3 Ways ADHD Makes You Think About Yourself

[@mhxybeats653]

getting people without adhd to understand “i have problems doing things, basic things that i know i have to do like showering, sleeping, and brushing my teeth, even things i want to do and love doing” is difficult. it’s extremely extremely extremely easy to fall into negative thoughts patterns about yourself when all you’ve ever heard is how much potential you have that’s going to be wasted because of how lazy you are

[@chloe-tb3so]

i feel the same way and i never knew how to explain it until i read this

[@panasado7886]

That hit me. I have tons of ideas that I want to accomplish, but I just can't. Even tho I'm motivated, it's so difficult to start when you have your head all over the place and just can't focus.

[@danceforlife4952]

This makes me want to cry because it’s sooo true!!!!

[@humbleAndkind.]

I can 1000% relate to every single word you said. I get it:(:( I think I have been my whole life .. but signs just have gotten worse and worse since my mom passed away in 2019. And also there is ADD in my family too. My siblings kids both have it(they’re adults now) still go to therapy and on meds

[@aaronwherry62]

It's best to understand yourself, and leave the justification alone, who cares what they think if it's not good for your mind

[@Luna_LU6546]

I've entered in a stage where positive feedback don't affect me but negative feedback destroys me

[@kiranm845]

Yess

[@MorganBondelid]

Check out the concept of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. You’re not alone.

[@niinestormtv2331]

Aye I feel that, but kinda the opposite. I seek negative feedback and freak out when positive feedback comes my way

[@niinestormtv2331]

@@Squeekysquid mainly that they’re just saying that to be nice

[@jamesburke7033]

I feel the same way, with one exception. I like positive feedback for a second and then I instantly feel awkward and don't know how to handle it. At least I am used to feeling destroyed

[@andir8119]

I'm not made for this society i wanna run around in nature and catch squirrels.

[@jessicacole8404]

.You may get your wish soon. Lol*

[@Enjoytheshow435]

Andi R Me too but i’m locked down. Damn!! I want to chase anything! Anything that can give me a spike of dopamine yet I take my pill then I crash.

[@skeetjenkins5852]

My brain is struggling of being off benzodiazepines during this quarantine anf I don't have much of a support system.I'm having protractive withdrawals for months and I feel like I can't do this anymore sometimes..does anyone have any suggestions?

[@TheStuntViking]

Me too. I chase the ball in Rocket League as a not even comparable substitution, but it calms me at least.

[@rwitt3vloggs]

Felt that

[@Pumba424]

Dude I’m literally in tears. I’m 26 years old and have never been diagnosed with ADHD but I’ve always had a very hard time completing tasks and doing things I don’t want to do. I am convinced that I do have ADHD and knowing I’m not just a worthless and useless person who can’t accomplish anything is so comforting and hopefully I can get some help to manage my issues and finally make some progress in life.

[@warrick7689]

I'm 32 and was recently diagnosed and got medication, what a difference it made in my entire life. Don't hesitate and go and get treatment.

[@markiscarter3053]

God has many things to accomplish through you keep believing

[@Dwigt_Rortugal]

You are loved, you have purpose, and your being here and having the characteristics you have are not an accident. I wish I'd known what you now know at 26, and I wish I'd had someone to offer accurate perspective to me when i was younger. It would have saved me a lot of grief, fear, and terrible sadness. "Why is life so difficult?" was the nagging feeling I'd always had since I was a boy. Now that I know what I know, I realize that my brain being wired differently is not always a handicap. In many ways, it has made us specifically gifted in seeing problems and challenging situations from a different perspective. It has helped me excel at certain tasks at work, and if harnessed and managed correctly, it can help us notice things that others don't because we are naturally wired to see lots of things simultaneously. It can also help us be more compassionate and willing to help others who struggle. It sure is lonely a lot of the time, though. Most of society has no idea what ADHD really is because for generations, it was denied as an excuse or a crutch for hypochondriacs. Basically, "You're lazy, you suck at things, and you blame it on ADHD. Everyone knows that's a total crock." I still have extended family who out of ignorance openly mock neurological differences, not realizing that people with those differences are all around them and have to work hard to mask their differences and function with them. You're going to do great, friend, and I say that from the perspective of being on the other side of the doubts and hopelessness you are likely feeling. I'm still struggling with the lies of inadequacy reinforced especially from my youth, but when I have those doubts, I look at what I've accomplished and the results don't lie. For me, personally, knowing who God says I am and having that identity to counter the years of lies has largely set me free from the feelings of worthlessness, fear, and inadequacy. I'm fully aware that expressing my faith even lightly will likely bring on some trolling, but I am who I am and I'm not afraid anymore to express that. The results don't lie, and for me, there's no denying what I've experienced firsthand, because no one else is in my shoes anymore than I'm in someone else's. There is hope, and you have a lifetime of meaningful experiences ahead of you.

[@elise9537]

yes everything feels like a burden if you have no interest in it. how are you doing now?

[@Pumba424]

@@elise9537 thanks for asking. I’m doing better now. I am talking to a therapist and working on ways to regain my self esteem and manage my symptoms.

[@365ral]

I'm an adult with ADHD, and I've been struggling with that EXACT cycle for years. I've been told countless times that "it's all a choice" or "you just need to want it bad enough." Then, when I have problems like being late or impulsive, I feel bad because I seem to be just too lazy or unwilling to make better choices! I'm going to show my parents this video, and maybe they'll have a more open mind about it.

[@gatestimonymiracle1302]

What people don't understand ....is just because other people can cope with the symptoms of ADHD doesn't mean everyone can cope with it the same way.

[@JenyaIsJustChilling]

They probably won't. My father never understood me, and he doesn't want to, even after so many years i have actual status of mentally disabled. I don't want to judge someone i don't know, but there's a possibility that they don't care and don't want to learn any new information about your (or whoever reads this) condition, because it doesn't fit in their world view and narrative.

[@ArThur_hara]

I just got into college it's has been 3 years now since I started struggling with that cycle. I still don't know if I have ADHD and people around me reactions make me think I'm just acting as an excuse to my laziness,etc. Although the I do research the more I'm convinced I might have ADHD. It's really a painful thing for some reason the effects (if I really have ADHD) only started to be visible 3 year ago what about those 13 first years that would mean I don't have ADHD and really became lazy as my parents say, I scared to discover I don't have it after doing the test that would mean those 3 years in hell where all because of me.

[@ArThur_hara]

Did it work?

[@365ral]

@@ArThur_hara It didn't change much. I've been on Vyvanse for an eating disorder, but it's also done wonders for my concentration since it's a stimulant!

[@moistbuthole9752]

Dam this is eye-opening. I have ADHD and I struggle with this annoying loop where I apply for a job and think "yeah I can do this, my experience matches up" - then they call me and I think "actually, what if I mess up something or I'll struggle with basic things?" Then I talk myself out of it and don't return the call

[@moe4315]

I am in this exact situation as well :(

[@ChooseLoveToday316]

Christ I relate with this.

[@SavageThrifter]

I do this about EVERYTHING

[@poak5742]

Hear you there mate i am go through exactly the same cycle but never normally get to the interview stage and sometimes not even off the web page with the job they need people for. I have seen a job that i could do with my eyes shut and it was good pay but it was 5.30 am start time which i tried to kid myself for about 3 minutes i can do that and yes sometimes i can but sometimes im lucky to get 8 hours sleep over 3 to 4 days let alone every night plus i work myself up worrying i will be late for things the next day which makes it almost impossible to sleep. Good ol adhd brain tried medication and it made me a emotionless zombie well almost emotionless if u dont count agressive and very snappy that is.

[@ahhwe-any7434]

My husband has adhd & his mom thinks church will fix it. I mean, he's almost in his 30s by now. All the problems yall had b4, maybe just maybe it isn't working! I'm not even sure if this is inherited but both of his parents r disruptive, don't listen, & think they have all the answers. But the type of answers where the next really will know or has actually experienced will be left thinking do u really just talk just to be talking? Bc its ok to keep ur mouth shut when u don't. No really, it is. But they'll stay pulling out random ish from the air. Bc ppl can def tell when u do or don't make up things... & my husband does little to big f ups. Like not putting machinery on break while working & etc. Like no adhd isn't at all. absolutely not a real thing & doesn't effect ppl in their work, personal, & daily lives.

[@yaboirene1167]

Literally me. People have called me dumb plenty of times and I developed a horrible self esteem because of my adhd. Thank God I had a support system that encouraged me to get diagnosed.

[@chickenlittle4014]

Same here self esteem in and out :(

[@paulbeaney4901]

I have learned to mask and just act dumb. Its easier than trying to explain why something is wrong, while contending with chaotic thoughts. Trying to get my explanation out is so difficult i just dont bother. It has caused me to be VERY dismissive of things i don't agree with or don't see value in.

[@ArThur_hara]

Hi me from another universe. I do the same and it's painful everyone at college think I'm dump although I have better results than some of them. I agree with the explanation thing you said to last time I tried to explain myself the guy who's my best friend (and I'm his) in the college said "The issues is you think you are the only one who has problems in life" and them the girl I'm into added "unfortunately you're right", since then I never tried explaining what I'm going through and Everytime something would need me to explain why I'm like this I would think I'm just a dumb guy who trying to justify why he is an idiot or some who is look for attention trying to act like he is the MC in this world. it's painful to have an issues and you can't even explain it to ppl who care about you so they could help you.

[@jericoblaynechildofgod6655]

It takes strength in being able to not get frustrated and be able to do things by habit to reman focus other people don't or understand about what is going on with us.

[@blueshoes915]

@@ArThur_hara Sounds like you told people close to you who you thought were safe people but they weren’t. If you had a friend who was a safe person to tell this all to, you would have had a different response. Some people do not understand nuance. 💕

[@jornsyy]

I’ll never forget my friends telling me they didn’t trust me because of how unreliable I was. While I was lucky enough to be academically capable of graduating high school easily, the impact my “best friends” had on me never has or will leave me. According to them, I’m unreliable, lazy, and don’t care… I just wish they realized how much I cared without me having to prove it in a neurological way… because I care more than anyone

[@ArThur_hara]

Words man/girl...

[@ChooseLoveToday316]

I completely relate.

[@halimaomar9820]

Totally. You care more than anyone. Because we are very sensitive people but it just doesn’t translate in the ways they want to see.

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

@@halimaomar9820 fr

[@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver]

I mean, there is no real way to know that you care more than anyone. But if you do feel this way, the effort matters to them. I know it's not a simple fix of waving a wand, but you have to focus on you and care about you first. You need to find the things that help you, if you want to show others that you are there for them. It's only going to harder to show them, if you aren't caring for yourself just as much.

[@lydiarose5212]

One of the biggest frustrations for me as someone who has ADD is that I know I have the ability/capacity to do things, but the difficulties imposed by ADD block my ability to fully reach my potential. Potential and ability are there, but I can't fully access it. It's maddening.

[@nameless592]

Exactly. It’s not that you think less of yourself rather that you are aware that something is off and that’s the think that’s in the way not that I am in the way of me. The more comments I read the more I see that mental health discussion need to be re positioned.

[@bw5187]

I know the feeling, like a pasture you can't open the gate to but it is right there.

[@rosej5029]

Or that you have to double your efforts to manage the difficulties. I have to put systems in place to protect me from me and it's exhausting to stay vigilant about them!

[@Randy_Flamethrower]

its like having a Lamborghini for a brain that's constantly stuck in rush hour traffic.

[@nusabygrace]

Here just after I made someone I respect a lot angry again and procrastinated on studying for an exam until last three hours (every test I have I studied for the night before), not able to focus on what I have to do, but becoming almost a self called doctor of psychology, sleep deprived sleeping 4 hours a day for almost two years because I can’t get myself into bed, and hateful towards myself because I keep on running away from my responsibilities until the last second, and because I am so sensitive, socially awkward, never aware of what is happening outside of me, always falling behind, disappointing people, disappointing myself. Honestly, life with ADHD is a horror. I don’t know what to do, I’m trying to change every single day, but no matter how hard I try to keep up with everything, something always falls between my fingers. I’m sorry that we are going through ADHD. It’s truly traumatic to have it, to say the least. Know, that no matter how hard it gets, being you is still worth it. I’m here with you.❤

[@johnmonroe1997]

what you said is what I see in my life sometimes, hope things go better for you

[@meganmcgrory6274]

You make so much sense. None of this is easy and your strength is inspiring

[@nicok2131]

you said it. I want to share that learning the different aspects of ADHD, especially the ones that make me feel out of control of myself and start the shame cycle going, has been so helpful to me. Naming 'symptoms' like Demand Avoidance" or "rejection sensitivity" and learning about them makes things easier and allows me to come at my symptoms with SO much more compassion, self care and patience. I love what you said. Being you is still worth it, and especially so with all the riches a neurodiverse brain gifts us with: problem solving, art, thinking outside the norm, entrepreneurship. and most of all empathy.

[@Natalia-pc7fm]

I’ve felt this way many times. It seems all we can do is to get the ones closest to us to understand, get appropriate medical treatment, make adjustments to our surroundings and duties and learn to not be so hard on ourselves. I wish you much strength in this new year and all the years to come.

[@sheagaier7582]

I totally get you. When I did my masters degree in behavioral health I had a lot of trouble starting and finishing complex writing assignments. I could do my discussion board assignments just fine but when it came to visual assignments I had difficulty even starting them because I cannot learn visually at all. I kept thinking “I’m not a visual learner so what’s the point of these stupid diagram assignments?” A neurotypical person would feel happy after successfully completing a difficult assignment, but with adhd, the dopamine reward isn’t there. Instead the dopamine is replaced with rage, frustration, and fatigue. A common thought I had after completing these assignments was “I never want to do this effing thing again!”

[@gemmawhite8723]

I've seen many videos about adhd ect...I have NEVER watched one that explains ME so well! Its just how I've evolved and its nice to know things can change. Fantastic informative video. Thank you.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome Gemma. I’m so glad you can get some hope from this video. 😊

[@richardmiseljr2413]

@Late to the Game when I was in 1st 2nd and 3rd grade in the late 1960's the teachers insulted and humiliated me in front of the other kids.

[@richardmiseljr2413]

@Late to the Game I agree there are some teachers these days that do that.

[@katharine8554]

@@richardmiseljr2413 that happened to me in 5th grade when I was the only one who failed the practice benchmark for math.

[@richardmiseljr2413]

@@katharine8554 It's a horrible degrading confidence killing feeling.

[@msbell221982]

This is me 100%. I’m at a point where I’m afraid I’ll never change.

[@fairlyliterary4771]

Same but if we want to change we shall

[@lovelybydecay7811]

yup...

[@felisha209]

Would like to start a group chat for adults dealing with these issues? Are you interested

[@fairlyliterary4771]

@@felisha209 what kinda group chat?

[@theseeker1237]

Seek every avenue for help. I didn't, I'm 64, and my life has been a nightmare of every form of mental illness. I'm ready for the next life that may or may not come after death. Please seek help, you will get better.

[@Puffie40]

This was very insightful. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and you just described my core beliefs. They have started to change a little as I started out on my career, but emotional support is extremely important to combat those beliefs. The thing to keep in mind with ADHD (and low self-esteem in general) is it makes you emotionally vulnerable to toxic people, especially narcissists, who will take your insecurities and beat you over the head with them to manipulate you. Not only does it give the toxic person what they want, it feeds those beliefs and even turns then into something more difficult to work with. You need to protect yourself from this and get away from that situation if you are in it.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re absolutely right Puffie. You have enough things working against you when it comes to your environment making you feel bad about yourself. You don’t need to be torn down any further from a relationship.

[@destinationunderground6006]

Holy fuck! Wow. This part of my life just got validated big time.

[@Ender-Corbin]

And this just confirms my plans to quite my current job. Toxic and have 2 narcissists working their. It's a nightmare. By weeks end I sometimes call off I'm so emotionally numb.

[@surayaarends478]

Wow i found myself in that situation. I thank God that i built up enough courage to leave the relationship. When i look back i am amazed.

[@SharlenesJourney]

You just explained my life 🙏🏾😔

[@repeatman]

I've been told early in life that I have a learning disability. Yes, I get depressed. But, now, I run someone's business, can do auto repair, electrical repair, basic plumbing repair, I live on my own. Seeing a therapist was the best thing I've ever done!

[@steelcityrailroad5095]

Sounds like me, I sucked in school but ruled in shop class and am very mechanical. Everyone tells me I do very good work and a perfectionist, but back in my mind, I feel like I'm inadequate and not good enough.

[@JaneThatcher89]

May I ask what type of therapy helped you so greatly?

[@naimanicholson-lovejoy2725]

My mind is blown. I recently got an ADHD diagnosis (at the age of 46) and I just thought I was stuck for life with my inability to be successful at some of the most important parts of my life. And now to realize that that is a lie?? That I'm not a bad person and I really can be successful?? I think I'm going to cry!

[@gemstonerose4648]

Watching this had brought me to tears. I only got diagnosed over a year ago at 26 but I sometimes think the damage that living life in a strict and academic setting with undiagnosed ADHD caused is sometimes too much to fix

[@Dancestar1981]

I was diagnosed this year at 40

[@ilyasskb821]

Same as you ,and i am struggling with my final college exam that i have already failed 2 times because i just can't study enough , nor sleep well. Sometimes i wish for an apocalyptical event that would just make life more stimulating.

[@Briemerald]

You got this👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾

[@dekoener485]

I was diagnosed at 40 and I’m 50 now.

[@polarevolta]

My condolences. I was diagnosed at 7 years old. It didn't help me one bit.

[@isarose1237]

I was nearly in tears watching this because she hit every nail on the head. I've always felt inadequate and like a failure for not measuring up to others. Even now, as an adult and being aware that it's a disorder causing my issues, I can't seem to get a grip on it. Even my parents, who are aware of my ADHD, don't really understand how hard it is. They just tell me I need to try harder and it's exhausting trying to fit their expectations. They don't mean to make me feel worse, they just don't understand it.

[@douglasduda9826]

Yea, I have had diagnosed adhd for a long time and even did research a few years ago to learn more. It got to the point thought where, the more I learned the worse I felt, so I stopped. Even though my Dad has ADHD he is the Fight type and I am flight. So that is something, also everyone is so unique that its very different from person to person. This makes it really hard for anyone to understand.

[@Armistotle]

Seriously same here, it's a different kind of intensity to hear someone say it back to you, even in a video. I'm only just now coming to terms with how my childhood really set up my beliefs and self esteem for my whole adult life. You're not alone though, and you inherently have value for being here.

[@melodieneil712]

I’m w you. Just watched this and want to cry. I’m 66 and have lived w this undiagnosed until this year. I don’t give up easily and will continue to learn about ways to help myself. Please hang in, you’re worth it!

[@kathryncainmadsen5850]

So I have discovered I have ADHD at age 65 and I want to say I am most impressed by my ELABORATE ways of explaining myself to myself. And how others have characterized this...including therapists...has also been elaborate...and wrong. Knowing I have ADHD is SUCH A RELIEF. I feel much better about myself now. I've been doing my best! And no one knew what it was when I was a kid struggling.

[@Annii_Oakley_]

Congratulations! Welcome to our unenviable club… I’m super excited you have a chance at relief… best to you love 🤍

[@JaneThatcher89]

How would you explain yourself to yourself? Hehe 😂

[@terryg4415]

I’m 70 and just discovering this. I’m glad to have an explanation.

[@justice-keithlittle9310]

Recently diagnosed.. 36 years old. After years of feeling that I waste of air because I couldn’t bring myself to finish anything, or just find motivation to focus.. then having these thoughts reinforced by the people around me..this video literally explained so much of what I have been trying to understand

[@sarahplaisted5226]

Diagnosed at 34 in October. The amount of times I’ve felt worthless broken and different. Not to mention years of drug addiction. Thank god I got sober. I was attempting to self medicate and I just thought it was depression. I’m getting better each week. It’s not easy it’s a lot to take in. I hope you see now how it was never you .

[@user-wu7oj2oj4b]

🧡

[@ashley4657]

I'm in the process of seeking therapy. During my initial evaluation, it is the belief that I do have ADHD. I'm 36, as well. This video almost brought me to tears within the first minute. There's so much to learn about myself, and while terrifying, I am at the point where I want to better understand why I am the way I am. What do I want in life? How do I get there?

[@LIFEWITHTHEJONESES1]

Im 32. I haven't been medically diagnosed, but your videos really make me feel that I have gone undiagnosed for my entire life.

[@DutchOrBelgian]

I’m not crying, you’re crying! It’s hard to not feel broken when your world continues to shatter and crack around you. This was rather eye opening. I’ll have to do some research on schema therapy, my gut tells me it would be highly effective for me.

[@Cynomys1]

"You are not the negative consequences," is a great thought. It's hard for me to really believe, but it is a good thought!

[@JJan953]

Its true! Not in the way that you will not be affected by your adhd, but for me getting out of puberty helped me realise the negative things that come with being different as a kid disappeared. Then changing my own mindset became easier as I wasnt feeling as negative about myself, after which i started working hard at my job which gave me so much amazing feedback as they were really happy with the work I was doing. (This wasnt focussing work but working at a restaurant, where forgetting can be a problem as ive encountered but just working hard and being active is really fullfilling) after which I even started achieving my educational goals because I accepted my flaws so I could see that trying to work the same as non adhd people didnt work for me and i had to do it my own way. And finally finding a girl who truly liked me for who I was and not for the person I pretended to be in high school. Made me realise I wasnt incapable or unworthy of being loved. Stay strong as times get hard, especially as looking far into the future can be hard for people with adhd. But my experiences proved me that with the right mindset everything will settle itself eventually!!!

[@d.e.w.8676]

The ADHD curse: it takes me FOREVER to understand and don't get how others can grasp audio/educational aspects in life so easily. The ADHD blessing: I out shine EVERY ONE in creativity and don't get how others can't put things (anything) together as easily as me. Smile.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Yes a lot of people with ADHD are very creative. If you can find a way to exploit that, you’ve got it made

[@calum9250]

It took me 6/7 months of being told the same stuff, over and over, in different ways, in my latest job as a salesman for it to finally click. Took me nearly 4 years of my parents badgering me to start a savings account so I can move out to actually do it, and even when I'd opened it I was still draining money from it on a monthly basis just so I wouldn't miss out on the stuff my mates were doing (and could also afford). I didn't understand why I was saving my money and the urgency of it, fast forward and I understand but still struggle to not spend my money, or I just forget I had something in the fridge which has to be thrown out and the cycle repeats .

[@zaiddagamseh]

WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION to read my my mind like that?! 😅 this was so helpful thank you!

[@siboluhledlamini]

I wonder how many of us cried while watching this. You are speaking to my soul here, ma'am❤️

[@Lenguason]

All of these talking points describe me exactly, and I had no idea that others deal with the same experiences. Thank you so much for this video. 💗

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Yes indeed Brøadmand. You are so not alone with us. You’re welcome and thanks for watching.

[@mmoonman13]

@Paul Taylor you are an abuser.

[@killiansirishbeer]

@Paul Taylor Mmmh no just a bunch of traumatized, abused children who will grow up to be adults who are at more risks to be undereducated, to partake in substance abuse or some other kind of addiction, to suffer from depression (although I have a feeling you don't believe in that) and so many other consequences. But no you're right, people should hit their children every time they do something wrong or make a mistake instead of taking the time to take care for them, educate them, help them understand themselves and other and to teach awareness. Oh by the way, that last bit was sarcastic.

[@aussie4662]

@Paul Taylor Slapping is what people do, who don't know what to do. Instead of having children you might want to consider getting goldfish. They can turn out quite well even with an ignorant owner. Perfect for you Paul.

[@legal040]

@Paul Taylor you're insane, here you are trying to correct PSYCHOLOGY PROFESSIONALS and you're claiming someone else is trying to censor YOU? are you that stupid?

[@carhively7]

I really appreciate this video. I always feel as though ADHD is treated and brushed off as not serious or not real. I’ve been told by someone close to me that everybody has ADHD because everybody loses focus sometimes and that I just need to work harder. It made me feel like I was just one of the stupid ones for struggling with it since everyone had it according to them. From a young age I’ve felt inadequate compared to my friends or peers or other people in general. I fear I’ll be thought of as a whiny baby for struggling with something so “minor” and also fear that I am just a whiny baby who needs to get over it. It’s very difficult to find proper help and to decipher between my negative thoughts and my rational ones.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Hey Caroline. You’re preaching to the choir on this one. I can’t stand hearing people say everyone has ADHD. It’s just shows how much people don’t really understand Can minimize it as not really being a disorder.

[@theowlhouseseason3213]

I feel u, therapist gaslighted me saying that everyone gets distracted you're normal, my ass I am pretty great and just because some neurons didn't get enough proteins to deliver happy hormones doesn't mean im incompetent

[@VK-ll5fn]

Today I spoke to a family internal doctor about my possible ADHD, instead he told me that I was just a lazy person and that I should just change my career choices in school because if I’m not able to “study or focus” I should change my career. My emotional health has affected even more today. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even start searching videos until today. And thanks for your video, it made me feel better.

[@damielforty-two7891]

Family doctors/general practitioners have VERY little training when it comes to ADHD, unless they’ve actively pursued it on their own. My GP went COLD and snapped at me “we don’t just hand out Adderall here!” when I had mentioned that I thought I maybe had ADHD - hadn’t asked about meds, had just told her I’d made an appointment with a therapist to work on the mental/behavioral things… It’s still “little boy who won’t sit still disease” to most people. It took another 2 years, but I got diagnosed, and started meds a couple of months ago. If I had “this brain” 35 years ago, my entire life would’ve been so different.

[@NoName-zc5je]

​@@damielforty-two7891I came here to say the same thing. General practitioners know absolutely nothing about ADHD. You need to see a psychiatrist, neurologist, and/or therapist to get a diagnosis or treatment for ADHD. After you have documentation of your diagnosis then you can see a general practitioner for the monthly meds. A lot of GPs won't prescribe ADHD meds without documentation from a qualified specialist.

[@bw5187]

@@damielforty-two7891 Tragic.

[@gillfoster8385]

This is 100% me, 46 years old, and going round in circles and my self esteem is on the floor. Now medicated but really can’t seem to improve my self esteem, and it impacts every aspect of my life to the point that I’m getting paranoid that everyone sees me as not normal. My husband has reminded me several times, he wishes we could just have a “normal” conversation. It’s soul destroying and it’s beating me down to the point I’m not sure I can get back to being “me”, it’s time to find a therapist who can help me find some appreciation for myself, and help find “me”.

[@TheThora17]

I hope things work out in your favour💕

[@britjj5126]

At least you got married. I've lost hope I'll ever be able to be in a relationship. It's so hard to even get past the talking stage. Haven't had any success in the love department 😢

[@rohiko4433]

I never thought about it this way.. I thought ADHD just meant I cant focus in class and I daydream a lot, but this makes total sense now! I actually almost didnt click on this video because lately I've been thinking that I just use ADHD as an excuse for all my shortcomings and inadequacies in life, but I'm really glad I did. It's so nice to know that this is not something unsolveable, that I can get around this and still reach my full potential. Thank you!

[@99rylee]

I have ADHD and Im creative in poetry, drawing, crafting, painting.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

That’s awesome. There’s a lot of creativity in people with ADHD.

[@vicieski1853]

Also, I’ve never heard of Schema Therapy. Thank you.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome

[@lucakat9262]

@@DrTraceyMarks yes, great information! And Dr. Marks, all of the things you discussed in this video fits me to a T. I have all of these symptoms and have for years. Thanks for helping me to understand myself better. Now, if I could just find a great psychiatrist like you, then I would have it made. It is so difficult to find the right psychiatrist.🥺 But I keep trying.🙂

[@KristelD]

I would like to see you do a video on how adult (hidden) adhd has impact on relationships.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Take a look at this video and see what you think. kzbin.info/www/bejne/b6CqfH6Cerycj5I

[@sherrisolomon8673]

@@DrTraceyMarks I hope this question isn't it to awkward but is this situation common in people with the space cadet aka dingbat syndrome?

[@leroy77ruler21]

"STAY SINGLE " HAVE A GOOD TIME SELF PLEASURE UR SELF WITH TOYS ...X LEARN MORE ABOUT WHAT THE WORLD HAS TO OFFER ..XXX

[@carolinaavelar1939]

Oliver Baby ADHD Oliver Baby Ollie ADHD the Speech Oliver Baby ADHD the Speech Oliver Baby ADHD the Speech Oliver Baby ADHD the Speech Oliver Baby ADHD the Speech Oliver Baby ADHD the Speech Oliver

[@SomeDudeThinksSomething]

I‘m almost 40 years old and got diagnosed with ADHD just 2 months ago. You discribe so many aspects of my problems in your videos! I never had a clue what‘s wrong and finally I find out that it‘s symptoms of a brain problem and not the core of an entirely flawed character.

[@amgirl4286]

Me too, not diagnosed until 40. Having a hard time figuring out which meds to take. Should I feel different on. Adderall ? I have never been hyperactive and I think that’s why they missed it in school.

[@EdParadis]

ditto. Finally diagnosed at 40 after years of "suspecting it" but everyone just telling me "you just need to try harder" or comparing myself to others. This video helped, a lot. but honestly, even some of the people I compare myself too also have ADHD and they somehow make it work better than I. :( It's hard to break that cycle Dr. Marks talks about.

[@donabaypro6782]

55 years of going through this. You have given me one of the best understandings of myself. Thank you.

[@johnroekoek12345]

Holy moly. She has been reading my diary. I'm impressed.

[@cinnakeebz526]

Wow. I am a student in highschool with extremely low esteem and I have never seen someone describe my emotional behavior so accurately. I criticize myself so much to the point where I can’t even SEE the many things i’ve accomplished. Wishing people to understand everyday, every mishap I make and restraining myself incredibly to fit in.

[@Tests]

I want to cry but I can't. I wish I found you earlier :( This is basically the story of my life. I never knew I had ADD. I am 33 years old. My life has been so wasted T.T

[@FreeVoic3]

Hey it's never too late and time 'wasted' is still useful experience! Accept it and look to the future with hope. You got this. You're okay you can do it

[@hollaatmsv]

I relate. I found out at 48!

[@crimebrulee]

I found out last year when I was 35 and suddenly my life made sense. I also think I went through the stages of grief. Lol Denial over having ADHD, Anger because I didn't get help as a child, Depression for "what could have been" .. etc. A year later I'm doing much better and I sincerely hope you are too.

[@danpro4519]

I just had a thought that ADHD is easier to dismiss in yourself when you're younger. I always told myself "I'm sure I'll figure this out when I'm ___ years old." But as time goes on, you realize that the patterns that get built won't go away on their own, and you feel completely stuck with a sense of a defective self. That's my experience, anyway.

[@Fazal12d]

scary when a video on youtube describes your entire Mindset So Perfectly, dont worry man i feel the same way.

[@jeffbriem]

This hit me so hard right in the feels. Untreated ADHD had me end up in a hospital for depression. I felt like such a useless failure. Getting treatment for ADHD did change my life and I’ve never gotten back to that place but it’s still a daily struggle that many people don’t even think is real.

[@valiantshadow89]

I have been struggling my whole life. I just turned 33. I only recently met some people who, through lots of open discussion and experience, made me realize that I might have ADHD. I just discovered your videos recently, and I swear to God, it’s like you’re describing my life thus far to a T. I’m so frustrated, that this might be what was going on with me for so long, and I never knew. I’m trying to set something up with a psychiatrist soon, so I can get evaluated. I’m so tired of living like this. I really need help.

[@carminedimaro524]

I've always truly believed that "nothing ever works out for me" and never connected it to my lifelong struggle with ADHD. Thank you so much for making the connection, Dr. Marks.

[@thekeytotheend]

When I started my anti-depressants, I began to notice I was late a lot more and couldn't focus in classes, I always did my projects the night before, and stayed up as late as I could to finish them. Then I was recommended to see an ADHD specialist, and surprise, I had moderate combined ADHD. Now I am on ADHD medication, and still, there are those things that are present. This explains so much for me, I just thought for the longest time there was something wrong with me. I was never diagnosed as a kid and had a tough time focuses and working in classroom environments, I worked as hard as I could but sometimes I would just forget things and be punished for them. Like this one teacher I had, when I was in grade 5 had us do multiplication sheets every couple of days, but sometimes I would forget to take them home or forget to bring them back to school. She had this counter on the board that if we didn't do them, we would get a point on the board, and when we reached 5 we had to miss recess and do "catch up" homework. After a few weeks I had ended up with 5 points on the board, and I had to stay behind and talk to the teacher about why I didn't hand them in, but I didn't have a reason and she wouldn't accept "I don't know" which lead to me crying because there was nothing else I could say other than I forgot, which lead to her asking why I forgot... which obviously I didn't have an answer for either.

[@haidenmorgan]

She sounds crazy lol I hope you didn't take her too seriously

[@WifeofFearless]

Thank you for this. I have never watched a video that was so validating for me. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 20. I was high functioning and an A student so on the outside no-one would have guessed how much I was really struggling. I believe my perfectionism drove me to succeed despite the extra challenges I faced but I also told people "there's something wrong with me" and "I'm not actually that smart. I just work hard." because I would spend six hours doing what one of my peers could complete in 30 minutes. I have excessive difficulty getting started on projects and starting major life changes (like going back to school and finding a new job) because I have such a negative association with the anxiety and the emotional pain I've felt in the past. I'm still learning how to manage my anxiety without completely avoiding things and it's a challenge.

[@scienceguy6918]

This is me too! I finished high school with a 95% and everyone thought I was the smartest guy but it’s just because I worked hard! I think I have a lot of problems but no one can see them!

[@DJM3KS]

This is me. I feel like everyone around me has it all together and winning and I'm a loser. I'm almost 40 and only realising now that I had ADHD

[@musebychloe]

this is literally me to a t! im currently a junior in college with a 3.8 gpa. ive literally excelled in my academics but it has been almost physically painful and exhausting to do so. i recently told my friend i had adhd and she was so shocked, saying that she never would’ve guessed and that i have always kept it together. but underneath it all i deal with so much self doubt and the emotional turmoil from that leaves me so depressed.

[@TheDevilRunner7]

Wild how a lot of people have such similar experiences, me included. I was also diagnosed at 20. 100% high functioning. But goddamn, my emotional issues were slowly taking over in my last year of undergrad. Now I'm totally medicated and am now in grad school. We've got this. Just have to keep rolling and finding what works

[@AlexandrosSpyropoulos]

This video made me cry... a lot. I haven't been diagnosed with ADHD. My therapist mentioned that I might have ADD, but I haven't got an official diagnosis on that, and honestly, I have no idea how to get one, and I want to avoid self-diagnosing. I wouldn't consider myself unsuccessful. I have evolved from an impoverished and complete unqualified kid to a paid professional above average, but I feel like I always have to swim upstream. After 20 years of a continuous effort to hide my weaknesses, I feel exhausted and depressed, and I'm burned out. I always think that I have to work twice as hard to keep up with my routine. It's painful to manage the backlash I get every time I mess up with my alerts and join a meeting late, even if that is rare. But unfortunately, this happens everywhere and with everyone, impacting my job and my relationships. I still feel that I have no tools to explain that I really want to be punctual, and my being late is not a sign of disrespect but a sign that I'm falling apart, and all the deterrents I have that would make me punctual have failed me. I think this is the most depressing part of my life. When I do my best (e.g. Pomodoro timers, scheduling time on my calendar for every task) and still fail.

[@mizz.wizz.fizz.]

Thanks for your wisdom Dr. Tracey. This video made my cry. All my adult life I’ve felt ashamed of lacking self-control, being a flakey friend and not able to stick to hobbies or activities long term, overeating or drinking as a coping tool, and feeling sad about never realising my potential. I was diagnosed with ADHD adjust over a year ago at age 53. I have so much sadness for younger me. Your videos give me hope.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thanks a bunch for the super thanks! I really appreciate it. It’s hard to think about last time, but I hope you’re able to make adjustments and have a different life trajectory. 👍🏽❤️ all the best to you

[@k-rosebouvier3359]

Hey there, you're not alone! I'm 59 and was diagnosed 4yrs ago. This video really hits home for me too. We have to hang in there.

[@k-rosebouvier3359]

Boy, this video describes me throughout my life. I'm glad to understand myself better through your videos. Thank you so much.

[@stevetrevor8859]

Dr. Marks, I’ve just gotta’ tell you: DAMN, you’re good. What an asset to the planet. Thanks for the data and time you put into your content. So helpful, to so many.

[@whome2289]

Stefan Hayes, I second that!

[@crunchydorito1120]

Definitely. Thank you!

[@malin9454]

A person would be so lucky to have her as their doctor!

[@rositayoung9445]

Doctor, I suffered over the years with this ADHD. This condition caused me to have a very negative view of myself! I lost so many great jobs and friendships because of this problem. Back in my day, people just said she is crazy! They would asked my mother, " where did you get this one from? She's different! But, you know what doctor! I learn to embrace being different. It was more fun and less boring being different. Ofcourse this this time, for me to feel this way. It was very hard as a child. But, my mother would tell me and others. Oh, leave her alone! She's got to find her own way! She hears a different drum from the rest of us! Now, I'm very positive. Try to see the good in everyone, but I will let you know. Don't play with me , because I'm not the one! And I'm a happy person(most of the time). And when I'm not, I think positive. Keep it moving. Thank you so much. I love your helpful videos. Be happy.

[@brazenbull5501]

This explains my life far too exact. All my life having the feeling of incompetence, unreliability, others being frustrated with me for not understanding clear instructions from professors/instructors, constant failures in my professional goals and pessimism cause a downward spiral of depression. I am now 30 years old and started getting the help that I need. Maybe I can now still reach my goals.

[@heathenshaunt681]

I can relate I suffered a lot of mental abuse as a kid and one of the things that damaged me the most was when I would get berated for screwing anything up I was told your not like other kids. That phrase destroyed me, and made so paranoid it ended causing me to not fit in and added to the issues of my bipolar. Mental abuse leaves scares as deep as any knife ever can

[@tarawright2650]

I am 53 and just now trying to unravel my mess of a life. I'm grateful for the diagnosis and I'm off to a great start! I'm so excited for all of the younger folks here. It warms my heart to see you all learning, growing and resolving much earlier in your lives. I'm grateful for wonderful Doctors, therapists and people making educational videos. Expansion expansion expansion!

[@hectoralmonte3629]

Thanks for that positive comment. I also have it. I'm 50, here's to a better life by being informed.

[@oscarhagerstrom]

I have watched this video about 50 times already. It really really helps to think that I am not my negative consequences. Thank you so much for making me realise that I am separate from the negative consequences. Your video is the start of trying to build up my broken self esteem that has been ripped apart as my ADHD went undiagnosed for so many years (until this year). So thank you for this fantastic video 🙏🏼

[@DrTraceyMarks]

50 times? 😀 I guess I need a follow up. I'm so glad it's helped you. I see what I can come up with for a follow up. I hope you have a great holiday.

[@noodles806]

“You can manage the negative consequences but YOU are NOT the negative consequences.” I didn’t realize until now that this is how I’ve thought of myself all my life. Now that you helped me recognize that, I can begin to change it. Thank you so much for this Dr. Marks ❤️

[@ImNotHereEither]

This made me cry. And I loved reading the other comments. I have undiagnosed early ADHD and was diagnosed in my 40’s. It’s been a journey of revelation and I see how I’ve developed strategies myself to combat many of the challenges almost by accident, but it’s never changed how I felt inside. You are an angel. Thank you. I’m watching every minute of everything you make about ADHD.

[@livelystones7773]

Are you taking medication and how’s it going?

[@mffnthief]

I love this woman’s voice, her gracefulness, the way she helps us understand our brains. Thank you so much ☺️

[@dustind4694]

Stumbled in here on accident, greatly respect your careful language and frank presentation style. When something isn't well understood, or needs a caveat, you just say so. When things can be clarified, you do so. A lot of psych stuff on YT drifts too far from the scientific, and plays into pop psych. Short lists, single topics, lack of waste in speech. It's admirable.

[@hobihope2981]

My mom' always told me "dr phil says you do things because you expect to get something out of it- you lose your keys because you want attention, you procrastinate because secretly you _want_ to feel pressure" It's taken years to unteach myself this, and this video has helped along the way ♡︎

[@shaun5944]

I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I am a 56 year old man and been sober in AA 24 years. Thank you Dr T M, your video has been very helpful. God bless you 👍❤️

[@funeralangel8262]

👍Great with sobriety! Hope you are well.❤

[@RandomStuff18181]

Bro its been 3hours plus I'm searching about this and everything makes sense now

[@raulfuerte5512]

I've never felt called out by every second of a video before. This one just did it.

[@Richany.]

Watching this video is like getting punched in the stomach with relief. It hurts hearing that this is me so accurately, but relieved that someone has articulated my behaviours and thought patterns so accurately. This was my first time hearing this articulated so well. It's all been like a chaotic ball in my mind that I couldn't formulate. Now, FINALLY, after years and years of utter confusion and constant failure, it's starting to makes sense. I thank God for your videos Dr. Marks.

[@TheLonelyMoon]

My parents used to be really strict with me, Asian parents and all, never understood mental health all that well. I kind of think that my dad had ADHD when he was younger, gramps would often tell me that he sucked at school till right before hs graduation, he locked himself up to study. As strict as they were, with my organizations, procrastination, bad grades, etc, they also recognized what I was struggling with inside, even though they couldn't see the possible connections between my bad habits and a disorder. Now that I'm older, we've made more efforts understanding each other, I got meds prescribed, two RNDI's. I think they raised me as best as Asian parents who didn't understand mental illnesses could

[@martinvansanten4417]

This is EXACTLY what has happened to me. Actually I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child but I also have Tourette's syndrome, I didn't pay much attention to it. Now, as a grown man, I have a HUGE procrastination and anxiety problem which has severely affected every aspect of my life and I don't know how to change it.

[@ashleyyleaveck296]

I needed this so badly. I've never been diagnosed, but I'm almost positive I have ADHD. I never knew that it could affect me in this way though. This helps so much. Thank you, Dr. Tracey♡.

[@Ender-Corbin]

I know I am, was in my early teens, took meds for a while but then went off them, bad choice as its only gotten worse in my adult yrs.

[@kathleenlovett1958]

😭 This is me. 😭 I have low self-esteem and have always felt defective. I'm 65 years old and feeling depressed defeated. Trying and praying 🙏🙏🙏

[@ailismckinney1750]

I am 54 and was just diagnosed October 2022. I’m being treated through adhd online I live in a rural town and there are no specialists close to me. I use an online council if site for therapy along with my meds. I would give anything if I had access to a doctor like you. No one understands how this affects me and my therapist is not well versed in adhd therapy. I love your videos and the way you present the therapy. You talk to us not at us or down to us.

[@SM-BSW]

This reminds me of How to ADHD's videos on the "wall of awful"

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Hmmm. I’ll have to take a look. Thanks for the reference.

[@Spring-lv7gr]

@@DrTraceyMarks I would be interested in what your thoughts are about the "How to ADHD" channel and if what she presents is accurate/helpful.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Spring 2020 I’ve only watched a few videos and enjoyed them. I don’t watch much mental health content on YT because when I’m not working I just want to chill and watch non-work related stuff. I wouldn’t want to watch for the purpose of critiquing her.

[@Jonathan-ck2nd]

I got diagnosed as an adult about 4 years ago, i’ve been off my medication for half a year now due to losing my job which in turn made me lose my health insurance. I just started a new job and my ADHD is making me feel like such an idiot when i’m seeing other people work....

[@marlowemichaelson1366]

I saw this comment nine months after you wrote it. And I feel you bro. Much love.

[@RoseRedRoseWhite]

Dr. Marks, do you ever sit down and like ever get hit by the magnitude of how many of us you help through your videos? Or how much easier you make it to move through the clinical landscape and get better results because of it? I sincerely hope you do. Because you genuinely are making A difference in mine, and I can't imagine that I am the only one. These videos on ADHD has been mind blowing.

[@BBHubbs]

Where was the information you offer 30 years ago?! I finally am comfortable with who I am and have managed, in large part, to learn to compensate…at 50 yrs of age. It took me decades to “therapise” myself (through abusive marriage, divorce, unequal friendships, being taken advantage of, credit debt, depression and half a year of antidepressants). THANK YOU for providing understanding to those who feel misunderstood. THANK YOU for helping those who feel helpless. THANK YOU for making your knowledge easily available to those who cannot afford a therapist. We are not alone and videos like yours encourage feelings of inclusion, hope and the possibility of solutions to our lifelong daily struggles. THANK YOU!!!

[@erikzarts]

I’ve just been diagnosed with add (adhd-pi) recently and this rings true. I’ve recently been doing some cbt and began realizing that I was always comparing myself to others at my current life stage. Consistently I was telling myself I “should” do this or that to feel like I had caught up with others. Fundamentally though now I know its a distortion of my self esteem. Thanks for the video.

[@Imawindybreeze]

I cried while watching this. Thank you for making me feel seen and helping me put into words what it feels like to live with ADHD

[@ohkaygoplay]

I've told people for years that I'm a defective human. I remember thinking all of these things - every single thing you said in the video - as far back as kindergarten, even preschool when I noticed at 5 years old that I wasn't the same as the other kids, they noticed it, and thus began the bullying and ostracizing. I'm crying, because this IS me. I quit doing stuff because I've always known I'll fail. It's been proven before. I suck. Nothing I do is right despite how hard I try. It's not enough. What's the point? It doesn't matter anyway. Why bother when I know everyone will just shame me, make fun of me, tell me I didn't try, laugh at me, prank me, tease me, tell me I'm stupid, and say "If you can't be anything, be an example of what not to do." - a family member told me that last one when I was 12 and struggling hard in school and life. Even though I try, those thoughts are always present. Always. It's like being in a boxing ring with a kangaroo and you're in a constant stalemate. This even shows up in the main character of my sci-fi fantasy book where he believes he's defective, because that's what he's been told, and he's not the same as the other humans around him. It's not until later that he realizes he isn't defective. He's just a different kind of human. He's not built like them because he's not one of them. Everyone else doesn't see the world the same way, or experience what he does, because they're not built like him. I'm at the point where he still believes he's defective despite being told and proven that he's not. He's lived with that for so long that he can't outright accept someone giving him the truth in a straight answer. He doesn't believe them even though it's very, very apparent - and the reader can see it. He can't believe it. It's going to take a long time for him to overcome those thoughts and schemas he developed and reprogram himself. However, he didn't give up on his dream like I did. He's a fighter. He fought through it all while still carrying all this past baggage. It was 200x harder for him than anyone, else, but he eventually - and in unexpected ways - got his ship, and his freedom. But that was only part of it. Whereas I don't have a physically-present support system, I made sure that he does. Another one of my other main characters has ADHD. It's easy to write for him, because I'm giving him my experiences, reactions, and thoughts. His twin doesn't have ADHD, but she shares a lot of his schemas, as they've experienced them together in a unique way. The only character who doesn't have this kind of past is the one I can't relate to the most - and she's the glue that holds everyone together. She's their rock, and absolutely necessary. My former writing mentor told me once that in order to find myself, I need look no further than the worlds I create, and the characters I create in them.

[@RobinCawthorne]

THANK YOU! This video basically summarises my life as a whole and I'd imagine many others who battle with ADHD. Big hug to you. Thanks for sharing. 🤗

[@annenymety209]

This is eerily resonant. She just portrayed the course of my life..

[@charlescollier3154]

I'm an adult 58 years old with bipolar 1 and ADHD and I never dreamed that it would be getting worse as I get older. Thank you so much for your wisdom and knowledge and your time on your videos

[@darkfenrir13]

i didn't know ADHD affects me THAT much, until i got checked and i started listening to your videos. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[@roberthorwat6747]

This had me gripped to the very end! I have never considered myself anywhere near the ADHD spectrum but there were too many behaviours, consequences and outcomes that had me thinking "that's me!" Not sure if I've just had an epiphany but this video sure as hell left me thunderstruck. Doc, you have my sincere admiration and gratitude!

[@alishasethi3342]

Thank you for service. I've never felt so heard and understood in my life.

[@laneyyy1898]

I cried while watching this. Everything in this video hit home. It made me realize something about myself i never thought about before.

[@foxyroxytm]

I burst into tears hearing all of this. It’s just so validating and explains so much. But it also made me realize how much help I need and how much work needs to be done.

[@superdupeninja8149]

If you’re unsuccessful in life how do you afford a therapist

[@josmclove4426]

Good question

[@Psalm_27.4]

@Super Dupe Ninja If you live in the United States, and if you qualify, based on income, you can get medical and mental health care from your state government. You may want to call the Department of Social Services for your county. This applies to United States citizens. If you live outside of the United States, it may be a bit different, but your country may have helpful resources. Hope this helps. (Edited for correcting typos.)

[@judithkimball2125]

@@Psalm_27.4 Yes indeed, you may also qualify for a neuropsychological evaluation, a sleep study if sleep or a lack of sleep is an issue, different therapies (behavioral therapy), psychology, transportation if driving becomes an issue...

[@amyavani7017]

Get on Medicaid. Then they can give you a list of therapists who can help you who take medicaid.

[@bigupyuself]

@@Psalm_27.4 Yes, I just google free mental Healthcare in my county and receive good help from them. They don't test or treat ADD though. But I found testing online for $149.

[@Stonktradomus]

So true. Just got one of my younger boys a book called, "Love the Fur You're In" (Sesame Street), with Grover. It's a great read for ADHD children.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

I love that title!!

[@squemus]

I fight this everyday, but this therapy has helped me. This and that I need to be a positive role model for my children.

[@sheagaier7582]

My problem is that I hate being told to think positively because it can turn into toxic positivity which I cannot tolerate.

[@johnroekoek12345]

Just now in a condescending voice:"Yes, you do it this way. But normal people always do it that way". I am glad I saved this video to watch again.

[@orangeorangeness2116]

This is so accurate. How much i wish someone would have explain this to me from my childhood years.

[@shymommie]

These are the reasons why I am not too tough on my adhd son and why I believe he doesn't have the behavior issues commonly associated with adhd. Now the way the school looks at him, different story, but thank you for this!! I will have him watch as well💙.

[@HyperGameDev]

You sound like a great parent for someone with ADHD! 💖

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Yes sadly schools can be a problem. I don’t think teachers get a lot of training on ADHD and how to handle it. And they can get so overwhelmed with all that they have to do they don’t have time to take into consideration individual differences and challenges. Especially when those challenges involve behavior.

[@ebisawkward]

This is exactly why I'm not sure I like working in education. There's not a lot in place to actually teach us about how kids with ADHD learn and think, and focuses more on getting them to comply which I hate.

[@shymommie]

@@HyperGameDev thank you! I really do try❤

[@shymommie]

@@DrTraceyMarks I recognize that and it is a shame. Some teachers go the extra mile to accommodate and are great! But then some still dont even believe ADHD is real 😩.

[@kimwalker8872]

This made me tear up. You've just perfectly explained my life and thinking patterns. Thank you

[@rogeliovaldez6594]

I know i feel awful knowing my whole 20yr life was wasted and i had no control

[@gonnfishy2987]

Yes. “This is how i am”. It’s understandable. All my initiatives have either resulted in disaster, solidified my negative self beliefs and gotten me to the place i am- dysfunctional, wasting life lying on the couch, avoiding things that could make me happy. I’m so glad that with help and supportive people in my life, this is being changed.

[@JorgeGordillos]

OMG. The healing effect of your words when you said "you're not the negative consequences". THANK YOU!

[@ef9447]

Thanks for this. I work in a high school, and this is a good reminder and explanation why we need to be patient and understanding with our students. I've forwarded it to all of the staff at my work.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Oh that’s great Eva you are so right. In the hustle and bustle of the day it’s so easy to forget and see it as all behavioral (lazy, apathetic, etc) I hope people on your staff watch it and are enlightened.

[@melisacicek8979]

I would love to see a video on how adhd has impact on relations, I’m stuck trying to figure out what’s going on with me.. love your vids!

[@Jasmate]

"Emotionally limping along" couldn't have said it better myself. I'm so self aware of my failures or perceived failures I fight to convince myself I am of any real value. I know it's the adhd but hard to push ahead from a subconscious level. Look forward to the next video. Great stuff. Much appreciated

[@TheImmortuary]

If you could only see my tears.... What you are describing perfectly is where my life fell apart. I did great in highschool, when little was expected of me with regard to homework, but university was a different story. There I was shamed by a professor. After the humiation I suffered amongst my peers, I withdrew, and failed out of my university career. It was only 25 years later do I finally see what could have been of my life. I had such high hopes. So many dreams. Such potential. And I wasted it. My teachers told me I was one of the brightest students they ever taught, I was pushed ahead grades and was doing great. There is a big difference between multiple choice questions, short mathematical answers and long essays. I just wasn't prepared for the amount of work I needed to do, and my strategy of doing all the work the night before failed miserably when I was also trying so hard to fit in socially with my peers.

[@reece3163]

Recently diagnosed at 28 years old - now 30. Still learning a lot of things about ADHD, how it’s affected me and why I think the way I do. This video really hit every nail on the head. Thank you for helping me to grow and learn about myself.

[@brightpage1020]

Thank you, Dr. Marks! Not enough info out there about grown-up ADHD. It was considered a “learning disability” for so long, thought to only affect school students, but of course continued long after school days have ended in our lives. Parenting with ADHD is so shame filled...

[@jilllogan1288]

Thanks very informative. I've gone through CBT & DBT counseling including group therapy it's helped but it isn't enough this really breaks down what is going on with me and why I still have a difficult time coping and making positive lasting changes. When I see my therapist shortly I'll bring this up with her. She's always open to trying new and different strategies. I'm going to do some research to give her more information.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Oh that’s great Jill! I’m glad you have a therapist to go back to and I’m glad she’s open minded and flexible. I hope it goes well.

[@tanukifloof2457]

I just sat here watching this and sobbed. I have been struggling so much to put into words with how I've been feeling. I'm 33 and have felt all these things my whole life. It's wonderful to finally find some answers and help. Thank you 💖

[@nvliaen]

Thank you so much.. I never realized how being understood could bring me to tears. Since I was 12, I kept telling myself, "I'm not defective," even though I felt I was. That hope kept me going, but repeated failures weakened that mindset. and I've been truly believed that I was defective. Moving from South Korea to the US alone in the age of 19 made things worse. Everything felt uncontrollable-insurance, DMV, banking, schoolwork, finding a home, preparing for a job, and adapting to a new culture. Socializing was hard because I struggled to focus on conversations even in Korean, so doing so in English was even harder. Mistakes were never allowed in the US as an international student, which always made me mentally anxious and stressed out. I couldn't enjoy life in the US because I was unsure if I could solve all these issues without any help. Relying on others stressed me out and made me feel inadequate. My host even said, "You'll fail in the US if you're like that." Learning was the main focus in the US, as so many talented people were here. But I realized I didn't need to be obsessed with living in the US. I care about the people around me and want to be good for them, but I can't be that person in the US. Sacrificing my happiness wasn't worth it. So, I'm considering going back to Korea to start a small business. It could be something impulsive, but I want to try something I'm good at and can focus on. I want to decide what I like to do, not what others think is good or cool. My mindset was dependent on others, but now I hope to decide things for myself. This video really got to me.. It made me look back on my struggles and how labeling myself as defective just made things worse. It's helping me separate my problems from who I really am. I'm starting treatment soon, I'm glad I watched this today. Your jokes always crack me up, and your videos give me hope. You're a true hero!!!

[@tacyak198]

For years I've considered myself ADHD. I display all of the tell tale signs and symptoms. I was diagnosed in childhood. But I am slowly realizing that maybe I am not. I am realizing that where I was saying 'oh its just my ADHD' I was really masking what I knew was the origin and that was an extremely emotionally and physically abusive household. I started researching cptsd and everything points to that resulting in the same symptoms. Disassociation ('spaced out'),hyperfocus, depression...high heart rate, negative thoughts about myself. I don't know now....I think maybe it's something that doctors and therapists should really consider during diagnosis.