3 things that could have De-escalated this situation

[@SelinaShaw]

I appreciate the tips you have in your videos as I look for ways to help libraries I work with address challenging situations in their buildings. It's also an unfortunate reality that there are people who will deliberate escalate situations in public if it's being filmed because content like that goes very viral on TikTok and that equals money for the people who post them and/or react to them. I wish we as a society didn't monetize rage, but here we are.

[@GentleResponseLLC]

You're exactly right, bad behavior is encouraged for social media prestige and money, and I don't see how it will get any better any time soon. My team and I have done training with library staff before. Thanks for taking a moment to comment!

[@frankmartin7379]

Excellent video great tips, in fact I have used some of these techniques they do work.

[@GentleResponseLLC]

Thank you for taking a moment to comment and share that these basics work!

[@Shinobi1Kenobi]

This is my primary problem with your presentation (not concepts, but how you usually frame them): if u don't know anything about the context of a confrontation, how can you possibly dissect people's behavior, much less their intentions, in these video clips? Simply put, you cannot even begin to discuss "appropriateness" in most of these situations I've seen you present. Let me give an example from MY "lived experience." There was this guy who got hauled in for a confrontation interview (3rd interview) about felony domestic battery because his wife was in the hospital with a broken jaw and concussion. She was found in the bathroom floor of their home. Blood everywhere! So the LPC and the detective went after him..."You know it was wrong! WHY did you hit her?" The brute replied, "It was the only way I could make her stop stabbing me with the butcher knife!" You see, he had been in the shower when she went full Psycho on him. He backhanded her defensively...blindly. He struck her in the jaw and she fell, hitting her head against the countertop. He was asked to remove his shirt, which revealed about a dozen knife wounds in his back. He had tried to hide the evidence and remained silent because he didn't want the mother of his children to go to prison. The End.

[@GentleResponseLLC]

How does knowing the "context" change the need to recognize when to just walk away? As a police officer, I have also handled calls that ended up being very different from what the "victim" tried to portray.

[@Shinobi1Kenobi]

@@GentleResponseLLC Hypothetical reply: the reason the man is fronting these..."people"...is because purple hair tried to abduct his 6 year old daughter. Mom took daughter off the X and is calling 911. Dad is simply DELAYING the group of weirdos until police arrive. Maybe he was HOPING they assaulted him. Now let's talk about your POINTS. They are valid. Pretty good points! His tactics need improvement. But do you see what i mean about different responses based on context which happened before the video clip and we have no way of knowing?

[@GentleResponseLLC]

Correct, everything is always situation dependent and why I stress the need to actually assess the situation you are actually dealing with, and not what you think you are dealing with. In this video, not knowing how that specific incident started is irrelevant because I just wanted to pull teaching points out of what we could see in the video, the main point being recognize when you need to break contact and walk away in a situation where you do not HAVE TO have contact with a loud, rude, hostile, obnoxious person.

[@Shinobi1Kenobi]

@@GentleResponseLLC I get that, but my hypothetical scenario (based on the same video clip) puts "dad's" behavior in a different light. Maybe delaying and distracting these belligerent weirdos was his GOAL. Sometimes, it is wiser to step INTO chaos than out of it (like if you don't want it following your kids). It's called a rear guard delaying action. Straight up infantry tactics applied to a very unmilitary situation. My wife and I found ourselves in such a situation last Fall. But because I was being attacked by a woman, SHE stepped in and allowed me to get our daughter to safety and avoid almost certain legal nonsense after defending our 5 year old daughter from being battered by a middle-aged male Romanji pick-pocket in a museum gift shop. He retreated from me, but was immediately replaced by his "hysterical" female accomplice covering his exit. My wife, a retired Army MP, read the situation correctly and stepped between this woman and me and faced her down. All of this was on video at a high profile museum. We went back to the hotel and I called the head of security at the museum to discuss WHY we had been accosted TWICE that morning on HIS watch. First time was in the parking lot, which he explained was owned by the city, not the museum. SMH But he had no answer for the second dangerous confrontation with a GROUP of criminals working his guests in his gift shop. So he offered us a rain check as his personal guests. We politely accepted, but never exercised the do-over. Sad, because it's the museum of my wife's favorite painter, and our daughter was having a splendid time until the Gypsies tried to abduct her. The world's gone crazy, dude!

[@GentleResponseLLC]

Indeed the world has gone to heck!