3 Things: UPDATE on the wife of Slimer, Husband is "blindsided", GF is a playmom for BFs kids

[@AVibeCalledYes]

That first woman is on the verge of a breakdown. Saw my mom go through it. She started hoarding and stopped doing everything. The house was a mess. The dishes piled up. Part of our roof caved in. The kids pitched in. My dad wasn't worth a dang & didn't notice or help. She eventually stopped cooking. I have no idea how we ate or survived. She turned into a shell of herself. Marrying and having children with the wrong man can 100% ruin your life & your children will notice it and internalize it 😳

[@AG-iu9lv]

I keep thinking of Ricky's mom in American Beauty, and how I'm starting to understand why she sits at an empty table and stares into space. 😔

[@anikasmith8361]

I period before my abrupt exit from my ex was definately his favorite as he got to stay out with his side chick and still come home to meals and fresh laundry. Less than four months AFTER I left he was throwing her clothes out on the front lawn. Never let a bad relationship change who you are, you just have to learn who it is worth being that with. If you are a good woman/man, go be that cause that is the objective. You don't have to talk much if you are action focused. Live your believe and life will do the rest.

[@Jujubean9795]

Since leaving is not an option, She’s needs to go back to therapy. BetterHelp, telemed whatever she possibly can do! She needs to focus on herself and her children. She needs to SHAME him into not being so ‘gross’ IN FRONT OF THE KIDS! If she doesn’t shame him into oblivion, she will have FOUR GROSS kids to clean up after! She has to teach the kids that his behavior is DIABOLICALLY DISGUSTING! That newborns first word needs to be “GROSS”!. If he doesn’t want to change, fine. But those kids will further make her life a living hell if she doesn’t FORCE them to be BETTER! OR, she should take the youngest 1 or 2 and leave🤷🏽‍♀️.

[@seabreeze4559]

@@anikasmith8361 he thought he was the prize LOL

[@MayDay-yn3bw]

Depression, anxiety, or neurodivergence can complicate things ​@@anikasmith8361

[@emilyfeagin2673]

The “ slimer” wife is overwhelmed And there is no help. Despite all the pro lifer screaming about “ the babies” They can’t help the Mom. Can they do anything to motivate the lump she is married to? Why does it always fall on the woman?

[@Neo3602]

It's not can't, pro"life" people won't help.

[@aaabbb8812]

Why do these women keep breeding like rabbits?? 4 kids??!! With that piece of trash husband?!! What is wrong with these women? She could get BC on his health insurance. At least, get fitted for a cervical cap or diaphragm at the doctor's- she DOES have an ob/gyn doesn't she? I am sure she shops in the drug store for supplies- she can't buy spermicidal foam or gel to use with a diaphragm or cervical cap??!! Some of these women make it very hard to sympathize with them. Can't or won't use an IUD, an implant, or the pill?? Can't insist he uses condoms?!! Or, gets a vasectomy??!! I sometimes think these women feel they can burden a man with so many children to make him stay-that is a stupid idea and always has been. What is wrong with these women??!! She could get tubal ligation after at least one child. What is the thought process driving these women to have unprotected $€x and breed like mice??!! Or, flies??!! It's sickening!! As a woman, I don't understand how you get into this predicament without your own active and willing participation. They are leaving out the part where they can and should stop having so many damn kids, but CHOOSE not to. Something is very fishy about such situations. Women have to hold themselves reproductively accountable. This is madness.

[@childfreechick2980]

Having more kids than you can afford alone + not having your own income = formula for disaster.

[@Ch3rryT3a]

The children absolutely pay the price for unprepared parents. Ask me how I know?!

[@nothereyetlost]

No no no!! Not unprepared parents, mothers entrapped by the creatures called malles.

[@Ch3rryT3a]

@@nothereyetlost​​⁠​​⁠Yes! yes! I was responding to what BurbN said about not everyone should have kids. It’s not something people want to hear but it’s true! People selfishly deciding to anyway really hurts the children the most!

[@aylanae4797]

​@@nothereyetlostwe gotta stop this if it takes two to tango hoe does one entrap something in YOUR BODY WTF

[@nothereyetlost]

@@Ch3rryT3a yeah but it’s men forcing that on women

[@Ch3rryT3a]

@@nothereyetlostI don’t think in EVERY case. That’s like saying every woman would make a good mother it simply isn’t true.

[@Chambermenz]

As soon as guy whose wife left him said they fight and then "everything goes back to normal" I knee that meant the problems aren't actually addressed. He's a fool.

[@Chambermenz]

Knew not knee

[@katherines144]

That's what I heard, too

[@insideAdirtyMind]

This!

[@stephanieann9770]

Yep

[@ginmar8134]

His wife gave up talking to him because he refused to listen.

[@IFSpecialist]

I wouldn’t believe any thing that biohazard man says. Depending on the state, half of the money in her marriage might be hers. She needs to talk to a good lawyer step one.

[@Daug555]

The BOYFRIEND expects 50% RESPONSIBLY for HIS KIDS?? What in the actual f*ck?? Why are you still there 🤦🏾‍♀️??? Spoiler: He’s never gonna commit to/marry you.

[@Diana734]

"EASY MODE"....🤨 Let me guess....he does not help with the kid, or the guy is selfish in bed, and has a Dad bod.

[@CharlieApples]

He literally said they had sex 10 times a week and that they “talked about it” and “settled” on that after she’d expressed that it was too much for her. He’s saying his wife doesn’t want to have sex that much but he’s pushing her into it anyway because that’s what he wants, and in his mind that’s a “healthy sexual life”.

[@seabreeze4559]

@@CharlieApples he gets off on going against her wishes, sexual sadism

[@seabreeze4559]

it's always the fugs who start on women like that

[@yonpark6245]

Yea, he talks a big game about being ideologically aligned, but has he even considered her personhood?!? She has her needs and they are less than his. Imagine being forced to have 10x a week sex when you'd be more comfortable with 2x. This guy is cluuuuueless.

[@emilyfeagin2673]

Dad Bods are ok. Imho, it goes deeper than that Women don’t leave unless it’s awful

[@thekameru6058]

Second person - Wife: 'Im exhaused, overwelmed, and sad. Please help me.' Husband - 'Lol life is on easy mode.' Rod Stewart - 'But there ain't no point in talking when there's nobody listening. So we just ran away.'

[@MsPraline]

I dated a needy guy who had wild children. When I broke up with him, I told him, "Good luck with that..." Plus, I didn't want their behavior to rub off on my daughter. Years later, ex bf ran told my daughter, "I was going to marry your Mother." She relayed the message. I let her know that I wouldn't have accepted his proposal. No Bueno!

[@msannethropp7497]

I'm poor! Came of age when my single mother was poor. FUCK NO poor people should not have babies! It's child abuse and an overall miserable existence for both mother and child and drives wedges into their relationship! Why would *anybody* debate that????

[@bougiepeaches5497]

Exactly, people really don’t care about children’s wellbeing.

[@seabreeze4559]

Ditto ditto ditto DITTO DITTO DITTO DITTO I still get nagged by relatives who stole from me and I'm like 1. with what husband? 2. with what money? I asked if they'd set up a trust fund. They said no.

[@Jujubean9795]

This is true BUT no one can reasonable prevent poor people from having kids. So they go out of their way to deliberately make life even more difficult for them. I agree. Don’t have kids if you can’t afford them.

[@beepbopboop7727]

Agreed

[@levelupgoddess9289]

Ppl that do it hate their kids.

[@tigerlilly9038]

She may not be entitled to trust money but *HIS CHILDREN ARE* Make a plan dear heart. Make a plan to save your life and your children's lives.

[@MelissaThompson432]

Mr. Mucus' wife needs an immediate mental health intervention. I guarantee his "I'll pay you to leave," does not include, "...and take the kids." She needs to leave anyway, get herself some mental health and a life, and then petition the courts to change custody, to let her have access to her kids. By then they'll probably be completely alienated from her, but, honestly. She is the person most in need of rescue.

[@neuronova1384]

Blindsided husband had me sympathizing until the story turned. I was like “wow yeah ok, a man’s been wronged and this is his perspective” and then after the part about the kid I was like “never mind - this woman needs to RUN!!” 😂

[@AG-iu9lv]

If you're too broke to have kids, you really shouldn't have any, but definitely stop at one. It's hilarious that people who know kids are not for them get trashed in the court of public opinion, but we're not the selfish ones for not having kids whose needs we know we would/could not fulfill; the people who do have kids knowing they can't/won't fulfill those kids' needs are the selfish ones. Edited for clarity

[@seabreeze4559]

I said to men I'd hypothetically like several children but would check after the first both parents were GOOD PARENTS before having more and MOST of them got defensive I expected them to prove that. Like, that's the BARE MINIMUM SIR.

[@AG-iu9lv]

@@seabreeze4559 that's another excellent reason, proud of you 🥰

[@leesalovely2782]

We just don't want poor people to have babies? What is the purpose of bringing children in the world without the means OR knowledge of how to care for them? Raising babies until adulthood takes time, money, and the willingness to learn and grow as a mentally and emotionally healthy human being. Trauma begets trauma.

[@mmck2565]

And largely, the poor isn’t poor because they chose it so even though I can easily quickly agree that if I’m broke I’m not up for having kids I can also see why people who are poor but want families hurt over this topic and even argue how pretentious it sounds (cause it does honestly) that only those who can keep there heads above the capitalistic patriarchy waters should have kids OTHERWISE how dare you want a family- you selfish disgusting human being …. 🥴🤷🏽‍♀️

[@silververnallbells191]

Just bcuz you're poor doesn't mean you don't have knowledge or can't learn or are even traumatized. Trauma knows no tax bracket.

[@shantavanee]

First story is sad 😞 She is dying inside and feeling stuck. It’s horrible to be in a situation like that 😢

[@J0knows]

Story 1 She needs to leave and divorce him and give him those kids, he wants the kids make him pay you out and give him those kids. He has actively turned those kids into terrors and he should suffer the consequences of having a rotten father. She needs to help herself mentally and physically repair horrible damage of that husband and brainwashed kids. It may hurt for a few years but in the long run she will be happier and alive and not suffering mentally, physically, and emotionally.

[@seabreeze4559]

he's trying to kill her with stress, 100%

[@CurliFox]

Why would she leave the kids in an abusive environment? Thats a death sentence for them. If there is a shelter nearby, they can be accomodated.

[@silververnallbells191]

@@CurliFox He's just nasty, but he doesn't beat them. She CAN and SHOULD leave the kids w/him & move on. If she wants to live she needs to walk away. She can find a better man/situation if she's so desperate to be a mom. She wants to be remembered as a good mom, but all the kids are going to remember is she didn't clean the house & she was always on her phone & always yelling. SHE is the one who is Yelling. SHE is being verbally abusive. The kids are better off w/their dad.

[@CurliFox]

@@silververnallbells191 Physical abuse is not the only form of abuse. Im tired of the narrative that "at least their not being beaten." She needs to get the kids out of that situation.

[@susanplatt5331]

The first woman should leave him with the children and build her life whilst seeing them every other weekend or something. The second, well, it's pretty obvious he stopped trying, stopped romancing her, didn't like his child getting her attention, didn't help, she tried, he didn't change, she gave up.

[@Jujubean9795]

I agree. If she is contemplating self-deletion, she needs to leave. She has nothing now. She can have nothing while seeing The kids every other weekend, holidays etc. SHE deserves better. THE KIDS deserve better. Her husband deserves to grow TF up.

[@ragingrn8342]

@@Jujubean9795 I am wondering if the husbuzzard is doing this on purpose in order to get her to leave. It's called Inducing A Divorce. It's sort of like Inducing a Wife to do all of the housework through Weaponized Incompetence. If she leaves then he can tell the children along with other people she associates with "Look, she left me!" "She walked out of our marriage!" "She filed for divorce!". He'll deceptively act as if he had no idea why his wife was upset enough to leave him.

[@ragingrn8342]

@@catxtrallways I am very glad to see this type of information. I have some hope for women stuck in these situations now. However, women have a very long way to go.

[@shawntoriawilliams921]

Leaving the husband with the children is a good "idea" but truthfully they would probably end up with cps or worse, with him unsupervised/feral

[@CurliFox]

@@shawntoriawilliams921 I keep hearing this "Leave! Fvck those kids!" narrative in feminist circles. They think leaving abusive men with the children will straighten them up. Make them better people. It will not.

[@Lysistrata2025]

*His* kids, his task. Leave.

[@AVibeCalledYes]

THIS. The scary part now though is that these clowns will unalive the kids 😢

[@M.Swigglez]

@@catxtrallwaysso? If the relatives decide to deal with that and not call him out, that’s their fault.

[@mysexpressions9604]

I think she needs to leave and call child services to come take the kids from him and then work on getting them from him. It’s so easy to get a pew pew in America so many things are so easy I even hear ppl can go to churches and food banks and get free food. She needs to get out of that situation, have the kids get taken away and then sort out the rest afterwards

[@M.Swigglez]

@@catxtrallways agree.

[@brookealicia92]

Boyfriend for a short period of time. That’s all I need to know. Get out and don’t look back

[@AskDarlingNikki]

She needs to look up LEGAL AID in her area and sue his ass for financial and psychological abuse, sue him for money including child and spousal support. She also needs a therapist although the first one wasn’t good for her she still needs to get another one. Also go to department of human or social services and ask for a DV case manager. There are so many free resources to help her become immediately self sufficient and self improved. Just don’t give up and keep seeking knocking asking for help and take advantage of ALL of it

[@catcoffee7958]

Some women will not leave,, she still allowed him to impregnated her,,, some like the victimhood,, *he is good father with connection to the kids"😮

[@ButterflyBree]

I feel so bad for the woman who is trapped to the biohazard dust mite. I hope things get better for her mental and financial life so she can escape that hellish relationship. In the second story, I don't think the woman just woke up and decided to leave a healthy, optimal relationship. He's done something to push her away and he better try to figure it out.

[@ellaarkin70]

She sounds like she going through postpartum & therapist failed her.

[@stephanieann9770]

Postpartum depression isn't the same as being exhausted and overwhelmed while being with a lazy selfish partner.

[@ty.365]

5 kids with a disgusting man. She is broken and tore down. This is why women always need to have their own. The kids will not remember her being a good mom because she is not being a good mom. Doesn't seem like it's her fault atp but she needs to figure something out. The kids are going to resent her but 4 kids and a newborn and a husband spitting on the wall. I just know she had issues after the first child what makes women want to keep having more. Sounds like he's been abusive from day one. Honestly she should just leave and leave him the kids. Go get stable and try to fight for her kids later. IDK what the answer is.

[@KrystalAri]

Now you know the moment she stops laboring for that man he'll drop those kids and her. She knew something was up after baby #1. I stopped feeling bad for these ladies. Stop wanting a man more than you love yourself and your kids!

[@daughterofsekhmet81]

@@catxtrallways Thank you, I am so sick of the yOu ChOsE hIm! rhetoric. I can't believe so many people _honestly_ believe any woman would knowingly pick an abusive biohazard of a man who hocks loogies on the walls. These men NEVER act like that in the beginning, they're on good behavior until they have you trapped with kids or cohabitation then his true self comes out. That is the origin story of every abusive relationship. And thinking she stays and keeps having kids with him because she just loves him so much... It's almost like birth control can be sabotaged, and saying no to a abusive man can get you hurt or r*ped! By the time you realize you're stuck with a monster, you can't just take your pocketbook and go like it works in victim-blamers' little fantasy world. I've been stuck in more than one nightmare relationship due to finances and having nowhere else to go. I didn't stay because I was sooo in love with him, I stayed cause I had literally no way to leave.

[@Jujubean9795]

@@catxtrallwaysI agree. Playing Monday night quarterback is not helpful. She cannot change the past. The best thing to do in these situations is to learn from other people’s mistakes and offer help or resources. There are not a lot of resources, which is exactly why the CPS case was closed. While bailout disgusting, the government will not use their resources to fix this situation. Mom needs to figure out how to make the best of her situation or leave.

[@aylanae4797]

​@spitt3640 I get what you are trying to say, but 1. Having discussion about your power and abilities is not blaming/bashing we carry the womb so at what point do we take responsibility for the bad decisions were costing the kids. Imagine how many more babies will be born if we keep trying to dilly dally around the power we have. In one breath its we're going to shut the world down and drop these birth rates until we're respected, protected and valued but then it's also a mans fault when it comes to the kids. ( agian there are alot of individual circumstances but your response is doing what we've been doing to these men, coddling. At the expense of kids) 2. If the kids ask the same thing and now have had to suffer for their parents, but( foccused on moms lack of accountability rn), are we just going to say deal with it here are some resources? Kids are being bore into this world to parents who ignore red flags, are economically, mentally struggling we wonder why the world is the way it is? But sure lets not hold the two people that lay down accountable for their behavior. Also as women we have the option men don't once the kid is in our body.

[@KrystalAri]

​@@catxtrallways Cool, keep making excuses for these women while they and their children suffer. They need to own up to their mistakes and leave while they can instead of playing victim. No one but yourself kept you with a horrible man.

[@SianLondon]

"ACTING" Depressed! ugh SMH useless

[@itzTeTe]

Situations like this first woman’s is how and why some wives take the lives of their husbands…they see it has their only option to really escape… and even if they get caught the life they would live afterwards would be better…so they don’t see it as exchanging one prison for another.

[@seabreeze4559]

yep do the time, get out early on good behaviour

[@itzTeTe]

@@seabreeze4559 just make sure to collect the evidence that justifies your actions and you’re pretty much set.

[@angelface3039]

Little kids ask for mom more because mom is more reliable and she always does things for the child. When dad and mom are more active the child would not care.

[@elipotter369]

Also, I bet he didn't just get on with doing all the other housework & making her life as comfortable as possible- he was too busy negotiating his hours of s x!

[@elipotter369]

I returned to work when my daughter was 6 months, her dad stayed home more than me, but when we went overseas for an 8 week trip around Europe when she was 1 year and 20 months, she clung to me all the time, which surprised me & made it a bit exhausting for me. I guess it's because I was gentler, more attentive etc.

[@Hopdog230]

Mucus mom is suffering my mom burnout. She needs support. She needs to leave. There’s no saving the marriage. And she’s married so no, it’s not just his money. She’s should get some sort of settlement.

[@toscadonna]

If the money is in a trust, she’s not getting anything besides child support if she can get custody.

[@peacefreedom4930]

He wants her to get up with him and the children because he wants to transfer the morning routine onto her. If she’s up he can ask her to help more and more until she’s doing the entire routine and he’s in bed sleeping late.

[@1108-g1q]

On blindsided husband: He offered to help. But I would like to hear her side of this. We all know that "help" isn't help if it means more time and effort to guide the other party than it would take for me to do it by myself, particularly if the helping person won't remember the lesson for next time and we start from scratch every single time. I can't tell you how many times I have been in the grocery store and found a man looking bereft and lost with a list in hand. I found one such man near the corn in produce. I offered to help. His wife had written "corn starch (baking aisle)". Another man was in the store during hurricane prep when water supplies were low. He approached me with a gallon of nursery water from the baby aisle and asked what would happen to him if the drank the baby water.

[@louhortonsculpture]

Yeah…. “Help” was “make me a detailed list that I will present I can’t understand”

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

Why do men assume that they can ask for help from a random woman about a drink aimed at children?

[@bres.4806]

Its the fact that you go out of your way to make the list of things they should already know to get living in the same household and they still won't use it or forget something on the list.

[@CharlieApples]

He SAYS he offered to help, and gives specific examples of things he was willing to do _3 years_ after she gave birth. What he doesn’t do is give examples of what his wife was asking him to help her with. When it’s her pleading with him to help her, he’s extremely vague. Probably because it was things he didn’t want to do, all the hard and unpleasant parts of taking care of a child, like getting up in the middle of night to change diapers and feed a screaming baby. He couldn’t even get his son dressed without giving up ffs

[@1108-g1q]

@CharlieApples there is also the "I offered to help but our child always cried for mom" that indicates he used that as a reason to pass baby/child back to mom. "He only wants you". I have cared for my friends' babies and children and they ALL for cry for mommy. But guess what mommy is not here so you will play with me! Mommy is not an option right now! That is how a truly helpful friend sees it, and that is how a true partner sees it.

[@cocoace7587]

Ironically, life has been telling & showing us to give women Grace . Today, we have this shell of a woman , 5 kids , with a husband that pays everything . Yet she feels stuck and doesn't know what to do .😢 Last week , we had a young woman , 5 kids , no husband, and she paid all of the bills and did all of the schoolwork for her kids . She was becoming " a shell," but she stopped the progression. She begged the daddy/ daddies , family , and anyone in this world for help . Even with doing everything on her own , she was in 2 different college programs to better THEIR lives . She gave her kids to CPS , and now everyone is mad that she took " the easy way" out . Women can NEVER, EVER , EVER get a smidgen of Grace that we give men . Wow 😳

[@TheArtPaige]

I thought it was smart for her to give her children to CPS. I would have in that situation too. I think as women we are judged harshly but that is more of a reason to practice the art of detachment aka not giving a fuck.

[@shaypope4732]

Cps doesn't have her kids cause she wouldn't get them back when she wants to please watch her 4hr interview where she said they not with cps n the reason

[@CurliFox]

Women should be criticized for poor decision making too. If this woman had 5 kids by several different men, without adequate income and education, then it is right for people to criticize her.

[@SA-ey6nt]

​@@CurliFox Yet while where she went wrong is very probably absolutely obvious to her, she seems to be the only one in that situation taking any hold or acCoUnTaBilITy and works to make the best of it. She's struggling while 5 men are NOT being criticized, because they're not taking care of THEIR decisions

[@dkblue317]

That first one should honestly let the husband have the kids and work on herself and just have visitation. Be as present as possible on her weekends. That way she can focus on building a career during the week so she doesn’t need her husband.

[@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver]

Nah. She wants to want to be a good mom. But she is lying to herself. Wanting to want something for you is not the same as actually wanting it. Like when people try to stay devout to a church they don't actually believe in. They want to want it, but they don't actually want that for themselves. They're lying to themselves. What they truly want would come out in some way or another. Mom life isn't for everyone. Religion isn't for everyone.

[@seabreeze4559]

liking the idea of it

[@catcoffee7958]

Her thinking is not straight,,, she dosnt have bank account,,, she let him Impregnated her 4 times

[@demigoth]

She actually slept with mucus man?? How sad. I'm so glad I remained adamantly child-free and never quit my job. I'm living proof that despite that, the wrong man can still mess up your life, but at least I could walk away at any time.

[@CharlieApples]

He has got her broken down so low that she is coping with his abuse by convincing herself that she deserves it.

[@Ilikefrogs..]

On the first story, we women need to normalize putting our own oxygen masks on first. Provided that he isn’t physically violent, I would leave. Get myself some therapy, get my mental health and finances in order and them pursue partial/full custody. Any CPS worker that walked into that house would immediately award custody to the mother. Both she and her children will be happier with a healthy, happy mom.

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

I wish there was a way to reach out to some of these Ladies! They need the support of other Women. Also it never crases to amaze me how Men really believe the carefree lifestyle they had with the wife before children is going to stay the same way AFTER the children! SMH!

[@LoremLipsumz]

That mom needs to leave for the sake of her children. They won’t understand why she left and her husband will likely paint her as uncaring. But. She needs to go for her own mental health. Saying she can’t leave is an excuse and imo, selfish.

[@ShalomDove]

“We had a healthy sex life…” then why were you disagreeing on how often to do it and had to “settle” on a compromise? If it was good for her, she would want it without negotiation, buddy.

[@toscadonna]

Ten times per week is a LOT! He won’t get off of her, basically. Won’t let her have any rest from work, housework, baby work, or xes work.

[@Wonderwoman79G]

💯

[@alanai1981]

I REALLY WANT TO UNDERSTAND HOW THE FIRST LADY LET IT GET SO OUT OF CONTROL? SOUNDS LIKE SHE HAS 5 CHILDREN. SO HER HUBBY IS AWFUL BUT SHE KEPT HAVING BABIES??? ALSO NO BANK ACCOUNT IN 2024! PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND. GET MARRIED THEY SAY, HAVE CHILDREN THEY SAY. NOPE. IM NOT GOING.

[@cloveless18]

I think she must have mental issues. The phrase "what he has against me" sounds like a lil dirt he's got on her. I just cant if he's not clean and smelling nice. I be checking under fingernails and errything!!! I ain't catching some infection from some nasty dude. FIVE kids? Not if you have me a million cash.

[@cloveless18]

Story 2. Men with high sex drives are so annoying. Like a chihuahua humping your leg. JUST STOP!!! Calm down. It makes women feel like a flesh light. Not cool. Not sexy. Grow up.

[@CharlieApples]

She’s being abused, sis. He broke her down. Men get women pregnant so they become trapped at home with all those kids, and guilt trip the hell out of those broken women when they even think about leaving, calling them terrible people and bad moms and “How could you be so selfish? How could you abandon your children?” Not abandon _them,_ the abusive husband, but “the family”.

[@seabreeze4559]

@@CharlieApples bluebeard types

[@moniquej369]

@@CharlieApplesI get what you’re saying, but women also have the power to say no. Women should never depend 100% on a man. And also don’t have multiple kids by someone who doesn’t help out. It’s okay to make a mistake once or twice, but five times is ridiculous.

[@planningandpowerlifting]

First story, I hope that lady gets help and gets out. Second story- obviously he didn't try hard enough. As a grandparent, the kids obviously prefer their parents, but we worked on building a relationship with them so they are comfortable with us watching them. 3rd story-hell no!

[@mysexpressions9604]

For the first story I don’t know if it’s because I’m not a mother so I don’t know what she is feeling but she is getting terrible advice. I would start stealing his money $10 a day (since she is planning on staying anyways) when you have your 3700-4000, based on additional money found around the place, I would abandon the kids for like 1-2 years and then we go to court for visitation. The advice her therapist gave her sounds like they are holding out in hopes he one day feels bad and changes or for a sneak divorce. Come on now. She needs to leave like asap

[@JanayNikki]

The first story shows you how the world is pushing family, and children on women, but lack the resources nor the care to help these women. SMH

[@islandgirl8067]

1st story, How is she not entitled to any of the assets that her husband obtained during the marriage? 🤔Last story, she probably deleted parts of the post because she realized she is being used and is embarrassed.

[@almadilworth6571]

Wife of Slimer.....🤣 I almost choked on my coffee!🤣🤣💀😇

[@yujuy.1329]

for story 1 -- leave him with the kids. let him have sole custody!!!!

[@ashassassin]

Omg. This woman makes me so sad. I hope she can get out somehow. But I'm not sure what she can do to get out. No wonder she shuts down and needs to escape into her phone. Shes overwhelmed and doing it all on her own. 😢

[@amauraaaa]

i wish she just stopped having kids after 1

[@catfancier270]

Wife of Slimer! 😂 Sounds like a low budget B movie.

[@dearbrave4183]

The main concern is she still finds him attractive enough to sleep with him and she thinks he is also father material and needs more kids?😢 There's no amount of soccer or ballet that will fix a child's broken psychology because of dysfunctional parents. This is 2024, it should be common knowledge. Also for jobs with internet, all you need is a desire and creativity. She looks like she has given up so...Anyways....her choice, all the best

[@autumnl5127]

In the first marriage the woman needs time to mentally heal. She should leave the children with him and visit every other weekend if she can when she has healed up enough. The second marriage the husband is totally selfish and I'm sure that his wife made him aware of how she felt long before he finally listened. He was totally selfish, and aware that he used her as a mattress to his pleasure, and left all childcare responsibility to his wife all while she was working a fulltime job. He was over s*xed and selfish and didn't care how she felt.

[@catcoffee7958]

She allowed him to use her body she still getting pregnant by him,,, she is still making excuses for him as"good father ",,,

[@autumnl5127]

@@catcoffee7958 💯

[@Bubaluve]

I have never unstood people who think that having a mentally unstable mother in a bad situation is what kids needs. Leave that nasty man and get mental help. His money is the reason they haven't taken the kids away so you can't fight that. Get your self together so you can at least get visitation rights. He is being that disgusting just so you have to clean it if you leave he will either have to hire someone to clean up or lose the kids.

[@Interference11]

I use to wonder why some women have 4+ children to later say they can’t handle motherhood. It didn’t make sense to me, but then I realized that some get into a “breeding trance” where they THINK they want more. When they finally reach capacity, THEN they awaken from the trance and see what they’ve done. This is why I have more compassion. I truly believe it’s a trance that’s connected to hormones. “Falling in love” is a work of hormones as well. It tricks people into having seggs to produce children. Nature is tricking folks.

[@aureyd2515]

Oh yeah, post birth, you're thinking, "The next one will be easier..." Not everyone snaps out of that mode. Which is why they should really push advice on a good spacing between births whenever possible. Mother Nature is a tricky biotch. All that matters is numbers, not quality or quality of life.

[@Interference11]

@@aureyd2515 I know right! Very informative comment.

[@gabriellemeche992]

Something that I learned when we were in an abusive house, my mum staying as long as she did made me resent her. This woman reminds me of her. You being a 'good mum' is moot when you stay. She said she was still there because she didn't have money to leave and I try to understand these days but that didn't erase the fact that I was always on edge, I remember always thinking he'd unalive us in the middle of the night. He was an alcoholic and filthy. Do you honestly think after I just accepted he was abusive that i could get over that? My father was the filthy alcoholic whose wife filled him with so much vitriol. He was manipulative. Her saying she wants to be a good mum and her children will one day notice reminds me of the stay at home girlfriend. Her children will notice their mother yelling (my mother did. She stopped) and she'll hurt them. It doesn't matter if she tries not to. I'll say it again, she should still leave and leave those kids with their dad. She isn't in the right headspace to be around them. All that wanting to be a good mum won't help if she's still stressed and resentful.

[@lindsay6518]

I don't want poor people to have babies. My mom was poor.

[@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching]

Heed the advice you receive in these videos take what resonates and leave the rest when you prioritise your wellness. In my line of work, I have worked and supported women that have no financial resources from husbands, to the degree they do not even have a bank account and the husband travels and go on holidays abroad without them.

[@UseYourVoices]

Not your kids, not your problem. If he's being inconsiderate to you, ditch him and let him handle his problems on his own. #FThemKids

[@Sinderella1987]

She is literally forcing herself to stay because she has to😊😅

[@papertape7911]

@Burbnbougie I think you need to start some sort of mutual aid support for women with your channel. There are far too many stories of these women who need to leave these horrible relationships but don't have the means to do so. I don't know how the rest of the audience feels but I would definitely be willing to contribute financially to helping these women leave their situations. I can see a system where if the woman is part of your subreddit and she is ready to leave but needs financial support, we can pool money for her. I don't know, but I feel like we can utilize this community to support women who are trying to leave these terrible marriages.

[@BurbNBougie]

I honestly know I need to be doing something more. I just don’t know the logistics and stuff.

[@NeverYours-c5g]

Definitely a community project, I know many of us would love to participate to help each other!

[@toecutterjones]

I actually left a comment about this but it was deleted by the pos at KZbin. Basically a type of GoFundMe but specifically for women escaping horrible situations.

[@cathybutcher4826]

Excellent idea!! I would definitely contribute.

[@mysexpressions9604]

I am also willing to contribute.

[@crestofscribbles8761]

The slimer guy is beyond the pale. I'm pretty sure she said they were in an apartment in the second update. Imagine if you went to check on your property after your tenants moved out and found every inch of it not only water damaged by slime but also covered in thick globs of caked on dried phlegm. Dude. I think if I was the owner and saw that, I'd want to walk in front of a bus too. It's just as bad if it's their on place too. Like drywalling is not the most expensive if you do it all yourself but it's a lot of work and there's no way this loser guy is willing to do it.

[@CharlieApples]

It’s a good thing he’s paying because he is NOT getting that security deposit back. That OP needs to be sure the apartment isn’t in her name before leaving. Hell, tell the landlord and DHS exactly what she told Reddit.

[@emilyfeagin2673]

That much phlegm isn’t normal. It could point to a serious health issue I hope she has a BIG life insurance policy on him

[@tigerlilly9038]

That lady is about 2 seconds from walking down the road........with nothing. She is not safe for herself or those babies. See this is why I did not drag that woman that took those kids to CPS, *you never know what will happen that ends in a filled bath tub and tragedy* So sad...but wait..there's funding...

[@dieschonen]

The 1st wife needs to leave, and leave the husband the kids and get visitation. Why wait until there is nothing left of you before you choose yourself. She needs to get better so she can be a good mom. The dad will have to step-up. The 2nd story....the fact that he doesn't know what his wife was so unhappy and the divorce is a surprise speaks volumes. Women give you plenty of chances it's never out of the blue. He seems like a non-participant in his marriage.

[@adrianghandtchi1562]

I feel so bad for mom in story number one, resigned acceptance that nobody is on her side, also that comment she made about her children only seeing the good in her husband, I don’t think that’s true, young people can be quite observant if you give them a chance to talk about it. All I know is that if she stays, no matter what she says, someone’s gonna perish in that house. And I know leaving is not an option just because of the monetary and all of the other connecting ties, if she doesn’t feel comfortable, leaving her kids with her husband, which she consider putting them in foster care I know it’s got a sorted reputation, but something where she can get a soft reset and she has a chance to get away from her husband.

[@CurliFox]

She says her kids only see the good in their father. But how would she know that, considering she doesnt talk or interact with them? 🤔 She talks about them as if they are fully cognisant adults, and not elementary aged children.

[@toscadonna]

Children often side with the abuser, because they’re stronger and it’s safer that way. Animal survival instinct to side with the strong instead of the weak. My 4th grade teacher’s kid sided with her father even though he was a violent drunkard who put a pew pew to her head. They’re still not close even all of these decades later.

[@PraiseJ-Pope]

1. This mom is suicidal and doesnt get help?? Wtf?? CPS doesnt do shit for depression! I pray she can make it out somehow. 2. Of course he has noooo idea 🙄 and am i the only one noticing how cold his text sounds? All numbers but no emotions, no words of love for his wife...no wonder she checked out. 3. Not her kids, not her business

[@PotsandPansWhatsPotsandPans]

I saw women in "good" marriages with "good" fathers who could also afford to hire me as a nanny and sometimes also a weekly cleaning service who were near breaking points because of the way things are so stacked against mothers with crazy double standards and the expectation that you're supposed to disappear as an individual and only live in service as a wife and a mother - even if you also pay bills.

[@ayamempress1579]

11:17 Since she got pregnant, her brain became in tune with the importance of life because she now has another whole person to be fully responsible for with a useless partner

[@lacheregriffin-denton9946]

Oh my God there's an update to this first story😂 I almost threw up the first time hearing it. But seriously is she spoke to a DV Advocate what did they advise her to do other than just stay in that situation to me I would call the State Housing Authority and Report the house and then let them come in and see the condition of the house and then let them tell him that he has to make the corrections to the home in order for the children to stay. See what she doesn't know is that in cases a child custody at least within the US child is usually assigned a guardian ad litem that Guardian Ad Litem has to come into the home and see the conditions of the home and if they see that the conditions of the home is unsanitary they're going to remove the children from the home and maybe that's what he needs in order for it to be cleaned up. Also is she where to report the conditions of the home the state would step in and assist her and the children and finding a more suitable temporary place to stay and eventually a permanent place to stay he has to get herself within the system for the system to be able to work in her favor. Also says he wants the kids so badly let him have them because a lot of times these men don't want these kids they're just using them as a vehicle to get to the woman so if she stops allowing him to use the kids to get to her by allowing him to have the kids and just going to court for visitation she'll be all right

[@tempestholmes]

My first marriage I tried and tried to get my stupid, now EX, husband to meet my needs. I wanted him to be honest with me about his whereabouts for a mysterious 12-20 hours per week he was disappearing, I wanted him to stop financially abusing me, and treating me as his emotional punching bag. You know, outrageous stuff like that. He wouldn't budge on anything and was still all shocked when I left and devastated. So glad I left!!!!

[@amyyaku5022]

S2: I bet whenever he "helped" it was just weaponized incompetence to the point where she decided to do everything herself. S3: Crazy how often there are Reddit posts about this. I found one where the guy wanted to take his kids on their honeymoon and the OP was against it. He kept guilt tripping her and, as it turns out, he was just using her as a bangmaid. When she finally had enough and broke up with them, he turned his kids against her. Jokes on him though, cause he's failing and flailing being a parent.

[@Blech-h9z]

Telling poor people not to have children is not the answer. This woman needs support and help, not unhelpful people telling her how stupid she is.

[@ayamempress1579]

9:17 all his suggestions were for a temporary fix to a clearly long-term issue... wtf is "a period of taking special care of each other"?! Surely you just take special care about someone you care about specially... a period...so a week of nice behaviour then back to the old rotation

[@just.R.A.]

I was too disgusted on the original story to comment but if the woman-with-the-horror-film-of-a-life’s husband is constantly hacking up dark phlegm, maybe he has lung cancer? Maybe if she has a big enough life insurance policy on him, the problem will resolve itself soon?

[@benatiyah]

All Mothers need support! It is ALOT even when you want to be a Mother especially with multiple children. Whether we work outside the home or only work in the home. Mothers need support bottom line and most Fathers don't provide enough support or give Mothers time to relax. Women must support eachother. I am SO thankful for my Mother who is an excellent Grandmother and gives me space and time to relax and recharge. P.S- I am a working, breadwinner Wife and Mother of 3.

[@anoriea]

Can someone put the part one link here cant find it clearly in her video playlist :)

[@BurbNBougie]

I apologize. Let me get on this.

[@anoriea]

@@BurbNBougie No worries thank you ^^

[@BurbNBougie]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hWawlpujprKmqKc

[@anoriea]

@@BurbNBougie ❤

[@ayamempress1579]

7:34 that means, she is the bread winner but it's only by 20-40k so he saysit it is split evenly, lol We're clocking the code now 😅

[@lexa_power]

At first i felt bad but i read some of middlechildmommys post history and she’s either fake / a bot / or really stubborn. Either way i don’t like her and her excuses. Not victim blaming but as a former victim myself i know sometimes it’s very easy to be so overwhelmed by the abuse that you don’t fight to get out of the situation. I was stuck too so i feel for her but like many other commenters said, the kids pay when parents have kids they can’t afford or aren’t ready for. Kids are a blessing so hopefully she figures it out but i don’t know if that Reddit account is even real. Seems sketchy based on post history.

[@mikochild2]

Number 2. Didn’t he say she slso refused his help?

[@Nikki-zg5sx]

Why do some of these women continue to have babies?? How miserable for everyone; very sad.

[@emilyfeagin2673]

They aren’t doing it by themselves Ever hear the term “ baby trap”

[@Nikki-zg5sx]

@emilyfeagin2673 yes, and I've also heard of birth control.

[@PrincessC03]

@@Nikki-zg5sx And what say you in the many unreported cases on non-consent and sabotage of birth control/condoms, etc.? These women are experiencing absolute terror, where is the empathy?

[@Nikki-zg5sx]

@PrincessC03 there's empathy, but as women, we need to move smarter. Otherwise, we are perpetual victims, and what would be the point of all this?

[@PrincessC03]

@@Nikki-zg5sx Of course, solutions are necessary, but we have to identify and address the disease before we can scorch/uproot it. It's very easy to shout how people should know what's going on because we do, but we have to remember that many do NOT. Meet people where they are and have compassion - take a break if that's not possible. Provide the solutions for the person(s) in their current situation. This lady needs resources to navigate her reality now. She needs DV support, legal aid, etc. That's how we begin to move smart, not by disparaging women by acting like we're XYs.

[@Raven2322]

Asked a guy i was seeing once why he was spending so much time with me if he didn't like me enough to see a future with me. He said without hesitation, Novelty and Convenience. I'm not proud to say it took me too long after that to walk away but once I did I saw what a piece of shit he was and that I had dodged a major bullet. Years later when he got another girl to like him he called me up and was surprised to fine I didn't care anymore. Said he loved her but after 6 months he only made her his girlfriend so that he'd have a place to stay cause he was getting kicked out of his apartment. When he later made this gf his wife, friends would ask if I was jealous. I said off course not because I know he's selfish trash and he told me why he was actually with her. It had nothing to do with love or who she was as a person. Only what he could get out of her. When they tell you definitely believe them.

[@elipotter369]

Second story - they don't have good communication, they've negotiated s x on a hours/week basis, she's not interested and dude thought it was all going just fine! He's just online whining now - there's no changing or help when someone's checked out, dude. You should believe what she says & not assume splitting up is s joke or manipulation tactic - he sounds exhausting and disrespectful.

[@blissfulmiddle]

Bangy 😂

[@onycagayle4485]

❤

[@vrichards4363]

17:16 she sounds crazy.... Lol you single till married. Get with a man with no kids.

[@Orb-w3aver]

💎

[@cocoace7587]

The husband didn't help with their whole baby for 2 years . She's had enough & made a plan to leave . But , he's comfortable & relaxed in his marriage & refuse to understand why SHE can't just stay & take it for 15 more years .🫡 Men leave wives for ANY reason THEY decide on. They leave women homeless, penniless, men want to punish alllll women . We are blamed for their degenerate behavior. Ladies, the NEW NORMAL , is to LEAVE. If YOU aren't happy & appreciated. #make a plan stan , get on the bus gus & make a better life for us .🥰💃