20 Signs of CoDependency and Tips to Address Them

Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com 20 #Signs of #CoDependency and #Tips to Address Them
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Video by Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes on integrative behavioral health approaches including counseling techniques and skills for improving mental health and reducing mental illness.
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[@DocSnipes]

👌More videos can be found on this topic at kzbin.info/aero/PLcB3trehXswjN2zcpIhN-HNNlLBlPlYoE&si=WqecsyRyerwnWfwb ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

[@carrieallen2047]

I grew up with a depressed alcoholic mother and an older sister who emotionally abused me. My Daddy was loving but, was caught up with my mom and sister and older alcoholic brother all the time. I was always trying to make everyone happy. In my first marriage I realized I was co dependent and married to a sociopath. It has been a constant struggle to not fall back into it. I was a psych RN for 25 years or I would probably never have learned. I read co dependent no more in 1991 and it changed my life.

[@krash6951]

Hey man. I hope you feel better and address these problems to live a richer life. I truly feel sorry for you. It is not your fault. I’m sure your self esteem (how you feel about yourself) is majorly damaged by these traumatic events. Excuse me if you’re a girl but if you look at No More Mr Nice Guy Hero’s Journey (Michael Pariser”, original author Robert Glover, you can find some pretty good stuff that can help you heal. The author has a similar childhood of what you mentioned and lays out good therapeutic processes to help recover the dysfunction you went through, boy or girl. Another book is Healing your Emotional Self by Beverely Engel. This one is my favourite and im currently doing it. Its for those who were abused, neglected or abandoned and wish to heal their self esteem and the dysfunction rooting in those childhood days. Same thing, psychotherapist with good processes and techniques that help you heal. Then you can always call up a therapist to help you if you need so or even bring up those techniques. And its all for the cost of $30-$40! Good luck on your healing, it’s a long one but remember that these things are possible to heal no matter how hard they are. I hope you take the time to take care of yourself so the future you can live happier, healthier and richer.

[@hankhill3417]

It’s called people pleasing. It’s exhausting.

[@carrieallen2047]

I am a woman. I'm much better at these issues now but, thanks for your concern and yes I is exhausting!

[@PabloSteuer]

stay humble and work on yourself as much as you want. we're all humans and no matter what therapy is taken, a lot of problem are made by other humans or our own human behaviours. is there really a solution to being human?

[@mrdylanjoseph]

Depressed alcoholic mother, emotionally abusive older sister. You just described my childhood…

[@HerbsForUs]

I love how in depth this is and realizing I think I may be codependent in my relationships I'm freaking out because I'm scared that I'm never going to be able to fix myself. I'm fearful that I won't be able to learn how to change so my life can get better. I wish they taught this type of stuff in school like they do math. 😔 In life we learn so much stuff that seems to be irrelevant but stuff like this that seems more important we have to dig for.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@gooddaypetal]

I can relate, it’s scary to think and feel you’ll never be fixed and something’s wrong :/. I have learnt it’s a learned thing so we can unlearn 🤷‍♀️ I hope so !

[@zoeazsss5035]

If you can find an inperson codependent group nearby, I would suggest checking it out,, its very helpful, bc others just like you.

[@kylabreezy]

It's definitely a journey. Take it one step at a time (you've identified and have a desire to change which honestly, can be the hardest part), and give your self grace ♥

[@charmainebam7212]

I know exactly how you feel I am struggling with the same fears

[@nishasankaran]

I’m so happy that our understanding of psychology is where it’s at… everyone who studied this stuff and helped ppl throughout all these years. Amazing and I’m so grateful. This entire video is spot on for me.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and, happiness.

[@Aal-2447]

Well said! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@helpmereach10ksubsbeforede53]

Everyone who's reading this, I pray that whatever is hurting or whatever you are constantly stressing about gets better. May the dark thoughts, the overthinking, the doubt exit your mind right now. May replace confusion. May peace and calmness fill your life ❤❤

[@helpmereach10ksubsbeforede53]

Can I get some followers please? 😊🙏

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@zoeazsss5035]

Thank you, thats very kind of you.

[@tammyb8742]

Recovering co-dependent here. I have always given sooooo much that I finally tapped out and moved away from everything and everyone I know so I could start over and find out who I am. I really struggle with boundaries of altruism vs self, ie: we are brought up believing that to give to others is Holy vs doing things for my self and being viewed as selfish. I don't know where that line is yet 🤷‍♀️

[@krash6951]

Thats a proverbs line or something. Doc snipes talks about this in one of her videos, I think its being your own best friend. What she said and what line basically means is that sure its okay to have humility and give to others but not at the cost of your own health and needs. You have to take care of yourself first and then anything else left you can spend that energy to help other people.

[@Bronzey24]

@@krash6951 Exactly. As I've heard people say, you can't pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself allows you to pour into others. ❤

[@TranscendingTrauma]

It’s so hard to see that line when were so deeply conditioned. And made to feel guilty for having a sense of self. It’s like the airplane analogy you have to put the oxygen on yourself first before you can save anyone else. So there’s nothing selfish with taking care of self actually when we learn to care for self we’re actually a lot more healthy for others.

[@meganfox5219]

Me too. 😩

[@jenniferg6818]

Nor do I @ 50 and smart af. So.....not sure it is possible for me.

[@MinimalSymphony]

Excellent, top notch work. Please don't stop coming up with these videos!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks, will do!

[@divaelizares7910]

This was so educational!!! I am 60 years old and barely realizing where my codependency came from. It finally makes sense to me. You have described me perfectly. I am going to do the work to change this behavior. It feels uncomfortable but I have to take the first step or I will never change. Thanks a million!!!!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching the video

[@franceshaggitt3104]

Me too. I feel too old 49

[@jacknjill3000]

I’m also 60 and think I’m codependent and thought about it before but the definitions of codependency is a bit confusing for me. But today I was looking back at many of my failed friendships and relationships and thought why I always attract these bad ppl. tgat take advantage of me or don’t appreciate. Then I thought this is a on going pattern, even tho I’m more careful letting ppl. into my life now. So I realized it was who I kept letting in or taking causing this for myself. These problems were learning experiences, but I took part in bc I was desperate to have closeness and willing to take on anyone who seem to offer it. I went to a few codependent meetings with a friend about 10 years ago, but much of it made little sense back then bc of lack of understand of myself or tgis thing I may have called codependency. Now I want to go to the codependent meetings bc I believe I’m codependent.

[@sterlgirlceline]

Absolutely stellar; as always 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😊⭐️

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@LaineFaust]

Hi, my name is Laine. I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for having these amazing classes on KZbin. I listen to them & save them to share with others. Your classes have changed my life . Especially in the area of childhood trauma, 0:09 codependency & abandonment issues. Thank you so very much 🙏🏽👍🏽

[@a..r.9341]

When you grow up in extrem Christian surroundings and familiy, where they tell you to be a sacrificing being and to be specially a martyr mother (plus duffering other childhood problems and difficult household), it gets incredible difficult to break out codependency and also be a normal Jesus follower. Because not only do you have to correct all this bad things that happend to you but also find a new realtionship to Jesus and GOD and build up a healthy beliefsystem.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@zoeazsss5035]

This is exactly my problem. I feel in a way the church was partly to blame, plus a narcissistic mother, for my anxiety and feeling insecure

[@MARTINTRINIDADGOPSICOLOGOUNAM]

Thanks for the information. I like the way you explain Codependency, clear and easy to understand

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@tripfall224]

I have found the absolute best content on the internet. Thank you Doc Snipes.

[@DocSnipes]

So welcome. I appreciate you watching. Other videos on codependency that might help you can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@drkknath]

Most important video for poeple suffering from codependency issues. Thanks.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@oceansoflorewi]

Couldn't help but laugh at all this - SO many freaking terms and diagnoses to coin who I am after childhood neglect and cptsd. I guess i'm adding this term to my list!!! This is SO ME. My reactions to anything that disrupts my sense of safety- even the most minor risk and inconvenience I am OVER THE TOP with my reaction! Anything where I feel confined, limited, disrupted, unsafe, I go into a complete state of PARANOIA. Like when a lease is ending my heart races in fear- fear the leasing office will not let me continue my lease (for no logical reason). Sometimes i'll be abrasive to test how stable my bearings are- almost like risking the foundation confirms how likely the barriers are to collapse. Being abrasive and unlikable also keeps me safe from users. Im SICKKK! Whats mind boggling is I am also a avoidant attachment personality- so i'll be disassociated and detached and feel nothing for much of anything or anyone yet i'm jittery anxious and codependent and extreme in misc situations. This can't be my life!!!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@zoeazsss5035]

When I feel rejected, I feel this way. Out on a limb.

[@Gumduckylee]

I can't finish this video now, it is too on point even though nothing is new. But I wanted to say thank you for the video.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@irektaflinski5449]

I feel that this is for me completely !!!😭I allowed many people to take advantage of me because of that tendency to please and do all that I thought I needed to keep others from leaving me!! 💔🖤😭😢I had a very critical and demanding parent while the other left when I was 8. Now I’m a woman, happily married but trying to help others I wrecked havoc my finances and then friends or relatives left anyways!

[@SamanthaCarlson-n1h]

Just came to terms that this is me. My childhood was very chaotic and now I am a mother and I feel like I’m drowning right now.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry your childhood was chaotic and I appreciate you watching the video

[@sofiamastrangelo6457]

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge 😊

[@carlenedean8382]

This video is very informative and helpful. In my case, it illustrates how far I’ve come in the past 30-some years in my quest to NOT be codependent. It also reminds me I’m proud of my progress

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and, happiness.

[@wareforcoin5780]

I have such low self worth, that as she was describing to me exactly how guilty and ashamed I feel for the things that have gone on in my life I'm thinking "yeah, but it's actually my fault." Jesus Christ, I need therapy.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. You can find videos on codependency at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency We also have self help courses and worksheets on Codependency at: docsnipes.com

[@jacknjill3000]

Sorry to hear that you have little self worth and hope you can build up your worth. I don’t think that’s my issue with self worth and know my worth, but I tend to need closeness to the point I compromise greatly and take whoever is willing. So maybe I do have low self esteem bc ppl. who have a high self esteem would be more picky about who they let in. I mean I’ve gotten much better as I age to not just let ppl. into my life just bc they’re willing, but now I find I’ve pretty much isolated myself and have few friends. So I need to find a better balance but that’s easy to say but now a days very hard to know what you’re getting in another person and know what their intentions are.

[@lifetimeactor6789]

What a brilliant video. Thank you! What a long, strange trip it's been... (so far) 👍

[@DocSnipes]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@ranc1977]

Ross Rosenberg (author of Human magnet syndrome) says that CoDependency does not exist - instead it is lack of self love. He says that behaviour or care, fawning, empathizing that follow codependency trait - is not pathology at all. That all these behaviours actually work in healthy relationship - whereas if we attract toxic people - these urges become pathology. Our need to explain that is part of abuse, where we are conditioned to be perfect and that we must always have solution in order not to cause pain or temper tantrum in other people. That it is somehow our responsibility how other people feel. In healthy relationship other people would not exploit us or our learned behaviour. They would not parasite over our need to work anything up and solve things beyond our control. If we had self love, self acceptance, all these unhealthy learned behaviour would vanish off. Trauma prevents us from self love and self validation. I would focus on self acceptance rather than picking up on our traits that appear to be codependent. These are safety mechanisms. If we are able to love ourselves, we will reject toxic people and toxic habits - and safety mechanisms will fall off naturally - since there will be no triggers, no danger, no flashbacks and picking up on trauma wound. If we decide to go into civil war with our bad habits - we will develop toxic shame, already present inside us due to abuse and toxic people whom we attracted in our lives until now. As long as we have toxic shame, and as long as we have no self love inside us - nothing will work to heal bad habits and without self love we will never be able to learn healthy defense strategies. Great masters in trauma work such as Peter Levine and Gabor Mate are keep talking that addictions we have - such as codependent behaviour - will not be able to heal if we choose to hate parts of ourselves. IF we do not understand that we are not bad, evil people - we will not be able to understand that there is nothing to fix inside us. If we believe that we must comply to some standards of superiority, being without mistakes - this will make us believe that we are wrong by default. This message that we are not bad person is very hard to understand for targets of trauma, mobbing, bullying and abuse - since the abuse itself is successful attack on our core, self worth. This way, meddling with our mistakes only add up to toxic shame. When we develop self acceptance - we will be able to "fix" anything that is wrong with us - like inability to say No. We will be able to leave things unresolves - without need to fix someone's comment and allegations. This ability to leave things unresolved is huge recovery tip. With instruction (very often present in CBT, self help books and mentors) we believe that we must solve and resolve life - and this belief that we must improve keeps us hooked in codependency and self hate. With abuse we try to fix others and external events and situations - we were conditioned to perform magical acts and to be superhuman in order to be validated, not ignored and accepted. I would focus on our ability to leave things unresolved and see if it helps in calming anxiety and hypervigilance issues. What will happen - toxic people around us will go beserk when we leave arguments, situations, events, things unresolved - and this will be litmus test how to detect covert narcissists in our lives. With self hate we try to get closure - since we have self hate inside, we do not have self worth from which we would otherwise draw light, love, confidence and happiness. Instead, the abuse and toxic shame is driving us to seek approval from others to feel nice, kind, happy and accepted from external resources.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@ranc1977]

@Bruce Waynesjustice Melody is amazing , too. Human condition is not a box. We cannot put a label on something intangible. What works for some people will never work for another. What one experience is totally different from other people - this is why it is important to see all information, not only one. That is why it is important to talk about it freely, without censorship. This is crucial, since wrong information - even when it is given with good intentions - can make us stay stuck in labyrinth forever. Ross is great expert in codependency issues, I would encourage you to listen to his videos. He does not deny codependency per se - in fact he wants us to take different angle. If we label ourselves as codependent, we will start to believe that caring for other people is sick, illness. In the process of labelling we might do additional more damage than good. Caring for someone's emotional state is sign of empathy and love - it works in healthy, normal relationship - where there is normal and sane person on the other side. It turns into pathology when the other person is toxic, selfish, without empathy and full of evil.

[@Onnamusic]

thank you for this comment it's exactly what I was looking for and exactly what I needed

[@ranc1977]

@@Onnamusic 1 year later on - and I discovered that codependency is not abnormality. We all form our identity based on other people - this is totally normal. It is called Looking Glass Self, discovered by Cooley in 1902. I think psychiatry is pathologizing our human daily experience and we end up with shame, guilt and blame - believing that our natural instincts are abnormal and sick, and then end up hating ourselves. The only problem were and always will be toxic people. We need to minimize exposure to toxic people as much as it is possible, for our mental health. Instead of pathologizing ourselves.

[@mapsdot9223]

Codependents are just needy narcissists

[@babylove3885]

Good video thanks for putting this out

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@paulmunoz4599]

Powerful and very impactful

[@DocSnipes]

You’re welcome. I appreciate you watching

[@krose942]

This was a very helpful video. I am working on these issues and I swear this type of information keeps popping up just when I need it most. Thank you for sharing this, it really does help people!

[@DocSnipes]

Glad it was helpful!

[@shaymay2892]

Thank you for your thoroughness.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@eeah3378]

I feel so hopeless. I don’t think that I ever be able to have a healthy relationship, I don’t even have idea how that looks or how I’m supposed to act if not in the same controlling way. I panic every time that I think I have to let go…

[@MysticRey2414]

Ma’am, you are a genius. Thank you for this video it helped me figure something out that was really bothering me!

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm thrilled to hear that the video on codependency signs and tips was helpful for you. It's wonderful that you were able to gain some clarity on something that was troubling you. Your feedback means a lot to me! Also, please feel free to share what you’ve found most useful from the video and, if you’re interested in learning more about codependency or to search for videos in the video library, don’t hesitate to use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes

[@MysticRey2414]

@@DocSnipes oh I’ve been watching lots of your videos since the other night! They’re wonderful! I’m still somewhat new to codependency but I’ve been looking into it for a while and I go to coda meetings because it’s really been a great thing for me and I’ve come a long way but I know I’ve got a long ways to go still. What stuck out to me in this video the most is the part about the chaos and how codependents were so used to it, I’ve been out of my relationship for 9 months now doing really well and then all the sudden I’ve noticed myself subconsciously trying to create chaos and I think the two things are related. Your video is what helped me figure that out 😄

[@hanaamr3685]

Wow. Thank you so much. Love and gratitude from Egypt

[@DocSnipes]

You are so welcome.

[@Barbinez11]

I realize I was raised by a codependent mom. Even as a child I was so intrigued with people and families that express authentic emotions but I didn’t know how to put this in words. I still struggle showing my true emotions too, and honestly I find it easier to just be alone, but that’s not ideal to be avoidant. And I watch my mom still struggle to this day, and it’s sad she has never received help for this condition or is even aware of it.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching the video and for sharing

[@KateLate____]

I don't think you need to have been in a terrible childhood situation to have developed this problem. I think my mother and grandmother developed a sense that no one was there for them, and being conditionally loveable, just by being in a big family, or being in an orphanage. My mum loves me but doesn't express it as much as I'd like. And she's a teacher, so I have that story of feeling like a kid who is in trouble. And I always felt that if I was in trouble or naughty or made a mistake then I was unlovable. So being loved, and even loving myself, became conditional on me always being successful, positive and achieving and doing the right thing.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video and for sharing

[@Denis50832]

Brilliant video !!! Thank you kindly Doctor Snipes !

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching

[@joesoria2624]

I am the youngest of 5. My mom was the one soley responsible for keeping everyone in check at home while my dad worked from 6 to midnight. She tried so hard to mold us to only accept success and nothing else. As good as she thought her intentions were, she made us fear failure. And when we say failed academically she always made sure to know how much we failed her and how she could do better. The only time we were told “good job” was when we brought home A’s and made honor roll. It ate at me all the way till mid way through university. I nearly dropped out because of that mindset. Unfortunately, self-doubt still does rear its ugly head from time-to-time and unfortunately it’s been in my romantic relationships. My last two relationships have failed because of this.

[@joesoria2624]

And my dad didn’t help because he told me making friends was worthless. That they would do more harm than good to me. It took me a while to put trust in others and see the good in others. He’s always focused on making money and so was his dad, my grandfather. Cared more about the money he could bring in and workaholic to a fault. Which is no wonder my dad is so stoic and couldn’t be relied on by my mom to help when issues arose in the household.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you've carried a heavy burden from your upbringing, and it's understandable that the pressure to succeed and the fear of failure have had lasting impacts on your life, including your relationships. Growing up in an environment where love and validation were tied so closely to academic achievement can create deep-seated self-doubt, especially when failure feels like a personal disappointment rather than a part of learning and growth. It's also tough when the people we look up to, like your dad, pass down beliefs that can isolate us from others. It sounds like you’ve had to navigate a lot on your own, learning to trust and connect with others despite those early messages. That takes strength. Healing from these experiences can be a long journey, but recognizing the impact they’ve had is a big step forward. You deserve to feel valued for more than just your achievements, and to have relationships where you can trust and rely on others. If you’re ever interested in talking more about this or exploring ways to overcome these challenges, please don’t hesitate to use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes. Also, if you’re comfortable, please don’t hesitate to share what you found most useful from the video.

[@heatherboo1975]

I feel this deeply. It's me.. I will heal this definitely, challenge accepted!

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. You can find videos on codependency at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency Also, you can find worksheets on codependency at: DocSnipes.com

[@angieruthw]

Almost 40 and just realizing I may be codependent. Grew up in a broken, highly physically and emotionally abusive home with a mentally ill parent. I'm dealing with bad depression as a wife and mother even tho I'd say my life is considered pretty idyllic. But I'm realizing my pattern of doing everything I possibly can to gain love and approval through works and self sacrifice and never feeling enough. I have no clue what I like for myself. I just morph into what others like. I'm simply exhausted. Was put on SSRI a few years ago and honestly can't say it's helped all that much. Will therapy really help me?

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Research suggests therapy might be helpful for you

[@dzv2cf]

Wow this is my mother to a tee (including the chaotic, anger filled childhood). And I see some of these traits in me as I try to deal with her, control her reactions, etc. This was very helpful!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching and for sharing!

[@svetagluhova7309]

Thank you for a great work. This video is awesome, the explanation is perfect. A lot of stuff to think about in more proactive ways

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thank you so much for watching the video

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

I often make my boundaries into walls...

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

My fear of rejection is so strong it ain't funny!!

[@innerpeaceforall]

Hi Dr. Isn’t it very similar to borderline personality disorder?

[@DocSnipes]

Many symptoms overlap. I appreciate you watching.

[@mentalhealthinformationfor4475]

Thank you❤❤❤

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@alpanavarshney5199]

Very nice and lucid talk

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for your kind words and for watching the video

[@iridescent.fluorescence]

Ooooooof. 😓 Thank you for your work. 🙏

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@lisalovely7259]

On a scale from 1 to 100 I believe in 50% of what you're saying because everyone with this condition did not grow up in a bad or chaotic household I personally know people with this condition that had wonderful parents they listen to their children they show with them with love they took them on trips everything a child could want there was no neglect but yet and still they have this disorder you mention more about their growing up then you do the actual condition you need to make it very clear that not everyone with this condition grew up in a bad household

[@DocSnipes]

Codependency itself isn't actually a DSM 5-TR diagnosis, but in general, people have to have been in a chaotic household in their past to develop the behaviors. It could be chaos in childhood or prior intimate relationships, but often it is both.

[@hankhill3417]

10:34 people pleasing, covert contract

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching!

[@abcrrudtcth4490]

thank you.. ❤️

[@katieduffy3634]

This sounds very similar to BPD/EUPD @Doc Snipes how do you differentiate between the two? I have BPD but this sounds like my symptoms

[@Brobro37372]

Me too I just realized this

[@t.t.55]

That's just perfect!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@jacknjill3000]

Today i was think of some past friends that had dod me wrong and still longing for those friendship or took decades to realize they did me wrong . Meaning it took me like 30 years to know one of my friends stole my wallet with over $500. to move to find a new apt or roommate situation. So I kept thinking how come I pick all the wrong ppl. to be friends with? Btw. this was more when I was in my 20s and 30s when the need to connect with others. Now I realized i attracted many of these wrong ppl. for friendship bc of my codependency and my needs. So all this time, I thought i was just trusting the wrong ppl. but what I realized today is that I’m allowing these situations hoping that the next person will not turn out bad. Meaning I’m vulnerable to narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths. I also never understood what codependency is and still not clear about it and why I’m gonna watch more KZbin videos

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It's tough to realize that past friends may not have had your best interests at heart, especially when it takes so long to uncover the truth. It's insightful of you to recognize how codependency might have played a role in attracting these individuals. Understanding codependency and its impact on relationships is a big step toward healthier connections in the future. Watching more videos and learning about it can definitely help. I have many videos on Codependency in the video library, please feel free to use my AI to search for them in the video library: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes. Also, please feel free to share what you found most useful from the video. Additionally, don’t forget that it's never too late to grow and make positive changes.

[@sunbeam9222]

This is so interesting. I remember attenpting codependency as a child. Thinking ok, my mum lashes out and hits me so bad and it makes me feel unsafe and miserable. Let me be extra good, be the perfect child and all this will stop. It never worked, her emotions and instability were guiding her not my behaviour, that's when I decided it wasn't efficient and the only way for me to feel safe was numb out stay away as much as possible and probably developped there and then an avoidant attachment style. I can't relate wirh anything on the list except the last one. I yearn for love but at the first sign of anger from a partner I see flashbacks of abuse and feel the urge to check out. Need to work on that big time. It sure is not healthy, my partner is entitled to express anger, in healthy proportion ofc but it seems that since I repress mine, considering it such a bad out of control trait, I don't really allow for a partner to display any themselves either, and even when I do, I look down on it, that's not fair and irrealistic. Thank you very much for the video, so insightful.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching the video.

[@KM-nd6wj]

They hurt other people that aren’t their love focus. I have a sister like this.Very hurtful, manipulative.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it? Please remember you can watch the video on identifying and responding to toxic people and behaviors to help you in the relationship with your sister.

[@bradtenpas9143]

Can a person be co-dependant because of past traumas and experiences without the current partner being a dysfunctional person and the co-dependant just act that way out of patterns of the past?

[@MrNecryptic]

Unlikely, you may want to do some serious introspection.

[@Marlyn_Says]

I have been following along with some of your videos for a while now. Thank you for your work! With this video in particular what were the tips to address these symptoms? I feel like I missed it or it wen over my head.

[@DocSnipes]

Hello! You can find videos on codependency here: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency You can also find worksheets to help you address codependency at: docsnipes.com/tag/codependency/

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

A lot of times I don't feel comfortable iny own skin..

[@jackiewilliams810]

How many of these do you have to relate with to be codependent?

[@nikiyoussef55]

i can relate some of the signs but not all of them

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching and for sharing

[@nikiyoussef55]

it is like you know my Childhood yes there was violence i grew with supper violent parents who also had addiction and i was parentifyed child i want to heal and find psychologist

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry you had such a rough childhood. Here is the video on healing the inner child: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3ytgaemlrODaKMsi=lvPM26U4suTJT0X5

[@brendaaragon771]

When I divorced my ex husband he said I would not stay alone too long cause I was to code dependent never heard of that word ? Five years now single and divorced, I still don’t see how he thought I was code dependent. Maybe because he was a narcissist.

[@DocSnipes]

It sounds like you've been through a lot, and I'm glad you're taking time to reflect on your experiences. Codependency is often misunderstood, and it's typically about being overly focused on others' needs or approval at the expense of your own. However, it’s important to remember that labels like these aren’t always helpful or accurate, especially when they’re coming from someone else. Your journey over the past five years shows a lot of strength and growth, and it sounds like you've been finding your own path. What matters most is how you feel about the progress you’ve made and your ability to prioritize your own well-being. If you’re interested in learning more on the topic or to search for videos in the video library, please don’t hesitate to use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes. Also, I’d appreciate it if you were to share what you’ve found most useful from the video.

[@Clownking12345]

I hate how much almost every point hits close to reality for me

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing that. It can be really tough when a video resonates so deeply, especially on a topic like codependency. Recognizing these patterns in yourself can feel uncomfortable or even painful, but it’s also a powerful first step toward understanding and growth. Awareness is key, and it shows that you’re already on the path to creating healthier relationships with both yourself and others. Be gentle with yourself as you process these realizations. Change takes time, and self-compassion will help you through the journey. If it feels overwhelming, remember that it’s okay to seek support-whether through a trusted friend, therapist, or community. You’re not alone in this. Also, I’d love to hear what you found most helpful from the video-your feedback is invaluable. If you’re interested in more tips on this topic or want to explore my full video library, feel free to use my Ai: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes. Sending you strength as you move forward!

[@Mary-zo4rx]

I need help to get out of this I don't even know who I am

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry you are struggling with codependency. You can find videos on it at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency We also have self help courses and worksheets on Codependency at: docsnipes.com

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

My anger gets quite intense at times ..

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

I'm a conclusion jumper too...

[@kaylakunz8112]

I'm assuming it means I'm codependent if I'm more confused on what to work on and not sure if I do these things after watching this video 😭

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

I engage in a lot of black and white thinking...

[@voiletwhitehorse]

Ive suffered having a relationship with my sister,because shes in a co dependent relationship,all things we used to do ,she now does with her partner, but wont do anything with me ,otherwise he gets upset 😢this has gone on for 4 years ,i feel shes loosing herself ,everytime ive breached this,she blows up in my face,telling me im poking my nose in her bussiness,i just wanted a relatiinship with my sister ,im at the point of just giving up on her ,as ive made friends of my own now

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about the relationship with your sister and I appreciate you watching the video

[@teresahyk-knutson6498]

It seems like you are combining codependency and enabler. Are they the same? What happens when a codependent gets together with a narcissistic partner? I can see that coming from an abusive/neglectful home, I am absolutely codependent. My husband is a narcissist. We’ve been together for over 30 years. It felt wrong for so long but I didn’t know what was wrong. I realize we are both such a mess, we can’t stay together.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@ladymuck2]

Is this different from bad?

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching. What is your favorite tip from the video, a tip you find extremely helpful in addressing codependency?

[@ladymuck2]

That was meant to be bpd, I have watched some of your other videos and there seems to be so much cross over. I went through counselling on codependency from the women’s refuge in the uk. My best tip to anyone is to expect a standard of treatment that you would wish for your own child or best friend. Don’t accept less or put yourself in a less important position than that. The Drama triangle is a hugely important illustration and the best thing is to step out of the game , get off the roundabout because it’s impossible to rescue anyone else anyway. Concentrate on rescuing yourself.

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

I'm so hard on myself it ain't funny!!

[@VickiSecret313]

How can i get therapy this is me all the way

[@lahicks9773]

Me too. 😭

[@russellheyns1846]

The more I hear about codependency it sounds to me a lot like covert narcissism.

[@DocSnipes]

It’s understandable why codependency and covert narcissism might sound similar at first glance-they both can involve unhealthy relationship dynamics and struggles with self-identity. However, they stem from very different emotional places. Codependency typically comes from a deep fear of abandonment and a desire to be needed. People who struggle with codependency often prioritize others' needs over their own, sometimes to the point of losing their sense of self. They tend to seek validation through taking care of others and might feel unworthy unless they’re helping or fixing someone. Covert narcissism, on the other hand, involves a hidden sense of grandiosity or entitlement, even if it’s not outwardly expressed. While someone with covert narcissism may also struggle with self-esteem, they often feel a sense of superiority or resentment when their needs aren’t met, and their focus tends to be on how others should provide for them, rather than how they can provide for others. While both can involve issues around boundaries and self-worth, the motivations and behaviors are quite different. Does that distinction resonate with you, or is there a particular aspect of codependency that feels more aligned with covert narcissism in your experience?

[@greenhornedrhino3046]

4:26

[@lorraineamico42]

I think you are one of the top two on my list your fantastic I just hired a therapist face time for the first time I gave her the five people I follow just gave yours now it’s time as a great makeupartist I value myself and need that highest level in my business I took care of my inner child ten years so a little and alote of everything studying my side and family dysfunction all our dysfunctional behaviors are different found that out the hard way but your amazing even though I’m in therpy now I will continue my search never took drugs or drink mine was shopping and unavailable husbands of twenty years each they were all different just finished my life story but will be writing more I’m going to be 68 January and now I profess my healing with masters like you thank you oh so much ❤@lorraineamicothemakeupartist

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching, Lorraine. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency