20 Things to start saying NO to today | SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE

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No is a very simple word, but it can be one of the most difficult ones to say. Learning to say no has been essential for me to create a more balanced, simple and peaceful life. Today, let's talk about 20 things to start saying NO to today, so you can find ways to simplify your life as well. :)
Lots of love,
🌼 Vera
FIRST TIME HERE? Welcome. This is a place where you can get weekly tips and inspiration for living a simpler, happier and calmer life. With this channel, I want to give everyone the opportunity to take a little break, to get inspired and to take care. We deserve to. Thank you for joining our community and subscribing, feel free to say hi if you’d like!
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[@SimpleHappyZen]

I filmed today's video with a new microphone! 🎙 What do you think? 🤗👇

[@pamelacooley6457]

Sounds good.❤

[@sallgal]

Sounds crystal clear! 😊

[@TheLazyDumpling]

Sounds great 👍🏻

[@kamloopscruiser874]

Great sound!👍❤️

[@noelani555]

Excellent sound quality and another excellent quality video, Vera. Thank you. I am still on my declutter journey, and your videos help me so much. Your video helped me to realise the reason I felt so "over done" this week was because I didn't take time to breathe in the "space in-between " I needed this valuable reminder. Thank you.

[@ksk881]

I’m retired. I worked over 50 years in order to not have to answer for how I live my life. I enjoy my boring and mediocre life so much !😊 I also enjoy your channel so much!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Happy to hear you're enjoying your retirement in a way that works for you! 🤗🌺🍵

[@renee7567]

Every single point resonated with me! Wow! You covered it all! I'm going to have to rewatch the video, and type out a list of all the items to put into practice. Good job Vera!

[@marciaodonnell3962]

That’s my plan for my retirement which starts at 4:31 pm on July 31. I’m good about saying no and will continue with joy. 😊

[@debbie303]

Amen! Me too. Happily retired for 3 years at the beach. No more winters for me! IL to SC.🏝😊

[@terrilynn8770]

Yes I retired and love to answering to anyone. I love boring.

[@mish7773]

"Time you enjoy wasting is not a wasted time." This is very comforting to know 😊

[@marijaz349]

Oh finally someone is saying no to "self-improvement!" I feel like nowadays this mantra has grown so fake in a way that one ALWAYS has to work on themselves to be better, as if we the way we are was never enough. This is being served to us as a part of a corporate bullshit that is so toxic. Thank you for including that point, it's very important.

[@reneeraw6927]

My therapist taught me something wise; Children Explain, Adults Inform As adults we simply don’t need to explain our decisions to people. We just need to inform people. I used to feel the need to justify everything to others. Now I have stopped doing that and I feel so much better.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Oh that's a helpful reminder! :)

[@bex438]

I really like this & will try to remember it going forward 😊

[@jacquelinemcgowan8164]

Thats brilliant advice

[@vonvildenschwert3045]

I know that I don’t have to explain anything but I still feel often guilty and have a feeling that I have to explain my decision. It’s a very hard fight and I still don’t win at all.

[@marisacooper5364]

You saved the best for last... I’m all about the moments in between the events to recharge take a breath, have a moment of gratitude -it’s a way that I ground into the present moment. Not having to explain myself, that comes with age; and thinking more before speaking. Wishlists 🙌🏻, and life isn’t all about my to do list?? I need to ponder that!

[@elizabethsydnor5247]

Oh Vera, that is such a relief to hear someone say that we don't have to keep on perfecting ourselves every day. Getting better and better every day is so exhausting. Thank you for giving us permission to be good enough the way that we are, that's what God tells us also. We are good enough. He created us. We are excellent, just like we are. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[@elizabethsydnor5247]

Thats GENIUS! Saying NO THANK YOU, while walking away, while smiling, is SO GOOD!!!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Hahaha works every time :)

[@margarethubbard1173]

The last tip, saying no to having to make every minute count, also struck me. The small moments of peace when nothing is really happening or I am not running around really are so important. We do not always have to be in motion or productive.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

I agree! :) Thanks for sharing Margaret, have a wonderful day

[@yogaetctina]

I love your videos Vera, they are so inspiring to watch, but most of all I recognise myself in so many ways that you mention. I am loving the simple life and feeling truly content. Thank you so much for sharing ❤

[@JellybeanHouseNewfoundland]

Yes! Most of my most meaningful moments in life have been those moments when I wasn't doing anything "productive"--those moments when I stopped to feel the texture of a leaf, to watch a beetle walk across the water, to watch the birds eating mulberries in the garden, to read a story to one of my children, to really taste my food, to sit quietly with my husband for a few minutes and listen to his breathing. Those are the times that I've felt like I'd stepped outside of linear time, like I was living in eternity. People used to live like that all the time. The concept that time can get away from us and that we have to constantly rush to keep up with it is an invention of the industrial revolution and its equating of time with money. Time is life, and ironically, we are least alive when we are rushing about trying to get too many things done. Life really is in the spaces between the notes.

[@margarethubbard1173]

@@JellybeanHouseNewfoundland So beautifully said!!

[@jilloverton3630]

I loved #20. My parents are always busy; and, I feel I was taught at a young age that every moment of every day should be used in a productive manner. Restful time is something that I still struggle enjoying.

[@MyFocusVaries]

Benita Larsen suggests putting fun things on your To Do list as a way to ease yourself away from constant productivity

[@tejanagenie]

Hi, Jill! I once wrote a short story I entitled, "Don't make me have fun--it's too stressful!" :D Our struggles are related. Best to you!😃

[@Althea1111]

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished - Lao Tsu Yeah, we don’t always have to be striving every second of the day. Just being feels so good 🙏

[@galaxy98765]

I have started saying "NO" to feeling like I have to answer other women's questions about my personal life. By that I mean, there are a lot of middle-aged or older women who ask me if I have children or grandchilddren, and when I say that I don't, I have noticed that I get judged severely, like they are thinking that there must be something wrong with me, and then they shun me. I can just be in a store looking at racks of clothes, and some woman I've never seen before will start talking about her kids or grandkids, then ask me if I have grandchildren. I can see the change come over them when I say that I don't. Or if a waitress in a Mexican restaurant I like to go to notices that I'm always in there by myself, will ask me if I have a family, and I say "no" (because they have all passed away), they immediately think there must be something wrong with me, and they never again are friendly or want to chat. I get ignored from then on. I guess, to these people, family and kids is everything. I have been in relationships with men, I just never married any of them, that's all. I'm kind of independent, and never regretted not getting married. I'm retired now, but have always had a rich life. It's been fun, and still kind of is, even with the aches and pains. I just got back from England where I was for three weeks and had so much fun (eleven-hour flight over there). Plus I saw my cousins for two weeks. I have so many wonderfull memories from my trip. One time I even lied to a woman who asked me if I have kids and grandchildren, and told her that I do. That works, too, if it's someone you have never seen before, and never will again, but I don't want to feel like I'm not being true to myself. Sometimes I pretend I just didn't hear them. In any case, I don't like being asked if I have grandchildren, because I know what their reaction will be. 😢😢😢

[@lindabourcet1349]

I wonder why they want to know? I think it is because they want to talk about their children/grandchildren and so instead of answering the question, I just turn it back on them. ‘Do you have children?’ And let them talk. I was unable to have children and hated being asked those questions. I also hated people asking why we couldn’t have children and whose ‘fault’ it was or giving me ‘unwanted advice’ on how to conceive. I practiced what I wanted to say in front of a mirror so I was comfortable on what I was willing to share. With strangers or a nosy waitress I would just ignore the question and continue on with what I wanted to talk about (Do you have children? I’ll just have the soup and salad thanks). I learned some people have no filters on what they say and some people want to slot you into some category so they know how to treat you. If these intrusive questions come up regularly (older relatives are the worse offenders) practice some stock phrases from funny to rude or just stop talking and stare at them until they feel uncomfortable. Keep enjoying your child-free life and sharing your adventures with people who respect your decisions.

[@mharrod258]

Wow, I am shocked at their replies and reactions! I have no children and am single and have a very rich and happy life. I've worked with teenagers, and adored them, and our relationship was precious BECAUSE I don't have my own kids. I could relate to them in a different way I believe - 'aunties' play a very important role in the animal kingdom - humans need to remember that!!! My friends are my family and I have absolutely zero desire to hang out with the people that (allegedly) share DNA with me, and I also feel no need to explain that to strangers. Please remember that their limited view of what makes a person valuable - is THEIR loss, not yours!!!! And funnily, I do remember the first time I was asked if I had grandkids I was SO offended - because until that very moment, I had completely failed to even register that I was old enough for that to even be possible!! Hahahaha!!!

[@mharrod258]

@@lindabourcet1349 I am absolutely gob smacked reading this, at some people's ability to be so rude!!! I am so sorry you have had to engage with these sorts.

[@galaxy98765]

​@@lindabourcet1349Hi Linda, I have been wanting to reply to your reply ever since you wrote it and thank you for your compassion, your wisdom, your great advice, and for sharing your story. I am so sorry for the heartache you have been through. And the atrocious (spelling?) and nervy things people have said to you! What is wrong with some people ?!? It sounds like you are good at handling those people, but I know it still stings when they ask personal questions and give you advice that you don't want or need. I am following your advice. Maybe, instead of giving any info at all about ourselves out to people, maybe we should just say, "That's a personal matter". Nosy people don't like to hear that. I loved it when you said to say, "I'll just have the soup and salad". That's a good one! 😂 Keep enjoying your life, too! You deserve to have a good one! I think we are on the right track, eh? (I would have written sooner, but have not been feeling well, and now I have covid after 3 and a half years of never having gotten it!) I hope you are well and happy, and thank you again for your compassion. You deserve the best. ❤ Gwen Washington state.

[@Virginia-vn7ud]

When I was young I had similar experiences so I just decided to start making friends with women like me that never married and never had kids😊 worked fine and now retired with a good list of friends without kids or grandkids😊

[@usubenidango]

I feel like I needed this, especially the toxic productivity one. I felt like I always had to work non-stop in order to matter, and when I was not working, I was being lazy. Then, I noticed it all had roots in low self steem, now that I work a healthy amount every day, I've been feeling much happier.

[@caron4725]

I really like when you said I could instead of I should... It's a good way to avoid beating yourself up

[@jessicaj2391]

It's always very difficult for HSPs to refuse. We are afraid to offend others. We prefer to offend ourselves. And, unfortunately, we are often trained to allow others to offend us.

[@sver8495]

Yes, we are raised to believe that we are not important, classmates are important, coworkers are important, country is important, elephants in Africa are important, but not us. We are taught that thinking of our own needs is selfish and evil. So it's always guilt. Especially when people (mostly relatives and friends) often make us feel they are unhappy bc it's us who didn't do enough to make them happy and satisfied.

[@belindaknowles7440]

I feel much better now about spending so much time outside on my porch swing.😊

[@SimpleHappyZen]

If you have a porch with a swing, it would be a shame not to spend lots of time there!! 😁🥰

[@costumej121]

Thank you for not making me feel like I am missing out! I work in hospitality and it's often go go go with no break to even eat. So when not in work I just sit( I don't have a TV) and think..and look at trees and birds outside my window. Life is about balance.

[@Autisticheather]

The last one i really needed to hear. I've recently discovered that I'm Autistic and I've also started a job that is extremely challenging challenging in every way. So when im not working i lay in bed and play solitaire and listen to useful and also fun you tube channels or an audio book. It makes me feel so cozy and relaxed and recharged. But i really struggle with the guilt that im not doing all the productive things. This made me feel so much better. Trust my body and my needs of rest

[@MiriamWyatt-me6je]

Keep it up dearie! Take good care of you! 🥰💛

[@creativelady7]

I love and appreciate the beautiful calming, peaceful scenery you place within each comment.

[@rachaelharper3778]

Life is not about cramming things to make it productive. Sometimes we need time to rest and recharge ❤❤❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

I agree! :)

[@bonniehafeman9757]

I agree 👍. Thanks. Amen.

[@thephilguy1]

Absolutely say no to helping people where it will take so much of my energy for so little reward. It's not personal, it's just more efficient use of my time and energy. I can be a better friend in the long term if I'm not exhausting myself in the short term.

[@user-bv6rl8mw6m]

This video is my go to. This is such a honest video that shows how we can actually simplify things. This video actually made me introspect and i realised i was being too much of a yes person and most things you mentioned are so so true in my life. Thank you so much for this video

[@chrisoulalakkas7935]

Imagine finding friendship and love in the same person. Dating someone who befriends you, understands you, appreciates you, supports you, makes you feel safe, grows with you, heals with you, and breaks toxic patterns with you.

[@Karincl7]

Now put all that love in the person in the mirror

[@loumoon7660]

I feel like this is one of the best videos I’ve seen

[@monicalowy9689]

You are such a wise person. I feel so much better after watching your videos.

[@katyalauziere6858]

I love your "non-productive" approach. I am also kind of done with the constant need for productivity and personal growth books and classes and everything. I too want to enjoy my simple boring life and be happy about it. I don't want to feel bad anymore because my son doesn't play hockey 4 times a week and doesn't have painting classes and 16 other obligations in a week. We want to be free of burden and spend the little time we have in this life with each other in a loving and stressless environment. 🤗

[@StephanieMandala-rr1ke]

I was actually surprised to hear you say that sometimes some folks leave negative comments to you. Your channel has been an absolute blessing to Me 🙏 There's nothing you've ever said in any of your channel's videos that is negative. Anyhow, Keep up thee amazing work you've been doing with your channel. You're helping so many people. Of course, If it ever gets to be too much, taking a break from it is Okay. See, YOU taught ME that. You're truly a God send in My life. 🙏 Thank you for what your doing for some of us out here with your channel.

[@Angelareadsalot]

Turning off notifications on my phone has changed my life! And thanks to you, I now have the words to describe why…to engage in “deep work” and “deep rest.” People sometimes don’t understand or like that I may not get their message until the next day or reply right away. But as an HSP, it has done wonders for my anxiety, productivity, and general peace of mind.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

So happy it's working out for you too!!! :D Being more intentional about our notifications is something I feel everyone needs to do :)

[@msp4852]

The tip for being content and not needing constant self improvement is wonderful. I once made my New Years Resolution to “maintain” my current life and self, purposefully stopping myself from adding in yet another goal for some sort of growth. It was freeing!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Awesome! :)

[@elizabethsydnor5247]

Vera, thank you for mentioning that. It's so important not to run yourself and your health in the ground. Trying to help everyone. That needs you when it will take away from your life and then you won't be able to work and you won't be able to provide for your family because you're giving to too many people. Thank you for mentioning that.

[@andeeanko7079]

Vera, you are incredibly wise - I'm nearly twice your age and only coming to terms with some of these tips recently. I agree with all of them ❤

[@amandaspain6438]

Everything you say I know, agree with and believe - but hearing you say these things is so validating, reassuring and comforting! Thank you for your work 🙏

[@katrina5489]

This has become my favorite channel by far. Thanks for the tips! 😊

[@anitatoteva9074]

The sound is great. And I want to mention this hairstyle suits you best.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thanks so much and glad you like the sound!!!

[@susanspisak65]

Wonderful tips !!! I especially love the “I could ….not the… I would “ I have struggled so much with a diagnosis of panic disorder since I was 27 years old …. Now 57, I still have to work on this and it makes such a difference in my daily life! Saying I could do something instead of I needed to do something !!! Beautiful video…as always!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you Susan!! :) Have a great day

[@M_SC]

Surely it was worse before you had a diagnosis though, having a diagnosis (of something else) is very helpful to me, It’s something you can say to others, something that deserves care.

[@lisettecampbell2138]

What wonderful wisdom! Thank youuu! Replacing "should" with "could" already feels like a game changer and I loved the suggestion of not having to defend yourself with unrealistic expectations.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thanks Lisette! 😊 Glad you found some helpful tips in here

[@kirstinstansbury2017]

I agree about replacing should wit could and will try to implement this myself.

[@dk0412]

I'd actually implemented something based on that a while ago. I would feel paralyzed by long to-do lists full of stuff that wasn't super high priority, but I "should" get done that day. So I called it a "list of things I can do today", which helped me feel better about just picking a couple and doing those, and not feeling as bad about not accomplishing the entire list.

[@debbiedean3165]

❤️Time you enjoy wasting, isn't wasted time. ❤️Music is the time in between the notes. I've never heard this quote but instantly I thought, there it is, life is there, I think frequently that is where I have special moments with God. Also not waiting on people who just keep you waiting. So much good advice, thank you 😊

[@vesnamatana3]

Bravo, Vera! I agree whith lot of written things. WHy do we have to do more, to have more to ....more? No, we don't. I don't want. I love my lazy afternoons doing - nothing. Greatings from Dubrovnik, Croatia

[@MySkycastles]

If it were up to me, this quote would go down in history: "Without space, our lives would be full and yet still feel empty"

[@sallgal]

I can relate to all of these! The one that stuck out the most to me was the whole sleep thing. I love getting enough peaceful sleep and I can’t stand being in environments where it’s loud or not conductive to sleep.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Sleep is the best isn't it 😅🥰 I can't believe I didn't want to sleep when I was a kid. We also got blackout curtains recently and I never want to go back hahahaha

[@sallgal]

@@SimpleHappyZen it really is! 🙏😴 it’s the most restorative thing ever. I work overnights and sleep during the day so I totally understand and appreciate the blackout curtains 😊

[@patriciafisher3108]

From this time forward I plan to crate my to do list, titled " I COULD '' Thank you for this tip. This makes me feel less pressured to do items on the list ASAP. In the end, these are options not demands.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Awesome!! 😊❤

[@kierlak]

#13 oh yes ! So important ! As INFJ/HSP pretty much most people in my life are like that. Luckily I can spot one-sided relationships very quickly. It's important to practice your boundaries and stick to them. #17 super important ! (Authenticity and values and staying true to them) #18: my phone is ALWAYS on silent (no vibration, no notification) so you're lucky if I answer your call. Most of the time I return missed calls instead. Great video. About what you can start saying NO to. In fact when you look at it, one thing that we all should stop saying NO to is: ourselves ❤

[@DomChic]

Microphone was great! You're awesome!

[@mercedesdulawan4662]

I am "good" as I am. I no longer need self-improvement techniques. I don't have to make every moment count. Thank you.

[@jacquelinemcgowan8164]

Today we always want answers and to know everything so we force others to comply and so being individual and refusing to follow makes us the odd ball. Often our privacy is compromised and I for one feel I am tired of explaining myself, being bullied and a people pleaser has damaged me so much. The bible says live a quiet life, mind your own business and do your work well. I think that will save me a lot of hassle and grief. Thankyou Vera lv your channel

[@chrstopherblighton-sande2981]

I shall have to rewatch this video several times and take it all in, because there were so many wonderful points I want to give extra thought to. I struggle to say no to people and will instinctively say yes, but of course every yes is also a no; a no to another activity I could have been doing, no to rest, no to peace of mind and so forth. Your tip of giving yourself some space by saying you need to think about your response first, has been incredibly helpful for me. I'm with you on the self-improvement and needing to make every minute count thing! I think that too much focus on these can actually create a sense of dissatisfaction in life, because it implicitly contains the notion that one's self or one's life are not actually OK as they are now. As you say this doesn't contradict the value of personal growth, but that can be achieved organically and not in a forced way.

[@TheBestSelfGuide6-StepSy-xo6vh]

Vera, with your guidance (I am taking your 20-week course now) I am now collecting those "No"s and feel excited each time. You are fabulous!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Awesome!!! 🤗🥰👏

[@susanbhatt3128]

The one that really resonated with me was about people who only contact me when they want something from me. I have several people like that, and it bothers me no end, but I am afraid always, that I may end up with very few “friends”. I am very far from my family and am afraid of being alone. But I am learning, finally, that this is just silly, and will get me nowhere. Real friends do not behave that way, and, if I only have ONE friend left, that is enough. I plan to watch more of your very valuable videos,thank you.

[@joank5585]

I love that quote, “music is the time in between the notes”, we do need to pause and breathe, I like my mediocre life it gives me space to reflect on my life and it is sort of a reset, I’m always more productive when I slow down. These are such great suggestions to say no and actually enrich our life, not so easy to do but I’ve been doing it for a while now and it really works, thnx for these suggestions Vera 🤔🌿🌱🍃

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts Joan, like what you said about saying no more in order to enrich your life :)

[@sunnyday4589]

I really wish when I tell people ‘no’ that they wouldn’t say…why not? Why is my ‘no’ not good enough???? I really do t want to say ‘because I said so’ but I don’t feel like I owe them an explanation either. Loved this video 💕

[@ms.schnapp7415]

Love these! Really appreciated hearing #9. I'm so much more comfortable not needing to be liked by everyone. Many people have come and gone, and I realize I valued being part of a group. Now I only invest in strong connections.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Well said!! ❤❤❤

[@softsophisticate]

Making friends is hard as even if you get on well with someone, they are often so busy with their lives that they don't have time to invest in new relationships, and maybe just going out for a coffee with a new friend for a chat is what they need. A chance to get off the hamster wheel for a while..

[@julietaalonso9475]

Learning how to get breaks, and to enjoy doing nothing! Nice video!!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you! :)

[@martbright]

I can't remember how I came upon your channel but I really enjoy your videos and they are helping me a lot. The past few months I have been so depleted by a cat rescue I did (the stray cat was shot by one of my neighbors and needed his leg amputated) and toxic people and my husband being away for work that I am at the end of my rope. Your advice is giving me the perspective I need to keep going. Thank you so much...

[@tiianieminen2381]

that's so true. you can say no without explaining or proving something all the time. no is a complete sentence. also not participating in bullying comments. just let them be there and do nothing.

[@victoriamorris8678]

nb 20 absolutely!! also saying no to society's expectations like going on holidays.... I looove my staycations😁😊🌸

[@CrZY8650]

💖💖💖 this video made me cry, I needed to hear all of this

[@SimpleHappyZen]

🌷

[@mikemetague7973]

As an older Highly Sensitive Person, I believe all twenty of these resonate strongly! Most seem to take most of a lifetime to learn, but to value ourselves, we need to learn them. I like the Bertrand Russell quote, "Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." An old folkie wrote (Lui Collins/"Rooty Toot Toot for the Moon"), "You know you can't memorize zen ♫"

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Ah that one's cool too! :) Thanks for sharing :)

[@Alexandra9001]

Just discovered your channel and I can relate OH SO MUCH! As HSP I'm constantly tired and I tend to forget about these tips you're talking about... thank you for reminding me! Can you please make a video on how to go through the Christmas season as HSP? Sending blessings your way 🎉❤😊!

[@clairedebbs9972]

Saying no to constant self-improvement. Game changer. Yes, enjoying where I am now, how and who I am now. That's it. What a relief and reason für contentedness. 😊

[@arthurlincoln9093]

There is a line in the movie Bridget Jone's Diary where Mark Darcy, the shy and reluctant admirer of Miss Jones, finally gets to tell her that he likes her "just as you are". And when she tells her friends they cannot believe it and say stuff like "not thinner, not smarter, not more attractive?" I like Vera's style. No wonder the Dutch are such a contented race compared to say the US or the UK, at least from what I've seen. I agree with Vera on all of these points. She makes her life sound civilized, meaningful and calm which is what we all crave if we are really honest in a world gone mad full of stress, pressure, misinformation and deception. Dont hang around for others who don't care. Find the person you like just as they are and why not listen to the song "Time for Living" by The Association. Believe it or not some people were thinking like Vera back in the sixties and the lyrics say it all.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw that is so sweet, liking her 'just as you are' 🌺

[@T.T.M.60]

My favorite is thinking of I could instead of I should. I love that!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Happy to hear it!!! :)

[@sharonshmuel3386]

Hi Vera this was such a great list of tips. Loved that NO is a complete sentence. I can relate to everything you mentioned! I wish I had been more assertive in my younger years- I’m now 64. Good for you learning to say NO. You look so pretty & your new 🎤 is very good. Lol ❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw thank you for your kind words Sharon :) And also, better later than never I think!! :)

[@Alana-b]

So much merit in everything you have said. Quite a few points if not all resonated with me. Toxic productivity, constant self improvement, eating food that doesn’t make me feel good, compromising my values and more. Excellent video as always! Thank you❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Glad to hear you found so many points here that resonated with you! Have a lovely weekend :)

[@ljshaw8516]

👍Thumbs up to your new microphone. Absolutely love all your points for "healthy mental well-being" living. We are all a lot stronger than we think we are and need to give ourselves more pats on the back instead of constantly comparing themselves to others. People that do this are always going to be miserable with themselves. Sad. Empty promises are the worst from a friend over and over again.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

I love the thought of giving ourselves more pats on the back 😊 Thanks, I want to remind myself to do that more

[@annemay3897]

I laughed out loud at "no can be a complete sentence", so much recognition in all of these things. This was very helpful!

[@jennifercochrane8905]

Great video and it truly resonated with me, especially the point of "saying yes at too great an expense to myself". 🥰

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you Jennifer, glad that one resonated with you! I find it very helpful to think about which side is 'bigger' before I reply yes or no 😊

[@MsDoglover02]

My big one was not everyone has to like me. I was just promoted on Friday and am going through a similar circumstance that you did. Thanks for the reminder!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

You're very welcome! And congratulations on your promotion! :)

[@MsDoglover02]

@@SimpleHappyZen Thanks!

[@PoArquero]

Being specific in this moment would turn into an uncomfortable rant for other viewers.. but I will say, I'm so glad you made these videos. I'll send better feedback later

[@elzalammers8551]

Veel dingen doe ik al en daarvoor was deze video een leuke reminder. Ik ben wel geneigd om mijn leven zo vol mogelijk te gooien omdat ik wil kunnen volhouden wat anderen ook kunnen (ik ben erg hsp). Ik vind het weer een goede reminder om in te zien dat dat helemaal niet nodig is en dat dat niet is wat mij gelukkig gaat maken dus dankje!!😊

[@bonniehafeman9757]

Wise lady. You are appreciated. Thanks.

[@flowergirl7260]

"If you have learned to spend a completely useless afternoon, in a completely useless way, you have learned how to live." (Lin Yutang)

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Never heard of this quote before, but I love it! 🤗🥰 It reminds me of a cat 😄

[@jennierollins8789]

This video is packed with very useful information for your well being. They all resonate with me. The one that really struck a cord is when people only contact you when they want something. I removed those types of people from my life. You will find that you have so much time for yourself. ☮️🌍🌲

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you Jennie, glad you enjoyed the video! 😊❤

[@johannathorisdottir2456]

You are so awesome and this is so my life now! I´m a minimalist and i live a very boring life a small life and very quiet life . And i love it cus it´s my life and a peaceful life! I´m so happy and my home feels awesome

[@pmw3839]

So young, yet so wise. I am guilty of all those things, and completely agree with you.

[@smontone]

4 and 20 really speak to me. Hustle culture and filling every moment are awful for my mental health. I want to live more slowly. The new mic was great. Very clear!

[@unplannedjourneys4066]

Great points especially the obsession to be productive and constant self-improvement. It takes wisdom to come to the realisations that you have pointed out in this video.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you! Happy to hear you enjoyed the video :)

[@chirovandenbos2339]

I change my life radical in a good way for myself because everything is relativ.... Happyness starts inside you and not with extern factors like status, money, material things that means nothing and its an illusion create out of emptyness.... I choose to live my life alone and have more strength, power, happyness, time, peace.... The more people around you, the more expectations, talk about others, jealousy, frustrations, opinions, double agenda, hate, negativity etc.... People are programmed robot slaves of the system only busy with own benefits.....empty inside. No, i am not better then others.....i am awake and be carefull. Be the light in this dark broken world

[@jirik2435]

The self improvement one is a bit tricky when you consider that watching this video falls into that category.

[@Robert-qm1ld]

Yes, exactly. However, I like the Vera we see so it’s all good.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Haha we're getting meta now 😅 But yes, I think it mostly just depends on our intentions and how we approach it 😊

[@brittanybennett2203]

I love this video me and my husband just came back from vacation. I deleted my Facebook page and picked up a book. Now I am on my second book. It's so relaxing. I deleted my Facebook because people are so fake I'm learning as I have gotten older who your true friend's are.

[@denisemcdougal6445]

Twenty thank you’s .

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Twenty you're welcomes!! 😁💕

[@cathycarey9388]

The tip for not having to make every moment (or second) count. Allowing yourself to just be. It is by far the hardest thing I have learned to do but one of the most worthwhile.

[@Audrey.17]

So glad you talked about the Self Improvement and Making Every Minute Count. I very much agree that these are so drilled into society and it’s making us crazy. I had to stop watching some You Tubers because I was tired of the constant productivity content. I also had to tone down my Oprah viewing as she is Always talking about self improvement and how to live out your dreams. It got to be stressful and I felt like such a looser not being able to figure out my dream life, until I finally figured out that it’s really overkill and that I am indeed doing just fine with my career and I do make a difference. Great content Vera! ❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! I agree, that kind of content can make us feel bad about our own life, when actually, we have a wonderful life and so much to be grateful for. I think it's a fine line between going for what you want and getting out there, or just always needing more and never feeling like our life is good enough already

[@user-kv7ey8sh5y]

Thank you so much for all your input into my life. Recently I've learned to set boundaries for myself and this helps so much. Thank you again 😊

[@rosera7405]

Am glad you talked about stop spending time with people who don't share common values.i had this experience with these 2 female friends. I love to read and discuss topics whilst they have no interest in books or education. Their interest is social media gossip and cheating boyfriends. I was feeling guilty to leave them behind. 2023 I made the decision to leave them behind and have discovered a lot of good things about me. Am glad I did 😃😃😃😃😃.

[@williamclark1244]

I already do much of what is on your list. It took me a while to get here but I am happy and at peace with the simplicity of it all. I stopped taking my phone everywhere. I started setting boundaries with other people and it ended a lot of relationships. I don’t subscribe to hustle culture either. Slow and steady is better in my opinion. Self improvement is okay up to a point but I stopped being so obsessed with trying to reach unattainable goals of perfection. That doesn’t exist for anyone. As a vegan I used to keep quiet when people criticized my lifestyle but now I don’t compromise my ethics. I don’t argue but I will put my foot down when needed.

[@beautyintakes]

Your channel Is the one I can listen to without getting bored and increasing the playback speed. I feel so relaxed watching your videos.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

That's a wonderful compliment to receive 🥰 Thank you so much!!

[@beautyintakes]

@@SimpleHappyZen You earned this 👏

[@bonniehafeman9757]

The con+stant pressure to make sense of others expectations. Thanks.

[@hazelsalvador4849]

I am watching your vlog at 3am. And all of your advices are true to me. Thanks!

[@HauteBabe]

Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. 🤯 💥

[@vritarita6871]

Great video, Vera! New mic worked well -)) A thing that most resonated with me was that 'we are good enough already'. Growing up it was easy for me to study, I never thought that this is something special, and took it for granted. With the internet spreading around all those 'how to be more productive', 'how to improve yourself' from every corner I started thinking that something is wrong with me and I need to try better. At first I did realize that this is for people who really struggle in life, but now it seems like everybody is struggling, since those videos are so popularized, and I fell for those as well. It's like false advertisement for teens - you are disgusting, you have to buy this product to be normal! Same with self-improving videos. You are not good enough, listen to us, we will tell you how to be better! And advice is always the same, 'try harder' and 'pay money so we tell you what to do if we are your coaches'. It is brain-washing and it is not only dangerous and disgusting (because they just make money), but it ruins our self-esteem even if it is on a normal healthy level. Thank you for pointing that out!

[@softsophisticate]

I liked your post. I always think, what did we do when we all lived in caves :) Our focus was on getting our next meal and keeping warm. After that we probably relaxed, slept, had sex, played, argued, taught the kids how to fish and hunt. We really have made our lives so complicated. For what?

[@patriciafisher3108]

I think I could be putting out kinder energy if I adopt your sweet way of refusing to be sold something by doing it with a smile. This will take some practice, as I will need to adjust my grumpy reaction to having my space violated. I need to reframe my reaction in these situations. I have a feeling this will do me good. Thank You

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Glad to hear it! :) Hope it'll work as well for you as it does for me! :)

[@creativelady7]

I absolutely love #20. I deeply resonate with this one. I am somewhat introverted and my mind is always creating or contemplating. So many things that other people present you with in your life are fruitless, frivolous, or meaningless, or time wasters. And yes, people tend to use you if you are a people pleaser type. I like to keep to myself often and do constructive things, or relax and enjoy the quieter moments. Otherwise I feel rushed and involved in activities that make time rush by and I barely comprehend what I have been doing.

[@music-lab-relax]

Vera, thank you for sharing the ideas of mental health and simple life! 🌿 saying NO is such a good practice, it can make us free in many ways! 🙂

[@ofirshorshy8281]

I often have high expectation of me and definitly of other, as I was once told I behave as a 18' centery woman and not a 21 ' centery one. I trust the word people give, and when they're disloyal it hurts me, and when they fail my expectation I could cry and feel really sad. It takes me time to realize that the only 2 people I get in touch at a time is dou to low amount of people that stand in their words around where I live. I find it also hard to lower my expectation of myself, I need to practice this

[@hanguyen-fm8xv]

No.16 you dont own anyone an explanation. It s a great reminder for me!

[@cynthiacrumlish4683]

I am on the Could Team! Grateful to my French friends for embodying this approach to life and serving as models!

[@Dollcan]

I agree with each of these points. Saying no thanks can be difficult for me as well but I’m learning.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

It's not always easy :) Practice makes it less difficult though in my opinion :)

[@kemalasari6778]

I found your channel with my random youtube algorithm, but really grateful for that. Recently i have thoughts that i think not too relate with much people, and happily i find in your most of thoughts, mean so much for me..bunch of thanks....bless for you all the time. I like most about life is need space..pause and need to reflect... it is when your awareness is fully yours :)

[@stephaniefemia493]

I’m heading back into the classroom today (teacher mom) and this video has been a timely reminder to step into the new school year with my boundaries in tact. Thank you. I also laughed out loud at …”stop should-ing all over myself.” Brilliant. PS. Your new mic works well. Your voice is so soothing.😌

[@mariamirolyubova6921]

I love this video, Vera! Everything you talked about resonated with me! It's hard for me to not feel guilty when I'm just taking a break in my day to relax & enjoy an activity. I'm learning to let go of what my family thinks about my breaks. I'm a homeschooling mom & I need them--that's all!!! I also love your name! "Vera" in Russian means "faith". Much love your way from Ukraine!

[@jessicajones4247]

Productivity, self improvement and people who drain your energy! Resonated a lot. Had burnout a few times in my life x