10 things to avoid in a relationship with ENFJ / ENFJ and relationships / MBTI

[@HallieEva]

I'm an enfj most of this is true for me but I don't expect much of people as far as friendships I know people are busy. However I have cut off family members for being narcissistic and inconsiderate. Blood means nothing actions are the only thing I care about.

[@everymomentisagift]

Same here. Went through a tbi and still healing and had very mean comments from extended family members. I decided to divorce them as my therapist recommended. They are furious with me a of course a smear campaign is on. Oh well I know the truth and my value 😌

[@heatherams2732]

Same!! I very much relate to what you are saying! I am a therapist and while I was getting my masters, I knew I needing to cut the toxic people out of my life for good before I started seeing patients during my internship. It was important to me to practice what I preach once I started conducting sessions with patients. The intuition part is correct (I know I am changing topics here). Almost all of my patients with at some point say, "How do you know that?! You are reading my mind!!" It's that ENFJ magical intuition! LOL! I can "know" things about my patients but never about the long standing relationships I have. I will give friends/family members a million chances to make things "right" with me and I will always externally forgive them, but be swathing inside and mental take notes and hold on to the hurt wishing I can speak up but never did. I really relate to what you said about family members and "blood meaning nothing, and actions are the only thing you care about". As painful as it was, I had to cut my best friend of 23 years out of my life as well as my brother. As an ENFJ, I struggled with cutting this both off completely. I had to turn to people who mattered and were healthy to focus my time on. It is really made a difference with my anxiety! I still have times when if I'm not busy doing something my mind will go thinking back to those two relationships and want to make a phone call but for some reason within the last several years I've been able to resist doing that by specific therapeutic interventions I now do with patients.

[@heatherams2732]

@@everymomentisagift I tell my patents they can divorce their friends/family as well! Its good to know I am not alone in this!!

[@everymomentisagift]

Thank you for sharing your story. I can really relate to thinking 🤔 oh I will give them a call to see how they are doing. But then I remind myself of my self worth, my values and my convictions and that the likelihood of them ever changing is next to 0. Not to mention, their lack of insight to ever apologize They don't get it and they never will. Happy Holidays!

[@fifisFia]

I struggle with my family as well.. but I don't want to cut ties with them

[@i.k.8743]

"ENFJs doesn't like procrastinators" here goes my hope to get an enfj bf Lol -INFP

[@anjoeautentico7861]

I'm INFP also and I have an enfj bf. It stressed him out when I'm procrastinating

[@i.k.8743]

@@anjoeautentico7861 That's really awesome! I mean having his as your bf that is. I had an enfj crush too but kinda missed my timing. He had this charm to the point I was so certain he might be my soulmate lol 😭

[@AbrahamLure]

I (ENFJ) always end up with INFPs somehow and, no shade, but I seriously resent tf out of unmotivated people in the long run. It drains my batteries and kills me inside to come home to someone without any passion or drive for life itself

[@IndianoChicaXD]

This was 100% spot on. As an ENFJ I related to every point.....people think of us as overly sensitive but really we put a lot of effort into all types of relationships and it hurts when people dont appreciate these efforts

[@ardent307]

Do you have any childhood trauma? I've been observing many enfjs have faced abused in childhood like me

[@purpleguy5274]

I'm ISFP in a relationship with ENFJ . Listening to this made me think that someone is stalking my darling as thats exactly her. Also to all ENFJ out there thank you for existing , its only thanks to you guys that me an ISFP can get motivated enough to do something from beginning to the end. People say that to move forward we all need just a little motivation. I can say that nothing motivates me more than my ENFJ , and it's not about being in a relationship with her, she started motivating me far sooner than I ever tought of any relationship with her. In my opinion you guys are the best personality type . Edit - if I could I would marry all of you regardless of gender thanks to the purity of your drive , but my ENFJ wouldn't like that , and I don't want to lose her, so sorry cannot do it even though it's tempting

[@mrgreenpants1371]

I am an ISFP too I strongly agree with thissss!!! ENFJ's are the besttt ❤❤❤

[@jkittz6372]

This is EXTREMELY accurate and a good reminder why I need to get out of my existing "relationship".

[@xnooraxxsnx4537]

So… how did it go?

[@naomidenisepinedaspirit-bo7955]

This is highly accurate but I am learning to meet deadlines myself LOL

[@personalitypsych3109]

Deadlines are sometimes very hard to meet :)

[@hisokadajoka6469]

This is me telling my bf and everyone my whole LIFE I am what I say I am no need to see me with open eyes when it’s my heart you have!!!

[@Bensaur]

I don't want to gatekeep what ENFJs do or don't do but I disagree with the first couple of points. 1 and 3. "ENFJs do not tolerate unreliability," and "ENFJs resent disloyalty." I don't think anyone likes unreliability or disloyalty. But if anyone is understanding or forgiving for someone's faults, it's an ENFJ. 2. "ENFJs can't stand liars." Things like 'fake behaviors' are not normally part of the ENFJ vocabulary. There's a reason for everything, so ENFJs will be the first ones that get to the bottom of someone's intentions for lying. Detecting body language and eye contact are part of introverted sensing, which is not in the ENFJ cognitive stack. ENFJs will only care about lying if someone else is getting hurt. (side note, ENFJs are the ones commonly attributed as being manipulative.)

[@AbrahamLure]

Are you an ENFJ? Because in the context of a romantic relationship, an unreliable partner is intolerable to me. I need someone secure to come home to.

[@meowthemmd]

Yeah this is me but sometimes people don't like to be judged I used to be judge people just to tell them I am true friend I'm telling you your problems so you can avoid but nowdays I don't do this much bcs sometimes people get hurt i just have my own high standards to myself I know many people but not many Friends ! beeing ENFJ is truly a gift

[@zephdo2971]

INFP here, I will devote my life for that special ENFJ that comes in the future

[@Maria_Svetlana8847]

Extreamly accurate very much even the hurtful stuff hurts alot as a scar that is huge from the littlest things. Procrastinators are a turn off and pet peeve of mine AFTER LIVING EITH A HOARDER MOM I HATE THE MESS SHE DOSE NOT CLEAN UP

[@jadehood6702]

This is exactly me

[@personalitypsych3109]

Glad to hear it resonated!

[@RetroXRicardo]

Great information on the MBTI. I found your channel through the KZbin algorithm today. Thanks for sharing! 🌟🌟🌟

[@Dani-jo9yr]

☝️💯✅😍yep so right 🙌🙌 Thank You 😊

[@personalitypsych3109]

Thank you so much for watching!

[@Phoenixmayya]

Wow, this describes me very well💛

[@rickydiaz2868]

You know things 😂 so accurate

[@RM-ti8nf]

How come my ENFJ was such a prick? He was everything that apparently ENFJ don't like.

[@NirmalKumar-jb6ki]

He wasn't an ENFJ

[@RM-ti8nf]

@@NirmalKumar-jb6ki he was, he did the test and fitted all the characteristics but was a proper shit. Why do you think it's impossible for him to be ENFJ?

[@personalitypsych3109]

There is no such thing as a good personality type and a bad one. Any person can be toxic, regardless of personality type. Sorry you had to go through the bad experience.

[@suzystevens3331]

A lot of times people taking the test answer with what they think sounds best not what is closest to them. I had my ex husband take the test & when the results came out ENFJ I was in disbelief. He was a serial cheater, liar, abused our dog, the list goes on & on. I know in my heart he did not take the test answering truthfully.

[@justanotherone9648]

a toxic ENFJ is BAD NEWS. stay away from as much as you can. sorry for the bad experience. I know how you feel.

[@HiralVaghela-cr8ng]

As a enfj all points are related to me except time deadline i think you are enfj

[@Psych2GoIndia]

💛

[@lisagodino1]

♥️

[@ashleyching5786]

Mandela & MLK

[@user-js4ep8xt6c]

Agree almost with everything…. Violent ENFJ😅🥹