4 types of people narcissists seek out

[@NarcSurvivor]

Narcissists seek out high value people, people who have something to provide. But also people with a lack of boundaries, support network and self-esteem.

[@mayleneharrison691]

Why are you piggy backing on the great work of Dr Ramani's? Do you need her followers to support you😢

[@divyanshsh]

I needed to hear this

[@kimberly0717]

I had self esteem, but until I was healing, I realized my boundaries should have been stronger! Being kind hearted and a empath, I should have been stricter.

[@yuu_miran]

Yeap

[@lisaz4411]

@@kimberly0717Same. ❤. It happens. Don’t beat yourself up about it. We are human and make mistakes. Now you know better and can do better. Stay strong ❤❤

[@lynngreen9637]

I used to think it was my job to do all the work in relationships, and my close friends and family members got very used to it. After I learned I was partly responsible for my situation and stopped giving too much, I lost a lot of friends. Now that I’m only willing to meet someone in the middle, the narcs seem to lose interest in me. I’m not cool anymore with being the only one putting in the work.

[@spacegirl226]

Felt. This. Deeply. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. The trash eventually takes itself out.

[@sushmayen]

Our needs were shattered. Our hearts were broken. This is to condition us to become needless person.

[@Ratgirl2]

Yes souls were sucked up by these toxic entities.😕😕

[@chellotrevino7323]

What do u mean by needless ? Ion get it explain

[@spacegirl226]

This was my entire life. Need-less and the cool girl. This video made me sick to my stomach because I was that pathetic person and allowed all those horrible things to go on either with my family, my marriage, and my friendships. The moment you stand up for yourself after decades of neglect and abuse and being amenable to every awful manipulation and behavior, you have made enemies of people who you thought you could trust and who you thought cared about you. The trash will take itself out once you say you've had enough. No more settling for crumbs. No more going along to get along. Thanks, Dr. Ramani. Hang in there, survivors. You will get through this!

[@user-ns6yc8mp4q]

There are still alot of good people in the world. Healing after trauma will always be ongoing. Remain aware and set boundaries ( hard ones where needed) give yourself a break often. Thanks Dr Ramani. Im getting it before 60❤

[@ceilconstante640]

This is a GREAT topic I've not heard anyone cover before but it's exactly what happened to me my whole life. It wasn't until I was seriously ill and literally fighting for my life with Autoimmune conditions that I started studying Narscissism in depth 10 years ago. If it wasn't for KZbin and primarily Dr Ramani but also Dr Berg, I never would have figured it out and began a long hard healing journey. Looking back, I can't believe how far I've come.

[@iainhittel]

I was/am in a similar boat

[@01splitpea]

A childhood of emotional deprivation and neglect left me suffering the same fate. Though less so these days, still, I've always felt "lucky" to be lked or noticed by those I admire and respect. I was called out on it several years ago, which was mortifying, but ultimately helpful to recognize.

[@Ammamuttu-chand]

What a wise person , to simplify the most complicated relationships in an understandable way. ❤

[@lauriedaly9458]

My motto as a teenager was, “If I can just be perfect, they will leave me the f¥ck alone.” This makes me sad to think about at the age of 61.

[@ingridmarrero8470]

Thanks Dr. Ramani it took Me 52 Years and You helped Me so much ❤️ to finally Get it!!! Blessings 🙌

[@cassandraandrews6656]

same here, but I always say better late than never

[@sandi2490]

Wow! I needed this information. Wow! My mind is blown! It explains a lot! Thank You!

[@ivy1913]

Ive been a needless person my entire life - “I go with the flow” I tell people! I expressed three needs very clearly to my husband: to be able to share stories I love (movies, tv), having a made bed to crawl into, and to be wrapped up in a tight hug when I’m letting my emotions take the wheel. In the end I decided I was being a nag, sweating the small stuff. I believed the illusion of the big picture. I regret not sweating the smaller stuff more early on.

[@dollyalexandratorres2031]

Telling a narc " this does not feel good to me" is NOT good..they love making you feel not good. In my opinion, is better to give a clear verbal boundary like " i do not accept that"

[@LKnaus123]

Well wow! All your counsel is really good, but this one for me was over the top…thank you🙏💖

[@faveri74]

Watching this video made me cry, it was like listening to my entire story.

[@stevensawyer5924]

My narcissist is a therapist in charge of the crisis department of our local mental health care. She is seen as a god for her incredible skills at manipulation... and I have to admit, that in a crisis situation, she is unmatched.

[@t_nels]

Not far down the road they cry that you don't need them. Then they become set on taking that out of you.

[@carolynmartin11]

OMG!!!!! This is me!!! Needless!!!! At 75 yrs old I am still trying to figure out who I am. Ask me......what are my needs? My answer has always been, I don't really have any needs other than to be what others need me to be. I was the 11th of 15 children and I did not want to be a burden. Go with the flow, keep the peace, don't be a burden, disappear, don't be noticed, don't be selfish, BE selfless!! I guess I knew that my needs would never be met so stop being selfish and accept that. I am 7 years out of a 48 yr marriage to a man that I did not know was a Narcissist. I thought it was ME that could not "get it right". I am in counseling now and trying to figure out how to take care of "me". This concept feels foreign and selfish and I want that to go away. But how??? Setting a boundary feels very selfish and scary.

[@Pamela-k5u]

You just described my life and relationships. Not just romantically. If you push back and say "no", you are called the B word. They claim you'll have a bad reputation. Primarily because they want to use you. After my emotionally abusive relationship, my ex called me and said "well, you really don't need much to be happy". Then served me with papers suing me for divorce a week later, asking for the world financially. Thank you for this video, it gives me a lot to think about.

[@sparkygump]

As soon as I started to demand my needs be met, she discarded me.

[@WhiteTomato11]

Yes sir you didn’t meet their needs anymore

[@t_nels]

I've experienced this French proverb as a core wound. It's like the Muppets Christmas Carole when gonzo says 'Thank you for making me a part of this!'.

[@ClusterB-Magnet]

For the first time I picked up her mention of attachment style. Never really honed in on it before until I started looking into Fearful Avoidants insecure attachment styles. Game changer.

[@arbitus611]

Oof. I’m the needless person. Gut punch.

[@benniecampbell3973]

Growing up I was completely alone when it came to my needs being met, I learned at an early age that when I asked for one of my needs to be met, the answer would always be “No!”!!!

[@lesabrydson2526]

Dr. Ramani for your encouraging words. Power Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150🙌👑🇯🇲😊❤️

[@crystalcole888]

This was my mother. This is my sister. My mother's life was ruined, and my sister in life has been very damaged. Giving is wonderful. Being generous and kind is wonderful. But if it's not tempered with awareness and self-respect, you really can have your life ruined. Please learn the lesson before it's too late for you. Took me years to learn it for myself.

[@Hodijo]

Anything and anybody that will provide them a shortcut. Nomatter the risk, the damage, the cost, the pain, the filth, and the consequences. They will switch from a homosexual to a heterosexual married man in the speed of light just for a house and a paycheck.

[@yuu_miran]

For types of people narcissists seek out- me, me, me, me😂

[@noellesimpson4142]

Really enjoyed this video, and yes, I did enjoy that last little story🤭Thank you!

[@eniggma9353]

I guess our date is off since you giving me this attitude again. Love you Dr.

[@gsimable]

I really enjoy your videos Dr Ramani. Thank you.

[@marysisak2359]

I went from a human being as a 4 yr old to a human doing as an adult trying to make them love me and get my needs met.

[@sianhowells30]

A close friend and myself have shared alot of similar experiences..being needless people ...we have a saying ..."Not no more" ..I know it sounds bit childlike but its a little mantra that works for us ..

[@Violet-jp7cd]

Needless that was me

[@dollyalexandratorres2031]

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!!! YIKES

[@SherryTomlinson-r2y]

Bought a small pie. Old fashioned no sugar added. Delicious then I read the back of the box 4g sugar! Yes I was taught to be needless. It’s still hard to ask for help. But at least I do try now a days. But I know I need to step up more. The games, the games ..

[@dollyalexandratorres2031]

YOUR BOIK ITS NOT NE HELPED ME TO FOCUS ON FALSE GUILT AND CYCLICAL BAD RELATUINSHIPS BUT IT ALSO HELPED ME TO FOCUS ON WHAT I BROUGHT TO THEM- THE COLL, NEEDLESS GIRL..NO MORE!!!!

[@LauraSHunt]

Yes, Cool Girl, LOL 😅 (Guilty and Recovering)

[@antoniohysell8077]

I have a friend who only text back when he wants to text back. He could ignore me for months. Then when I call him out on it for not being a good friend. He’s like aw is someone being a cry baby. Or he will say I’m just not a social person. He complains at work when other people get raises and says I don’t know how he got the raise. An he talks about the guy who got the raise a lot. Then when I say just work harder. He gets upset and says shut up. He thinks he’s the smartest in the group. He will be little his friends and call us dummies. Or I tell him that you could make your life better by trying and ignoring what other people say. Just be you , he’s like you don’t understand you are stupid. You don’t get what I’m saying because you are low IQ. Now would he be considered a narcissist?

[@annstar2793]

Yes!!!!! Jerk who doesn’t care about you at best!!!!!

[@antoniohysell8077]

@@annstar2793 I figured , he likes staying home. Doesn’t get out much but thinks he’s better than everyone. Doesn’t have to many friends.

[@C-Span222]

Thank you

[@sharonchristian8508]

What does ZERO need to become zero. Nothing from nothing is nothing. Took me years to unbecome what I had been groomed to be. I was just a passed around to be used.

[@uvr2024]

Thank you Dr. Ramani. It would be great if you do a podcast connecting extreme and covert/overt NPD with Marxism/Communism ideology politicians who are becoming experts at projection and hoodwinking. Maybe a podcast with Dave Rubin or Van Fleet.

[@robinantonio8870]

You mean Fascist, not Marxist

[@psource2305]

​@@robinantonio8870My conclusion as to the reason why most of the Marxist regimes out there have been objective failures is that this ideology fails to contemplate how narcissistic motivations, not to mention psychopathy in a few cases, moves a substantial part of the population to subvert a collectivist/sharing orientated system towards mafia-like thievery.

[@pangorban1]

Don't kid yourself. By far, the most narcissistic country in the world today is the US.

[@OlgaSheehy]

Not seen anyone mention it but people very high in narcissistic traits also have auto immune issues. My mother probably has as close to Narcissistic personality disorder as can be but she has both rumatoid and lupus, its in the dna regardless it seems. I think when things arent going so well for them it can cause a stress response that triggers it.

[@robertjames7859]

Narcissist don't seek out anyone in particular merely anyone they can parentify framing yourself as especially likely to be a victim because of something good about you is in itself extremely Narcissistic they're more likely to form a shared fantasy if you make for a good enough mother for them to separate and individuate from by devaluing and discarding but you don't need to be an "empath" healer type that's nonsense

[@lesliejoyce1944]

The needless trap is awful. My family and ex can’t even tolerate me using any personal pronouns for myself. They spin out.

[@antoniohysell8077]

Then he will say everything you have I could get if I wanted to. I just don’t feel like doing it. But if I did , I could be better than you.

[@sarinalight7422]

Sadly & Exactly, Enough What?

[@t_nels]

The beginning!👀

[@RobertEsparza-zc2ou]

Good comments,

[@AlonzoJ-pf4dt]

Facts

[@Intensity764]

Can you make a video to help us be concise? I tend to go into too much detail.

[@kat-75]

ouch cool girl. fb is stupid anyway and accounts get broke into regularly.

[@danielsullivan9622]

Religious upbringing ?

[@Ratgirl2]

How does it end if two narcissists are in a relationship how does it end?

[@merlinwizard1000]

17th, 23 October 2024

[@xhantidyonase747]

Needless to say.

[@crystalJewell08]

Can a narcissist really fall in love with someone??

[@lesliewillmann5035]

In their own way maybe. My Ex really thought he loved me...I felt like he did as well...but now I know it was not the love that I needed or deserved.

[@susankeith326]

You can only love someone as much as you love yourself. They can't love themselves, sadly.

[@swingdancinglolz]

No, they don’t feel love the same way as people who have empathy. They see love as a way to get things out of someone else. They may say they love someone but they really just love what they do for them or how someone makes them look outwardly

[@robinantonio8870]

​​@@swingdancinglolz my narc ex , when I told him I was as committed to him as if we were married ( after 6 yrs together and always being there for him fixing his stuff ups and supporting him financially, despite him never being there for me), he said " So I can do whatever I want then ".

[@swingdancinglolz]

@@robinantonio8870 lol, they love saying edgy garbage like this. My last ex once said out if the blue “I could have ruined a lot of peoples lives but I chose not to.” Like ooo. I’m shaking in my boots. I can’t tell if it’s pure bravado, trying to intimidate you, or both. But it’s so embarrassing.