A Divorce Attorney's Thoughts On Love and Marriage-James Sexton

[@Airestotle09]

This guy was born to be attorney. The right amount of mental fortitude, grace and harsh truth in a human

[@ww3032]

It feels like he has been through a lot of shit to grow into what he is today.

[@fermentedfruit]

@@ww3032no shit sherlock

[@kalicperry6940]

Or maybe he's been an attorney for 20 years lmao

[@robt3407]

​@@kalicperry6940or he's been watching MGTOW and manosphere videos

[@kyoko703]

Facts!!!

[@leonardschneider2797]

"people will lie to their therapist but they won't lie to their divorce lawyer", one of like 40 gems in this video

[@GrubKiller436]

Depending on what it is, you can still get into serious trouble if you reveal certain things to your therapist. You hypothetically have more legal safety with your lawyer than your therapist.

[@brianstonesthrow2727]

@@GrubKiller436 Yes, you need to lie to your therapist until you know you can trust them. And that may be never. They will take what you say and report you and it could be groundless.

[@tonyale749]

My ex is still not honest to his lawyer, doubt he is honest to his therapist.

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

I'm making that my Facebook headline

[@Thrusthamster]

That's funny, the longer I work as a lawyer the more I get surprised how stupid people are with withholding essential information from me when all I do is try to help them

[@crruan1142]

"If you can't talk about hard things you have no business getting married" Wise words to be married by.

[@hbennett5640]

So true!

[@deirdremorris9234]

Truth

[@dana102083]

I say that about ALL relationships..friends, boyfriends and absolutely marriage.

[@cjaxn9502]

Yes!! That part!

[@LSBUFU]

There's most definitely some underlying misogyny that influenced this conversation.

[@chrissullivan6572]

I could listen to him talk all day. He has a wealth of book smarts, street smarts, experience and a way with words.

[@danahodgson7478]

Agreed! His podcast appearances have taught me so much.

[@tragickingdom69]

Strange times when a divorce lawyer is the best marriage counselor you've ever seen.

[@robnasty6835]

Seriously

[@Chowerman]

makes sense though as he's seen everything people shouldn't do

[@ypanso]

Best comment

[@HonestTherapist]

As a licensed therapist myself, I couldn’t agree more.

[@rosemaroon6407]

It is not strange at all. It’s honestly the most obvious thing. You only understand the concept of things when you have seen the worst. You then begin to understand the underlying fundamentals to get through it.

[@MsFitVegan]

The “I’m not happy why should you be happy” was powerful. The entire interview was phenomenal

[@lilyann168]

I literally watch this dynamic play out with my brother and his wife almost every time I visit. It's wild.

[@stella-vu8vh]

that's such a sad way to live and i don't understand why people act that way. my ex wife was that way and it made things so hard

[@-._.-KRiS-._.-]

@@stella-vu8vh Because there's no one else to talk to. In marriage, you're expected to bring all your vents and frustrations to your significant other but when you do, they take it personally even though you were just trying to work through your emotions to figure out where they were coming from and how to move past them. This is why he's spot on that no single other person can be the 'everything' to another. Sometimes, you just need to vent in order to figure out how you truly feel about something but if you only have the subject of the venting to vent to, too many negative emotions start to entangle into everything and it can become near impossible to disentangle.

[@miimonalisa]

@KetoFattywhat does that mean

[@ruthrose1000]

Not every woman is like tjis just so you know. I continued to do sweet things for him.. small gifts, notes, kindness.. as he did less and less. It broke my heart. It was not even about material things.. just sleep next to me or hold my hand, but no. He slept on the couch, would not hold my hand.. oh well

[@TannerBraungardt]

Felt like every other sentence was worth writing down… incredible interview!!

[@BeEazy1992]

You're speaking the truth im on my 5Th playback

[@johnb6850]

Does every stock lose value if you hold it too long ? No

[@alexperez706]

lol, that's what you got from this?!?!? hahahahah....@@johnb6850

[@nathalieruiz3817]

Yes, so much so that I actually paused the video to get a pen and paper! Ha!

[@MrSuperultramegaguy]

​@johnb6850 yeah. Not every stock loses value if you hold it too long. And?

[@joshw1253]

I texted my fiancé to tell her I love her and I can’t wait to marry her while watching this video. She said it made her day. Take from this video whatever you want, wisdom is wisdom

[@kimlove3040]

Prenup or no prenup? Genuine question, at least knowing what you know for, this video.

[@mirandagaga9221]

Get a prenup!

[@klarissalj]

This isn’t the flex you think it is. You’re just announcing you learned nothing from someone whose career is damage control for people and couples like yall. But ignorance is bliss, for awhile at least. It’s ok to learn from people who have more life experience.

[@fragrantbloom]

@klarissalj what 😂 how did you come to this conclusion from that comment?

[@henriquebecker2713]

@@klarissalj A divorce laywer will only see the marriages that end in divorce, and none of the "forever happy marriages". There may be wisdom here, as well but surely there is also a LOT of bias.

[@wot4me2]

I NEVER thought I'd listen to a divorce attorney for an hour, but Jim's societal insights are fascinating! Great interview, please have him back.

[@isacece1334]

Agree!

[@runningkirkwa2934]

Jim is a very smart, cool dude. My dad was a divorce lawyer for 30 years. Its a tough job

[@marianaruiz213]

Totally agree 😂❤

[@stacystoneberger9817]

I like this guy! He’s super real. Thanks Mark!

[@dov111]

Same here

[@ModernMusic831]

“Falling feels like flying for a little while until you hit the ground” ONE OF THE RAWEST INTERVIEWS IVE SEEN

[@alisterfolson]

'Falling isn't bad. It's that sudden stop at the end." - Indiana Jones

[@NotSuperwoman]

No fr! I replayed that back like 4 more times😂

[@ibewcountry]

Rawfully true, I might add.

[@ibewcountry]

@@NotSuperwomannice username.

[@aj_himm]

frr

[@Scott-iw5ji]

This is the EXACT guy you want to be drinking whiskey with in a dark quiet bar. I could listen to his stories for days.

[@iu.5146]

But you would never have him as opposing council in your divorce 😂😂😂

[@marydecouvertes3789]

Paul Auster? 😏

[@dukedenile4871]

This is one of the best interviews I have even watched.

[@aimfuldrifter]

He would probably start talking sh*t after a couple shots. :P

[@JohnBoyed-fo6fm]

The valuable knowledge that he has will save a lot of men

[@RyanLeeGalea]

James is the type of man whom you can talk about every subject and turns out interesting.

[@mikes1063]

“Falling feels like flying…until you hit the ground.” Fabulous quote!

[@deadbutworking]

"falling feels like flying until bones crush" ~ Taylor Swift

[@natest.the.greatest]

Have you seen Crazy Heart yet?

[@cici3505]

Not sure if I agree with that. Flying is against gravity and failing is the opposite

[@carolinereidartist]

100%

[@darkylinky288]

it's been quoted by other people and in songs before, he's not the original source

[@Scientist_Salarian]

Incredible conversation. We all just got $500-1000/hr. worth of advice for free. One of the best things you can do for marital health is listen to guys like this. It’s just as important to know how marriages turn bad as how they stay strong.

[@SlowMoMofo]

💯 You broke that down nicely 100%. Made me realize it that was as well thank you. This is truly a gem here..

[@oktaxi4503]

Well said bro. Priceless experience here

[@realjcoop182]

This was an hour consultation for free 🔥

[@glorias.2930]

Seriously! Where's the "Buy Me a Coffee" link? 😁

[@bigjuni2102]

Sadly its a price on everything

[@iamandreadaniela]

Give this man a show! His way of expressing himself is captivating.

[@ibrahimalharbi3358]

Why white rich men are so ignorant about other people culture and religion? In Saudi, we have high increase divorce last ten years! In Islam we don't have this nonsense about marriage like Catholic marriage or Alimony!

[@Hardawayfits]

Foreal he is entertaining 😅 He said I'll f*** that guy for 200 million dollars 😂

[@IARRCSim]

yeah. He's hilarious.

[@dougb4956]

Yes, he is. But most intelligent, educated, successful and thoughtful people are similar in my experience.

[@FrankskinOrweed-ep4ij]

@dougb4956 Those 4 qualities are very different though&often mutually exclusive tbh. Educated and successful do not even sit in the same category as intelligence, which largely refers to emotional and social intelligence, which is often ironically lacking amongst those in highest levels of education or ‘success’. Success through money doesn’t lead to buying class, personality emotional intelligence or what i would consider the true things that make u rich- loved ones who care about u and good health! Just my random thoughts

[@KarimJovian]

This dude is a legend and speaks for a lot of us Men. Literally put the words of how I wanted to explain it for a long time. Divorce sucks but it sucks even worse to be stuck with someone who doesn't fit your needs

[@2KINGS19v25]

I’m in that situation bro!

[@FossKhan]

This divorce attorney needs his own KZbin channel or podcast, his personality had me glued to the screen, what a real dude

[@tootstoyou1]

Yep. Agreed. He was hypnotic to listen to!! And not hard on the eyes either 😂

[@greenIMONSTER008]

He has a IG acc But I can't remember the @

[@greenIMONSTER008]

Found it! It's @nycdivorcelawyer

[@mackpeter6591]

I thought so too. You can't make these things up

[@emilykozel5087]

He does

[@cherryhazard8002]

"I wanna see how it looked like when these people loved each other." Genuinely made me tear up, what a beautiful sentiment.

[@aceshigh5157]

i wonder how many people actually loved each other, or got married for other reasons like societal expectations (have to be married by x age, otherwise people will think i'm x,y,z so i'll just settle down with this person) or finances (if we get married we'll pay less taxes). or how many marriages are actually deeply connected.. most people aren't deep, most people haven't done the internal work to be able to actually connect with their spouse or even themselves.

[@kimmyp3407]

😅 0:41 😅😅 0:41 😅😅😅 1:06

[@GrubKiller436]

Their toxic side isn't revealed yet in the honeymoon stage.

[@LuxeMindsetVibes]

“I don’t envy people being married for a long time because that’s not the goal. The goal is to be HAPPILY married.” So true. I wasn’t expecting to listen for an entire hour but he is charismatic, informative, and honest ❤

[@getmoneychill6462]

To me it’s no way in hell any man who’s married is happy.Having sex with the same woman year after year is atrocious.

[@loridean.5986]

@@getmoneychill6462 and the same for goes for her having the same man, such is life…

[@kaylasheppard7746]

​@getmoneychill6462 I'm sorry you feel that way. You're probably trolling, but hopefully you find true love someday.

[@srm0520]

I completely agree. Whenever people just blindly applaud couples who have been married forever, I kinda don’t get it. They could be in a horrible relationship. It’s really not the quantity of years but the quality

[@amalksuresh286]

​@@srm0520but isn't Married like a wave of happiness and sad,just like any other things in life.

[@ItsAlwaysFunnyUntil]

Hearing things like this makes me all the more grateful for my own marriage. My marriage isn't perfect but after one a decade together we sure do love eachother and we are LOYAL. I can't imagine living life with all these uncertain and self sabotaging thoughts in your head.

[@lwgray3]

The best marriage advice I have ever gotten was “seek first to understand, then be understood” It’s not easy. We are so caught up in the way we feel all the time, but this will get you through a lot.

[@fastlane1132]

100%

[@Hana_goes_East]

St Francis of Assissi

[@onyxstone4618]

Your marriage will end in divorce.

[@Alphacentauri819]

First understand yourself, understand your needs, your boundaries, understand how to discern red flags, understand how to communicate clearly, calmly, and directly. Understand your biases, your core wounds, your cognitive distortions, your maladaptive patterns. Understand your attachment style. Self understanding is paramount to being able to connect to and understand another human. We cannot seek to understand anyone, when we haven't cleared out our own stuff. Then, yes, seek to understand...before demanding someone understand you. However, if it's not reciprocal, know that it won't work.

[@francoisnel5253]

Yeah, for the man to try and understand and apologize and admit he is wrong while women are never wrong as they are too used to being told everything they do is empowering even when using men for selfish means.

[@cuppa_joe]

36:45 - "How are you going to be married to someone, have children with someone, and you can't talk about hard things such as a prenup? How are you going to navigate life together and not be able to talk about hard things? If you can't then don't get married". So very true. Hit the nail on the head.

[@Bubbles-od2tv]

Prenups should be mandatory, then no difficult conversations will need to be had!

[@cuppa_joe]

@@Bubbles-od2tv That will most likely never happen unfortunately.

[@vedranromac1046]

I don't know when was the last time I saw such a vibrant and energetic combination of teaching, consulting, coaching and stand-up comedy. Thanks Mark for this one. This man got me back on my feet after so many sex offenders and victims, addicts, prostitutes and all the other poor and broken people I met through your videos. A necessary counterbalance. Excellent!

[@Tammy-jl2io]

This descriptive is ON POINT! Excellent!

[@froufou100]

That's exactly what I waa thinking!

[@zeezeezee3110]

I had to click right away when i saw how different the one getting interviewed in the video. such a fresh story, something different but still hits home

[@sweetteagrits3822]

Agreed!! I was going down the dark rabbit hole too much!

[@vedranromac1046]

@@TheRoseAnthology I agree completely. Most of Mark's videos are like training for empathy with the working title "Faith - saddle on the horse of life between good and evil". This video is like a bottle of cold clear water handed to you by a nice waiter while saying "Brain!...come on!...turn your head on!"

[@benf340]

Not sure if there has ever been an hour of youtube where I’ve been so attuned to every word the person was saying, very fascinating and valuable insight.

[@invisigoat]

This man cut through all of our societal presuppositions and traditions like a hot knife. Extremely insightful.

[@lookoutforchris]

Our traditions were demolished a long time ago. He’s commenting on the rubble. Marriage is a religious institution older than human history. Maybe if non-believers stopped highjacking a religion they’re not part of it would stop blowing up in their faces.

[@AlahuSnackbar]

@@lookoutforchris Our legal system doesn't reflect what marriage is from a traditional or religious standpoint.

[@KINGAMIIAMKING]

​@@lookoutforchris Marriage is a government institution and wealth extraction.

[@evacope1718]

​@@KINGAMIIAMKINGtoday it is but the heart of marriage is god, that's why you get married in a church or a synagogue/mosque etc. People took God out of the equation which makes their vows easier to break.

[@cadenhnc]

@@KINGAMIIAMKING That doesn't disprove what he said

[@TahoeSnowbird]

If you find your soulmate and true love, marriage is Heaven on Earth. My husband and I were blessed with that kind of love for 52 years (married for 51 years 4 months and 21 days,) He's in Heaven now, waiting for me. I miss him beyond measure.

[@meredithcoleman446]

This is so precious

[@jessebaseal6577]

I'm really sorry for the loss ❤️

[@TOMMY-WANT-WINGY]

Wow. It's does exist. Is it possible to find it before divorce?

[@tproudboomer5965]

@@TOMMY-WANT-WINGY😂😂😂

[@TahoeSnowbird]

@@jessebaseal6577 Thank you. Whenever I am depressed about being without him, I have to remind myself I was very blessed to have shared his life and love for all those years, and we'll be together again.

[@DJ33970]

I'm 25 minutes into this interview and I would already rank this as your #1 interview so far. Please have this man back for more videos!

[@ammievdm8190]

Agreed. Video of the year!! (Every year)😅

[@ubuntu6929]

I agree. its one thing to be interesting, its another to be able to talk about something not tied to you, yet is so universal and directly affects so many people! married and unmarried. and to talk about it objectively and critically is extremely powerful. this one interview is an insight to millions of marriages! Marriage as a state entity and marriage as a partnership are 2 different things completely! we should understand this before we even consider getting married!

[@thesilverladylifts2708]

Agreed!

[@Jasjasjas71]

Recently married at 20.. so incredibly insightful and i feel so lucky to have come across this video when i did. I could listen to you talk for hours and wish you had a podcast or a show! The things you said about social media in this video has really resonated with me given the fact that i am a young married woman, and because of the damage that social media could do in a relationship, we both have decided not to have those apps, and we have been together for 4 years. Nothing like comparison will really affect a perfectly fine relationship. 3 years social media free and till this day i believe everything you see is definitely just during their biggest hits. When you said it’s the little things, i’ve had about 6 things i could think of that my husband does for me consistently that i sometimes take for granted and don’t realize how important it has been for our relationship. Im so thankful for this interview and i truly hope to see more of you wether you start writing books or doing more interviews!

[@RainForestLeDoux]

You got this. Marriage is beautiful. I'm 34 and married... its ups and downs are great. Don't do things you'll regret.. be nice.. you'll be good. Peace to you and your family

[@JoshuaaColin]

Nah you married wayyy to early. Good luck. Your gonna need it.

[@rich_mc]

I can't begin to express how much I wish I'd seen this 20 years ago. It should be required watching for everyone in today's society.

[@jesperburns]

Are there some insights coming then? Because 12 minutes in and his demeanour is getting on my nerves.

[@brennenbisme]

@@jesperburnsHe’s being real. His demeanor presents 0 fakeness. Probably why it gets on your nerves. No catering.

[@jesperburns]

@@brennenbisme his information is real but there's very few people alive faker than him

[@art8kitty482]

What have you learned from it? That men think with their di** till late retirement age?

[@Chris_Picklepants]

Isn't that always the story? Listen up young men.

[@Keralite29]

_"Being married is great sometimes, the problem is you're married all the time."_ Great quote. Great interview. So many nuggets of insight. So many relevant analogies on-hand for the scenarios he was discussing. That quote is one of several that I could have listed here.

[@cyano741]

People make the mistake of going for attraction instead of compatibility. Morals/values/, integrity, politics, kids, marriage, sex, careers, finances, religion, world view, temperament, communication, household, past trauma, personality traits etc. They have to be compatible. Liking each other simply is not enough. Laying it all out on the table. Will it always be 100% perfect? No. But life is a struggle, the rest is teamwork. You better stick with someone who compliments your assets and weak spots. You will come to find, life is much nicer when you have someone by your side who has your best interest at heart.

[@musashi542]

thats a good thing for me

[@GGCandle]

This comment is also great sometimes.

[@sssuperstacy]

There were 4 -6 quotes i wanted to jot down... alas

[@fermentedfruit]

@@cyano741religion is something that shouldn’t make you get married. it’s all a lie

[@cynthiatorres4320]

"I don't think I can learn everything about myself from myself, I need someone who can see my blind spots" ❤ I love that!

[@subspacescout9951]

I concur.

[@SuperJJParker]

I read this comment the exact moment he said it.

[@WrenEverett-x3d]

This video really hit home for me. The way it talks about love and second chances made me think of my own situation. My fiancé left me after five years, and I’ve been struggling to move on.

[@PatriciaHarris-s8v]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been in a similar place, and it’s so hard. But I found someone who truly helped me.

[@WrenEverett-x3d]

Who helped you? Did they really make a difference?

[@PatriciaHarris-s8v]

Yes, they did. His name is Father Akabu. He’s a spiritual counselor who specializes in restoring relationships. He’s the reason I got my partner back.

[@WrenEverett-x3d]

That’s amazing. Do you think he could help me too?

[@PatriciaHarris-s8v]

I’m certain he can. He’s truly gifted and has helped so many people.

[@Leila-ie3ms]

“I don’t think I can learn everything about myself from myself”perfect!

[@londondaze]

That was it. For me it was the best line in the whole thing, too.

[@nightfighter7452]

I can

Big if true!

[@letsgetdoing]

When did you and yourself learn you like cum shakes. Shaken. Not stirred.

[@LarryWilliamsArtist]

I actually think it's the exact opposite.

[@rollingtinfist]

60:00 phenomenal interview. I had an aunt who died at almost 80 after about 60 years married. My uncle in a private moment told me, life without her never occurred to him. They went through so much together and still maintained their love and devotion to each other, despite war, exile, etc.

[@SeemaRamkissoon]

"the skill set for a father is completely different to the skill set of a husband" this man nailed it

[@carlcampbell6827]

In my opinion, America has produced and is in the process of producing abject losers as fathers.

[@juless7807]

I disagree. Doing the right thing even when it's hard or not what you want to do, putting in time and effort to show love, consideration for how your choices affect those you love, prioritizing their happiness and safety, not holding onto resentment... The skill set is the same. It's just effected very differently.

[@TheAdderalDiaries]

@@juless7807​​⁠As a man I don’t think you are talking about the same thing that he was implying in his male brain. If I am correct; because I agree 100% with his comment and what it means to me is that as a father who is a a full time single dad of a son I got custody of 5 years ago. (Me and his mom dated in college, split when he was 6mo old). I got him every other weekend. He is my 1 true love. Business owner who worked 100 hours per week even while I had custody, but covid came and destroyed that business and so I created a different business. These small things are important to the context, and I’m getting to it. When I got custody of him, I completely stopped dating. And the reason I stopped dating is a woman takes so much time, money and effort. And that’s not a bad thing, if you love her you love her. But as a father, my priority is my child, above everything else. Above a woman, and even myself. But as a man, it’s important to be happy with yourself and your accomplishments before you invest in a wife. If you do not, it’s going to fail. Because no man will ever be secure enough, to ge happy enough, and trust enough. Regardless of what you look like. Men are not women. To men, our looks mean absolutely nothing. We play very different games in life, and most girls don’t realize it, and many feminist would love to deny it. But it’s true. A man’s value is in his status and resources, and woman’s is in her looks. It’s been this way since the dawn of mankind. All the proof you need is to look up who owns the most yachts, and it’s men. Yet, you see far more women on yachts on social Media, why is that? You never see the men. The reason is, these types of girls don’t want to show the man. Because everyone knows that’s not her yacht, and everyone knows what she’s had to do to be on that yacht popping $500 bottles. And it was being born beautiful. That’s it. She probably doesn’t even have a job. Because men do not give a shit about a woman’s wealth or status, we only care about her looks it’s the opposite for woman. This is why is said a man must be secure in himself and happy with where he is in life regardless of how good looking He is. His looks will Get him laid, but his status is what will make him secure and happy to be able to be a good husband emotionally later. But we already have the skill set to be a father, it’s a genetic thing all fathers that are “good dads” have for their kids. We are willing to put everything in our lives on old in order to provide them the best life and get them raised and we will worry about our Dating life and marriage later. I realize this is not the norm, and that’s the problem. Most men are miserable and most men will never be where they want to be because of these choices and wasting time with women. So it takes a emotionally skill set to be able to work 100 hours per week, still show up for your kids school activities and raise them. There is no room for the skill set it takes to be a good husband at this point. A new study realized show that single father households do just as good as two parents households and single women households have nightmare statistics attached to them. It’s because men and women are very different, and we are good at different things. Single moms who although may be raising their kids, maybe 1% of them would stop dating to focus solely on their kids and they end up just sleeping with tons of men chasing happiness they will never find. Because men and women value different things. Men are going to sleep with her. But men don’t want the single mom who has 3 kids and 2 baby daddies. Women make very poor choices in this part of life because women are creatures of emotion and men are creatures of logic and ambition. And the ambitious women are feminist all trying to compete with men, when men don’t even think of things like this and we damn sure don’t want to have a marriage with those women. So men and women are very different in how we think and the truth about our lives being very different can always come down to the yacht. A hot woman can be on a yacht anytime by spreading her legs, but a man has to buy that yacht to be on it. So because of this, it’s easy for us to use our skills as being a father vs our skills at being a husband. We can’t do both until we are happy with ourselves.

[@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq.]

In a sane society, the being a husband essentially _IS_ being a father. You protect, provide for, and preside over a woman like her father did and she accepts your patriarchy. The only real differences are intimacy and parenting. Why do you think girls who have great relationships with their fathers get guys like their fathers? Why do you think girls who had bad relationships and are starved for the imposition of wise authority mean _"DADDY!"_ during shrekx? The problem is that we've been taught to treat them like equal partners when we never evolved to be that liberal democratic fantasy.

[@juless7807]

@@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. Sorry, you don't own your wife. Those women were not protected, they were slaves. They were (and in many ways/places still are) expected to be an on-demand s3x toy, cook, maid, sole caregiver, waitress, hostess, and PR rep. And, if they didn't, they were beaten, stoned, killed, etc. If they didn't do it with a smile on their faces, they were told there's something wrong with them, and then probably beaten. They did not accept patriarchy- they had no choice. You can't choose something you are not given a choice in. GTFO

[@SubaruDriverWRX]

This guy!!! I found my new spirit animal!! This is as honest as it gets! Thank you

[@dammithoppie1]

My mother was married and divorced four times before I was 25. I saw what it does to people up close and personal. Before I got married I sat down with future spouse and created a prenup, and 10.5 years later when we decided to call it quits we sat down and split everything just like Jim said, yours, mine and ours. We never fought over anything and 23 years later we're still friends. I 100% agree with Jim's take on marriage. Another outstanding interview Mark!!

[@tara34952]

This is a fine example of how it should be done. You have my respect.

[@jamesc2545]

4 times in 7 years… dang man mom was a mess

[@daniellebailey6802]

Same. I still haven't been married. Lol

[@malik_alharb]

Do you regret the marriage

[@wavybebes6979]

@@RetireandGoyou need to think about what it’ll be like for a kid to grow up with older parent(s)

[@THE_Glass_Grizzly]

"You're going to die, does that undermine your life?" Is such a great way to look at this whole thing, honestly. This was a very good conversation to have.

[@jax993]

It’s the 1 thing you can count on 😂

[@bone6495]

In divorce your waman will take at least half of your money and property, your children too more importantly. You will loose your friends and family who will almost certainly not be on your side. Death is preferable for many who go trough this.

[@KJ-lb4tj]

​@@bone6495yup, divorce is not something you want.

[@arandompasserby7940]

"We are prehistoric creatures living in medieval institutions with God-like technology" Damn, that one floored me. One of the best SWU interviews by far

[@stephaniehayesbusiness]

I agree. Paraphrased or original, the thinking is solid.

[@Skyecaster101]

That is the best description for us that I've ever heard.

[@mckenziejoseph3505]

Profound. Have to remember that.

[@house0paine535]

@@stephaniehayesbusinessIt is a paraphrased from a quote by Edward O. Wilson, “the problem of humanity is the following: We have Paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions and godlike technology.”

[@dysmissme7343]

Damn

[@civilarms247]

Dude is just engrained with a wealth of knowledge, philosophy around his craft, and seems like genuine guy. Just binged both his interviews with SWUB and there wasn’t a sentence I didn’t find interesting. Need more people like this 👍

[@hassansyed6087]

"Why would you want to learn how to fight, IN A FIGHT??" That hit home for me. This whole podcast was a revelation. True enlightenment from a marriage soldier. He fights for each side but he soldiers forward.

[@cstuartdc]

Really really enjoyed the podcast. That said while his thesis is that marriage is an outdated and failed technology he didn’t present an alternative to raising children. Mom lives on oak street and Dad on maple in the same town? Single moms? A bunch of bitches in the same house? Single dads? Dad gets every Wednesday night and every other weekend (vanilla visitation schedule). If my sons want kids what are they supposed to do? Live in the basement while mom upstairs? Bird nesting? (Dad and mom alternate weeks in same house and buzz off on alternate weeks) Its easy to criticize; it’s hard to synthesize.

[@nidakhan3290]

“I would love to see what it looked like when these people loved each other” such a heart-trending quote

[@dominiquemcclaney128]

When he said that I just automatically knew it was the complete opposite going on. It's like they hate each other now. But it's good that even as a divorce attorney he knows that they did love each other at some point.

[@bongamnguni3982]

He did say that he believes in love, so It makes sense for him to say that.@@dominiquemcclaney128

[@jarkachalmovianska7812]

​@@dominiquemcclaney128they were in love... maybe not loved each other

[@chitlinjuice]

​​@@dominiquemcclaney128I'll be the unpopular opinion here and say they never loved each other. They just loved what each other did at one point and got tired of it. True love doesn't dissolve like that. It was mostly lust and a shallow version of happiness that most couples experience.

[@taylorspastpresent1014]

@@chitlinjuiceI agree. When he said you didn’t sleep with your husband for 6 years. What did you think would happen. There was no conversation over Six years at all about why sex wasn’t occurring. That’s insane. Was she sick, was their sexual assault trauma? Was he a jerk to her emotionally? Was she cheating? Like what in the world. Marriage is complex and not the source of our happiness. Jesus is.

[@FootlessJo]

This is such an important conversation. Getting married is so ridiculously easy - getting divorced tears every piece of your life apart. I hope we can keep having more conversations about this as a society and take a closer look at the technology of marriage.

[@meredithheath5272]

So agree - it should be the other way around - marrying should be way harder than divorce. Therefore, obtaining contraception and abortion should be way easier as well.

[@doctordef324]

You said it!!! Easy marriage in like 30 minutes flat, divorce, years!!!!!!!!!!

[@blissdad13]

Men Control access to marriage. Not women. Its easy only for for women who were raised to be wives to get proposals.. meaning they are nurturing. attractive... fit... loyal etc... oh yea and they have to be willing to settle for beta providers... a very small percentage of women fit this criteria.. and as a result. Men are proposing way less percentage wise than we ever have in civilized human history.. there is little benefit for Men to do so...average beckys such as yourself are now largly only going after the select top level men..and those men have options.. so why buy the cow....... please do not let all the sympathy simps in your comments and inbox, telling you every day that they want to drink your bath water, give you a false reality of what's really going on in these streets.. in the black community for instance only 1 out of 4 black women will ever get married.

[@גקדןרק]

The way you tried to sneak in abortion in there on a video about marriage and divorce is very telling...

[@FootlessJo]

@@גקדןרק ...where? Sorry, I'm confused?

[@LilyOlivia-p3s]

Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.

[@Adakataba]

Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.

[@LilyOlivia-p3s]

It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?

[@Adakataba]

Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.

[@Adakataba]

He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.

[@LilyOlivia-p3s]

I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤

[@amandaslay6045]

I’m so glad he brought up social media. People don’t realize how “dangerous” it can be for relationships. He explained it perfectly, it’s an entry point

[@beatewagner7.2934]

True! But here he has forgotten to mention the influence of digital p***ography / OF / IG / Dating apps for casual pleasure plus the whole issue of addiction. It's brutally devastating for relationships and society... I guess finding "old friends" on Facebook is here the smallest part.

[@TheSpringMood]

It's a good idea for married couples to share a joint account instead of having separate accounts on social media.

[@kekkic]

totally agree, social media is a temptation. @@TheSpringMood

[@beatewagner7.2934]

@@TheSpringMood What kind of foundation of trust is this for a relationship? 🤔

[@TheSpringMood]

@@beatewagner7.2934 Nice question. I believe trust is vital in marriage but a healthy married couple should have many of the same friends and share experiences together therefore separate accounts aren't needed unless you have something to hide.

[@nqobilemalaza9838]

James Sexton has a book [How To Stay In Love] and a podcast he co-hosts [Argue in Peace]. Both are brilliant... This man's brand of practical honesty is what we need more of. And he's so right about kindness - costs nothing but it can mean so much. Thanks for the conversation, SWU.

[@wtfmusic1961]

Hi, thanx

[@CCCBYT]

That is what I thought, he should write a book. And then I read your comment, he is brilliant.

[@PrettyandThings]

This guy deserves his own podcast, talk show, or KZbin channel. He is infinitely charismatic and entertaining. Most of these interviews are so depressing. It's nice to watch one with a guest who is smart, insightful, interesting, informative and funny as hell. Love this one!

[@eugenealymov2723]

I agree, more of this is needed. Alcoholics and fentanyl addicts aren't very interesting, on average.

[@yanicyoda4762]

hell Yeah.a lot more of these types

[@jeffcherry1643]

@@eugenealymov2723 True. Would have liked to have heard this 36 years ago ! He has a very realistic take on life and marriage

[@atlntcostv7293]

He sounds like a fake ass mayor carcetti from the wire

[@fyingfish9370]

He is famous actually! He has been invited by a lot of tv talkshows, podcasts etc. Yea but none of his own show

[@BrettWae]

Probably the best hour(~) I've ever spent on youtube. What a conversation.

[@jness2312]

His views on marriage are pragmatic, without being jaded. James is a captivating story teller. I hope you bring him back.

[@lrbiloski]

As a fellow divorce attorney, his statements are 100% accurate! Loved listening to him.

[@KD400_]

Then u know y most men r walking away from marriage

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@KD400_ Women are walking away from marriage, also. Whether guy or girl, treat them well or they will find someone who will.

[@KD400_]

@@FreeSpirit47 judging by ur profile picture I'm sure u had tons of offers but u chose to walk away. It's not positive btw.

[@Dewane1511]

@@FreeSpirit47 WHY is it always tit for tat wit women

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@Dewane1511 Nothing is always anything. Tit for tat is an aspect of life. Cause & effect. Light & dark. It's a balance present all through life.

[@5stelle88]

Please bring more episodes with this attorney. This is an extremely smart man and obviously very well versed in what he does. You could maybe even think about making him talk about other entirely different topics. Thank you for what you do Mark

[@theangriestoftabbies]

He’s been on other podcasts

[@chelle3524]

I agree. Very well-articulated, intelligent man. I would love to hear his thoughts on many topics.

[@taylorc2542]

What he doesn't incorporate is that marriage is a Christian sacrament.

[@Tomekayf]

I hung on his every word! Fascinating!

[@Talisman09]

He's a creep

[@noahmook5814]

It’s very refreshing to hear someone to be so candid, I found this very interesting.

[@constantineandreu9377]

THIS SHOULD BE MANDATORY VIEWING FOR EVERY ENGAGED COUPLE ON THE PLANET🙏

[@jenwhite6305]

I definitely watched it and engaged.

[@constantineandreu9377]

@@jenwhite6305 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂....my bad! "EVERY"👍

[@xanperia]

This should be mandatory to everybody. I'm single and watching this proved what I already thought - marriage is not for me

[@constantineandreu9377]

@@xanperia I wasn't agreeing with everything he had said.....and I believe in marriage💕

[@JT-cf5ol]

many churches just help to feed the divorce industry. Preach Jesus but give them the whole story. How to live your best life as a married couple but the reality of church people getting divorced is still an issue. Then, when you're going through the divorce industry meat grinder, the church is often nowhere to be found

[@johncitizen8828]

Wise man. Dropping knowledge in every sentence. This should be mandatory viewing for anyone considering getting married.

[@msfilahnee1968]

That's what I said & posted the video link on FB!

[@lydiapetra1211]

I agree with both of you! Sadly we live in a throw away society.... selfishness, lust, greed...addictions, godlessness.... destroy relationships and marriages...

[@DX-d]

He isn’t wise one bit. He has no knowledge about relationships. He’s divorced himself and makes excuses for cheating blaming the partner, wants to have sex with women without having any obligations towards them. His outlook on why marriages fall apart are immature.

[@rileykennedy4273]

Me and my fiancé have been taking pre martial counseling just finished our second session today and got home and watched this 😂

[@frankclements1431]

I know a young man that must watch this. I hope I get him to look at it.

[@Mia50000]

Prompted by James' advice about the little things - I just wrote a message to my husband about how much I appreciate how hard he works for us on a stickie note and put it in his wallet so he sees it in the morning. I do appreciate him and should tell him more rather than assume he knows. Thank you for the reminder.

[@tootstoyou1]

Sweet. ❤. Nice to hear

[@mikey92362]

Men already know that our only value comes from what we can provide. Nothing wrong with acknowledging that. But if you really want to blow his mind, give him a compliment. Most guys go decades without a compliment. We remember every single one because they're so rare. Tell him he's good looking and why. If you do it right, he'll remember that moment for the rest of his life.

[@lynno1974]

@@mikey92362 That's important information, thank you...I have to admit it broke my heart a little.

[@Mia50000]

Thank you@@mikey92362 I will do that as well. Thanks for the insight as to not only tell him he's good-looking but why.

[@absolutetruth3290]

Now next time write him a note that you will give him a BJ tonight and then do it. With high heels on. He will love you forever.

[@danahodgson7478]

James, your insights are priceless. Your thoughts on loss and grief are profound. I would love to read your college thesis on loss. I am so grateful I found Soft White Underbelly. Marriage is not necessary anymore.

[@BrokenToySoldier]

This is one of Mark's best interviews. This guy is great, consulting with him should be a prerequisite for marriage.

[@TheAsiaFM]

This!! He would be great at that!

[@dropsofKarma]

I was expecting a completely jaded, cynical divorce attorney. James absolutely surprised me on how incredibly down to earth he is and still a believer of love. He's right about the little things and you forget those things when you have children too. James absolutely needs his own show.

[@melanierose_1223]

We need a part 2! Bravo! As someone who has been married for 17 years and wants to stay married, this guy is dropping jewels and is worth listening to! ❤

[@steveseclecticadventures1894]

@melanierose, I agree. I would welcome a "Part 2".

[@uselessvideo]

Uhhh I’m not sure theres too much left too discuss cuz this seemed pretty d@mn exhaustive on its own 😆 Dude did a very thorough job on the first pass!

[@hanskloss7726]

@@uselessvideopeople like sequels tho even if they suck. This applies to marriage too...

[@uselessvideo]

@@hanskloss7726 Lol. True indeed.

[@louelmo7349]

Get his book.

[@jessicajayne5205]

I stayed up late to watch this guy! I absolutely love him! His mannerisms, his opinions, everything he’s just brilliant! If I ever get divorced I’d love to hire him 😂 had to leave a comment which I never do cause I could just listen to this guy chat all day! Jim your awsome x

[@pegrathwol]

"Whoever came up with the word Soulmate, we divorce lawyers should be paying that person dividends." Pure Gold!!!

[@ClarisNdoroRealEstate]

Some people do find Soul mates but it 1percent.

[@remoevans7847]

@@ClarisNdoroRealEstateWrong. Given the total number of people in the world, the chances your soulmate happens to live in the same city or work at the same company are zero. It’s a nonsensical term invented for romance novels and movies.

[@lillianjaimez7294]

Off topic ... he resembles Robert Dinero.

[@brek5]

Yes, 100%. And later, he expands on that point a little bit, and it totally is that idea that one person is going to be EVERYTHING for you. It's ridiculous. I am married to a woman from a more "traditional" culture, let's say, and the most remarkable difference is the expectations. I'm not expected to want to go dress up in pink and watch the Barbie movie, and she's not expected to be interested in my sports. We're allowed to be our own people, unapologetically.

[@Farewell_Trash]

I believe soulmates are made, not born. I know my best friend for 14 years, good times and troubles, we share the exact same brain at this point. That's what I call a soulmate.

[@SuperNewsman123]

Another fellow Divorce Lawyer here. Exceptional video, and phenomenal insight into what life is really behind the marital curtain. Bravo to all involved 🙌

[@mithrandirthegrey7644]

Is it really though? I've been married for 14 years and I don't recognize much of this. I guess I got lucky in that I married my neighbor/high school sweetheart. She's the only woman I've ever been with and while I find other women attractive - I've never had the inclination to cheat. I'm extremely happy and satisfied with where we are in our relationship. We're in our mid 30s and by the time we're 40 all our kids will be adults and we will be young-ish and still have time to enjoy our life together. Getting married and having kids early in life is really underappreciated.

[@xIxHaZexIx]

​@@mithrandirthegrey7644you are presenting anecdotal evidence.

[@darlarmartin]

​@mithrandirthegrey7644 which makes you in the percentage that has no issues. He didn't say 100% and I think that is awesome for you and your spouse.

[@paulv8133]

​@mithrandirthegrey7644 very cool, hope she feels the same way.

[@Sam-fp8zm]

@@mithrandirthegrey7644 well done

[@AbdulSensational]

“Falling feels like flying until you hit the ground”…I think this guy should do the premarital counseling for all couples! Very enlightening!

[@meganwagner8291]

He should 100000% be a public speaker! He is so knowledgeable in his field but seems to have so many other talents outside of writing up the same divorce forms every day! Incredibly interesting

[@stevenking9357]

This was by far the best interview I've seen on your channel. I'm 67 and divorced, I'm sending this to my single 22 year old daughter right now, I wish I would have seen this when I was 20. What a life education.

[@jawuansutton]

If you watched it in your 20s what would you have done differently?? Any advice to your younger self?

[@avo-w1s]

@@jawuansuttonplease tag me in the response id love to see as im in my 20s

[@alyssag.5758]

Why would you send this doom and gloom to your daughter? You're horrible.

[@Shornandkenny]

Absolutely, I'm 40 and went through a 100 000 dollar divorce from my addicted ex. Man, what a valuable tid bit of information.

[@Shornandkenny]

@@mstewie9718 it's nice to get a lawyers advice in a different context. A context where money isn't the objective.

[@bmk0967]

This was one of the realist interviews I’ve ever heard. I’d encourage quite literally every single young person to watch this for another perspective. Bravo Mark

[@jojostorm]

This guy has so much knowledge he should start a podcast I could listen to him for hours seriously he can teach a lot of us

[@patriciashearouse1449]

I had the same exact thougth!

[@georgeg2369]

He has - Google him

[@probablynot1368]

He was interviewed for over 3 1/2 hours on the Lex Fridman channel about 3 weeks ago.

[@hirogerthisisme]

I don’t think he has the time…

[@christinecordaro9589]

I said the same thing I could have listened to him for so much longer, I agreed with every word. He speaks truth in such an engaging way.

[@pastethat]

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, but I feel like I now have a much better understanding of both human and spousal relationships after listening to a divorce lawyer. Thank you very much, James!!

[@DaretodoMotivation]

I wish i knew no astronomy when the stars appear....beautiful quote

[@2798-o2d]

lol literally just got to the point in the video where he mentions Brodsky. Guess I shouldn't be reading comments until I've watched the vid. Anyway I hope you read the poem anyway, it's bittersweet.

[@tizodd6]

My ex wife and I were basically highschool sweethearts. We had that stupid, gullible, romcom love. It was a beautiful thing. We would even write to each other, and sign the letters/poems" '97 - ♾" (we met in 1997). After our divorce, I could never truly love again because I knew what pure, boundary-less love was. I also knew what could happen over the years as you got used to another person. I knew the pain and betrayal felt after losing it all. As foolish as that real love was, I still hate the fact that I'll never have it again. I'm just happy and thankful that I was blessed to experience it in my life. Unfortunately...once your eyes are opened to reality, you can never go back to when your eyes were closed.

[@taysenna8025]

@@tizodd6Thanks for sharing your story. By the sounds of it you’re in your 40s, and still have plenty of time left. Why not give it another go? Getting hurt is always a risk so make sure you’re looking after yourself and not becoming too dependant too quick. And accept that it will likely not be the ‘same’ as your love with your ex felt (not better nor worse just different). But idk that’s what I would do if I really craved love that much

[@tizodd6]

@@taysenna8025 Oh no...sorry if I didn't explain myself well. I don't crave that love any more. I wish I could, but I'm no longer capable...that's the problem. I went from being a hopeless romantic in my teens, to being a realist later in life. I know and understand the love we had can't exist for 44 year old me. I've had too many experiences, and have bult too many walls at this point in my life (and so have any potential mates). My post was really just to make the point that "ignorance is bliss", which is essentially what the quote about astronomy is saying. There's wonder and amazement when you don't know any better. That's where romance and true love can exist. Once you know better, there's only facts and lived experiences. Love can't live there. I was just making a comparison between my own experience, and the desire to "know no astronomy when the stars appear". I fully understand, and accept, that there's no going back though. edit: I am very grateful and thankful to God that I was able to experience that real, naive love though. A lot of people go their entire live and never experience it, unfortunately.

[@nannem9716]

​@@tizodd6You're selling yourself short and doing yourself a great disservice. Realistically, your love with your ex was not "boundary-less" because you two divorced. Clearly, you've romanticized and idealized in your head what is was. I understand that you can't fathom it now, but it is entirely possible that your "boundary-less" love is still out there and you haven't met them yet. I understand that it's easier to take the position you have, because daring to love again is incredibly scary. As wonderful as your previous relationship was for you, it was not ideal or it wouldn't have ended. Just take some time to regroup, and keep your mind open. Your best love may still be out there just waiting for you.

[@billdavis6900]

To me this was by far the best SWU interview I've seen. This guy is incredibly wise. It also reminds me how rare my parents were. My parents first met when they were 12 years old, started dating when they were 14, got legally married when they were 16, & stayed married until my Mom died at the age of 82 (3 years ago). My dad was so devastated and lost when my Mom died, he only lived another 7 months.

[@skinnypete3104]

This was so pure it made me tear up

[@billdavis6900]

@@skinnypete3104 Thanks for your reply.

[@Liliana-of7ji]

So wholesome. now im crying

[@Somerandomtileguy]

That is a beautiful story, your parents were very lucky

[@aceshigh5157]

same thing happened with my grandparents - grandpa died less than a year after grandma's passing, even though he was much healthier than her. but in their case it was codependence, not healthy love.

[@MelanieGraceTV]

This is one of the best episodes produced! Highly insightful from many perspectives. The irony of it is that he gave the literal solutions for a successful marriage: 1) Don't compare. 2) Don't be selfish. 3) Feed the marriage. 4) Keep holding hands 5) Become the best version of yourself. A successful marriage isn't winning the lottery. It's a mutual willingness to do the work necessary to create happiness.

[@carlabeavers5837]

YES

[@Streamcatcher]

Yes! I totally agree! This was thr best episode for me so far. This man is just so incredibly on the ball. Amazing stuff, and what you say is true about the points to a successful marriage 💑

[@Borat_Kazakh]

Most of all historically marriage is covenant to raise children. Or heirs to the farm, cattle, patch of land. It was never intended for mutual Happiness.

[@veronicavargas6895]

I believe he could write a fantastic book about this subject

[@mckay7355]

And get a prenup

[@cesarmagalhaes6169]

What an interview ! Wise guy, wise advices, it makes you think and a lot 😄 👏👏 Thanks

[@erinmcguire748]

After seeing so many divorces, he clearly still feels very strongly about people being in love. I saw his eyes get red a few times when he was talking about love. What a great interview.

[@vivere__]

So true, he still believes in the magic

[@independ4416]

I can't help but notice how he contradicted himself toward the end of the video. Initially, he said people shouldn't look at other relationships and make assumptions about how happy two people are. Then he turned around and made those same assumptions about the couple he and his wife went to Disney World with. Other than that, excellent video. I appreciate his wisdom and insight.

[@ungoyone]

@independ4416 I don't disagree with you but I think at first he was talking about general rules concerning marriage/relationships, and the end story was a personal experience that centered around him and his wife more than the other couple. But what do I know...

[@independ4416]

@ungoyone I could be wrong but that personal experience that centered around him and his wife, was influenced by assumptions made from observing the other couple.

[@oswurth8774]

Guy behind the camera sucks at talking, maybe an alright interview but the blue tie should have been let to talk

[@kathleeeeeeeen]

My favorite interview on this channel. The clever analogies; the perfect balance between cynical, realistic, and open-minded; the humorous quips. As someone who has felt like marriage might not be for me, it was extremely validating to hear someone articulate exactly how I feel. I could listen to this man talk for hours.

[@jessicasanchez5765]

I always felt ugly. Approaching 60, and I've never been married. My daughter was born with rare beauty (like Liz Taylor) and the only ones who have courage enough to approach her are not the type of men I want my daughter dating. Seems you can't win either way.

[@andrewthompson6893]

This has to be one of the best monologues I've ever heard. Absolutely epic, and should be watched before a marriage license is issued.

[@charleneharris370]

Yesssss

[@MariaGonzalez-yp9kr]

Absolutely AGREE !!

[@darfel1]

I have to watch this interview multiple times. SO MANY gems in this interview to digest and reflect on!

[@Treestouch]

“Love and marriage have little to do with each other”. This is the first person (Finally!) who knows about what I learned about as a child experiencing the effects of marriage. I’m only a few minutes in and will be sure to listen to the rest of this conversation. Thank you guys!

[@Marcovocal]

Please tell me what you've learned. I Thought love and marriage went together like a horse and carriage. How do they have little to do with each other?

[@Zayindjejfj]

​@@MarcovocalThe ideal is that marriage and love are held together. Especially if you're of a religion that holds marriage as sacrosanct. But today, marriage quite literally is treated as a contract. It's treated as... Something that is done just for the sake of it with no planning or sincerity. Like the guy said, getting married is a blast. But being married is difficult. If you're not able to have long hard discussions... If you're not able to make concessions and necessary sacrifices for one another... If you're not willing to quite literally stay with the person until death.... Just don't get married. Where I disagree with the guy is the idea that marriage as a concept is obsolete or useless. I think it's still important. The backbone of a healthy society. Today it's just treated as something you have to eventually do, and thus people kind of just suffer because they didn't know what to expect. A lot of people are also superficial. And quite frankly are not marriage material.

[@clively6229]

This man needs to 1000% write literature on marriage. He is so brutally honest and open. Got me sitting here single feeling lucky lol

[@josiahmcclanahan]

I believe he's written a couple books! The descriptions mentions some of his work :)

[@itskeagan3004]

Lucky? That’s dark. I’m sorry you haven’t found someone to share in the amazing milestones and challenges throughout life.

[@jasoncrandall73]

Like this man said 76% of marriages will end before the actual end (of life).

[@jelly.212]

@@itskeagan3004 haha lol 😂 lmao 🤣 even

[@JohnBoyed-fo6fm]

His knowledge will save a lot of men from horrible wom3nn

[@groovygalaxies]

"People lie to their therapist, but they won't lie to their divorce lawyer." Wow! I'm blown away. I want to read Sexton's books.

[@ryanhorvath1308]

It doesn't benefit you to lie to your lawyer - some form of the truth will eventually come out in the wash. I don't understand why people would want to lie to their therapist if they actually wanted help either but that's another story.

[@moviebuff6490]

He has published books about marriage? I'm not surprised.

[@ireeblount8238]

Therapy works when you work it. People don’t want to do the work, which is what he’s saying. The uncomfortable conversations in the beginning for the prenup… if you can’t do that, then you shouldn’t be getting married.

[@mostradam]

I watch all your videos: watching this rt now in the middle of a breakup. This is the most compelling interviews you’ve done. Ty 😊

[@ChosenPlaysYT]

This was super refreshing. He’s unapologetically candid and authentic, while also being knowledgeable and relatable. If only our politicians were like this guy.

[@guitarsoundsaround]

Why do people feel the need to bring politics into everything … go rewatch the video, you missed 99percent of it.

[@edisinmedicine5512]

Politicians aren’t relatable. They have to think about everything they speak and are forbidden from speaking candidly in fact most of these fucks read their speeches no one speaks from the heart

[@booshle_gsa]

“People said, for better or for worse. They didn’t say for lunch”😭 that line sent me… what an interview🙏🏽

[@ne9835]

Lol!!!

[@NK-ho5vp]

Started out thinking "what a total loud mouth jerk", ended the interview thinking " wish he could be my life coach". As always Mark, the beauty of these interviews is that people are never what you expect. What an amazing interview full of practical life truths.

[@kris9259]

I had the exact same reaction. Good stuff.

[@peppyskeptic]

Can I ask what made you think he was a jerk? I'm just curious and trying to learn. Thanks!

[@kris9259]

@@peppyskeptic for me, I honestly think I judged him too quickly. He made a comment about women (a sex comment) and I assumed he was going to be a sexist. I ended feeling very wrong about my assumption.

[@GozieZilla]

You guys judge waaaaay to fast

[@yyyd6559]

​@@kris9259I hope you don't get judged the way you judge

[@venusignacio2978]

This is the kind of a person I wanna be around with. So much wisdom he can share, my go to person if he is my friend.

[@spookysea-monster5297]

This video should be played to every teenager as they leave high school and be used as pre-marriage classes. Absolutely the most valuable video on all of KZbin.

[@kota9087]

I was thinkin the same thing

[@mo_bra3340]

@LemonadeLiberal Yes! They should be weary about marriage just like the straight community! ;-D

[@mo_bra3340]

Agreed! I also think a pre-nup should be a standard part of obtaining a marriage license... or any other legal form process that needs to be filed before 2 people can wed!!!

[@nealcollins435]

I love the comments!

[@kota9087]

@@mo_bra3340 it literally makes no sense that its not a part of the process considering how often marriage fails

[@AbsoluteMotivation]

This was so incredibly insightful.

[@heatman856]

It's crazy first thing I posted was how insightful this was

[@AliBhai-sl8gc]

Hope you guys are well. For a divorce lawyer he is somewhat ignorant. Religious ppl have less divorce and in islam its there, but lower. Hes wrong. women can seek a divorce in islam. And you are not killed for divorce. Go look at the Quran there is an entire chapter call Al-Nisa (women). Divorce is explained in the Quran. The wife is not allowed to take half the mans wealth and cannot stop him from seeing the kids (if he is not a danger/violent etc). Only in Christian Catholic system is marriage for life and no divorce (irony right). Islam is the fastest growing religion in the USA, UK, Canada, Europe and the whole world. So muslim ppl must be getting married and having kids, as sleeping around is a major sin (just like in the bible, remember). UK alone sees every year 5000 ppl revert to islam. Of those 5000 about 3000 are women, mostly white women, who are university educated with an average age of 27. When they come to the dheen (religion) Conservative values follow. And they look to get married and have kids. As muslim women marry Muslim men only. This way we gain an excess demographic of young women.

[@aarondavid5866]

so the prenup has to literally say everything we acquire personally during the marriage belongs to use individually?

[@jtjones4081]

Love is mystical marriage is contractual. The most likely ship to sink is a partnership. I agree that facts sound so cynical.

[@robertrudick2492]

Where does he practice Law?

[@hokees]

Every person on earth needs to watch this interview. Gather in groups. Play it on planes. Show it in theaters. This. Is. Gold.

[@999dayslater]

guy seems like a total jerkoff

[@kipsmithers8816]

Well said

[@Chrisjonpage]

This really should be playing in theaters

[@laptop2638]

I agree, I will make sure my 21 yr old son watches this too. I can remember "my thing" , she never had a thing, she said she always knew we would divorce...

[@BlackSlacksGarage]

agree

[@LamonariWillMakeIt]

this was the most captivating interview ever

[@greenhornet5186]

i love the realism. So sick of romatic nonsense that ends at a theatre near you. This conversation is better than any nonsense about love, vows, and the sanctity of marriage. Thank you!

[@VitaKet]

While this is/was needed by many... he states some things as "facts" at the beginning that kind of skew a big part of his view on this. Divorce rates have been going down since their peak in 1980, and it's much closer to 40% end in divorce than the "56%" he states.

[@theunrestrictedfreeagent1]

@@VitaKet Maybe that's because far fewer people are choosing not to get married (also since 1980). So just maybe more people are wiser in choosing to not get the state involved in their relationships. So, behind those numbers you pointed out, there's other factors that have influenced those reduced numbers. I would also bet the marriage satisfaction rate, of those who chose not to divorce, is far lower than 50%, so think about that. Considering all this, is the juice worth the squeeze? Been there and done that, and I'd say no, and I had a great outcome from divorce. In many ways I still love her, I just could never be with her again (my choice). Thank you for reading this.

[@PoyTroy]

Marriage ain't a movie, it's a mf lol. If you have a good and healthy marriage you have won the lottery

[@lordmow7572]

Crazy that this interview is free tbh. This is pure gold

[@IARRCSim]

yeah. People might pay his hourly rate as a lawyer just to hear him do standup comedy or do a TED-style talk one on one in his office.

[@AyeBeeG]

Stop watching cable/tik tok

[@aprilterrellcreates]

Yup

[@GamingAndChill]

Every interview is free lol

[@ronmass969]

You’re the person that fucks it up for all of us

[@pmvillan]

I love how expressive he was especially when talks about love. And the comparisons are hilarious. Everything about this was amazing. I want to share this with so many people.

[@beckismith3934]

Cannot tell u how. Much this interview helped me ... ive never laughed. N smiled so much coming to the realizations of things

[@erikkoenitzer5615]

Love his take on social media causing general unhappiness in comparing yourself to others... "you're looking at everyone's greatest hits while you're living your gag reel."

[@sarahfranco6802]

59:00

[@nancybellantoni6099]

My husband and I celebrated our 35 wedding anniversary. We met when I was 19. I must say my husband still makes me laugh. So in addition to trust being able to laugh together is a big one

[@vanhuvanhuvese2738]

met at 19 mean you grew into full adults together this is how it should be. In countries with lower rates of separation one thing common among them is people largely marry young.

[@kayladay23]

my husband and i have been together since we were 17. we’re only 22 now, but yes! growing up together, laughing together, loving all the different versions of each other… all very important things for sure

[@RC53789]

This was one of the best interviews yet. Not just about marriage but society, philosophy history, etc. Please do us all a favor and bring this man back on.

[@Fern_Thaddeus]

YES!

[@ashleyrojas44]

I really like this guy. I could listen to him for hours, even though there's a bit i dont agree with. He dropped so many gems in this interview too. So insightful. ❤️ Hope to see him again!

[@jhy25]

I know a lot of us, sometimes myself included, think that attorneys are scumbags but this guy is spot on! He should be a marriage counselor as well.

[@dominiquemcclaney128]

True especially the end.

[@Blueblackngold]

They’re predatory scumbags the lot of them

[@dontbearichard72]

He should be a youth counselor.

[@zenden6564]

In presales...

[@anandadaquino3604]

at the end I was: "I still wanna play in the lottery" hahahaha

[@1565kat]

"Tiptoeing through life so you can arrive safely at death." - brilliant!!! Love this guy!!

[@sstrick500]

I turned 50 recently, and I've been thinking the same thing!! My whole life was "safe"...and now I'm closer to death (natural/statistically) I'm thinking..."WHAT THE HELL.....GO OUT GO NUTS!"

[@THESILVERNARUTO]

Guilty a bit

[@megausten7189]

Tired

[@captemp]

Read this quote in the book You Are a Badass. By far my favorite quote of all time.

[@alialba8189]

All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don't tiptoe. Shane Claiborne. I don't know that guy, but I love this quote. Heard it about 20 years ago.

[@tmichelle1842]

This interview totally makes sense and blew me away. Marriages end either in death or divorce. Fascinated by this interview.

[@TrisjensChronicles1203]

Gawwwd Dammm, who is this guy? I could listen to him for hours. Just finished the video and I had to watch it a second time!! This guy is dropping golden nuggets, this video will go down as one of the greatest of all times!! Goat status 🐐🐐🐐🐐