxic masculinity. I've knew someone that used to be really angry when I was sad, and he's had a already ready discourse about how someone was the result from he/She self, so he also used to made me feel guilty about my life. Then, he's began a discurse about how he was special, how strong and sucessful in his life, diferent and superior to others.

[@lonelyscarygirl]

Same, especially people from ifunn- that cursed place.

[@krejados1]

"No one can love you the way they do." Yep, you got that right.

[@kevinlawrence8588]

I had a therapist tell my wife I was the most narcissistic person he ever met . I started looking into NPD and ask myself was he right ? Since then I have worked really hard to NOT do all those narcissistic things and to be a better person - it’s an ongoing effort and a daily struggle sometimes , empathy in particular -I have to stop and make myself thing about other’s feelings sometimes . I don’t know if a narcissist can get better but all I can do is try to be better

[@moonlit_sky127]

admitting theres something wrong is the first and most important step to fixing it

[@nebula_unauthorized3093]

I used to have narcissistic tendencies; when I was younger I think I was a narcissistic person, but luckily I soon became very self aware and got myself to be a better person.

[@babyjay4107]

me too! I just kinda grew out of it.

[@maxpahlke2823]

I have the thoughts of saying it but i dont want to and i want people to be happy but my ego is like no and im like yes cause thats importand

[@lunasea4309]

Then you probably learned it from an adult around you.

[@davids1693]

When we are teenagers we seems to have all the disorders tendencies 😂 literally like narcsistic tendencies histrionic tendencies borderline tendencies antisocial tendencies but is just because the brain and the person is passing the teenager life to a adult life (not necesary i mean like more responsabilites) and then its like a shock and happen what i say before...

[@davids1693]

@@nebula_unauthorized3093 Yes the positive thing is you are aware so thats cool.Btw if you dont feel good search for help all the persons need help sometimes(and is not just for the people with disturbed personalites 😅).💫good vibes💫

[@notme_ytx1076]

Fun fact: The word narcissist comes from the guy Narcissus. He ended up falling in love with his reflection and looked at himself in a river for the rest of his life.

[@jacksongibbs8998]

When the nymph Echo was spurned by Narcissus, she placed a curse upon the the hunter, who upon seeing his reflection fell in love with it and wasted away trying to embrace it.

[@yvngjoint]

@Little Oatmeal MOST people do NOT know that. and nobody said they were smart for knowing it, they simply stated a fun fact.

[@allisenwendt7672]

Just like my cat, always looking at his reflection in the mirror

[@cicin9313]

@Little Oatmeal Imagine being so insecure, you need to resort to petty insults to complete strangers. Hmmmmm

[@zachtend]

@Little Oatmeal you don't deserve sweet strawberries as your pfp, you're obviously salty

[@cherryblossom3746]

I'm in a friendship and have known my friend for almost about 7 years. She has always made things always about herself and never thought really about anyone else. Thank you so much for this video so much 💙💙

[@vinsukun_]

I think a lot of people confuse narcissism with confidence. I have a lot of very confident & strong people in my life, including my best friend. She's always talking about how amazing she is and I agree with her. What makes her NOT a narcissist is that she is always lifting me up, helping me, and never asks for anything in return. She's been my best friend for almost 11 years now and she's given me so much that I've become a confident person myself lately and it's all thanks to her. She would never take credit for it, though. She always tells me I'm strong enough to become better and better on my own, and I love her for it. This video taught me that I don't currently have any narcissists in my life...and that the few I have encountered I've completely cut off!

[@24craash81]

don’t forget “you were being so nice to me now you’re being mean” which really means “why aren’t you letting me control you anymore?” 😂

[@lollidolly5381]

Or it could mean that you're being mean, either one

[@AmaraOkpechi]

A THOUSAND TIMES, YES!

[@thebutterscotchkid2481]

Have people actually said that to you?! Jesus Christ!!

[@kdphotos4691]

@@thebutterscotchkid2481 - I just heard it yesterday.

[@maxiejohnson1774]

To Game from Crash...That Sounds like A Narcissist Who Also Still caught in His/ Her Childhood the Way He/ She Worded how Nice or Not Nice U Owe Them Like U guys are Sharing Lollipops!! That's Exactly what it Means that's about Control and Wearing their Famous Mask's to the World, please don't Let People find OUT Who I Really Am, Because I Don't Really Know!!!!

[@FwireFwower1989]

Everything on this list reminds me of my mother. She used to tell me, "No-one is going to think you're cute but me"....

[@komedi8902]

Oof that’s bad

[@Psych2go]

I see. How are you coping with the situation?

[@rosieuwu9348]

I hope things are getting better, wish you luck

[@nagitoesfluffyahoge8591]

How did you type that 2 months ago

[@noorsabah1766]

Lmao did u time travel ?

[@leslieyancey5084]

My ex used to say, “I only do these (mean) things because I care about you and want you to reach your potential!” 🙄

[@olgatrilogymartin3143]

The audacity!

[@hikerhobby1204]

Gag!

[@pavithra-7429]

@@olgatrilogymartin3143 👍🏻👏🏻

[@pratzqwtyy]

😮😮😮

[@philtookgrenadesforme7785]

good example of one

[@novavoyd666]

I'm late to this video, and though I am not narcissistic, I was raised around one and probably subtly adopted some of her traits and ways of interacting. I've been watching a lot of these videos lately, trying to see myself in the things mentioned and other videos about how you might be a toxic person without knowing it, or manipulative without knowing it, and so far I think they're helping me see these things in myself. Thank you so much for the videos you put out there, it's helping me realise and acknowledge some of the bad traits I have and in doing that, I wanna learn to work on them and be the best person possible for other people and myself.

[@StayAtHomeMeme]

My mother was absolutely a clinical narcissist. My parents got divorced when I was very young (mom cheated on dad so he left) and I’m an only child. Being raised by a single mother narcissist was incredibly damaging. Thinking about it brings me close to tears. As a child you can’t “break up” with your narcissist and you have no idea how bad it is until you’re much older so you’re stuck. It’s tragic. I still harbor so much anger and resentment that no matter how hard I try I can’t release. I wish I could. To this day, if I see her name on my cell phone calling, my heart starts racing and I go into a panic attack because interacting with her cause so much anxiety.

[@jaywalx999]

Sorry you had to go through that. I really wish you the best future

[@rowanspiritwalker6667]

Much empathy and compassion! My mother was a narcissist too. She made it her mission to tear me down and try to take everything - friends, material goods and accomplishment - away from me. She broke into my houses, took things she knew were important to me, or that I had that she was jealous of and wanted, (racing bicycle and hundreds of dollars worth of Corningware), took my car, (I promptly took it back, it was mine and paid for with NO help from her), tried to get me fired from jobs, invited my friends over to dinner at her house behind my back and tried to alienate them from me..... I moved 1300 miles away from her when I was 25 and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I learned I wasn't the horrible, trashcan person she tried to make me and everyone else think I was, and though I have warts like anyone else out there, I was actually a pretty OK human being. I was very very low contact with her and kept her on a strict information diet till she died. I mourned when she passed.....not so much for the person as for the relationship that could have and SHOULD have been, had she not been a narcissist. I still have some really ambivalent feelings where she is concerned.

[@thepassenger733]

You didn’t cut contact with her ?

[@cullenmott7614]

@@jaywalx999 agreed. Wish you healing and freedom from that trauma 🙏

[@juicymandoo]

I’m sorry you went through that. Hopefully you are still close with your dad.

[@deltahomicide9300]

Narcissists always think they're honest and noble and anyone who tries to reason with them are sensitive and should grow a pair

[@napalm_lipbalm86]

My mom😕😕😕😕

[@deltahomicide9300]

@@napalm_lipbalm86 my mom too sweetie :c

[@jecka1982]

My sister

[@Lucia.m321]

I remember one "friend" back in elementary school who wanted to keep me only for herself, even was a bit obsessed

[@livies4life]

I just told a friend like that to back off, there’s more to the story and my life is so much better now

[@haikuoflife]

The isolating you from others and everything they do is for you, to try to manipulate you into thinking you are special. It starts out so subtle.

[@phosssssss7]

Similar things that I've seen a narcissist do - acting like others are always wrong - bragging about skills, money, etc... - lying to make themselves seem "better" - making fun of things you enjoy - blaming everything on you and not admitting to their mistakes - acting like their other friends are better than you Sorry, I know some of this stuff was already said in the video

[@blessedsoul949]

I concur,they are mean and cold-hearted!!

[@rtgbhreth]

I know someone who does exactly these things at work. She hates me cause I don't give her room to talk let alone put up with her bullshit 😂 luckily I got her moved away from me.

[@LittleFlower06]

I'm just checking if I'm not one cuz. like I like to make sure I look good before anything. like who wouldn't? buuuuuut.. I can't explain it. I love looking at myself making sure I look good

[@preciouslittlediamxond]

This literally describes someone I used to be friends with but me and the whole friend group decided to kick her out.

[@jeonbunny6890]

This is literally my sister, I suffered for 6 years because of her, she destroyed my mental health at one time in my life that I felt like suiciding..

[@dongxuemo4090]

I once had this friend who said to me “ you have no friends, nobody likes you, no wonder your 2 brothers committed suicide “ and then when I cried she said why are you crying and I said because you said this and she said “ I never said that “ after that I cut her out of my life

[@mookie121291]

Thats fucking twisted

[@sarahwilliams2440]

I'm glad to hear you cut this person out of your life. I hope you are doing better now and have better people around you 💕

[@dongxuemo4090]

Thanks

[@hmaroni9572]

OMG, so good you left!

[@trickynicky2118]

Gaslighting in effect!

[@garrickoestriecher1259]

That's so wild, I've definitely heard 2:15 so many times when my peers were "just messing with me." Yet my sister would get angry and tell me to take down some posts or be quiet about her friends' brothers. It's comforting to think that they won't be able to lie anymore when we are dead, and I hope others get to see what they don't like to talk about.

[@williamgoss4691]

A very interesting & informative video. I recognise several of narcissistic traits you mentioned in people I’ve met along the way. Trust me, you absolutely do not want to have a relationship with a Narcissist, it can be very destructive, verging on abusive.

[@maxenecorbe7478]

I love her voice its so relaxing i wish they have a podcast

[@Psych2go]

Thank you! sounds like a good idea :D

[@LolaLolo7]

Omg yessss

[@katrinaanub6795]

Yayyyyyyy😃😃😃😃

[@supraslp2.043]

Weirdo

[@BrandenPratt]

I always did like her voice as well.

[@lks806]

“Wow no wonder nobody else likes you” “Not everything is about you” Are the 2 phrases that I’ve heard multiple times before.

[@chloereed454]

Same

[@outlxndish]

same

[@idksalis]

High school ptsd..

[@vran.7745]

Same

[@lks806]

@@idksalis ah yes gotta love that...

[@MioKanashi]

After all I realised I'm the only problem. I found myself thanks for making me get the right way.

[@avivabillington5514]

100% true, people I'm related to & my abusive ex were narcissistic. Totally with tendencies & undiagnosed definately? From the list of 10-have heard all of them!! Especially manipulation on "your mother's the best friend you have" when nothing could be further from reality. I've meet so many people who I wonder about the tendencies or personality or both.. Thank you just subscribed 👍

[@wisdom-for-all]

Narcissists will always have someone they accuse of ruining their lives. Narcissists do not love - they hold hostages. If you meet one, RUN 🖖

[@Psych2go]

This is true! Have you met one before?

[@haibai7197]

Plot twist: the narcissists are always the Imposters in Among Us, because they accuse other people while slowly destroying them

[@haibai7197]

@@Psych2go I don't really know, but some of my "friends" have told me some of the things in the video

[@vartikaindora5906]

@@Psych2go I can't even choose to run. She's my mom ! 😞

[@veronicaclarke7499]

@@vartikaindora5906 Same. Can't escape when you're related to them.

[@distiranotdustycar4077]

Me: **chuckles** I'm in danger

[@Psych2go]

Uh oh!! Did these points describe you?

[@lindac6742]

Lmao Simpson’s af

[@putritiara9083]

Me to lol

[@jugemujugemugokonosurikire4735]

*Just a reminder this is not a video for a self diagnosis*

[@kingofhearts804]

4 points of this I related to, and I felt so bad because of them even though I used them without knowing

[@xtomthederpyx4769]

This has been a reality check for me. Gotta admit, I'm guilty of a few of these, although I don't intentionally do so

[@shade247]

I would say a true narcissist wouldn’t acknowledge that. So you may have some traits, but you likely aren’t a true narcissist ❤

[@Klexxxxx]

​@@shade247 I'm guilty of all of these and the best there is. A true narcissist wouldn't acknowledge all of these, so that must mean I am not a true narcissist. Thank you shade247!

[@purplemayhem]

My friend's parents, mainly her mom, definitely has narcissistic tendencies. It's so hard to deal with them every once in a while (whenever I go pick her up or she gets dropped off at my house), I can't image having to deal with it all day every day for over 20 years. And it sucks from my position because there's nothing really I can do to help her other than to show her what it's like for someone to actually love you and care about you

[@RafaelNelvam]

If you're wondering "am I a narcissist?", you most probably aren't. Real narcissists (usually) won't even wonder if they are the problem EDIT: "you most probably aren't" doesn't mean "you never are". DISCLAIMER: if you're still in doubt, look for professional help, just like the channel reccomends

[@1crazycity]

Oh shit 😂

[@Average_Dominos_Employee]

Oh- well thanks I guess 😂

[@potatowarrior747]

Thanks...I'm kalm now😂

[@catherinejoydoromal9079]

That's absolutely true. I once had a 2 year relationship with a narcissist. When i watched this video, he's literally the first person that popped into my head. He has said all these things to me and even tried to abuse me mentally and emotionally. When i tried talking sense to him and pointed out his mistakes, he turned the tables and never admitted his wrongdoings. He doesn't even realize it all. When i finally broke up with him, he tried apologizing like "I'm sorry if I made you cry. Idk what i did but I'm sorry I hurt you. I think I'll be depressed and do self-harm" Like what???

[@deepadcruz6483]

@@catherinejoydoromal9079 just tell him, "oh, if that helps u heal please." 😂 So proud of you that u took things in ur hand and came out of such a relationship.

[@harrypotter7652]

Thank you Psychtogo, these videos about what a narcissist, psychopath, sociopath, etc. would say have been very helpful for my writing!

[@kisakiin0102]

My ex was such a narcissist holy sh*t, he basically said everything that was on here... Tried to isolate me from my social circle, make me feel like I wasn't good enough for him, lash out on me for talking about his abuse with others, telling me I'll never find better, etc... Leaving him was the best decision of my entire life, my life and mental health was going to crash and burn by staying with him. He made me realize how important it is to stand your ground and affirm boundaries. I'm so glad I didn't end up moving in with him like I was planning too omg. To anyone reading this that is trying to break up with a narcissist DO IT. It's easy to get influenced by the good moments but what helped me was to write down every messed up thing he said or did to me. It really helped me look at the bigger picture and whenever I feel like I'm missing him I go back to that list to think logically again.

[@jpmiska2684]

The most important part of this video is realizing that while you might not be a narcissist to everyone, you might still target specific people in your life and lash out against them with these narcissistic tendencies. These videos are great and I've no doubt benefitted from them, but I feel that they often focus more on those around us instead of recognizing these harmful traits within ourselves.

[@jennysnook]

Very important comment.

[@supersucks]

finally someone said it. Not gonna lie sometimes im afraid if I Am the Narcissitic one...or if i give off traits like these when i dont mean to

[@theflipper404]

@@supersucks Fundamentally if you ever possibly consider that you are the narcissistic one you are not a narcissist. Full on Narcissists can’t admit that they have any character flaws, it is literally impossible for them. They also DEFINITELY will not admit they are a narcissist and they will never consider that they are. Any therapist will tell you the same thing. That is how severely mentally ill real narcissists are.

[@philipreiner9689]

@@theflipper404 But as the video says, "... many more people have narcissistic tendencies." It is fully possible to question whether or not you are a narcissist while behaving in a narcissistic way. Simply questioning whether or not you are a narcissist does not free you from the burden of rooting out your narcissistic tendencies for your personal development.

[@theflipper404]

@@philipreiner9689 I wasn't talking about people having Narcissistic tendencies (which almost everyone has to some extent albeit mild, some more severely than others obviously). I was talking about full on Narcissists (meaning they have a full blown personality disorder at that point). The person I was replying to was considering if they were actually the narcissistic one in their own life (this implies that at one point they must have felt that others around them are Narcissists, but are now doubting that and wondering if they are indeed the actual Narcissist and everyone else is not). A person who is a full blown Narcissist or hell even has severe Narcissistic tendencies, would ever consider that they are doing something wrong or are in the wrong, that fundamentally is not what Narcissists do. It is in fact more common that the people that question if they are Narcissist's are actually co-dependent people, which their traits have a lot of overlap with Narcissists and sometimes they even are Narcissistic to others while tying to appease their main abuser Narcissist every whim. Co-dependent people are very easily gaslit and completely taken advantage of by Narcissists. Narcissists are a co-dependent persons worst nightmare.

[@ChandniVlogs]

There are covert narcs that wont say any of this and would instead give silent treatment or use sarcasm at your expense so beware!!!

[@Psych2go]

That’s true. Do you know someone like that in your life?

[@ChandniVlogs]

@@Psych2go Yes an ex :(

[@wandapepper]

@@Psych2go yes! It would be also very helpful to dedicate some videos to covert narcissism! They can be even more dangerous than the "regular narcissist". It's so important to make people aware.

[@courtneyjames5495]

@@ChandniVlogs I feel for you. My ex did the same things. Never said anything "mean" so they never said anything like this, but instead gaslit me with "kindness." Made me feel like I was out of line or overreacting for having certain feelings, but of course they never used concrete confrontational words like "overreacting." They were always super careful to make sure that they came off as just being "nice." For the longest time I thought I was crazy...I was like they're nice to me but it feels fake and I had all these feelings cause I had been looking into what it means to be a narc out of having a hunch that they were....and everything kinda loosely fit about regular narcs but not quite...then I found out about covert narcs and I was like...omg...everything makes so much sense now. But I am glad you got out of it. Truly.

[@schr4pnel]

would they also guilt trip all the time?

[@mariahladun8004]

This is so accurate! And they accuse their PARTNER of doing these things as gaslighting. It is very heartbreaking and destructive.

[@QuintonDitmore]

I was raised with all of these repeated to me in many different scenarios. This was helpful to prevent me from second guessing the judgement I hold.

[@duchessofpotatoland]

SUMMARY 1. If you could have just one friend who would it be? 1:17 2. We don't need anyone else 1:43 3. You're always overreacting 2:09 4. Not everything's about you 2:39 5. Wow, no wonder nobody else likes you. 3:06 6. I always defend you to everyone else and this is how you repay me?! 3:29 7. You only succeeded because of my help 4:04 8. Don't let this get to your head. 4:24 9. I'm the best you'll ever have. 4:43 10. I'm only doing this because I love you. 5:09 Hope it helps. 🌼

[@jiminslostjams8810]

Thanks for it!

[@jiminslostjams8810]

These are all my sister's type. And then people ask me why don't I trust her💀

[@Psych2go]

Thanks for the summary!

[@imaqsa606]

Ty

[@THANATOS-PRIME]

My ex in a nutshell. 😑

[@Dethos]

#3 "You are overreacting!" Prime example of gaslighting.

[@horace6851]

sure, but sometimes people do overreact. Imaging that every word, every look is centered on them and have their criticism in mind. Narcissist with insecurities also exist and very often are megalomaniacs imaging that everyone is constantly talking abut them. That's why I don't like this video, not every narcissist is in the position of power.

[@limitlesspossibilities444]

@@horace6851 unless they are dealing with a more powerful narc I guess...

[@SweetBratz22]

Man My ex would say that all the time, I couldn’t even bring up things that I had concern about they would say I was the problem and I was always stated fights but so I stopping and silently suffered until they moved out. Oddly enough even tho they would always bash me they tried to pull me back in after all that pain, I just couldn’t let myself do through that again. If yall see red flags early please run and save yourself the pain. In the end sadly that person may have really had love for me, but if thats how they love, I dont want it. I had a really hard time letting them go, but once I did my life, emotions, and health got soooo much better.

[@Sinfulscents]

@@SweetBratz22 wow well I’m glad you had the strength to let Go! And hold onto yourself instead ♥️💯

[@DreamyWorld19]

"That never happened" or "I never said that". My father's favourites excuses when he did something wrong.

[@Alex_5963]

This video is good to recognise narcissists in your life or if your hurting others remember it’s never to late to change you just have to put in the work we all deserve love ❤

[@plumharle1798]

Made sense of my life in less than six minutes Thank you 💜

[@ietefiet]

When I finally stand up for myself: 'Wow, you're sassy all of a sudden.'

[@hmaroni9572]

Yup they can’t deal, but also people with low self esteem

[@Void_Dweller7]

“When I was your age I never talked back to my parents”

[@Strix_Nyctea]

@@Void_Dweller7 this one gave me flashbacks holy shit my dad said this alot

[@beezee6098]

Omg I actually lol.. I had a flashback and saw my exs face saying the exact same thing to me.. and I haven't even thought of him in 3years til, now!

[@nicolestarr1328]

"I don't need the attitude."

[@PumpkinLady11]

My narcissistic mother “No one will ever love you” She said this a lot to me as a child and teenager if I had a different opinion to her. It’s been a very difficult thing for me to erase from my mind and heal.

[@anneperry9014]

I know that feeling mate!! You're not alone 😉......

[@darnesiacochran7743]

Narcissists rob you off your quality of life. The best way to help your sanity and put an end to this manipulation turning into gaslighting is by seeking closure. For instance, when my husband started getting frequent night calls, I would ask and he would just wave off those calls as unimportant. At a time i could take no more of his lies, I decided l deserve to know what was going on. A friend of mine referred me to this sage hacker, cyberhackingsage who helped clone his phone without physically touching it. All I did was send his phone number to this sage hacker and through a remote link sent to my email, I was able to access all of his texts, mails, Facebook, Instagram chats, real-time call listening and his long deleted messages. He also helped me in checking if my phone is being hacked and secured all my numbers from unauthorized access. My husband was a cheating narcissist and I’m glad i found out all his secrets and infidelity. I'm finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help or you just crave that extra teeny bit of closure, I urge you get in touch with them via Gmail, cyberhackingsage@gmail. com or text and WhatsApp them on [phone]. Thank me later.

[@TorettoHuNGameplays]

Don't tell 'em... A FUCKING THING!

[@anishnaabehistorypodcast7215]

My mom literally told me repeatedly for years and years that I was "worthless." She's a bipolar alcoholic, but the damage has been done. I see these narcissistic tendencies in myself. It strains my marriage. But when I really have bad days, I dig deep and find faith. "Physician heal thyself!"

[@cornbreadbatter3157]

My mom told me the EXACT same thing

[@lahunshalyngkhoi766]

I never thought my husband would look down on me but after watching this he speak all this words to me not a single word left I think I should leave him... Thankyou for sharing.

[@vandanasr]

Thank you for breaking down point #6. I get that so much from my narcissistic spouse

[@pennypay1]

Is it strange that I really like the little sprouting-leaves thing on these characters' heads? To me it kind of symbolizes resilience, hope, and personal growth.

[@nerdynuronz2173]

Wow, I never thought of it that way!

[@leahwilson8982]

No I love them as well ❤️

[@T_Cup]

Nah, it's completely normal. I really relate to them, maybe because I feel that I too am a small and ever growing, ever changing being in a wild world.

[@teresaj.5550]

It could also mean your a latent gardener.. ❤️

[@davie7199]

I just like plants in general

[@valeriesparrow1072]

Not enough people talk about how it's so hard to cut off a relationship with a narcissist. After they make you feel terrible about yourself, you feel this unexplainable need to stick around so you can prove to them that you're not this monster that they've made you out to be. It takes some serious self esteem to put your foot down and cut ties, and on some level they know this, which is why they devote so much time to tearing you down. They NEED you to stay because you provide them with their narcissistic supply.

[@SchoolOfUnlearning3]

My life. 😢 My in-laws accused me and ran a huge hate campaign among my relatives and friends circle just because I’d like to mind my own business. They accused me of things. They lied about me to my husband. Then, i pledged to prove my goodness to them. I did everything. I changed myself for them. I quit my job when they asked just to say family is more important to me. (Indian arranged marriage setting). I don’t buy anything without their approval and my husband’s. I learnt cooking. In return, nothing changed. Each year it is getting worse. Then reality hit me so hard. So so hard.

[@msnxs23]

A few years ago I had a friend who was controlling and he didn't treat me well but everytime I was about to cut him off, he said he was sorry and that he didn't mean it and my mom said to not cut him off and forgive him for the thing he did and everytime I gave him another chance, he treated me the same and last year, I realized how toxic and much of an asshole he was so I started to cut him off slowly and the last time we met, I was cold and wasn't talking to him much and since that time, I haven't talked to him at all and that night my parents were angry at me for not behaving well at him that day and a while later, I told them why I was like this and a while after that, they realized that I was right for cutting him off

[@smg3250]

I dated someone who made me feel like if I didn't dress and act a certain way, I was making them look bad. Like an ugly accessory. And boy did I try my best, but it took such a toll on my anxiety that I developed health issues

[@ophelia7640]

I never felt the need to prove them anything as soon as I realized that they were even lying to themselves to convince them right. So I was like, no one not even themselves can prove them wrong or anything. Pointless.

[@tammybagwell1741]

Especially when it's parents

[@amandaleloup5316]

My grandmother came to mind with everything mentioned in this video. She has even gone as far as having someone track me down at my place of work to berate me, in front of God and everyone. And the worst part is, my now former workplace wouldn't do a thing about it, even though I had told them about it, before hand.

[@Bodacious_Crustacious]

As someone who's directly related to a Narcissist, I can confirm this is 100% accurate. He was so awful I had to cut ties with him. My brother just never changes for the better.

[@ThatDataLady]

I never ever thought my dad would change, I knew he was abusive. But the best thing I ever heard was “I don’t want them to change. Because if they changed now that would mean they were always capable of change, but I wasn’t worth it”

[@meadowyj]

I've been told MANY times when I was younger "not everything is about you" and it seriously took a toll on me, because I never ever thought everything was about me, and here I am, stuck worrying if I am the problem, beating myself up and putting myself down about it.

[@VengefulPolititron]

get therapist. wish I would have

[@userm180]

if u guys need to talk im here

[@sleepypersiangirl4823]

Absolutely!!!!! Same situation right now

[@carissahowell]

Same!

[@Mikexception]

@bunnykookie It may be the truth that we are not most important in world - they use this smartly. But they too are not "important" to have idea about someone's importance. Those I know they are simply dumb or dangerous. Thing is that while narcist says "you are not most important", for him his victim is most important in world Bad news for victim. Victim may create her/his importance for world every day in differet way then narcist is used to judge him , and that is the way to go out. Never try to fulfill his "unhappiness" - he chooses imposible ones or such which will make vistim more dependent like in a cage - example by taking credit to be "better recognized" by him . Or by earning in marriage bigger money which will make stronger ties. They will use every way to make escaper poorest by court or by outsmarting. They count on not letting free even after divorce . Before ecsape better not to have possesions which may be claimed by spouse. I was lucky that apparently my expensive car got fatal accident - would be not possible to pay half after divorce. She had no money ( daily statement) too. She even had no driving license - I was a family driver. Hopefully it was a wreck. I waited till divorce was done and with insurance she didn't know about, I took already my own only credit for new one .

[@daradoe9415]

True story: Years ago my sister was in a custody battle with her ex. They both hired psychiatric "experts" to testify that the other one was unfit to have custody. The expert my sister hired put in his report that my sister was a narcissist. She didn't know what that meant so she asked me. I told her and she says, "Oh, so it's a good thing then." BLEW MY MIND

[@priyahammond8532]

YES! My sister took a narcissistic test in her gifted class and she got the highest score. She came home and bragged about it to us.

[@hmaroni9572]

So what about the custody?

[@AJ-fb9en]

What happened with ur sisters custody case??

[@someonejohnson5774]

@@priyahammond8532 🤣🤣🤣

[@limitlesspossibilities444]

haha typical deluded narc

[@garrisonsmith8441]

There is a difference between self confidence and abuse. Also, I think there are alot of people with low self esteem that may see normal people as narcissistic.

[@tristan4175]

Not all narcissists are necessarily abusive, although some may be. Narcissism is a personality trait that involves a sense of self-importance, a preoccupation with one's own needs and desires, and a lack of empathy for others. Narcissistic traits can be present in a range of people, from those who exhibit only a few narcissistic tendencies to those who meet the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). While some people with narcissistic traits may be abusive or manipulative in their interactions with others, others may be able to maintain healthy relationships and engage in positive social interactions. It's important to note that abusive behavior is not caused by narcissism itself, but rather by a combination of factors such as an individual's upbringing, life experiences, and mental health status. It's also worth noting that not all abusive individuals have narcissistic personality traits, and not all narcissists engage in abusive behavior. It's important to evaluate behavior and actions on a case-by-case basis, rather than making sweeping generalizations based on a single trait. It’s important we approach this with caution and compassion, because narcissistic people are mentally ill and are gonna have a troubled thought process, neurotypical people should lead by example.

[@Overitall805]

I find it fascinating that the popularity of this term has increased exponentially in the last 20 years.

[@DJ-ts5uv]

My mom was my narc. I’ve put distance between us. My life is much more peaceful.

[@womenswarrior]

It feels so much better when you get away ❤️ check out this video kzbin.info/www/bejne/aKGxhWt8fMmSrsU

[@DJ-ts5uv]

@@vbf1228 it was a long, hard road. There were many arguments, horrible treatment and a lot of manipulation and I just got tired. I felt like it was a waste of my energy and it was destroying any chance at peace and self love. I drew hard lines in the sand and I stuck to them. It meant losing my relationship with my mom and my sister. Yes, it hurt and it was painful at first. I cried a lot, but I am so happy now. I am living life on my own terms and I love my life. A narcissist never ever changes their behavior and they don’t care about you or your well being. I realized that nothing I did could ever change my mom or the influence she had over my sister. I chose me and my happiness. I talk to my mom about once a month and my sister and I text occasionally, but we don’t have a strong family connection and I am finally okay with that. That burden is done and I am so grateful everyday that my life is tranquil and peaceful. Walking away was the best thing I ever did.

[@theadventuresofemily_]

Same

[@moonsyoungestsun6550]

@@DJ-ts5uv I'm so jealous of you. Every time I was on the verge of distancing myself (unfortunately, I live with her), some obstacle happened. The new house I was going to buy had construction stopped on it because of drainage issues........the whole street actually was shut down for an unspecified amount of time. An apartment I was going to rent went up by $600 right before I signed the lease because they suddenly had new owners. I couldn't afford it. Two more times, my jobs laid me off. Then covid happened and again, several units at the apt. complex closed because too many people had it. I know these obstacles keep happening for a reason because I believe in signs from the universe. However, I don't know why yet. All I know is that I want to feel the peace I had when I used to live on my own and it isn't happening fast enough, no matter how hard I try.

[@McRemmyBaby]

“You’ll never be happy”

[@deehall47sdadjokes]

I'm just SOOOO grateful there's no more narcissists in my life anymore. There's 5 of them I can think of from the past. I haven't seen them for years now and I'm just happy with that

[@bootonia1518]

i'm not really a narcissist, i moreso care for others around me rather than myself, but even i have asked the "if you could only have one friend, who would it be?" question before. it's a relatively simple one, i didn't ask it in hopes of them saying it was me cuz, well, i knew that wouldn't be the answer. rather i was just curious about who was his favorite.

[@halcyonistic]

i actually started crying the moment that the video brought up “you always make things about you” and “i always defend you to everyone else.” he never asked me questions about myself but i was always more than curious to know about him, even if i didn’t ask questions he’d just throw it out there. anytime i went to say something about me, all i got was “oh my.” the day that he trampled on my boundaries and the girl that he was flirting with told me what he did, i built up the courage to tell him that he hurt me, but he insisted that i should’ve gotten the facts from him first. on top of that, i kept saying that i’m hurt and he said “you make things all about yourself when i’m making it about us.” i forgave him, but then it got worse because the trust was already broken and i was retreating with every misstep he took. he then said that he showed his entire family about how i was speaking less and less via text (since i didn’t want to have another argument where he’d bash me), and he came back with “they all said that you’re cheating on me, but i defended you.“ he doesn’t even like half of his family, so why would he show our business to them? but, anyway. at least this makes me feel a little less isolated. thank you.

[@itsuhh_luskywalkerr9975]

My narcissistic ex said everything and acted this way exactly. If not I’m the one out of line, always humiliating or belittling me. Everything is about them never give in, I always had gut feelings but never listened to myself. If anyone is in a relationship and see this video I’m pretty sure it’s a clear sign that you’re trying to figure out who you’re really with. You can leave the relationship, you’re worthy, you deserve love, and happiness. You’re are enough, you’re beautiful/ handsome and there’s no one like you in the world that has your personality and your love to give. Don’t ever let someone tell you otherwise, you can drop people and gain ones who are worthy, just as worth as you are. Stay safe 2020 will be closing soon.

[@maraontop]

Hope you are ok and hopefully your ex changed his ways and gets help

[@jennasaisquoi5174]

I had a lingering gut feeling for months that I ignored about a guy. Always trust your gut 🤓

[@shawne1209]

Same here!! It took me two years to finally realize it. Pro tip- if you find yourself wondering or googling if it’s abuse.. it probably is

[@SonyaKhanOfficial]

Beautifully written!! I left a damaging relationship a few months ago and I feel so free now. We all deserve genuine love 💕

[@Anne-cs7mu]

same here.. I've been going through heartbreak for the past few months to realize this.. So frustrating when I can't see the end of that relationship and even end up blaming my ownself.. But, then I realized that it's not me but he is.. My fault is easily trusting someone, I accept that.. but no need to push all the blame to me because I know not everyone have the same heart as you.. Life and move forward because life is too short for regret

[@petej_2]

I dated a narcissistic girl 3 years ago and struggled with emotional abuse because of her. I’ve only found my way out now, still struggling but I’ve found a way out for the first time and now I feel a sense of release.

[@blankbear782]

Congrats man!! 👍👍

[@aliciavalensia5594]

I’m sorry you went through that but I’m so proud of you for finally leaving. Work on you. Love you. You’re amazing human.

[@julietrask7497]

Same here, verbal emotional abuse. It was horrid, I would be iced out for days because of a comment I made. Congrats Pete 👍🏻 survivors unite !

[@racafritz]

Stay strong! You are you and, they aren’t in your head manipulating anymore. Keep family and best friends close. Even if they haven’t been through it they love you and, only want the best for you.

[@Gbsn579]

The truth will set you free congrats

[@dustytrayl]

My first thought on number one was to pick myself!! ❤

[@jordoncoury7871]

I am married, with a 2 year old, to a narcissist. I grew up in a bad situation through childhood and that trauma has carried to this relationship. As The hardest thing is that she never sees any fault no matter her part in the situation. I’ve heard countless things i “deserved” to happen to me regardless of how good of a person i am. It’s hard, hoping one day she’ll have a realization and change her ways so we can continue to carry a successful life and marriage.

[@kpopfan11337]

She probably won't change. Narcissist doesn't change because they think they're superior compared to everyone else.

[@jiminslostjams8810]

My family friend is just exactly like this .she was a person I trusted the most , she knew more secrets than anyone 💀 When people ask me why don't I trust her now these are my reasons 🤧

[@julianacollins3550]

To be honest no one really deserves to be cheated upon and I believe smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 7 years cheating Narcissist husband through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his Call logs, Text messages, Whats-app, Facebook, Messenger, I-cloud, GPS location, Kik, Snap-chat, Instagram, Skype, Twitter, Email and Social media chat, i was able to read both his new and deleted messages without touching it. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Texas, USA and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this Genius tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via Whats-app [phone]. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth.

[@jiminslostjams8810]

@@julianacollins3550 I'm sorry to hear that☹️

[@clarasteuerwald2397]

same...

[@iceluvndiva21]

"great. Now I'm the bad guy" after a fight. This honestly says how they're "MADE" to be the bad guy without EVER owning the blame. NEVER let this get to you. This is a lie.

[@brilliantmistakes570]

my husband does this...

[@niyokathibodeaux2975]

My boyfriend says the same

[@myfarts]

Sounds like mother gothel

[@DBB2023]

mother gothel from the disney movie tangled loool

[@Tightrope-]

Damn why do i do this oof

[@allisonm.8497]

You couldn’t be anymore right in everything you have said in your video. My ex-boyfriend was definitely a narcissist and on top of all the narcissistic emotional abuse, he was also an alcoholic who was verbally and physically abusive also. Every single scenario you have presented in your video I have been through with him. And more. For years, I had no idea what or why he would even say some of those things for and in the beginning of our relationship, I didn’t even notice. Narcissists also have a way of getting you to fall madly in love with them in the beginning too, which blinds you of their subtle comments at first and then they get more and more and worse and worse. I also got constantly accused of sleeping with every other guy I talked to from a friend to even a store clerk I didn’t even know who was just being friendly. And of course I wasn’t. And the worst part of the isolation was when early on in our relationship when we were “in love” he talked me into moving over 800 miles away from my home and friends and family. And when I decided that I didn’t want to, he threatened me telling me that I would lose him forever. And I stupidly left with him anyway. It’s been 10 years and finally I have gotten him out of my life as permanently as I can. We have 9 year old twins together so unfortunately I have to maintain contact on some level but I do as minimally as possible. It has taken me over 2 years to get him out of my life and constant reminding him that I didn’t want to be with him anymore. And one more thing- after our breakup he constantly would just come over without calling or texting me first, so it has been impossible (up until recently) to date anyone else. And then there were his threats he would say, “I better not catch you with anyone else.” But now I could really care less because I realize that he couldn’t do anything to me that would hurt or embarrass me more than he already has in the past. I am no longer afraid of him and taking your power back and getting your confidence back is key to beating their game. Plus, once you experience and recognize how they think and operate, it gets easy to beat them at their own game and manipulate them before they can manipulate you. However, don’t become them -be able to recognize when it’s appropriate to use their tactics and only on them. Once I started being able to be like them, he kinda started to lose interest and actually started to notice and he even admitted how horribly he treated me and that he was sorry. However, after years of that same pattern I didn’t buy it. And I failed to mention that for the last 6 years, he refused to work and I’m partially disabled with a chronic illness that makes me an unreliable employee but still, I found work from home. He took everything he could from me including my energy and time and probably the better years of my life. Just being in his presence gave me headaches and completely drained my energy. And now that I’m rid of him, my health has even improved. Also, narcissists have a way of making you feel bad or guilty or even feel sorry for leaving them, even with very little words. But don’t. Never feel even the least bit bad or sorry for them because believe me, they don’t and have never felt bad or sorry for you. They don’t know how.

[@KAT-wo1js]

True!

[@poggy9548]

As someone with NPD I can say most with it are horrible people but not all of us. Dont stigmatize people who can’t help having a disorder but definitely shun manipulative behavior.

[@galaxylucia1898]

As someone who is single and is extremely selective of friends, I feel bad for anyone who gets gaslighted and suckered into relationships with these type of people. It sounds like hell on earth. Be good to yourselves everyone. You deserve true love and friendship and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

[@newpersonal3762]

It's absolutely hell on earth. I'm pretty sure I have PTSD and have had it for a while. I'm emotionally destroyed. She never apologizes no matter what she says or does. My sacrifices are rarely acknowledged and sometimes made fun of. I don't even feel fully myself anymore.

[@galaxylucia1898]

@@newpersonal3762 Wow. Sorry to hear that. Is this a family member you rely on for financial support due to health (or social reasons)? Because if not, you should just leave, go no-contact. -You only have this one lifetime… that person made it a living hell. Now it’s your turn to make your life a living heaven.

[@divya_sancheti04]

Same. I have also became picky while choosing friends..ig it's better that way..

[@crashofthemoons]

It is and I am still dealing with the trauma

[@shxyiin]

LOL i’m VERY particular with who i become friends with and the ONE time i let my guard down for just a bit, they end up being a narc🙄 never again!

[@angelapelletteri5479]

My mother is totally like this. She loves to say that she's done so much for me when she really hasn't done much of anything

[@jeffb.140]

Sounds like my mother .. She also forces "help" on me only to try to extort favors from this unwanted "help" later on.

[@dreamstorm947]

I'm 31 years old and my mom sill hangs over me that she "almost died" to give birth to me, as though I asked to be born or asked her to risk her life for me (she had a choice to have the docs focus on saving her or me and she said she picked me but luckily we both survived). And apparently letting your grown child live in your house while going to college and paying you 10% of their salary as rent is considered a huge deal. Like oh nice mom I know parents who don't charge their kids rent but kuddos to you for doing so i guess? (edit I moved out 6 months ago after she physically assaulted me for loving my fiance i'd been with for 10 years more than her. I dont live there anymore)

[@shakurwonders5216]

@@dreamstorm947 way to go I'm proud of you. I'm 21 and still with my mom, she toxic and has narcissistic tendencies just like u explained. I need to collect enough money to get out of this hell

[@asriel1575]

No offense, but you could possibly be ignorant due to being young. Maybe you should look beyond big things and look at the small stuff? I mean, she did give you a home and plate on your dinner table every day.

[@dreamstorm947]

@@asriel1575 Providing a home and food is legally required so kids don't get taken away. That doesn't mean the person isn't abusive or a bad parent. Bragging about providing the bare minimum so your kid doesn't die isn't good parenting.

[@Faisal-hi7ln]

I’ve had someone who always try to change the subject when I’m talking about cool stuff that i do or happened to me, they always remind me of how miserable i am, always telling me that they will help and we can do this together but it was only to isolate myself from others (while he kept getting closer with them) and the most narcissistic thing he did is when he kept pressuring me to answer questions about personal things and then started acting so mean and weird with me for not answering something that he shouldn’t have asked and really made me feel guilty for not letting him get his way. I’m so glad I blocked him and never talked to him ever again

[@lucascoppock]

I like how everyone is so quick to diagnose themselves with disorders like adhd or autism, anything that will get you a special seat in society, but no one freely admit to "negative" illnesses such as narcissism. I see that a lot on these videos, and in life in general.

[@thatblondartist1295]

Don't forget, "I'm sorry, but YOU..."

[@wendywhoisit1819]

In a lot of situations the fault is on both sides though and if only one is able to step back and apologise but the other isn't it sucks and it leads to nowhere.

[@ace_of_blades5046]

actually tho

[@24craash81]

i just cringed of flashbacks lol

[@potatotoes]

i don’t know why this wasn’t included, it’s definitely a popular one :(

[@kristen1856]

Always with the "but".

[@wtrfallofiya]

Once I let go of the narcissist in my life, I realized how much of the criticism they sent my way was projections of their own faults. I had learned to always doubt myself. Any amount of sacrifice on my part was never enough. Standing up for myself was construed as aggression, and their actual aggression was always justified in their mind.

[@newpersonal3762]

I keep telling my wife that the things she says to me are projection of how she feels about herself. She broke her hand punching me in the back a couple days ago. No apology. Yesterday she said I'm the most stupid man she ever meet. Today she said I'm not just stupid but more than stupid. Her nails made my arm bleed and when I told her, she said good and I hope you die. I reminded her tonight what she said and she said she means it. No apology.

[@wake_up_samurai77]

@@newpersonal3762 call the police on her and tell them what she did

[@CrabbyO]

@@newpersonal3762 Get out! I just left my narcissist because she was hitting me in the arm and the head while I was driving. When I let my right arm fly to block her blows, she got so upset (how dare I not let her continue to hit me) she jumped out of the moving vehicle! (only going 10-15mph, but still). Now she's alone and will get the staples removed from her head sometime soon. Some people are just toxic. Get out of that relationship ASAP.

[@userm180]

im so sorry for you guys. this is so toxic and u shouldnt have to deal with this. sending prayers ur way and if u need to talk im here

[@mnwilliams386]

Nail on the head!!!

[@deanr1018]

Met a very narcissistic person right when I realized my worth and that I am not dependent on anyone, they act really funny whenever I stand my ground. Boundaries and self worth are damn important when dealing with such people

[@Krisp138]

Lol love this word, it's for people who love to play victim and usually care too much or put someone ahead of themselves in a lot of situations.

[@DrLizListens]

This is a positive sign. You're right where you need to be. You are worthy. You are brilliant. You can set healthy boundaries. May all your worries wash away and you find pockets of peace throughout your day 💗 Dr. Liz

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for the reminder

[@Mia.S13]

I used to be like this, thankfully I changed for the better!

[@Psych2go]

Thanks for sharing! You're brave for admitting your own flaws, it's the first step to self-awareness. What advice do you recommend we can do to change these behaviors? :)

[@Mia.S13]

@@Psych2go Well actually it was a pretty depressing situation. This little girl came up to me (she was maybe like 6-7) and I was 9 and she said “All my friends said your really mean” and I said “Who are your friends” and then she told me who. They were the siblings of my ‘friends’. That’s when I found out that the people who I thought where my friends, didn’t actually like me. I decided I was gonna be a lot nicer and I changed a lot. Sometimes my narcissism comes out sometimes but my new friends tell me about it and let me know (like when I give out backhanded compliments by accident/not realising)

[@crisnoria3757]

Most mind melting thing for myself was accusing (silently) my father of being a narcissist - but as time passed, ive come to realize my "diagnosing" of someone else led to me spotting my own narcissistic tendencies. If you try and psychologize others, theres an unbelievable chance youre projecting - hell, even this statement might just be a projection. Point is, even if you think you're right about someone else, just assume youre not correct and only focus on finding the others' flaws in yourself. 9/10 chance that you exhibit the same qualities in different shapes though.

[@_shundra_3182]

As someone who's admittedly a bit overconfident and isn't afraid to give themselves praise for the right reasons, I get accused of being a narcissist alot. I try to use this video to remind myself that having a bit of an ego problem and being a full-blown narcissist are two very different things.

[@OfficialMannyMitchell]

thank you

[@southgoesnorthwest]

Feeling great and confident about who you are is good. As long as your not dragging others down ever and only lifting them up. If your hurting others it doesn't matter what you think of yourself because others will not like you.

[@erikagrey6999]

When I was a teenager I was always being accused of being a narcissist bc i didnt share the same teenage insecurities others were going through and i was confident in my skills and myself. It was so annoying bc how is being happy and not constantly tearing yourself down (as is much the norm amongst teenagers and social media) make me have a literal psychiatric personality disorder lol

[@_shundra_3182]

@@erikagrey6999 I had a similar problem in high school. Like bro, not having a habit of destructive self-loathing makes ME the one with an emotional disorder?😂

[@Fexghadi]

@@southgoesnorthwest Here's a bit of a rhetorical question for you: What if I'm not hurting others, but they are butthurt that they ran into someone better and perceive my help as a belittling act? I myself am very much aware of my strengths and weaknesses, and my insecurities lead me to dread helping others unless I have much more knowledge and/or skill than required to be in the "teaching" spot. And yet, because people are so fragile and egocentric, they will feel belittled EVEN when they are the ones asking for help. The current generation is breeding narcissists in my opinion, by removing the "right" to criticize anyone or anything, and excessive "positive discrimination". People are getting offended by the existence of words without context, but context is almost everything, and it only gets worse when those same people are getting validation. Soon we're going to be banning positive words because of possible sarcasm at this rate; take for example the "I am so smart" subreddit whose goal is clearly to shame idiots. Context is key. And sadly, as there is strength in numbers, we wonder why we feel like stuff is going downhill...

[@TheMusesOrg]

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you" My dads favourite saying, while in the same breath he undermines my self esteem, and stokes my anxieties by reminding me how scary the world is.

[@margomazzeo1680]

Same thing I went through..

[@ladybird491]

Did you abuse and disrespect them? If so then you deserved to hear it. Just cause someone say they statement doesn't make them a narc, you could be abusing them all while expecting them to take care of your. Kids can abuse their parents it's called parent abuse.

[@TheMusesOrg]

@@ladybird491 Did you not read the second part? Or do you believe that is acceptable behaviour by a parent? Probably, considering the kind of comment you feel is appropriate to leave in response to someone sharing a story about their trauma and abuse. You need to work on your ability to empathize.

[@jaeda6248]

I don't think he's wrong for reminding you how scary the world is. If he doesn't do this, then you won't be prepared for what the world has to offer when you finally leave his house at an older age. I don't feel like it's right for parents to completely sugarcoat how the world really is. Of course there are some things that children shouldn't know about but there's also a considerable amount that the kids should know. So that the kids don't grow up thinking the world would work however they want it to. These are just my thoughts though.

[@user-eo9to7wd2t]

@@jaeda6248 I don’t think it’s a good thing. My parents were always so scared of the world it ruined my childhood. I couldn’t go to sleepovers. When I was 17 they called the police on me because I wasn’t home directly after school so they thought somebody kidnapped me😐 My house was right next to the school. I got grounded every time I tried to visit a friend’s house even if they were my neighbor and my parents knew them for over a decade. They said that I would be molested if I stayed anywhere other than in our house. I couldn’t even join clubs because they thought the other kids would make me do drugs. I couldn’t go to concerts either. Parents shouldn’t teach you to fear everything about the world. I have severe anxiety now and my two other siblings are suffering with this too.