#166

This was originally a Patreon episode Tim decided to release as a regular episode. Tim tells wild stories about fat raccoons, defending George Bush while coked up, and talks Chelsea Handler's new documentary on Netflix.
On the porch with Tim is the Brain Jail podcast (Ben, Jace and Kevin). Subscribe here: podcasts.apple...
Patreon for bonus episodes: / thetimdillonshow
Please Support Our Sponsors:
If you need someone to talk to after listening to this podcast, check out www.betterhelp.... for 10% off your service!
If you go to monday.com/tim, they are going to give you a free 14 day trial.
Follow the show:
Tim J Dillon - / timjdillon
Ben Avery - / morpheusquotes
Jace Avery - / jaceavery
Kevin Tienken - / kevintienken

[@aleksandrfilimonov7429]

Only podcast that I rewatch episodes of. Tim is just funny.

[@tech1238]

I like picking random episodes and rewatching them 👌

[@paulfroelich1024]

Rewatch? This is audio-only, duh

[@jamesthomas9619]

Ymh is excellent too. I like to balance out all of the "the world is burning" content with more lighthearted stuff sometimes lol

[@B1055BH]

@@X_w45ey89 nobody will ever beat Norm Macdonald and the MANGRATE

[@thexneo]

same

[@BlazRa]

This is the perfect thing to listen to while I go lay down for a couple hours because I ate a bunch of spaghetti

[@mattl6459]

Same

[@yeedbottomtext7563]

Just destroyed a bunch of gas station chicken, jalapeño poppers, and potato wedges. Laid down to let it pass and then read this comment. We are all where we need to be

[@Chris-ro7mn]

Woke up 3 minutes ago, rolling a joint trying to read your comments.

[@B1055BH]

@@yeedbottomtext7563 how was the morning after

[@davidec.4021]

Incredible comment chain

[@subscriberfase123]

1:10:18 is the "you're a disgrace" part of the podcast. made me laugh so hard i almost crashed driving drunk.

[@gryphonlucas5759]

Tim is a national treasure. No doubt about it.

[@OneEyedDrummerTDHE]

Imagine tim as the president dressing up as Kim Jong waving a knife in the air.

[@nickcitron2369]

I could see that...I want to see that.........We NEED to see that!!!

[@ether725]

He must be protected at all costs. 🤣

[@thegreatawknin8872]

He’s fucking awesome lol 😂

[@shustyrackleford_710]

Hes a national treasure and this comment is original

[@Dudemanbro1577]

You might actually be my first person I support on Patreon. You're worth every penny man.

[@binky1135]

100%

[@BradVicious]

Please tell me you are member now

[@williamwaubanascum6515]

I became a member about 3 months ago.. and it's worth it

[@timhorton7799]

Yeah he was my first Patreon subscription

[@jayc3631]

. I told myself I would never subscribe for someone’s Onlyfans or Patreon and look who won.

[@ThyAsianMan]

Better Help must do a worse job at screening their ads than they do their counselors. Can’t believe he’s still getting paid after that last ad. Timmy is a legend.

[@colin8663]

His ad for better help cured my depression faster than any counselor could.

[@noahharju]

Legend And so true👆

[@momtyers1830]

STILL ADVERTISES FOR THEM

[@nagsterthegangster]

Maybe its not the delivery they're banking on but the sheer mass volume of mental illness in this audience! lmao. Gotta admit they hit the nail on the head for demographics on that one! lol

[@kianadyson]

Betterhelp.....I actually had a wonderful experience via their counselor.

[@ihavelilt]

that ad for mybookie was awesome, like he said everything he possibly could to trigger a gambling addict. what a master salesman.

[@EpsteinDidntKillHimself.]

It triggered me and I’m only an occasional gambler lol

[@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679]

@@r0ckn3gg4s9 recovering addicts know addicts. Lolz.

[@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679]

Sorry posted that to the wrong person. Must be tired.

[@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679]

Recovering addicts know addicts. Lolz.

[@James-ip5gz]

Bears actually won over the Redskins 31-15

[@eskimointhisworld]

"Like in a consensual way?" "That word is so loaded." LOLOL

[@aweinblatt6]

Guess I'm one of the rare women listening to his podcast...LOVE him !!

[@CH-ml4rz]

Could u talk a little abt ur experience in jail?

[@CH-ml4rz]

Heo Price im not a woman listening to Tim. So no.

[@TheKyley100]

You’re very special congratulations

[@sallysue8176]

@@CH-ml4rz prison

[@danielasuriol7557]

im a female as welll

[@wingnutpizzapunx]

"What'd ya eat? 30 whole chickens?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jamesfittro1893]

The only podcast with Jace and tim what a time to be alive

[@juicerversion1236]

was there a patreon jace + tim? i can't remember - i stopped paying for that garbage

[@edwardchowanes7716]

2.5 hour episode now that’s what’s up!

[@nickcitron2369]

Fuckin A!!!!!!!

[@RandomYouTubeNameAgain]

2.45 hours

[@anon667]

Quickly becoming my favourite comedian/podcast ever 😁 Keep going hard Tim, you’re a legend

[@nickcitron2369]

Me agree, too. He da best!!!!

[@nmeyers92]

SAME! Tim has been my favorite comedian this whole past year. SOOO glad he is blowing up very quickly. He totally deserves it, his podcast is fantastic. Very unique, intelligent, and dark sense of humor. He can riff off of anything and does GREAT on other people’s podcasts as a guest as well.

[@B-RaDD]

Honestly Chris Delia was my favorite podcast but Tim may have bumped him. He's a genius, comedically, mentally, physically, and spiritually

[@charlieinthebox9167]

This podcast saves my life atleast once a month.

[@moonlit6311]

Honestly, I have never laughed so much at a podcast, live comedy set- anything else until I heard this episode. Man!

[@brencelt]

Even for Dillon this was amazing. Likable gang also

[@MsCygnusX1]

@@brencelt Absolutely!☕

[@mr.hostetter855]

I'm no doctor but I'd say that a lot of the reason Chelsea hates white men is because she is slowly turning into Val Kilmer.

[@blindthrall]

Pretty sure she hates men because she lacks a penis.

[@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679]

@@blindthrall Are you saying shes jealous?

[@cdavid469]

"slowly"

[@eevenz]

Best part of my week big papa.

[@Plotte]

I am a woman who can’t get enough of Tim Dillon; highly educated and on a “higher vibrational plane.” Tim is The Truth (sorry Joe List)

[@CH-ml4rz]

Can u talk abt ur prison experience?

[@milesbeler3974]

Are you a demon from hell?

[@jimbo5071]

@@CH-ml4rz holy fuck

[@travisstroodle2170]

@@jimbo5071 spot on tho. Lesbians whove been in prison is tims demographic

[@theoneandonly7019]

can we get married?

[@T.I.M.Thirteen]

Legitimately covered my mouth in pure shock at least three times during this one. Only half-way through.

[@nickcitron2369]

That's definitely a good sign!!!

[@B-RaDD]

😂🤣😂🤣🤣

[@Gh0stdawg70]

NORMIE!!

[@benjamingentile1660]

As a Patreon member I’m disgusted by the socialistic sharing of this excellent podcast. HOW DARE YOU FREELOADERS LAUGH AT IT!

[@ethan4845]

Blake Timmons it’s a joke

[@BlakeTimmonsArt]

Ethan so was mine dummy

[@JimmyTurner]

@@BlakeTimmonsArt so why did you delete your first reply?

[@BlakeTimmonsArt]

@@JimmyTurner not sure it was a year ago. My guess was I was embarrassed to misread the room

[@binky1135]

AOC 2024

[@highg5088]

Thank you Tim Dillion

[@yoitshannond]

Binging all of these. My brain is melting but I’ve also laughed so hard the past couple of days I don’t even care.

[@benjamespaulk5978]

Hi Shannon

[@tylo8328]

Ben talkin bout bumping 36 and drunk driving. Classic.

[@ScoundrelSFB]

The part where he and his friend get to the house high as shit, and get talked down to death by the mom and dad kills me every fucking time.

[@sirg-had8821]

You're a disgrace

[@alexmcmillan945]

This is by far his best episode ever. I've never listened to an podcast episode more than twice before until this one here.

[@therealwilfreddierkes9980]

Brownie Boat and How to be Popular.

[@mephstv]

Look forward to the show every Saturday

[@justinreilly1]

I love Bens brothers laugh even more than Bens squirming laughter! Need him on the show regularly!

[@austinhockey11]

I miss this Tim Dillon

[@allfalledout8686]

The ads are fantastic, make a Tim Dillon's Ads channel please.

[@paraskeeths9472]

That's a brilliant idea!

[@GhostsonAcid]

That's fucking retarded. Dude, this guy was a coke-addict at 13, and sold printers to clueless interns. Is Tim REALLY the kind of guy you should trust to buy shit from? I love him, by the way. But do you think he's being honest when he's trying to sell anybody anything?

[@chrisnuisance7213]

@@GhostsonAcid A little fake business

[@captainLoknar]

@@chrisnuisance7213 fake business is what keeps America rolling. Are you saying you hate AMERICAN CAPITALISM @GhostsonAcid ?

[@doobieblaze1628]

The Tim Dillon Movie opening scene is, camping with uncle Steve and realizing "Maybe one day I'll rant about war criminals" ✌️❤️

[@jplove9810]

my fave podcast of yours. its the only podcast i dont skip ads

[@ushinofun6362]

No one does the ads like Tim

[@GodsNode]

Stoic Nihilism coming at you hard and fast, here it goes.

[@ronniehall360]

just spent an hour reading into stoicism vs nihilism

[@GodsNode]

@@ronniehall360 it's way funnier when Tim does it. It's very useful but kind of depressing on the NIHILISM part.

[@captainLoknar]

@@GodsNode the first step for recovery is acceptance so Nihilism is the way of happiness to me, if you're mentally unable to live in a californicated delusion bubble

[@kyleadams6925]

If I was the founder of better help, or the CEO or something, I would push to give Tim a raise for those ad read skills 😂

[@omerocampos969]

“Hey I feel like everything’s really bad and I just don’t know, I don’t wanna fight through it anymore and I just wanna end it. And I want to let you know that Tim Dillon sent me” 😂😂😂

[@bethannesperring872]

I'm done with Jimmy Dore, Graham Ellwood, and Ron Placone. Tim Dillon is the G.O.A.T.

[@MsCygnusX1]

Jimmy Dore is THE most annoying dude. Not my speed. Tim Dillon is a magical beast!!!

[@moderatemexicanamericanpat4904]

@@MsCygnusX1 jimmy is a fraud

[@intuidevsolutions3229]

i think jimmy is all right guy but he just acts pissed and says basic shit the whole time

[@yodythewoadie]

Brain Jail was THE greater podcast of all time to this day. Tim, Ben, Jace, and Kevin, really need to collab much much more.

[@dp9362]

I like the video pod better, but I'll make do with this

[@BostonBlues]

Especially when he does it naked from his bed

[@dp9362]

@@BostonBlues exactly

[@niceuru]

this episode was incredible.

[@francdollar163]

I love how Tim completely fucks everything up for the first 5 mins basically and then tells everyone to pay for it because the Patreon episodes are better and “on point”. Also at 8:00 that’s a brilliant unintended insinuation that Ben has a high school shooter mindset.

[@redraven117]

It’s a real thing I made it up myself -Tim Dillon

[@michaeljoseph2827]

I can already see a series of these Netflix specials, "Hi Gun Control, It's Me Chelsea", "Hi Childhood Vaccines, It's Me Chelsea", ect.

[@captianxanax]

hello explosive diarrhea it is me Chelsea handler

[@andrewlaco1776]

Netflix: Fuck, abort, wash, repeat

[@Icepick602]

"disneyworld for chainsmoking amuptees" is poetry

[@shustyrackleford_710]

Ive only had a few legit smiles today, and 1:08:02 actually made me laugh Thanks tim!

[@markdylanellsworth6413]

Billy?

[@J.D.Shelnutt]

I had to pause the show over this. I kept thinking oh hes not going there.

[@shustyrackleford_710]

@@markdylanellsworth6413 mark?

[@alecMh999]

This is the best one a couple sounding boards makes Tim go along way

[@TheFleetfingers]

Whenever he screams “for CHRIST!” I just picture Tim listening to Alec Baldwin berate him about being a shitty salesman in a shitty open office, and I smile.

[@prometheus3864]

This is one of the best episodes he’s ever made

[@11cacoo]

tim dillon ads should be on national television during superbowl

[@jeffreykamberos7524]

"My interest is, my one hobby is, maintaining a democracy. If you get these 500,000 soldiers advocating anything smelling of Fascism, I am going to get 500,000 more and lick the hell out of you, and we will have a real war right at home." - Major General Smedley Darlington Butler's reply to Gerald MacGuire, after being asked to organize WWI veterans for military support in a fascist-coup of FDR, as related by Butler in testimony before Congress, 1934. MacGuire said, "We might go along with Roosevelt and then do with him what Mussolini did with the King of Italy.", which was, made him a figure-head. "I spent 33 years and four months in active military service and during that period I spent most of my time as a high class muscle man for Big Business, for Wall Street and the bankers. I helped make Mexico and especially Tampico safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street. I helped purify Nicaragua for the International Banking House of Brown Brothers in 1902-1912. I brought light to the Dominican Republic for the American sugar interests in 1916. I helped make Honduras right for the American fruit companies in 1903. In China in 1927 I helped see to it that Standard Oil went on its way unmolested. Looking back on it, I might have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents. And during that period, I spent most of my time being a high class muscle-man for Big Business, for Wall Street and for the Bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism." - Major General Smedley Darlington Butler, "War Is A Racket"

[@catcrapinahat]

Absolutely insane.

[@impermanencenoself5965]

Tim Dillon is the soundtrack to our ...... WUHAN ...... post-COVID-19 life!........WUHAN!!

[@paulfroelich1024]

Is it a bioweapon/Maybe/But stop you're fuckin schleppin

[@SFpurphaze]

29:47 holy shit i almost passed out lmao

[@JayFreezy86]

Such a fucking great episode. They cover so much ground.

[@brianlewis1372]

I miss when they were all still friends.

[@7mgte490]

15:58 Yo that's David Letterman,, wtf. That's David Letterman with no sleeves on his shirt 😆😆🤣

[@Michael-ld2np]

this might be my favorite episode yet

[@EspireMike]

I'm forever listening to the archives, searching for Tim's best better health ad read. This one's in the top 10!

[@MultiBluedog123]

I wish he still did ad reads like this man smh up untill a couple years ago they were one of the best parts of the show

[@Molloy1951]

“I know that people are stupid but you need to show a little of respect when you are taking their money…” 😂

[@SpinachTea]

This episode is really something special. You are the 🐐

[@nagsterthegangster]

around 1:05:00 when tims talkin about his music tastes: man he has awesome taste in music! Literally just listin bangers!

[@customerguy8581]

Yeah wtf, blew my mind. Didn't know he was into dank stuff like Nas. He and I listened to a lot of the same shit which makes a lot of sense as to why I like him so much.

[@nagsterthegangster]

@@customerguy8581 Maybe it even has some say on WHY we have commonalities in our thinking patterns. Hip-hop and Black Comedy (Chappelle show, specifically) gave me this contrast as a kid that I wasn't directly exposed to in anyway. Although it never took precedence in my mind until later years, the irony that Dave often featured in his skits was an opening on how IF I was black, I might see things. And with hip-hop just often depicting a rugged lifestyle that requires additional effort to escape from: I believe were compounding efforts which now lead me to find my own conclusions rather than spew public rhetoric as my own opinion. If my opinion IS public rhetoric, it's because I found my way there through the logic and reasoning that makes the most sense to me, not because i'm parroting things for brownie points within a community. But Tim's just a total dude, I don't know how else to say it. I think its also the dynamic that because he is openly homosexual that he can use ideologies that normally would be used by racists in the wrong way, to spin an actual legitimate directive on a situation FROM a gay persons stance. Which allows him to say some outrageous shit without repercussions because the idea would be that if you took issue with it: the joke went over your head, as he is speaking from within a marginalized community. Then that even takes on a life of its own as he has this viewpoint of a real life person who doesn't want to be marginalized further, but the same talking points are funny from a "denial" point of view. Like you can and will hear him say shit like: "I think Mike Pence was *right* and we should shock the gay outta em!" and shit like that: where again the idea is that if you took offence, you didn't get the joke. Sorry to babble on like babylon, guess your comment was just thought provoking. Glad you got dope music taste too! :D

[@rushkovski]

this may be one of the best overall episodes he ever did

[@austinwakefield601]

8:50 “Oh like in a consensual way?” “…………… that word is so loaded…”

[@ChilsonTV]

Everything Tim describes points to what's called a "coordination problem" in game theory. We can easily defeat the lizard people if we can coordinate our behavior, but there's no mechanism to do so. Also I'm gay with my dad.

[@michaelmarshall8041]

This comment has confused me more than any in recent memory

[@slawdogtrillionaire9508]

@@michaelmarshall8041 🤣

[@dharmicshaman9519]

It's sad, removing that mechanism by controlling the modes of communication and the false left right dichotomy was the most effective thing they could have done.

[@theoneandonly7019]

@@dharmicshaman9519 you wish you were gay w your dad

[@lebumjames1373]

@@dharmicshaman95194 years later and we're still in the same spot lmao. it's sad to say but this country is cooked.

[@Maizyspringer]

It was clear from the first 30 seconds this was going to be a great 2 and a half hours

[@jamesslaton8696]

Welcome to the InfoWars podcast! Hahahah! Dying laughing here!

[@eskimointhisworld]

That ad for MyBookie is absolute gold 46:55 😂😂🤣

[@oakridge5905]

Great stuff. HBO succession and barry are some of my favorites as well, love your podcast, keep it up!

[@clampo845]

Both shows had their finales same day bummed that they’re over 😔

[@zugzwang742]

Tim Dillon singing The Starting Line completed my existence.

[@DeSoulTV]

Bruh I started crying during that CBD ad

[@grantk330]

One of the best episodes ever

[@korbindallas8224]

A travel vlog with you is such a great idea. I'd watch the shit out of that. You're great with just a mic, but man, add in all that external stimuli and you'd be unstoppable.

[@danielasuriol7557]

You give me life. I fucking love you. Since I realized that you're the best, I require your voice in the background while I do just about anything. Number von!!!

[@PETAGRIFFIN27187]

Tim u are hilarious.. took me too long to find out about u.. the depth and weight to your knowledge on every issue and angle is one off… i am binging all your podcasts and want to come see u live… u even knew about rasta baty boy homophone culture .. i mean name an issue w this guy… keep it up

[@Merrberry95]

One of his best episodes

[@martiansarepunk]

It's sad that Tim's comedy is a call to mankind to stand before the black pill and mankind fails to understand the call.

[@anthonydouglas1240]

Did I just hear Tim say he listened to Dipset and LOX??! No wonder he's my favorite Podcaster lol

[@alexmomberger1403]

Best podcast episode ever

[@GG_11_11]

On paper, everything about me suggests I should have no intrest in Tim's content or would be offended. The complete opposite is true, I love Tim's podcasts. I'm doubled over laughing and so happy to find someone with common sense.

[@GG_11_11]

@@BadaBing_3 Return to your mother's basement you three-hoofed moron, your Ramen noodles and hand lotion wait your return. Now, that's some good common sense ✌

[@JimmyTurner]

On paper? What kind of horrible person are you to think you're the type of person who shouldn't like this content?

[@GG_11_11]

@@JimmyTurner the kind that Tim doesn't like, but I 💗 him

[@josedotelhado4806]

This is the best podcast ever. I just listened to it for the 3rd time, at least. Tim for life.

[@jamesmurphy8530]

Funniest podcast episode of all time yes or yes ?

[@rpengu1]

Lol the general - dispatch just unlocked a memory

[@ddraperjr9839]

Dillon, the only guy you cant FF the ads. Legend.

[@ericbontheweb]

Ben said the "freshman 40" because he's from Texas. Every where else its the freshman 15

[@alexanderelkorek]

Maxwell just got arrested, lol.

[@xOneDudeArmy]

Why don't we have millions of views? KZbin audio videos.

[@SuperHoneyOil]

xOneDudeArmy right? They could use an Android on a cvs phone stand and not even bother to sync the audio and it’d be better. Hell even just have someone edit dumb photos slideshow style.

[@xOneDudeArmy]

@@SuperHoneyOil its bullshit. I like the effeminate twink breathe laughing. I like to see it. Or kump!! Bring back kump permanently. He helped Tim's pod to where it is. Everything after is a backward step.

[@willmiramontes]

2:18:55 is oddly freeing, you don't try to get high- you either get high or you don't. You don't try to run a mile, you either run a mile or you don't.

[@anonymousconflict2881]

This might be my favorite episode 🤣 and that’s really saying something.

[@mikemata8994]

Tuesday’s with stories is also a great podcast listen listen listen

[@thumpire]

Great show, compelling and rich.

[@TheMrguitarmanguy]

Tims voice is like fuji water

[@AngryAmerican1776]

Women who listen to the Tim Dillon show are on a higher vibrational plane and that's why you should gamble. 😂

[@TheBobafett13]

How the fuck did I never see this before. God damn. One of the best.

[@OneEyedDrummerTDHE]

Hello I'm a time travel from 8 months in the future.. This may sound crazy but things are far worse then he predicted.

[@NightMedicine]

My god...you were right...

[@OneEyedDrummerTDHE]

@@NightMedicine dont worry this is still the opening act

[@ficklepickle6290]

Hahaha listening to this today. I laughed out loud at so many points this is hilarious

[@housematespodcast6738]

i knew that i was on a higher vibrational plane, then people who dont listen to Tim, but then i remembered i am straight white male in Lisa's Lounge

[@TheMrguitarmanguy]

Hahaha tim is so funny in the add when he is indulging in his listeners egos hahahah

[@doodoo66]

I love relistening to this and hearing him talk about not wanting to bang people over the hard about the Patreon then almost instantly i get the Spotify notification that bad friends put out every week that they have a patreon episode.

[@michelebergman4336]

TIM 4 PRESIDENT

[@2010kgurl]

I’ve watched this while podcast maybe 5 times now.

[@therealwilfreddierkes9980]

Wild.

[@DrSpaceCapeTV]

Tim Dillon singing The Starting Line!!! LMAO

[@lestermitchell4368]

One of the best episodes