18TH PARTY, TRYING NEW ICE CREAM, CRYING AGAIN - ANOREXIA RECOVERY

WEEKEND VLOG!
Alisha's 18th PARTAAAAY!
We tried the new Kinder Bueno ice creams and the new Haagen Dazs and they were sooooo goooood! I need some more ice cream in my life!
Mum and I went for a rather windy walk it is SO BEAUTIFUL!
I had my first ever bakery pretzel yaaaaas! AND bakery doughnut wooo!
Also of course I cried again on deciding a snack lols, but I still did it, and I challenged instead of getting annoyed with myself for getting worked up. It is allllll part of the process!
FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: / elzani__

[@Coraline-jonesyy]

Maybe you could work on not asking your mum if food is nice before eating it. Not all food will live up to our expectations but that's OK!! Love and best wishes 💕💕💕

[@ronjahoffmann612]

I have some challenges for you, which would definitely challenge your eating disorder but you would also grow from them!!!!! - not asking for permission to eat - not saying "I haven't had this for ages" - reducing talks about food especially while eating or talking walks - have bigger main meals - try to not save the best til last - try a new food before your mom tries it - "just try it and eat it" without waiting and asking if it's amazing or saying "I bet it is amazing"

[@Mia-ub3gy]

I second this!! I dont think it is helpful to consistently justify eating food by saying that you havent had it in ages, because you deserve it no matter what!!

[@ewajackowska4115]

I see I'm not the only one enjoyed by her doing all of those above. I am convinced she's aware of all of those (because of editing) but she seems not to be there to challenge her disorder yet. With her all the best!

[@Ella-ps1lg]

Yes! - best way to rewire the brain!

[@jaquelinegonzalez9411]

Yes! They are the small but influential behaviors that hinder us in recovery.

[@mymultiplelife]

I believe in you!!

[@rachelthompson668]

You're doing so well Elazni but your main meals are so small which means the snacks you eat don't really boost your intake as much as you want them to, maybe at lunch try to have the sandwich/pitta with two sides, like a packet of crisps, a donut, a piece of fruit or a yogurt. Eating more during the day will really help instead of 'saving' foods til the evening. I've been in recovery for four years now and I'm going places and doing things I never thought I could, I've been travelling on my own in countries I can't speak the language, Im halfway through my degree, recovery is possible but it takes time, persistence and consistency. I believe you CAN do it, keep going!

[@amymclellan583]

You definitely need more parts to lunch, such as crisps and a cereal bar, please try it!! As your snacks aren't adding anything extra as most people would, for example, have ice cream after their lunch AND something else later!!

[@lucydefoubert3716]

Maybe just a yogurt or crisps with lunch would be a good start. And you need bigger cereal bowls!

[@luciemcadams9016]

Elzani, you don't need to be 'the best' at recovery. Thats just an endless pursuit that will end in exhaustion just like anorexia did. You cant be 'the best' at most things in life....honestly, its absolutely exhilarating Im finding, just to be average. Theres so much peace found there.

[@larlutm]

Lucie McAdams 100% agree with you, amazing and concise advice. So glad that you’ve found an imperfectly perfect way to live..that truly does bring you peace (as well as health and happiness of course!) 🕺😊🕺x

[@MadisonTiahn]

I am obsessed with your mums hair (and your mum in general). 😍

[@AngelicasRecovery]

Madison Killer same lol

[@laurakate4489]

Her mum is fantastic!

[@MadisonTiahn]

I swear her mum and my mum are twins in the way they act. I am so blessed. ❤️

[@linaa4682]

You are such an inspiration Elzani, to those with and without an E.D. You show viewera what recovery is really like, rather than the stigma and stereotypes associated with these illnesses. You are one very brave girl, and I wish you the very best. Thank you for uploading such raw and honest content, however please remember to only upload content you feel comfortable with. Don't upload content that you aren't comfortable with for the sake of your viewers. Keep your health at the forefront. You can beat this illness, I believe in you x

[@MadisonTiahn]

Honestly girl I just found your channel. After having an eating disorder for 10 years I connect with your relationship with your mum. My mum is my world. She knows me and my illness better than myself. I know not everyone has someone like we do and I thank myself everyday I have her. Mums are the best. Everything you say and do with your mum, I did too. I know that you feel like you have to ask “Should I have it/try it/say it” etc, I did the same to my mum for years and every time she would say “of course!”. You don’t need too ask for ‘permission’ to give yourself a reason to do something. It is feeding your disorder. Maybe start to challenge yourself to stop asking. Regardless, keep fighting. Sending love. X

[@onlyme7308]

Madison Killer amen. My Mom is my everything. She’s my best friend too. Constant source of guidance, support, sanity, protection but most of all unconditional love 💕

[@MadisonTiahn]

Andrea ❤️❤️❤️

[@crazymistake5293]

Madison Killer this is such a lovely comment xx your a very kind person xx hope your recovery goes well 💝🥰

[@MadisonTiahn]

Crazy Mistake thank you so much. ❤️❤️❤️

[@crazymistake5293]

Madison Killer your worth it xx

[@hannahkisley9118]

Instead of asking should I have this, say I am having this. You don’t need permission to eat, you will find it so empowering

[@Squidaffy]

Is she seeing a counselor and a nutritionist as well? She would REALLY benefit from it. She could share these videos with them.

[@nanabarker8140]

Can you do a Q & A? Like what you do outside of food? Do you go to drs appts? Counseling? Group therapy? Dates? Friends? Those types of things.😊

[@onlyme7308]

There is a Winnie The Pooh quote but with added extra... “Always remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you think, more beautiful than you imagine and loved more than you know.” Brave girl. 🌻🌻🌻

[@lovamellegard5601]

PLEASE read this comment. From a nutritionist, you need to double every single meal you eat. Non of this you’re eating are enough for you. If you don’t do it from now on, you’ll never get back to normal:( I’m cheering on you, but you have to do the job. Maybe take professional help to actually make the progress you need! If you’d think it would be fun, I would love to send u some of the best Swedish snacks, that would be a fun video seeing u try all of it👍🤩

[@leabell5763]

You should, I'd love to see her try some Swedish snacks!!😘

[@SmileSplice]

Arhhgg can u send me some too😂🤩 jk

[@oliviapirie6941]

What if you're eating a normal amount or even maybe a little bit less (in recovery) but are gaining weight? This is happening to me and I really struggle to understand why everyone says people in recovery need to eat heaps and double their intake etc. Because I'm gaining from a normal sized breakfast kinda thing. I hope this makes sense!!!

[@Crocs4cats]

Olivia Pirie This! Exactly the same is happening to me which is why I can't understand how she's not gaining with what she's eating. I think for me it's my age but it's so frustrating because now I feel like I have to restrict again🙄 BUT from past experience I know that it eventually evens out. Don't give up !

[@charlievester-coleman1086]

@@oliviapirie6941 this is what it was like for me for a while but I was made to increase more and my metabolism actually sped up and started to repair my organs, your body is scared that you will restrict again so it is holding on to it so if you do restrict it can loose fat not organ tissue or muscle, if you keep feeding it and increasing the amount of calories you are it will realise that it can work on fixing the inside.

[@kari_sims]

aw seeing you cry breaks my heart, stay strong, you're doing so well!

[@grace-tz7wx]

1 hour of you isn't enough, love watching you. You are truly inspiring❤

[@caitlynallison5823]

I think your mom should help make sure you are getting enough calories, you need to eat much more than the average person until you are weight restored but i dont feel it should be you that are tracking your calories. Otherwise you will need to be impatient if no one is making sure your are getting 3500 calories a day

[@rachel.c.p9302]

I believe that the real issue is a continued resistance to weight gain. The way you hold your body (in camera poses), and appear to experience a sense of comfort from looking unwell, is very noticeable. Unless you commit to weight gain (which does not have to mean wanting it!), however terrifying, you will not progress. It seems that you are somehow wanting to 'recover' without doing this which, unfortunately, is simply not possible. If you have surrendered to the fact that you need to weight restore, there will be no such thing as "too much" food (you refer to this a lot). It's all very well challenging yourself to new foods but your over-focus on this is diverting attention away from the fact that you need to be taking in A LOT more calories on a daily basis. Why stop having the large chocolate bar before bed? If you are craving it, you need it. So have the giant crumpet, the cereal (with FULL FAT milk, not skimmed!) AND the chocolate bar! Now is not the time to replace one food item with another, it is a time for ADDING to what you are already eating. Elzani, I implore you to reflect on this...to acknowledge and challenge the fear of your body changing. Unlike many trying to recover from anorexia, you are very fortunate to still have a gut and brain that are still communicating hunger signals, so if this fear was not there, you would be at a healthy weight by now (as opposed to being pretty stagnant since November). Why are you scared of weight gain? What does an emaciated body give you? These are issues that would be helpful to explore with a therapist...

[@lindsaywilliams3774]

Rachel Phelps your insight is spot on. Well stated. Surrendering to weight gain is perhaps the hardest part. At least in my recovery experience

[@prisvis3163]

I'm proud of you trying, but I thinks some things can help you if you really want to change things) In the Netherlands you get a mealplan to gain weight. Every day the same amounts. Eating 3 times (a day) a full meal (how many spoons ed is on there), 3-4 times a snack (incl fruit) and also nutritional drinks (beside!) if needed. So your basic intake is enough for gaining. Inside the mealplan you can try some new things, BUT it's not the main priority. When you gained to a healty weight, there's the real start in recovery to begin with real challenges en trying new or scary foods. First priority is weightgain. Follow a mealplan (from specialized dietitian in e.d.) so you don't have to think a lot every day about the amounds etc, it's not you that have to deside, it's on the list (and of course you can eat new things BESIDE). Also... think about therapy, it will release the responsibility of your family and you will get the support you need and deserve.

[@prisvis3163]

The singing part of you and your sister, like it! So sweet. Had a smile on my face watching it. :-)

[@tangerinecoral1822]

Best Comment

[@serafimalappa9477]

Elzani, i don’t want to push you, but you still aren’t eating enough. You need to challenge yourself to double up the portions, or your recovery will be endless

[@h_2503]

And stop exercising - sports kit on the Monday morning looked like they had been out to the gym before breakfast...

[@SH-to8sh]

She doesn't eat nearly as enough..she just eats normal portions not enough for a recovering anorexic

[@OTTAMUSPRIME]

I agree! I also think she should include more fresh fruit and veg in her diet. I know she needs the calories to gain weight but she's getting nothing but empty calories from all the breads and sweets she eats all of which are making her feel sluggish and not feeling the best and seem to worsen her anxiety.

[@OTTAMUSPRIME]

i agree completely! I love them all dearly and I can clearly see the stress between them all in certain videos similar to this one. I just hope they can seek the help they need ❤

[@alaniisabel9361]

I agree! She needs to be eating WAY more than she is. It actually worries me 😥

[@ItsMeganMumford]

I’m so proud of you and how you’re pushing yourself!

[@SarATuber1]

I think you should try using a big spoon all the time because the small spoon is very disordered :/ Just a thought. I used to do that myself. Recovery is not just food related but so much more. Good luck :)

[@kecrn4132]

10101010 10 - 100% agree!

[@gemma_dancer4169]

10101010 10 yes sometimes obviously it’s better to use small spoons but with eating disorders, small spoons are often used to slow down eating, taking very small mouthfulls

[@gabriellelynch7689]

Made my heart break watching Alisha having fun, drinking, going out and just actually having friends. ED will try and convince you that you don't need it. The pang for real life will be replaced by that voice 'well at least you can avoid calories from alcohol and social situations if you have no friends!'. Seriously you deserve a better life. All the best! Push on for yourself girly x

[@Hannahm.w]

You can have chocolate at night! If that’s what you want! Variety is good too. You could have a chocolate bar and cereal if that’s what ELZANI wants! In recovery, there is no such thing as too much. Food freedom does not come overnight but you can do it

[@tinawoods7655]

I agree, I needed to learn to follow what I was craving, our bodies are smart and the chocolate is likely what your body needs more than a bowl of cereal?

[@ronjahoffmann612]

Your main meals are still so tiny.... please take care

[@elzani6744]

Ronja Hoffmann more vids to come about this!

[@humananonymous7927]

Ronja Hoffmann They looks quite big in my opinion, your portion sizes must be huge 🤷🏻‍♂️😂. I have a normal diet and my portion sizes are way smaller Than that . I think she eats enough . I think she just has to Work on the emotion behind it , because you can tell she still struggles with eating , but I’m glad she’s trying , I think she should take time with eating whatever she wants rather than shoving food down her throat , she won’t enjoy it , and it’ll only make the experience worse , at the moment she seems to be having 2,500 to 3,000 cal a day , which is great , baby steps are fine , the point is she’s eating :) I’m proud . Hopefully the stress will lessen over Time and food will be something she enjoys , rather than something she cry’s over .:)

[@saskiafinnan4216]

Hooman yes but your opinion isn’t going to make her gain weight. If she isn’t gaining on that amount then she needs to eat more, if she is then she’s doing fine.

[@ohwellwhateverr]

How are they tiny? That plate of chilli for example - that to me looks like a normal portion.

[@saskiafinnan4216]

@@ohwellwhateverr but she IS anorexic, not her skinniness isn't natural like your's may be. Thats why she needs to be eating at least a third more food than a normal person with her age and activity level and as long as she is doing that then she should gain weight. She may be naturally skinny but no one is as skinny and malnourished as she is now "naturally"

[@lilbsbluvr07]

Most of your meals (like the cereal and apple) I’m thinking you need to be eating two to three times more than that! Worries me girl.

[@alaniisabel9361]

lilbsbluvr07 I was going to say the same thing! Her portion sizes worry me

[@TopTray08]

lilbsbluvr07 Elzina is exactly whee she needs to be right now.she will progress when she is ready. These recordings are an indication that she is on the right path, and she’ll do it when the time is right

[@Mia-ub3gy]

Just because you could do better does not mean that you arent already doing great!!!

[@lucydefoubert3716]

Agree! The things you have challenged yourself to and faced head on are amazing and courageous. Maybe now take a step back and think about what you'd like to work on mentally, like improving your confidence. Things entirely unrelated to food. Wishing you all the best as you're just a lovely lovely girl

[@zoeraybould8530]

I suffer from severe health and social anxiety, and although I can’t imagine what you have been through and going through, seeing you fight your mind and conquer New challenges is so inspiring to me and has honestly helped me to push myslef to get out the house. Although you still have a long way to go and have challenegs to over come I’m so proud of you and want you to know that you’re so inspiring and fill me, and I’m sure Many others with courage. Keep pushing yourslef, we all want to see you better! Lots of love and thank you so much for Inspiring me and many others xxx

[@anonymous4457]

You need to learn that FOOD IS NOT LIFE, unless you’re a chef or food critic, idk. Food is a means to an end, fuel to do things you love. Yes it can be enjoyable, but it should not run our life. What is your life outside of food? Seeing a therapist would help you discover that. Your family is not trained to treat you, they give in to your constant reassurance seeking and this is unhelpful. You’re putting yourself out there on youtube, so expect constructive criticism.

[@Snickerdoods.x]

Have you tried adding butter to your toast, crumpets, sandwiches, etc.? It would help add calories (I know, scary but needed) without adding extra bulk to your food, PLUS make it even more tasty.

[@taliaaustin9818]

You live in such a beautiful place I’m so jealous. I love the relationship you have with your family it’s so loving and supportive. Keep up the good work elzani xx

[@imnotmakingvideosrry]

with everyone in these comments telling you what to do, i just want to say that while yes your progress has been great, you still need to keep pushing yourself! i am rooting for you, keep fighting! just think about how good it will feel to run again when you've gotten better. you can do it :)

[@its_msk]

I'm sad to see you didnt acknowledge the hundreds of people commenting and asking about your thoughts on seeing a therapist which you desperately and so obviously need. We would have loved to hear you speak about that. Your viewers are very concerned you get more professional help and not just focusing on what I eat in a day. I feel you're avoiding therapy.

[@elizabeth6540]

Dawny K TRUE TRUE TRUE TRUE

[@laureehegarty1603]

Dawny K maybe she has tried therapy and it’s not for her and she would rather recover in a family environment some people don’t respond well to the therapy in their area because sometimes they can be more triggering also it’s her and her families choice she could be receiving therapy that we don’t know about I doubt she would video therapy

[@its_msk]

@@laureehegarty1603 I agree somewhat but did mention hundreds if people in her last video commented about therapy or counseling other than only her family supporting her. She didnt acknowledge any of those questions. I posed the idea before that if she in therapy or has tried therapy to let her concerned viewers know her experience. Clearly just receiving support from her family isnt enough. Most in recovery need a therapist / nutritionist and outside support.

[@SH-to8sh]

She just listens to her sister Alicia I've noticed therapy wise but her sister knows nothing and is not a professional, I'm not trying to be mean but her family doesnt really seem to understand a balance between stating facts and being too harsh. Their comments are too harsh sometimes and Elzani doesn't realise it but it will definitely affect her and her recovery subconsciously

[@iriss1303]

Dawny K she has mentioned in the past being a patient under CAMHS which is the uk’s service for mental health for the under 18s

[@andymorgo7856]

You are doing it amazing elzani! But you need to eat more please! Ik it is hard and no one is gonna minimize the way that it feels to be out of your zone of control and eat more but you have to do it for a real recover, for you health and for your life, we are with you in every single step you do, i'm cheering you and hoping the best for you, you will be out of this, keep fighting 💕

[@luluflowers9954]

How many scoops? Girl eat the whole tub! It's safe I promise to go for seconds, it makes you strong and you NEED it. Hang in there!

[@ohwellwhateverr]

Who tf eats a whole tub of ice cream in one go? No. The sugar crash would be horrendous

[@isabelpreuss1660]

@@ohwellwhateverr shut up

[@cvh6098]

@@ohwellwhateverr from another comment of you under this video, id have thought you learned your lesson and not say any triggering, ignorant stuff anymore. clearly i was too optimistic. please, if you dont have any knowledge of or experience with ed recovery and the HUGE (for normal people) amounts it takes, just dont comment. its not that hard, just stop. its incredibly damaging and problematic.

[@ohwellwhateverr]

@@cvh6098 I understand how EDs and recovery works. Calories come before nutrition, I get it. But there are healthier and more sustainable ways to bulk eat than overloading your system with cheap sugar. No one asked you to be such a sanctimonious twat.

[@cvh6098]

@@ohwellwhateverr hi, thanks for your lovely compliment, i appreciate it :) the thing is, "healthy" is defined differently in ed recovery and processed food is actually preferable to our body since its much easier to digest! and thats only one of the physical reasons but of course the psychological factor is also very important! hope you have a nice day

[@elizabeth6540]

CHALLENGE: FULL DAY OF NOT TALKING ABOUT FOOD

[@kecrn4132]

Elizabeth Van Tuinen - in eating disorders inpatient and day programs....we talk about food daily....multiple times a day....we talk about it every time we eat....it’s not abnormal.

[@theonethatgotaway680]

I’d love to see a video about that too. I’d like to see her play her guitar or talk about things other than food.

[@cookedapple]

@@kecrn4132 it is abnormal if it's ED driven. We talk about food because we're obsessed with it because we're starving. We talk about food because we think about it all the time, we want to talk about it because it's all we care about.

[@kecrn4132]

Emma - her body is still starving!!! Even tho she is eating very well, her body is still extremely underweight and malnourished so it is normal! Our bodies are still in starvation mode at the very least, until we reach our set point....then depending what damage needs repair, we could remain malnourished for months after that. As we get closer to our set point and the malnutrition slowly gets better, we become less and less obsessed with food. But, with 11 inpatient admissions to a program, I don’t see Elzani’s “obsession” with food being any different than myself or anyone else I have been in with who started out at a very low weight.

[@cookedapple]

@@kecrn4132 lol oh dear.. if that's how you look at it - then it's normal to restrict, to binge and purge and to over-exercise and we should expect that? No, the point of recovery is to try overcome that. Talking about food all the time is not normal, it's an eating disorder thing that also needs to be worked on. You can't change your mind, thoughts about food may never go, but not talking about it is something to work on.

[@laraarif5088]

I had a meltdown yesterday after eating more than usual after lunch. thank you for showing the low parts of recovery, the tears and difficult moments, and also showing yourself pushing through them and eating. you truly inspire me so much elzani

[@learning2live_846]

This is just my observation, but I notice you tend to reminisce about the past alot. Do you think you have a fear of growing up, getting out in the real world, becoming independent, @ not have the constant reassurance from your parents? I only say this, because this is what I struggled with...my mom and I are extremely close, and it was hard for me to break away and be my own person. I almost felt guilty for doing so. You are such a sweet soul though💕

[@StarTheWolfPuppy]

i definitely see that. Alisha seems a lot more independent and mature despite being younger.

[@learning2live_846]

@@StarTheWolfPuppy Very true!

[@hilhil2101]

Elzani never discusses adult things...career goals, interests, sex, relationships, politics, future plans. She doesn’t say she wants her own place or to go to school.

[@tmsts002]

You're definitely still restricting, regardless of what you believe. You clearly are. You'll never get better doing this, and you'll continue to live in suffering and pain. You need to be real with yourself honestly sweet. This isn't recovery. This is you being comfortable. If you're comfortable, you're not challenging the eating disorder. And if you're not doing that then you're not recovering. You'll end up back in hospital at this rate💔

[@laurahadwin2700]

Elzani well done for not weighing out stuff!!!!! I'm stopping weighing my foods at the moment and it's soooo difficult, but you can do it, and allow yourself the freedom to just eat, you cannot live normally aslong as you weigh your food! Give in to when you want to eat, because you need to have more for meals and snacks, otherwise you will be forever thinking about your next meal because you will forever be needing more 💗💗 cannot wait for your next vlog, you are blossoming x

[@marianastefanova6875]

Elzani , every time you think about quiting or think that it is too hard , just remind yourself of your goal , which is to be strong , to lift weights , to be able to run fast and be agile , to have a really strong body ! Every time I don't feel like going to training because I'm lazy at the moment , I just remind myself that I want to be atlethic , to do pull ups , push ups, hand stands, pistol squats etc and I get motivated to crush the workout. Hope this helps you in any way ! Just remember, keep reminding yourself of the end goal !

[@Snickerdoods.x]

It's not helpful to push yourself though when you aren't really feeling it mentally. This can lead to a disordered relationship with exercise. It's not being lazy. You CAN take breaks from exercise. If you're torturing yourself mentally to work out, it's actually not that great for your overall health and wellbeing.

[@presivs5526]

I'm really proud of you! But I'm also genuinely worried about the amount you eat and how little you've gained....like barely anything.... I eat double size portions....like i would have two pita breads.... Or try both ice creams at once... I tend to eat the whole pot of ice cream....and maintain while doing that so please please try and up a bit.... You need to gain a lot lot lot more or else it's never gonna end

[@sparkles877]

@@ohwellwhateverr - Please stop with your unhelpful, triggering comments. You clearly have no understanding of eating disorders and are likely causing serious damage

[@ohwellwhateverr]

Presivs Sorry, I was totally out of line with that. You’re right, I don’t have an ED and I was ignorant about how recovery actually works. It’s not greed to compensate in recovery for the calories you’ve missed out on through your ED, and I’m sorry if I upset you.

[@tinawoods7655]

To really do some damage to the ed I tried to eat the most calorific food possible ie go through sandwiches in shop and choose highest cal. Otherwise can seem like you’re doing well and eating a lot when if you add it all up it’s not that calorific. X

[@lucyc5134]

I literally love your mum she’s so amazing , lovely and just so supportive ❤️ the same goes for your sisters!! I absolutely love your videos... keep going your doing amazing work on eating a little bit more everyday! I BELIEVE IN YOU 💜

[@shiraleesweeny3566]

So comforting to me when you film with your family and sisters. I'm so homesick but I feel like a part of your family bc I've watched soooo many of your videos over the past year, love from Australia xoxo

[@drowzing]

your mum is so supportive it makes me so happy:(

[@inluvwithglitter]

You should try two eggs with ur egg sandwich

[@inluvwithglitter]

And 4 slices of toast.

[@moonflower9566]

and maybe add some meat & avocado!

[@Snickerdoods.x]

And butter would help too lol plus it would be more tasty

[@Tnc874]

i am so glad she shared this journey of hers... from the bottom. its just so pure, honest and raw how confusing and overwhelming it is to recover. and even though it is, its still possible. you have to push yourself thru the tears . and you need support. but with or without support, you have to do it.. Kudos to Elzani!!!!

[@samatharowney6243]

Get so excited for your uploads x

[@lexijade5566]

I feel like we haven’t had an Elzani video in ages, so happy to see this :))

[@sophia9677]

*You* are divine Elzani !! Hope you're not too overwhelmed by all the comments.. you're doing great, keep working hard and improving ❤️ Wishing you the best

[@charlottep3326]

Sending lots of love Elzani. I feel like we're friends (not to sound crazy haha) and just want to give you a big squeeze ❤️

[@nothankyou7978]

It’s hard to watch you struggle, Elzani. But, that’s the truth about recovery... it’s really difficult. Thank you for being vulnerable... it’s not easy. You’ll overcome it, though❤️💪🏼

[@candiceyoung8244]

As a mom,seeing you sad breaks my heart,in America btw we dip those soft pretzels in cheese sauce,or mustard,i prefer cheese, im praying for you to do better and to get well,God bless you and your family ❤

[@greeentealeaf]

Elzani, you always talk about what you want to do when you get better, but you must eat more! Your portions are so tiny, it won't help you to get better and live your life the way you want to.

[@microcranny]

Elzani you’re doing amazing it’s okay to get upset and have them days you just have to double up your game and challenge eating more!

[@summerhumble9386]

As everyone is saying in the comments your need to eat way way more and higher calorie foods , and even more because you go for walks which is not the best thing to do in recovery

[@emilywilliams3385]

Living independently with a eating disorder without no one there is a real test ha! I’ve been living alone for 7 years now I’m 28 gonna say right here right now it’s a real test of mind strength

[@throughrose-colouredeyes6284]

i feel you. i'm 28 and have been alone for years with it too. how do you deal with the depression side of things? i send my love. x

[@emilywilliams3385]

through rose-coloured eyes unfortunately due to having a eating disorder since age 10 I have developed gastroperasis and so now I can’t eat my stomach is in paralysis so even a piece of toast can make me very poorly, and so the depression is unfortunately very bad indeed, anorexia destroyed my teen life and now as a adult it kicked my backside xx

[@Snickerdoods.x]

Ugh yes it's so hard when you live alone. I eat all but maybe 2 meals alone each week, and even sometimes I don't have meals with other people at all. It makes things difficult. I wish I had people around to help keep me accountable. Of course we're the ones who have to do the work but it definitely helps to have encouragement and loved ones pushing you.

[@emilywilliams3385]

Gina Marie when you have encouragement it’s brilliant, anorexia destroyed my digestive system I’ve only myself and the illness to blame, I think we can support one another, if you need someone to talk to about it I’m here 😊 if you have Instagram my name on there is @emily_elizabeth_williams xx

[@emilywilliams3385]

10101010 10 very true it’s also a equal test of willpower, you have your freedom and your own pad to do as you want when you want but sometimes anorexia can rear its ugly head xx

[@f1nncess671]

"Trying new ice cream, crying again" *anorexia recovery mood 24/7*

[@eddavan1624]

How lucky that u have a mother who eats the same as u in each meal❤️❤️ god bless her

[@andreear8625]

Yaaay you posted So proud of you for your bravery ❤️ keep going

[@jessmando1]

Your mom is such an amazing woman. She is so caring to you and loves you so much and I love how willing she is to help you as much as she can. My mom usually lets me get through things and figure out a better diet alone. You’re very very lucky to have such a kind souled and lovey mom with such a beautiful heart.

[@traceye4659]

You should try dipping it in BOTH Nutella and biscoff together!? If they’re great separately they could be amazing together!

[@issymather8116]

YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB! you are an inspiration to me and so many others in recovery!! Why not try and have a smoothie or milkshake/iced chocolate as a drink with each meal? and have the chocolate and the cheerios and the crumpet? THERE ARE NO RULES IN RECOVERY as long as you EAT ENOUGH and let your body REST so it can get strong and you don't burn off any calories that could go towards building a peachy bum! :) If you struggle with eating big main meals (I know EDs mess up digestion as I have experienced this!) you could add a few extra snack breaks during the day, like instead of 2 or 3 you could have 6 or more breaks in the day where you have a donut, cereal, bagel, chocolate, etc!! (more chances for snack chats!)

[@Winter_Dream]

I have a challenge for you elzani, try going a whole day without talking to the camera, just pretend it's not even there. Talk to your family instead and simply have the camera on, no showing us the food just eat it 😊

[@eddavan1624]

Cam W. Like this idea

[@silveronyxgirl]

I know you were joking about the baguette but in my anorexia recovery I would have a whole massive one along side my lunch everyday 😅 the extreme hunger was real

[@timetogetmylifeback]

Lol same i could have probably eaten that 😭😂

[@TopTray08]

Guys why not just accept Elzani talking about what the hell she feels she needs to for her recovery, she’ll progress naturally if you support her not apprehend her, it’s small steps, not mountains in a day.

[@throughrose-colouredeyes6284]

why don't you get some ensures, or some fortisips lovely? for me to gain any weight, i needed to have 8 ensures, along with 3 meals and 3 snacks a day.

[@rosieposie9630]

8 ensures a week? Or in a day?

[@throughrose-colouredeyes6284]

@@rosieposie9630 a day. 🙈 it was in hospital.

[@rosieposie9630]

@@throughrose-colouredeyes6284 oh...i cant imagine that 😬 i had to drink 2 a day and it was a pain in the ass,... But i hope it was all worth it 😊

[@Remy4300]

so did i, lemon ones were the only ones i could tolerate

[@queenkhaleesi8365]

Hello From Australia! and happy 18th Alisha. :)

[@MadisonTiahn]

CuteMiss MJB hello from the Sunshine Coast. Xx

[@queenkhaleesi8365]

@@MadisonTiahn xx

[@cassidyshoop1047]

You seem like you’re really improving when it comes to not procrastinating to eat. Of course you know you still need to be eating more which I know you’re working on, but it seems like when you’re about to eat you’re spending less time talking about the food and more time eating it. Good job :)

[@kerryannelisa1523]

You’re definitely blessed to have such a supportive mum ♥️ you’ve come on so far 💖

[@Creative_contour]

Maybe if it’s too hard for you to eat more than what you are now you could drink an ensure a couple times a day or once a day. Ik it’s gross but it might be better than eating things you don’t want to eat for now. Also I know you like taking lots of walks and working out which great but maybe until you put on a significant amount of weight you should cut back on that

[@tania.4139]

Tal vez jamás leas esto, ni lo entiendas, pero qué valiente eres, te admiro tanto tanto, lograste superarte en todo esto, lograste superar tus miedos y complejidades, de alguna forma, me enorgullece bastante, eres increíble, oye, maravillosa. You’re amazing girl!

[@biancadgama8816]

You keep saying you're going to get better but look at your meals and their sizes and how you always ask for permission etc to eat. Seriously, I know this is so hard and it's a real mind game but please go see a dietitian or therapist sweetie, we only want to see you get better. At the rate you're going, it seems like nothing will ever change.

[@fabes1977]

One thing that you may not see as. Something holding you back from recovery is your co dependency on your mom. I had this issue and until I separated myself from her then was I only able to truly recover because I was doing it and doing it for me. That’s not to say that you’re mother isn’t an amazing wonderful person it’s just you rely too much on her and what she would do....

[@emsmith8943]

How come I don’t like watching any other youtubers eat but can watch hours on end of elzani eating 😂

[@emsmith8943]

Part 2: you look so much healthier recently, your skin is literally glowing. So excited to see your progress!

[@KimHoeltje]

Wow!!! I want to come to the party!!! 🎉 You are doing amazing Elzani! You didn’t get sick overnight so you can’t expect to recover overnight. It’s a journey. With ups and downs. Stay strong and know that you are doing a DIVINE job❤️

[@kecrn4132]

Amazing work, Elzani! Super jealous of both of your ice creams! I have never seen either one where I live! Ice cream is the best....and last weekend, I actually made homemade pretzels! We dipped half of them in salt and the other half in cinnamon and sugar! So yummy!! Keep up the good work! Keep pushing!💕😘💗💖

[@seravt258]

satara! my favorite gal!

[@darkreunionkaidou2694]

I love your videos as they are so inspiring and you are such a strong person with a loving family. Xx❤️✨

[@trin1464]

its okay to keep talking about not trying things in forever !! i remember u saying that about peanut butter / nut butters on bagels and you eat them a lot now :D the list will keep going down naturally and then you won't have to say it anymore ♡♡

[@WhateverWorksDoll]

You have improved so much, everyone is very proud of you. Keep going at it girl!💪😊👍

[@morgannespeirs6777]

I have a challenge for you! For breakfast (or lunch or dinner!) have porridge cooked with milk, and top it with banana, (and any other fruit) and then put chocolate on so it melts in😍😍 it’s so yummy PS, you are doing so well, each day challenge yourself more and more but making your portions bigger, trying new foods etc ! You are inspiring so many💗

[@rebeccaklein3952]

You have to try lasagna it's so DIVINE! I love it

[@phoebejoy5365]

Divine* hehe

[@rebeccaklein3952]

Phoebe Joy i messed up lol but thanks

[@moonflower9566]

protein powder in a shake or meal replacement protein drinks make you gain weight & muscle! , it's what I have done! :) but u gotta use them on top of meals, just a thought, I love u and your family! :)

[@Creative_contour]

In America welll at least where I live we like warm soft pretzels and dip them in yellow mustard yummm

[@lovestruckbyyou22.87]

Her breaking down over crumpets and chocolate broke my heart I’ve never been diagnosed with and an ED but my family thinks I have an binge eating ED I would only eat once for a month then binge eat the next then I would nearly have an heart attack at the thought of gaining a bit of weight then I would go on a diet every week to try to lose weight now I only eat once or twice a day and I can’t eat much my Dr said I need to eat three meals a day but I just can’t do it I feel hunger but have no desire to eat and I’ll not eat until my stomach begins to hurt from hunger at the very end of the day and then eat a snack and hour or two after a meal after only eating once..

[@nadiashafara1233]

Good job elzani!! Keep smile, strong and get healthy okay!!! Fighting👍💞

[@moonchild07613]

You are Lucky you have someone who eats with you...😭 In my family nobody likes sweets only me and I always sit alone there eating and trying to Focus not to cry while watching something!

[@jenniferhofkes4067]

I really like to watch your videos alot. Your a very bright and beautiful girl. It seems like you always stay positive during your recovery. Keep it up your doing great... love ya

[@elliebrace7637]

You need to keep pushing yourself and challenge those ed thoughts you are doing so good and I believe you will beat this !! It took be a 6 months to finally realise that I need an increase to recover and in the end its worth it all !! please do not put yourself down about not doing well !! but please try and increase it will be for the best :)

[@jacksjacks9927]

Your mum is a saint, we see you on your vlogs eating, I wonder what happens in between times¡ If anything u owe everything for your mum to get better, she would be the happiest mum in the world

[@GracieLions]

The struggle is real, and daily, and you are facing it like a Warrior. 🌟🙏❤️

[@TheseusBruderTantonius]

In my opinion pretzels are best with butter.... You cut them in half and spread butter onto them... Just delicious really

[@ellexx4129]

You are so cool! I know that you will win the fight !❤️ Thank you for your amazing videos !

[@megansinclair388]

I want to give you a big hug. You’re so sweet. Good luck with everything

[@juliansgma]

I dip my pretzels in mustard. Your mom is awesome she has so much energy! You doing well elzani! 👍

[@amymclellan583]

Do you ever meet up with friends elzani? xx

[@biffalump]

Hello beauty lovely to see you , keep going push yourself it will be so worth it ! Lots of love xx

[@nicolexo8020]

I think you are doing amazing. Like wow. But it breaks my heart watching you cry while you eat. Bless you. People are telling you to double your meal size but honestly your doing way better then I thought you would. I think the amount your eating is great so far. Keep up

[@inespires4127]

for night snack, maybe cake, pudding or something like that.

[@kecrn4132]

Happy birthday to Elzani’s Mom! 🎊🎁🍾🛍🎂🎉💕😘💓🥂🍷🍰