150 - Relationship Anarchy 101

[@sarahd632]

I'm RA and what I love about it is that the relationship with myself is just and valid and important as any other relationship I may form. How I feel and my own consent is the basis for every interaction. Being in a consent based relationship with myself and respecting the consent of other people has really made an impact on the people around me. Some people had never considered their own consent when in relationships with other people.

[@eidsongregory5795]

this is what I'm learning in 12 step; every relationship fails unless that core relationship is founded and structured, not to an extreme to degree, structured enough, though, for me to safely allow people in to collaborate and not handle me for me. I have to parent my own self, no can do it for me.

[@atalantak9205]

5:19 Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique 10:08 Love and respect instead of entitlement 15:46 Find your core set of relationship values 21:32 Heterosexism is rampant and out there, but don’t let fear lead you 32:46 Build for the lovely unexpected 38:04 Fake it til’ you make it 43:25 Trust is better 49:14 Change through communication 53:00 Customize your commitments

[@ilsensuarez6538]

OMGosh I loved the burst of laughter that erupted from the use of the word fart-ner. I would like to argue that you've reached a new high. I think it's important to be playful and silly and find joy in (semi immature) word play. Especially when talking about such heavy topics. Also laughter is contagious. I know it got me cracking up :D So thank you for that

[@michaelreynolds4268]

Haha I was right there with them, it totally broke me 💀🤣

[@simonm1233]

I just got introduced to RA and its great to hear the basics like this. Cause what I've been hearing is very muddled and not clear. Seems like lots of people wanted to add on and complicate something that was very simple and clear. Thank you

[@xenithsanguine]

Relationship Anarchist here (of about 6 years), with over 16 years experience with polyamory. At @26:50 regarding the "fartner" topic, I had noticed that in my own life that there is a deficit when it comes to language for sure. The word I came up with was my "fondleship" with my "fondlers". It's a similarly cheeky term that might be slightly less... offputting... Maybe. Those being people I am very fond of, and have a bond of fondness with. Yes there might be fondling going on, there might not be. It is what it is. My default is to call my partners/significant others my sweethearts. That change alone has reduced the amount of drama and stress in my life. Love the podcast and keep up the great work. Longtime fan.

[@JoshuaDb_The_Witness]

This was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you all so much. I'm deeply grateful I stumbled across this podcast. Thanks for the information, and the candor.

[@CrumbsBrulee]

Came here for RA, stayed for the great insights and expanded ideas on such a beautiful philosophy... Subscribed for the fart jokes.

[@kibbo86]

Gonna float the "farther" title to my current interest, see if she bites.

[@CorentinCrochemore]

Listening to you to help me come out to my parents ! I’m nervous about it but you’re helping me get the clearest I can with them when the big talk is gonna start. Love from France !

[@jessstevens9020]

lol that guys response to "compromise" around 14:00 is pretty dismissive of what both of the femme's garnered from the topic. Hi, hello, if you do not want to do a thing....you do not have to do the thing. RA is about knowing what you need in your life, and letting go of people who hold your autonomy hostage over the fear of "love lost." If you actually love someone, you won't demand change of them. You will love them for the wild thing they are. And if you desire to change them, then you haven't been introspective enough to know what YOUR needs are and to know that the connection is not healthy for you.

[@porscheamartin]

This!! I was going to comment that he completely missed it.

[@normandy2501]

My only problem is when people take that and put holding someone accountable in the same category as forcing change. Sometimes, everything about you just isn't conducive to any type of relationship period. If calling them out on their more objectively toxic behaviors means ww3, then they're the problem.

[@Jesslee222]

You guys are making history wow.

[@goddess_why]

just stumbled apon this and

[@gaiaguidanceworkshops3199]

First off loving this podcast so much :) It's incredible to have words to the jumbled thoughts in my head about all these things. You all present your thoughts beautifully and its helped me feel very understood Also in regards to core values or core beliefs, I think it's important to figure out what those are and then take a long look at them for yourself and maybe even try to challenge them yourself to decipher if they truly are what you believe now and feel is right for you now or if potentially they are left over thoughts/values/beliefs from elsewhere e.g friends/family/media/society. For example maybe you have a core belief/value that partnerships should include daily contact through text, call or in person but the longer you look at it you realize it isn't really something you truly believe, it's just something you watched depicted in a lot of media throughout your life, or that's just what your parent told you once :)

[@rohm9074]

Wonderful topic! Here's the link to the document for the google-challenged among us: theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy

[@mikevieira8583]

I use the word fartner as often as possible. Love you all.

[@Jess-xl1wd]

Such a great video. ❤

[@bradleynickelson4004]

I don't know if you guys have already done this but I would personally find it helpful if you could share some of your boundaries or a guide to helping figure out what our/my own boundaries are.

[@martelldave7169]

Y'all videos deserve more veiws 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😘😘😘

[@LadyFluka]

Emily sometimes says "yea" with a little "n" at the start and it sounds like "nyea", it sounds kinda cute lol

[@JoshuaDb_The_Witness]

New here.. and yeah, respectfully, it's super adorable...

[@aaronrobinson8394]

This was very helpful thank you ! I’m quite confused right now. I must say and no disrespect but the guy seems to misunderstand the point on compromise

[@rachelgeorge2098]

Callie Torres on Grey’s Anatomy was bisexual. Last Man On Earth had a character that dated two people, hinge style. Chandler dated a poly woman on Friends.

[@sam-i-am96]

I've been listening to them on Spotify and I had no idea what they looked like until now 😯😯 you're all so cute.

[@rachelcluney1014]

You guys are amazing.

[@noir6819]

Y'all mentioned the movies episode. Which episode number is that?

[@Multiamory]

It's episode 133. On our website we actually have a pretty awesome search feature on the homepage that will search episodes and blog posts by title, description, and even the contents of the transcript. www.Multiamory.com

[@Delfigiuntini]

FARTNERS YES!

[@eidsongregory5795]

FARTNERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!

[@eidsongregory5795]

FARTNERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!

[@TheHonestPeanut]

The body language in the thumbnail lol

[@rohm9074]

I'm going to be a fartner! :)

[@yenni7363]

That Eartha Kitt video yes! kzbin.info/www/bejne/qJ24m3uraK2SgpY

[@judeddd5536]

body language.

[@sarahmjfan]

The mansplaning is heavy in this video and the guy takes too much space

[@eidsongregory5795]

>^..^

[@thesaltybeard1793]

I'm through just over half this video and idk wtf you're talking about? I didn't hear him condescending at all to these women and he didn't take up more time than you'd expect one in three people on a podcast to take up lmao

[@sarahmjfan]

@@thesaltybeard1793 it's been 5 years ago. i have no idea lol