3 Tips to Overcome Stress & Anxiety!

In which we travel back in time aboard our new Chrono-Copter helicopter (yes, really) to explore some best practices and coping mechanisms for dealing with being stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious! Also, MIKE AND EMMA SHARE AWESOME NEWS WITH YOUUUUU, INCLUDING THE WORLD PREMIERE OF THE COVER MIKE'S NEW NOVEL!!!
More information on our books:
FIRST & THEN on Amazon: amzn.to/1J8v5u1
FIRST & THEN info from Macmillan: us.macmillan.co...
Emma's video about FIRST & THEN's cover: • First & Then cover rev...
Emma's official homes on the interwebz: / elmify; / elmify ; / elmify
Video where Mike reads an early version of MR. FAHRENHEIT's Prologue: • Childhood & Wonder & R...
Mike's official places on the interwebz (to be updated as more news becomes public): www.tmichaelmar... ; / tmikemartin; / tmikemartin; / tmichaelmartin ; Instagram: Tmichaelmartin; Snapchat: TmikeMartin
VIDEO LINKS:
Kelly McGonigal's TED Talk: • How to make stress you...
THE UPSIDE OF ANGER: amzn.to/1NaiEMQ
THE HAPPINESS TRAP (good intro to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy): amzn.to/1NaiQvu
Support How to Adult on Patreon at / howtoadult
HOW TO ADULT Posters Now Available from DFTBA Records!
store.dftba.com...
Merchandise from Mike (including "Reading Changes Us" and "Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost" posters!):
store.dftba.com...
"How to Adult" is a "life skills" edutainment channel brought to you by Executive Producers Hank Green and John Green. Subscribe for new videos every week!
Tumblr: / learnhowtoadult
Twitter: / learnhowtoadult
Facebook: / learnhowtoadult
Created by:
Emma Mills & T. Michael (Mike) Martin
/ elmify
/ tmikemartin
Mike is also a Young Adult novelist. His book, THE END GAMES, is available at all online booksellers, including
Indiebound (www.indiebound.... ) and Amazon: (www.amazon.com/...)
Hosted and Edited by:
T. Michael Martin
Written by:
T. Michael Martin
& Steve Johnson
( / fizzylimon )
Executive Producers:
Hank & John Green
/ vlogbrothers

[@randomtrucks]

Something about the "acceptance and commitment therapy" part made me incredibly emotional and I don't know why. Like, you can just do that? You can just accept your thoughts and keep on regardless? I didn't know that was a thing. Wow.

[@angelcollina]

randomtrucks I agree. There is much I need to learn about this.

[@sheylamontoni9619]

I'm currently dealing with A LOT of stress while writing my thesis in college and I've been dealing with the freak outs with one little mantra. Ever since I listened to the audiobook to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the Stephen Fry version) I found the ending to the Potterwatch broadcast incredibly soothing. It reminds me to be kind to people when I'm stressed out, since they might be in the same boat, and also that if I keep my hope and do my very best towards my goals everything could turn out fine. I'm not sure it will help anyone out there, but I sure as hell suggest to give it a go. "Keep each other safe. Keep faith. Good night."

[@Dragontongue18]

I haven't finished the video and I already want to say THANK YOU for making this video!

[@denissimic9687]

LoveIy Video cIip! ApoIogies for chiming in, l wouId Iove your opinion. Have you ever tried - Riddleagan Professional Beats Remedy (search on googIe)? lt is an awesome one off product for discovering a 7 minute mind power method for Iiving your best Iife without the hard work. lve heard some great things about it and my friend after a Iifetime of fighting got cooI resuIts with it.

[@motionlessbacon5989]

You kind of covered this near the end, but you have to be careful avoiding 'stressors', it can sometimes reinforce the idea that the stressors are 'dangerous' which is of course rarely true.

[@FeatherFable]

One of the things I like to do when I'm stressed and/or overwhelmed is sit outside (or on the couch) listening to calm music from my childhood. It makes me temporarily forget the problems I'm facing and relax. When the fifteen minutes are up, I have a fresh mind and I can focus on the things I need to do. I do this once a day and it is incredible how much of a difference it has made for my sanity. (Living with your family in college is not always easy.)

[@Jessicax3lyonnss]

I am a BIG fan of lists. I know for some people making lists of things they have on their plate makes their problems more difficult, but for me, writing things out and planning what times I can accomplish them and then crossing them off makes me feel a lot more secure and satisfied. I have anxiety and I deal with it by looking at everything as a whole rather than pushing them away, which makes it worse.

[@dylandrees6460]

A thing that I have found to help myself for both stress and depression is to do some thing difficult. Just for fun. Take on challenging endeavors as a hobby. What that can mean to each individual varies greatly. If you are caught up in the thralls of depression that can be as hard as brushing your teeth and taking a shower or doing the dishes. I had spent far to much of my life trying to make it easier, so when it got difficult, I got stressed out and depressed. So I started doing difficult activities and then hobbies. There can be a load of positive feeling from accomplishing these things. So by the time life throws me a curve ball and rent goes up and my work load doubles, I can shrug it off and go pfff I do more difficult things just for fun. That's just a lil thing I've found that happens to work for me. Trying to make life was easy was difficult, taking control of the difficulty curve in my life has made it much easier.

[@scabiniful]

i usually get a lot of anxiety over big events (like a dance recital for example) And the way I've learned to deal with it is to keep telling myself that it's only one day and after that I will be able to relax. And then I imagine how calm I will be after it's over, and what enjoyable, non-stressful things I'm going to do the next day, and doing that helps me convince myself that it's not as big a deal as my anxiety is making it seem, and that it will all be over and okay eventually.

[@wilv79]

Loved this episode. My husband and I can get stressed out easily sometimes and these tips will come in handy.

[@jennifergibson6288]

How I handle stress in incredibly short term ways (like if you're actively panicking and nearing a serious and debilitating attack): Regulate your breathing. Try to breathe a little deeper, being super aware of the in/out and try to get as much oxygen as possible. Drink some water. For me, it helps if the water is very cold as well and it kind of snaps my system. Cool off, literally. When I'm about to start having an anxiety attack, I start sweating. I feel really overheated and almost trapped. Having a small desk fan or going into a cold room (or outside during winter) has helped me IMMENSELY to regulate this and calm me down a little bit.

[@grnlfe01]

I thankfully don't suffer to much debilitating stress that often but this video has really helped me frame some of the conversations I'll have in the future with some of my friends who do suffer from it. Thank you. Also great news about your books, I look forward to reading them.

[@christinekeiferglass1631]

Thank you so much for mentioning ACT

[@ShonaM6920]

I've actually been feeling really anxious today, so this video was really helpful :)

[@midnightsmagic]

I get stressed at work sometimes, and there are two things I can do that almost always have an immediate impact on my stress levels: 1. Clean up my workspace. For serious, cleaning my cluttered desk somehow makes me feel like I have things under control. 2. Create a plan of attack. I write down all the things I need to do that are causing me so much stress. Then I create essentially an agenda for when I'll complete them. It helps me realize that getting things done is possible, which relieves my stress. (Occasionally, it is revealed that getting everything done is *not* possible, in which case I figure out how to let some of the things go, and even if that makes me feel like a failure in some ways, at least the stress is gone.)

[@jenny090489]

Add books to my reading list- CHECK. Nice job guys!

[@kujmous]

I like to go for walks when I am stressed. I got an app that blocks social media, streaming, and web browsing apps from 11PM to 6AM on work(school)nights. My sleep still isn't great, but is has improved. All this is to say, start with focusing on self care. How is my appetite? How is my sleep? Am I clean? Have I been outside today? How are my feelings?

[@FantashticIdeas]

These are some fantastic tips for stress, Mike. I love them so much. :) Can't wait to read your next book, Mike! :D

[@angelcollina]

I think this is a super important video for me because I recently suffered from severe anxiety (holding down 2 jobs and online classes) and now I'm trying to fend off depression (I think it's getting better though). I've always had problems with stress. However, I think I learned bad management skills from the people around me. I hope that I can change my strategy once I move to my new place.

[@Ronnie7X]

have you been professionally diagnosed?

[@angelcollina]

+Ronnie McCera Yes. Why?

[@DeaconTaylor]

queen reference with mr fahrenheit? id just finished watching flash gordon before this video too. its that kind of day :) freddie and the boys are good at calming down my anxiety

[@shinyandnotpanicking]

One thing I like to do when I feel like everything is going wrong is write down one thing that's upsetting me and then write down five positive things and I keep doing this for more things that are negative for me until I feel calmer or can't think of more negative points. Sometimes the positive things are ways I can solve the problem or sometimes they're completely unrelated.

[@echojardini]

Thanks for also including the bit about ACT! Even though I know mental illness is irrational, I can't change my irrational thoughts, so that one tends to work better for me than CBT.

[@FatmasterKY3]

Awesome, new books!

[@scabiniful]

i used to get stressed out about homework that was due the next day. Even if I knew I had plenty of time to finish and it was completely within my ability just the fact that it was due in less than 24 hours added unnecessary stress to my brain, so I started planning to complete each assignment one day before it was due. That way I was less stressed about an upcoming deadline, and if I decided I didn't have time or needed more sleep or something crazy came up, I would still have one more day to finish it. Luckily this works for me because I don't have a procrastination issue. Not sure how helpful it would be to anyone else..

[@forshizzlemywizzle]

Whoo boy. I needed this. Sure did. Thanks guys

[@learnhowtoadult]

Pringle Prangle You're welcome! :D - Mike

[@manuel8887]

How is it that I smoke a joint and suddenly all my subscriptions suddenly upload their trippiest video ever?

[@caranlinde]

Hey thanks for making these videos, they make me happy. It's just great that it's possible for great people make to great content that is funny, entertaining and applicable to my life. Thanks! Also, both novels look really fun. I shall have to check them out. :)

[@learnhowtoadult]

caranlinde Awww, thank you! This comment goes in the Warm & Fuzzy File (which, yes, is a thing I actually have). :] - Mike

[@miaamargareta]

Something that I've done before that might help: write a list of the things getting you stressed/anxious at the moment, then write a list of good things, good feelings or things that are going well at the moment. They don't even have to be significant, it could just be drinking hot chocolate through a biscuit (ideally a TimTam). Like, things are kind of shitty right now but at least wonderful moments like that exist in the world for you to enjoy.

[@allstar8000]

Thank you. This video is great. This channel is great. You guys are great.

[@paulinama56]

This video helped me a lot!! Thanks for helping confused adults like me :)

[@learnhowtoadult]

***** You're so welcome! :D - Mike

[@terralynn9]

Ooh! I really liked your first book, so even though aliens aren't really my thing these days, I'll be sure to look for it next spring. Great video too, thanks.

[@brwneyedgirlx19]

I need to learn your book pitching ways: "Adventure. Wonder. High School. Ray Guns." Yep, I'm going to read that.

[@learnhowtoadult]

Tessa LOL, thank you! :] - Mike

[@isitisisitis]

Congraz on your new books!

[@learnhowtoadult]

Isis Barrett-Lally Thank you! - Mike

[@Scurtinn]

I needed this today (because of job searching stresses)

[@learnhowtoadult]

Scurtinn So glad it helped. :] Good luck with the job search! (We have a few videos that might help, if you'd like some tips mixed in with corny Sherlock jokes. :D ) - Mike

[@Scurtinn]

How to Adult Thanks Mike! You guys are the best!

[@JennieFuchsia]

Can you talk about how to start getting professional mental health care? It's really hard! Especially if you're not in school, and especially when you're struggling with depression and/or anxiety!

[@learnhowtoadult]

Ie Dineen Sure. :] Check out this video we made about depression, as it has some really good info in the vid and vid description: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g2PFZolvm6eCb5I - Mike

[@classymonkee08]

Perfect video!!!

[@learnhowtoadult]

h jan :D Thank you!!! - Mike

[@classymonkee08]

How to Adult Do all people with depression exhibit those feelings you mentioned (it's personal/perpetual/pervasive)? Also, a lot of the time (except for extreme cases), when another person is the root of our stress, it's actually a reflection of ourselves. Yes, people affect us, but we also have a huge part in how we let them affect us. This helps me reduce stress; knowing that I can control how I will react to certain situations.

[@learnhowtoadult]

h jan No, they don't necessarily *all* have those thoughts. There's a lot of research (specifically from Dr. Aaron T. Beck, the father of CBT) that does show they're quite common, though. Also, totally agree that it's arguable that most stressors are ultimately a reflection of our relationship with the trigger, not necessarily the trigger itself. Hope the video didn't totally indicate otherwise. Thanks so much for watching/commenting! - Mike

[@Until-When]

This is very good.

[@IceMetalPunk]

I'm stressed because I don't have a job, am currently broke, and will soon be in constantly accumulating debt. What can I do about that? Apply to jobs--I continually do, and have yet to get a call back from anyone except temp agencies who consistently build up false hope (three different agencies so far, over many months, and somehow every single potential position they've found has fallen through before I even get to speak to the employer). I can speak to managers--I do, and still no call back. I can apply to DIFFERENT jobs--I'm applying to everything from bagboy at a grocery store (a job I did for 4 years throughout high school, but my old manager won't hire me back, and the managers at other stores aren't calling back even when they tell me to my face they'll consider me), all the way up to senior-level web development and software development jobs, and everything in between. For over a year now, nothing. No calls back. I don't know what to do. I literally don't know how else to get money, without going the morally objectionable routes of "steal it" or "sell cocaine" (I wouldn't know where to get cocaine in the first place, anyway XD ). So basically, the CBT method just doesn't apply because there are no actions I can take to change this, and there's no logical rebuttal to "probabilistically, this will continue for at least awhile, and during that time my debt will increase every month". I saw a therapist for awhile, while I could afford to. She eventually gave up on me. Not the sort of "I don't care" quitting, but she had gone through all my options and I wasn't able to do any of them (she diagnosed me with depression and anxiety disorders, but I can't afford medicine to treat them). So she finally told me not to make another appointment, that I could call her if there's an emergency, but no more sessions (which might also have to do with the fact that I wasn't able to pay her session bills on time anymore). So overall...I'm in a rut that I see no way out of. And yes, typing this all out does help a little, temporarily, even though it's just a random comment on KZbin, so...yeah.

[@Weatemilly]

IceMetalPunk Not sure if you've done this, but try asking manager why your application was unsuccessful, some might ignore such questions, but some might give insight. All the best to you

[@IceMetalPunk]

Milda Last I have. Every single time, I've gotten one of the following three responses: "We decided to hire someone else instead," "We were looking for someone with more experience," or just no response. None of those are any help, especially since they all have my resume so they should have seen how much experience I have before even calling me in the first place, right?

[@learnhowtoadult]

+Lyssandra Norton ??? Not sure what you're referring to? :]

[@tm0446]

Mr.Fahrenheit? That title is fantastic! Reminds me of my favorites song by Queen :D

[@learnhowtoadult]

TM04 Hahaha, thank you! Funny fact: I actually wasn't thinking of the Queen song at *all* when I came up with the title. It's possible I'd heard it before, and that I stored it unconsciously, but the title just popped in my head one day during a walk in a local park. Glad you like it, though! :D - Mike

[@PinkzRedzProduction2]

Needed this today. I'm turning 19 tomorrow and I always get serious birthday anxiety.

[@carlylarsson]

Kelly McGonigal is a professor at Stanford, therefore she is Professor McGonigal!

[@learnhowtoadult]

Ten points to Carly Larsson. :D - Mike

[@tambourini]

Thanks!

[@EbyKat]

A lot of these are tips I've picked up over the years to decrease my anxiety. I just blocked a friend's teenager on FB because she isn't good for me having positivity in my life.

[@freakynintendoguy00]

Also, a good read on stress is "Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers: An Updated Guide to Stress, Stress Related Disease and Coping" by Standford University Professor Robert M. Sapolsky

[@learnhowtoadult]

Alan Garcia :::googles::: Looks awesome. Thanks!

[@99thTuesday]

FOMO is one of the most insidious of forces in the world.

[@leslieisepic]

Both those covers make me want to read both of those books. *grabbie hands*

[@learnhowtoadult]

leslieisepic LOL, that is awesome! THank you! :D - Mike

[@seifamgad9568]

Meditation is really good for stress. It has made a huge impact on my life. I recommend you guys try it. :)

[@learnhowtoadult]

Witness14 Totally agree! It's made such a difference for me as well. :] - Mike

[@youmaycallmeken]

I think this video ought to be shared by SciShow Psych.

[@ToniMorgan14]

This is the second video uploaded today that I've seen that involve these magical blue-green time traveling goggles....Tomska just had them. hmmmmmm

[@poniesgirl1]

Pre-301!

[@twisto]

I noticed recently that when I wake up abruptly, I feel anxiety. Idky either.

[@braindead514]

Are you wearing a fitbit charge HR and a watch? If so, why? jc

[@learnhowtoadult]

Bonnie Jo Indeed I am! Unfortunately, the Chrono-Copter's quantum manipulator sometimes short-circuit onboard electronics, so I find it helpful to always carry a back-up timepiece. - Mike

[@terralynn9]

Psst. The description says 'magic helicopter', when in the video you were clearly using a 'chronocopter'.

[@ljmastertroll]

A purring cat on your chest helps a lot too.

[@LyssandraNorton]

Mike... Mike... What are you doing?

[@RayenTrail]

topic idea how to manage people as a boss

[@learnhowtoadult]

RayenTrail That is an *awesome* idea. Adding it to the list. Thanks! - Mike

[@nealsterling8151]

Instead of going from one therapy to the next, why not avoid the sources of stress alltogether, like moving to another country where life is less stressful and people are less unhappy and agressive than in the US? Why not remove sources of stress in live, one by one until you feel comfortable?

[@BlueflameStudios09]

must.. NOT.... SAY... FIRST!

[@ChadEichhorn]

10 points to this guy's house

[@learnhowtoadult]

Chad Eichhorn 10? Make it 20. ;) - Mike

[@treymedley]

And *that* is how you do a cold open.

[@learnhowtoadult]

treymedley Literal LOL :D Thanks very much! I was kinda nervous about it, so this comment means a lot to me. Thanks for watching and commenting! - Mike

[@pramitbanerjee]

The ACT works for me...but only after a amount of time has passed. I want to see a therapist, but i dont have the money

[@learnhowtoadult]

pramitbanerjee Have you read any books by Dr. Steven Hayes, the creator of ACT? I think they're about as good as they come. Might be worth looking into whether your local library has them. Good luck, and thanks for watching! - Mike

[@bjbarlowe]

"Know thy enemy" isn't that from Sub Tzu?

[@learnhowtoadult]

Benjamin Barlowe Yeah. It's a joke. :] - Mike

[@bjbarlowe]

Ah, gotcha.