37,804 Ways to Beat The Ritual (2017)

[@FilmHerald]

Many commenters will be maimed severely

[@okbudde4873]

wait, so you're telling me they can't just use a nuke???? you are crazy.

[@joenathan8059]

Try me

[@sod9204]

ehh I'm sure they could've nuked it

[@lucky9293]

*NUKE IT*

[@katherinemoya5586]

I will simply come up with a solution to avoid the maiming and beat you at your own game Mr. Herald

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

"If you suggest nuking it, I will have to maim you severely" Now we need a guide on how 37,804 ways to beat Film Herald

[@starhound45]

Just nuke em' from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

[@singulator2291]

@@starhound45 i didnt bring a nuke its on you

[@blacknyellow962]

No, we need to stay ahead. We need 37,805 ways to beat Film Herald or else we''ll end up like Dom.

[@poggersthethird9058]

No we just need to give him so many movies to solve that he’ll never catch us

[@renthearchangel9479]

Did you just expand your domain to non-anime-related videos as well?

[@rainbowlemniscate2761]

Step 1: Worship Elk Satan Step 2: Gather saplings Step 3: Use saplings to expand the forest's boundaries, thus slowly making your way back to civilization and maintaining your immortality Step 4: Moisturizer so you don't become lifeless husk

[@Local_commentor]

But what if the monster can read minds which in the movie he can

[@MrPlastyfikator]

Maybe it wouldn't mind expanding it's kingdom as a byproduct of this plan.

[@debreczeniarpad9956]

Its actually closer to Elk Jesus

[@Moetron_V2]

@@Local_commentor believe it or not the monster in the movie is actually a female, it’s a barstard DAUGHTER of Loki.

[@Local_commentor]

@@Moetron_V2 ohh no I missed gender a fictional monster

[@professorannefaire7233]

Someone should make like an anti-horror movie where they encounter many potentially horrific things but just make good decisions like leaving early or not being alone. It could be like a comedy horror where everyone in the group wants to do something and the voice of reason is kind of a joke. Then someone gets injured or killed in the group and suddenly they want to listen to him again

[@toasingtoast2034]

I think Get out is a good example of this. Just not a comedy

[@AmbientAgony]

Cabin in the Woods? Kinda.

[@cutecat304]

Most horror movies that take the protags making all the decisions route usually end up being super brutal because they also generally tend to have the theme of inescapable horror

[@Pandatoofu]

Or a movie like that from the view of the killer/devil or something fucking up all the time because just like you said they dont go into the house/forest or something and he just gets hella mad xD

[@SymonOnua]

Dale and Tucker versus Evil

[@renni9813]

No need to bother, here's how to beat the ritual: 1. Walk into the forest 2. See deer gutted and impaled on tree 3. walk out of the forest

[@mitchellsheridan5252]

Yeah, I’d abort so fast.

[@alexjohn7271]

nah their using the uncommon sense

[@durgapur_97]

That wasn't even a deer. That was some moose or full grown reindeer (?) of sorts. Just the sheer amount of strength needed to impale that there should've been enough

[@davidj3841]

@Z Hump From an outside perspective all horror movies seem stupid, because you know it's a horror movie. If a guy went up to you real life and told you he saw a ghost you'd think he's crazy. But when a protagonist does that in a movie you say "how can you not believe them"

[@shyguywearingtie5491]

@@davidj3841 Whoever would be wondering that must be a child or just really, really dumb. The problem isn't with someone not believing that there is a ghost or something similar after them without proper evidence, the problem is that they keep doing dumb shit like: - Splitting up when it makes no sense and they already know they are in danger. -Dropping their weapons for no reason when they know they're not safe yet. -Checking out strange noises by themselves, often unarmed, after finding out something is hunting them. -Going to rescue someone who the killer/monster dragged away like there is any reason to assume they will be alive within 10 seconds of disappearing. -Not telling others about something they saw that is a clear sign they are in danger for no fucking reason, etc. I could go on forever but you get the point. It feels so forced and kinda makes it hard to stay engaged when the only reason why a character would make such a moronic decision is that it's a horror movie.

[@tracyolsen5715]

Pretty sure they could have built a nuke with pine cones, mud, and a little digging around for uranium.

[@joenathan8059]

Obviously,cant believe they didn't do that. 1/10 garbage movie

[@Shinrakaichu]

Yep

[@kombat1275]

Alright saying just nuke it is t funny because he mentioned the fact that some people are gonna say that so it’s not funny

[@jaydenmatthews4656]

@@kombat1275 agreed

[@bificommander]

I really like the professor. He always saves their butts. He can build a nuclear reactor from a couple of coconuts. She said that guy's a genius. I shook my head and laughed. I said "If he's so fly then tell me why he couldn't build one lousy raft."

[@georgev3433]

What annoys me most about the movie is he didn’t keep the axe. That thing is becoming a family heirloom if I was in his place.

[@shepard1175]

Yea like I’d keep that Axe in PRIME FUCKING CONDITION that mofo stabbed a God’s Child

[@livingdeadgirl5691]

Kid: Daddy,why do we keep that dirty old ax? Luke: Buckle down child,this will be a wild ride...

[@R3TR0J4N]

Damn imagine the DNA you'd be fetching price for looking at it on a microscope

[@shawnheatherly]

Right!? I'm fucking keeping that thing with me wherever I go.

[@3rdWheel]

@@shepard1175 bruh fr imagine how much money you could make from selling an axe literally stained by the blood of a god

[@bluestofjays3763]

Step 1: Stay on the trail Step 2: Always stay on the trail Step 3: Why are still reading? Stay on the trail!!!!

[@zage5495]

*Never leave the trail, you will walk the trail.... F O R E V E R*

[@vincegalang7017]

Yep learned the hard way got lost for 4 hours i thought i was gonna die so *STAY ON THE FUC*KIN TRAIL*

[@oceant1457]

4. Nuke

[@sydssolanumsamsys]

lest a big spider cometh for you

[@Estrallio]

Instructions unclear, i wandered off the trail and now i'm lost. Help!!

[@EldritchNerd]

"Let's take a shortcut." "No." End of movie.

[@AndrewParker-ck4ft]

Fr

[@bilbert1031]

As i saw in a different comment, they use the uncommon sense

[@james8616]

Fur Elise but Elise says no

[@rolmodel12.]

😆🤣🤣 gawdamn

[@vee-bee-a]

[Hearing this statement from the outskirts of the forest, the beast makes a statement of its own.] Moder: Damn it! *ROLL CREDITS.*

[@onyx6774]

Characters: *Sees a Deer inpaled on a Tree* Also the characters: That's normal, let continue on our journey

[@FTZPLTC]

Probably just kids.

[@adamgray1753]

Nah, @@FTZPLTC. The disemboweled deer just tripped and fell up the tree. Yeah... perfectly normal around these parts. lol

[@FTZPLTC]

My favourite "probably just kids" is in The Borderlands. Apparently as long as the people who set fire to a live sheep are "just kids", it's not a problem.

[@grifiano]

If I see a disemboweled deer im just going to walk back

[@hypezoneninga]

Considering people are are thinking the Corona virus is fake it doesn't surprise me

[@thomashooper2451]

Solution number two is especially on point because the novel that the movie is based on spends a lot of time talking about each hiker's personal life. Luke spends a lot of time feeling jealous of his buddies because they all grew up, started families, found careers, etc. while Luke is still living like they're all in college -- no wife, crappy job that just pays the bills but has no long-term prospects, no strong attachments, etc. He feels alienated from his old buddies and society in general because he isn't living an 'adult' life. That is probably why the Jotun singled him out as a potential worshipper; he doesn't have much of a life to return to. In spite of that, he risks a horrific death to defy the Jotun and make a run for it. That, of course, ties into a major theme of the book: As long as you can keep putting one foot in front of the other, you have a chance to find something worth living for.

[@cyclops0vision931]

that end quote. i love it

[@mohammadabdelrahman786]

ohhh there's a book? I'm gonna read it. Thanks

[@summerxo6994]

Wow this comment is deep !

[@zaydsalcedo3009]

"They should've just nuked the thing" This angered Film Herald, who punished him severely

[@gavinlopez6258]

What is that from?

[@defensivekobra3873]

@@gavinlopez6258 Oversimplified, on world war 2 and hitler

[@fartsniffer9999]

AYYYY OVERSIMPLIFIED REFERENCE

[@iolanda_liang]

oversimplified gang wya?

[@bruhmazing2158]

What’s he gonna do with that mace huh? Need I remind him that I HAVE A NUKE

[@xraxo5825]

My solution is to never leave my house, all the scary shit happens when you leave your house or bring something cursed into it.

[@a_midnight_shadowuwu1811]

Then I highly recommend you to watch lights out

[@reicemo13]

Good luck with strangers

[@a_midnight_shadowuwu1811]

@Nicholas Jordan ah yes, helpful advice 101

[@Iianator]

Creatures that are born from darkness

[@Kamirasu]

final destination

[@16jms]

Another solution: Since the King's Trail and the forest are far up north and there are long stretches of time when the sun doesn't even set, he could still pretend to worship the Yötunn until summer comes. Once daytime is continuos and the Yötunn won't attack anymore, it will be far easier to escape.

[@Viewtiful_J]

OR just worship Sol until she brings the sun around and smites the Yotunn

[@tomgerrits2348]

I'm surprised this solution wasn't in the video now that I read it

[@AScottishCatholic]

Doing that would still lead to 3 deaths and its september 10 MONTHS from June not to mention the worshipers might still try to stop him plus he would have no idea where he is and would just be wandering blind for who knows how long.

[@wednesdayapril5435]

@@Viewtiful_J yes we just need to praise the sun to win maybe call in some sunbros

[@jamesk8730]

@@AScottishCatholic Yeah, I don't think this would be viable for 10 months. He would probably be brainwashed by the cult by then.

[@thousand_cuts]

You completely overlooked the main character's flashbacks. That's how the jotun chooses its followers. Anyone who carries immense pain, guilt and regret.

[@Say_Tin]

Woah ur 300 iq

[@thousand_cuts]

@@Say_Tin did you like your own comment?

[@Say_Tin]

@@thousand_cuts did you like _yours_ ??

[@thousand_cuts]

@@Say_Tin i mean, it's not bad, but "like" is a strong word.

[@Say_Tin]

@@thousand_cuts i don't even know what we're talking about. portbello.

[@i.turn.tables6455]

The Jotunn is this movie has to be one of my favourite movie monster designs.

[@chloe._.]

I knowwww. When we were able to see its full body, I was just entranced by how it moved. Clearly a lot of creativity went into designing it.

[@slevinchannel7589]

I dont say this for a Meme, but Nukes are way smaller nowadays than most people realize. Some are small enough to be carried by just a single person. No kidding.

[@AAhmou]

@Slevin Channel Those nukes are still somewhat heavy and why the truck would you carry a nuke with you?

[@shazam2826]

It reminds me of the forest creature in Princess Mononoke. Just instead of a human face its like no face i think. Which is one of my all time favorite movies and a top 2 ghibli. So not complaining.

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@shazam2826 ...Weird comparison much?

[@LochNessYT]

The criteria is for being chosen to worship the beast is: you have to have witnessed terrible things, thus the main character who watched his friend die is chosen while the other aren’t.

[@LochNessYT]

@UCgejtjwbUZRpRVc5FQMPvsQ yes, the whole reason they are out hiking is to honor their dead friend, who’s death was witnessed by the main character

[@Ola-cb1xt]

To be honest after one of their friends dies already in the forest all of them witnessed terrible things.

[@sofiacardozo4146]

@@Ola-cb1xt maybe they're not worthy because they where witness of these deaths INSIDE the forest? aka done by the creature's hand?

[@NieMowDoMnieCycu]

Maybe the people who blame themselves for something are choosed to be the worshippers? For example the woman, wich talks with Luke when he was imprisoned may be the little girl from the photo, that Luke and the others found at the old, abandoned camp. The girl wasn't standing next to her parents and brother, and wasn't smiling either. Maybe she blamed herself for her parents not loving her as much as her brother? Another example is Luke, who blames himself for death of his friend in liquir store.

[@Ola-cb1xt]

@@NieMowDoMnieCycu That's a good theory

[@TF2SoliderMain]

1. Dont hurt your foot 2. Call for help when in europe (usaly 112) 3. Dont go into a forest

[@cena51000]

4. Nuke the forest

[@TF2SoliderMain]

@@cena51000 he said no so no

[@TF2SoliderMain]

And most inportant thing to remember: Going outside to hike is temprary Doom on max setings and 240 fps is Eternal

[@TF2SoliderMain]

@@juanlilg no

[@TF2SoliderMain]

@@juanlilg now you are juat asking for a croket where sun dont shine

[@kraye_]

1:Call the president 2:Ask him if he can nuke a random Forest in Sweden 3:Nuke. 4: escape 5: success

[@duckquack5103]

E

[@kraye_]

@@ll_SLOTH_ll yes.

[@nicholasamaro8065]

Word

[@Troinkz]

I'm pretty sure I saw a nuke in the cabin they found :/

[@maplesyrupyummy7514]

6: turns out you were the president the whole time

[@stephenharris931]

I can really tell Film Herald is going downhill, I mean he never even once considered nuking the creature smh at this point it’s just a sighn of laziness

[@amirsargent900]

nice pfp

[@lawler197]

Just here to be /that/ guy, but every day is here to learn from! Sign. its a sign of laziness, Sorry.

[@thenigerianprince7017]

@@amirsargent900 you too dude

[@thenigerianprince7017]

Holllow knight. Nice

[@stephenharris931]

@@lawler197 just a typo mb

[@aljd5600]

the ritual, but shorter: “hey bro wanna go hiking?” “no” *credits roll*

[@cooperhawk988]

Pray to Thor, and hope he smites it since this kinda established that Norse mythology is real. Or Odin would work too.

[@neojenshi4055]

left us off at a cliff hanger

[@silent_stalker3687]

@Aster Antheus worse case, he takes notes and passes it around on Tender and Zeus happens to be on that day

[@chonks2936]

Just tell thor its a giant

[@generalgarchomp333]

Uh hey thor? There's a powerful Jotunn here waiting for you to hand it it's ass.

[@sowpmactavish]

Some Christians believe the old gods were just demons. Or this being could have been born long ago and just gained biological immortality and mutations through some processes we know nothing about.

[@dontknow6175]

Imagine a TV series where Luke and the Jötunn become close friends and go through the daily life of a Jötunn worshipper.

[@pats8443]

They start a KZbin channel lol “SARAH TOLD THE JOTUNN WHAT?! (Not clickbait)”

[@numberbndl3763]

Oh like a “What We Do In The Shadows” esc show?

[@Homieonice]

Worst series ever

[@jgweasleshh6788]

OH yotan.(A sitcom)

[@samorwhatever4485]

Jötunn destiny 2

[@callmetoasty2129]

This particular Jötenns name is moder, Jötenn are demigods, and don’t need to eat, sleep or drink to survive. They instead gain sustenance from worship. Moder has a psychological affect on those who enter its domain and can induce visions and sleep amongst other things. Part of moders affect on reality around it is that - animals will stay clear of a mile radius around the central cabin - Almost all animals (aside from some birds) will stay clear of moders area of affect and there will be little animals for a few miles outside of his domain (the pine area the main characters went through) - Moder marks the victim that it sees to have the most psychological pain

[@jppatrin8137]

Thank you for this, I was actually wanting to know so this is super helpful!

[@11thduelcommandment]

@@jppatrin8137 wha-what do you mean it was helpful, patrin did you become a god damn moder

[@jppatrin8137]

@@11thduelcommandment My goals are beyond your understanding now. Thank you all for participating.

[@11thduelcommandment]

@@jppatrin8137 Patrin. What the HELL DID YOU DO

[@jppatrin8137]

@@11thduelcommandment On the last day, you'll know.

[@Dressriss]

Solution 2 feels horrible, the guy lost his friends, and now he's stuck in the forest with a bunch of crazy people, a terrifying god and an awesome perspective, thousands of years of grieving x)

[@thecommentsofyoutube7265]

That’s why he said it’s pretty dumb and it’s a short part of the video

[@michealkeane8558]

I’d love to see a movie of some dude who has prepared for every horror movie event meet a ton of famous movie villains and just watch him maraud

[@slevinchannel7589]

I dont say this for a Meme, but Nukes are way smaller nowadays than most people realize. Some are small enough to be carried by just a single person. No kidding.

[@quardine337]

@@slevinchannel7589 noted so always carry a small nuclear device incase of kidnapping by an Eldredge god, giant monstrosity, witch, zombies, werewolf, aliens, or the occasional home invasion. Giant monster attacking the city no problem nuke it zombie apocalypses no problem nuke it sex offender in the neighbor hood no problem nuke it home invasion nuke it dog won't stop barking nuke it explosives solve all problems 🙌🙌🌈🌈

[@youarentyouwhenurhungry2379]

@Crow *Well then we just need to raid area 51 again so we can get enough pocket nukes to protect ourselves.*

[@quzar3291]

Watch the scary Movie lmaooo It isnt exactly what you wanna see but its a great one

[@RattyScorpion]

That's very loosely like Cabin in the Woods

[@evelyncastillo1094]

Look, the second me and my friends come across a cabin in the woods with weird statues we are turning around, not to mention waking up with weird shit going on. I don’t know how they didn’t immediately hightail it out of there

[@wescoleman6240]

Exactly, I would have turned back once my friend was injured. And if I didn’t by then seeing a disemboweled deer impaled on a tree would have me SPRINTING out of that forest whether my friends follow me or not.

[@tylerhill6664]

The entity was either manipulating their minds to make the forest seem bigger or endless, or changing the forest entirely. This can be seen in that one scene where the forest seems to stretch

[@blackdynamitemn3259]

So yall just ganna scroll past a mutilated deer hung on display as a sign to “stay the fuck out my forrest” even irl, that deer means turn around

[@SwegMastah]

because the movie had to happen

[@DivineC0w]

They couldn't even if they wanted to because the creature was manipulating the forest, not allowing them to leave

[@tajmahall1622]

Climb up a tree and drop a rock on its melon is always a classic.

[@broidk8291]

Maybe set up some home alone traps too for the big giant scary monster should work well

[@roguecrowdjl160]

drop a nuke from a tree

[@conservativeguitarsingerjs7937]

@@roguecrowdjl160 or even a shark would work. I think a shark could beat that thing. You’d probably have to drop a body of water on the monster first, then the shark or the shark would need to be genetically modified to have legs and maybe even arms to hold an M-16 and an American flag. I think mine had too many words and wasn’t snappy enough.

[@roguecrowdjl160]

@@conservativeguitarsingerjs7937 Just send a Salt water crocodile, with a NUKE STRAPPED TO ITS HEAD.

[@conservativeguitarsingerjs7937]

@@roguecrowdjl160 that’s all fine but there aren’t any muscular humanoid arms capable of wielding an American flag or a duel disk to blast your foe to the shadow realm so I can’t in good conscious get on board with dat.

[@ispirovjr]

Since we see that the monster can't leave the forest, we can assume that the range of the forest is all he has in reach. It's tricky but chopping trees down might shrink his range (unless it's something arbitrary and the forest just so happens to end there). If that's the case then beating the monster is as easy as shrinking the forest as fast as possible. And how are we going to do that? Well trees are not very nuke-resistant so that's a great option.

[@Dk-he6ez]

Better yet just start a wild fire and we good

[@thomas3224]

The monster could manipulate the forest as it desires. He only got out because the monster let him

[@sayorancode]

@@thomas3224 not if we burn it

[@lost7149]

They could've just nuked the monster, I can't believe FilmHerald didn't think about this smh

[@sanscoolson5125]

With love?

[@pointblank0303]

You have doomed yourself

[@hhgff778]

Yeah

[@charlesreborn1858]

i’m fine sacrificing an anime profile picture

[@sanscoolson5125]

@@pointblank0303 no I haven’t I AM GOING TO SPREAD MY LOVE (Famous last words)

[@jacobchandler3649]

Bright idea here: our main character survives by not going on the hike in the first place, instead, seeking therapy for witnessing his friend’s death, this would also make sense because most of his friends don’t want him there to begin with. I can’t say it guarantees the safety of the friends, but the main character would live and no longer blame himself for his friend’s death. (Sorry for bad grammar)

[@char5379]

What do you mean sorry for the bad grammar? You wrote in perfect grammar as far as I could tell lol.

[@deprimada3560]

Your grammar is perfect :)

[@501ststormtrooper9]

Your grammar is great.

[@valak9663]

Your grammar was perfect, hun :)

[@Vexin980]

Therapy only works if you want it to, and at that point MC doesn't want to get over it. He feels like he's getting what he deserves.

[@otakamerd1220]

The best way to defeat the monster is to remind it of social distancing etiquette and if it fails to keep a good distance, blast it on twitter and ruin its life

[@goodvibes8923]

Finally someone with common sense

[@brandonwilliams6221]

Nah bro, couldn’t work. The monster is clearly transitioning from being a human male to an elk. If you try and cancel them you’ll just be labeled as transphobic.

[@char5379]

@@brandonwilliams6221 "Finally, a worthy oppenent! Our battle will be legenday."

[@ThatBasedGuy]

@@brandonwilliams6221 I've just realized all the people he *cancels* were transphobic (by their fear reaction) unlike those woke who worship him just tell him/it that you respect the LGBTQE (E for Elk) community and are a social justice activist and a loyal twitter follower since 2011 BC

[@andrewjones9547]

then you find out the monster does not have twitter and only has facebook and reddit ah shite

[@_ella_bea]

"solve for banana" If that isn't the most accurate way to talk about math, I don't know what is.

[@thebestnoob7873]

He has gone insane with the title Edit: oh no he’s a genius

[@benjaminjohansen8836]

It doesn’t choose by random, it takes people that have experienced great emotional pain like a loss of a friend which you blame yourself. Cough cough, like the guy who got the wound.

[@ameliaj8791]

And that’s why the creature gives them “nightmares” where they relive their biggest traumas. It’s testing them to see if they’re worthy.

[@KmiloO13me]

Hey, that's pretty neat, good detail

[@thatoneviewer1553]

@@KmiloO13me Its also cool to note the fact that its followers must still feel the deep pain and trauma, unable to forgive themselves, to be the Jotun's follower. But the MC forgives himself oddly enough thanks to the nightmares. That's why he was able to escape. The forest ensures all those that meet the Jotun's requirements can never escape. Remember the forest was all fucky before that but as soon as he denies the Jotun and denies his guilt, he is pretty much instantly able to leave.

[@BuetifullPersun]

@@KmiloO13me Oh hey cousin

[@KmiloO13me]

@@BuetifullPersun hey, what's up dude long time no see!

[@dcbandit]

I love how much Film Herald emphasized that you can't just nuke it.

[@fernandoii8000]

Agreed

[@daddydevito4405]

yeah seems kinda stupid that he did like im sure they couldve easily found a way to nuke it like just call the president or just dig around until you find one

[@notcharging]

@@dimitrisergei1637 yeah, I keep a few in my cupboards

[@frankbeans6084]

@@daddydevito4405 lol call the president to nuke a random forest!?

[@Heyyourfinallyawake]

But what if they just nuked it

[@kadinwisniewski6928]

"Dom's knee is injured, it's hard for him to walk on it. So let's go into the forest, which is going to have much more uneven and and unpredictable terrain" I was honestly expecting him to trip on a big branch and fully break his leg at some point because there's a much higher chance of doing that in an off-trail forest lol

[@suavgod]

"We're gonna find out if we can help our characters without risk. Hi. I'm a shark" Wait wut??

[@slevinchannel7589]

I dont say this for a Meme, but Nukes are way smaller nowadays than most people realize. Some are small enough to be carried by just a single person. No kidding.

[@youarentyouwhenurhungry2379]

@@slevinchannel7589 *we just gonna use our pocket nukes then.*

[@azure3354]

@@youarentyouwhenurhungry2379 what is this? Fallout?

[@youarentyouwhenurhungry2379]

@@azure3354 *pocket nuke go br*

[@alialzaabi3436]

The monster likes people who have experience great emotional pain, and it might have the ability to control the terrain in the forest to stop people from leaving it since it took the protagonist less time to escape the forest than travelling in it, which indicates that if it's worshippers overcome their emotional trauma it gives them a chance to leave.

[@fancypants9558]

Or it has no power over them anymore.

[@asgarihanif]

meanwhile psychopaths : *laughs in no emotion*

[@Coramelimane]

Or you know, it kills them.

[@bepisthescienceman4202]

Jöthen is actually a therapist helping people get over there problems

[@aang958]

@@bepisthescienceman4202 yeah, just in a very cruel way that nearly gets you and all your friends nearly killed😅

[@zamm4062]

So many horror movies would be survivable by just.. turning around and leaving

[@roberteli5235]

I mean duh. But that's a boring solution because it's the obvious one. That's why the hypothetical situation is proposed because it would be more interesting.

[@derwillhelm3778]

Or just Nuking

[@em2546]

Did anyone else find it odd that Luke couldn't save his friend due to fear at the start of the movie and then all his friends die? I get that it was his own personal trauma from the start, but isn't there a WHOLE new sense of trauma that comes out of being the sole survivor of a cult/monster?

[@randomperson6283]

Each of them were slowly getting slaughtered one by one. Ever since Dom hurt himself during the 2nd day ( I believe ) . Each time he at least tried to save them they die. And all of them were literally going against each other all of them looseing their minds. Luke was now there to fend for himself .

[@ventii_kun]

4:55 He....He did it guys............Film Herald found a reason to use the Pythagorean Theorem outside of school! 😂💀

[@mysterious_truth6907]

Such legendary feat that will make him part of history 😶

[@maidenjoy194]

Take a sip of water for every 69/420 in the equation

[@adamhenrywalker]

I once used the Pythagorean Theorem to shoot highway bandits, determine their locations from a triangular position to mine to be no more than 7 yards and thus allowing me to effectively use a shotgun

[@Artak091]

Our lord and savior film herald has returned. This feels like that moment when Gandalf first shows up as "Gandalf the white".

[@theLOSTranger234]

look for the film herald's coming. at first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East

[@jammyboywestsidebigdaddyg6441]

Film the Herlad

[@danielmarko3258]

I like how film herald actually goes through several solutions at the end of the video while there are some how to beat channels now but they mostly just tell the story and then sometimes say "yea he should have went left here" or something like that but they never provide a full solution to the situation and this is how it should be done. Film herald is the true how to beat channel, everyone else is just an imitation.

[@pantheraonca2151]

@@danielmarko3258 your thoughts on *Cinema* *Summary*

[@danielmarko3258]

@@pantheraonca2151 both Cinema Summary and Nerd explains are good imo it's just not the same as film herald. They both rather tell the story and help the movie characters make better decisions rather than helping the viewer surviving a similar situation. For example the purge, film herald goes into details what you could do in a similar situation for example use a boat and go to the middle of a lake etc while others just follow the characters and sometimes tell what they did wrong. I like film herald version the best but its entertaining to watch the others too.

[@crazychris288]

And when we needed him the most, he returned.

[@ssmith65785]

Boi he wasn't gone that long

[@sinrotogt]

yeah thats just his upload schedule lol

[@itaohs5551]

Am I really gonna have to see this on every single video

[@crazychris288]

@@itaohs5551 yup

[@lumps17]

1:10 Oh- oh it's just gutted. The internet makes me jumpy for any bits of censorship I see. Thought that was a 4 foot deer schlong.

[@plebisMaximus]

Nah, you gotta visit furry forums for that.

[@mrsirgiy]

@@plebisMaximus oh god lol

[@hazeltree7738]

@@mrsirgiy Just wait until you see horses

[@kingofthe_humanz8285]

@@hazeltree7738 you had to wait?

[@jackdamascus4506]

@@kingofthe_humanz8285 you waited?

[@joshuaalan7580]

I cannot get over the way he says "fucking mountain" it sends me every time

[@kellie8969]

If we established that Norse monsters exist in this world, Norse gods must as well. Calling upon any one of the good ones, such as Thor, should allow them to rescue you.

[@starhound45]

But the question then becomes, how? Are there even any ways to call on Norse Gods? And if there are, you're still going to have to convince them to save you. They're not altruistic.

[@Vexin980]

If we're assuming modern day is after Ragnarok, then most gods are dead as fuck. This unfortunately includes Thor.

[@starhound45]

@@Vexin980 Why assume that? Maybe Midgard is just cut off from the other realms?

[@kellie8969]

@@Vexin980 Ragnarok is supposed to be in the future, but we can say it already happened. That means that Magni and Modi are still alive. They would probably help, as they’re Thor’s kids.

[@Vexin980]

@@kellie8969 You would need a way to contact them, given the Norse gods have a... let's say spotty record of responding to prayer. And yes Ragnarok is said to be in the future... and the prophecy about it was told in the past. See what I mean? It could've happened already. It could be about to happen. Maybe the heat death of the universe is actually the Fimbulvetr that precedes Ragnarok. In short? We don't know. To be honest rather than relying on the gods for help, it might be safer to try and protect yourself using runes or Seidr(Norse woman magic). While Seidr is traditionally a female thing to do, in theory anyone can. It's more about gender roles and tradition than actual capability after all. Even Odin did it, and he's manly as fuck.

[@I-Experienced]

Why they can’t leave the forest is because jötunn can change the layouts of the forest, they also have essokinesis which is the power to change reality. The jötunn is leading them exactly where it wants, as stated even by the characters when the monster somehow places its friends exactly where they are walking.

[@phobics9498]

Yeah sure. So you mean to tell me that he can do that but he wasn't able to prevent someone he was chasing leave the forest? This wouldn't make sense, Jotunn obviously doesnt want guy to escape so why would it let him, this would lead you to the conclusion that it cannot alter the forest in that way. When it comes to the second point, Its a god so I think that it could logically predict where they would be going and put the corpses there instead of weirdly displacing the forest

[@ScarsFromTomorrow1]

That's why you don't go in the forest in the first place. Like film herald said DON'T LEAVE THE TRAIL. I'm just a casual hiker and that's on the most basic list of rules alongside tell someone where you're going and when you'll be back. Nevermind a murderous monster, wandering off into the woods in real life when no one knows where you are is how you get dead.

[@ciarakiwi1437]

@@phobics9498 I saw suggestions that its' powers revolve around the emotional suffering of the chosen. What if the protagonist symbolically moving past blaming himself and attacking it rob it of it's ability to use those powers? Either solely on him or just full stop? It has lost a bunch of followers at this point too, perhaps it derives much of its power from the continued emotional pain they are experiencing that made it choose them in the first place. It makes sense that it allows them to live forever then, they're a power source for it. There could even be negative effects for the creature as part of the ritual failing and chosen ones not bowing as part of how the magic involved works, hence it really, really wanting him to bow rather than to have to kill him. Just spitballing!

[@dylanhalll407]

@@phobics9498 Jotunn allowed the main character to leave because he overcame his emotional trauma and attacked it. This is symbolic to the beginning of the movie when he couldn’t find the courage to attack his friends killer, which caused him to blame himself for his death. By the end of the movie he no longer blames himself and jotunn allows him to leave the forest

[@binyamindragon5813]

@@ScarsFromTomorrow1 If you did Scouts, then this is the golden rule. Be FUCKING PREPARED.

[@inickedurnan941]

What they should’ve done imo is turn around when Dom injures his knee, the safest and fastest route is the one already walked. Even though the woods seem closer, humans are bad at staying straight, so the chances are they’d end up lost anyway. Rest up on the hill for a day until the knee is semi functional, then start a slow walk back into the already known terrain, not wander blindly forward into an unknown wood. Edit: never mind, he basically said all of that for me 🤦‍♂️

[@plucas1]

Yet another mutant monster offspring of Loki? Dang, he had some really freaky stuff pop out of his various loins.

[@arcticdino1650]

I'm really starting to question why all of Loki's kids are so weird. The horse made sense, but the others, like Fenrir are weird

[@jamham69]

@@arcticdino1650 most of those stories start with "he turned into x creature and then fucked it". dude was clearly mental.

[@amplified1288]

@@jamham69 wasn’t it only sleipnir who he turned into a horse for? The other three were of him and Angrboda?

[@andrewwestfall65]

@@amplified1288 I thought that they found out Loki had been leading a double life and they went followed him one day to find that he had a bunch of random children, notably Hel and Fenrir. To my knowledge, they never really took any steps to keep him from going out and having more kids though

[@axiodile4623]

@@jamham69 Well I mean it's more like "he turned into X creature and then was unintentionally fucked by something else and he was forced to give birth to whatever monstrosity popped out of him after 9 months"

[@bineetroy4581]

The Jotunn marks people based on wether or not they have experienced extreme grief or not. It chose Luke cause of the store incident. But I guess they couldn’t tell that in the movie

[@TheStellaSkeleton]

Film Herald: "If you suggest nuking it, I will have to maim you severely." Me: "What if I did it anyway." *decides to nuke one of Loki's children as a solution to this problem*

[@firebeginer5694]

Oversimplified reference

[@TheStellaSkeleton]

@@firebeginer5694 Not even, its a reference to History of Japan by Bil Wurtz.

[@homelandenvironmentalriskc2787]

The Real Question is: Do we get Maimed Severely if the Nuke is Blessed by Odin Himself?

[@youarentyouwhenurhungry2379]

@@TheStellaSkeleton *we could make a religion out of this*

[@paatwo]

Hello Film Herald, as a Northern swede who has both walked Kungsleden (King's trail) and been to Sarek Nationalpark I can confirm that the trail does indeed go through Sarek's Nationalpark, on an actual map it will say Sarek Nationalpark but Kungsleden goes through the edge of it

[@TheUltimateCancerCell]

4:56 - Okay this is getting scientific 5:06 - Wait what?

[@cspringer1104]

Banana

[@RavenOnATree]

bAN aN A!

[@victorioussnake]

I'm pretty sure the first night was for it to decide who is worthy. I believe it determines who is worthy by finding those who have experienced great emotional pain. Also it controls the forest

[@kierondavis5053]

Thank you, it wasn’t as simple as just turn around, the being had control over the forest itself, influenced time and space. Our protagonist escaped because the being let him.

[@davidmontminy1654]

@@kierondavis5053 But how did he manage to leave the forest, at the end, if the monster had control over it

[@efain5028]

@@davidmontminy1654 re read the last sentence

[@KentuckyFriedJohansson]

@@kierondavis5053 If it let him escape, why did it show frustration? There was no real indication that it controlled the forest itself and its space either as far as I could see. There was no "we're walking in circles", the compass never acted out (it even lead them to the end of the forest as it was supposed to), and nothing was shifting in the forest or anything like that. When they showed the compass in the beginning I really thought it would having a greater use later, i.e. it lying to them, or simply breaking. They really likely could've just walked out the way they came, bad ideas lead to bad outcomes.

[@NutyRiver]

“Going off trail to save time” isn’t that how the Donner Party, well, you know...?

[@The_return_zone]

If he told the others sooner about the wound and the nightmare they wouldn’t have taken the path and just went 180 degrees back

[@gagecowart7157]

Another great idea here: Dude didn't want to walk because of his injured leg, but it is only 14 hours till the lodge. Have one person wait there with him, marking the spot on that god awful map they are at, and have two others follow the trail to the lodge to get medical support on the way. With it only being 14 hours away, they should have medical attention to the guy in less than 48 hours easily. Based off the tents and cooking utensils they probably have food and water, at the very least enough for the injured man and the one who waits with him to hold out comfortably until the help arrives, as the human body can survive approximately 3 days without water and weeks without food. So with this, injured man doesn't have to put forth any effort, they all get out alive, and they make it out faster than the forest path, all though it does rely on trusting the god forsaken map.

[@amneejoy]

Luke and Hutch literally bring this up in the movie, but Dom shuts it down bc (he’s a dumbass) he doesn’t wanna be left on the mountain without the two of them.

[@dh5661]

“I will have to severely maim you” lol

[@tictack2228]

Norse Pagan here. The presence of the jötunn confirms Norse Paganism 100% at that point. A jötunn falls under the classification of a “giant” within Norse Mythology, something that Odin had killed to maintain peace. Odin or Thor would both want to destroy said giant, and Odin (Who walks amongst mortal men) could easily come and kill the jötunn. Food for thought in terms of possibly communing with Odin on the matter, and maybe even some Norse Mythology homework for you Film Herald? lol

[@grxxmlin1628]

Did we all forget how the elk god controlled the so called forest. Remember the scene where the guys were like “they are all the same tree “ and the trees are so tall they couldn’t see the top

[@FrontlineArsenal]

So Rob is the guy who died in the beginning during the convenience store robbery, Phil is the guy naked praying to the idol.

[@The_Diminished]

Mhm

[@Secean]

As a swede that has traveled Kungsleden before, this movie really doesnt show how "populated" the trail really is, there are plenty of "fjällstugor" and usually other hikers every now and then, also there is phone reception all along the way. and even IF there wasnt any reception, 112 (our 911) will still work. So the whole story could have been thwarted by anyone of them calling the emergency number ^^ Also: The common swedish creepypastas takes places in Hälsinglands forests, not really this far up north

[@Samson16436]

Haha right? During the high season you can meet people pretty frequently along the trail. Oh and he got it wrong about it not being used in the winter. Så vill jag bara säga hej och hoppas allt är bra :) eller iaf typ ok. Hej då

[@cattythecat9722]

Yey, I’ve finally found ur comment!

[@pancake5707]

I have a *MUCH* better solution: Tell the US military there’s *oil* in the forest.

[@youarentyouwhenurhungry2379]

*as an american, i can confirm. we will chop the entire forest down just for a small amount of oil.*

[@sciencewizard2861]

@@youarentyouwhenurhungry2379 a small sacrifice to stop a coldblooded demon monster

[@book_worm6549]

@@sciencewizard2861 the USA isn't a coldblooded demon monster, it's a hot-blooded one :^)

[@sciencewizard2861]

@@book_worm6549 i was talking abt the monster in the forest ._.

[@Goosecognito]

Only problem. It isn’t in America. *Wait I forgot it’s america*

[@aydenD0Texe]

I usually hate “how to win/beat” but man, film herald is so charismatic and interesting when it comes to Literally anything

[@euriel2010]

Lesson learned: Bring nuke when camping Thanks film Herald

[@adamgray1753]

Yeah... Gotta love it when you go the "Apocalypse Aisle" of your local Mad Science store you can easily purchase any number of "pocket nukes" you want without any hassle. "Pocket Nukes! For when there is some creepy ass supernatural monster out in the goddamn woods who wants to make you their newest bitch whip out your Pocket Nuke and detonate it on them! Show them what it means to be human!"

[@sayorancode]

@@adamgray1753 yeah thats just a average day in texas

[@ichi6ix611]

I'm still waiting for the "how to beat X monster" to be a 2 second video of him saying " You can't beat it" and just ending the video.

[@Syrius_Li]

I thought this was an Aprils fools joke, but nope it just makes perfect sense

[@NotJeffJeff]

just pull a home alone in the cabin and leave the door open so the silly sausage creature will come in and slip on marbles... ez gg

[@cross_sans1395]

lol, and make sure to have the electric chair like in Home Alone 3.

[@SomeoneTookMyOldName]

And then nuke it

[@NotJeffJeff]

@@SomeoneTookMyOldName nuke something that’s dead? He ain’t gettin up from dem marblez

[@SomeoneTookMyOldName]

@@NotJeffJeff replace the marbles with nukes just to be sure

[@NotJeffJeff]

@@SomeoneTookMyOldName cmon dude please be realistic

[@smeva26]

he was chosen because as the woman says "your pain is great" so hes suffering from the internal pain from not doing anything when his mate died which is why the creature keeps giving him flashbacks of the event - i also saw another video that said the only reason the creature let him leave the forest is because he overcome his fear and stood up to the monster which means he is no longer what the creature wanted as a follower.

[@Flightscurryshoes]

Honestly this could’ve all been avoided by bringing a nuke, but that’s just my opinion

[@rainbow0027]

Right, such a simple solution. Film herald is just being extra.

[@elena.s1002]

@@rainbow0027 fr he just wants his 10 min video for the ads smh

[@anthonycarrillo5076]

Thats why i always hike with a nuke. The checklist goes water, granola, nuke

[@win968]

Hearing him swear about mountains and the map has to be the funniest shit I’ve ever heard🤣

[@dodgy_jammer281]

I remember reading about the jotunn in this film, apparently it chooses those that have suffered massive guilt or anguish and since the main bloke didn’t save his mate from being murdered the jotunn chose him

[@nathanielhanlon6444]

Here's an idea that is - while not necessarily more safe - definetely more fun. While the Yotun is slaughtering the village, then the time could be used to escape. While the Yotun is fast, it is not omnipotent, nor is it able to teleport. It also takes until the second night for it to find them; because of these factors, I would theorize that the Yotun is able to sense people as they sleep, due to it only beginning its assault once they - well - fall asleep. A few other things also support my theory; We see that the Yotun attacks people one at a time; due to one of the hikers being outside, that would be the perfect time to attack. It, however, did not. Due to the size of the forest, it is also unlikely that the Yotun would be able to reach the team in one night; so, I think the things done such as the mark of "Property" on the main character's chest was done by them in their sleep. Finally, due to the frequent symbolism of night, dreams and sleep, it would fit the overall theme of the Yotun's powers. If my hypothesis is correct, then the Yotun can be escaped during the massacre by doing the actually sensible thing and using the time it is distracted to get far enough away to lose it and manage to escape.

[@FlyinDolphins]

This is the first video of yours I've ever watched and as a massive horror fan and a massive jake and amir fan I appreciate the ben schwartz clips greatly lmao.

[@FilmHerald]

Did you watch the Ben Schwartz/Tom Middleton special on Netflix? Fucking loved that. Edit: Middleditch, not Middleton.

[@FlyinDolphins]

@@FilmHerald Yesss great improv even if im a little biased towards the lads. hope to see more videos from you and maybe some more J&A slipped in.

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@FilmHerald I dont say this for a Meme, but Nukes are way smaller nowadays than most people realize. Some are small enough to be carried by just a single person. No kidding.

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@FilmHerald I dont say this for a Meme, but Nukes are way smaller nowadays than most people realize. Some are small enough to be carried by just a single person. No kidding.

[@batlover1977]

This animation you made is beautiful I love Jotun running in the bg

[@strawberrycubes4774]

Hey uh- Herald, where did thos spikes go when you were sitting on the torso pony?

[@FilmHerald]

;)

[@Cannon6969]

Don’t worry about it

[@RavenOnATree]

@@FilmHerald oh- OH GOD

[@caitinelson2462]

I don’t think I’ve ever clicked on a video so fast. This is my favorite movie ever!

[@lukapetrovic412]

Epic

[@rihardsluu]

bad movie tho,.

[@thewhat308]

@@rihardsluu It was a pretty good take on grief and guilt imo but I guess the pacing was a little of at times. still haunts me though. AND DAT CREATURE DESIGN OH MA GAD

[@hinamori857]

The Ritual is so SO underrated. It’s one of my favorite horror movies as of late. EDIT: IM SORRY NO ONE TOLD ME THE JOTUN HAD ARMPIT JAWS

[@callmetoasty2129]

He dosent have jaws

[@calstarace1872]

That sun calculator joke had me going dude, that was the best buildup and such a casual punch line that I wasn't ready for, Good shit mate

[@master0fthearts894]

2:57 “He’s able to escape his restraints by giving himself a backwards thumbs up.” That is a secret technique far more powerful than Ultra Instinct. I thought it was lost to time...

[@domshaheen7356]

“Well, not this map”. “Worst. Map. Ever!” 🤣

[@jgjg5182]

Herald, they could've just built a nuke. It's not that hard, i've built 3. Haven't managed to figure out how to build a detonator though, so you'd have to trigger it by hand, so this is more a revenge plan

[@sayorancode]

i'm pretty sure the detonator is just a piece of flint and some steel

[@luhdle]

As Dom said in this very movie, "if the shortcut was a shortcut, it wouldn't be called a shortcut, it would be called a route" If it was easier to go through the shortcut, that would be the path

[@its2point072]

i have an assignment due in and hour i haven't even started yet. But this is priority

[@crossyright9493]

Bruh, you reminded me that i still have an assignment due tomorrow, and its 23.00 where i live. Bruh

[@ThatChristianMetaIhead]

Laughs in spring break

[@arifhossain9751]

I am in a similar situation. Hi five?

[@zvvilq63]

have y'all done your assignments yet? its been an hour

[@isaiahturner9289]

Did u finish in time?

[@kgt94]

I’m from BC too! I’m actually going on a hike tomorrow.... why did I watch this

[@plebisMaximus]

To know how to save yourself from ancient entities. You know, be prepared. How did your hike go?

[@Emeowy]

Did you die?

[@kyleenglot9184]

The coastal First Nations people have their own myths and legends of the ancient times. Ever been to Haida Gwaii formerly called the Queen Charlotte Islands but the Haida reclaimed it and restored its original name "Gwaii" means Land in their language. It's beautiful and definitely has an almost mystical feel to it. Never felt in danger, but it just has a sort of "power" about it. I love learning of other cultures and their stories and mythical legends they're quite fascinating.

[@NonApplicable1983]

I feel like the Jotun choses its followers from people who have deep internalized trauma. For instance, someone who saw one of his best friends killed right in front of him. Also, the girl looked pretty miserable in the picture, in contrast to her family, which I think could indicate an unhappy home life.

[@auv_guavs]

Finding out Film Herald might be my neighbour makes all the Canadian jokes make sense now

[@theidiotofentireexistence3170]

" For example our characters couldn't say... I don't know use a nuke to defeat the Yötunn because they don't have a nuke *they don't have it* " ah yes you have clarify that

[@REDandBLUEandORANGE]

I love how passionate he gets randomly

[@slevinchannel7589]

I hope my comment gets featured: I dont say this for a Meme, but Nukes are way smaller nowadays than most people realize. Some are small enough to be carried by just a single person. No kidding. No, wait, thats actually not what i want to be feature. This is: What bothered me the most is what even Reviews and Analysis leave out: IF I WERE TO FIND OUT that just One Being of a certain Mythology is REAL, then i would instantly use that knowledge. Knowing that one of these 'Sides' is Real, means that theres other sides! In this case even literally a Thousand More Sides that i can Ally with! If its just some generic monster or demon, ok, fine, but what if not? There might even, in the best-case-scenario be some 'Magical Word' that i can just utter to make me immune to the Thing! ...I'm really summarizing here, but: Get it?

[@sateleim]

7:22 it chooses those who have experienced some sort of great pain or emotional trauma as it’s worshippers. luke had that whole convenience store bit, so he was chosen

[@abeautifuldrawing8511]

Remember kid, always bring an emergency tactical nuclear missile when you go hiking

[@ButWhySeventeen]

lol but you could have just nuked the Jotun, they probably had one in their pocket

[@kgpspyguy]

If you can axe it, you can nuke it. EZ

[@matthewhubka6350]

Perhaps they could find a green rock, swing it in a bucket to enrich the uranium, and then build a rocket propelled nuclear missile in order to permanently distract the monster from life

[@ghust5317]

i feel like they could have used the worshippers as hostages by either pointing a torch to ancient worshippers until the morning starts

[@thatsabingo6695]

I'm not sure the monster would really care

[@youarentyouwhenurhungry2379]

@@thatsabingo6695 I mean he was very angry when they died in the movie so I think it would care enough to spare them till morning.

[@acloudofcurls5336]

"And oh boy, let me tell you about this *fucking* map." I'm studying Geography for my IGSCE exam, that's all I needed to hear.

[@javiermedina7663]

I really wanted to come up with a better idea but literally don’t travel through a forest with a hurt knee. Forest without a trail are the worst ideas possible. The only other solution is to bring trekking poles so the guys knee is never even injured

[@a1if]

How to beat The Ritual: 1. Set up a music festival in the forest 2. Invite indie bands to perform 3. Wait for the hippies to come 4. ??? 5. Profit

[@siebevanmeer2147]

4= nuke

[@LandelRey]

Coachela = Scandinavian Edition

[@stefm.5947]

@@LandelRey yeah but with nukes

[@Echo-hf9gq]

Whoa, I literally *just* made a D&D monster based on this a few minutes ago!!

[@charlesfisher-kh5sw]

everyone, when coming up with solutions, remember that they forgot to pack their nukes.