19f Pregnant Needed $150 For Urgent Care, I Said Get A Pay Day Loan AITA

[@LostCause-69]

For the first one, she is the type of parent who won't help her kids, but will feel entitled to have help from her daughter whenever she needs it.

[@ilikecats9886]

🎯🎯🎯🎯

[@damoneboyd9945]

Wrong

[@dyonamann3916]

But her daughter burned that bridge herself

[@christina1764]

​@@dyonamann3916 how please explain?

[@Amy_The_unbearded]

​@@dyonamann3916 how did the daughter "burn that bridge"? Sounds like if anyone burned it, it was the mom.

[@melissaclark1051]

1st story. The Mum got pregnant at 15.

[@mikeb3717]

Not only that but she's been dating her bf for 5 years and their kid is 4, so she got pregnant almost immediately.

[@dergluckliche4973]

@@mikeb3717 Yep. Trashy.

[@LinneAzalea]

@@mikeb3717 First of all that could have been an accident. But also, getting pregnant very quickly into the relationship when you are over 30 is actually really common and doesn't say that much about people. I know of at least 3 couples that got pregnant within a year of dating, all all them are educated with good jobs. The OP is trashy for tons of reasons, but having a kid early into the relationship at that age isn't necessarily one of them

[@jimdob6528]

That’s a solid point. But I’m annoyed people are focusing on her dropping out of a Christian boarding school. The daughter picked it and the boyfriend paid for it. I would ignore her ass too if my spawn wasted my money and resources like that. Sounds like the daughter didn’t graduate at all and moved away at 18 and decided to be adult enough to have a baby or get engaged so she should be adult enough to deal with her own consequences. Mother is still a failure IMO. We are missing a lot of information

[@LinneAzalea]

@@jimdob6528 Then you're not ready to be a parent. Had my daughter picked a school that later turned out to be something she really disliked for valid reasons, I would support her, not shame her and abuse her by giving her the silent treatment that you want to do. So please don't "spawn" until you're more mature, that way you won't raise kids that will need to spend thousands in therapy in the future

[@RevWarRev]

Story 1: So this mum is upset that her daughter is following HER example and behavior SHE modeled. This young woman doesn't need a payday load, she needs someone to tap into social services for medical care and financial counseling.

[@mimiandy1683]

A little update from a reddit post that Mark covered in an older video: the OP, whose friend threw his late grandfather's rock out of a moving car. OP HAS FOUND THE ROCK!!! He had gathered a search party that comprised of his friends, including the friends that originally sided with Jane, a.k.a. the rock launcher. They searched the area and a friend found the rock. In regards to his friendship with Jane, it is strained. But she did apologize to OP and he accepted her apology. But he stated that their friendship won't be the same.

[@Dragonemperess]

Thanks!

[@bobbyjay205]

that outcome Rocks.

[@blackcat8807]

Thanks! I am so glad that he found it.

[@addicted2mako]

Oh, that is so wonderful to hear!

[@heatherdickau5335]

Rock on!

[@sylvestercat1898]

Story 4: NTA. He should’ve told his step-mom, “That’s rich coming from the bitch who broke up my family.”

[@aless2906]

100% this, that would have been icing on OP's cake

[@heathermiller5765]

Yeeeeeees thank you! My thoughts exactly! 😬

[@Snipergoat1]

Fuck no, that would leave her open to. "After listening to you, I can see why your father abandoned you."

[@azadalamiq]

story 1: yta... even my abusive family took me to the doctor, and my family was toxic af.

[@notoriousd.i.g.87]

Story 3: "Everyone keeps saying I'm being bitter." HELL YEAH I'D BE BITTER. You not going to call my child "this" and disrespect the mother of my child and expect me to just forgive you. Honestly, OP handled this way better than I could have because those would be fighting words for me.

[@sammieh9695]

my paternal grandmother called my 3 month old "retarded" everyone said it was just because thats what they called it back when she was young, they weren't there and didnt hear her laugh when she said it. I went low contact and only communicated via social media. when he was 8 moths old he got his first pair of glasses and I posted the picture because he was so cute, she commented "oh he look autistic haha. he's not autistic is he?" I blocked her on everything because I wasn't having her negativity I my life. I told her she would never see me or my son again and stuck to my word, I didnt even go to her funeral, everyone told me i would regret not seeing her and not mending the relationship before she died, i don't regret it 1 bit. yes my son has CP and autism but I'm not going to let anyone treat him the way she was or laugh at his disabilities

[@rayfordreed9304]

Story 1: imagine calling someone else irresponsible with money and suggesting them to get a 400% interest. Clearly the kid is better than OP with money, at least they knew not to get a payday loan.

[@DryPaperHammerBro]

400%, or 4000%?

[@pansprayers]

6500% in states like UT where there's no protection ceiling

[@christina1764]

It should be illegal to have a loan company that charges such insane interest rates 400% is crazy 4-6500% is insane 😲😳😖

[@Mewse1203]

God...that first OP just abandoned her daughter She dropped out of senior year and dude gave her the silent treatment? Wtf? That's straight abuse.

[@lazulaufca2996]

He was just upset he couldn't get rid of her well that's what it sounds like and the mother is no better they both were trying to write her out of their new family

[@Aurummorituri]

Uh, no? OP straight up recused herself from the position of having to take care of her trashy daughter who would prefer getting knocked up and cleaning houses than completing school and being somewhat more succesful. NTA. Why should she be forced to accept that leeching?

[@mkuti-childress3625]

@@Aurummorituri Well… the daughter isn’t forced to accept the behavior of her incredibly hypocritical mother, either. Her mother got pregnant at _15_ and is completely dependent on her boyfriend to the point that she can’t even give her own daughter $150 to get urgent medical help. I’m old and married, and my retired mom on a fixed income would still help me with medical expenses if I needed it.

[@Obiwantuan]

@@lazulaufca2996 if the BF wanted her gone, he would not of spent money on the private school stepdaughter wanted.

[@megaman37456]

@@Aurummorituri Found either the mother or the boyfriend.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

Story 4: NTA, he abandoned you for his new family and took you out of obligation not out of a desire to do right by you. Now he's upset because you're not catering to his desire to keep up the "big happy family" facade

[@barbarastorball2117]

Agreed. It sounds like the dad thought he could simply pause their relationship in pick it up whenever it suited him. The dad has himself only to blame for his son wanting to move at 18 and never come back. And the stepmom isn't any better because she's mad that Op is refusing to play happy family when in reality the dad wasn't even in op's life after he cheated on the mother.

[@karendaniel620]

Story 2: I'm married to a diabetic. They don't always KNOW they're sugar is low. That's a part of it.

[@schmalzilla1985]

Sounds like the mom is sacrificing her daughter for financial security, no telling the other forms of abuse she is accepting from him, and taking out on her kids. Feel bad for the young boy.

[@cryptiecreep]

I am a type 1 diabetic. When you're low, you can get to a point where you can't even speak or effectively communicate. A few times I've dropped so low that I had visual hallucinations (seeing static or red sparkles) or delusions (was confused and thought I was a character in a movie I just watched.) It's fucking scary.

[@thePanda_huma]

Would you say educating those around you is vital?? Giving them the knowledge of what to look for and what to do?

[@hlcooper]

to be fair wouldn't the fact that she was coherent enough to yell at stepmum that she has low blood sugar and go into a rant mean that she was coherent enough to fix the issue herself?

[@Sar_bear]

@@hlcooper From what they wrote seems like it was a bit after the fact when the stepdaughter ranted about it. I'm also a type one diabetic and if my blood sugar gets too low I start to slur my words, not be able to hold a coherent conversation, I get shaky, my vision and get blurry, my whole body feels really heavy and tired. Symptoms can be different between person to person but in general from the other diabetics I know, people can get pretty incoherent when they're low, it can get very scary very fast. I've seen two different girls pass out/have seizures from low blood sugars and they were people that were very good at taking care of their diabetes.

[@nuttypwrpuff]

@@Sar_bear I think the problem in this story is that step-daughter is witchy to begin with so step-mom didn't notice anything different other than the time. And I'm not by any means saying that step-mom isn't a bit witchy herself because I think they play off each other.

[@cryptiecreep]

@@thePanda_huma I believe so. I was diagnosed very young, so thankfully my parents know what to do. When I was in school, my teachers were all given the rundown as well, so they knew what to do. My kindergarten teacher actually saved my life after I passed out during one of our lessons.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

Story 3: NTA, he couldn't even be bothered to call your child by her name. She is his rebound grandchild. Don't let your child be the 2nd place for ANYONE

[@MrJpaynebb]

NTA and if he wants to talk to make amends then he needs to call OP like a man would and not use his wife and family members as intermediaries. If OP agrees to talk then it's in a neutral setting alone where OP can express his grievances to his dad. Dad needs to apologize in person to OP and OP's wife. No apology then no visits. He cut himself out of your daughter's life OP and it's on him to build a bridge, not you.

[@Carla_Valjeta]

I disagree with the NTA, the OP is an AH for saying their daughter has a defect, just because your kid has Down-syndrome doesn't mean they have a defect.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

@@Carla_Valjeta I think thats just because they don't know what to really call it. They are still learning

[@Carla_Valjeta]

@@TheZombifiedFairy there is a lot of other more polite things they could have called it, but they went with defect.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

@@Carla_Valjeta again, they are learning. It was poorly worded, but that doesn't make them an ah

[@Ventura574]

I had a diabetic friend in HS. Anyone sleepiness over had to learn to see the signs of high/low blood sugar, how to administer insulin, etc. I learned that at 14 and slept over only a handful of times. If you live with a diabetic, you should definitely learn to recognize the signs.

[@ilikecats9886]

That 1st story is just another case of a parent choosing their lover over their child.

[@15oClock]

1. What the hell is going on in OP's house!? There's just so much going on here, the question isn't the worst. 2. Dani has a terrible support network for a diabetic! OP isn’t helping her, nor is anyone else. 3. Let's be honest, the dad's ableist. If this was his reaction to getting a grandchild with Down syndrome, let him live with it. 4. Has ever actually apologized? You can't get over a lifetime of neglect with a trip to Disney World. 5. Landlords need to eat, despite some abusing their position. OP was the one who got abused, not his tenant.

[@amandadiaz6335]

Can we talk about the fact that the boyfriend in the first story sent this woman’s daughter to boarding school so that she could move in with him and have his child?

[@jackiewepps4694]

My dad is teaching me money management. The first lesson he ever gave me, when I was still in my mid-teens: "Don't get a pay day loan, no matter what."

[@cheskydivision]

No grandfather is the one that walked away. Everyone is telling you to see him but has he taken the time to knock on your door and apologize?

[@digit5465]

It should really be the oppisite, them telling the granddad to get him to call him

[@addicted2mako]

AITA for telling my daughter to get a payday loan? Mark: Yes. Took the word right out of my mouth, my friend!

[@MarkNarrations]

Hate them with a passion!

[@shinai4307]

Story 1. It sounds like the bf sent the daughter to bording school to get rid of her to be honest. The fact that she dropped out is just his justification for his actions for not wanting the daughter. Notice how he had a new kid with op hmmm.

[@terminalheadcase]

I was thinking the daughter probably was experiencing bullying either from teachers and/or other students. It's a small private Christian boarding school and her mother is living with and having an out of wedlock child. From my own experience, that generally doesn't end well for daughter

[@niueansaiyan09]

I would just YTA simply because of principle: It's not the money, it's the fact that she is hoping you would support her in her time of need. But it seems OP doesn't care in the slightest and is prioritizing her own partner over her daughter.

[@mazdarx-8rotary.97]

So what if he had his own child?

[@AngelaMerici12]

God forbid he has a kid! 🙄 My lord.

[@lazulaufca2996]

Thank you that was my first thoughts too

[@IsMgb45]

Am I the only one who feel there is something wrong with the possibility of op's boyfriend getting angry because of money op spend? I mean, if I undestood right, op receive a certain amount to spend however she wants, but if she decides to use her "allowance" on her daughter, he gets mad? Isn't that a bit extreme?

[@liamlemo93scott]

It's straight up financial abuse which gets missed way to often sadly.

[@zerobolt9506]

🤔 you make a good point...

[@anikanele7958]

"I get money that I can spend however I want, except for expensive things, things he thinks are stupid or people he doesnt like" yeah, that sounded wrong to me, too

[@philwill0123]

Its financial abuse straight up. Signs are she has no job, and is totally dependent on him for money and him having financial final decision. The fact she is 35 and doesnt has 150 dollars of her own is worrying. She is trapped in an abusive relationship and dont even know it.

[@AlisonCasilli]

Considering that the daughter basically spit in his face when he put out the money for her to get an education, I don't think he is out of line at all in saying he doesn't want to encourage any more of her bad financial decisions.

[@sinister5728]

Story 4, when the coworker said “ungrateful shit” I was actually losing it with laughter

[@lizcatty9281]

Was in a very similar situation as OP in story #1... Except my 19yr old (when I was 35, with a 1yr old) came to me with queries about the best sort of pay day loan she could use- I said none, coz they're bloody terrible & you'll end up paying back triple! I was a single mother with very minimal income & have numerous medical issues, but I've also always put aside small amounts in2 savings accounts for purposes of unexpected things that my children may need like doctors appointments! So I've got her covered (unless she expects me 2 outright buy her a car or something lol!)! Seriously OP, just be a decent bloody parent! Edit: My girl is awesome & coz I didn't want/expect her 2 pay it back (coz it was medical & that's what that $'s there 4.), she did by buying me random but necessary or very usable household items etc. (She has her own place, so not even 4 her use.) I love it, she's so sweet & independent! 😇💜🇦🇺

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 3: I was wondering how a person would disown someone who would be a child. The father of op is absolutely despicable and disgusting. Op is absolutely right to not allow his dad near his daughter.

[@brendacastro9069]

1story: Wow she seems being so lazy as a mother...It's just...the fact that the daughter is still alive is a miracle.

[@Cecelia021]

Is there any update to that story? 😐

[@saltysnake3774]

@@Cecelia021 No, but it's still only been a day. A couple of people actually offered to give her the money to help her daughter. Here's the link: www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/llaomr/aita_for_telling_my_daughter_to_get_a_payday_loan/

[@Andrew-fq7pu]

The mother sounds like a piece of work, but she was clear: she doesn't have any money. The daughter begged her Mom's boyfriend for an expensive opportunity to indulge her fantasy of being an artist, then threw it away when she was expected to put in some work. Does anyone believe the daughter actually requires "urgent care"? It sounds like she's calling her mother for drug money. If you require "urgent" care, you go. You don't start ringing around looking for "one time" loans.

[@samuelwolch1302]

Payday loans are also a carnivorous plant of slow financial death. There’s a reason they’re so despised

[@pikachurules100]

It also sounds as if she is judging her daughter for having a child so young, even though she had a daughter a 16!

[@shanittathompson2039]

The Baby story...Op's mom is an AH too! Ain't no fucking way, I would let my husband disrespect my son and his family!!! HANDS WOULD HAVE BEEN THROWN!

[@feralgoblin1150]

My husband is a diabetic, got diagnosed a week after we starting dating back in 2015. We learned how to manage and understand the signs together so we can both work to keep him healthy. Low blood sugar is no joke and scary, so is high blood sugar for that matter. He's usually really good with monitoring himself and stays on top of his diet, but things happen. I've woken up to him frantically tapping my arm to wake me up cause his sugar crashed over night and he can't move well, him standing in a room not knowing where he is, him suddenly getting confused while driving and having to pull over, etc. I keep snacks in my purse and car at all times in case his insulin kicks in quicker than expected while were out. We don't expect people to cater to his needs, but understanding that someone you live with/are friends with has a disease that can change quickly is so important. I just thought that having an understanding of your loved ones needs was basic human compassion but *shrugs*

[@Alyrulz421]

"AITA?" "uh, yeah" "Wow whatever you just don't get it" I never understand why these kinds of people even ask if they've already determined they're right in their own minds

[@itsjustmaddisen]

They want to have a pat on the back to stroke their ego. Have people go “WoW YoU’Re sO RiGhT” because narcs gonna narc.

[@cheskydivision]

A woman living off her bf. Not good with money giving bad money advice. If your not married you should have a job.

[@squirrel670]

unless something is seriously wrong with you and/or you have family you can trust.

[@AKilahVamp]

What does being married havento do with having a job?🙄

[@squirrel670]

@@AKilahVamp if you with a partner and they say quit your job everything will be fine, you shouldn't rely on them without being at least somewhat legally safe. Money is freedom

[@groofromtheup5719]

seriously, OP must be a huge CF to have BF that tight with her money. OP definitely needs her own money.

[@janet6421]

​@@groofromtheup5719 Pay attention to the numbers in this one. They were dating for 5 years. They have a 4 yo. She moved in AFTER the baby was born. "When we moved in" (4 years ago) he payed for a charter school for her daughter until she dropped out (at 17,after 2 years tuition was spent) when classwork got hard. Mom baby trapped him. She is not the first person to financially manipulate him. "he's been burned in the past by people overspending his money" Mom gets a set amount of money and he doesn't care what she spends it on as long as she "doesn't spend it too fast or on something stupid." If she puts all her fun money to help her daughter I doubt he would object. That said mom would need to be willing to sacrifice something and have a grownup conversation with BF.

[@firerosenight6937]

omG! The beginning when you read the first title and did that quick little "Yes-" I. Freak'n. DIED! I was laughing hard enough for tears to mess up my eyeliner! Why was it so funny to me?! Oh Gods I'm dyeing here! 😂

[@cloud77ism]

Haha same here

[@ethnedragon8287]

Right? It was precious!

[@carg0_b00m]

what................................, i guess i dont have a weird humor.

[@trainerlesseevee478]

Is it just me or is Mark aggressively saying "WHAT IS UP GUYS?!" the best thing ever?

[@FullMoonEnglish]

Story 1: That "Good Christian Boarding School!" gave me the shivers. I have a friend who was sent to evangelical day schools as a child and her stories are nightmare-inducing.

[@beckaworcester8313]

I'm 28, and have had type 1 diabetes for 19 years. One time, I had a low blood sugar that hit me out of nowhere. I was confused and disoriented, so much so that I tried to walk right out of front door. Had my mom not known the symptoms or had she not been paying attention, I could have walked into the street or gotten lost. The 2nd OP is definitely TA.

[@Nyanx4]

Story 1: Your boyfriend sounds like a control freak. Why is your boyfriend more important than your daughter? Because she dropped out of school, she's somehow less deserving of your help or your boyfriend's respect? Helping out your daughter getting medical treatment is not at all equivalent to expenses like designer bags or takeout food. It's medical care. If your boyfriend would freak out over that, maybe it's you and the boyfriend that are the problem. Finally, pay day loans are predatory. OP's financial advice sucks as much as her attitude towards her daughter.

[@jeremyweekes2126]

I don't think he's a control freak. My late wife had 2 teen kids who went to a private school who I was a step parent to. My late wife & the kids father paid for the private school so it didn't effect me. However her teenage daughter started pulling the faking sick to come home from school thing quite regularly at one point. Now if I was the one who was paying for her to go to a private school I would've been extremely pissed off with what she was doing. Someone mistreating your generosity is extremely disrespectful, & it certainly doesn't make you an A-hole to be rightful angry with that disrespect. Nor does it make you controlling to place conditions on any further generosity.

[@baconfluffy]

@@jeremyweekes2126 If she was faking sick, she was probably being bullied at school or she had extreme anxiety. That's one of the biggest warning signs of it.

[@jeremyweekes2126]

@@baconfluffy, that definitely can be a cause, but not in this case. She was 14/15 at the time & started dating a 19 year old boy who had his own car. They would say they're just going to go out to get some Hungry Jacks (which is what Burger King is called in Australia) & leave in his car. They'd be gone for well over 2 hours (when the closest Hungry Jack's is only a 10 minute drive) & come back hours later with a BS excuse for where they were & what took them so long. I wasn't born yesterday so I knew exactly what they were doing & I put a stop to it by telling her she was no longer allowed to go off alone with him in his car. She was pissed off that she wasn't getting her own way & was simply acting out because of it. The joke was on her though because every time she pulled the faking sick to come home routine I would refuse to let her boyfriend come over that afternoon. I would tell her "sorry, but if you're too sick to have stayed at school then you're too sick to be entertaining guests" lol.

[@ilikecats9886]

@@jeremyweekes2126 uhhh thats 19 year old is preying on that girl.

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

@@jeremyweekes2126 " dating " nah he's preying on that girl.. The reason she was probs acting thay way was most lilely because of him. Older people when preying on younger people try isolating them and isolating them from their school friends and others that can help in the education system are a big part of that.

[@jazz692]

Story 1: YTA. A BIG one! The audacity to turn to Reddit to soothe your guilt about abandoning your child for a cushy life is gross. And don't forget, you might have given him a kid and husband benefits but he hasn't given you a ring. If he gets bored or finds someone more ambitious/better looking etc than you, YOU'RE ON THE STREETS!! Gross!

[@femalepapyrus]

Aits for telling my daughter to get a payday loan? Mark:yes 🤣😂

[@sazashleigh]

Story 2: Absolutely YTA. My brother is a type one diabetic and a lot of the time when his blood sugar gets low he doesn't realise. Her being cranky and irritable is more than likely BECAUSE of her diabetes. It's a symptom! It doesn't matter if she'd an adult and "should be able to take care of herself", if you live with someone who has medical issues you NEED to know what their symptoms are so that you can recognise when something isn't normal and get them medical attention is required.

[@jmarie9997]

But the DAD doesn't know the symptoms either! Her actual PARENT!

[@axepagode33626]

Story 2: I find this interesting. The father and brother don't know the signs of low blood sugar, but the step mom is the one at fault. Misogyny?

[@blackghostart308]

See, my mom is diabetic and the only reason I know what low blood sugar episodes look like is because I have random episodes where my blood sugar drops for no reason.

[@bobbyjay205]

not misogyny totally. she didn't tell her own mom what to do. entitlement is what i got. she expects everyone else to learn about her illness, even though she never discussed it.

[@axepagode33626]

@@blackghostart308 Strangely enough I have several family members with diabetes. However, I have never witnessed an episode of low blood sugar. Now I have witnessed several of high blood sugar episodes. My family has the worst eating habits. I swear. My mom would take a shot of insulin and then eat a bowl of ice cream or some other sugary dessert. I used to think she was crazy. She turns 84 soon. Maybe she has it right

[@blackghostart308]

@@axepagode33626 fair enough, if she does that at 84, she my have cracked the code.

[@Snipergoat1]

Something I find interesting. People who immediately jump to misogyny when anything is wrong regarding a woman are almost always assholes. Because of the myriad things that could lead to low blood sugar not being recognized in irritable and moody person a deep generalized dislike of all women is the most likely. You are taking a pet word and trying to apply inappropriately. Your thinking is backwards. You take symptoms the then diagnose the disease. You don't take the disease and then attempt to fit it to the symptoms.

[@emm_uhh]

When I was 6, my classmate had diabetes. Our class and our parents were all informed and my teacher did a little lesson about what it was, how people live with it, and we we need to look out for.

[@thePanda_huma]

I wonder whether OP was given the same information or told about the signs to look out for

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@thePanda_huma It sounds like it's a "yes, but actually No" type of situation. It seems like the stepdaughter just wants any reason to push the stepmom out of the family. From the story, she was only diagnosed about a year or so ago, (which is odd for it to go undetected that long. Type 1 is usually diagnosed very young), the "doting" bio dad and brother don't even know her signs, yet the shunned stepmother is supposed to be the sole person who can recognize and monitor the antagonistic stepdaughter's signs. This brings me to the most important point; if the stepdaughter's signs are "moody and irritable" and she is ONLY moody, irritable, or ignoring OP, is OP just supposed to assume that the stepdaughter has low sugar 24/7? Should OP give her a glucose tab every time she sees stepdaughter? How is OP supposed to discern "Ok, this time when she's ignoring me, it's because of low sugars, but that time when she ignores me, it's not"? Oh, and Editor at 5:39 - Fuck off. As a mother of a diabetic son, it IS my duty to monitor his glucose levels, medicine and moods. However, if he was an asshole to someone 95% of the time, I wouldn't expect them to be able to discern if him being an asshole to them was due to his sugars or his attitude, and I wouldn't hold them accountable for that which they can not control. Plus, as adults, she (and my son and all other diabetics) need to be able to recognize their own symptoms and how their body feels instead of only relying on others to notice for them, because, and this may be a surprise - Someday you may be alone and need to recognize you're not feeling right and you need help. If no one is in the room to notify you that you aren't doing well, who will you blame then, Editor?

[@azadalamiq]

@@Original_Tenshi_Chan sounds like the family is just straight up neglectful to the daughter. It does happen, i have a heart condition i was born with, took till i was 11 years old for parents realize it. was showing signs as young as 4. hell one christmas i had a hard time breathing, and felt very sick. My parents kept claiming, i had to go back to bed and just make it up to be up earlier. It took my mom actually turn on the light in anger to see my face was pale and my lips were blue. turns out i had a 103 fever and was having a bronchial infection. parents think kids fake sickness all the time to get out of stuff... until the kid looks like they are on their death bed.

[@minejager1818]

@@Original_Tenshi_Chan I was diagnosed at 19 too. I had symptoms for half a year before my diagnosis. I will make everyone I ever live with aware what symptoms of low blood sugar are if I cant help myself. As a stepmother its your duty to know things like that. That is if you want to have a relationship with the child. As if diabetes wasn't stressful enough

[@nucitamoore]

"If ShE nEeDs HeLp ShE cAn AsK" This angers me so much. No she can't. As the daughter of a diabetic I know they can't even form a coherent sentence when it is too low. The first time I experienced this I didn't know what it was but I KNEW something was wrong. I was 14. The op CHOSE to ignore the signs. They are clear.

[@notevenlistening6072]

Story 3: nta Protect your angel from that type of person. My little man has Down Syndrome, and this story is infuriating and sad. He's missed his opportunity to know that precious child.

[@philwill0123]

A decision made 3 years ago? No its a decision he still making a day ago. Grandad is to gutless to apologise himself and instead sending people out to abuse OP. Even more gutless and the sign of some who doesnt want criticism of shitty behaviour and expects everyone to "suck it up".

[@desmond_craddock_5226]

I’d evict that tenant as soon as it’s legal

[@hhhhhhhh704]

PSA: Never get a payday loan

[@nerdy_evy]

Story 3: he didn't even contact her and apologies or anything! He's getting other family members to guilt trip them instead

[@pearl_lisha896]

1st story: OP is the AH because she keeps failing her daughter over and over and doesn’t see how bad her advice or lack of is bad lazy parenting. 2nd story OP is not the AH, ESH if everyone else doesn’t know the signs. SD needs to teach people what early symptoms she experiences. 3rd story: Obviously NTA 4th story: OP is NTA but I hope OP’s can help him heal and help bring his dad back into his life or to cut contact all together.

[@bonnie.f]

2nd story- why is it SD's responsibility to teach others to recognize symptoms?

[@AngharadMac]

I've had to do payday loans before. It's terrible. They let you "rewrite" the loan for another 2 weeks. And just compounding the interest. It's a horrific practice. That gradfather needs to apologize, sincerely, to his son and granddaughter. Then let them decide if that's enough to let him back in.

[@respawnfn3914]

Wow she was 15 when she first got pregnant😭

[@alexvalentine5091]

Not surprised since mom sounds terrible

[@LilChuunosuke]

Story 4: When you make a mistake and cause someone pain in their lives, it's your responsibility to grow as a person and make sure you don't do shit like that again. But it's also your job to understand that the person you hurt is under zero obligation to forgive you, especially when it's horrible shit like destroying a family, abusing a child, cutting contact with a child for petty reasons, etc. You've done them phycological harm and damage. They aren't going to want you back and it's your job to accept that it's your own damn fault.

[@Sar_bear]

For the 2nd story in my personal experience as someone who is a type one diabetic and has been a camp counselor at a camp for kids with type one diabetes for years, the whole family are the AHs for not caring enough about the stepdaughter to notice when her blood sugar is low. The symptoms of someone being low can almost be like the symptoms of being drunk, the sluring of words, incoherent, grumpy, loss of coordination, and shaky. If they're living with her it's honestly pretty ridiculous that they can't at least sometimes tell when she is low, like if I can meet a kid on a Monday for camp and then by the end of the week I can just tell that their blood sugar is low by the way their acting, trust me they should be able to tell when their family member's blood sugar is low by now. Hell I don't think I've ever sat down and explained to my friends what my low blood sugar symptoms look like but they can tell when I'm low just from paying attention and from seeing that I'm not acting like I normally do.

[@averymartin1327]

Why doesn't the mom get a damn job? It seems like she's relying on getting all her money from her BF.

[@Darlin_86]

The diabetics stepmother may as well have said that she didn’t care if the child dies; which is likely to happen if stepmom refused to learn about the disease

[@bobbyjay205]

What about the rest of the family, and the real mom? the daughter did not take it on herself to be informative to anyone.

[@jinxstheories4263]

How the hell is the woman suppose to know the difference between how the step daughter usually treats her, and how she acts with low blood sugar?

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 1: Um. Op got pregnant at 16. Did she have a steady job then? Also, a person who financially supports their spouse, whatever money they give their spouse becomes theirs. She can give her $150. The BF sounds like a jerk

[@AlisonCasilli]

The boyfriend sounds like a person that is keeping a woman, who btw is sounding perfectly ok with that, and is not interested in throwing money away on a grown child who spit in his face when he tried to help her. Sure the wife can go ahead and go against what she knows her boyfriend wants...or she can let her grown ass child figure this out on her own before she is neck deep in debt with a kid she can't support.

[@andredunbar3773]

@@AlisonCasilli The mom advised her daughter to take out a payday loan, one of the most predatory forms of debt in existence that will quickly and easily bury the soon to be new mom in debt. Did you not pay attention to that detail?

[@ruthgriffiths7365]

@@AlisonCasilli A medical issue is throwing money away? Did it even cross your mind that the daughter did not throw the educational opportunity in his face? A CATHOLIC boarding school, the bullying was very likely real,severe and utterly not the daughter's fault. She is the daughter of a woman who was pregnant at 15 and now has a second child by a different man to whom she is not married. There are enough sins in that little equation to keep religious nuts in joy joy land for years! Your lack of compassion for a frightened 19 year old is on a par with the selfish, irresponsible mother and the self-righteous stepfather. Wow!

[@9999plato]

@@andredunbar3773 The payday loan was a bad idea but the bank of mom is closed. Now it's up to the willful 19yo daughter to figure things out with zero money. I have no doubt that OP warned her daughter not to keep this pregnancy but the daughter said ":But you managed" and OP just winced.

[@andredunbar3773]

@@9999plato Nothing about OP's opinion on her daughter's pregnancy is mentioned. The primary reason given for OP's refusal to help is that her bf would be mad, which is a fucking bullshit excuse to not help your kid if you give it five seconds of thought.

[@justinjones-smith5168]

Story 3: NTA. Relationships can't be paused and start back where you left off like tv.

[@CursedDANKmemes]

Mark always says, "Am I The A Hole" And every time I always say no!

[@Yuritsissymaid]

Story 3 : NTA GET FAR AWAY FROM THAT OLD MAN YOU CALL A FATHER!!

[@bonnie.f]

Story 2: I'd love to see OP try to manage a fluctuating blood glucose level and NOT be moody. I'd be willing to bet that a lot of the times that OP thought the stepdaughter was being "moody," she was actually trying to manage a high or low blood sugar. My sister is T1D, and she can be a PITA when her sugar is high, because that's what this does to you. Smh.

[@sun_chariot6141]

First story: YTA. I looked up the symptoms daughter described and it sounds like tinnitus. Ringing in the ears is a warning sign for pregnant women as it's typically seen as a symptom of underlying health issues. It can range from mild to serious, but needs IMMEDIATE attention to prevent it from getting worse. Help your daughter. Worry about the bf later and if he gets mad, let him. Your daughter's welfare may depend on it.

[@9999plato]

I would not jeopardize my current babies welfare and security because my idiot 19 yo dropout daughter decided to get pregnant. Sorry. She is an adult. OP1 knows that her BF has low regard for her 19 yo daughter after she dropped out of the very good school he gt her into. The actions of the 19yo daughter caused him to wash his hands of her. I understand his reasoning 100%. The mother (OP) knows her situation and is not willing to create a rift in her relationship because of her daughters choices. Her daughter chose poorly and will continue to make poor choices because she believes that other people will be responsible for her idiocy. They will not. Giving the 19yo daughter $150 will not fix anything. The daughter will simply return for more money for more needs year after year. Best to nip this in the bud now and let the daughter know that the bank of mom is closed and that she had better start making wise choices now.

[@sun_chariot6141]

@@9999plato loaning your daughter $150 for a MEDICAL issue in no way 'jeopardizes' another child. And given the daughter and boyfriend are working, it doesn't sound like OP would have to wait very long. Ridiculing and judging the daughter for her choices is not in any way productive and are not relevant in what sounds like a serious medical issue. And from OP's own admission, they are in no position to judge.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 4: NTA - "Cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon. Little Boy Blue and the man in the moon. When you coming home, dad? I don't know when, but we'll get together then." He's reaping what he sowed.

[@ThePinkBinks]

No don't let your daughter with downs be around that grandfather. My dad hated disabilities with a deep disgust for reasons that I understand but I was disabled and the low key hate and repulsion he had for me has scarred me deeply for life. It's not worth damaging your daughter for him.

[@digitalharmony26]

Diabetic Hypos are nothing to mess with. My mum is 48 and was diagnosed 4 years ago and when she gets really low, she can’t help herself, or ask for help. I usually spot the symptoms before she does.

[@jazzywolf9250]

The first OP is playing with fire here. Ringing in the ears could be high blood pressure, preeclampsia, and without treatment possibly death for mother and child. Congrats on risking your child and grandchild's life so you didn't dismay the man your leaching off

[@HackiePuffs]

These moms in the first 2 stories sound so condescending I hate it.

[@liamlemo93scott]

Tbf the second one is rather stupid since even with low blood sugar the symptoms can be stupidly subtle, hell I've been diabetic for 13 years now and I still miss the signs in a couple mates of mine.

[@HackiePuffs]

@@liamlemo93scott low blood sugar doesn’t automatically mean seizures and even then don’t neglect her like this

[@liamlemo93scott]

@@HackiePuffs I didn't say it meant seizures... In fact seizures are quite rare. Neglect due to not being told the problem isn't necessarily neglect again the daughter could have easily said something.

[@backpug1228]

The second Op was confronted with an ALWAYS moody, uninterested, backpushing teenage girl that wanted not really anything to do with her. So she learned that she ia not really welcomed by the daughter and she should keep her distance. For the daughter to then blame Op after she taught her this is ahole behavior. Op is mini ahole for not knowing symptoms, rest family more ahole for not knowing and the daughter for thinking she can always antagonize Op and then expects her to see the difference between her normal moody antagonizing self and the low-sugar self that has so similar symptoms, going off on her specifically. Maybe daughter searches for reasons to go off on op.

[@SpookiePossum]

Moms definitely TAH for story 2. My dad is diabetic and I knew the signs of low blood sugar from a young age. I’ve also experienced my dad going into pretty much seizures because his blood sugar got to low. Which as a kid is fucking scary. I remember one time when we were staying at a resort for skiing me and my sister were asleep on the pullout couch and being woken up by my mom chasing after my dad with a glass of orange juice as he walked away telling her that he was fine and his blood sugar wasn’t low. It was.

[@sammicunniam3992]

My Dad is diabetic too, but he's asshole and can go into these moods that have nothing to do with his blood sugar and honestly it's hard to tell when his blood sugar is high/low or he's just being an asshole. Can't ask him to check either without getting ripped a new one about how it isn't my business.

[@somerandoonyt9553]

Story 2. "Walks in the house acting moody like usual" how is that a sign of low blood sugar? That's how most 19 year olds are. Yes, shes kind of an AH for not educating herself, however, what signs was OP supposed to see in this scenario? I'm honestly looking for a legit explanation, because I don't understand.

[@naturalbaby]

Did they try to figure out WHY she dropped out? They didn't seem too invested in her mental health.

[@kenshinhimura2322]

On the second story. The step daughter doesn’t tell them anything. How are they supposed to help if she doesn’t tell them. Or put a poster up about it???

[@Davtwan]

Story 3: NTA. Cut him and anyone who doesn’t want to hear OP’s side of the story. Since OP’s daughter will need a lot of support in her life, OP can’t afford to waste time getting support from nepotistic-blind family members and subpar friendships. He needs to build a network of people who _care._ OP can talk to his dad if he wants to talk about this, but OP has no obligation.

[@sarahjaneuldricks6729]

Sometimes when I know that the content is just going to unreasonably piss me off (such as the title story) I click on the video anyway because the sheer amount of joy in Mark's voice is like a shot of espresso in the morning.

[@stephenlundy5082]

Story 5: I am surprised that OP was even allowed to do that. Where I live the laws are such that the landlord has nearly no rights at all. You can't kick someone out for non-payment of rent, until you go to the landlord/Tenant board for a judgement that takes months. You can't kick people out in the winter. So it could be 6 months without paying rent, three more months waiting to appear before the board (also the board is shutdown right now due to covid) and if your date appears in January, you may have to wait until April before they can be kicked out. Then to add insult to injury, if the tenant comes up with every missing dollar of rent (no interest applies) before being kicked out, the whole process starts all over again. You could go a whole year without getting a dollar in rent. Your bank won't wait a year for your mortgage payment. On top of all that, if you go to sell your rental property because your tenants aren't paying rent, the new landlord can't kick them out either. And the whole process for non-payment of rent starts over again. It really sucks being a landlord. And people complain of the lack of rental properties here.

[@ettinakitten5047]

Story 3 - If he does have the guts to reach out himself, OP should say that he has a lot of apologizing and building trust to do before he'll get to meet his granddaughter. That little girl's wellbeing should be top priority, and if there's any chance grandpa will make her feel bad for being born different, he should be kept far away from her. And OP's wife also has a say. If he's not willing to apologize to her for his comments, or she's not ready to accept the apology, that's a dealbreaker too.

[@sianchild]

I work with young adults with Down Syndrome. They are pretty cool, and have a lot of wonderful things to offer the world. Society's approach towards them (until recently they advised all pregnant women to abort if their child had it) and the assumption that they are a bad thing is so incredibly messed up.

[@lisawhereisthecultjam]

Story 1: What a sad situation. The 35 year old mother is horrid.

[@Type_1_weeb]

If his energy levels keep increasing my mans gonna go super saiyan

[@Type_1_weeb]

Also i must be lucky because im also type 1 and when i go low i just feel a bit off no delirium no strange mood swings And also why didnt the daughter check her blood sugar imo its safe to do it 5 times a day (assuming she is using a finger pricker and not a libre sensor) once when you wake up For three meals and before bed but thats just my schedule or the delirium was affecting her

[@sandragarner2912]

Diabetic: Not just parents, but everyone needs to know about symptoms. Police officers have to be educated on it so they don't arrest someone for DUI that needs emergency medical care.

[@terminalheadcase]

Story 3: While Downs can come from either parent, if age is a factor, (and the only thing grandpa is taking into account, which is highly inaccurate and a butthead move on his part) it probably would have come from daddy's genes.

[@ravenmoon8826]

Re. Story 5: Don't give the locks back until they've paid everything they owe!

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 4: being a parent is about being more than just an incubator/sperm donor. He made his bed, now he has to lie in it. The dad can’t be angry. There’s plenty of dads who are the primary breadwinners, who work a lot, who still make time for their kids, whether it’s talks during dinner, playing games, reading stories before bed. They make it happen. Also, step mom needs to stfu when she slept with a married man.

[@jazz692]

About the ex-coworker who decided not to pay rent when they could afford to: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. NTA!

[@theresaduffy8222]

First story- it’s $150! You are horrible. Just because she’s over 18 doesn’t mean you stop being a parent.

[@peteranon8455]

If the mother's boyfriend pays $150 for this, what will happen with the cost of further prenatal care, birth, vaccinations, diapers, living in an apartment, school for the little one, books, and all the other $300,000 of expenses a child costs? The mom's boyfriend is done supplementing the daughter's income and he knows that "just one time" is "every time."

[@AKilahVamp]

If she doesn't have medicaid or state insurance, how is gonna pay for the baby to be born?

[@commoncrook8531]

Story 5: NTA, that is what I like to call "pro revenge".

[@nicoled5062]

I'm a diabetic and my kids not only know what to look out for, they know how to give me an injection if i can't do it myself. No excuse for the OP to be so ignorant

[@ry.butterfly]

Folding laundry whilst listening to Mark. It's a good day.

[@DragonHuntress404]

Story 2. I was diagnosed with Hypoglycaemia as a kid (12), I grew out of it by age 18 but it sucked. I knew the signs that were visible to me (unsteady hands, pulsing headache and cramping in my chest) but I needed others to point out the irritability and unsteady focus on conversations. I just needed a quick sugar boost since my body couldn't produce it or store it. I joke now that I know the BEST lollies since I tried so many of them. Yes, a 19 year old should understand her own signs and symptoms but in a house full of people (INCLUDING HER OWN FATHER) someone should be able to point out she may need to do her blood level check. People can die from not monitoring their levels properly.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Especially since it’s so dangerous. Sometimes people can’t recognise it in time and if family know and can help, it lowers the risk of something serious happening, including death.

[@ennamatilda269]

First story: man you got your first child at 16??

[@paden1865able]

Some people should only raise rocks, not small humans.

[@ettinakitten5047]

Story 2 - As the daughter of a type 2 diabetic and someone who experienced gestational diabetes, I'd like to mention that the stepdaughter being "moody" could be symptoms of her blood sugar being out of whack. Low blood sugar especially causes depression, confusion, agitation and a feeling of impending doom. When I had a fasting glucose test to diagnose my GD I sobbed uncontrollably for half an hour afterwards and was only able to calm down once I'd digested my lunch enough for my blood sugar to normalize.

[@misseselise3864]

i agree with the first comment on the first story. she had her daughter at 16 and is living off her boyfriend’s money. she’s got no business talking about whose responsible and who’s not.

[@margaretdevries8090]

That grandfather is a monster !! And anyone who has to involve others to correct your behavior is as bad ! Go No contact with them both and anyone else who interferes ? Bet they don’t know the real way he acted !!

[@tweetymonkey]

Mark your content just keeps getting better and better 👌🏾

[@ricardoospina5970]

Diabetic here, I have freestyle Libre 2, it gives real time blood sugar monitors, without a finger pick and lets you download 8 hours of data and checks wirelessly every 2 hours for low and high blood sugar, it's a life charger. Yeah I know it sounds like a commercial, but it's really really neat!

[@rosetyler1434]

Someone I know used a payday loan situation. It was only for a total of $3000 but it ended up costing her over $60,000 with the ridiculous interest over the years, despite her paying a crap load per month

[@dr.kristinedukeawc6799]

Diabetic here. I know when my sugar becomes low. It's like I'm crazy anxious, angry, and I can't hold my body still. Watch the scene in Steel Magnolia's. That's how it feels. I'm lucky that I can reach out and say something to my family. We stop and I get my sugar stable.

[@livaugirard3383]

"She can ask for help" while being incapacitated by low blood sugar. Ma'm, it doesn't work like that. Similarly a stroke or a heart attack victim can not always "ask for help" while under the effect of what ever is happening to them 🙄

[@MaryTheresa1986]

OP #1: Your boyfriend is emotionally and financially abusive. Get a job, move out with your son, and help your $%&*ing daughter. OP 4: NTA. Hopefully the next 4 months fly by. Don't forget to grab all of your important documents on the way out (ss card, birth certificate, etc) and make sure your father and stepmother can't access your money.

[@9999plato]

You have no idea what abuse is. OP1 is very comfortable with their relationship and is not going to risk it because her idiot daughter decided to get pregnant with some fast food worker.

[@normastanley5853]

Get a job and stop depending on your boyfriend..150 dollars ? Really..

[@MsTemptation]

S3:NTA. Ops dad was a grown ass male when he chose to not acknowledge his granddaughter. So he doesn’t get to play the victim card three years later because he changed his mind. He even took back the gifts he purchased after finding out about her disability. Op is doing the right thing by not letting him in that little girl’s life.

[@SheilaNorthcutt]

Story 1: so many red flags. It must have been so difficult asking for help and her mom pretty much slapped her in the face. Somebody needs to be the adult and the 3rd choice would be the 18 year old daughter.