5 Proven Strategies for Stronger Relationships with BPD

[@melodiejohnston9528]

I'm 71 and have been depressed my entire life; I didn't know it. The BPD thing seems like a fit for me, and it explains a multitude of things. I have shut down and am isolating, but still learning. Even though it is late, I appreciate the information and answers you have provided in such a clear, concise, and kind manner. Thank you.

[@dib4152]

Me too. I wondered why the depression treatments never hit right. I came across BPD randomly at 52 and it was a life changing moment. I got diagnosed and went through 2 years DBT which was great but Dr Fox REALLY gets BPD on a whole other level. I just bought his workbook to continue my journey and I watch his videos every few days.

[@PricelessJesus]

U can trust Jesus xxx

[@kengaroo5170]

I figured it out in the last couple of years. Thank God for the professionals on the internet.

[@feliciahodgson1773]

You got this..

[@TheSiegelayer]

That sucks. I have also been isolated for over 2 decades. I'm 50 now, and just now figuring it all out. I thought I had wasted so many years. I was single for 23 years, then met and married a girl 23 years younger than I.... And all my wounds opened up. I ran away once and almost ran away another 4 times. It's been some of the worst (yet, also best) experiences of my life! I'm finally in therapy though. We'll make it!

[@nilooizadnia3658]

Thank you for giving us all hope and not portraying an evil image of us BPDs ❤🙏🏽

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm really glad to hear that! It's so important to shed light on the realities of BPD and foster understanding and compassion.

[@nilooizadnia3658]

@@DrDanielFox it really is! And the most importantly is for us to stop hating ourselves! That's probably the biggest gift anyone ever gave me. I really appreciate you 🙏🏽😊

[@dracolich9337]

Thank you, my mom has it and she is so much better lately. No matter what she does I'll still love her. We've been through so much together.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful message! It’s inspiring to see the love and resilience in your relationship with your mom.

[@AllyssaHicks]

This is so sweet 🥲

[@aniyaruffin3288]

I bet she’s so proud to have made you and so grateful that you love her through it all. May Yah cover your family.

[@Bingo777-i8w]

I think my mom has BPD too. We don’t talk. I’m afraid I have it and that my kids will hate me too. Thanks for letting me know it’s possible that they might not. There is a chance.

[@Bobbycatv2]

Dr. Fox, I am forever grateful for you and your work. I was triggered so hard today, despite preparing myself yesterday bc I knew I was approaching this point in my cycle. I observed the thought and feeling come over me, and I recognized it, remembered that I prepared for this, laughed it off, and played this video. This is my first week of really feeling successful, and I can finally feel some traction under my feet. I wouldn't be on my way to recovery if it wasn't for you, sir. Thank you. Please continue.

[@cookieswan8584]

I found out I have BDP a few months ago, I started therapy and honestly is so scary realizing that my mind works different in a completely way than others. I was so scared to start searching and learning, this is my first video about it,thank you for making it less scary.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's completely understandable to feel scared, but taking the step to learn about BDP is a brave move. You're not alone in this journey, and I'm glad my video could help make it feel a little less daunting!

[@jayneprice5174]

I'm same situation. I got diagnosed last December and I've been researching it ever since. I've watched lots of Dr Foxes videos and he's really helped me learn more about the disorder. 😊

[@sarakavandi2107]

You are amazing. Helping me understand my boyfriend with BPD and I’ve become SO much more understanding and empathetic Can’t believe you dont have like 5M likes! Need to spread your page to the world

[@DrDanielFox]

I’m so glad my videos are helpful

[@andreak1514]

Thank you so much Dr. Fox. I needed that today. It was rough and I'm exhausted. I learned from this video that I need to get better at acknowledging my triggers.

[@DrDanielFox]

You are so welcome

[@yung_grubiyan]

shout out from Ukraine, Dr. Fox! My local psychiatrist recommended Your workbook when I got diagnosed. Glad You make these vids, gives hope for real

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you 😊

[@Christine-jg3hf]

Yes thank you so much Dr Fox God bless you always for a true blessing 2 and 4 all of us 💋💞🌷🌹💪🙏

[@Christine-jg3hf]

💋💞🌷🌹💪🙏

[@ColinTWest]

Thank you so much - I watch all your videos and my girlfriend has traits and your work has been super helpful

[@heidimichellemoenkhaus3569]

On behalf of your gf, thank you for caring enough about her to learn about this disorder so you can help her help herself. It means so much.

[@DrDanielFox]

You are so welcome!

[@lyn7424]

You are an awesome bf! God bless you

[@glarg811]

If i ever move back to texas. I would love to become your patient. BPD has ruined my life , however, im currently working on building my life back, and Dr. Fox is an instrumental tool for me on this journey

[@DrDanielFox]

It's inspiring to hear that you're working on building your life back. Remember, every step forward is a victory, and it's great that you have support along the way!

[@Xand3rCha0s360]

your videos helped me seek diagnosis and helped me to be okay with my condition I often find myself gravitating towards your videos when I don't know something or if I'm getting into a splitting episode or spiralling and next thing I know I'm starting to understand what's going on and everything feels okay again thank you for not making us seem like monsters, thank you for understanding we're just emotionally, deeply hurt people who never got to emotionally grow in a healthy manner, and thank you for treating us as normal humans ❤

[@Naomi-bw5qs]

I just don’t know if I can ever be in a healthy relationship. How can I expect someone to deal with me? I’m seeing a guy who is so good to me. I was having a breakdown and he said “just blame me. Just tell everyone it’s all my fault” I don’t know why but that really soothed me. So when my mother is mad at me I told her it was all Michael’s fault. I love him I think. He is there for me

[@AB-lp8jd]

I'm not sure about the blaming the other person thing. My spouse has BPD, and she did indeed paint me to be on the wrong in a way that was so shocking. After that incident, I knew something was wrong and we found out that it was BPD. I tolerate the fact that they did that (blamed me for what was their fault) because I attribute it to the BPD and them being out of control at that point, but its not easy to have to constantly fight the resentment within me every now and then regarding that incident. I get it, the BPD might cause the person to be out of control when they're dysregulated, but when they've calmed down I expect they should explain to the other person the truth, rather than acknowledge to me they know what they said was wrong, and just leave the other person to think it was correct

[@divergentmind2023]

Thankful for you 🙏

[@Paris6268]

Thank you Dr fox truly, been struggling a lot within I feel that this has answers a lot my issues I go thru mentally..I would avoid love ones destroyed close relationships because of my own ignorance & it comes off bizarre & off…but your videos gives me hope for good changes!

[@MrMarcoAlvarado]

When you have experience with psychotherapy as s.b. with BPD, somebody with NPD can be very helpful. Sometimes I think both mental disorders are the same thing just with a different shape.

[@aniyaruffin3288]

They say those with BPD are failed narcissists

[@MrMarcoAlvarado]

@@aniyaruffin3288 I don't like narcissistic people, but there is one girl.. perhaps she is the black sheep of the narcissists. ☺

[@monairis]

Thank you ❤

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@quinnin0]

I’m in the U.K. and have recognised I have strong BPD symptoms. Unfortunately I have repeatedly attempted to get help from the NHS for the past 2 years to no avail and have tried private therapy but it’s too expensive and quite unsafe. I hope others who live in the U.K. have managed to get the help they need or have found solutions to help themselves.

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles; accessing mental health support can be incredibly challenging. It's important to keep advocating for yourself and exploring different avenues for help. You're not alone in this journey!

[@mazermajestic]

This was extremely helpful

[@peterhoekstra2957]

Thanks!

[@boundkitten]

Thank you Dr. Fox for your work. I feel so seen und understood whenever I watch a video of yours. I feel hopeful to be able to overcome my challenges related to BPD.🙏🏻❤️

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@Groovinmegzz]

Thank you for your videos! So helpful!

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@Groovinmegzz]

@ just got your workbook and feel grateful for the tool! Thank you for all you do for us! I’m feeling so encouraged.

[@annakolla8777]

I really appreciate and admire your work here on youtube. I was wondering if you could also share something with Histrionic Personality Disorder. Because it can also be hard with emotions and relationships with that. It has some similar factors but they are still different in some ways. I would really like to know more about Histrionic Personality Disorder, how to cope and more. I got diagnosed with it and have been trying to know as much as I can to be better mentally but I find there to be less to find about how to get better and keep it as much down as possible.

[@SocialSirenSiren]

I just hope family can understand more than stigma, especially from their time periods.

[@PricelessJesus]

God understands x He's helping me 2 recover. He loves you so so much

[@lyn7424]

Thank you, Im not diagnosed but I have been struggling. This helps.

[@jamiesexton2522]

Sometimes I still get a little confused as to other people's motives, and I get scared about asking them why they said something. I have a lot of religious trauma, and when people tell me they're praying for me, it's a little triggering but I don't usually lash out. However, my sister in law told me "I know you won't like it but I'm praying for you", and that triggered me very hard and I lashed out for the first time in a while after that because she also knows the root of the religious trigger. That statement felt like she "meant" to hurt me, but I question myself due to the BPD. So confusing.

[@aniyaruffin3288]

Not tryna invalidate your emotions but you’re not separating the religion that hurt you from peoples personal relationship with their Creator. It’s probably usually nothing but love when someone actually takes the time to commune with their god in order to ask for your well being. Do you not hear how loving that is? Idk about your sis in law she could have just prayed for you without telling you. But honestly some prayer might open the pathway to more insight. I’ve found the Bible is a clear safe thing to base your identity around. Being patient, being loving, fighting for purity. These are values those of us with BPD could anchor ourselves into and it would probably bring a lot of clarity to what actually is right or wrong within your life. I hope God will be reintroduced to you properly. It takes humility to see why we need pure divine guidance, from the source.

[@60nerrr]

Ive been with my girlfriend for 3 years now and we used to be so happy together and I love her so much and i think she still has love for me but she’s lost empathy for me. she cant handle my anger anymore shes getting to a breaking point and I dont know what to do to save my relationship.

[@60nerrr]

I mean really the only thing to do is therapy

[@60nerrr]

But I think shes losing faith in the fact that I can get better and go back to how I used to be

[@joemoriarty933]

Dr Fox, hope you are well ❤ Have the journals been delayed - specifically in the UK?

[@DrDanielFox]

Hi there! I'm doing well, thank you for asking. Yes, there have been no delays with the journals in the UK. Hope you can find it

[@joemoriarty933]

​@@DrDanielFoxThank you - looking forward to it! I'll keep my eyes peeled. My Amazon pre-order has 11/30 to 4/13 as delivery estimate 👀

[@MyValki]

Quite the opposite of ASPD. I heard there is some attraction and compatibility between people with BPD and ASPD. All from relationships that failed after 8-10 years which is long for untreated disorders. Is there also any objective mutual improvement as they learn from each other or mimic each other?

[@chrissierose]

Please please can you do a video for people who are dealing with a bpd person.. because I am really I the dark . Like a rabbit in the headlights ..

[@DrDanielFox]

I have many relationship videos you may find helpful.

[@cschapker1981]

Click it once thats fine... Click it twice thats ok... Click three times? You're just playin' with it.

[@thekramer1097]

Trying to have a relationshop with somebody with BPD Its not just hard, is HELL

[@DrDanielFox]

Building a relationship with someone with BPD can indeed be challenging, but with understanding and patience, it can also be incredibly rewarding. Keep communicating and seeking support!

[@jeffjohnson419]

@DrDanielFox No

[@TCAPRecipes]

Im waiting to get into therapy to see if this is something i have or not.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's great that you're taking the step to seek therapy! Self-discovery is an important journey, and I hope you find the clarity you’re looking for.

[@TCAPRecipes]

@@DrDanielFox thank you

[@SuzanneLegendre]

As a BPD, I simply don’t seem to have a baseline. I’m constantly disregulated unless I isolate myself in my apartment 😢

[@DrDanielFox]

I totally understand how challenging it can be to find stability. It's important to take care of yourself and find what works best for you in managing those feelings.

[@surfreadjumpsleep]

Dr Fox. Is this really helping? People with BPD are notorious for violating their partner's boundaries. Pwbpd can take your advice and make it manipulative, turbo charged with therapist speak.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's important to recognize that every individual is different, and while some may misuse therapeutic concepts, many are genuinely seeking help and understanding.

[@cbmac1984]

Not using correct pronouns actually does cost us something. It costs us the truth. If I use their "pronouns" then now I am lying. I dot want to be a liar.

[@aniyaruffin3288]

What if you call a masculine looking woman a dude out of the sheer fact of trying to prove a point. You can have your values, I somewhat agree with you, but there’s no need to offend others by “misgendering them” it just seems like it would cause distress to both parties.

[@Bingo777-i8w]

@@aniyaruffin3288”misgendering” is not real. Sorry. That’s a made up word with the intention of controlling the behavior of others.

[@darlenemartim9972]

Plz get out if you are with someone w bpd.

[@Antoinette14273]

Those with BPD have a diffuse self/no real tangible or stable inner "I". So how can they use "I" statements as a go to? It is easier and feels natural to act out emotions rather than say, "I" statements. Asking those with BPD to use effective communication is like asking someone to do something in a foreign language.

[@DrDanielFox]

That's a very insightful perspective! It’s indeed challenging to articulate feelings when the sense of self can feel so unstable. Using "I" statements can take practice, but it’s a valuable tool for better communication.

[@Antoinette14273]

@@DrDanielFox Sorry if that came across harsh, but to say "I feel sad due to..." or "I need time to myself because..." "I want to take a moment or two to think..." it's difficult, because in reality in all three cases the "I" just wants to, cry, walk away and shutdown.

[@aniyaruffin3288]

I agree it’s difficult but we can’t use that as en excuse wtf.

[@sookiebyun4260]

Affordable therapy … 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

[@tw74YRsaJR]

Using someones preferred pronouns, when I feel differently about that person is a form of gaslighting. Forsing me saying something against my feelings makes me and many other people feel uncomfortable and it's not less important, than other persons feelings.

[@pukupuku]

Love your work, Dr. Fox! I will say however, using preferred pronouns is compelled speech to many and it does affect the their mental wellbeing, especially if they have a trauma history.

[@HigoIndico]

What do you mean by this?

[@pukupuku]

@@HigoIndico When you have a childhood full of physical and psychological abuse, knowing the facts about your current environment is crucial to feeling safe. Pretending that someone is something other than what you know them to be is extremely invalidating to the abuse survivor and it can make them feel unsafe, activated, and triggered. Being made to participate in a lie feels similar to the coercion used by the survivor’s abusers. When someone you know as one identity decides to present themselves as a different person that can feel like abandonment. It can also erode trust, because often times abusers were people you trusted and then they betray your trust and show themselves to be someone different that who you perceived them to be initially. So, if someone’s identity, behavior, or appearance is shifting dramatically, it can bring up that trauma. It is complex and layered, but there are many reasons why these practices can negatively impact abuse survivors.

[@HigoIndico]

@@pukupuku No. You can't justify your transphobia with childhood trauma. Saying to a person hat you know better who they are, than they know themselves, isn't traumatic to you - it's you causing trauma to the other person. You can't justify being a bigot by saying that you get triggered, if you don't act like an ass.

[@pukupuku]

@@HigoIndico I’m not justifying anything. I’m being vulnerable and honest. You are the one being hateful. You asked me what I meant and I told you and now you are calling me names and putting labels on me. You are incredibly insensitive.

[@pukupuku]

@@HigoIndico You do not get to tell me who I am or what I think!!!

[@NicolasFitrakis]

Thanks!

[@DrDanielFox]

You're so welcome and thank you for your kind support of the channel. It means a lot when people help support the cause of putting out honest and research based information. Thank you and be well.