13 Symptoms Self Abandonment - Healing Cptsd

[@somayehsheikhi7839]

I never knew that the self love was what I always needed in my life. Thanks a lot Michele❤️❤️

[@aliciatosh3365]

Watching this was like a punch in the gut and I had to remind myself to breathe....

[@Contessa998]

Same. It’s so hard. I can’t find any therapist by me who can help me through

[@sier5145]

I'm blown away that I've never heard these diagnoses before. I've approached doctors and psychologists many times.

[@prettyvacant3605]

I abandoned myself to try to get loved by my mother

[@Sasha-xt3jh]

Same

[@jowyschwarz313]

If you do that from childhood, i'm sure if now you already an adult did you always feel empty and something missing?

[@prettyvacant3605]

@@jowyschwarz313 sadly yes,I still have that empty spot

[@jowyschwarz313]

@@prettyvacant3605 damn! Yeah we are... I hope you find yourself again, and can fill that emptiness dude

[@prettyvacant3605]

@@jowyschwarz313 thanks! I wish you happiness =)

[@natlenan6743]

Had a bpd mom and Narc ex for 8 years. I've spent 10 years working on cptsd. This video is great! So simple and straight forward.

[@Contessa998]

Nat Kno I was wondering to myself why am I taking so long to get better, but your comment of 10 years made me feel better. Keep fighting I’m pretty sure I will be working on this until I die or until I commit suicide

[@MsBeachboxer]

Yes, I get very tired.. try so hard not to lose motivation. I HAD a life/Career etc that was 'good' until I hit my 50's & crashed. Repressed memories came up, then deaths & MORE Trauma. I feel frozen, but still go for whatever free/low-cost TI Therapy I can find. These videos help too

[@bradmcewen]

Doesn't hindsight literally shock you ? To get to a relationship by self degradation. To take a path that is circular with no end of compatability. To have the audacity to ignore what others see . To think this is the route to even a minimally reciprocity. Now the the sixth sense is situational awareness. The value, the lesson, ultimately....the gift.

[@creator2149]

the gift. yes.

[@GaveMeGrace1]

And staying in the cycle of self-degradation... although little by little reclaiming self respect to leave and be free.

[@Ame3thyst3]

I'm getting there, slowly but surely, thanks to you Michelle. : )

[@alexandreachislum216]

Wow i have been living like this for a long time since i was younger and beng watching is fun but i just realized i do this. Its hard to fix myself but your video is very helpful. Thank you so much

[@phoenixtd815]

Beautiful, clear and concise, not to mention extremely helpful for me.... thanks Michelle!!

[@rosaliedawn6535]

Thank you for this. It hit me like a train. I didn't realize how valid this was gonna be and wow.. I have all the symptoms and have never been informed of self abandonment. I thought I was just hard on myself..

[@bbdn5123]

Rosalie Dawn exactly the same here. I felt devastated after listening. It's as if she held a mirror in front of me. I'm still so hard in denial, never really took myself seriously. My subconscious says: "I'm not worth healing and I don't need grieving". I'm torn, I thought I started my healing journey just a few weeks back and now I just wanna dissappear again. Can't escape the reality of this video with its content...

[@rosaliedawn6535]

BB DN never give up.. it's hard to believe but it is worth healing. I've been healing for three years now and now I'm trying to help my daughter heal from the effects of her narcissistic father...

[@bbdn5123]

She deserves it! Thank you for ur kind words. However I'm facing hard after effects from childhood and abuse now resurfacing, I never acknowledged them and divorced from a narc not too long ago. Actually he divorced me. Cuz I was set to fight for my marriage. But due to hormone changes God gave me the strength to apply the grey rock method. During my marriage I never heard of it before. So it was as if he couldn't get to control me the way he wanted to and got tired of his toy, it didn't give him his ego boosts anymore... I'm just picking up pieces trying to make sense of it after a long period of ooh yes, escapism. I got the result last week from the Bruggs Meyers test I have INFJ T personality. This insight on myself helps.

[@rosaliedawn6535]

That's incredible. It takes a lot to get through accepting and healing from childhood abuse.. I wish you luck on your journey. Also add Trauma Recovery University to your KZbin subscription list. They are my other favorite channel for self healing from abuse. And they actually focus on so many different types of abuse they are well informed.

[@bbdn5123]

Thank God and thank you Rosalie! For ur time, help and generous words. I truly appreciate it 🌸 I will definitely subscribe to them. I'm sure it'll help me with this next phase 💖 Ooh man I feel bad cuz of the typo I made earlier. It should say Briggs-Meyers test. I wish you all well on ur journey 🐣 we're never truly alone in this. Peace🌟

[@corporaterobotslave400]

Here's to those of us who gave our parents' crappy attitude toward us the middle finger. Thank you for standing up for yourself. Now go teach others they can do the same. Peace.

[@m.j.2939]

Online shopping, drinking, eating and watching youtube and Facebook. To find community and friends looking for that fix of acceptance of validation of appreciation. Sadly the fix has worn off everything now, that's when you feel truly empty. The latest purchase doesn't give you a buzz and rush.....the feeling that you crave in your marriage. The heart dies.

[@randyfiore1311]

Ive lost so much of myself listening to people,its hard to stop the negative thoughts.ive done wrong my life but doesn't mean i should be a victum to other people s thoughts about it.ive learned to take time and let all that go.i tend to isolate if you would,but to me its my time to be myself and not deal with what people are thinking or saying.in the long run really i dont care of others peoples t houghts of me.I do find it hard to get threw my day dealing with narcs.inner peace is what im looking for ,not just when im alone but in everday life.i guess i attract people who look at me more than themselves.ill keep learning and living hopefully find a soulmate to share my life with. Thanks for reading.

[@patriciaclark1492]

You attract ppl who focus on you more than themselves you wrote. Do u think you self reflect and they can not ??..is what you are explaining?

[@JustynLang]

Wow! I hadn't realized that's what I was doing, but I have always done this. Both parents were narcs. My dad would tell me I showered too much/too long, exercise was a waste of time, sleeping was a waste of time... basically, taking decent care of myself was a waste of time- time I could have spent catering to his every whim.

[@Contessa998]

My narc dad Always made sure we looked beautiful I am female. I am very damaged. He caused me to have an eating disorder

[@kirf5x447]

Even though this is from 2018 I’ve just found it . I have been watching these and other videos on narc parents but I’m saddened that at 64 yrs old I’m seeing this as having led myself and other siblings down an unfulfilled life because of the damage incurred at such a young age. I’m thankful to realize that I’m not a bad person but angry at the possibilities that may have been now that I have recognized the damage . I never shed a tear when my mother passed I just felt relief, now the anger and sadness is left. The narcissist still controls from the grave my soul is mine though not hers

[@JesusLebtUndRettet]

My Main Thing is being met with Anger and Yelling when trying to establish Boundaries! working on that....against that! I will win and i must win, maeby not immediatelly, but when i do it will be permanently. However when i say Yes instead saying No its not bc i could not say no, i did many times and still will if i trully want to, but honestly oftentimes its not wort the stress. We have a saying where i live: "You are right, and i have my Peace." Sometimes its better to just give in, let the other have their Way and be left allone in Peace, instead arguing with someone where you know you can't win anyway, espec. if its not people who are all that important to you, like roommates etc.

[@janjudd7835]

Very Supportive. Thank You 🌸🌸

[@kathyrnmontalvo578]

Jan Judd yes im a yes person

[@erinwheeler6772]

Thank You for this video. I really need to work on this.

[@Lore-M-Ipsum-yew]

Michele, thank you. I've read Pete Walker's book 4 times and never was able to grasp the concept of self-abandonment. I totally get it now and it is such a powerful realization. Thank you, thank you. All the best. L.

[@KotobukiGirl]

I remember reading the book and hating it because he was still not healed after all that work. I felt hopeless. These videos are very insightful and helpful to me too.

[@fluffylegs8598]

Thank you for your hard work. You really are a power house of strength and I love hearing your videos, even if they are difficult to hear they are so validating. Hugs.

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

Doing the inner work to heal is not easy - but it is so worth it. If you feel you are now ready to help others and you feel passionate about becoming a life coach specializing in breaking through the side effects of cptsd and/or narcissistic abuse - be sure to check out my website: @t​

[@stopreportingmyplaylists6536]

i feel calm hearing this

[@chloerankin8262]

Thanks , Michelle I've listened to a lot of your channels and, it has opened my eyes to a lot of things that I can relate to so thank you for the education .xxxx

[@movadoband]

If I didn't use social media, I wouldn't have a social life at all.

[@zeevaloni3065]

You've saved me. Thanks.

[@veritasliberabitvos454]

Bing playing computer games / Netflix / etc. Yep can relate to this. It is like I let them suck the joy and life out of me.

[@Notyourmrs]

I was a late adoption and have a strong sense of self from my early childhood but still suffer massive issues due to being raised by a narcissistic mother from the age of 5 and knowing i wasn't going to be loved if i was myself. Daaaaaannng this is tough

[@sujuanmalone8120]

Thanks so much Michelle…you are light💜💕

[@larisabreedlove5102]

Im scared... I think I've abandoned myself for so long that I wont be able to find ME. Or maybe I'm scared of what I will find. Idk anymore. But I DO know that your videos are waking me up to the work I need to do and thank you for that. As daunting as it may seem, I know I MUST CONTINUE. And these videos give me the strength and insight to do so. 🙏💜

[@suzesinger6762]

Bless you, Michelle. X♡♡ I am finding..that the more Narcs. I rid myself of...I get up in a morning..I already have good positive intentions..on how n what I am going to try n achieve that day. And...at the end of that day..I thank God for guiding my thoughts and providing for me. 😊😇😉

[@robertbois7220]

Boom in the face! This video is not going to be easy for me to discard by saying oh no I'm not that kind of person, I'm making up again, I got issues but they are not these ones. Wow, Thank you for that one. I'm gonna work on it with a therapist. Leaving France to Canada very soon, they know about mptsd and so on. Healing journey ahead! Tuuuut Tuuuut! Thank you Michelle again you beautiful Lady!

[@gardenbee1238]

I've experienced a ton of self abandonment. I remember abandoning myself as a young child. I refused to go to school because I was waiting for my father to visit our home. He barely visited us or took me out after my parents broke up. I literally gave up on my education by skipping school because he wasn't around for months at a time to ask me about anything, so I decided it didn't matter. When I was a teenager aged 13 - 19, I self abandoned whenever I was with my friends. I put all the focus on listening to them and not on my inner experiences. I felt like I had somehow stopped growing up and disappeared into nothingness. As an adult, I've abandoned taking myself out and taking care of my body, hair, makeup etc. I think to myself "what's the point if no one's going to see me?" It's hard to do things for myself. I'm currently healing and repairing my relationship with myself. I was diagnosed with C-ptsd last year and now I'm focused on being present instead obsessing over other people.

[@zion367]

This was a great informative and nice video to listen to. Thank you❤

[@ruthferry7047]

This is spot on for me. I do try to do #5 every day. It does help, but I have to catch myself heading in a downward emotional tunnel. Thank you

[@sier5145]

I don't think my parents were narcissists however it's very possible my grandparents may have.

[@rationalmindriot7762]

yup....that's my mom...and dad was her right hand man when i stood up for myself as my manipulative golden child sister lied and smeared me...wow.

[@thecultofjohnnydelr.soulsw7010]

Someone at this new job today told me that I smelled, I had been neglecting myself, and also could not smell anything. That narc. abuser took everything from me.

[@patriciaclark1492]

Ignore the narc. Use humor and humiliation by agreeing with their lies..for example...." yes i am not Perfect like you" . Good luck.

[@yvonnethomas6401]

This has helped me enormously!..thank you so much Michelle......🙏

[@dickflinghammer58]

I was invisible. I learned later in life why I am the way I am. Then I would surpass any of my siblings to have the game changed. Anything not to have any light shine on me. I did start to see that pattern and would enjoy showing them up badly just to see the reaction of my mother and stepdad. They started isolating me from things they did ( various sports ect) to avoid this lol. The silver lining I learned to get good at things real quick but for me. Blows my mind they were jealous the whole time Wowsa!

[@anikajain571]

Very insightful and helpful, thank you💕

[@taraarrington2285]

You would think that your family would see the unbelievable amount of crap that you have been through and the fact that you're even still functioning and standing should impress most people but not those closest to you they will always find fault no matter what

[@subymanvince]

This speaks to my core! Thank you

[@obeyheart3667]

Thank you So much from your videos. 💖

[@aqua19542010]

You are awesome! 🌸

[@kaligator224]

Thank you for these videos. You've helped me so much so far and I've used these ideas and videos to help others. You're a bright light in a dark time and we thank you for that more than words can convey!

[@GaveMeGrace1]

Thank you- so many snap shot notes on this one... one month less to go.

[@LUCIAN8016]

I am that child 100%

[@bananaman3902]

how many people thought. wait, is that not normal?

[@Sunset553]

Be compassionate with yourself; reflect with the curiosity of a child...The whole problem with cptsd is that I don’t know how to do those things. I don’t know how to act like the parent I didn’t have or the child I never was. I’m writing this in case anyone recognizes in themselves that they don’t have the tools to do the steps you recommend. Becoming more self compassionate and being child like are things you could look for more info on or work with a therapist to do.

[@jstrada4483]

Thanks Michelle your the BEST 😊

[@dollpartz4u]

Why didn’t I find you much sooner? 😢

[@Musiklovr93]

ok i do all of this - i need help. what can i do?

[@Jolien_birbwhisperer]

"12 steps for self care" has been around for 2 years and I never once saw this before, or I don't remember.. I'm perplexed. I follow quiet a few people who support the idea of self care but this seems totally new to me. It could've been my fault. It could've been me seeing this passing by and thinking "nothing matters. Nothing works. I relapse to this horrible state of mind again and again, no matter how hard I try to get out of it. It's pointless. I feel numb anyway, I'm fine not feeling feelings." because that's been on my mind many, many times... But I relate to all of this. Well, it's back to basics... My personal basics recognizing this first: Number 1: I am currently doing my ultimate best to deal with my emotions. Number 2: I want to deal with my emotions even better and learn skills to do it better. Number 3: I have to do it better, put more effort into it and I have to be more motivated to change for the better. Number 4: I'm not completely to blame for all my problems, but I will have to solve them all by myself. Number 5: I'm not content with the way I deal with my emotions. Number 6: I need to learn new emotional coping skills and behavior in all relevant circumstances.

[@reneealex4146]

TRUTH amen

[@reallifehack3312]

My mother is a liar. She'll never admit to me that she sold me out. Once she knew I knew, she goes silent. There was no reaching out to cold hearted soul. The things I want from her is genuinely free.

[@sier5145]

Wow. Your blowing my mind

[@katiebooker7140]

Omgosh this video!!😭😭

[@name5876]

And some sick people make sport of using all these against you as if these were personality traits and you were lazy, careless, daydreamer, irresponsible, bad friend, ungrateful and it chases you back into dissociation. (I actually hear the judgings in my head with the voice of those who made those remarks as if it was a contantly rolling tape.) Not to mention when they steal your journal, your only safe place and way of healing and use it to shame and smear you. It's really hard to see yourself in a positive way when you're constantly attacked.

[@Sunset553]

There’s a lot of focus on having adult relationship with narcissist. My Cptsd is from abuse neglect and abandonment since birth. Is it really always about a narcissist?

[@Contessa998]

Mine is from birth too. Narcs for parents........both of them

[@NNuclearWinter]

This hit hard AF

[@stopreportingmyplaylists6536]

i was gonna pay a therapist dont need to now will watch all your videos then can go later

[@monikasmith5278]

You help me so much

[@Contessa998]

I do all the 12 steps of self care, And am still very very depressed. I hate my mother so much. Covert soulless narc

[@tripiehendrix1]

This is happening 2 me

[@nancyalywahby2784]

My brother actually told me to leave him

[@blrenx]

This has always been a conflict with me The way people see me is nothing like the way I see me. I get immediate respect and people are drawn to me..After years of not seeing old friends I can't tell you how many of their Wifes come up to me and say that He talks about you all the time.. all the fun things we did together. God I wish I could remember.. I wonder if was my lack of fear when it comes to others .. Like when in my 20's .. You know the drill ..Boys Go to the Bar looking for women .. then sit in a group and are too afraid to even say Hi.. then they look at me ..The most handsome challenged of the group.. were talkin elephant man challenged ,and say Bill go talk to them.. Approaching women was never a problem for me. No risk no fear.. I really wasn't looking to hook up.yet I was.. see the conflict? You talked about the 2 sides of the brain Logic & emotion . I could be %100 sure of 2 opposing facts depending on the situation .. That is proof I'm a huge liar .. But why? I don't need to.. Why have I always seen myself as different ?

[@Blossom702]

How come some become narcissists but others don’t?

[@creator2149]

Good stuff. 3 narcissists don't agree. lol.

[@briannaw.7226]

Well there is absolutely no benefit of saying yes. They're abusing me either way.

[@XXXoutlawXXX01]

It's been a year thought I was getting better ,now i feel like I'm starting over with the flashbacks and anxiety couldnt sleep last night .I'm finding I'm in control situations again becouse I dont make waves and yes I'm to agreeable I dont want anyone upset and yes I find myself excusing there behavior . Anyone feel this way are have any advice for putting what I'm learning into action. ????

[@themoonbleu627]

Sad

[@r011ing_thunder6]

can they control you by their moods?

[@chrish6001]

What is Cptsd?

[@homeslice2487]

Worse than Cancer.

[@ckay9006]

Amen 🙌

[@Grateful4life4time]

😢💔

[@karent3004]

💗

[@kathyrnmontalvo578]

My mother scillian telling bedtime stories abot murders of children

[@kathyrnmontalvo578]

Very tramatizing

[@WWZenaDo]

What a monster? Momster? I wish you could have looked her in the eye and told her a few stories about horrible mothers being burned to death.

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

Such people has to leave this planet.

[@kiz-ichooselovenotfear5106]

Omg 😔

[@jerrypociask2901]

Please stop with the narcissist definition...include Borderline !

[@JesusLebtUndRettet]

Still No! No! No! and No again! Narcs and BL are totally different and BL can easily be treated by ptsd and most of all behavioural therapy and oftentimes are, also BL are often Victims of Narcs which espec. of narc parents!!!!! BL feel too much and narcs allmost nothing or nothing. And also BL main Characteristic is they HURT THEMSELVES and narcs HURT OTHERS, Thats the big Difference....i get why people can mix up the two bc some of the reactions of BL seem similar but like i said BL feel too much which is so painfull they sometimes freak out, however again: they are often cured. So actually U are the one who should stop, real eyes you wrong by doing in depth research about BL and stop victim shaming, blaming and slamming by throwing them in the same basket as narcs....

[@natlenan6743]

Yes people with bpd hurt others the same way a narc does. Only difference is narcs have zero emotion and bpd are ALL emotion they can't control.

[@jerrypociask2901]

@@JesusLebtUndRettet nope go to BPDCentral.com the narcissist is a convenient diagnosis based upon ignorance. They are sooo similar the variants are very close.

[@JesusLebtUndRettet]

do u even listen to urself? NPD is a totally valid psychiatric diagnosis and has nothing to do with bpd which can much easier be cured, infact its narc parents who create BPD in innocent children!!!! i will not answer again, anyone with half a Brain can research these Facts for themselves. Also BPD Harm themselves and not others (at least not in 90% of the time, unless severe ....) and narcs harm allmost only others. @@jerrypociask2901

[@jerrypociask2901]

@@JesusLebtUndRettet as you wish