3 Dumb Italy Stories

[@adityasingh6487]

Blue eats Blue sleeps Blue talks about Italy Ah, Blue's worldwide circle continues

[@AxxLAfriku]

I am thinking about dropping out of school to focus on my career as a star on KZbin. I already make a lot of money on KZbin. School bores me so much. I need more opinions and since I don't have any friends, I gotta ask you, adi

[@tartarustrommler5454]

@@AxxLAfriku Your content is bad your advertisement worse and your channel has to little subscribtions to keep you alive. Stay in school even if it's boring.

[@mawile3037]

Mister Worldwide

[@hailghidorah2536]

@@AxxLAfriku Please, stay in school. KZbin is extremely unpredictable and I'd highly advise you don’t base your life on it. Stay in school, mate.

[@maanyasingh9983]

LOOK MY BROTHER'S FAMOUS!!!

[@SR-kh6yq]

"Florence filled an entire museum with what's essentially a neighbourhood talent show" lol

[@agustinvenegas5238]

I mean when you have a couple hundred years worth of "talent show" it tends to stack up

[@matthewtrujillo7228]

Hitler: I like the view from this bridge, let's not bomb it Also Hitler: Let's ruin the view by bombing everything around the bridge.

[@GnomeChompskiGnomesYou_Bruh]

In Hitler's mind he probably thought the city would get rebuilt which it admittedly did. he also forbid the use of chemical weapon (notable because its Hitler were talking about) because during ww1 he had suffered the effects of chemical warfare and thought it horrible thus proving it seems that Hitler does care about people its just his definition of people was very... hitlerish.

[@cartoonishidealism582]

Damn it Hitler

[@leonardofranzinribeiro4220]

@@GnomeChompskiGnomesYou_Bruh Maybe If he was shot during ww1 he would've forbidden his soldiers from using Guns... Quick, get the time machine!

[@infernalsquid]

@@GnomeChompskiGnomesYou_Bruh hitler's like unless they pure aryans they ain't people

[@Ian_sothejokeworks]

@@leonardofranzinribeiro4220 Sadly, no such luck. A shell blew through a door and wounded his leg, but he was still totally fine with shelling cities. Also, he has a dog that he loved, as well as his art portfolio, stolen from him. Had that not broken his heart, he may have become a beloved dog portaitist, instead of genocidal maniac. THAT'S what you should try to fix with the time machine!

[@CommissarMitch]

Venice: "We are a city literally on the sea" Also Venice: *Burning to the ground*

[@mallory2897]

I still don’t get how they managed that one...

[@GordonSlamsay]

Imagine my shock

[@JaelinBezel]

Water water everywhere and not a fire bucket in sight

[@DemonDarakna]

I dunno if that's the reason ... but I don't live THAT far from Venice so I visited it often (one of the closest airports to me) ... But honestly - most of their buildings are stone outside and wood inside ... Maybe because of warmth (stone doesn't hold much heat inside) or sth else ... so ... any accident with a fireplace would turn the building into an oven. I know any sort of wood-burning (high-temperature fire) is now completely prohibited in Venice.

[@Great_Olaf5]

"Listen, lad. I built this republic up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other Doges said I was daft to build a city on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest city on this peninsula."

[@rockinrom1524]

napoleon squinting at pope statue: hmmmmmmmm bologna: sweating napoleon: looks fine to me bologna: we did it boys

[@theclone4800]

What I’ve learned from Blue: If something crazy happens, it’s probably happened in Italy 50 times before.

[@Dan-zc3ou]

As an italian, i can confirm.

[@lunaguy1195]

Italy must be like: "That's right I heard the story over and over again" A little SU reference for y'all

[@maximilianbeyer5642]

And the chances are good the church was involved

[@giovannidugo7594]

We also had Trump alfa0.1 aka Berlusconi

[@margheritaparacini7729]

What can I say, it's part of our charm

[@sennaka]

"The statue of Neptune...is an allegory for Pope Pius IV" ...Blue. Don't leave us hanging with THAT, you gotta do us some history on it too! NO FAIR.

[@SR-kh6yq]

It's not really a hidden message, it was the commissioner's will. Neptune ruling over the seas represents the Pope ruling over the world. What's actually interesting about that statue is the... penis anecdote around it lol. That one is a funny story.

[@comradewindowsill4253]

@@SR-kh6yq speaking of leaving us hanging...

[@SR-kh6yq]

@@comradewindowsill4253 Okay, there you go: legend has it that Giambologna, the sculptor, wanted to give the statue bigger genitals but the Church would never have allowed it (that was the time of fig leaves on statues and paintings). So he positioned Neptune’s left thumb in such a way that when the statue is viewed from a particular angle it looks like he has a big... boner. This tale would be confirmed by the presence on the square’s pavement of a tile called “pietra della vergogna” (stone of shame) that’s darker than the others. If you stand on that stone and look at the statue, you'll be able to see Giambologna’s little “prank” to the Church. It's a folk tale, but who knows if there's some truth in this story. Google "nettuno pietra della vergogna" for pics :)

[@davidegaruti2582]

@@SR-kh6yq you beat me to it ...

[@AegixDrakan]

@@SR-kh6yq ......Ok, yeah, wow, that's some hidden developer-code-easter-egg-nonsense and I LOVE IT. XD

[@andrewrockwell1282]

To Blue, Red, and everyone: Give yourself a break. Take it easy. Be well.

[@TooTall_T]

Yes! We love you all, take care of yourselves

[@SharowbladyeGaymerPorate]

I agree

[@talia3280]

This. 🙂

[@vioname]

Yeah, you guys are great and you have made last year a lot better for me

[@erikthomsen4768]

Capitalism: You dare to defy me?

[@TheShadowChesireCat]

Napoleon: "What iz zis? Popery? In moi republique?" Bologna: *rolls an 18 on a Disguise check* "No, is un santo." Napoleon: *rolls nat 1 on Sense Motive check* "C’est magnifique. Continuez."

[@RainaRamsay]

+

[@youtubeyoutube936]

Ever thought that Napoleon might have spoken french with a Corsican accent ie Italian dialect?

[@jordenhoogwout626]

@@youtubeyoutube936 you must be fun at parties

[@diegotiberi5294]

@@youtubeyoutube936 You are right, Napoleon first language was Italian (Genovese, since his parentes were from Genova, and Lingua Corsa); also since Corsica was sold to France the same year Napoleon was born they didn't actually spoke franch there when he was growing up; we know comrades at the military academy use to make fun of him becouse of his thick accent.

[@youtubeyoutube936]

Salve Absolutely. in the 1960s at school we had to speak Italian rather than our “ dialect”. Bon de

[@situationalhelpfulness3432]

blues priorities include: -eat -nap -avoid large bodies of water at all costs -DOME blue is a cat confirmed

[@Rainears129]

You forgot Cyan.

[@osamabinladenmiliciano5.538]

Eat lasagna*. Blue is byzantophile Garfield.

[@juanpablosalazar4336]

​@@Rainears129 Cyan? I have seen videos from red and blue (a lot more red because of the miscellaneous myths section), but who is and what section has cyan?

[@Rainears129]

@@juanpablosalazar4336 Cyan is Blue's fiancee. She doesn't do videos for the channel, but she'll sometimes be in the livestreams, and she was first in Blue's travel vlogs.

[@cathorion8137]

@@Rainears129 Are there any other people? I feel like i have heard another color or two mentioned but i don't know where to find them

[@wesleypatterson2989]

Napoleon: "Hey guys, I dont like the Pope, take down that statue of some old Pope." Bologna: *puts Pope statue in a disguise* What Pope statue? Napoleon: "Understandable, have a nice day."

[@willmako5009]

Now I have the image of the Pope's statue with those fake glasses with a moustache and a fake nose xD

[@corvusalbus7276]

Waves hand: "This isn't the Pope statue you're looking for."

[@AnarchicEowyn]

They rolled a Nat20 there, didn't they?

[@woodfur00]

"Is that the Pope?" "Of course not! As you can see he is wearing this hat!" "Of course, my mistake."

[@lukasperuzovic1429]

@@AnarchicEowyn and Napoleon rolled a 1 both times, we had to confirm that critt fail.

[@LuckyTheReviewer]

So the statue surviving was only because Napoleon rolled a Nat 1 on his Insight check. Neat.

[@thebronzedragon1]

DM - "Napoleon sees your thinly disguised statue" Player - "Oh that's not the pope it's.... Our patron Saint?" DM - "Roll deception" Player - *Nat twenty* DM - "Napoleon: Seems legit"

[@ariannacusmano9091]

In my city there is a place that wasn't sack by Napoleon because the statue wern't really made of marble but in hollow plaster. Since he wasn't convinced he stabed one just to be sure.

[@goldenguardian8753]

Ah

[@nathanmartyn2403]

@@ariannacusmano9091 cool

[@Survivor-od1xy]

I would say history but that works.

[@best_of_ant]

" So, here's what we're gonna do. I'm going to tell you some fun dumb stories about Italy, we're gonna have a grand old time and then I'm going to take a week long nap. Sound good? Great, let's do some low effort history." - Blue's intro quote for today 2021

[@stuarthutzler6670]

That's Blue's intro quote for today... Hey yay yay yay yay! That's Blue's intro quote for today.

[@banshee46]

I want this quote to become the historical reference for the introduction to 2021 in history books. I can genuinely think of no better statement to describe these introduction days of this year.

[@nxterminator5796]

It worked.

[@ethannilsson9638]

"Napoleon gives. He usually gives cannonballs. At speed."

[@onyx747]

best quotes

[@Great_Olaf5]

This is the line I rewatched half of the hijinks series for.

[@VarangianGuard13]

That one absolutely slee me!

[@dayoade9325]

I liked to make this 666 likes 👍🏾

[@itscznben8728]

Timestamp?

[@bookishclara2653]

Blue: “Venice was consistently on fire!” Me: Well, at least they never needed to look far for water!

[@cortneylane200]

Am I the only person that would actually listen to Blue ranting about bridges? Like I was sad when he said he cut it

[@Sol-cx8dw]

Honestly, yes! I wouldn't mind entire podcast ranting about italian bridges

[@D0cSwiss]

Yeah, that sounds like it'd be great for him. He can get it all off his chest and I wouldn't even care if it was just unscripted rambling. Just let him have at it.

[@tommyscott8511]

Hearing the OSP guys talk about anything is enjoyable

[@sethbennett617]

I wasnt. Im happy he didnt embarass himself. You only have to glance at the first bridge to see exactly why it didnt make the cut. Its a triple span bridge. No one in their right mind tried to make a fully permanent triple span bridge, it would just get washed away when the river began to swell. The second bridge shown is a single span bridge, fit for purpose. Yeah the first bridge looks better. But function beats beauty.

[@cortneylane200]

@@Sol-cx8dw LET OUR BOY TALK ABOUT ITALIAN BRIDGES

[@jasonblalock4429]

Now I have this mental image of Blue playing Assassin's Creed 2 and sobbing into a Stouffer's lasagna.

[@kaitlyn5324]

Don’t we all do this lmfao?

[@riccardolonghi3466]

That's not Stouffer's lasagna man, that's just how we do it here in Bologna. Let's stop associating Italian cuisine with subpar American food brand that has nothing to do with our traditions, shall we?

[@TheIntimateAvenger]

@@riccardolonghi3466 That was the joke. The original comment is implying that any lasagna Blue could find at home would be inferior to what he actually wants.

[@riccardolonghi3466]

@@TheIntimateAvenger didn't see that joke but I'm glad you explained it to me

[@deiansalazar140]

Don't hurt my heart like that lol

[@gabrielrussell5531]

It's ironic that your lower-effort history-tales are your more popular videos.

[@OverlySarcasticProductions]

I try not to think too carefully about the implications that has for my career. -B

[@thecatladytm7172]

Big oof

[@acebalistic1358]

@@OverlySarcasticProductions hey blue, just wanted to say you're awesome, alright have a nice day

[@twoscarabsintheswarm9055]

@@OverlySarcasticProductions f

[@Iris-zq6sb]

@@OverlySarcasticProductions ... Less work more popularity more historical shitposts?

[@awbeans982]

Bologna: this is not the pope you are looking for. Napoleon: this is not the the pope we're looking for. move along, move along.

[@lw401]

Blue: takes “break” Also Blue: puts out incredibly entertaining video

[@marcusalm7350]

Napoleon gives, usually he is giving cannonballs, at speed. Is my new second favorite Blue quote, second only to "Alexander the plot armor"

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

Thank you, Blue. Now all I have to do is _go to every restaurant in Bologna, order the lasagna, and hope I find the one you're talking about before the dairy-induced heart attacks put me in a cheese coma._

[@OverlySarcasticProductions]

The sacrifices we make for science. -B

[@margheritaparacini7729]

Just find a Bolognese grandma

[@davidblair9877]

@@margheritaparacini7729 and don’t tell her you’re comparing her food to anyone else’s.

[@margheritaparacini7729]

@@davidblair9877 Dude, despite playing A Hat in Time, I don't have a death wish

[@davidblair9877]

@@margheritaparacini7729 you know the Italian courts would find the murder justified, too.

[@nintendogeek189]

Blue, you can’t just tell us about a wonderful lasagna place in Bologna and then *not* tell us where it is... Please?

[@margheritaparacini7729]

Look, in my 21 years of experience being italian EVERY place in a town is a wonderful place to eat the town's signature dish

[@Freekymoho]

I've only had bad food in Italy a single time, so chances are basically any lasagna place you dine at is gonna be wonderful

[@gabrielrussell5531]

@@margheritaparacini7729 Wait; Bologna's signature dish isn't baloney?

[@bradivany7008]

@@gabrielrussell5531 it's baloney lasagna obvs lasogna

[@rowdyriolu1]

@@bradivany7008 Pronounced "lasoney."

[@timothyheimbach3260]

I love that Venice had fire problems. They literally built a city on water and it still constantly caught fire

[@Emily-ye1rj]

I'd argue that it constantly caught fire BECAUSE they had to build it on water

[@bonogiamboni4830]

This is probably the first time i've heard a non-italian pronounce bologna the right way (boloña) instead of whatever the fuck boloney is. Thank you.

[@SadaEKE]

Most of Turks usually nail it since we write it phonetically as Bolonya.

[@idothingssometimes8606]

Yeah same and as someone who lives there it was extremely weird since I hear it almost daily

[@SadaEKE]

@@idothingssometimes8606 do you live in Turkey and find it weird that Turks nail the pronunciation or do you live in Bologna and find it weird that most foreigners can't pronounce it?

[@idothingssometimes8606]

@@SadaEKE I live in Bologna and find it weird that most foreigners have an hard time pronouncing Italian words in general, like as an example in the school I got to we study Geography in English and our teacher is American so when she calls our names my classmates and I usually have a blast

[@HighTides443]

Its an American lunch meat that according to Wikipedia was supposed to mimic Mortadella, and it’s spelled the same as Bologna, I’m not entirely sure why the inventor of said lunch meat decided to spell it that way but here we are, the other name for said lunch meat is baloney

[@xessenceofinsanityx]

But what if we wanted to hear you ranting about how Andrea Palladio codified the genre of neoclassicism?

[@gattiam7006]

Absolutely! It would be wonderful!!!!

[@Abshir1it1is]

Really underestimating the nerdery of his audience there, honestly.

[@festethephule7553]

@@Abshir1it1is Cody of Alternate History Hub did the exact same thing when he consciously avoided going in depth on the economic complexities of the Indian fabrics industry in his video on if the British never colonized India.

[@mawile3037]

I was like " do it anyway "

[@imjustdandy9799]

If he starts in on Neoclassicism then he might talk about the White Marmorean Flock!

[@TheIvoryDingo]

If Blue wasn't in a relationship I would've thought he was Dome-sexual.

[@Alusnovalotus]

“Duomo-sexual”

[@MrElionor]

@@Alusnovalotus You mean to tell me his partner is NOT a dome?

[@kjj26k]

@@MrElionor I guess the way Blue thinks about it is that she has a couple'a domes.

[@BlackShadowUchiha]

I thought his partner was just a human personification of Venice

[@lordoftheducks332]

Plot twist: cyan is secretly a dome Have we ever seen her? Is there evidence that she ISN’T a dome?

[@baneberry3639]

Blue is the leader of the Italy fandom.

[@cerebrummaximus3762]

He definitely should be

[@margheritaparacini7729]

Nay, every single Italian is the leader of Italy fandom Grandmas are the leaders of the cuisine part

[@AvatarWindy]

HAHAHHAHAHA!!!! The Italy fandom..... As of now, thats a thing and Blue is in charge 😂

[@Jerry694111]

​@@margheritaparacini7729 Italians haven't been much of italy fans larely.

[@davidegaruti2582]

@@Jerry694111 how can i be mad at somenthing i 100% agree with

[@MagillanicaLouM]

"while I'm not a university professor, I AM overworked" A tale as old as time, innit

[@paulwagner688]

I love it how Blue can say one word--"Dome"--and have it mean so much to us because we all know about domes now.

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

Venice is looking wetter than Kamino these days.

[@ferrjuan]

Hello there!

[@hellocentral5551]

Always good to see friend of the channel Obi-Wan Kenobi commenting.

[@kaitlyn5324]

Hello, General Kenobi.

[@Bacteriophagebs]

The pandemic has been good for the city. Not the _people,_ necessarily, but for the actual physical city. Prior to 2020, the constant influx of huge cruise ships was causing the city to sink much faster than usual due to the vibrations of their huge engines. I'm sure the problem will be completely fixed by the time the tourism industry recovers.

[@xthelucasxx]

@@Bacteriophagebs hahahahahahha problem fixed in venice hahahahah good joke

[@jordanleighton6893]

“But Mussolini boofed it thanks to....Mussolini” Lost my shit lmao

[@datmanydocris]

To be fair, it does seem to be a running theme that historical dictators worst enemies always seem to be themselves. Perfect example was Vladimir Lenin putting the guy he didn’t want having any power in charge of hiring people so he filled the entire command structure with people loyal to him and used that to takeover.

[@jordanleighton6893]

@@datmanydocris bc dictators usual do it for themselves, not the country. This, unsurprisingly, isn’t good for the country and leads to their (eventual) downfall

[@nni9310]

@Niek Vels I thought it was by months, so that not long after the Nazis invasion, they were stopped by the terrible Russian/East European winter.

[@nni9310]

@Niek Vels Thank you for your detailed response.

[@thatmarchingarrow]

Just about the only good thing Mussolini ever did was messing up Mussolini's plans and ambitions.

[@mr.triplethreat2743]

Thank you online school for letting me get early to an OSP video

[@nutmegsoup54]

Lol same

[@dracodeanglicus3857]

Early squaaaaaaaaaaaad~

[@NamebeDale_592]

Nice

[@sirpence__]

Ikr it’s great

[@shaunlevin5081]

I'm still in school. Just lying down in my bed.

[@houseofnerd777]

"Napoleon gives. Usually he is giving cannon balls. At speed." That one straight up broke me, thank you Blue I needed that laugh.

[@callummorris2838]

I laughed far too hard at “Napoleon gives. Usually he is giving cannonballs. At speed!” OMG Blue, stop it with the jokes or you’ll have deaths on your hands from laughter! 😂😂😂

[@abthedragon4921]

"Napoleon gives. Usually he is giving cannonballs, AT SPEEDS." 😆 Good one

[@jamesharding3459]

Ah, the junior NCO turned dictator who then proceeded to conquer most of Europe and failed to invade Russia. Remind you of anyone?

[@luthientinuviel3883]

I cracked up

[@F22onblockland]

'a whiff of grapeshot'

[@jamesharding3459]

@@F22onblockland Your finest grape shot, please. **A moment later** I wanted booze, not ordnance!

[@sebastianpijov8708]

Whatever he gives, he must also receive. RIP Lannes, Besserire, and Berthier.

[@user-qo1hy8dq3f]

Perfect compromise. If you can't take a trip, just talk about how great that trip would have been. great video.

[@evilotto9200]

Blue's Vacation: What If...? _look out marvel_

[@mini3mayhem]

I petition Blue to talk about that cut script on the next OSP Podcast because I’m really really interested

[@epsreborn9718]

Blue in other videos: “Red, you’re mispronouncing bolge!!” Also Blue: ***v e m b i s***

[@GamesAndWhales]

“Napoleon gives. Usually he’s giving cannonballs! *At speed* “ Your history memes are on point today Blue.

[@Kiwi-bm2wf]

"And while I'm not a university professor, I am overworked" Blue is my relatable spirit animal

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

Don't feel too bad about accidently bringing up 2 dictators in a single video Blue, fascism has a tendency to sneak up on you. Case in point: Anakin Skywalker.

[@DavidbarZeus1]

Sorry, but where is the fascism in the Galactic Empire? I see nothing in the Empire that makes it fascist

[@memer7987]

@@DavidbarZeus1 Emperor Palpatine did nothing wrong

[@DavidbarZeus1]

@@memer7987 Oh, he did plenty wrong, just nothing fascist ... I think

[@nicodemoboccia5090]

@@DavidbarZeus1 have you ever noticed how all the empire's generals are human?

[@DavidbarZeus1]

@@nicodemoboccia5090 That makes it racist, not fascist

[@raptorjesues1445]

i guess it is impossible to talk about dumb stuff we italians did and skip over fascism

[@jemolk8945]

I mean, fascism _is_ one of the dumber things humans can do. Not sure if the fact that Italy's far from alone in making that mistake should make you feel better or worse.

[@comradewindowsill4253]

eheheh better than the downhill slope that is russian history... I still maintain that we were doomed ever since we had a ruler affectionately nicknamed “the Terrible”

[@erraticonteuse]

Look on the bright side: at least your fascism mainly gets categorized as dumb and mostly only evil-adjacent. Meanwhile Germans are *still* the go-to, low-effort stock villains for their fascism. Even us German-Americans mostly avoid showing too much interest in our heritage, while Italian-Americans still have vibrant ethnic enclaves in several major cities. I lived in Boston's North End for a few years and got to enjoy so many great restaurants, fresh cannoli and gelato whenever I wanted, frequent saint's day festivals, and at least one bar that only ever had soccer on TV. German-Americans used to have neighborhoods and even whole towns like that, but not anymore.

[@quintonkirk285]

Like how Italy was on hitlers side?

[@bleedingmasque.6193]

@@erraticonteuse The Nazis really did you a disservice.

[@domhnallobraonain6745]

“Usually he’s giving cannon balls..... at speed.....” this is why I love this channel

[@unternehme]

As a Bologna-born and raised, I know this story of the statue since childhood, glad somebody is telling it to a wider audience in English (although the lasagna picture is definitely not from Bologna, where lasagna-pasta is green :) )

[@fryreviews693]

Im sorry lasagna-pasta is green?

[@vitralights]

@@fryreviews693 Yep, and it's exceedingly tasty too. Seriously, best lasagna.

[@BJGvideos]

@@vitralights is it made with spinach then?

[@vitralights]

@@BJGvideos Spinach is often used, although pasta verde can also be made with nettle or swiss chard. :)

[@BJGvideos]

@@vitralights Awesome

[@Aurea0522]

*Blue couldn't go to actual Italy because Covid so he took us all on a field trip through Historical Italy*

[@sriramramesh5318]

*laughs in plague*

[@Kitsune1989]

Works for me. I can't afford to go to Italy anyway so I'll take Blue's historical field trip and his epic sense of humor

[@Natibe_]

“And I somehow veered off into fascism twice” Yup. No idea how that happened. Definitely not on anyone’s mind right now. No, sir.

[@chrisforsyth8323]

Totally not happening to literally everyone, right now.

[@TheWRYYYYYYY]

Makes for another great clip for those "Blue out of context" compilations, though!

[@agustinvenegas5238]

*violently ignores current state of politics*

[@theEndermanMGS]

Being fair, even ignoring the events of January 6 that have absolutely no parallels to anything in Italian history (*chough* March on Rome *cough*), fascism happening was kind of an important part of modern Italian history. I would be more surprised if it wasn’t brought up in a discussion of Italy’s recent history.

[@Bunny_Goddess]

Anyone else want to hear Blue rant about the time Palladio almost won the design competition or is it just me

[@amiscellaneoushuman3516]

No, it is not just you

[@nutmegsoup54]

Lol I do too

[@det.bullock4461]

Same.

[@FlyingTeaRex]

🙋🏼‍♀️

[@nritsch]

Blue: “all historic favorites have flaws” Me, the Aztec simp: “I can see nothing wrong”

[@Whosaskin]

PYRAMIDS ON WATER. Honestly, The Azteks don't get enough credit.

[@HipFire1]

the virgin Aztecs Vs the Chad Incas

[@tylerdurden3722]

The bushmen didn't have flaws😐

[@Shark_Rock]

Me the Byzantium

[@arizonagreenbee]

I'm a Slavic simp tbh

[@Kei-Sarah]

- puts a pile of pillows, blankets and snacks down around OSP (cause I’m including Cyan, Cleo and the whole community) -Okay guys get comfy it’s time for a nap I made cookies and hot chocolate.

[@Emily-ye1rj]

Can it be in the Venice slumber party room? 🥰

[@Eramiserasmus]

Blue has been stressed. Let's give him a break. Like the time Rome took a break after the Goths visited.

[@gabriela2377]

Is he seriously just gonna brush over the whole 'Neptune's bare ass is an allegory to Pope Pius IV' thing?

[@JukeboxTheGhoul]

I mean. Most statues of ancient gods had to be allegories, or you'd be accused of being a pagan. Fun fact:statues of Ganymede and Jupiter were associated with ascended monarchs/dukes when they weren't being coded as gay love. The Statue Of David is a allegory for Florence sizing itself up against its enemies and so on and so on.

[@duckbytetoast]

@@JukeboxTheGhoul dont romantezise it as 'gay love', it was a religious justification for ephebophilia (men loving young boys).

[@arandomcomment1092]

@@duckbytetoast They didn't. They just described what artists did hundreds of years ago, which was using Ganymede to represent gay love. They didn't care about age of consent then, and the story of Ganymede was essentially one of the most famous and few stories that artists thought they could use for it.

[@Rick586]

@@JukeboxTheGhoul David was an ancient king, not a deity.

[@nicolanobili2113]

@@JukeboxTheGhoul Well, David was not a pagan god, he is a Biblical character...

[@abthedragon4921]

For "low effort History" this is freaking hilarious.

[@derekharris5625]

Plays assassins creed2 Everyone: Oh boy can't wait to kill people. Blue: Look at that dome!

[@Natilra]

I thought that was the only reason for playing those games, to look at the pretty architecture Oops, I've been doing that wrong

[@DemonDarakna]

you know ... I'm mostly with blue on that one. AC is good at sth and that is doing detailed exploration of their places. I ditched the tour guide in Florence (he was only interested in telling us about wine) ... and was also "lost in Rome with my family" ... in both cases I was like: why is this spot familiar to me? Why do I know where to go? Reason: coz AC. I had my own tour in Florence (realized I know the place when we walked over Ponte Vecchio). And my mother didn't know how to get us back to the hostel when we came upon Castel Sant'Angelo. And I got a flashback. Like Blue stated about AC games: I know what I'm about.

[@Captain.Mystic]

"This mission requires only the best pilots, and youre it." "Pardon me fuhrer but why exactly do you need me to go on bombing mission?" "well you see theres this bridge..."

[@LolaTomboy]

Venise caught multiple time on fire !? My dudes, you have water everywhere. How the fuck.

[@Hyperversum3]

Well, lots of houses, lots of wood, lack of buckets, lack of space between buildings (so if one takes fire all those 2/3 friends it has around are in for a fire of their own) and the fact that stopping huge blazing fires several meters high with just a bucket it's kinda problematic, even more when, again, they are all so close together that it's already a result if you don't die before. Edit: Funnily enough, it's in Venice that the famous theater "La Fenice" (The Phoenix) is located. The name isn't they random, it was burned to the ground several times, one appears to be even intentional.

[@giob5883]

It may surprise you but water doesn't have an AoE

[@quintonkirk285]

What happens when you back hitler in ww2

[@mozarteanchaos]

@@quintonkirk285 ...time-travelling punishment?

[@laraa739]

@@francomarrongrigio Wait are you also from Viareggio or does it just happen a lot?

[@haddock434]

Last time I was this early the Gauls were right outside Rome.

[@dracodeanglicus3857]

Last time I was this early the Gauls sacked Rome.

[@haddock434]

@@dracodeanglicus3857 whoops

[@GraveRobbinJake]

**WHOO! LOW EFFORT HISTORY!!!** my favorite kind of history.

[@zoinomiko]

"And yet: here I am. Conspicuously NOT in Italy." My dude I have never felt you more.

[@mr.boomguy]

The fact that Italy, Greece and all north of the mediterraneum are "low effort" for Blue, kindof shows how much of a expert he has become about the place over the years.

[@asbestosfish_]

Blue can stop whenever he wants, he can stop _whenever he wants_

[@DrORRB-qm7fl]

He’s not addicted, _you are!_

[@soldierofashadow4201]

@@DrORRB-qm7fl you say that like you aren't

[@DrORRB-qm7fl]

@@soldierofashadow4201 I mean... you aren’t wrong.

[@AegixDrakan]

He just doesn't WANT to stop, and who can blame him? :P

[@Oculunus]

Blue's Dumb Stories are more educational than most textbooks and still funny.

[@dedicatedtransportation4130]

Oh don't worry blue my historical fave is puritan New England. And I'm very certain they'd never do anything incredibly fucked up and a violation of basic human rights in favor of building their xenophobic theistic I'm just gonna stop talking.

[@jmurray1110]

yeah after all Ireland doesn't exist outside of Gaelic mythology

[@InquisitorThomas]

I recommend checking out Atun-Shei Films, he’s informative, funny, and has great production values.

[@deanmiller6463]

@@InquisitorThomas the witchfinder general

[@danaroth598]

Oh god I know exactly how you feel. It's not my absolute favorite part of colonial history, but it's up there, and wow is it a time for faves who are highkey problematic. Roger Williams is the king of 'he's right and he should say it, but also I am so thankful to not be within multiple centuries of this guy'.

[@NewGuy2534]

The flagellants in these comments would make the medieval counterparts say “ok, I’ve think you’ve punished yourself enough.”

[@veldrensavoth7119]

Nobody: BLUE: and this is where I would put photos of me on my vacation in Italy IF I HAD ONE!!!!!

[@weakrob]

Very nice. Quick note though. Caesar died at 55, and it's practical to assume he would have many statues commissioned, as there are many statues of him. At 5:00 , one of those statues looks particularly like a balding 40year old, an age Caesar passed. Caeser was not murdered young.

[@joeevans5770]

You know everyone else steals from the British museums gift shop

[@ravenpotter3]

I bought a book about anime from that gift shop in like 2014 or something

[@dubspool]

I mean it’s only fair

[@thakillman7]

You mean they just stumbled upon the gifts in the gift shops. "These gifts belong to the world!"

[@quintonkirk285]

Is stealing from a thief theft?

[@nutmegsoup54]

And then Mussolini's plan failed because of, well, Mussolini Lol

[@rincewindtwoflower3989]

Il Duche? More like ill douche!

[@1krani]

Funny how that happens to ideologues, especially when they're put in charge.

[@Badger_Nerd]

Best summary of fascism I ever heard

[@comradewindowsill4253]

can also be said for both hitler and stalin funnily enough. hitler thought he was a good general, stalin was too scary for his own good.

[@mathieuleader8601]

My maternal grandfather saw Mussolini and his mistress Claretta Petacci hang from the roof off the Esso gas station after being gunned down by Partisans.

[@Talonistrying]

Italian-American here, and since I grew up on stories from my relatives, the first thing I thought when I saw this title was "oh god what did they do this time."

[@daedalus4748]

ROTFLMAO

[@alecchristiaen4856]

"Brunalesci rediscovering classic architecture out of spite" Yes, Brunalesci, let the hate flow through you.

[@jooree7696]

You know, i go to Italy everyday Because i am italian

[@festethephule7553]

No you don't. You can't go to a place without coming from a different place, and so you cannot go to Italy without having left Italy.

[@justadampeterjohnsonfan9446]

oMg SaMe! No davvero,è bello vedere altri italiani😊

[@syph3r_63]

*Gasp!* Okay, no one tell Blue about this.

[@Fireclave]

"All be it, a little surprised I veered onto facism twice..." *looks left* *looks right* Yeeeahhh...weird....

[@GooTheMighty]

“Good places you ate years ago” is always the TOP priority on vacation. I want to go back to Norakuro Cafe in Sumida. GREAT coffee.

[@lachlansmith2361]

When I saw '3 dumb Italy stories' I felt for sure that it would include the bucket war between Bologna and Modena.

[@daedalus4748]

You can't say something like that without context

[@tuluppampam]

@@daedalus4748 during the all Guelph and Ghibelline thing, Modena and Bologna didn't like each other (oh, poor things) Some guy in Bologna sold castles that shouldn't be sold to Modena Bologna didn't like that Modena didn't like Bolognese opposition to their lawful ownership of castles Modena utterly destroyed Bologna's army and sieged the city After this small war, all that changed is that Modena owns Bologna's well bucket, something you can still see if you vista Modena

[@daedalus4748]

@@tuluppampam Thanks

[@wjzav1971]

@@tuluppampam Sometimes you gotta take joy even from the small things in life.

[@hfar_in_the_sky]

"What gives? Napoleon gives! Usually he is giving canon balls. At speed." *boom* This cracked me up! XD

[@R4yj4ck]

I know it may be a little weird, but sometimes I imagine Blue doing research like an excited dog. "You wanna see a ... dooooome? You wanna see the dome? Yes you do!"

[@RainaRamsay]

I feel like comparing this audience to dogs is INCREDIBLY accurate

[@R4yj4ck]

@@RainaRamsay I worded it pretty poorly, but I meant Blue. Him seeing something about domes in his research is like a dog hearing the word “walk”

[@deiansalazar140]

@@R4yj4ck Works both ways though 😅

[@Natilra]

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back to writing the Venetian Republic more angry letters about how they built the wrong bridge" >I die of laughter

[@limerence8365]

I think we can all agree that Blue should never cut anything and just talk about whatever he wants and we'll all be very entertained!

[@rubyandjade7879]

I really appreciate you and Red trying to be an outlet while everyone is stuck in a less than ideal situation. I hope things get better and you get to have that vacation in Italy.

[@ObsessiveReaderLuv]

god that "cannonballs -- at speed" delivery was so perfect

[@JoannaPiancastelli]

"A little surprised I somehow veered onto facism twice" *checks the news* I'm not sure that's particularly a surprise...

[@quintonkirk285]

It's not, Italy backed hitler in ww2.

[@mozarteanchaos]

@@quintonkirk285 yeah, but i don't think that's what OP was referencing. it's not exactly news

[@pocketmonster1088]

Blue: Vembis Ghiacio: ITS VENEZIA YOU UNCULTURED SWINE

[@cashleonard7176]

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU TAKE A LEAF OUT OF A BOOK

[@raptorcell6633]

Fine, Vembisia, happy?

[@sanjeethmahendrakar]

*gasps* is that a JoJo's reference?

[@gangrenousgandalf2102]

Full Rant: You know Paris, France? In English, it's pronounced "Paris" but everyone else pronounces it without the "s" sound, like the French do. But with Venezia, everyone pronouces it the English way: "Venice". Like The Merchant of Venice or Death in Venice. WHY, THOUGH!? WHY ISN'T THE TITLE DEATH IN VENEZIA!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? IT TAKES PLACE IN ITALY, SO USE THE ITALIAN WORD, DAMMIT! THAT SHIT PISSES ME OFF! BUNCH OF DUMBASSES!

[@lonewolf1625]

@@gangrenousgandalf2102 Ghiaccio would be the perfect guy from Veneto if he also said some blasphemous insults.

[@fruitcakemtdew]

You know I should probably be working at online school right now but learning a weirdly in depth amount about Venetian architecture sounds much more fun than THAT

[@HanyouDante]

Blue; you, Red, and the others are one of the best channels on KZbin. Every time I see a new video released from you guys I watch it immediately and have a blast doing so! Thank you for all your hard work, and I hope you all have a great new year!

[@anthonyn.7379]

I just love it when he talks about Italy. Although, I would also be fascinated if he talked more about southern Italy. I’m sure there’s some interesting history down there that Blue would love as equally (or at least close to equally) as that in the north.

[@Blackrain7070]

I really feel the "I was planning on enjoying time away from everything after school but now life is in the shitter" struggle

[@Lord_Inquisitor_William7391]

The architecture i love so much Exhibit A: *D O M E* angels singing

[@MrRafalel]

As an Italian I can say: "Only 3??!?!"

[@dagowolfrider2291]

Only three and mainstream...

[@margheritaparacini7729]

Video is short and not everyone can talk as fast as we do (maybe bar Red), that said, 'sera cumpa'

[@dagowolfrider2291]

@@margheritaparacini7729 'Sera! (Evening literally, an abbreviation for good evening. For those who don't speak Italian. Cumpa' stands for compagno which means mate, colleague.)

[@Daughterofminerva]

Eeh, we should understand him : he only had one month. Ciao ragazzi comunque.

[@justadampeterjohnsonfan9446]

Ikr

[@Laydralae_Joy]

you say you dont want to rant about it, but honestly I would watch any video on any topic you put out. and i imagine im not alone there. Red and Blue both make such amazing videos, your voices are mezmerizing, your knowledge chefs kiss, and im like a puppy. i dont necessarily know what you're talking about that has you so excited, but you're excited so im excited!

[@snackleggg7802]

"As we've already taken a look at the shiny architecture I love so much. Exhibit a: d o m e" That has to be my favourite line

[@kaylee5797]

"Some how I veered onto fascism" quote Blue and the US Capitol

[@PakWaluigi742]

The Republic of Venice: soooo now that you have conquered Constatinople.....wanna be friends Ottoman's?

[@dracodeanglicus3857]

Friendship ended with *_BYZANTIUM_* now *_OTTOMANS_* is my new friend

[@notzaran5977]

@@dracodeanglicus3857 Lol.

[@marcello7781]

If only that friendship lasted longer, the Parthenon would have never been used to stock weapons and gunpowder and would have never been destroyed.

[@bazzfromthebackground3696]

"Let's do some low-effort history." So textbook history, then?

[@0903tgrace]

Blue, y’all’s channel has done nothing but bring me brightness during this whole mess of a year. Thanks for everything. I hope you get some time to yourself.

[@strcmdrbookwyrm]

Ah Blue, it's great to see you gush about history and poke fun at all the things everyone idolizes. I hope you have a good "staybatical" and can get the rest you need to prepare for the coming year. I'll be looking forward to more great content as I struggle through the school year. Thanks a ton!

[@nox9856]

"He was giving cannonballs, at speed." Imao!

[@TheTrainmobile]

7:32 I am always in the mood for The "British" Museum shade.😈

[@izzy1221]

Blue is physically doing videos for us but mentally he is in Italy on vacation.

[@ArawnNox]

You guys always light my day up as you cover both subjects I love: History and Mythology.

[@angelictreble]

Hi Blue, Happy New Year! Thanks for the hard work you do, and I'm going to pre-emptively thank you again to be nice to yourself and take a break. we will not crumble like a badly constructed dome if we don't get content every week, the people come first! I'm having a really hard time creatively this past year myself, and hearing you talk about how it's hard for you has helped me. So please take a step back into a forest, or something, with no people, and feel better soon