257. Depression: My Journey, My Tips and Techniques

I have been coping with depression for many years. In this video I offer my perspective on some key issues, talk a little about my own story and offer some tips to help those who also deal with the condition.
My Boyfriend and I in conversation on the blog: www.thefourquee...
Blog post about self-harm: www.thefourquee...
Emotional healing video and write-up: www.thefourquee...
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IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: My advice videos usually present a number of different possibilities and suggestions, some of which may be more relevant to your situation than others. Please ensure that you TAKE WHAT RESONATES AND LEAVE THE REST. None of the advice I offer is intended to be taken as gospel, and when I suggest certain exercises or mindset shifts, I am offering them to people GENERALLY rather than to you SPECIFICALLY. I don’t know your personal situation and my advice videos are therefore not made with you in mind. What might be great advice for one person to try might be terrible advice for you! You are ultimately responsible for your actions and decisions.
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Kelly-Ann Maddox
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[@lissalye]

I will be 40 this year and I have suffered from my depression and mood disorder for nearly my entire life. I was a cutter, I self sabotaged, I disassociated, I self medicated, I made decisions from a low place and consequently made my situation worse and worse without ever realizing that I was inadvertently playing into my horrific reality. I turned my back on journaling, spirituality and creative writing which were the only things that helped me as a teen because my misery caused me to doubt there was any point to such frivolity. I sought love and acceptance outside of myself from toxic people and from substances and material things. I was hospitalized on 4 separate occasions and during 2 of those occasions I received ECT. I left from the last hospitalization on 6 different prescriptions that cost me over 100$ a month to fill after my insurance covered the most part. On some of these occasions I had no job to help with the cost of these medicines. I did finally see a therapist who empowered me by teaching me mindfulness. He showed me a few ways to separate myself from my feelings and see that I was not my thoughts and that my thoughts might not even be true. I had enough sessions with him to become more functional and then I resigned myself to chronic emotional pain and accepted that I may have to go inpatient every once and a while to get help and I took my medicine. This was not wellness, this was functional. It had its place in my recovery like everything else. My moment of impact was when I allowed myself to become authentic. When I started letting my natural attraction to things, that my culture (in the southern US) and my family of origin suppressed, take their own course. When I entitled myself to my own version of spirit, love and creativity I really began to grow and I studied Buddhism for quite some time and as I became more spacious and questioned the stories that I was telling myself about reality or my perception of reality it all began to change. This did happen in baby steps and it has only been in the last 3-4 years that I have woken up to my life. I am on *my* path now and all of my choices count in ways that I have never been able to appreciate before. I'm not a victim anymore and I actually have several youtube teachers to thank and KellyAnn you are one of them. I fell to pieces and started writing this autobiography when you mentioned the part about just making yourself a cup of tea. Just putting the kettle on and saying to yourself I will just do this one thing for myself- how heartrendingly true! How soulfully poignant that in the bombast of our most hurtful inner dialog that we can put a pot of water on and just do one simple thing for ourselves and the loving sentiment of of this quiet meditation hushes the voices within. This is how it is for me and how it gets better and how one gentle thing leads to another. I have had to fight for my soul but I've also had to believe that my soul was and is worth fighting for. Your videos on all the wonderful things you talk about but specifically on self love and owning your story and being entitled to use belief as your tool and giving yourself the permission to believe what you want have moved me so far on my path. Thank you for this and for everything else. The universe is not just broken pieces, things connect. You have connected with me. Blessed be. The struggle is real and continues, my daughter has the same issues that I have and I am trying to shepherd her through this now. Problems don't dissolve but I am big enough to hold them and bold enough to face them. Love, compassion, wholeness and oneness have to be at the top of your list and for yourself first!

[@RunninUpThatHillh]

I think buying a plant and taking care of it (gardening) is so good, too. Eating right is so..right. It's those little moments of self-love..self-care. I really love this video, thank you for making it!

[@kelly-annmaddox]

***** Gardening, taking care of plant life - absolutely! :)

[@CherryBerry48]

i had depression as long as i can remember and almost took my own life 3 times and each time an angel came and sat on my bed and weeped telling me not to do it. so here i am, still fighting the battle!!

[@Emmastayofftheinternet]

I used to never know when I wasn't in the void of depression. now that I look after my body and my mental and spiritual health I can tell exactly when an episode comes along and I know I can put into motion some activities and rituals that help to ease the pain. I never knew the difference until I stopped drinking and began fueling my body correctly. it's taken me 15 years to figure at least this out.

[@slam710711]

How can anyone vote negatively on this wonderful blog?

[@lemurianchick]

Steven Lambert Maybe vegans who don't like the yogurt in the smoothie or think banana with citrus as bad food-combining? LOL--God only knows...

[@kelly-annmaddox]

lemurian chick The yogurt was vegan so the joke's on them. :P ;)

[@rootsofaurora]

Exactly what I was thinking! So weird... Maybe scientologists? ;)

[@thehighpriestess8431]

I feel exactly the same way. It bugs me to see videos with awesome and compassionate content being given a thumb down. I guess jealous people, and who knows what kind of people do it. I need to do shadow work to find out why it bothers me so much. Kelly Ann Maddox is rock solid, humble, and a sweetheart of a person who calls her audience pop-tarts and other sweet loaded endearments. She is darn smart, creative - Oh so creative, I love all her outfits and hair styles and looks in general-. She is also so generous to share in KZbin a wealth of information to help people help themselves achieve their best selves. I am grateful that she is such a positive influence in the You Tube world. Blessed be Kelly Ann Maddox.

[@butterflymagicwithhottea9291]

IKR

[@Strega_del_Corvo]

Omfg!! Kelly-Ann! I can't believe you just mentioned "learning about dinosaurs" as a childhood focus. I feel like you just reached through the screen and started talking to me specifically. I had thousands of dinosaurs as a kid, and would spend my lunch time at school in the library photocopying books and checking out/reading books on dinosaurs. I couldn't talk to a single individual and had zero friends, but dinosaurs were the biggest fascination and sense of joy in my life at the time. I STILL remember those feelings.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

+AngelofSeitan

[@radiantchristina]

i agree, one cannot be "healed" from depression, there are just ways to cope with it when it gets tough. i have depression and anxiety, and there are months that go by where i don't have any depression or anxiety episodes, but then there are times like now, where i've just gone through a mastectomy for breast cancer and the depression sort of sneaks into the forefront. I am able for the most part to cope with it when it strikes, but it is a constant battle. Thank you for sharing your insights

[@CailleachScathach]

radiantchristina You rock.

[@blairmirth6328]

Thank you for this video. I am going through the darkness at the moment. And it is about coping not getting rid of it.

[@stevedoss3714]

Thank you for posting this. It's very informative and the more people understand how devastating clinical depression is the better.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

+Steve Doss Thank you for watching. :)

[@honeyandfable]

Sweet flippin' goodness, this came at just the perfect time for me~ Thank you for sharing, Kelly-Ann!

[@rebecavaldez4198]

Thank you Kelly-Ann for sharing your story and wisdom. I love the Kali/Kahlo behind you! They illustrate the strength, power and beauty born through grief and pain...blessings!

[@KateyFlowers]

Thank you. Thank you. So much of what you said is true, but it's also hard to hear. I'm nearly finished DBT (dialectics, baby!), which has really given me my life back, and the first 'assumption' of DBT is that 'I am doing my best AND I need to do better'. God that was hard to hear. But it's so true. If what you're doing isn't working, what other alternative is there than to do better? They always make you fill out those forms that measure your distress or emotion level, and what I thought was so interesting, and something that really helped shift my perspective on what 'recovery' meant for me, was when I filled out the DBT evaluation form at my six month mark. What it determined was that my emotions and their intensity was basically exactly the same as when I started DBT. What had changed was how I was responding and coping with them. It really was about changing my attitude and finding healthy techniques to cope and mastering them. Every episode is horrible and debilitating, and it's also an opportunity to master my techniques or try out new ones. Recovery for me is not about being rid of Bipolar symptoms forever, it's about becoming and feeling competent in responding to my symptoms. It's not the fairy tale cure, but I'm learning to live again and I couldn't be more grateful or, to be perfectly honest, proud. :) Sorry, I got a bit rambly! But thank you for sharing. Your words are so powerful. And the transcript of the conversation with your boyfriend was incredible.

[@KateyFlowers]

Katey Flowers Oh, something I did want to ask - I'm not sure if I know how to word this, so please forgive me, but here goes... In your last video about your chronic pain, you spoke about the need to stop telling the story of chronic pain. How do you think you can balance that with sharing your story? I'm sorry if that seems really simplistic or daft, but I do find myself concerned with this. I want to use my story to help others, and I'm really excited that through advocacy I might be able to do that, but I'm aware that this means talking about and thinking about my own illness quite a bit. Do you have any thoughts or tips on how I can stay in that space of helpfully telling and sharing my story without crossing the line into feeding into my own story of being sick? I hope that made sense! xx

[@lissalye]

Katey Flowers If I may add my opinion, I think it is the way you tell your story. Is it a defeating and debilitating story or is it an empowering story that allows you room to rise up and grow stronger...? Does your story help you create a better reality or future or is it something that decreases you every time you tell it? Do you see what I mean? Just my take on it.

[@autimarie]

Back for a re-watch. So grateful for your videos. 🖤

[@BloodBathandCake]

For anyone dealing with depression/anxiety, go get your adrenal glands tested via saliva testing as well as your thyroid. This is where depression/anxiety stems from. If either gland is weak, you will have depression and anxiety.

[@MollySato]

Thank you for this, Kelly-Ann. I want to send you so much love, you know, you give synchronicity a very special meaning right here and now. I've been depressed on and off through almost all my life. For most part of it, I was deeply ashamed of it and hated myself immensely for it. Then I got tools and realized and recognized good tools I've used the entire time to ease the depression. Around 2011 I stopped taking anti-depressants due to meditation and the wisdom I found on my newly found pagan path.. Well, now I acknowledge to myself that I actually am depressed again and have been so for about a year. And, oh yes, it tastes a bit sour. :-P BUT! I will not be ashamed of it. I will not see it as a defeat (Life is not a contest!). I know the tools. I will use them again. And again. And again, if necessary. Much, much love and many hugs and blessings to you, my wise sister! ♥

[@halcyon_distilled]

Kelly Ann this is a such a beautiful video and so helpful to me. I am a school counselor and I have so many students who self-harm. I strive to learn about this topic through different kinds of resources in an effort to help them and find ways for my students to set themselves free from this injurious practice. I just read your blog post too. I wish you could come to my school as a guest speaker. Much love and light to you. Sat nam

[@MissB74]

Hi, new subscriber here. I just wanted to let you know that I think that it is wonderful that you are sharing your story and perspectives on depression. Thank you for your light, love, and bravery. :)

[@wicca.tarot.lenormand]

This advice is valid for any kind of chronic health issue. Thank you.💪

[@CherryBerry48]

yup i hear you girl, when it comes over me, i get so sad and hate everything and everyone and then i get so angry and even then hate my own shadow.

[@Danielle.flowerchild]

Thanks for sharing, I have a similar story. I see my depression like a heavy dark cloud in the back of my mind that surfaces and lingers. I agree it never really goes away, I feel it's a little better as you get to know yourself better and learn coping skills- like mindfulness. I haven't been able to find a type of treatment that works really well because the root of my depression seems to be about existentialism.

[@pinkpanda5696]

Thank you for being so open about your experience. I feel this could really, really help people dealing with depression.

[@shanehiggs1779]

Great, great video and blog post - very helpful. I recently had a bad relapse with anxiety and depression because I thought I would better off without meds. That was not a good idea at all. What I was missing though is that meds are only part of it - coping strategies are the other and I wasn't doing that to the level I should. Your vid put it in a really good perspective for me - so thank you!

[@CailleachScathach]

My mental health issues started when I was 10 too. I also was suicidal at the age of 17. I've only realized/discovered that these issues run in my family over this past year. I find it really interesting to hear another woman say that they had a mental issue manifest at age 10. I've been diagnosed with Anxiety and some ADHD, but I'm almost completely sure that I have struggled with depression too. You have excellent advice (much of which I already practice and find extremely useful). You look especially beautiful in this video! I also love your Kali poster.

[@imdivyamenon]

pizza is one of those things that lifts my spirit, no joke.

[@tiffanyblue6894]

So much of what you said is true, it is like a black wave when it happens. It is true I find if I spend some moments in bed when I wake before getting up, then having my coffee and lighting the incense after I am help definitely helps me. Thanks for sharing.

[@fairysimy9776]

Really loved your video , I was told I had depression at 16 when my mam passed away , and my depression , was really all over the place at that time having to deal with fact at a young age of having no parents , but now am only 21 but I am still finding ways of dealing with my depression and my spiritually have helped a great deal and of course watching your amazing videos Blessing )0(

[@deborahhustad1201]

Thank you so much for recording and posting this video!

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Deborah Hustad

[@happinesskhushi7953]

your videos are sooo helpful. Thank you so much for doing such a great work. Please keep on doing so. I feel so positive after seeing your videos. I feel hopeful.

[@elizebethjames]

Everything you just said. I mean everything. Seriously. Yes. Trying to pluck up the courage to get a Tarot reading with you. It has been a real target for me but can't quite get to that place yet.

[@alistairvonhohenheim6808]

Thank you Kelly-Ann...

[@kitdubhran2968]

Thank you for opening up as usual, and sharing parts of your personal experiences. Would you say that depression is similar to addiction, in that it's not something that goes away, but is something you just deal with each day, sometimes better than others.

[@ivythorne4236]

Tho I struggle deeply with depression, and have watched and been assisted by TONS of your vids, I had dismissed this one time and time again, with the rational that it wouldn't be "interesting" to me. 😏 Buuuut it has turned out to be, probably, the most absolutely pertinent video for me to have watched, at last. The thing is dense with helpful tools for me in relation to many facets of my depression, but I will just reference that owning accountability for the things that I can do, the tools that I can employ, the awareness that I can attend to in making my depression less damaging to my life is directly related to a certain melancholic, victimized passivity toward life, in general, that I have observed in many of my familial elders, and then, with a sense of shame, watched myself repeat patterns of. I want to be as conscious and accountable for my personal agency, in all areas of my life, as possible. Thank you, again and again, for all of your transformational content. 👾

[@PeachPlastic]

This is such good advice. For one, because it's all true (especially that 'one size' does not fit all!), but especially because I can feel that you feel what you're talking about. Although this theory was made up during medieval times, I always seem to return to the four temperaments. Because even though my most dire depressive phase to date is over, I am very much prone to melancholia to an extent that it seems like a personality trait of mine. I personally find that even when all things lose their flavour, I can still write. Writing is the one thing I can do under all circumstances. I do sometimes have kind of a hard time remembering to move my body though, haha. You're right, the mornings are SO important. I often just wake up under a strange blanket of dark feelings. And in bed, of course, we're the most helpless, since we're already pinned down. I am also dealing with a lot of the boyfriend's "loving insistence" you speak of! I am currently starting to work on understanding the mechanics of my personal self-harm impulses. I'm sort of clueless how to go about this, but I find it calms me to, for now, just collect my thoughts and experiences on the topic by writing. I hope to maybe derive some sort of essay from those recollections on some later day, or learn from it not only for myself but also for my future clients.

[@ForTheWitches]

This is the most relatable video I've ever watched. This was very helpful and hopefully I can begin to manage my own depression :3 Baby steps everyone!!

[@imaginareality]

Great video, the first one I watched from you. I'm definitely gonna check out your channel!. This made me realise that I'm already doing a lot of things right and that I'm already pretty good at noticing what helps me and when I feed my depression. So this made me a little bit proud :-) I'm still struggling a lot at the moment and it's not at all going well, but...at least I'm looking for ways to help myself get through it :-)

[@hugo8-track727]

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

[@bilko1971]

I used to see depression coming in a black and purple wave, that was enough to send me into a panic so when i heard you say wave i immediately started to empathise. Infact these past 2 days it seems as if the ledge i was perched on has slid down the mountain side and i can feel the mud geysers of emotion building to an eruption that will consume me. Or not. I wanted to say thankyou so ill do that before writing becomes a poetic release valve of catharsis and to add; Dont be ashamed of your depression. Yoga, meditation, art, movement like dance have all been helpful for me. Buy some crayons or i use chalk pastels and get those emotions out. Go mental! Strike the page with 2 or 3 pastels at once if you must. Lash out in explosions of colour or just feel into your body the shapes and colours and then transfer them to paper. And dont focus on making it look pretty or arty rather use it as a form of release. It really helps. If you are in the UK, Tiger ( shop ) does really cheap pastels that are great for this! I follow the teachings of a woman called Teal Swan which have helped me immensely. Build a routine as well so you can learn to trust yourself. Thats something im learning at the moment. Celebrate your victories! Whether its making that cup of tea or or meditating for 15 minutes.

[@darkangelwhisperer]

Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us, I to have depression and anxiety in my family line. Since using Tarot and meditating I have been able to get a handle on it. I will light incense and drink a cup of tea to help pull me out of it or listen to up beat music. I also have learned to pull away from toxic family members, I created my spiritual FB to have a positive social media space. My personal FB with my family members has such a negative vibe compared to my spiritual FB. I believe you have you touched on this also in another video Many Blessings and hugs

[@kelly-annmaddox]

NeeneAngel Whisperer I think it's so important that people feel the necessary freedom to pull away from relationships with family members which have become toxic and damaging, and I commend your courage in taking that decision.

[@kuolevainen]

God Kelly Ann, you’re a blessing.

[@destinyfive]

Sometimes laziness is a symptom of depression. For me I know when I am heavy under a spell, it is harder to get myself moving an doing things and I lack the energy I have when I am not having symptoms. You though, there is no way you are lazy with all these videos and that mind you have with so much information and your wikid awesome vocabulary. :D

[@Chas6001]

Thank you Kelly Ann so helpful!!

[@DeborahAbelha]

Thank you so much for this video so therapeutic you're an Angel

[@ClaireDeLaLune]

Very interesting video ! Thanks a lot !

[@Strega_del_Corvo]

I know I'm late to the ball game with this one but I have some relax time and am taking a small wander through past videos. This is such a great ramble on the topic. I was depressed and diagnosed in high school, but my main mental illness is crippling anxiety. One of THE WORST things people ask is "why are you so worried?" I DONT FUCKING KNOW! Lol. Journaling has been a godsend for me and has become a gift that I give myself at the end of each day. I'm in the middle of the video now, so ignore me if you talk about this, but have you seen Melancholia by Lars Von Trier? I am unsure how I feel about him as a filmmaker, but that movie depicts depression so well. It's rough to watch, but comforting in a really bizarre way. As far as animals aiding depression: I often remember long spans of time where I would sit with my dog or my cat and pour out my heart and soul for hours in the backyard or buried in my room. I will never forget them. They were the ones that genuinely helped me.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

+AngelofSeitan

[@e13kid]

Everyone in my life thinks I'm happy and carefree but I've suffered from depression for years. I made a video poem about my depression on my channel and I've been trying to work up the courage to show it to my friends and family for so long now. But the right time just hasn't happened yet. I'm surrounded by friends and loved ones but I'm so lonely.

[@nesutetshandra5866]

Thank you!

[@gratuitousfootnote1183]

I love this video, thank you. May I ask how you are able to run with spine problems? I have disc disease in my lumbar and I would give myself a horrible sciatica flareup if I went for a run. Please forgive my curiosity if you prefer not to discuss these things with a stranger.

[@MrSamisue27]

as always, totally spot on!!!

[@stevedoss3714]

Kelly Ann. Did anybody tell you that you resembled Tracy Ullmann? I think the BBC should give you your own show. You're massively intelligent,funny , and very compassionate. I have found very few true empathy in the mental health field. I can only go from being in the U.S and being in the Army for 2 years. The internet and KZbin is a cornucopia of massive information on all things dealing with mental health. Yet I see nothing on mainstream TV that ever truly deals with the true devastation of long-term clinical depression, manic depression or schizophrenia. I know they have documentaries on these subjects,yet we as a culture we are so obsessed with the current cult of celebrity like Simon Cowell- Kardashian's- Everybody wants their 15 minutes of fame,understandable but in the end it all is so fleeting and you're left with nothing but ashes and ativan. I loved ativan by the way- couldn't get enough of it,finally detoxed last year at the West Los Angeles Veterans Administration. I'm a narcissitic tosser myself- but man there is truly still a shitload of stigma dealing with true mental illness. Know I've rambled but I go on energy and vibes too- and you seem extremely down -to-earth and very understanding. The world needs more compassion and you have it.

[@CherryBerry48]

that juice you made, can you write the recipe down what you used please

[@rootsofaurora]

It's interesting because when I had my worst depression at age 20 everyone around me (doctors, nurses etc) told me it had to be because of low serotonin levels. I didn't believe them, because I always had reasons to be depressed, even though they weren't super traumatic, there were still reasons. So they convinced me to medicate which only made me worse unfortunately... I'm saying it's interesting ´cause it seems like they told you the other way around, that you had to find that reason though there were none! I really wish they would just listen to the individual instead of deciding immediately that "oh it must be this!" and then refusing to see it any other way. I thought of suicide for the first time when I was 5. Was sent to a school psychologist when I was 8. Started self-harming at 14 and stopped around age 22. Had my latest depression in 2012, which I healed from at the end of 2013. Even though I believe I am a very sensitive person (perhaps a HSP?) and I think I will always have a much bigger tendency to fall into depression, I don't believe it's chronic. Because since 2013 I've actually felt happy, content, joyful, and just overall good. And it makes me so happy to know that it's never too late. I was convinced a couple of years ago I could never be happy. But today I am, with no medications and no on-going therapy. I am grateful for every day I get without depression and anxiety. You're coping so well Kelly-Ann, thank you so much for this video! Love, Ania

[@ladymorganahps4238]

Depression as you know is a chemical inbalance. It can be treated with medication. I liken it to an illness which is managed but in some people not cured. Akin to diabetics. You have your coping skills and this is wonderful! Thanks for a highly informative video of great importance. BB

[@sydegee]

Randomly came across your youtube videos today and you sound so lovely and intelligent! If you are indeed seeking some truth there may be a way to get rid of this type of depression/mental health problem if you want it gone out of your life for real. I have a very similar life story as far as depression running in my family, taking antidepressants, almost killing myself many times, even many forms of mental health problems including schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder. If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to or are curious about what helped me just shoot me a message :D

[@Joyceline]

I grew up in a house where crying was discouraged. "Stop crying now," my mother would always say, almost scolding. It would piss me off, like no matter how upset I'd get -- being depressed, losing a sick relative, feeling betrayed or angry-- I was always expected to maintain composure. Let me cry, dammit. LOL

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Joyceline Taking that power back means so much.

[@mikeysharp6280]

You are brilliant!

[@ThomasWBaldwin]

you are beautiful. i love to hear you and see you. thank you.

[@thepostalstitcher]

Hello lush kitty, Question. The painting behind you- your left.. As I pulled up your video, I just seen this image and realized that I've seen it in a dreams.. May I ask what this should mean?. Xx

[@NightWillowCrafts]

I don't know if you have a video about this or if you mention it in this one (I've only gotten a few minutes in as of writing this) but could you talk about some strategies to help with feelings of guilt/shame? Whenever I try to do something for myself, I end up feeling so much worse because I'm constantly told I'm being selfish and hurting everyone around me. I always feel like I have no one to turn to to talk about this with. I'm sure I'm not the only going through this so it might help some others too

[@Snails13]

Thank you for sharing this

[@unraveledspacecube3512]

Thanks for sharing, very helpful.

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

I need to know about the kali behind you!!

[@LisaLisa-dm8xk]

Great vid. Thanks. I feel the same way about depression. I was wondering, do you take requests? I'd love to hear more about the five cards. Maybe on your Tea and Tarot section? I'm curious as to what you think about them. Thanks.

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Lisa Kane Hi there. :) I'm not sure what you mean by 'the five cards'?

[@LisaLisa-dm8xk]

I was thinking about depression and five cards in Tarot. Five of Cups, Five of Pentacles, Five of Swords, Five of Wands. I was pondering connections. Perhaps the push/pull of feeling like being a mediator - or simply navigating the balance between embracing (accepting) sadness and at the same time wanting not to feel the thickness of melancholy. Anyway, that's how I made my way to the Five cards and it occurred to me you might be willing to create a video about them. Any chance? No worries if it's not your thing, I just thought I'd ask. I have learned a lot from your offerings here and I've enjoyed the journey. Thanks for all you do.

[@annab2878]

Hi Kelly-Anne, I'm a big fan on your insights and teachings on tarot! Sorry to hear you've been suffering from depression. I definitely know and understand, and I would even hazard a guess that everybody experiences depression during their life. I hope that your experiences so far help you understand depression more and more, when it comes, and even begin to love those moments and not fight with them. I disagree with you on one point, I don't believe drugs heal depression. I think that the only real 'cure' or remedy for depression is meditation as it leads to silence which is absence of thought ergo absence of any possibility of depression. Haha. I think the way drugs are prescribed and used now is extremely unhealthy and ultimately they are a numbing mechanism that won't and can't mend you for the long term. That being said, there are a number of paths that lead to meditation (such as tarot, healthy relationships, experiences, spiritual experiences etc.) so I like your analogy of a toolbox, things you've learnt in your life that have changed over time your approach to depression. Keep up the good work!

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Anna Baccarini Thanks for your lovely words about my Tarot videos. :) I don't believe that drugs heal depression and would never say that. I'm not sure how it was inferred from this video but I definitely should have been more clear about it. I also don't believe that there is necessarily a 'cure' for depression, although there may be for some people. I believe that medications can be useful in crisis situations and effective for some people alongside talking therapy as a way to level out the emotions and stop severe highs and lows. I believe this because people who have been on those kinds of medications have reported such experiences - why should I disbelieve them? Their journey is just as valid as mine. I genuinely don't believe that there is one right way. I agree with you that meditation is awesome for depression but it doesn't work for everyone. Much love! x

[@annab2878]

The Four Queens Hello! Thanks for responding Kelly-Anne. I hope I didn't come across as being disrespectful or simplistic in my first comment. The reason I wrote it is because there is a moment early on in the video when you mention medication and from memory, you mention it as a possible way to treat it, so thanks for explaining your thoughts on that. I hear your experience with friends who have found meds to be an effective way of managing severe depression and I'm sure that's true. I also agree that in those stages, drugs are certainly necessary. However, in my comment I was more referring to their long term use and how I have seen very negative results from that and henceforth, how it can turn into a vicious cycle that is difficult for the person to get out of. Maybe you're right and that meditation isn't the solution for everyone, but I feel it could at least benefit everyone. It can be a very gradual thing that takes years to develop, (in fact a whole lifetime!), but it doesn't necessarily mean sitting alone. It can come doing anything, painting a picture, reading, talking with a friend, these are moments when meditation has been able to settle in me. Thanks for sharing with me, love :)

[@travaltino9606]

Hi do you do SD work when you depressed. ?

[@CherryBerry48]

i found getting tattoos is my form of self harming instead of actually cutting myself, i have 8 tatts now

[@DeborahAbelha]

@31:08 and sleeping totally @31:42

[@DeborahAbelha]

@25:35 exactly

[@Ejcfarley]

Love this Xxxx

[@elineeugenie5224]

hi Kelly Ann, what happened to the 'four queens' blogs?! the links via Chrome only take me to casinos, yuk! definitely not what i was looking for😏

[@kelly-annmaddox]

Hi there! I still have the same website the name has changed - I now vlog at kelly-annmaddox.com

[@elineeugenie5224]

Kelly-Ann Maddox duh.. i guess i should have known😊

[@DeborahAbelha]

@18:10 very important

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

💗💗💗💗💗

[@elizebethjames]

Oh yes. Yes, yes and again yes, Kelly-Ann. From a place of 'deep-ression' myself, I wish you much love and a whole lot of chick peas. (Chick peas healed me) Love xx

[@kellypriscila2119]

[@elineeugenie5224]

what would i do without you?🌹

[@ladymorganahps4238]

Typo Imbalance