3 Steps to Helping Your Parent with Dementia That Refuses Help

Download 2 FREE dementia cheatsheets at this link: dementiasuccesspath.com/yt-cs
1- Activities Ideas
2- What to say/do for specific Challenging Behaviors
Thanks for watching! In this video we are going to talk about 3 steps you can take to help a parent with dementia who refuses help from you that will empower them and make your life easier so everyone in your home can be happy.
As a thank you for watching:
Dementia Activities Cheatsheet + Challenging Behaviors Cheatsheet Download Here:
dementiasuccesspath.com/yt-cs
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[@lexicole2009]

My grandmother thinks some family members are after her stuff. She refuses to move, even with my help. I spoke to her doctor about her situation but he outright said "your family thinks you are not safe and are having memory issues" to which she naturally refused any tests and insisted she was fine so going the doctor route didn't help. Any additional tips would be VERY appreciated!!

[@dementiasuccesspath2239]

When she talks about people taking her stuff, it doesn’t help to deny her reality. The core issue is she feels her things are unsafe. Work with her or assure her that you’ll make sure her things are safe. Her refusing to move could be pain, it could be her not knowing what to do. As far as the doctor issue goes, finding another dr and coaching the dr before they see her may help so that doesn’t happen again.

[@nanolight4337]

More detail on each I am begging you this is biggest hardship. Parent was hoarder extreme 61 cats. Hoarders FTD frontal temporal dementia. Has always fought got angry to make family leave her alone to do shopping hoarding behaviors. Enjoys fighting. Smiles evil smile when she thinks she is upsetting you. Feels like she is demon possessed dementia. None of these nice things work on already mean people. Is calm and nice when you cry because your pet died but seems to be glad you are crying.

[@normaelmore4504]

Thank you for the helpful tips!

[@dementiasuccesspath2239]

My pleasure!

[@MsGenXodus]

None of these things work. All caregiving efforts are rebuffed, sometimes violently. I can't get her to seek medical help despite pushing for over 2 years to get her to the doctor. Now she's barricaded herself in her home and threatens to call the cops whenever someone tries to help her. She is angry and belligerent. At this point, I'm ready to give up. If this is how she wants to die, then I guess there is nothing I can do about it. She's an adult who, as far as the law is concerned, is allowed to destroy herself if she so chooses.

[@OceanSwimmer]

@MsGenXodus, I feel for you - I really do. Mom became ill with Influenza type A and needed hospitalization. Once there, she refused to eat, drink, or take her meds for 3 days. It was hard to just let go -- to not try to talk her into eating or drinking. I realized on day 2 that mom is SO controlling that it was impossible for her to accept any help. On day 3 she began eating and drinking again. Sometimes it's okay to let go and not spend what could be her last days arguing. It's been helpful to remember that at 97 yrs old, mom is not going to acquiesce to anything if I display strong attachment to completing a task. After all, it's her life. I'm a retired RN and intervening when necessary has been my life. But this is different. It's not my "job" to force mom to do anything as long as she's not endangering herself. "Letting go" of my idea of a good outcome for mom is hard, but I can do it. I hope the situation has improved for your mom. Maybe getting help from a mental Health professional, or Dept of Human and Social Services professional will facilitate transferring your mom to Assisted Living. Let us know how you're doing. 🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷