Foosball and E.D. and Tampons, Oh My! | Pretend Problems Ep. 9

[@angelfvce1262]

Saw Kelsey last night at the Comedy Store, great show! During her set, I could hear Chad cracking up, which would make me laugh even harder. Keep it up folks!

[@KelseyCookComedy]

Thanks so much for coming!

[@SeeStuDo]

That’s awesome.

[@Zach-vc4qp]

I had a dog once that my parents put in one of those collapsable dog crates in the garage. The garage door (to the driveway) was closed, as was the door leading into the kitchen. Not only that, but the door knob on the kitchen door was a bit fucked up and had a tendency to stick (making it challenging for humans to open). Well when we got home, the dog crate was collapsed on the floor, the kitchen door was wide open (with bite marks on the metal doorknob), and our trashcan was pulled out of the child-safety cabinet we kept it in and our dog had strewn the trash all around. Never underestimate a dog's ability to get into something, especially when they can smell something they really want.

[@joshsingleton711]

I love the end of Regan shows when he let's people request old bits. It's awesome to be able to revisit the comedy that I first listened to.

[@KelseyCookComedy]

Totally!

[@ericdeschenes1]

Matt's Bar is the only correct answer for a Juicy Lucy... I'm glad we didn't have to cancel Chad based on his answer. Also, you two were great on After Midnight!! Congrats Chad in the W!

[@KelseyCookComedy]

Haha thank you!

[@isislepord23]

To be fair to Kelsey, I did specifically give Chad a Tampawns chew toy for Mr. Po to try to stop the urterine lining craving. I guess squeaky toys can't stop the bloodlust. Love the podcast and both of you crazy kids!

[@Pastor_of_Muppets765]

Kelsey, Cook single-handedly changed my perception of younger, female comedians. Have you guys seen her on the Tonight Show? So natural. So confident. She has the ability tell jokes that are a little blue, and still sound like a lady. She delivers her comedy with honesty, and without trying to hard to just be one of the guys. Her style is greatly appreciated by me and because of her I have found some other female comedians that are just top-notch. Thank you Kelsey for opening my eyes.

[@Gixsir]

Go find her episodes on the podcast called The Crab Feast with Ryan Sickler and Jay Larson it’s some of the funniest stuff ever definitely not tonight show friendly I’ll warn you now

[@Pastor_of_Muppets765]

@@Gixsir thanks for the heads up. I am always looking for more stuff from my favorite comedians.

[@KelseyCookComedy]

That’s really nice, thank you!

[@Pastor_of_Muppets765]

@@KelseyCookComedy no brag, just fact. I was lucky enough to watch Chad and you at the Granada along side CY. That was such a unique and inventive way for two comedians in a relationship to perform a show. It was the first time I was able to see you live. But, I am definitely looking forward to the next. I think you guys are the comedy power couple. Thanks for all of the touring that the both of you do to bring your comedy to us. It’s great to hang out with you both on Wednesdays. Keep making them and I’ll keep watching them.

[@jeanking6662]

I think it would be funny to give Chad's comfort pillow an image of a six-pack or a skinnier version of himself.

[@KelseyCookComedy]

😂😂 we have to make this happen

[@1dkappe]

CT has some very blue collar (Stamford, Norwalk, Bridgeport) towns, and some crazy wealth areas (New Canaan, where you can barely see the main house from the gatehouse).

[@SeeStuDo]

Chad better never lose the comfort pillow. I demand pillow merch! ❤

[@tomgallier7245]

Kelsey, give Chad a stuffed tiger to replace the pillow. Tell him the tiger's name is Hobbes. Merriment will ensue.

[@Gixsir]

Leave chads boner pillow alone

[@SeeStuDo]

I’m full team pillow, but yes.

[@pihla01]

I know you're also joking a lot but your answers are actually so good and thoughtful.

[@patrickoconnor3893]

Kelsey…you should embroider “Foosball Groupie” on Chad’s comfort pillow.😂😂😂😂😂

[@mamalaufey]

My boyfriend and I were stoked to see Chad perform in Tampa on Jan 27 (at the same comedy club we saw Kelsey perform at a month or so back!) then found out it was rebooked. Hoping you're back down this way soon! Love the podcast!

[@jokerjason99]

Totally seeing you in Tacoma on Friday night! Looking forward to it!

[@BSFJeebus]

Also, I'm 40, I learned the hard way, COMMUNICATE MY ED DUDE, especially health stuff.

[@laurenvanraalte]

Wow, it’s probably a good thing I don’t have a dog. Don’t have to worry about my cat eating a tampon. Hope Kelsey isn’t too hard on herself for Po eating one a second time! Seems like she genuinely thought she was discarding them safely.

[@KelseyCookComedy]

Thank you! ❤

[@wonderboy7025]

I used to struggle to get my steps in, then i went and got one of them mail carrier jobs. Now, i get in a minimum of 25,000 steps a day! My legs hurt so much

[@KelseyCookComedy]

Holy shit that’s a lot!

[@jennabolmgren]

I read the comments before I got to the ED question portion, and thought people were referring to the other ED

[@Pollozapatos]

46:50 second, this is “pretend problems” so save that question for a Chad Will Solve your problems podcast😂😂 jkjkjk

[@Nocebolla]

We were part of a British Baking Show fantasy league this year. It was a group of mostly couples. We watched the finale in a sports bar and it was so funny to see everyone who was watching NFL games wonder what we were all screaming about. Our server had never seen anything like it. My wife was in the final, she had 2 ways to win and only 1 way to lose and lets just say... a leaning cake for the win???? She was robbed!

[@Gixsir]

That’s hilarious

[@KelseyCookComedy]

Oh my god this is epic 😂😂

[@jennabolmgren]

e) Kelsey, girl, get a diva cup (or the alternatives)! They’re so much better for the earth and the dog!

[@jeanking6662]

How about fantasy bake off, where you have to come up with ideas of what you would make. And what if you each had to make the other's recipe and not on the same night but when you have time and make a list or make a grab bag...new definition of potluck?

[@Pastor_of_Muppets765]

Cool idea. I might even implement that in my relationship. However, we will probably still have dominoes on call.

[@kailrush]

Kelsey was right, the term is "transitive property" for what Chad was describing in the beginning of the video. There's another useful and somewhat similar term known as hypothetical syllogism (if A then B, if B then C, therefor if A then C). An example of HS: If Chad does comedy then I will laugh/ If I laugh then I will be a better person that day/ Therefor, if Chad does comedy then I will be a better person that day.

[@KelseyCookComedy]

Hahah that’s an amazing example

[@jennabolmgren]

a) I love this podcast so much. b) You need a pod open tagline, I’d like to suggest, “pew pew pew” or “PPP” for Pretend Podcast Podcast c) If you ever need a designer for merch, I’m a fellow Minneapolitan and will give you a good ol’ deal. d) There was something I was going to say instead of C, but that’s all I could think of 💃🏽

[@lalah9481]

Chad needs a Snuggie blanket robe, perfect for masking his body dysmorphia.💖

[@claytoncourtney1309]

Chad mentioned that he did not have ED symptoms , yet. I believe him. THAT is the real reason he uses the pillow. It is not a comfort pillow but a cover pillow. I also have to give props to Kelsey for that, way to go!! :)

[@acz.17]

39:09 if you're going to see a comedian and your tickets show the same tour name as the Netflix special, pretty safe bet that the sets will be similar.

[@johnmossjr1898]

Still loving the podcast! I'm still curious why comedians always skip Louisiana?

[@Pastor_of_Muppets765]

Wow, what great suggestions to turn a boring night in front of the TV into a full-blown date night. It is too easy to plop ourselves down in front of the TV and Collett our couples time. I am looking forward to finding this card game, and I am even starting to think a little more creatively on how to spend our time together. Things get boring after a while, and I am always looking for something to bring us closer together and make us laugh together. By the way, watching both of your stand up, has given us so many laughs and references that we use in our day-to-day life. We freaking love you guys… So hard!

[@mikeyrocks8664]

I’m a construction worker and I won’t bore you with the details. But one day I put in 75k steps. Needless to say I had blisters on my feet

[@KelseyCookComedy]

JESUS 🤯

[@jessicafairfax_Bens_Bees]

Got to love foosball! My husband has a group of guys that have been coming to the house every Friday night for the past 15 years just to play foosball. And I don't see that tradition ending anytime soon.

[@KelseyCookComedy]

That’s so great!

[@weld4beer106]

Here for the party 🎉

[@claytoncourtney1309]

As I am not a comedian I do not feel I can disagree but I am disappointed in the response to Steve's question. I would think the special is the culmination of the work and once it is done you go to the next work. It is not the start of the tour but the end. At 36:52 when Chad gets an attitude (for lack of a better term) when he said "that's for you!" and there are people that have not seen the Netflix special. How many of the people there SAW the Netflix special and said "This person is coming to our town we should go see them?" Chad also said that you should ask if you go to see the comedian on a specific date if the jokes will be the same as the special. 1) How do you know the comedian will respond? 2) How do you know they will respond in time especially when we always hear "Tickets are going fast". I think, especially with comedy you must advertise what type (new/old) the engagement is going to be. You said the before you buy tickets ask the comedian but you should have also said "Before you buy tickets see if they have a Netflix special" or some other material to view. If you ask the viewer to do research or ask a question that may or may not get answered you can also suggest they find out on thieir own if the comedian has material that they will like.

[@rapfreak7797]

I’m having fun, are you having fun?

[@lalah9481]

The ED question is a familiar situation. I guarantee your wife was already aware before you got the medication. Communication can make things more sexy, and can bring you even closer. Intimacy is more than just the act of sex. Medically, and if the meds work it’s medical, she needs to know in case you have any side effects-such as a stroke!! It takes two baby.

[@KneeJerkReactions13]

This is the boyfriend? Bahahahaha. Okay you need to get real, Casper

[@samsmeltzer]

Pro tip for dogs that just insist on eating off the wall shit: hydrogen peroxide induces vomiting. My coonhound has tried to unalive himself so many times by eating sugar free gum (literally OPENED SUITCASES to get to it) that I learned how to make him throw up (from a vet, who felt sorry for me after 3 emergency vet bills). I use 1/4 cup for my boy- but he’s 105lbs. I’d say half that or less for your pup! Works like a charm.

[@magnetikal]

5-8 Club, because I'm from that faaaaar south part of Mpls. But that's only because of allegiance. I honestly think The Nook has the best Juicy Lucys ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And thanks for (kinda) calling it "pop". Hahaha.

[@carldesakson9643]

Regarding live comedy, just had this question with my wife today. We saw that Nate Bargatze tickets are going on sale in our city. We saw him at the end of last year. We saw him in a close city, not our city. I noticed it's the same tour by the name of the tour. The Be Funny Tour. I looked back at our previous tickets and noticed it was called the same. Like your email you read, we didn't want to pay for another show of the same jokes. We are skipping this show in our city. Hoping that it is the same. Do you guys as comedians always name your tours? I'm hoping that by having the same name, it would be the same jokes. Would this be true?

[@BSFJeebus]

titled > entitled

[@littlemissmaybe480]

Chad! Yes! We always stop at Nelson Brothers on the way to our cabin for the soup and sandwiches. They are the best.

[@jordanzurek8069]

Can you introduce the pets on one of your episodes? They’re precious!!

[@KelseyCookComedy]

Thank you! For sure!

[@vegagalactic865]

Thanking Kelsey for the disclaimer around the 29-minute mark lol I found this video via Kelsey youtube content, and this was my first time watching/listening to anything from Chad. I was hopping around to different times in the video to get a jist of the vibe, and paused to listen to the E.D. convo. So those little jabs were basically the first remarks from him I had EVER heard, making me the exact person that disclaimer was for XD Obviously assumed it was just for laughs but hey, still appreciate the clarification cuz there's some real losers out there and it's sometimes hard to tell right away 👍

[@kateellison4042]

Are we friends? 😂