19 & Divorced

[@ginstu8232]

I'm not Muslima, but I really appreciate your advice to her and your support for her during this difficult time. This is what real humanity looks like - even if you had that “Told you so”-moment; no - precisely BECAUSE you had that moment! I would guess that you made the difference so that she could emotionally survive this difficult situation because there was no one else. Who knows where she would have ended up otherwise. So - thank you so much for your kind and patient support!

[@al_n1kah]

@ginstu8232 thank you for your kind words, they are appreciated. It's unfortunate that so many young women fund themselves in this position. One our greatest lessons has been to be a father figure for young (impressionable) women in their ti.es of need and dare I say vulnerability. We'll be doing a diary entry on that too. But pray for those who need out help, may God keep us sincere in our endeavors. Ameen.

[@addictioneviction3780]

Thanks for sharing, so many lessons that can be learnt from this experience

[@al_n1kah]

@addictioneviction3780 but people seldom rarely do. Matters of the heart are so very complicated, not matter your age if you fall in love with someone expect rational thinking to go out the window.....

[@londonoxfordstreet]

One observation worth mentioning about Parent's Fault - That's what happens when marriage of daughters is delayed by parents even after they reached their puberty, against Islamic guidance. A 19 years old muslim woman can easily be the mother of 2-3 good muslim kids in Shaa Allah.

[@londonoxfordstreet]

It is better to do Islamic marriage and somehow unwillingly get divorced than to become girlfriend boyfriend (haram relation) and breakup. Every moment spent in halal marriage (sunnah) will earn reward and every moment spent in haram relation would fetch sin.

[@firefly22134]

Sounds like the families really failed her, they should have gotten them to live with eachother as well so the husband begins to understand that he is responsible for another woman, also responsible for the bills. Instead this young man received all the perks of marriage and none of the responsibilities, how was he going to approach his relationship as a man then! Also, as a wife she would also quickly realise that marriage is not about endless hours of conversations on the phone but also taking care of the household. Neither of them were allowed to mature within the relationship as parents wanted to still control the situation and Molly coddle them.

[@al_n1kah]

We didn't really get into the detail of the family relationship aside from what the sister mentioned. But I do have some sympathy with the parents. Often those responsible for us can see our weaknesses and lapses in judgment, hence the seeming lack of support for the actions we want to take. The notion of supporting your children through thick and thin is a noble one, but it requires a degree of parental detachment that sits uncomfortable with many. Marriage is one of the most significant life decisions people will make and it's not unreasonable for parents to want to be involved in that conversation and indeed guide their children through it, precisely for the reasons covered in this and other videos in our series. May Allah protect us all. Ameen.

[@londonoxfordstreet]

Prophet ﷺ advised muslims to marry young! She did good & married at 19 instead of doing haram. Respect for the sister!

[@al_n1kah]

Some interesting perspectives tendered. Some would agree with your viewpoint, upon reflection I don't think this young lady is one of them. Readiness for marriage is as much about intellectual and emotional maturity as it is about biological development. And the two do not always corelate with one another. May Allah protect us all from evil and sin.

[@tahavurkhan5443]

Absolutely wrong advice by you brother, as far as I am concerned. Yes parents advice matters, but they shouldn't hold marriage of a son or daughter just because the other person isn't settled at the moment.

[@al_n1kah]

@@tahavurkhan5443 let's agree to disagree on that one.