3 HIDDEN Red Flags To Look Out For When Dating Men

[@LoveByDesign]

Hey everyone hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 3 Steps to Heal Yourself after a Toxic Relationship Ends (Warning: Spots are limited) 🗒 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> www.healyourheart.school/webinar 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> www.healyourheart.school/guide 💕 Apply For Heal Your Heart School Here! www.healyourheart.school/call

[@wendydaniel1110]

"Unearned closeness". Follow your gut..If it feels uncomfortable, it is❤

[@ScottH7651]

How they handle conflict in every day events is not the same as how they handle conflict in a romantic setting, completely different. A good red flag to look for is to understand how their last few relationships ended. If you find out that they ended most/all of their relationships, you can pretty much expect them to end the relationship with you too at some point.. (I found that out the hard way.) On one first date, she told me that the guys only last 3-4 months and that she usually ends them. Guess how long I lasted. (hint: it was at the lower end of that range) And if they speak of their exes with contempt, not a good sign.

[@LoveByDesign]

I didn't say it was the same - but it's all data that we need to collect and acknowledge about that person. Also, expecting them to repeat the same patterns again isn't a foolproof way of predicting the future. (Hint: the future can't be predicted)

[@ceejay9663]

It can be, but it's not certain. My father, for example, handled both types identically: Everyone else is the problem. 🤣🤣 If I had a woman tell me she routinely failed to get beyond 3-4 months, I'd show her my elbows and the bottoms of my shoes THAT NIGHT. She's a self-sabotaging kook.

[@isiart5822]

Dear Scott, I had a wounded Child and unprocessed Trauma, was highly anxious und rushed in Relationships. I ended nearly every relationship after 3 to 4 months. These exes were liars, thiefs, people who put me under pressure, emotionally unavailable, ... I didn't know my Worth...i was always giving and very naive. Nothing is Black and White. After some healing...i would never let such people in my life. So remember sometimes the reasons for ending relationships soon is valid.

[@Lihoradka-s6v]

Thank you, I needed that. I am having feelings towards the unavailable person you described - and gosh what a torture that is. I fully understand this is a pattern from my childhood, down to facial expressions even. And though I understand logically it's a trap, emotionally I am drawn to them like crazy. It's astonishing how the attitude of caregivers in childhood may affect an adult's life.😢

[@CB19087]

I have generally avoided people for 18yrs. I spent a lot of that time chasing after unavailable people which felt safer than what I'm feeling now. There is a real potential for a proper relationship with someone who appears available and I'm absolutely terrified. I do feel better when we talk or spend time together though. But yes, slowing down and not acting from fear is helping, although the fear of abandonment is very strong and takes my breath away. I know it takes about 4 months to see someones true colours and I want to do old school courting before becoming intimate

[@rachelteeuws1241]

Wow, didn’t know about the anxiety feeling. Felt that way with a guy I recently had several dates with… thank you for that information… and he was emotionally unavailable too.

[@LoveByDesign]

I’m glad that helped you 🙏

[@abenadickson1660]

Number two is sooooo important. Sometimes you don’t realize it till it’s too late down the line. Lesson learned.

[@elisegray6962]

If only I've seen this video two months ago... I felt a bit attachment and compassion for someone and according to this video, she was very much emotionally unavailable and never valued me. In other words, I gave her all the attention she needed and she was pushing me away when I wanted to be part of her life. But I take this experience as a great lesson. And always remember... Rejection is divine protection. I've been protected from a massive future heartbreak 💔

[@dinastefaniedoldt4057]

It sounds all great but sometimes wonder if there are actually guys out there who are emotionally grown up..

[@LoveByDesign]

There are, but they may be the minority 😌

[@dotendit]

​@@LoveByDesignThey are absolutely the minority. I find your videos great but I was wondering if we don't ask the impossible from them😅. Women have that tendency nowadays and they might just end up alone. Another thing is that you can't force desire because you found a safe and secure person. I agree with taking it slowly with the one you get immediately passionate about (indeed you have no time for discerning and the passion is gone when you woke up from the illusions). I have changed my ways and I'm much more available and secure myself, yet I don't feel a lot of fireworks around those safe guys. Cliché but they are often already taken, especially if they are not boring😂.

[@angelmossucco]

Can’t handle conflict It’s a sad, shocking time-loss (when you can’t stay since it’s toxic positivity or nothing with them) when this becomes apparent. Repressing our emotions to avoid conflict causes physical illness. Do not repress your feelings and needs for ANY longer than you must. Read The Myth of Normal.

[@dlwsport250]

The Myth of Normal is a genuine life changer!

[@nataliemuller3424]

WOW did not realize until watching this that I have been seeking the attachment style I was used to..wantimg to feel nervous and anxious as a sign of there being more potential or something only because it was actually what I am familiar with...powerful. watching because I am talking to a new person but haven't felt that and worried it wasn't a good thing but it actually is..

[@LoveByDesign]

This is great! Yes our wiring causes us to seek out familiarity. Reach out if it continues to be a problem for you: www.healyourheart.school/call

[@Msdufr]

You are a Godsend

[@jessicaking5185]

He wouldn't be exclusive after 4 months. It broke my heart to break it off but I knew it was best. Thank for this video confirmed it 🙏🏻

[@LoveByDesign]

Good on you 🙏

[@mistymccoy2285]

Wow. You just described my ex and his behavior in every detail, I mean, EVERY detail! I really wish I had this advice when I met him, it really would've saved me from so much trauma and heartache. I am so very grateful and excited that I found your channel! I'm already a huge fan of yours! I'm also really happy to know that my intuitions were very accurate, thank you for confirming them! I knew his behavior was absolutely terrible and the opposite of what he should've been doing/saying to me. Your channel is really helping me get thru this breakup, which has been very difficult for me. You're bringing me comfort and an overall calmness to my mind, and I really needed that right now. I can't thank you enough!!!

[@LoveByDesign]

You are so welcome Misty! ❤️

[@dlwsport250]

There is a guy who keeps pursuing patiently BUT he doesn’t seem to have a genuine interest in getting to know me. I have a 3rd date tonight. I let him go and he keeps popping up. 😊

[@GreeneChakra]

He needs to GO!

[@LoveByDesign]

He may just enjoy the superficial attention. Your boundaries are what’s needed 😌

[@dlwilliamson5644]

@@LoveByDesign I let him go. I told him that "Thank you for your time. We are not a match."

[@dlwilliamson5644]

@@GreeneChakra He's gone! Thank you (We had a total of 5 dates and he did not ask a SINGLE question; Lots of flattery and a deplorable lack of curiosity).

[@LizDavinciLand]

Well-constructed and helpful information here, Amy - I enjoyed this video. All the best, Liz

[@KristaMadsen]

yikes, my man I just lost had all three. Now I know!

[@LoveByDesign]

I'm glad this gave you clarity! 🙏

[@allegorybyvuyo]

Yep! Samesies 🙃

[@melodybenavidez]

Great video!

[@jennifers.8772]

You’re so good. Thank you so much for sharing this information with us.

[@LoveByDesign]

You are so welcome! ❤️

[@wendydaniel1110]

If one does love , value or respect themself, they will NOT be able to give that to you.

[@KimHeiseArt]

Very helpful, thanks!❤

[@LoveByDesign]

You're so welcome! 🙏

[@heatherchaney9518]

Thank you so much! I needed this so much

[@LoveByDesign]

You are so welcome!!

[@ecclesgoons6953]

Amy, thanks, very interesting and comprehensive video. Question: Is everything that you say in this video also apply to the reverse situation, i.e. from a Man's perspective rather than a Woman's perspective? If not, why not and in particular what aspects would differ? I can't imagine why it wouldn't also apply to Men dating Women, but obviously I come from a different perspective and different psychology.

[@LoveByDesign]

I speak only from personal experience, as a woman dating men. I would imagine it is the same - but I would ask a man 😌

[@Me76me]

Ex didn’t talk about ex much as if it didn’t happen.

[@PoSHEmediaglobal]

I met someone who was ready to date 2 months after the death of his fiancé and wants to get married in 6 months. I ended things. We didn’t get to date.

[@LoveByDesign]

Wow good on you. That is definitely a red flag timeline!!

[@sparrowwilson4514]

My ex was all three.

[@LoveByDesign]

That must have been tough 🙏

[@MeghanDonnellyIPY]

Excellent content as always. Thank you so much!

[@LoveByDesign]

You are so welcome! ❤️

[@rodfrancis9160]

I was on a date and she asked me when was my last relationship and my mind went blank, so i said 1875...😆

[@lolaweed7467]

Isn’t the person we’re in a relationship with just gaslighting and manipulating us?

[@PalmettoBlonde25]

What do you recommend if the person doesn’t ask many questions about you but they also admitted that they think they might be on the autism spectrum?

[@brdget23]

Very good content

[@packodenton]

Brilliant

[@LoveByDesign]

Thank you! ❤️

[@PS-xb9hc]

Where was this video before I broke it off a month ago. Lol!

[@LoveByDesign]

Lol! How are you doing now?

[@cherylannebarillartist7453]

Right along with no love bombing I would suggest respect of boundaries.

[@LoveByDesign]

Yes!

[@secretscorpio-gf8vm]

Thankyou

[@LoveByDesign]

You are so welcome! ❤️

[@monikaleszko5343]

New subscriber 🎉

[@LoveByDesign]

Thank you for your support!! ❤️

[@izarawanjiru]

Your First Red Flag is Yourself how do you Treat and view RESPECT Yourself 😊✨️💛 you Attract what You Are.

[@Mossyfoxfae]

i respectfully disagree with the "you attract what you are" sentiment because it isn't universal. Victims of domestic violence do not attract abusers because they're abusers. Often, abusive people seek out highly vulnerable and empathetic people.

[@izarawanjiru]

@Mossyfoxfae if you Are secured with in yourself Mentally and Emotionally. You will not Attract Abuse into your Life not to that degree. When it comes you will Recognise It and simply choose otherwise. This is what is ment in You Attract what you Are. ✨️💛

[@PussycatVlogs]

No. You attract EVERY KIND OF PERSON. You accept and allow people in your life based on your self worth and acceptance. Your statement is very New Age and is very victim blaming. Don't forget that words matter, even if the intention behind the words is benevolent.

[@LoveByDesign]

I think I understand where you're coming from with this comment, but ALSO we don't do victim blaming here on this channel 🙏

[@impossiblegems]

Women attract everyone stop that narrative

[@annasoloviova911]

I have studied literature, but now I identify myself as a doctor, so I think i should be given a job at a hospital.

[@LoveByDesign]

Uh, good for you 🤔

[@Kiki-yw9kc]

My husband makes my life a misery because I am deemed as attractive and he takes out on me if a man literally has a normal conversation with me .

[@LoveByDesign]

That’s a big red flag ❤️

[@camh5253]

Im getting to know this guy. We went on 2 dates. Everything was great. We had a lot of fun talking. But I noticed 2 points. #1. When he showed me pictures in his phone in the photo section, his body language told me there were contents he did not want me to see. He was cautious about what pictures he wanted me to see. #2. In between dates, he texted me like once a day to quickly check in but not to carry out a conversation. Sometimes, I felt like I was left on “read”. For example, he asked to set up a third date last night and asked for the upcoming Thursday. I said I work that day so I suggested Friday or Saturday or Sunday. It was 8:30 pm - 9 pm at night when we talked. Then I fell asleep. In the morning, I still haven’t heard back from him on choosing a day that works for him this week. I feel like the communication in person vs communication via text are not consistent. It is like i am seeing two different people. In person, we could talk with ease, but via text, it seems like there is a barrier between us. Are those 2 points red flags?

[@Lukas-ft6te]

run

[@53Strat]

You base it on feeling a barrier between the both of you. Do no act upon such feelings, women tend to do that allot. Your feelings are always valid but you should ask yourself, is my feeling justified?

[@Lukas-ft6te]

@@53Strat My MAN, literally read her comment how is that behavior she just underlined about the guy she's dating her "feelings". It's literally borderline sociopathic

[@53Strat]

@@Lukas-ft6te The fact she wonders if its a red flag is an issue yes, well. They won't last then anyway, if the guy is smart;p

[@LoveByDesign]

Communicate this to him. His response will tell you what you need to know ❤️

[@Lebensbaustein]

"genuine on the surface but different underneath" makes zero sense. What are you talking about

[@LoveByDesign]

Superficially genuine 😊

[@Lebensbaustein]

@@LoveByDesign that wouldn't be genuine. I think you mean fake.

[@sarahmitchell4455]

Is this a man commented lol

[@Lebensbaustein]

@@sarahmitchell4455 no

[@deborahgabbai5192]

Can I have a session with you?😄

[@LoveByDesign]

We can discuss to see if we're a fit to work together, you can book a discovery call here: www.healyourheart.school/call