#167

[@antonia6059]

At the beginning of our marriage was difficult because we were broke living on just his income. But we felt that it was very important for me to stay home with our 3 young kids. I just kept supporting him, taking care of him, cooking for him, and encouraging him. Now he’s making good money and it’s no problem living on one income. Ladies if you lift the load of the household duties so he could focus on his carrier. And you be his biggest fan and cheerleader and be patient with him he’ll get there.

[@maryamibrahim7537]

May God bless you and your family

[@piak78]

❤ very well put

[@mattkaminski6618]

Fantastic podcast. My wife is the breadwinner, not by choice, and it's affected our marriage in the most negative way. Thanks for the information.

[@sarahrobertson634]

If it's good for her, that's all that matters.

[@christopherperez8843]

It's not about what's good for her. It's about what's good for the marriage.

[@sarahrobertson634]

@@christopherperez8843 Women come first.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​@@christopherperez8843 It's about what's good for her. It's not all about only what's good for you.

[@christopherperez8843]

Wylee, don't put words in my mouth. I explicitly said it's about doing and having a system that leads to a successful marriage. One that doesn't end up in divorce. I did not say what is good for the guy is what is important. Sarah that mindset will not lead to a lifelong marriage.

[@divorceguru]

Such an interesting topic. As someone who works with couples getting divorced, my take is that women resent their husbands, not because he's not contributing enough around the house (although this is what she will say) but because he's not able to earn enough so she can pull back at work. She will never openly admit that, but from the 100s of conversations I have had with couples, it is clear that this is the core of the issue. She feels she HAS to work, not because she wants to, but because society has told her to, the family need the extra money to maintain their lifestyle or whatever and in reality she would prefer not to work as much as she is. I think most women who have children would prefer to work less and spend more time with their children and I think this surprises many women.

[@savedbygrace2013]

Wow...perfectly said!

[@lorrilewis2178]

I find it interesting that you don't take the wives word for why they resent their husbands. If someone tells you their spouse doesn't help enough around the house, who are you to say they are wrong? Do you live with them? Plus, there is documentation that marriages with husbands who don't pitch in are more likely to end up in divorce. That was the literal reason my sister got a divorce. She would come home from work and have to do the grocery shopping. She would tell her husband to watch their daughter while she was gone and he would say, "Oh you're not going to make me babysit are you?" He wanted her to take their daughter with her to the store so he could just watch TV. She would tell him, "You can't "babysit" your own daughter. You're her parent." She came home from doing errands one day and her daughter had cut almost all her hair off because he wasn't paying attention. Her daughter was so young she could have really hurt herself. Don't make excuses for these men.

[@joimonae4090]

agreed there is a lot of resentment

[@divorceguru]

@@lorrilewis2178 I'm not saying that I don't believe women when they say this - I 100% believe this is happening all the time. What I am saying is that what they are saying and what they are really feeling isn't always aligned. Yes, in a paradigm where the woman HAS to work, she needs her husband to step up and do his share, but in reality, when that does happen (and it does happen) she's still not happy. And she's even more unhappy if the husband stays home and becomes a stay at home dad which I have seen happen as well (and I have also seen women completely lose it if the husband suggests that as a possible solution). What I am saying is that I think the issue of household chores touches on a deeper issue. I think if you gave the average full-time working mum the option of A) having your husband do 50% of the household chores or him staying home and doing most of the chores while you work full time or B) you pulling back at work (either not working at all or working a lot less) but still doing 80% of the household chores with no drop in income/lifestyle, most would choose B rather than A. I think most women just can't identify that what is really making them unhappy is the fact that they don't want to HAVE to work so much when they have young children. Having a husband not pulling his weight at home is like pouring salt on the wound for sure, but it's not the main issue.

[@lorrilewis2178]

@@divorceguru I just think you have to be careful about invalidating what people tell you. Also, since you're dealing with people divorcing, they could be wildly incompatible too, hence the unhappiness no matter what is suggested.

[@lifeisall488]

I love being a stay at home mom my husband is the main breadwinner and im home taking care of our kids and he can focus on his career everyone has roles to follow is a duty in a marriage it works for us in the meantime i have hobbies he comes home to home cooked meals clean home and still has time to spend time with us

[@Tm-gg2mz]

I found it so interesting what you said about a man's need and ability to take time to recharge. I often get so frustrated when my husband is relaxing after work while I'm still cleaning up the house after putting 4 kids to bed. I'll ask him to help and he absolutely will but I never understood how he was okay with that. I've even asked him "how can you just lay there relaxing while I'm still working? Doesn't it make you feel guilty?" Because I know I would never be able to relax while watching him work! When I was still working, I would be up till at least 1 am every night cleaning up the house. Still took care of the kids all day (I didn't want to send them out so I worked from home around their schedules), cooked 3 meals a day, and kept a spotless house despite being pregnant with 2 toddlers. I just don't know how to relax if things need to be done and it's so facinating hearing you explain why this is! This is why my husband and I decided I should stop working, I was burning out and couldn't be as present with the kids or my husband. My mind was always going on how to get everything done in time to get my work hours in. Now that I've stopped working I'm still super busy, but I am able to be present in my roles as a wife and mother and am constantly working to be the best one I can.

[@r.dennison5042]

How does your kids sleep tho? My 8 month old wakes 7-10 times a night and we take shifts. I go to bed within an hour of putting her to bed because I will be up every 40 min-2hrs all night until my shift ends at 3am and then my husband tends to baby. I’m obviously not able to do any housework or cook. My mom helps. But my house is a f ing mess and I couldn’t care less. I just want sleep.

[@charlielemon8586]

The best discussion I have heard on the topic. The complaint that a partner “was not ambitious enough for me” is very frequently citied as the reason for a separation, but I have never heard those words uttered by a man. From personal experience that women frequently see their earnings as their own money is spot on, but they also continue to have expectations that half their husbands money is theirs. Discussions prior to marriage about how you want your life to look like in the future and what your priorities are is extremely difficult. Once children come along - quite rightly - your priorities change and there is no real way of predicting how you will react to having children. I was the main breadwinner and also had several houses when we married whereas my wife had no houses. When we had our first child my ex decided to go back to work as soon as possible and put our child into full time childcare. That did not sit comfortably with me as having a child changed my priorities. Working six days a week for 10 hours a day felt like I was missing out too much. If my wife had decided to be a stay at home mum I believe it would have still have been uncomfortable but would have had a purpose. When our second child arrived (18 months later) I changed career to one that was lower paid but allowed me to also carry out full time childcare (whilst also fully renovating our new house). I never took any money from my partner. This was the beginning of the end. I don’t believe my ex was honest about what she wanted (or was willing to sacrifice). It felt like she wanted to have her cake and eat it. To not be the main breadwinner, be seen as the mother figure but also work full time, put the children in care (which I pay for) and have me to pay for a cleaner whilst also keeping all her own earnings. However I do not regret my decisions. Divorced now and living in a flat with no other houses and no money from my ex (despite her earning six times my salary). But have a very close relationship with both my children who - when they reached 16 and court orders no longer applied - decide to live with me pretty much full time. I feel very privileged.

[@dwwolf4636]

That's almost like the perfect "revenge".

[@bigol7169]

I love these shows so much. You’ve got that calmness and nostalgic down to earthness of an early 2000s mum. Love from Australia ❤

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

The dynamic automatically changes when the woman is the breadwinner and she becomes the main financial provider in the household. A woman loses respect for the man because if he’s not the main financial provider and she’s forced into that role, in her eyes he’s inadequate as a provider and protector. She’s going to lash out at the guy or start looking elsewhere for a guy who can provide. That’s why high-earning women don’t want to marry men who make less than they do, and they prefer to remain single instead of being married to some guy that has to rely on her finances. The only way that this situation works (woman makes more than the man) is the man HAS to make enough money to support the entire household, they’re not dependent on her money to support the household, and HIS money is used to pay the bills, put food on the table, put a car in the garage, and put a roof over their head. HER money is used for luxuries like vacations, going out to dinner, getting housekeepers and nannies, and if they’re smart, investments to help build the family wealth. That way, if she loses her job or she decides to take a lower-paying job, it’s not that big of a deal because their essential needs are being met by the guy’s salary. If he loses his job, he hustles to find another one instead of using her money to cover the house because the dynamic will change negatively once she becomes the breadwinner.

[@SuzanneVenkerAuthor]

100% agree

[@exvan3571]

I can't wait to get married.

[@TristanJohnson-qn8fr]

Spot on Jennifer. It makes sense to me that a woman's money should only be used for feminine purposes such as keeping the home nicely decorated, building a nest egg, looking good for her man, brunch with her girls, etc.That way the more she makes, the more she has available to maintain her femininity.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

"She's going to lash out at the guy". Actually, it's the other way round. DV INCREASES when the woman is the main breadwinner.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​@@rejectionisprotection4448 Source?

[@Bri_165]

I had to take a huge step back in my small business. For a couple of years I made more than my husband. The money was nice, but I don’t think it was great for our marriage. Being more devoted as a wife and mother, rather than pouring my whole self into a business has blessed my family greatly. Finances are tighter, but we are happier.

[@aliceinnc1]

This may be the route I have to go.

[@kes12able]

Someone needs to explain this to men. I know of many men who do not want their wives to stay home. They have been very influenced by the culture and forget they were designed to be the providers. They think women should be working full time outside the home just as they are. It’s so sad to see.

[@joimonae4090]

mamn it was women in the first place who fought to work, this is what women asked for so now after years of being in the work force it is ingrained for women to woke its the norm now and till this day many women do not want to be a stay at home wife they in fact shame other women who do stay at home and say they are wasting their potential women created this culture so men have adapted to that and now most men are used to working women

[@thatsfunny2051]

That's depressing. I'd rather stay single my whole life than be a working mother.

[@sarahrobertson634]

It's extremely dangerous for women to do nothing but stay home. Males tend to become violent with their housewives, because they know she doesn't have the money to leave.

[@owusuphilipable]

It’s women lol, men have been providing since ancient times, feminism has told men they don’t need to provide and women bought that idea, u got what u wanted, stop blame maen

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Women should be working outside the home. It's being an adult

[@GBU61]

It is extremely rare to hear a woman say she wants to make more money than her husband. Depending on the source, women want a man to make 58% more than she does. If she makes more than him, she loses respect for him eventually and with that the leverage and authority in the household. These relationships are doomed to fail. And people wonder why marriage is less than a 50% success rate?

[@chriswatson1698]

Women have to be financially independent. Marriage is insecure and dangerous if you invest in your husband's earning power, at the expense of your own. Which is what you are doing when you absorb the inconvenience of children's needs.

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

You are absolutely right. It’s reflecting in the stats where marriage rates are rapidly falling. The reason why a high-earning woman wants a man who makes more than she does is she knows that she couldn’t respect him because if he makes less than she does, in her eyes he’s inadequate as a provider, so why should that woman “surrender” to some guy who has to “depend on her for her finances”? These women would rather be alone than be married to a man who isn’t at the same financial level as she is.

[@private-private]

@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living Good to know. They would rather be alone that be with someone who earns less than they do. That knowledge is golden. Thanks for sharing it.

[@TGP109]

@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living Personally, I don't care how much he makes as I'm not interested in children, as long as he's not sitting on the couch all day expecting me to come home and do the housework.

[@insomniacresurrected1000]

This is highly cultural and American. Where I am from, women often choose competent men that are blue collar because they know there aren’t enough guys in their bank or lawyer jobs.

[@briannorman4691]

Thank you for throwing me a rescue line for my marriage. We were forced into this situation when I got sick 10yrs ago. We are still in it. Mostly for the rest of my life. The stress of knowing something is wrong & having someone explain it so well. It shows me hope. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@jeromebarry1741]

Wife died last July. Today I came home from work and fixed my dinner. What's different now is that I didn't also fix hers. While dinner cooked, I started a load of laundry. What's different now is that I didn't also wash her clothes. That was and still is why I told her I would not marry another woman. Suzanne, I'm 60 and healthy and have family who live past 90 often. I've got another 30 years of healthy living. No woman on the planet, even the high income women, will take anything more from me.

[@private-private]

Well said.

[@Clare-tea]

I dont completely understand your last statement, but gather this isn't what you wanted to do?

[@private-private]

@@Clare-tea In the event he does not reply what I understand from Jerome's comment is that he would never take a chance marrying a woman again knowing what the divorce laws, family court hatred of men and how society today views men at large is just a risk too great for him to sign any contracts. At least that's how I read his comment and I agree with him as Im similar but divorced now widowed.

[@MsJazbren]

​@@private-privateInteresting take. I thought he meant that after his wife died, nothing changed, except now he had less work to do. Meaning he didn't feel she added more value than she 'took' in the relationship.

[@parrotshootist3004]

​@@MsJazbrenconversely nothing has changed to the chores he does. If that indicates she added no value... Well.

[@ideaWorld403]

Suzanne you were spot on. Some of these ideas Ive considered, but many id never considered. When i was working my husband and I made roughly the same (both high incomes in corporate jobs), and let me tell you looking back now years later i can see I was resentful that he wasnt making significantly more than me. We had our first child by then and i felt like i was busting my butt working a full time stressful job, running the house, mental load of keeping it all going, exercising to try and regain my pre baby body, all whilst still healing from pregnancy (Ive found it takes me years to feel like my prepartum self). I felt like i was working harder than him, whilst also feeling like he wasnt pulling his financial weight by making a lot more money given a mans role as provider. We decided eventually that i would step back from work to raise our children, and im not ashamed in the least to say i am thrilled he is the sole provider for our family. I am raising our boys to feel pride in taking on that responsibility for their family when their time comes for marriage and families. My husband loves to know he can provide well for our family, and im forever proud and grateful to him for providing that security and comfort for us.

[@cpbeauvoir]

I am new to your podcasts and have never heard anyone describe this scenario so respectfuly and also so simply. You habe a new subscriber

[@vincentdolcepropertydreams9792]

I never heard an explanation as succinct and thorough as that you really hit the nail on the head unfortunately, the women who need to hear that aren’t listening yet

[@thefuturista7836]

Learning to surrender at home is something I need to work on. I was raised in feminist ideology and definitely tend to take on the masculine role. My husband has said a few times: “You speak to me like I’m one of the kids.” 😆 I’m guilty. Us modern women desperately need someone to teach us to be feminine because our culture has only encouraged us to be masculine. I’m going to work on saying “okay” and just listen instead of always trying to lead/decide everything. My husband is the one who’s in charge of our finances and he’s also the sole breadwinner right now. I can agree with Suzanne that these things definitely help us have a more peaceful dynamic as a couple. He’s free to lead and I’m free to focus on our daughter and home. Nobody’s weighed down by “having to do it all”. We definitely do equally much work but entirely different things. I never take out the garbage for example and he never plans a kids birthday party. 😂

[@kathleenking47]

It seemed to have started around 1966...feminism The ancients and even modern people knew, this could happen, and they pushed mentor get educated FIRST

[@chriswatson1698]

What will you do when he abandons you for a younger woman with a job?

[@Gintoki_Madao]

@@chriswatson1698 he won't

[@chriswatson1698]

@@Gintoki_Madao Yeah, everyone thinks that.

[@Gintoki_Madao]

@@chriswatson1698 and everyone thinks he will Who's wrong?

[@amoleis61023]

My mom married an older man (her 2nd marriage) who eventually retired while she still worked. She then became the primary breadwinner those last few years of their marriage. It ended in divorce because she felt she had the power to lead the household, not only financially but spiritually, and my stepdad put his foot down. So, she left him...women think they want to be in control...ask me more how that is working out for our family...

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Women should be in control, especially the primary breadwinner

[@thatsfunny2051]

Haven't listened to this yet. I'm 33, single, no kids. If I get married (and at my age it's perhaps a long shot), I don't want to be the breadwinner. I want to stay home with my kids until they are school aged.

[@RealElenaDiaz]

Love love your content! I do all these things with my husband and we have a great marriage of 11 years with 3 kids. I’m 37 years and I hope many women wake up!

[@wolfgangkranek376]

The "breadwinning" is not the problem, their attitude is when they earn more then their men. It uncovers all the lies and delusions about gender equality.

[@mcnut1]

Money is power. Whoever has (i.e. earns) the most, is the boss. For men in today's society, marriage is just wrong/crazy.

[@danilaroche1156]

What you said is crazy. Christ is power. Christians..true believers prioritize God over money.

[@snowplow7883]

Men do not love women who don’t respect them, they endure them

[@Foxie770]

Women don’t live men they cannot respect. It’s a two way street. Be a man, you’ll get respect and your wife will stay happy and never leave.

[@snowplow7883]

@@Foxie770 be a man and risk being cancelled, arrested, or otherwise destroyed… unless you’re Chad Or Tyrone… so leave them to their social media, cats, and boxed wine… while you go your own way

[@emmaphilo4049]

And vice versa

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

​@@snowplow7883More women are choosing celibacy and being alone. They're fine with it.

[@snowplow7883]

@@rejectionisprotection4448 box wine sales are booming, and cats are happy

[@kes12able]

This is so true and has always been my argument. Women will always end up doing most of the housework and child care. I worked until our oldest was 14 and this was true for us. Of course, our situation was very complicated because of circumstances I won’t go into. I really had no choice but to work.

[@ianmiles2505]

And if you were a single mom? Would that "unpaid work" go away?

[@kes12able]

what is your point??? @@ianmiles2505

[@chriswatson1698]

The needs of children are unpredictable and often inconvenient. When do men put their careers at risk by absenting themselves from work, to provide care for their own children? When women ask their employers for time off, they are investing in their husband's earning power at the expense of their own.

[@garypapesh1345]

Suzanne is bringing the truth today👍👍‼️

[@t-man5323]

I've seen couples do little things like they never travel using her car when they are travelling together. They use HIS car and he drives. Little things like that are about surrendering, letting him drive when you are together.

[@kathleenking47]

I even let my boyfriends drive my car, when I'm in it I thought it looked WEIRD, when girlfriends drive their BOYFRIENDS around😵..especially the 16-30 year olds

[@mariharrik5987]

Wtf why cant you drive stop being so dependant

[@mariharrik5987]

​@@kathleenking47no its not weird its your car You people act like you are males property

[@Abril-1234]

@@kathleenking47 so driving is an inherently masculine activity?

[@Abril-1234]

How does me preferring to drive mean I don’t respect my husband?? Y’all reaching.

[@DrLusEnglish]

Without money as currency, marriage should be more popular, providing more support to kids.

[@nickstuart200]

Marriage, where what's his is hers, and what's hers is hers also. What one will almost never see is a complete list of household chores. Typically not included: yardwork, snow removal, gutter cleaning, plumbing repair, electrical repair, putting stuff together (IKEA, shelves, etc.), car repair (whether DIY or dealing with the repair shop), heavy lifting (cleaning the garage kinds of things), etc. No comment made on who does what, could be either, the point is just to have a complete list. And while not all men are proficient with, for example, plumbing repair; it must be granted that not all women are proficient with, for example, cooking.

[@chriswatson1698]

None of those activities compete with the man's earning capacity. It is child care that threatens a person's earning capacity. The needs of children are unpredictable and often inconvenient. Whenever a woman takes time out from her business, or asks her employer for time off, in order to provide for their children's needs, she is investing in her husband's earning capacity, at the expense of her own.

[@Michael_Arnold]

​@@chriswatson1698The only reason she can take that risk is because she has his backup. It's not a competition for God's sake

[@chriswatson1698]

@@Michael_Arnold The risk that she is taking is that he can withdraw his backup, on no grounds at all and without penalty. Then she loses her investment in his earning capacity.

[@TGP109]

All work should be respected.

[@Cindy75K]

Marriage is NOT a competition. You really are misinformed. The problem is atheism....men and women give and do for others and not do it for a reward or expecting some sort of trophy for it or acknowledgement. It's very selfish, you should be selfless. BTW I'm not real religious but I do believe in morals and follow Christian values. Find someone who is NOT selfish.

[@flowerpower3618]

I find this so sad. My incredible daughter is the breadwinner. She married a “musician “. Fortunately God found a way to allow her to be the first in the company (5 years ago after her son was born) to test working from home. She was a success - not surprising to me). She also was homeschooled and never went to college.

[@bobbimartinez9547]

This is absolutely insane… I was raised with two working parents and saw my dad take on an equal amount of household duties such as cooking, cleaning, etc and parented equally. When my husband and I got together in our late teens then later married in our mid twenties, we had established an understanding that we both were equal partners who contributed equally in all aspects of our life. I honestly didn’t even know there was any other way because gender roles weren’t really a thing in my upbringing. There are times I have out earned my husband and times he has out earned me. At the end of the day it all goes into the same pot and we budget and spend together. My husband cleans way more then I do and I tend to do all the cooking because I want to. Child care is also equal and there is no “default parent”. I would be so resentful if I had to do all the housework and childcare alone and not allow myself time and mental capacity to perform and continue with my career. My hope is that my children see the value in equal partnership marriage and can have their own personal goals and ambitions. I am a much better wife and mother because I take time for myself and ensure my own well being and am incredibly grateful that my husband does as well and steps up as an equal partner to allow me to be a whole human being. Women aren’t happy in marriages because their husbands don’t step up. It’s 2024, a man’s paycheck alone simply is not enough.

[@Tamar-sz8ox]

Most households with good incomes have cleaning , lawn & handymen services etc.

[@dovonovich]

Most households don’t have good income.

[@Tamar-sz8ox]

@@dovonovichI know , I grew up working class .

[@Kashban]

Stats are clear: Women being more educated and outearning men leaves them stranded without men to look up to and average men failing to bring enough to the table to attract women -> less long term relationships / even lesser marriages. Women behaving like men are not attractive to most men, men acting like women are not attractive to most women. Thanks feminism.

[@christinarichie6171]

Education = Indoctrination

[@sweettagada22]

I fully agree with what Suzanne said. Today, men are very unconfortable with their providing role, they enjoy having a wife who works and earns even more money than they do, but they don't realize how damaging it is for the relationship.

[@puruen]

The funny thing is most men think that they are doing equal house work when in reality..women do more.

[@FrequencyOfThought]

wahhh make me a sammich you wanted power and control and wealth instead you got none of it.

[@Clare-tea]

Its too bad women now have all these black pilled men to deal with. That wouldn't be worth to me being around all of that bitterness.

[@SamanthasUniverse]

This is EXCELLENT information. I always felt this was this case and your video just confirmed what I always felt. I left Corporate America because I wanted to focus on my children more. But, I like having my own money because I don't like being controlled so I try to find ways to create income streams that allows me a flexible schedule so I can still, primarily, focus on my sons. I always knew since I left home at 18 that I wasn't going to provide for a grown man. I just can't comfortably do that. I thought it was related to my family's religion and learning men are to Protect and Provide from the Bible. But, even after leaving religion behind, I still look at men's role in my life as the Breadwinner and I expect to do more of the child rearing and housework. Though I think more Moms should not be afraid to ask for help, like hire a maid service once a month to deep clean and we Moms simply maintain with our husbands/partner and/or children, especially if Mom is working too. I have no shame in admitting I can't do it all and hiring help aka outsourcing/delegating tasks to others so I have time to workout, rest, work on my hobbies and things I enjoy. Thank you for sharing. This definitely resonates.

[@reginasemenenko148]

I've been working since I was 17. It's never been an issue for us as we need two incomes. I also cook and clean at home and my hubs helps a little too. We could afford to pay for cleaning, but together we manage.

[@emmaphilo4049]

So you do more work overall... Well as long as it works for you.

[@reginasemenenko148]

​@@emmaphilo4049I don't complain about work. I have a husbs and Mother-in-law who help and we have an nice homelife.

[@dovonovich]

@@emmaphilo4049You’re assuming.

[@thatxdamnxgirl7416]

I went through cancer treatment during my last pregnancy. My baby is born and I am now in remission, however, during this period of time my husband lost his job due to the amount of time taken off to help me during treatment. I lost my job as well and then immediately moved into a high-paying job in tech as a company's Head of Training and content designer. Since this happened I have been the sole breadwinner for the past 11-12 months. My husband really dislikes being a homemaker and makes it quite obvious, but he also says he doesn't want to go back to work. I feel like he wants me to play both roles of breadwinner and homemaker and frankly, it's too much for me. I am overwhelmed, exhausted from the recent tribulations of life, overburdened, and emotionally quite numb and detached. I don't know what to do.

[@thatxdamnxgirl7416]

@Jason Walter He says it's because I need his help, but I don't get the help I need from him. He would be more help at this point if he went back to work because I manage the kids all day because he can't handle it. Not to mention I feed them most meals as well, and do all the grocery shopping and nearly all the laundry.

[@thatxdamnxgirl7416]

@Jason Walter I love him to the moon and back and need him in my life. He is the father to our two beautiful children and the love of my life, I can't imagine life without him. I just think we are at a difficult point in our lives where we have both been thrust into new roles that neither of us was prepared for or is equipped to handle very well. He was the man of the house before I got sick, we made roughly the same amount of money - albeit I earned about 10k more solely due to the fact that I have a very marketable degree and work in white-collar tech fields and he works in blue-collar fields.

[@audreymitchell-wineland9743]

I’m sorry for all your difficulties. sounds like your husband desperately needs to go back to work for his mental health if nothing else. Find the money to hire housekeeper & babysitter so he has no excuse not to get out there. Lots of job openings right now.

[@tabbypanda82]

Ugh you’d be better off divorcing his ass😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 @thaxdamnxgirl7416 DIVORCE HIM ITS ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE 🤬

[@thatxdamnxgirl7416]

@AmirahB91 Lol how does it feel to be that stupid?

[@diamondback2085]

And how many papers have been written on this? Quite a few. And it's said over and over. Simple rule of thumb though is men need to be needed. And if the woman earns more the man does not feel needed and more importantly the woman is aware he is not really needed. Hence he detached and she files for divorce. A very important rule to pummel into your children's minds. Intellect won't overrule this.

[@castiel4746]

Nop only that on average women look down to men who earn less than them, wome are hypergamus They say that they are "dating down". And most women can not change that because hipergamy is nature, not something learned at school

[@Clare-tea]

It probably has a lot to do more with how its handled.

[@diamondback2085]

@@Clare-tea no it's human nature and psychology.

[@Clare-tea]

@@diamondback2085 it isn't just a hard no. Not everyone is the same.

[@diamondback2085]

@@Clare-tea human nature is human nature the world over. And it's best to always protect yourself. Many women use specific red flags to protect themselves which I teach my daughters to emulate. Men need to do the same. You do you but a stable happy relationship is the goal for my kids and teaching trends is very important. I'll give one example. Don't date or marry a woman or man from divorced parents. There is a 80% increase in instances of divorce compared to non divorced parents. It does not mean you are destined to divorce but it does come with baggage and potential. I've meten and women that use threat of divorce as a means to and end in getting their way So dating and marriage to children of divorced parents is a dead end. Statistics work. Studies in human nature work. They are not infallible but can be used to lessen the likelihood of a bad end result. So your right it's not open and shit but it does not need to be when you are just trying to lesson the likelihood of tragedy.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

This is a ridiculous idea, thay somehow women are biologically more drawn to cleaning up behind someone all day.

[@Mrs.WordSmith.GEN_8zero]

You missed the larger point than “cleaning up “ all day. Shes talking about being able to be a NURTURER @ home instead of a business MANAGER once the the woman /wife has separated herself out for the work day, to be fully @ home which includes emotionally present and attuned to the relationships in her life which are spouse/children.

[@lizchristina90]

Agreed. Absolutely insane way of thinking, I’m shocked how many people agree with this take. Maybe men should learn how to take care of a home and children.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

@@lizchristina90 - This is why they are single and they will continue to be if they continue to be lazy at home and have that sort of misogynist thinking. Those days are over. Life is hard nowadays and getting more expensive. So, women don't need him if the man is going to be anything less than a fully fledged adult that can care for themsleves in every way. He needs to be able to care for himself financially, physically, mentally, spiritually, etc, and doesn't need help from a woman to do basic adult tasks. If he thinks a womans job is to be his mommy like he was 7 years old...then he will be single. It's just ridiculous to believe that this is womens natural desire to baby an adult snd clean up behind them.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

​@@Mrs.WordSmith.GEN_8zero- Thats the issue. She is already doing that when she comes home from work, but her husband is not. So she ends up doing it herself and managing. The flaw is on the adult man.

[@Mrs.WordSmith.GEN_8zero]

@@ecclairmayo4153 ok…fair OBSERVATION on behalf of a “ disengaged” spouse/partner. But let’s be mature adults with OUR “personal responsibility of emotional ownership” & lay off the gas pedal of blame/projection: men are NOT naturally “ nurturers” in the same way that women are. They are NOT designed or wired that way . Women ARE. So it’s unfair to both genders for the female gender specifically to expect the other gender to become “ equal” in their thinking, behavior, engaging the same EXaCT way we would ourselves or expect them to. Does this mean men are excused from stepping up & disengaging??? ~ no! But let’s not pull an “ Adam & Eve” finger point towards the other …as BoTH genders DID/get caught with their own bite marks into the forbidden fruit! # personal ownership leads to personal responsibility. # { let’s} lay OFF the midcentury feminist KoolAID

[@terryfox9344]

Extremely enlightening. I found your money suggestion at the end shocking, but worth a whole lot of serious thought. I am in my 70's, so as a practical matter, much of your advice is too late for me, I grew up a child of a relatively equal earning parents and my wife and I earned relatively equal amounts, so I have been aware of this situation and to some extent the problems that it causes. Unfortunately, it has taken me a very long time to understand women, although my mother did make unsuccessful attempts to tell me. Thinking back, I would never have come up with your final idea of me managing the money, although I would have been quite good at it, and it would have forced me to step up and do what needed to be done.

[@print3328]

This was a very good message. Hadnt thought of it this way but she is spot on

[@Abril-1234]

Me and my husband are 50/50. Make about the same. It’s totally fine except I won’t have kids if we can’t afford to live off one income.

[@christinarichie6171]

No such thing. Does he have your periods 50% of the year? See how stupid all this is.. You are never 50/50 with a man.. Never!! And your comment shows your brainwashing too. You would give up having a child because of "lifestyle "..

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​@christinarichie6171 Yes lifestyle is worth more to many people

[@dovonovich]

Enjoy falling into the trap Suzanne talks about. You’re literally exhibiting dangerous pride.

[@markaurelius61]

What is the article quoted talking about "when miss francis surpassed her husband in earnings"? Googling that quote didn't turn anything up.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

That's because it's not real

[@akredshaw]

Wonderfully insightful! Thanks again, Suzanne!

[@Grey-Ghost]

Wife is the major bread winner and I bring in a very good amount also. Diffrence is I do most house work and help big time with the kids. Her job hs become her identity. We have havoc over hear? Always tired and all conversations are about her career.

[@notyet2345]

Could it be weaponized incompetence on the part of men? While women do have the children, you are basically saying only women can cook and clean for their kids not men. Men can't put clothes in the washer, men can't wash a dish.....I'm not getting the connection. If a man has ever lived alone, who did the cleaning, washing and cooking for him? He suddenly can no longer do those things because he is married and has kids She's turns her anger towards her husband because her husband isn't pulling his weight, not because he's just there. I worked with a woman who had three kids. Both her and her husband worked full time but it was her who had to do all the chores and raise the kids when they got home.....He played video games. She had to threaten to leave him to get him to do any work.......It's the stunning lack of empathy for me that men think gender roles are more important than there wives emotional, mental and physical well being that blows me away.

[@vrldc8966]

To answer your question, no it's not.

[@georgesontag2192]

Suzanne said that the female will always do the house work with a full time job. She is not capable of letting go. The man is capable. In other words, her own DNA makes her unhappy. A well written prenup should be in order if your the man getting married, knowing all this.

[@notyet2345]

@@georgesontag2192 And that is why I asked the question if it's weaponized incompetence on the part of men. Men tend to act like they are incapable of doing something so the woman will always do it. They screw up the laundry, they screw up cooking...........I personally could let go of cleaning, cooking and washing clothes if done right. I hate during chores so if there is someone else in the household who can do it, go for it.

[@notyet2345]

@@georgesontag2192 prenups should be mandatory for both men and women.

[@thatxdamnxgirl7416]

1,000% agree with you on this

[@kokigephart111]

Men seldom critic a womans house keeping . But when she goes to work the standards goes way up and what ever he does is never good enough.

[@MsSimpleMovies]

There are different priorities sometimes between husband and wife, not so much standards of quality of the work. My husband just didn't care that the garbage would pile up for a week or more while insisting on washing the dishes by hand while I'm paying for a place with a built-in dishwasher. Using the dishwasher and taking out the garbage every night would be my preference. He has a very weak sense of smell, so it's not his priority. I told him he needed to change his priorities to mine or we were going to get bugs and vermin. I'm by far not a regular housekeeper (although I love to clean) but I'm the miserable, miserable breadwinner, and if it's his job to be the home manager, then he's got to do it right. And in this case, my priorities are correct.

[@Amethyst454]

Women want to be treasured. Men want to be respected. Most healthy women do not want to be doing their job and the man's.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

What is the man's job?

[@dovonovich]

@@wyleecoyotee4252You’ve commented so much on this vid. Go away. Be miserable somewhere else.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

​@@wyleecoyotee4252- make enough money to care for the family

[@GORT70]

#1 problem in marriage (I think) is having a spouse that competes against you or sees you as a point of comparison to what option #2 is instead of supporting you.

[@sylvetteharris1788]

Very insightful, great advice!!

[@Foxie770]

16:16 my husband complains about this all the time with me. I can’t just sit on the couch and watch tv with him if there’s housework to be done. I’ll be running two loads of laundry and baking cookies and intermittently sit down to watch tv. He just plants himself down and can only focus on the tv show.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

This same man will complain that he has no clean socks. Someone has to do the laundry and it's not always at a tune convenient

[@FrostOfSilence]

I make about $10,000 more than my husband right now, and i work for an organization that is very generous with pay increases. I can see down the line that if i stay in my career, i could be making about 6 figures in the next few years. Except i dont want any of it. We live in state with a very high cost of living, with mortgages and other bills. It's very jard for me to let go of this career i've built, but i will likely be leaving within the next year. I'm due with our second baby in January. My son will be 2 years old when my daughter is born. Im lucky enough to have a work from home position, and my company has no plans to force the workforce back to in person work. I've been able to be present with my son during work hours, but my job is demanding and very hands-on. I've had my mom coming to watch our son during the day so that i can work. But it kills me - this is the work i should be doing! I need to take care of my son and my daughter, so i will be leaving the workforce as soon as i can, after maternity leave. Editing to add - my experience doesnt align with the rules suzanne has included in this episode. My husband grew up in a household where his mom was the primary breadwinner for the majority of his childhood, and his father was the primary homemaker. This was due to disability. So my husband grew up seeing his father cooking and cleaning. To be honest, my husband has a hard time relaxing before 100% of chores are completed, so he ends up doing more. But i can see how much better our lives could be if i was the primary homemaker and he could focus on his career.

[@persnipoles]

This reminds me I missed Suzanne. The details of how the wife gets frustrated were a cut above anything I hear elsewhere (even from wives ... ).

[@Gioli565]

I don’t think the women who earn more feel inadequate, I think they resent and disrespect that their husband doesn’t earn as much. Some of this feels toxic that women need to be passive.

[@veronaliving]

Best explanation I've heard. Thanks for not taking into the usual trap: men are lazy, men are insecure. Unfortunately, if the woman remains un self aware there is nothing the man can do and she will divorce him. But at least he gets alimony.

[@lorrilewis2178]

Child support is common. Alimony is rare. I don't know why people think alimony is common when it hasn't been for ages.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

​@@lorrilewis2178I know, so many inaccurate tropes going around about women divorcing for "cash and prizes". The reality is that after a few years most men actually make MORE after divorce, whilst women are significantly poorer and tend to STAY so for much longer, if indeed they ever recover financially. So if women are initiating 75% of divorces then they must be desperate. Nobody ever asks why that figure is so high and even when divorce was much harder for women to obtain, they STILL wanted to divorce more than men; this isn't a recent phenomenon.

[@lorrilewis2178]

@@rejectionisprotection4448 Yep. Men don't ask the right questions because they don't want to know the answers.

[@AverageAngel]

@@lorrilewis2178sorry but what is the right questions for the men to ask?

[@lorrilewis2178]

@@AverageAngel Men are unwilling to ask and unwilling to really hear why their women divorce them. That women are willing to go through the very unpleasant experience of divorce and lose their husband's substantial income with no guarantee of ever replacing it, should be a wake up call. The vast majority of women fall in income after a divorce - going from two incomes to one. These men would have you believe that divorce is a "get rich quick" scheme, which is crazy. AS IF most men are rich! And rich men have prenups anyway.

[@TimmyCramer]

Well there you go. A Wife works hard all day and comes home to a warm meal and hot bath all prepared by her Husband .......who of course wears a dress all day per She is wearing his pants! I'll stick to bachelorhood and a round of golf! 😂

[@ccmcduck9669]

Grow up

[@BlackPrimeMinister]

@@ccmcduck9669 He's right. Where is the lie?

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

​@@BlackPrimeMinisterBreadwinner wives do most of the housework even with a stay at home partner. DV INCREASES when a woman is the breadwinner. I'm wondering why the women get married, frankly.

[@BlackPrimeMinister]

@@rejectionisprotection4448 Is that because they beat their husbands more than before? Women get married because men ask them, but fewer are doing so because of the extremely low quality and aggressive attitude. I suppose you can do the dyke thing and marry each other.

[@christinarichie6171]

You would have always been a batchelor..you don't have it in you.

[@Ja50nkAt]

You can't win, if your wife make more than you the divorce is coming, not if but when. She will always resent you to some degree because women aren't designed by nature to share their resources with the family, hypergamy etc...

[@leighloh4898]

I need to stop commenting on these videos because this woman is never going to stop (she charges $350/hr for her services - why would she??). However, she needs to take a GOOD look in the mirror. I have never been married, but I WANTED to be. I WAS that submissive partner to the men I dated. I WANTED a masculine man. I WANTED to be that support system to a man. Guess where it got me?? Abusive relationship after abusive relationship. It's crazy how the advice that we most ache to give others is the advice that WE OURSELVES are really looking for. That is certainly the case here, Suzanne. You need to take a solid look in the mirror, because I know SO MANY women who have very submissive demeanors, and get themselves into *very bad* relationships and marriages because of it. YOU need to be more submissive with your husband. YOU have a problem with nagging. YOU have a problem with letting go. The fact that you seem to know virtually no women who do not have these problems says that you do not espouse the characteristic of humility enough to even surround yourself with these kinds of people as friends!! I'm sorry, but if you REALLY feel like feminism is such a problem, then start taking your own advice. Quit your job. Let your husband be the breadwinner. Stop profiting so much off of your classes and coaching sessions. Don't want to do that?? You are _just as much_ - if not more! - a feminist as all the women you're constantly griping about.

[@economicdevelopmentplannin8715]

Should a lady submit to her unmarried boyfriend?

[@living4jesuschrist843]

Excellent podcast!

[@georgesontag2192]

Boss babes surrendering at home would last about 3 days. She would become unhappy that she is surrendering and belive she is better off with the house, alimony, child support and the construction guy working across the street with his shirt off. Marriage today with a modern woman has no solutions. Marriage is a nightmare for the man. Maybe an Amish girl is the solution.

[@kathleenking47]

It's why, ancient cultures didnt educate girls?..it could ruin marriage.? The man needs to be needed

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

Yeah, but you'd have to an Amish man and I'm guessing you don't want that.

[@lorrilewis2178]

Alimony is rare to begin with. Boss babes especially would not get alimony. They don't give alimony to people who can support themselves.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​@@kathleenking47 Men are too needy

[@imperator8657]

What they can do is stop being breadwinners since that is one of the major causes of the problem

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Or the husband can make more money...

[@pivot197]

Have a conversation with your future wife about all of these things. If she truly looks at her money as her money and your money as our money do not marry this person!. in 2023 this is a completely toxic scenario.

[@wolfgangkranek376]

While it's important to talk about such things before the marriage, one can never be sure how it works out later.

[@pivot197]

@@wolfgangkranek376 and that is what prenups are for

[@wolfgangkranek376]

@@pivot197 True, they can also give some protection.

[@AverageAngel]

Agree, a women who keeps hers and wants to share yours is a selfish woman, no interest from me

[@brianhoyt3780]

That's why you see these Tide commercials where the guy is home washing the daughter's clothes. Either she is the breadwinner or he is gay,...there is no difference.

[@thatxdamnxgirl7416]

That's a very insecure thing to say actually. I suspect you grew up with a pretty fragile ego?

[@DerekGotega]

I got home way before my wife got home so I ended up taking care of the kid more. She wanted pictures of us during her day to make her feel better. When I started sending them, she started getting made that I was shoving all the things we did in her face. Which I wasn’t. So then she started giving me lists of things to do while I had the kid. Which was a list to keep me away from spending time with our child when she wasn’t home.

[@emmaphilo4049]

Yeah but sometimes, what's the choice

[@Meowch3]

If earning more than your husband hurts your feminine identity, how do you know the problem is not over-attachment to the idea of being "feminine"? When you let your identity dictate your life, you become a slave to it. The harder you cling, the less you are able to embrace your individuality. I am also confused about all this DNA and biology talk... Why not just encourage people to dig deeper and question why they want what they want? Get to know yourself as best you can and find out which desires come from social programming and which are authentic. Surely it's better to advocate thinking critically for oneself rather than blindly believing that men and women are simply hard-wired to desire certain things?

[@dovonovich]

Are you serious? Because men and women are different, obviously. In general men and women are hardwired towards different things, particularly regarding family formation. When I read your comment I bet you’re one of those people who think men can become women and vice versa. If so, you’ll simply never understand even the simplest biological truths.

[@Abril-1234]

I feel like men still want to be congratulated on being providers when we women are just as much providers these days.

[@Amethyst454]

Nothing wrong with congratulating men who are doing their role.

[@Abril-1234]

@@Amethyst454 I mean they’re not sole providers. Everyone is out here having to make money. Don’t need no pat on the back

[@practicallyheidi8505]

@@Abril-1234Men need to be patted on the back. Your feminism runs deep

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​@@Amethyst454 Working for a living is being an adult. It's not a role

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​@@practicallyheidi8505 Are men that needy they need a pat on the back?

[@jp5419]

Moms need to better educate their boys starting early on. Chores, sharing responsibilities for caring for home, this isn't a women's only space. My father did laundry and cooked and supported my mother when she went back to work. Disagree w this viewpoint.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Exactly. The whole video was absolutely backwards and literally made men look like children. It didn't do what she thought it did. There is no standard for men it seems as adults

[@MuseSunflower]

This was very refreshing. I always hear the blanket statements that it doesn’t work… but never detailed information on WHY and what’s going on underneath I think a healthy middle ground is a woman finding flexible income. Something that allows her to attract money from doing something she loves that also recharges her emotionally. That way it’s not burning her out, she’s got a savings and feels safe and most of all TIME to actually be there for her family If you can find a way to monetize something you love that would be great. I’m not saying it’s easy. But it’s something to think about

[@MelissamarieR]

Do we take yard work into account under “ household chores ?”

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

Sure, but it's not as frequent as cooking, cleaning, laundry etc.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Yardwork is intermittent. Household chores are daily, some a few times a day

[@dovonovich]

@@wyleecoyotee4252Here you are again, being miserable. You’re reading more into this comment than necessary. I’m sorry you live a miserable life but it’s not because of men-it’s because you’re just miserable.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

It will never be the same as the DAILY, HOURLY and impromptu work that happens all the time. Men need to stop acting like this is om par with child/elder/pet care and maintaining the home. It is not.

[@peterbedford2610]

Now women are the ones paying alimony after a divorce. 😂

[@lorrilewis2178]

No one gets alimony if they have a job or the ability to have one. Alimony has been rare for a long time.

[@dovonovich]

@@lorrilewis2178He probably just means child support. Don’t play coy.

[@lorrilewis2178]

@@dovonovich I'm not playing "coy". The idea that most divorced women get alimony is an all too common misconception.

[@Abril-1234]

So you’re telling WOMEN to step back at work instead of men stepping up their earning potential?

[@lisa6356]

That's the delusion here.

[@CJ2023Incognito]

Sometimes if you step back it makes it so the man HAS to step up.

[@Abril-1234]

@@CJ2023Incognito so I should try and make less money and take the risk and assume my husband will finally step up in his career

[@CJ2023Incognito]

@@Abril-1234 I don’t know your family struggles. Seems like there is a lot going on in your world, so it wouldn’t be my place to advise. Everyone’s story is different. Wishing you the best of luck.

[@Abril-1234]

@@CJ2023Incognito thanks.

[@TP51JGF]

Women will NEVER marry down... EVER. Once women gain the upper hand in finances and marriage ALL wives will lose interest in their husbands and file for divorce within a few years. Women MUST have a leader with drive and goals as women really can't do it longterm themselves without crashing/drama/nagging/depression, then leading to these SAME women having affair(s), with other perceived Higher Value Men.

[@paolafriedrick]

Mostly true but not always. That's why you need a higher covenant than your spouse and yourself, a good solution is strong religious belief. I know strong Christian women that outearn their husbands x5+, they never left and are not bitter because they understand their children and family comes first but you do have to have a higher purpose in marriage than the simple marrying to be happy (which doesn't work). The women's money became their money but the husband never let their foot off the gas pedal. Reality is, in today's society you will have seasons where the woman might outearn the husband and then go back to where the load is all on him, it's not linear.

[@lizchristina90]

This is factually false. The data just said that 16% of women are primary breadwinners, and that number will only grow

[@ecclairmayo4153]

You can't be serious. Women marry down all the time. It's all that's available

[@aredubbz]

Catch 22

[@saraibucciarelli1821]

so the podcaster and author who is married and is a life coach has a career in telling women not to work. got it.

[@AverageAngel]

Hypocrisy at its finest

[@dovonovich]

You clearly didn’t understand the point. Stay miserable since you must.

[@economicdevelopmentplannin8715]

23:33 cut back hours is the most obvious solution, a less demanding job. Become more feminine, at home. Receive... Without a bunch of lip flapping. Listen. Embolden him. Let him manage the household money.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

​@@economicdevelopmentplannin8715- men applying themsleves and making more money is the obvious solution

[@spicole2937]

53 percent of men are not looking 22 million passports last year good luck ladies

[@theowaf8822]

Here Here Woof Woof!

[@lisa6356]

Please leave.

[@theowaf8822]

@@lisa6356 and then the Pookies can have you as you deserve.

[@orangeandslinky]

Sex to a man in a marriage, is a celebration of the actual marriage and union of the man and woman in that marriage. When the woman does not want to take 30 minutes to celebrate the marriage with the husband in this very personal private way, we are hurt and confused. So, what does a man do? Never ever ever get married in the first place. Men, always know, the woman you will lay your life down for, can not love you at all. And she won't.

[@georgesontag2192]

A man getting married is in trouble no matter which way he goes. If she makes more than him, 90 % divorce rate. If he picks a stay at home mom, she divorces too because she is unhappy and has all day to sleep around. Ask any divorce lawyer how risky a stay at home mom is. If a man wants children, tell her she keeps her own place and no signature period. Harsh, but effective in keeping your sanity. Your still stuck with child support, no way around that.

[@Foxie770]

That’s insane. Stay at home moms are raising their kids, keeping the home and taking care of their husbands. Values & God need to be the foundation of a home. The real reason for divorce is the both of these things are lacking in people’s lives.

[@hadast3806]

Stay at home moms are out trotting the streets…..with no makeup and sweatpants 😂😂😂😂😂 Who is sleeping with them cuz I’d like to know🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

[@snowps1]

​@@hadast3806Seriously 😅 All covered in dust and baby puke. Barely have time for our own husbands. How are we supposed to manage a second man? 😂

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

DV INCREASES when a woman makes more and stay at home husbands do less than their breadwinning wives. A man gets access to all of emotional and domestic labour and now financial labour and then going through actual labour to have children. I wonder why women are getting married tbh.

[@danaarmour707]

So sad you feel that way. Been married for 33 years. Stayed at home with the children until they started school and then I went back to school to become a Nurse and worked since building a life together with my husband. He still makes more money than I do which is fine. We share a banking account and pay our bills and paying for our forever home. Doing life together and enjoying our grandchildren. There is a such thing as a happy marriage. Suzanne is giving great advice and is spot on.

[@mottle7]

Most dads I know work on the house work on cars do the lawn mowing and garden maintenance. But I guess that does count and why alot of men are dine with marriage

[@ecclairmayo4153]

It will never count as much as the DAILY, HOURLY and impromptu work that pops up all the time. Not just something done once a month or every two weeks during one season.

[@janengobilap4887]

Interesting conversation just at a time I have been battling with my marriage and earning much more than my husband. Some changes like using my husband’s car and him driving during the weekend makes me feel much better and puts him in control. Thanks for your insight 🙏🏿👍🏿

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

You should just leave him rather than pandering to his fragile ego

[@ecclairmayo4153]

This sounds like a mother chold relationship. Instead of pandering to a child's ego, why don't men apply themselves and make more money?

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Sad to see you jump through hoops to feed a child's ego

[@bigol7169]

19:58

[@spicole2937]

H9w much gutters u xlean yards u mow cars u fix sink plumb

[@thatxdamnxgirl7416]

How about you learn how to spell and form coherent sentences?

[@kathleenking47]

A woman who makes more, she could hire a cleaning service

[@thatxdamnxgirl7416]

@@kathleenking47 Why should she hire a cleaning service if she has a partner who is a domestic homemaker?

[@kathleenking47]

@@thatxdamnxgirl7416 with the extra money perhaps? At least, hubby could fix the cars😋

[@thatxdamnxgirl7416]

@@kathleenking47 At that point, the husband should go back to work if he is not willing to do domestic labor

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Let me get my violins out. Women working is not the problem.

[@dovonovich]

Well, in part, yes it is. You’ve commented around a dozen times that I’ve seen thus far. Sorry you’re miserable. Now I’m playing my tiny violin for you. Stay a miserable misandrist.

[@THX5000]

Most men are generous. Women, not so much.

[@kathleenking47]

Women can be generous, however, if a woman starts supporting a man finna silly, she becomes "mother" on one level. Love and Respect can be gone

[@katieandnick4113]

Why are men more generous than women, on average? Could it be that generosity is a way for a man to signal that he is capable of taking care of a partner and children? And that women don’t need to do that, because they don’t have to persuade anyone to father a child for them?

[@UniqueGeekFreak]

PPPFFFTTTTT they are stingy greedy & cheap pennypinching , they invest as little as possible on you & give you the worst option, as little as possible

[@christinarichie6171]

We receive...have you never studied basic biology?

[@christinarichie6171]

Keep watching porn then and shut up. Your opinion isn't valid as you took yourself out of the race.. Bitterness is a horrible trait especially in a male.

[@1bluegreen2]

I need help, everything I heard scared me to death. How do you say "okay " and "whatever you think" without communicating your expectations and trying to mitigate risk, especially if your husband has demonstrated poor judgement in the past? Is this the exception by chance?

[@mol4805]

I struggle with this also. My husband has add and tends to be impulsive with money. Not great with it. He’s the breadwinner but I still have a hard time going along with one of his new “ideas” when they’ve flopped so many times in the past. He rarely gets things done that he says he will. He’s a dreamer and wayy over estimates himself. Hard to submit to that all the time

[@1bluegreen2]

@@mol4805 yeah, metaphorically speaking, it's like you're in the passenger seat of a car with a bad driver who has already gotten you both into a few accidents... how do you relax then? I need an answer to this because I can't understand the logic that says I should still say "okay honey" "whatever you want" when the ADD is rendering this person essentially reckless

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

If your husband demonstrates poor judgement, divorce him. Enough with the placating the man games to solidify his useless role.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

​​​@1bluegreen2 In that circumstance, drive the car yourself. This is why women choose to work, choose to make their own descisions.

[@dovonovich]

@@wyleecoyotee4252You’ve commented quite a lot. You’re clearly miserable, and at this rate you’ll stay miserable. You’re also a misandrist and I’m sorry your life sucks but b*tching about men won’t help.

[@private-private]

A man would want to be a fool to get married to a woman in 2023. Marriage is over. Dont do it.

[@danilaroche1156]

Are you KIDDING me? This is exactly what the devil wants. God says in the Bible that marriage is honorable. That adulterors are fornicators will be judged.

[@private-private]

@@danilaroche1156 Who?...

[@danilaroche1156]

@@private-private The Bible says that adulterors & fornicators ( premarital sex) God will judge. Marriage is a covenant that God originated. I hope your not watching porn. You probably are. No criticism here. You really need Christ in your life.

[@private-private]

@@danilaroche1156 Ok. Thanks.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

Men benefit more from marriage than women. I'm more surprised that women are still getting married.

[@baus7]

I see this so often now. The woman being the breadwinner is the reason for about 75% of divorces. They see their husband as less than and care more about their careers and reputation than their family.

[@Abril-1234]

I make more than my husband not because I put my career over him, but I work hard and am ambitious and want to be compensated well for the hours I’m working.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Uhh..so...Men can just apply themslevrs like the poster above me and make more money, right? Problem solved

[@Michael_Arnold]

Women are a nicely-packaged pain delivery system

[@Clare-tea]

You sound like you are too.

[@callmeishmaelk767]

Feminism in a nutshell is like giving the keys to the family car to a 12yo. The results will be the same.

[@JohnDretired]

Rreeeeeee!

[@rodneygaul2227]

I have been retired since 42 years old , I am now 58 and never married and a confirmed bachelor . If I wanted the stress of working for an arrogant boss , I'd still be working I'm not a Chad or Tyrone because I'm bald , BUT I have the magic 6"s otherwise ( over 6 foot , 6 inches , 6 figure salary , nice house , nice apartment , nice car , bike and truck ) and G/F doesn't get to move in . The Women I have dated (100's) / lived with (9) have always wanted to compete with me on who makes more ( I keep my money separate from "hers" and don't use mine on "her" household expenses ) and PO that I get to goof off most of the day now . It's not hard to do Laundry , Cook , Clean , Dust , Sweep , with a machine , take HER kids to school and pick-up , help with HER kids home work and get in a round of Golf in everyday . And all have made the mistake of speaking to me like a child , and that is the start of the end of the relationship . Usually within a week , as you can't fix ingrained Fem-bot-ism . No P- sleeve is worth that , ( if they where a man "we'd" take outside and play 32 pick with his/her teeth . But that is not allowed because she's a woman ) You can't even yell back ...... That's how you get assault charges , domestic violence and Grape charges The Juice isn't worth the Squeeze on western women

[@jamesbecker3420]

You sound like a real badass, lol...

[@rodneygaul2227]

@@jamesbecker3420 no , it is deciding on what you want and set a "goal" , then you work for it 60 to 80 hours a week for years . P-sleave is easy to get . Have the resources she wants OR be a Chad / Tyrone / tattooed bad boy with game . Don't be rude or arrogant BUT do NOT be a nice guy ( door mat for them ) . Go out and be yourself while having fun . Women will notice and be curious . Be polite to them but basically ignore them except to be polite , women love a challenge and mystery . Also never tell her the whole truth about yourself , let her figure it out . If she thinks her magic P-sleave can trap your assets/ attention , she will be around to catch your attention . Always date more than one unless you are foolish enough to get serious with one In Thailand they have the 3 day rule , Never stay with one woman more than 3 days at a time . 3 days with her and then 3 days with different woman otherwise that is when your little head starts thinking more than big head . Western countries need the men to adopt this rule as modern women already practice this rule until "the wall" is getting close for them

[@christinarichie6171]

Regurgitation... I've never read a comment like that before. Well I hope you get on okay in those nursing homes. Sorry I meant euthanasia factories.

[@2780-l2k]

In most cases in my experience people attract what they are. So if you’re superficial enough to define yourself by 666, instead of who God says you are in His word; then it’s not going to be a genuinely good time for you now or when you’re older. Honestly defining a human by their genitalia (p-sleeve), said enough about how you see the opposite sex. Same goes for women who reduce men to such metrics. I pray you find authentic peace and uncircumstantial joy.