2 Be Better Podcast Episode #30.5 - This Email Was Tough

[@blackharvest13]

I like that peaches corrected you to make sure you understood that she is prideful to specifically be YOUR wife not A wife because there is a big difference. You make it so she can be proud of you and be proud to be yours because of work and effort YOU put into the relationship and yourself. This is something a lot of people struggle with.

[@vramirez1221]

Great Point, agreed

[@melissalaxton3702]

Love that while he called her out about the hat, he could take the same criticism about his tools. This could cause a huge fight in many couples and they just gave an amazing example of how to not get in their feels and just listen.

[@jameejohnson5776]

I know you said this was a waste of time but this is a very real situation for many. You gave us examples (SO GOOD) of how to actually have conversations using different words/verbiage that many of us don't know how to say like that. I.E. I'm told I'm confrontational. I have never thought I was but hearing the words you say and implementing them has changed the way people respond to me. I still feel like I'm saying the same thing but it's not. I need these long examples because you hit so many things and give so many answer and ways to continue to improve. Y'all took the entire journey with them and walked thru how to get there. It's just truly truly helpful.

[@HurricaneHope7]

Sometimes it feels like you guys are calling me out personally on my crap and I love it. I've been listening to you guys for a couple weeks and am seeing growth in my communication and relationship. Thank you!!

[@jds_9461]

Although this was a difficult email for you guys to read and talk about, i found this to be helpful. Besides your input that you guys gave, I can see peaches patience and trying to help chris with his fustration and both having the ability to get through it together. Love that you guys show how to work through things and situations, even if its not about you guys, it helps others.

[@katiereed8361]

I'm glad you said this! It's so easy to see it when it's like this, but when you feel like you're drowning in all of this at home, it's rough

[@debbxz]

Peaches, I adore how you express yourself as a mother. I appreciate how you both show genuine healthy convos. Peaches you made me cry when you told him I thought what healthy relationship was. I broke down because that's exactly how I feel with my relationship. I did cry but of happiness, thank you!

[@kimberlypalma7365]

This was the absolute worst email. Today was my day off and I listened to it while I was up and about and fell asleep for 2 hours in the middle of it. It is very exhausting to listen to it. I can't imagine how it was to go through it and analyze it. Thank you for so much that you do.

[@yayasjourney]

Can I just say I loved when you say “you water me” - that is such a great compliment to a partner and such a blessing to give to someone you love…I feel this same way with my boyfriend and I work to make sure I nurture him and water him as well to help him grown where he needs me and however he needs me.

[@Boudica_Iceni]

I appreciate the time that you all took in reading this email and unpacking it. I would have noped out of this way earlier. However, there was some good info in here on how to better communicate when feeling overwhelmed. I have recently lost my job and I already struggle with mental health. It is something that I actively work on. My hubby and I have good communication, but I have trouble vocalizing when I feel overwhelmed. I feel like you have helped me with that problem.

[@courtneybrown7070]

Your podcast has helped me see I am a problem in my relationship. My boyfriend of 4 years has been saying things to me correlating with a lot that has been discussed here. I love your relationship and I'm determined to be a better person. You guys are wonderful and I'm so thankful for your input into relationships and challenges ❤

[@arianafredenburg5527]

When peaches says you help me thrive, you water me . Yes I could do something dumb and my partner just is there for me

[@matversion2]

I have learned so much about communication from you two, both in explanation during emails, and your organic conversation. I also want to point out the comments posted on screen during the video made me laugh so hard at times.

[@brittanybert7565]

Podcasts are so beneficial to becoming better in every aspect. Peaches, I don’t have kids yet but I certainly want them - I believe I would find any parenting videos you created very valuable as I want to be able to communicate with my kids the way you do ❤️

[@XAnythingButAverageX]

Yes! I would love to see some parenting videos from Peaches❤

[@donna6339]

I love how you guys take both point of views of the emails sent in subjectively. The way y’all converse with each other really helps me with bringing up things to my boyfriend and helps my mindset with us preparing for our baby. I love watching your guys podcasts!

[@blondecatlady]

I know this was tough for you all to go through, but there were some great takeaways for me! Since listening to the podcast, I’ve started a notes page in my iPhone to jot down things I can implement in my relationship. You two talking about how you curtail loss of volume/tone control with “babe we don’t do this” was humbling to hear. I jotted that down to discuss with my boyfriend! Thank you both for the work you do.

[@xFXCTION]

I got CHILLS with the medication/therapist scenario It not only would work, but would lower the amount of suicides and ODs

[@Ahomemakershonor]

I lived that relationship. Yes, we both had our toxicities and shit. But my marriage drastically got better when i finally took accountability for myself. Once my husband felt respected, he was able to give more love. And the cycle continued to get better and still is improving.

[@Miss.darling.]

"Useless tit on a turtle" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'M CACKLING please give us a shirt with that phrase on it 🙏

[@kynziecrotinger]

i think peaches would be a good voice for parental advice, especially because she’s amazing at bridging the gaps between professional talk and simple explanations/breakdowns. i would love advice from peaches and even chris.

[@Blueberry-rx6hr]

I understand this email was tough. I’m just glad you two used and posted this email. It opened my eyes to the basics and a glimpse of the victim mentality. I got overwhelmed after one hour and had to sleep on it. I watched the rest when I got up and had an open mindset. Something about this whole video made me reflect and become accountable. Thank you.

[@SavMoorehead1028]

I just wanted to hop on here and say that listening to y’all has helped me be so much more mindful of my actions and reactions to things. Thank you guys so much for making these videos and y’all are cool af!❤️

[@Tamijo.76]

Y’all got me in tears! Between how you appreciate each other and Peaches talking about how she moms… ugh! ♥️

[@katherinevictoria3880]

I learn so much from you two about myself as a mother and a partner… and just me as myself. You inspire me to think about the hard things, and apply them to my real life. Thank you.

[@brianaboyd7960]

My OCD won't allow me to not clean🤣 just like you peaches I spot clean everyday and once a week deep clean, I even started a business little over a year ago doing commercial and residential cleaning. I thought it would just be a way to make extra money and get my break from the house (I'm a stay at home mom). But after this year the business has grown!

[@mylolak2424]

Peaches and Chris are sooo right about this whole email.. I would be embarrassed if I was the one sending this email. I wanna know this woman’s reaction and response to what they said and if anything has changed in her relationship

[@Midnight-0714]

I can't justify someone using being a student as an excuse for not cleaning. I work hybrid full time and go to school full time. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and I still clean every day. In terms of cleaning being such a chore when I'm deeply depressed you can see it because out of everything the only thing that suffers in my home is putting away the clean laundry. When it's work clothes I put them away so it doesn't get ruined but the rest of the clothes will sit there.

[@shawnweaver9103]

Going through a separation at the moment. I feel very blessed to have access to the content you provide, as it is certainly contributing to my personal healing and growth. Thank you

[@AthenaRoseFire]

Not gonna lie this entire email to me was a stage for her to have a pity party show I complet3ly understand why Chris was over it

[@Izzy-xoxo]

Peaches slight lisp reminds me of my youngest sister.. who's totally such her own person with her own style. Mellow chill and respectful ❤

[@shevanz1589]

Its really important for people to learn to do their own research on subjects that are directly affecting them. You guys are great at this. It was only after doing my own personal research that i figured out i had an eating disorder. Ive been trying to lose weight for about 15 years. I was seeing professionals and everything, i was desperate trying to get help. No one had ever even considered it. Because its so ingrained in society that fat people are lazy and lacking discipline (which is completely untrue). Well im better now, got weightloss surgery, 20kg down and my relationship with food is actually healthy now. Even if i dont lose any more weight i dont care because it was the obsession with food that was really hurting me the most and i dont have that anymore. Its like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. If you have a feeling that something is not right or that theres more to what you are being told about symptoms you are experiencing, trust your gut, if professionals arent helping you you need to help yourself. This happens a lot these days.

[@Epicc928]

Chris’ excitement after the catch phrase 😂😂

[@vramirez1221]

Love your guys' style of communication and content. Subscribed!

[@sbreezej1999]

Peaches i would absolutely love if you could do videos on self regulating when it comes to children. I love your examples and how you teach others and i feel like i would have a lot to learn from you. My son sometimes hits himself out of frustration and no one in the family does this. Hes 3. I would love advice from you when it comes to this because he is also still learning speech.

[@GoldenAureum]

Just here to remind us all that a coffee pot in the kitchen is a social construct! Nobody is stopping you from having the coffee pot in the bedroom or the living room or having a coffee bar literally anywhere in the home! The world is your filter! Brew it 😂

[@Twisty112289]

Very Refreshing, I really enjoyed this podcast, just stumbling upon it with the help of the algorhythm. I appreciate the way you work things out in the middle of things, it helps to bring perspective on how I engage in my own relationships. Cheers :)

[@cmisandwpgj]

It hit me listing to this conversation that my question of why wasn't I enough in my pervious relationships is because I hadn't grown enough to be the person I am now in my marriage.

[@caeres3779]

This is why I gave up on psych meds. They just threw them at me which made me feel like a lab rat and EVERYTHING they gave me made me feel worse then just dealing with my own sh@t.

[@TinyTealTurtles]

Love the new closing catch phrase and that you each get a line to say! 👏

[@TheMaladjusted]

My husband's got me! Like an umbrella "I'm covered."

[@Brokenarrow13]

I adore ya'll. You did not waste time, I know it feels that way but we learned a lot just by yall talking with each other.

[@peytonbrand2019]

LOVE THAT ENDING PHRASE!!!! BOOOYA

[@kevenleigh9407]

I know you guys thought that this was a waist of time but I tend to listen to podcasts before or when heading to bed. The longer the better. I know you guys are busy but this ended up being my favorite podcast episode.

[@liv2967]

Peaches is always soooo cozy looking when they record haha. Makes me want to curl up in bed with a fuzzy robe

[@broski101channel]

This is a prelude to the end of the relationship in this email, I've recently been divorced and have 50/50 custody with the mother of my child, on the days that I don't have my son I was working 2 jobs at around 60/70 hour weeks, I am trying to use the advice that this podcast has given me to improve my ability to parent, I know I am not a perfect parent, and I also admit that sometimes much like Chris I do get overestimulated, I have been through similar things with the mother of my child and my own ignorance and inability to communicate the way that was clear led to the downfall of my marriage, either way i am working to be better and to check myself as my time goes on. If you would like any elaborations please feel free to ask. Thank you for advice Chris's. Kind regards E

[@MrPinchOloaf]

when she said we are on page 9 or 19 i almost shit my pants

[@Bizardouilleuse]

Best comment during the live chat : Peaches is goals !

[@crystalztube217]

I understand your frustration. With this email. However i love seeing your perspective and tough love. Your opinions on this email were very helpful i truly appreciate you posting this one. Ive been watching for a while and ive done a lot of self reflection. Thank you guys for helping me realize i was a lot of the problem. I see the light and thank you from the bottom of my heart. I strive to have a healthy happy relationship like yours. I am taking accountability and, more importantly i am taking actions. Your advice is life changing. Hearing your advice on how to teach a child how to self regulate etc. Would be so helpful but i do not want you to feel obligated to. There are plenty of sources dont overwhelm yourself. When the emailer said in her follow up that as a mom giving up isnt an option and peaches said the same can be said for a wife a lighbulb went off. That was amazing advice. I understand that you are so frustrated someone else couldn't get help from you guys but it wasnt a waste of time for us. I understand you wasted your time and another emailers time. And thats not cool. What you guys do matters thank you so much for all your time and effort. Love you guys keep doing you. ❤️

[@Faeree]

I know you said this was a waste of time but I promise, to us, it's not. I can see habits I used to have years ago in that email. I see how I can do things with my partner cause you two talk about what you do and how you converse to avoid arguing. I know that was a ride you did NOT wanna go on, but it's appreciated none the less.

[@kelseybrooke2394]

Okay , This is what y'all meant by an example of trauma dumping. I understanding Alot better now .🙌🏼

[@Bizardouilleuse]

Peaches Preaches !

[@John-du2mq]

I empathize with people who had shit childhoods but I also loath when people have a laundry list of "diagnosis" and think that people need to tip toe around them because of it. Also use it as an excuse to not try to mesh with a partner.

[@John-du2mq]

If they have that many issues, they have no business getting into a relationship let alone a marriage with someone. The other person doesn't deserve to have a half ass partner because their mental is messed up.

[@chelseacholota8599]

Where we live we have something called a rip program (regional intervention program) and it’s free it’s a class for both parents and children to learn to communicate and for behavioral type issues. Maybe others can check it out and see if it’s a program that’s local to them.

[@kristen1854]

I like to listen on Spotify while I’m at work and watch the KZbin videos when I’m home. I heard this episode on Spotify and was so confused about the random ringing… good thing I also watch on KZbin cause I thought I was going crazy😂😂

[@Zarih67]

I liked the ending. Good catchphrase!

[@taylorpatten8708]

Dudeeee I know exactly who this women is, like the ‘type’😂

[@pixehkrisseh]

I requested that I have a referral to a counselor rather than adding medication and I'm starting the counseling soon

[@dantheokiesooner7048]

Chose Your Hard!!!!! Preach!!!!!

[@GunMarsh1105]

BP, BPD, Anxiety..fill in the blank. People don’t realize how over diagnosed these things are. Not every bad feeling is a disorder.

[@chellelee8586]

I would say as a business owner and mom that I'm on call 24/7 but my work is in certain hours 😅

[@pixehkrisseh]

I love being your sweetheart made me cryyyy 😭

[@Full_Metal_Angel]

Honour, duty obligation. This reminds me of a soldier serving their country, to me there's not negativity with those words.

[@andreabrandenburg2138]

Thankfully i am severely self aware.....a numb mind is the greatest addiction.

[@pizzedoffopossum]

I have a very misc. question. I keep hearing about the whiskey rooms and I'm open to adventuring into a new bottle. What would you recommend as a bottle in the 35-60 USD range?

[@2bebetter]

Russels Reserve. There are a lot of good bottles in that range.

[@kylieh5453]

Never heard of a useless tit on a turtle but I love that phrase I'm going to start using it

[@Stormymoxx]

In a psych class my teacher let me explain with a graph on the whiteboard my personal experience with mental health

[@Stormymoxx]

I explained that in my experience some people start below ground level (and meds can help you stabilize to get to ground level) then at ground level you have to do the work

[@taylorzehner1531]

Have you guys ever looked into the gottman institute. Curious on your thoughts!!!

[@marandaderby440]

Whats up with the bell i keep hearing? Anyone? Just curious 🤔 😊

[@haleymorgan8271]

This is my favorite podcast to listen to while cleaning ❤️❤️

[@debbieburgett2229]

No not a waste. I enjoyed it. I'm at the jumping off point. My man is a gamer..and he does not show intimacy 😢 making my escape plan now

[@acorinne787]

To be fair my husband and I play video games but we don’t have kids yet and we play together. Lay in bed cuddling beating the crap out of eachother in Mortal Kombat😂 but the isolation that resides in their use is definitely a no no

[@acorinne787]

Also just finishing this video up this was one big trauma dump for this girl. Jeez! She needs a therapist and she needs to fix herself before she even thinks about how to have a healthy relationship. Start at the foundation - you.

[@taylorhoup8347]

The ending..... Put that on a shirt!

[@jennaleigh6049]

My psychiatrist is my Best therapist lol I told her that once and she was very quick to tell me she's not a therapist. IDC I never met a therapist I could be honest with like her and she's not a pill pusher she actually has helpful things to say. Although she did get me on the right meds and mgs 😜.

[@danielle7729]

I’m sorry, but I don’t be with my kids every single night either unless they’ve been outside playing and getting dirty. It’s usually an every other night thing and we wash feet and hands before bed. Lol obviously in the summer it’s a little different because they get dirty. I want to add also, you don’t wanna give your kids a bath too much because it breaks down their skin and their natural barrier to fight off bacteria. It also takes off the good bacteria that you need on the skin. If the child’s skin is cracked, it could cause further irritation, and infection from frequent washing.

[@harTAMDG]

That’s totally understandable, but the email indicated that the kids needed a bath on the first day. Maybe i missed them saying kids (generally) needed daily baths, but i took C+P’s comments as not doing what was needed when its needed. It didn’t seem to me like they were saying that a kid should be bathed daily, just that letting a kid that needs a bath go without one is neglectful.

[@lindseyhempstead4201]

The meds/therapy thing should be a real thing 13:18

[@jayddawson-sellars363]

Wow I love the idea of saying that every night telling your kids that your proud to be there mum

[@mamafufs6400]

What is the email address I could send something to get y'all's thoughts on things?

[@anarchyvixyn]

I had to rewind to the beginning to check but there are 6 kids total. His 16 and 9 year old that don't live with them but I'm sure they have visitations. Her 10 year old twins. Then their 2 year old and 3 month old. I point out the additional 2 kids because of the math from the budget at the end - he's probably paying heafty child support for those other 2 kids. I hate to say it but I hope they ended that one.

[@StephanieDuque89]

This was a hard email

[@TerinaRaines]

I say that every time I trip

[@bigpapawolpie3405]

Oof, ilman i feel attacjed sometimes but i need it l, thank you!

[@ammo_sc]

Sorry that email was 19 pages long 😮

[@paintingvalues]

To be fair, you’re not supposed to bathe an infant everyday.

[@Jo3W3st]

I'm depressed for just watching this podcast

[@bigpapawolpie3405]

Shouodve ended that email at the bath. Such a peice of crap

[@tylermiller1699]

Sorry guys there is just far too much duty in this video.😂

[@blackharvest13]

In your own opinion is there anything specific somone can do to "work on themselves" or "do the work themselves " aside from therapy? Not saying it would be a replacement for therapy but sometimes people can't afford the therapy but want to know where they can start on working on themselves. This is all opinion based, not medical advice. Id just like to know aside from therapy what work I can do that might possibly be beneficial.

[@Finalxgirl]

Keeping a journal helps me! Process your emotions and why you react how you do to things. Dissect it and learn about it! It will help alot❤

[@ThunderAngel12]

They have mentioned in, I think was a side piece or an episode, but they recommend youtube videos with therapists! There are a lot of therapists on KZbin that offer advice and therapy, though not individualized, it has all the necessary/important information you can get from therapy. :)

[@blackharvest13]

@@ThunderAngel12 I must have missed that part cuz I am usually working to doing household work when playing their videos. Thank you that's helpful.

[@Zarih67]

Why do kids need a bath every day? Never heard of.

[@meganm3126]

It's concerning that you don't seem to know about mental health medication... It would take way longer than 30 days and a taper schedule to see the effects of the medication. Please don't spread misinformation about these things.

[@simpletimes2819]

They aren't.. these are facts and risks to those medications. Yes they help for sure. But we can all agree they give them to you way to easy now days.. should be reserved for really bad cases. In alot of cases it's given to a patient without life context. Daily details need to be given about one's life.

[@debbieburgett2229]

I can't find you on discord

[@jessecafields7618]

Re listening to old videos while I clean cause I’ve ran out but peaches hair growth since this is insane!!❤️🤌🏻