#265

[@OurBlackFriend]

In such trying times of turmoil and injustice, the Polo Pig is truly a shining, guiding light. I wish him well.

[@Eblis840]

🏌🏻‍♂️

[@lordfordification]

Polo Pig would be a great bipedal cartoon character.

[@SuperBrentendo89]

Has he been called Polo Pig before? Because that’s fantastic haha

[@mountfairweather]

Amen

[@Gerdaldfighterkid]

U T O P I A

[@rachisinspace]

Tim always talks about how he used to listen to Alex Jones at night to fall asleep, and he’s that person for me. When I hear that opening line I get so happy lol

[@Xr3737]

infowars will always be the ultimate bedtime lullaby

[@rachisinspace]

@@Xr3737 I love hearing about supplements and food supplies to drift off

[@JUANO510]

Marry me beautiful would u mind being with a Puerto Rican?

[@FlippyHambone]

Alex Jones should be the exclusive muzak for all elevators and lobbies.

[@caseylainhart9445]

Same

[@peppino1961]

Hearing Tim’s voice at the beginning of the show is so comforting. I have never enjoyed a comic as much as this guy, he’s truly gifted.

[@topdhen]

It’s a real cock fight out there

[@Jonathan_Guice]

@Ken McMullen he's got a dog as his pfp, so I'd say so

[@yanquiufo7113]

You mean he's truly grifted?

[@mattkirby994]

@@Jonathan_Guice Come to the comments for thoughtful, measured analysis... End up discovering I'm gay.

[@curefan99]

Truly!

[@polricart5650]

Tim reading Ads is funnier than Jimmy Fallon's monologue

[@whitexchina]

Fact!

[@hershyworlds8041]

Tim breathing in a deep sleep may be funnier than Jimmy Fallon saying anything

[@blastbeatindustries3191]

The death rattle of my only child is funnier that Jimmy Fallon's monologue.

[@DeckofLies]

People confuse Fallon and Kimmel, Fallon is whatever but it’s Kimmel who’s far worse

[@comebackseason8384]

Call her daddy being banned in Afghanistan is the biggest act of charity possible

[@letsgojake.4078]

Akscuse may? Im over here in Kabble teaching Ofgonnis about trans rights and sex positivity. I need the positivity of my sisters in audio form. How dare you.

[@Boardermelodies]

As a sales person I endorse this message

[@SleeplessSpecter]

If that was the end result, maybe it was all worth it.

[@ShatterNWO]

@@letsgojake.4078 Your village must not have gotten word...RUN.

[@haskunka]

So much truth in this podcast it’s scary 😧

[@Evan03Grimes]

Tim trying to hold back shitting on his sponsors is next level funny.

[@eoinoconnell185]

Problem is, Burr has done the ''shitting on the sponsors'' schtick already.

[@famousbastard5344]

@@eoinoconnell185 its not a schtick its more just seething rage against them. also like bill burr isnt funny and has never been. Atleast Fim is like actually funny and has things such as talent, wit and an understanding of comedy. bill burr is a hack

[@kevinsmoon3257]

@@famousbastard5344 agreed, and burr sometimes just screams into a microphone in hopes of a laugh it can be irritating sometimes

[@Blake_.Dryden]

I use Ben's general reaction to determine whether the ads are worth not skipping

[@CrashRacknShoot]

"HOLD. A KNIFE. TO THE THE THROAT. OF A SALMON. Boxofawesome code TimDillon."

[@MeeN905]

@@MrCecil Better Help is the best :)

[@aaroneusjames2342]

I love when he pauses during an ad rant to say "Cut the Shit!"

[@BrandonGallemore]

Tim Dillon is my favorite podcaster now. He pays attention to the world too. How is he the only one saying all of this?

[@B-RaDD]

Tim and Flagrant 2, do it for me

[@ko349]

He’s a fearless entity

[@ko349]

russel brand is alsooo going off

[@BrandonGallemore]

@@ko349 you're right about Russell Brand too.

[@ThsBehaviorsNtUnique]

Ryan Long

[@codycole722]

Tim Dillon is the only American who could make the Taliban laugh

[@kellanriley1074]

Tim Dillon is the Taliban

[@imemberberry]

Tim Dillon, and Sebastian.

[@ShatterNWO]

no one goes after feminists harder

[@DarnThatDragon]

Taliban got BÉTA BACK

[@jamesbael6255]

Not the only one...ever heard the story about the young 'bul and the old 'bul?

[@jacobmcclain6503]

Ben is funny. He said the sound track to his life is the sound track to no country for old men, a movie that has no music

[@kellanriley1074]

After watching this whole episode in 5 minutes I proceeded to single handedly disarm and disband the Taliban from all the knowledge I absorbed from our lord and saviour, Tim Dillon. Thank you for showing us the true path to enlightenment.

[@ShatterNWO]

then who are these men in the tunnels holding me hostage?

[@hurrifanc.3434]

@@ShatterNWO IDF you're going to Epstein island...cheers!

[@radcow]

Why really you beat the Taliban all by yourself very impressive

[@ShatterNWO]

@@hurrifanc.3434 Is the island also in Afghanistan, like the DC tunnels?

[@robhargreaves9285]

Tim Dillon fans post the best comments🤣👍

[@jacktomala4561]

I love when Tim is by himself ranting while Ben cracks up.

[@DannySullivanMusic]

wow. utterly true!!

[@franknieblas7804]

I don’t like when he has guests.

[@D0land0_94]

Thats the entire show...

[@TRLgoodvibesdotcom]

Therefore you love the show

[@TRLgoodvibesdotcom]

@@D0land0_94 😆 exactly

[@nate2435]

I really look forward to Tim putting the week in perspective every Saturday night

[@BEERBOMB113]

Its definitely a coping mechanism for me amongst the worlds chaotic and stressful times. Helps remind me there's always a laugh to be had

[@Muwop762x39]

You mean Sunday morning

[@sublimelove23]

@@Muwop762x39 Saturday night on the West Coast

[@DomT0311]

Being a veteran who was there the same time as the person who wrote that thread, it hits home hard. It's 100% true. Shameful

[@thomasledwidge8538]

Did he say the name of the person? I’m trying to find it online but I cant

[@Filiolus]

@@thomasledwidge8538 Laura jedeed

[@Ekdrink]

Animals are animals even if you try to help em

[@CollaborativeDataAccounts]

I want to understand White Rage.

[@nicksonnier5895]

@@CollaborativeDataAccounts first step is play in traffic

[@Harpoquondrax]

I was having a terrible day and about to just call it quits and go to bed, now a reason to stay up.

[@derekladyga1716]

Due to the fact I thought you said some suicidal shit after "call it quits" I liked your staus then retracted said like

[@MrAnthonyshmanthony]

Sad

[@dabu3]

Harpoquondrax I hope you have a good day this Sunday 🥰

[@JDVmusicSound]

Same lol

[@asfandyaralam7180]

Take care man, God bless!

[@tastelesstouch]

Tim speaking about post 9/11 America: “It was such a beautiful thing because we had just attacked ourselves…” lol

[@Nixi8989]

Best quote of all time no doubt

[@larryjohnson3087]

"After many years of reading books and rehab I found out I was wrong" More people need to be like Tim.

[@Abitflippant]

Most are genetically predisposed dumb af

[@jacksonbrown2692]

@@Abitflippant Genetically…😂 What are you even saying

[@ShatterNWO]

and that book Tim read....The Quran.

[@colinorton4791]

Yeah, I'm happy to admit I was wrong once.

[@Abitflippant]

@@jacksonbrown2692 combine the bell curve of average intelligence with the rate of people having natural motivation in putting the effort to learn and most people are dumb af.

[@Inf3rnoBlaze]

Currently listening to this after my job from delivering pizzas. Thanks Tim for showing me your footsteps.

[@kristinradams7109]

"We laugh because it's funny, and we laugh because it's true." -- quote by somebody I wish I could remember. Thank you for this, Tim and Ben. Y'all have been my heroes for a long time. Please stay safe and stay awesome . Don't EVER change!! Love from Texas :)

[@rosharma7443]

Thats nice. Patrice o'neal once said, "The case is I talk for a living, so I should be able to say anything I want to say regardless of how you feel. What we're starting to deal with now is your opinion matters, but to be quite honest, your opinion means nothing.".

[@jamesbael6255]

They're not going to do gay sex together, stop trying to encourage it, Kristin, Ben is married.

[@MrAhuraMazda]

I think that was Zack Morris' graduation speech before they sing Did We Ever Have a Chance #kabulforever

[@MrAhuraMazda]

We'll Always Have Kabul 💔❤

[@kristinradams7109]

@@MrAhuraMazda Seriously? One of my favorite quotes ever, and it's from Saved by the Bell? LMAO!

[@todd.howard]

I like Ben being in the shadows with his eyes covered. Dehumanizing him makes the show better

[@lazylion420]

Tim is a physical amalgamation of all professional TV poker players circa 2009

[@michaeltrout9590]

Lots of high quality food from eating out 365/24/7 yet dressing like he is in witness protection

[@DailyNugget]

This is such a hilarious observation

[@charwest5892]

He is like Daniel Nagreneu mixed with Chris Moneymaker mixed with Phil Helmuth mixed with Rush Limbaugh, RIP Rush

[@PretENDOgolf]

Hahaha spot on!

[@greenpilltheory6649]

well played

[@angeliquew69]

The level of comedic genius that you are is beyond astonishing 🙃you are truly impeccable!! Your comedic skills and everything about you is just totally flawless, you're absolutely perfect!! I could be having the worst day/ week and once I hear your podcast it makes me realize that there's too much in this world to laugh about then for me to allow the miniscule b******* in my life to get me so down an out. I want to Truly Thank you for making me laugh and putting me in a good mood when I literally feel like I am at my lowest point at tyms🤪🙏🏼😊 you are Truly a force to be reckoned with Mr. Tim Dillon 💕🤗👍🏽👍🏽I got nothing but love for you baby 💕💕💕

[@JA-re8gi]

Looks like somebody's on the rag.

[@dallasskipper3895]

Dude what’s on the rag mean 😭😂 why would you say this

[@wiremotherclothmother]

@@JA-re8gi It just sounded like regular drunk talk to me

[@TalesfromtheRick]

Gotta respect the troll lol

[@angeliquew69]

@@TalesfromtheRick first of all yes I did have a couple drinks but what does that have to do with anything?? I absolutely love Tim Dillion so me being on the rag which is so funny cuz I actually am on my period lmfao and I actually did have a couple drinks 🍾💃💃 however that has nothing to do with me loving the f*** out of Tim Dillion 😊💗so enjoy your day you bunch of assholes🙃👍🏽

[@velocitor3792]

"You don't want to tell your friends from Vassar that you're helping people from Ohio; you want to tell them you're helping people in Afghanistan." Damn, that's a truth bomb. No joke.

[@vanivari359]

no it's not. I bet you aren't helping anyone and i know i don't, so maybe we should not question other peoples motives. And maybe helping people in Afghanistan has much more impact than helping someone from Ohio, which even at the wirst place has a better life than 80-90% of the people in the world? Maybe some people feel responsible for the chaos the US created in the area and therefore want to help? Not everyone is in Tims country club bragging about helping people in Afghanistan.

[@BassGoThump]

@@vanivari359 Are you here to be miserable?

[@fatguybob2778]

@@BassGoThump some people have no happiness in life, just let them have the KZbin comments section. It’s the only meaning and purpose they have; to spread negativity

[@mightymodo]

@@vanivari359 well, even those people got a reality check, now didnt they? Doing something moronic because you have good intentions doesn't magically make it less moronic. Good intentions are worthless if they arent tempered with wisdom.

[@DelandaBaudLacanian]

Where do I donate to the Afghan translators who fled to Ohio? Is there a GoFundMe?

[@thanosprime6603]

GAWD DAMN Tim Dillon. You have no idea the joy and laughter that you bring to my life !

[@Quarresttazer]

Tim Dillon is the most dangerous comedian working today. He must be protected.

[@jakehopgood7446]

his surname has been accepted and approved.

[@AntiSaffron]

When Tim throws out the 'BUT..' after acknowledging a delicate topic

[@VoteNixon]

I miss the old ad reads, but I also understand Tim securing the bag 💰

[@tarico4436]

It's almost to the point of skipping Tim's ad reads. Almost. If he keeps this up, it will be to the point. Srsly, I would never even consider buying a $35 box of cereal, but if I win the lotto, I will buy a box or seven. Just because of Tim Dillon.

[@xmidge3851]

Tim is the goat when it comes to pointing out the absurdities in life and these situations

[@hello9GAG]

You know Biden kept going on about "The Kabul airlift being the most dangerous airlift in history" and I'm thinking to myself; this man doesn't even know about the 2007 Applebees airlift with my aunt Belinda. The woman could drink, God rest her soul.

[@jackc4092]

W

[@shanerob5414]

😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@matthewrillera224]

You should use a colon instead of a semi-colon there, you illiterate.

[@nickysantoro9194]

Lol

[@cez04]

Ben said he wanted his life’s theme music to be the soundtrack to No Country For Old Men. That movie doesn’t have one lmao 😂😂😂

[@tarico4436]

If I recall correctly, there's literally no music in that movie.

[@LorenzoSabatini4prez]

Mmmmm... Yeah. If you thought about it, liiiiike for a sec, that might be _the point_ - if you catch my drift there, champ.

[@cez04]

@@LorenzoSabatini4prez I'll give him the benefit of the doubt lmao

[@LorenzoSabatini4prez]

@@cez04 It just so happens to be one of the most well known aspects of the said movie, so giving a "benefit of the doubt" - as you "state it" would be more than feasible, yes. All the best there, champ.

[@Psyplus]

@@cez04 you think ben doesn’t understand comedy when he produces one of the biggest comedy podcasts?

[@Quarresttazer]

Tim Dillonn… the body positive Sultan of satire.

[@justincase5583]

Dillon*

[@Dvncvn]

An old burger king cup filled with box wine is all he can afford

[@Xr3737]

@Matthew Burks dude's sober. you'd be smoking a pack of ciggy liggys.

[@roymakescomics]

@@Xr3737 it's crazy to me the number of fans that choose to overlook that fact, just plain ignore it, or think it's a bit.. Tim started comedy to help himself get sober, saying you want to see him get fucked up is basically saying you want him to quit comedy. It's not allowed!

[@Quarresttazer]

@@justincase5583 thanks comrade

[@SnakeHandler-g7u]

The “Mrs. Marino, you owe us money” bit made me have to pull off the road to not crash from laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe.

[@MilahanPhilosophersCorner]

Tim's charity point was perfect.

[@jacobferguson4358]

Tim dillon interrupting his own stories with stories of his high school lunches is a whole vibe. 17:10

[@unnecessaryapostrophe4047]

Shut up.

[@robertsmith8520]

The Sunday sermon is delivered!

[@StarBellySneetch]

Trying to explain Tim Dillon show to people, “he’s a comedian but actually he just rattled on about what is on his mind”…people roll their eyes.. this is a god!

[@1stblackpm]

"Ladies & Gentleman Welcome To The Tim Dillon Show" ~ Never happier to hear these words

[@bluev7427]

I’m so glad my patriotic PM the honourable brown face has the guts to chime in.

[@sunnsnowmussoorie3557]

Tim's show is the best thing on KZbin by light years. I hope this continues for decades so that in my old age I will have something to listen to again and someday just die laughing

[@JMU365]

General Miley, "You see, it was white rage that caused this whole Afghanistan debacle."

[@sillygoose4472]

Satire for now, the narrative in a week 😬

[@jon-michaelsmith8187]

Mixing in intelligent views on current topics and being hilarious. Tim is way more talented than any of the late night hosts

[@dalkurd1]

It’s 6 AM here in Stockholm, Sweden, I can’t sleep because chronic depression causes insomnia. Thank God Tim uploaded!

[@Maximustard]

Drugs and alcohol can help with that

[@dalkurd1]

@@Maximustard Haha hell no. Depression is enough, don’t want to experiment on my brain and make it worse

[@InappropriateShorts]

Which god do you serve dalkurd

[@SkatePvP10]

Cannabis

[@ibiza1290]

Wow you're so deep. Tell me more

[@mrunpopularopinion334]

The fact Tim is just fine after COVID, is all the proof I need.

[@jmtas4]

Monoclonal antibodies

[@Outplayedqt]

@@jmtas4 yeeeeep

[@raprometheus3051]

It doesn't exist.

[@ShatterNWO]

Last week you dressed like an undercover FBI agent at a water park. This Week: Undercover FbI agent at a mini golf course. Keep the kids safe.

[@ocaptainmycaptain6079]

😂

[@ShatterNWO]

@@ocaptainmycaptain6079 I did not make the original water park remark.

[@d_hurl]

Hello fellow kids- what's your handicap?

[@ShatterNWO]

@@d_hurl autism is not a handicap

[@milosuric9719]

Shooting range instructor was my first thought

[@philipebanks2125]

I hope Alex Jones is proud, this is what America needs. Thank you for your service and perspective Tim “yes or yes” Dillon. Your great bud.

[@ibiza1290]

"This young man's life is over because he trusted the United States." So just like many citizens that live in America then.

[@peppino1961]

Yeah, it’s pretty sad. It looks like governments everywhere everywhere are scum but the US is pretty good at being evil.

[@wallytangofoxtrot4721]

It’s the criminals that have highjacked the US. No longer the people’s country. Like most ‘democratic’ countries these days.

[@peppino1961]

@@jamesbael6255 I have respect and will always admire anyone who served for their country. Unfortunately they serve the needs of corrupt people in power. There is an old saying that says; when old white men have meetings about foreign policy, young people go to war. It’s really tragic.

[@collinrubert3512]

@@peppino1961 ]

[@100Mmore]

@@peppino1961 the idea that all governments are shitty is a libertarian-cuck fantasy to say 'well yes ours are a bunch satanic pedophile imperialists bu-but they're all bad!'

[@patrickwillingham8153]

Back to see the pre break up days. Rip Ben

[@lamasu]

Those bodies falling from that plane will go down as one of the iconic images in the history of the U.S. involvement in Afghanistan

[@bobsmudger3979]

Seems somewhat ironic - all started with 'Falling Man' in 2001

[@dylankhenry]

I feel sorry for Tim's cohost, the poor bugger is holding back gut-wrenching laughter for a whole hour!

[@fatguybob2778]

ISIS is like the girl at the party in the background everyone kinda remembered but wasn’t really in any of the photos and didnt have a cool story to tell.

[@leeannatweed8811]

😭

[@ShatterNWO]

but boy did she give up a lot of head

[@chetbuxton764]

@@ShatterNWO just had to give her the slightest attention, and she’d do anything

[@ShatterNWO]

@@chetbuxton764 and it was usually explosive

[@ivywoodxrecords]

But she got really fucked up on vodka early on and starting pulling knives out of the kitchen drawers

[@domja9389]

So glad Ben could finally show up to work for once.

[@nicholaschristodoulou3821]

Damn Ben! Too busy playing golf

[@cloudbloom]

Tim looks like he's about to team up with William Montgomery to sell me self-storage units rented by people who died from a fentanyl overdose

[@bobsmudger3979]

😂👍

[@josephedwarddowling5919]

I like STRUGGLING ABOVE GROUND POOL SALESMAN better!! Most undetectable gay guy ever.

[@iFish12]

Tim is shedding light on the situation playing out in Austin Texas and I wish more people would be covering this. Where are all the journalists?!

[@BettyWhite2171]

What's going on? California and Afghanistan moving in? I live in Florida, and that's what I'm afraid of.

[@jermberm2788]

Tim may be the real world equivalent of Futurama’s Bender.

[@nabtv-88]

Got the voice too

[@TheBrandonbates]

I did detainee operations in Bagram in 2009 in a facility called BTIF. It was horrible and gave me a high level of ptsd.

[@portlandsamber]

All Timmy D needs is a cute tennis skirt to complete his look.

[@blackhawk5903]

I imagined him in a pink tennis skirt 😂😂

[@elzorritoable]

💯☀️ great episode, buddy. As a veteran, thanks man.

[@Loveinthemist11]

I wanted to join the French Foreign Legion high on coke once. Tim’s life is painfully relatable. Full send.

[@sebastianbratu1502]

Me too, and I wasn't even high.

[@Pentagathusosaurus]

Did they take you?

[@sublimelove23]

I’ve considered it high and sober

[@BlekJamal]

@@sublimelove23 Both high and sober, I have never considered this.

[@JohnANimo-me4br]

Five year contract and then you have a new identity.

[@AnxietyTuesdays]

Tim has an excellent moral compass, and I love him for it.

[@ronaldyodersr]

Tim, there is no greater feeling than successfully teaching a woman how to read. I did it with my wife and she just finish her first Harry Potter books! She is thrill with Harry's adventures!

[@ShatterNWO]

Careful. Keep her away from any readings that have to do with divorce law.

[@bluev7427]

@@ShatterNWO 😆

[@barfyman-dm6zx]

Piece of advise? Point her to the cook books

[@ShatterNWO]

@@barfyman-dm6zx kama sutra

[@jamesbael6255]

You make it sound like unsuccessfully teaching a woman to read is a problem.

[@bidask123]

If I was still in college and trying to figure out my dissertation for my Doctorate, this podcast would be the ticket that leads to life on Mars.

[@MichaelTheChairman]

Tim’s about get Talibanned from KZbin if he keeps being this funny 😂

[@tarico4436]

Towlie, over at South Park, once got... towlie-banned. (Sorry. I'll let myself out.)

[@AG-gy7qq]

You mean he’s about to take over completely control?

[@MichaelTheChairman]

@@AG-gy7qq 😂

[@dinosaurizedanarmystore8629]

This is the funniest podcaster I've listened too. You superrr funyy Tim Thank you so much!

[@ryanpacitto4195]

Never clicked on a link so fast

[@georgehasleftthebuilding6621]

Me too 😌 another crazy Saturday night for me over here 🎉 Yes or yes?

[@roberttrue2700]

Woke at 5am to take a piss, saw this, and now I'm up I guess. Well worth it as always

[@TakashiAmanoOriginal]

Tim is in fact a national treasure

[@neomatrix6160]

The VOICE…of the 21st century. His recorded stand up doesn’t even scratch the surface of this man’s comedic abilities. Love seeing him riff in video podcasts with other comedians. And Whitney C and Tim need to have a reality show where they live in a house and rip each other.

[@CptCupcake5]

Good on Timothy for going two months without smoking. Proud of you baby boy.

[@williiamcutter9482]

this rant about Katrina and COVID is some of the most inspiring and truthful advice I have EVER HEARD IN MY PROCASTINATION RIDDLED LIFE....thank you Tim

[@CoolAdam247]

Tim looking like a Poker shark at a Royal Caribbean Cruise ship casino having a drunk conversation with an undercover IRS agent looking to bust Timmy for tax evasion. #LifeInTheBigCasino 🤣😅

[@lst9701]

Finally a comedian that critiques the things i do without realizing it, and makes me think of the world differently! Fresh perspectives dont come from twitter, they come from great people like Tim.

[@greencrayonsss]

Tim Dillon is a genius intelllectual philosopher king who should have a cult.

[@benGman69]

17:09 The extra information about the food was completely necessary 😄

[@tarico4436]

Tim is at his best during moments like that. Not necessarily when food is involved, but when he goes rogue in the middle of a description. I watch these several times, then use them as sleep aids. Am still laughing at some I've listened to more than five times.

[@babylonhasfallen5338]

“The Dream of Q is alive in Palm Beach”

[@sillysissyphus4877]

“The sound track to ‘No Country for Old Men’”. Nice answer Ben

[@brentbarrus9754]

Tim thinks glasses can obscure the blatant reading of his "Q" cards.

[@dimftillon]

You can see the foam collecting around his mouth, he'll have to be put down like the rest.

[@herbythechef7624]

He has to talk for an hour. Sometimes he needs to be reminded of the topics he wants to address. It's not a big deal

[@Daniel-dl3tf]

@Sarah Sanders just relax bro he’s going through a phase rn

[@penningtonlovesyou]

@Sarah Sanders honey most podcasts and KZbin videos are scripted or at least have outlines. It’s not live and is 100% edited too.

[@penningtonlovesyou]

@Sarah Sanders k

[@c.h.2392]

25 minute setup about the Afghanistan war for the punchline to be about Austin, Texas. For me this is up there with Norm's moth joke

[@SAINTzenxp]

“It’s probably because they have nothing going on in their lives that brings them any enjoyment” would be true if it weren’t for you, Miss Dillon

[@b23beatz]

44:24 this one joke just change my whole mindset I lost my job over covid as an assistant manager (20) and I feel like that was my biggest opportunity but at this point it’s up to me to step up and get back to where I was at a new job

[@blackasinc]

"Distribute iPads to women in Afghanistan to listen to the Call Her daddy podcast..." "The Soho House in Kabul is closed..." He is a fucking genius...I'm dead💀💀💀💀💀🤣😂🤣🤣

[@lifesajoke6965]

I popped three E hits or "beans" as we called them while sitting in my homeroom in 11th grade because I reeked like the weed I smoked before going into the school and a teacher said something about it. As soon as she walked over to the phone to call someone to escort me to the main office, I just threw them in my mouth crunched them up and swallowed because I knew I was gonna get searched. After they didn't find anything on me and I blamed the smell on my brother by saying he borrowed my hoodie and he must've smoked while wearing it, they told me to take it off and go to class. By third period my pupils were the size of quarters, I couldn't sit still, and I was pouring sweat. It made for a crazy day.

[@shadbakht]

That’s the fundamental difference between getting involved in Afghanistan and defending Taiwan from an imminent Communist invasion. Most Afghans didn’t want US involved, whereas most Taiwanese don’t want to be a province of the communist party’s China and would welcome aid.

[@fortusvictus8297]

Yeah, but thats hard...ain't nobody got time for that drama

[@bluev7427]

True man. It hinges on the population of the country in question. I think Taiwan is a whole other cause which deserves the defence that we can provide

[@SuperSmith]

@le jones Japan and Vietnam aren't going to like China going around claiming territories, they know they are next if one is allowed to go. Vietnam was also invaded by China just a few years after the US left.

[@SuperSmith]

@le jones yes they can realign, but that doesn't necessarily mean with the Chicoms. I think any future defensive plans they would develop would be in cooperation with other Asian nations, and without consideration of the US.

[@kidswiguns]

"This is a scene of people leaving Austin, Texas." Hilarious

[@thetaylorholt]

Why?

[@djyua9157]

Bens Hat makes him look like a male stripper whose costume is Train conductor

[@Gouthamedara]

Train conductor 🙄 Woman, you have fetish. isn’t it?

[@Cunch]

Go and ride that caboose, Ben 😂

[@johnnycomelately9400]

There's something a bit Freudian about this.

[@JustAReminder]

No Country for Old Men has almost no music in it. Intentionally or not that may be one of funniest things Ben’s ever said.

[@Uriel.Cinema]

I swear!! 😂

[@sithlorddarthbong4959]

Timothy Dillon is the comedian that we don't deserve 👏🤣

[@derekjohnson6527]

The soundtrack for No Country was literally wind blowing in an open window

[@tombystander]

Got the bowl packed and ordered dominos. AND THEN THIS POPS UP. Am i in heaven

[@tarico4436]

Going bowling, eh? I'd be too cognizant that the see eye aye might be using Timmy to get to people to go bowling while watching Tim's podcast. Back in my day, I could never watch TV while bowling, or after bowling. Just something about all those subliminals.

[@josef2012]

If it's Domino's, you ain't in heaven...

[@haidenmorgan]

Can't wait to see you live and support one of my favorite artists!

[@jamesbael6255]

Only fans is removing adult content. What this means to you, is in about 2 weeks, your favorite servers will be back at the restaurants you love. (This bit has probably been stolen 160 times, not mine originally)

[@OurBlackFriend]

Gonna be a lot of substitute teachers heading back to work...

[@kylerwin]

@@OurBlackFriend Sleeping their way into the lower middle class. Just trying to score some blow.

[@jamesbael6255]

@@kylerwin hey, when my stepsister who was a substitute teacher got stuck in the dryer, the solution didn't involve my penis. Shame upon you.

[@kylerwin]

@@jamesbael6255 Correct, it was mine. Shame on you for watching.

[@tarico4436]

Yeah, well, in October is when OnlyFans is due to enact their proposed changes. Like Johnny Cooper said, they'll move to another platform.

[@richardwaller4223]

It feels soooooo good to hear Tim's voice in my ear again while I'm at work. This man's a gentleman and a scholar, and amateurs can f*ckin suck it! 👌

[@rickgraham7641]

Who holds onto a planes landing gear? Never been in that situation but was that really the only move left to play? Can you even breathe up there? It's not like a building was on fire.

[@headfullofacid8088]

A dum dum does that’s who

[@billjohnson2081]

Everybody is crying about this guy, but really, is someone who is stupid enough to try to climb into a jet's landing gear someone we really want to mourn?

[@pootieofficalmusic]

My Boy Timmy Rocking that Nelk Merch!! 💪🏽

[@donnyjames71]

As a native Long Islander who lived through sandy, I'm dying laughing

[@Officialmryuck]

No intro. No b.s. Straight to the point.

[@bluev7427]

I for one are thankful that someone is putting these charity workers in their place. Someone needed to say it

[@CabbasCantina]

Some of the best parts of the pod is watching Ben try not to laugh. Love the show, guys.

[@ABNMPmama]

First impressions: The Twins will likely take me to a decent restaurant and show me a subpar time, only for me to wake up in a bathtub full of ice and perhaps missing an organ. Yes or yes?

[@alexmurphy5289]

Tim was my personal trainer on my last cruise, he’s a phenomenal talent

[@Hatchiko]

So not mentioning the matching shirts. Also Timmy D looking healthy. Lost weight. Yayy..

[@DocOrtmeyer]

Tim, I just went over the Alex jones episode again and just had to look you up! I love your shit man 🙌🙌🙌👌💪👌👌💯💯