After a long battle with BPD I've decided to quit dating or trying to have children. Life has been easier. Depressing. But easier.
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
I respect your choice, but don't let BPD determine your life course. Therapy can help.
@ScottVeggies Жыл бұрын
@@DrDanielFox I've tried therapy but unfortunately live in a small town and no where near close to any place that takes that stuff seriously. I'm unfortunately on my own. I told my current therapist that I was pretty much checked out on life and nothing would probably change that and she said alrighty see ya in a month lol.
@DesiGalCrochet Жыл бұрын
@@ScottVeggies oh honey I'm so sorry. There is absolutely nothing worse than an invalidating and uncaring therapist! But one thing is true about BPD - it really does start to ease up in your 40's, even without regular therapy. And people are finding their soulmate in their 60s nowadays so you still have time. I have to believe that. I'm 41, without a therapist and I just broke up with my boyfriend of nine years. If I don't continue to believe that I still have a chance at finding a love that isn't a roller coaster ride I would honestly have no incentive to continue to try to be better. I already enjoy my own company to be honest but I continue to try to better myself so that I can be a better partner to someone eventually. So I've got to believe that I'll find someone one day and I won't be a hot mess when I do, instead I will have settled down enough to just enjoy it. There are eight billion people in this world. And most of them are not looking for perfection, just forward movement. So keep working as if that person will fall in your lap one day and you need to be ready. Even if it never does trying to be a better partner is going to make you a better partner to yourself. By the end of it you may be happy that you got to enjoy your own company for your entire life! Anyway that's my two cents. if this is your expression of radical acceptance more power to you. Just don't sell yourself short because it honestly does get better!
@newtuber4freedom43 Жыл бұрын
Similarly here ... but it stinks when you tell yourself no, then the best guy walks into your life & then you (i) self sabotage and push him away b4 anything can start. Then he won't get outta my brain - limerence (but not a sex thing). I think i have quiet bpd traits and bdd - i could never be good enough for him or anyone. This is a great topic Dr. Fox!!
@angelawhite2022 Жыл бұрын
I agree. It’s definitely lonely. A dog helps. But I’m unwilling to try it again, no matter how tempting it may seem. It’s one thing I can control!
@Naomi-bw5qs10 ай бұрын
Dr. Fox you soothe me when I'm not doing well
@bocotton4419 Жыл бұрын
I am currently undiagnosed but my partner has struggled with BPD and Bipolar Disorder as well as PTSD and many other diagnoses. Along my journey with Dr. Fox I have come to understand her infinitely better and I cannot thank you enough for everything you post to this channel. You are literally saving lives here.
@sweet2sourr Жыл бұрын
You guys sound compassionate ♥️
@lulukallinen3057 Жыл бұрын
This Situation reminds me of my boyfriend and i. We also watched a couple of His Videos and it helps me to understand myself and my boyfriend to understand bpd a bit better. Wishing you Bote Lots of beautiful times together and patience for The harder days.
@kaptainkechup917 ай бұрын
My wife has been a serial cheater. I understand your desire for answers. I’m trying to find anything to make me feel better about what she’s done. Trying to find anything that shows it’s not her choice so I can keep forgiving her.
@BeADad244710 күн бұрын
I am troubled by people condoning behavior to mental illness, we still have free will. 65% of wives will cheat, blame mental illness, blame the husband. I beleive it's something inherent in women. I'm sorry, these are injuries men can not heal from.
@BeADad244710 күн бұрын
@@kaptainkechup91 NO! SHE STILL HAS FREE WILL, MENTAL ILLNESS DOES NOT EXCUSE HER CHEATING, OR GIVES HER PERMISSION TO HURT OTHERS. 60% OR MORE WIVES WILL CHEAT,(NOT ALL HAVE BPD) SOMETHING INHERENT IN WOMEN. LYING, CHEATING, MANIPULATING, CAUSING CHAOS IS SOMETHING MOST WOMEN WERE BORN WITH. IM PROFOUNDLY SORRY, THIS PAIN FOR MEN DOES NOT HEAL. ONECE A WOMAN CHEATS, SHE DIVORCES YOU, YOU HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO HER. YOU ARE FREE OF THAT FORMER MARRIAGE, THE MARRIAGE NO LONGER EXISTS. GONE!
@johnlee2540 Жыл бұрын
World top bpd expert make everything easy to understand
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.
@sassyslsgrl Жыл бұрын
I very much appreciate you taking on this topic and addressing it with the same gentle professionalism as always. ❤️
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@Inescapablewisdom5 ай бұрын
I’ve been celibate within a relationship for 4 years now and this is the first time I’ve ever come across anyone who validated how painful this issue can be! I want so much to have healthy intimacy and it always feels just out of reach. I will try the suggestions !
@DrDanielFox5 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s important to acknowledge the challenges that come with intimacy, and I’m glad the video resonated with you. Best of luck as you explore those suggestions!
@Amused_Comfort_Inc Жыл бұрын
A line from a rap song i listen to comes to mind, "whenever you show me love, i feel attacked" I've caught myself accusing my partner (of 7 years) of objectifying me× when he just wanted to cuddle. I used to assume intimacy, was a pathway to sex, that if someone was showing me affection, they were being Manipulative.
@jessicacranmer4436 Жыл бұрын
All of this hits so close to how my thought process is.. I always question when anyone mentions cuddling or anything nice really. I alway seem to connect someone being nice to they want something from me
@braknazwy9346 Жыл бұрын
What song is that?
@Amused_Comfort_Inc Жыл бұрын
@@braknazwy9346 so, the rapper BONES (elmo o'kennedy) has an alter ego - SurrendorDorothy, and the song is RoughAroundTheEdges
@Amused_Comfort_Inc Жыл бұрын
@@braknazwy9346 after looking up the lyrics I think he says Inact instead of Attacked 😅 Either way lol
@Amused_Comfort_Inc Жыл бұрын
@@jessicacranmer4436 so crazy to think we all live different lives but have these experiences that gave us these beliefs. Thank you for affirming I'm not alone and I hope you/we can build trust in new experiences and change these beliefs 💌
@FataLenora Жыл бұрын
I actually resorted to swinging at one point ...thinking that my partner will stay with me if I try to make our relationship "spicier" by involving other people. I thought maybe he is bored of me so rather than lose him try to spice it up. I had no idea that I had BPD when I made that choice. Now that I'm aware.. I started to notice I don't like swinging and it makes me anxious when brought up....I prefer to be only us. We've been together for 20 years now...and only tried it a handful of times.. I thought I wanted him to think I was open-minded cause I grew up in a strict religion. I made a lot of dumb choices because of bpd. The shame is hard.
@BBWahoo Жыл бұрын
You'll shake off the shame once you make yourself aware that you are not the shame. You experimented and it didn't work out, now you know and you can now do better for yourself. Hang in there :)
@bestgamer1367 Жыл бұрын
Involve other people to spice it up? You're mentally sick bro go see a doctor.Thats just wrong in so many ways.
@sweet2sourr Жыл бұрын
I’ve told my partner they can sleep with someone else so they don’t get bored. What you’ve written is relatable.
@DaPoofDaPoofDaPoofDa Жыл бұрын
We cannot degrade our hopes and our standards: if you don’t want to share your partner, don’t.
@monike29 Жыл бұрын
I relate to this, in fact it was always very stresfull cause I had the idea that as soon as I run out of creativity my partner will leave me.
@Stopnormalizingviolence Жыл бұрын
Hello Dr. Fox, thank you for your efforts to help decrease BPD stigma. I read a study once that said pwBPD are more likely to be abused by their partners than to abuse their partners. Is this true? I've found it to be true in my life, before learning to develop strong boundaries. You kind of touched on this in another video, basically about us being easy targets for toxic people, and not really recognizing how toxic they are to us. I just see that it's such a common problem in the BPD community, but it's rarely talked about by professionals like you, who don't just automatically place the blame on the pwBPD. It would be so great if you could make more videos about this. Thanks. 😊
@danielestaub9445 Жыл бұрын
Just change the channel name to "Dr. Courage Saves Us All." I've been following this channel for a couple of years, or more, and the quality has remained very good. Thanks for being there when I am not all here. 🤣
@keylzuk Жыл бұрын
Thank you. Impulsive behaviour does not always correlate with infidelity. It can be an outcome when multi varient factors occur. Both partners have to grow together is absolutely spot on. 100% accurate regarding physical appearance and the lens too.Great advice. First reaction is building a case, mind reading and connecting dots looking for other reasons linked to abandonment or rejection. You are so helpful. Thank you
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
I’m glad you found this video helpful.
@Mada_94_ Жыл бұрын
Been struggling with this for so long, thank you so much for this video! 🙏👏
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@lauramcclain8651 Жыл бұрын
I do enjoy your sense of humor! Although you come across as extremely professional at all times, you do insert some fantastic snarky humor at times! I loved when you suggested that telling your partner that they were a lazy slob and we’re terrible in bed might not be the best way to build intimacy lol I had to laugh out loud at that part.
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
Wow, thank you!
@kikie1973 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video...my husband gets upset with me often because of my disliking being touched...when he touches me (even just my arm or leg) my discomfort with the smallest touch...I know some of it is my ptsd and also my hatred for my body...from age 8 I was bullied relentlessly for being overweight so when I am touched it feels so uncomfortable and I don't know how to make things better
@JDforeveralone Жыл бұрын
I haven't watched the video yet - reading comments first! But I know exactly how u feel!! I've been married for over 27 years and the last 10 or so have been a bit rough for me. My husband has got his own struggles and thought maybe it would be best that he changes room to sleep - so we're "separated" for about 7 years. I got weird feelings when he touches me, even just a plain hug.
@kikie1973 Жыл бұрын
@@JDforeveralone ...that is so true about the hug...for me I feel so awkward being hugged
@1969MAN Жыл бұрын
My gf is like this, is it only when your mad, or is it overstimulation?
@kikie1973 Жыл бұрын
@@1969MAN ...I definitely don't want to be touched when I'm mad...but when I'm not mad and I get touched it's such an uncomfortable feeling...might be over stimulation...and if I ask him to stop and he doesn't, I end up getting mad...I don't understand it at all because I love him more than life
@stephanielainus5452 Жыл бұрын
Can you pleaaase do a video on BPD and comorbid BDD or Body Dysmorphic Disorder?
@baileeabaddie Жыл бұрын
I second this Dr. Fox. This would be wonderful if you could do a video on Body Dysmorphia
@ytcsb78910 Жыл бұрын
yes, Dr. Fox, do you have a video on body dysmorphia; along with facial dysmorphia ? ❤
@librascorner227115 күн бұрын
Yes!
@linnpierce Жыл бұрын
This is a very hot button issue, and it is great to hear that I am not to blame. This gives me hope.
@jenniferroberts83707 ай бұрын
Infidelity is always the cheaters fault Intimacy issues also needs to be talked through and figured out It’s not about who’s fault it is It’s about compassion and love and nothing about condemning someone But if issues are happening communication calmly is key No one should want to be winning or put all fault on anyone but sometimes people do impact the issue and arnt willing to see the issues involved Love is not self seeking it is not easily angered it always believes in the best of the other person
@scottoz7891 Жыл бұрын
She .started Withholding Intimacy. That was IT FOR ME. Like you said Intense in the beginning. Like those Love Rushes i would feel...what makes me CRAZY is i talked to her about AND she said. Yes we shouldn't be doing this to each other..,AND then she just cut it off. The Problem asking what the Problem is....😮
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
It can be really challenging when a partner starts withholding intimacy. Communication is key in situations like these, so it's good that you talked to her about it. Remember, relationships take effort from both sides to work through any issues.
@scottoz7891 Жыл бұрын
@@DrDanielFox Yes. But there was no closure or answers. That was the Mind altering experience. I literally had to rewire my brain.
@lauramcclain8651 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video ! I emailed you requesting this a few months ago so I was so glad to see it!
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
Thank you for the suggestion!!
@carolbruce6261 Жыл бұрын
I have problems with intimacy I avoid it.
@fallon76162 ай бұрын
I had to watch this video ago and thanks. I have been really negative with my husband. I need to stop being so much blaming person. I need to learn how to trust. Great video 🍥 Thanks again 👍
@DrDanielFox2 ай бұрын
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@misterbotha7 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for the content you create & share - it is making a massive difference in my life, combined with therapy and great friends. 💙
@rkim1068 Жыл бұрын
I love this video. So much compassion for other but with a hint of cut the shit out 🤣 I dig it. Thank you for this.
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
You’re very welcome and I’m glad that it was helpful for you
@xijinping1099 Жыл бұрын
Hi Daniel, could you talk about trust issues from past relationships in BPD? I find myself being really afraid to get into new relationships and as soon as we start to get a little bit close I kind of push them away.
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
Yes. Thanks
@amywilloughby7562 Жыл бұрын
I'd be really interested in that. I'm afraid of being in a relationship
@nncoco3 ай бұрын
This is the best information that I have found on the topic. Great suggestions for tools. They can be used by everyone too.
@andrewmcbridemusic Жыл бұрын
Dr. Fox, if it's not too much to ask, are you currently open to new clients? And what is your rate? I have BPD, and am thinking of moving to TX at some point, and I'm worried about finding a good therapist.
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
I'm not, but my assistant Jasmine is but she can only see people in TX. Be well
@corey_kumaАй бұрын
My beloved wife has BPD and I’ve had to seriously tone down my physical intimacy needs . I’m A very physical/sexual person with my partner but she’s been through ALOT .
@corey_kumaАй бұрын
I have to make it clear , I don’t mind . I want my partner to feel safe and I’m in control of my physical desires ( I gave up adult material years ago along with social media after reading up on the negative mental health effects ) . In my mind , my wife’s safety comes first . I swore I’d protect and love her till I’m dead and I intend to do so
@suzyirishred5 ай бұрын
We don't talk openly it's not comfortable for him. He's given me several reasons over the years but the most consistent answer is that he says he just can't ever relax enough to be in the headspace for physical intimacy. It's very sad and lonely for me
@yakitori888 Жыл бұрын
You are amazing. Thank you for your videos
@Dottyforgotty Жыл бұрын
Thanks dr fox i just bought your books. 😊
@meghanson5472 Жыл бұрын
After my partner of 11 years has just left and I feel like my BPD is a major cause. I took the time to do DBT to be a better partner 6 years ago. Now I feel like I need to come with a warning label. I am trying to move on and focus on myself healing to be a better partner in the future. But I feel like no one will ever want to deal with all of this. What do I do?
@PlutonianTenshi Жыл бұрын
Can you please do a video with pregnancy? I’m experiencing old and new symptoms after my symptoms going dormant for many months that it felt like my BPD didn’t exist. I treated it with microdosing psilocybin mushrooms in an consistent on and off pattern, a lot of self help work by myself before I went to dbt for a short period (I barely remember the work or techniques done with them sadly because it was mostly over cam.) It feels like the hormones of the pregnancy is undoing a lot of my hard work and I’m hoping I’ll be able to snap back into it after this pregnancy is over.
@MrMaddy24 Жыл бұрын
Are you a fan of yoko taro?
@wendythiel2059 Жыл бұрын
I can agree during and after pregnancy i feel like i have borderline personality. Can it be hormone inbalance.
@PlutonianTenshi Жыл бұрын
@@MrMaddy24 lmfao yes. Emil is my son
@heathermariehouston3085 Жыл бұрын
Dr. Fox, is this something you could get into a bit more. Or rather do more videos about intimacy? I'm sure I'm the way I am regarding sex because of childhood and adult abuse but possibly other reasons. In any case I'm sure I'm not the only one. Thank you
@rumannkoch4864 Жыл бұрын
No, you're not alone. My GF (Quiet BPD) doesn't even ever want to have sex unless she has had a lot to drink. And then she seems to turn into a different woman, and is almost insatiable. After long talks spanning over a year, she has gradually opened up about sexual abuse when she was very young, by a relative, which she does not recall the details of, and being raped when she had just started HS. Hope you have someone you can trust to help you overcome this.
@simranlall77 Жыл бұрын
Hi Dr. Fox can you make a video on what happens when a person with BPD gets cheated on? I was in a very intense relationship with someone that cheated on me and I have BPD I am really struggling with a lot of congitive dissonance he cheated on me for a whole year and lied for so so long almost two years... please help
@mingo2024 Жыл бұрын
So I was diagnosed with BPD, Bi-polar 2 and Sexual Addiction. I'm alot of fun, lol! Throw in that I was raised in the Bible belt and deeply love Jesus, yet was also raised to be single without kids, I've got a strange relationship with sex. I love it. It's my favorite hobby. I've always been very happy with my body and super comfortable in the bedroom, but I need to emotionally connect on a deep level for the sex to matter. And in the moments I've been able to achieve that ultimate emotional high through sex, I'll literally sacrifice anything to keep that feeling going and sex with that singular person becomes the only thing that matters to me. Sex defines the rest of the relationship for me. Because of my high intensity in every aspect of life, men seem to only be able to "deal" with that for around a year or two. Once I enter a breakup, I'll spend the next 3 years single and sexless until I either lose my mind from lack of physical intimacy or a man actually piques my interest. Cycle repeats. Exhausting. I'm highly sexual yet highly monogamous. I need someone who is the same.
@wilson8979 Жыл бұрын
I’m the same but I won’t go that long single in between relationships. But I can see how my age and life circumstances can change that both ways
@annacamila_8 ай бұрын
Thats me. But not 3 years, 5 instead
@jiggym4nАй бұрын
Why comment this on a video about fear of intimacy, which you clearly don't have? Shove it in our faces, why don't you...
@errickflesch5565Ай бұрын
Here I am....You found me.
@dougl49616 күн бұрын
I’m here for you
@Janny1921 Жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@heythere6983 Жыл бұрын
The more I look into bpd the more it bothers me. I knew a girl who despite her behavior I started to feel she was vulnerable, easily manipulated and scared of her emotions but also very dismissive and cold . I felt she was overly promiscuous and she was seeing multiple dudes but she also threw herself at me and also stopped intimacy right after she started it. I never got mad at her and tried talking to her, she was just be quiet as I spoke. She made it almost impossible to see her but I managed to be so available that I was there easily . Guys came and went as she slept in my arms,l for months, I had told her I had love for her months before, she sent me a Kanye west song “wolves” earlier on. But she kept getting mad for no reason and discarded me when I had questioned if she was honest w me since she eventually said she wasn’t seeing anyone and we were gonna do things together now, I then gave her flowers after I was getting upset with her after all those months of dishonesty, she discarded me then. I was convinced she was a cruel selfish person, bordering on evil bc of the things she would say ,the timing of how she would react and her constant gaslighting . I called her out, and s narcissist claimed I was a narcissist and a bad communicator, and pretended he was he savior and she ended up with him telling herself they were soulmates. My fear of her being manipulated happened infront of me . He said there was nothing to note about her behavior and it was me being this terrible person w her . I wish she knew , I made excuses in my head and never thought about a disorder but instinctively treated her the right way but she was so arrogant yet it seemed she somewhat understood she had issues but not once did she ever open up. I cringe at what that predatory guy has done to her, yet if I were to reach out I’d like look I’m “hoovering”
@monike29 Жыл бұрын
Physical intimacy provoked me a lot of anxiety in most of my relationships since my first sexual encounter. I wonder if there is a link betwen the impulsivity to engage in fast intimicy a the need for approval and to retain the favorite person. Is it common that BPDs that tend to focus on sexual intimacy as a way to get attention, company and approval from their partners?
@rumannkoch4864 Жыл бұрын
When I first met my GF (Quiet BPD) she sex-bombed me. When we got together we would always have quite a bit to drink, and then had lots of sex. But her drinking became a problem. She became hyper-sexual, almost insatiable (I couldn't keep up), and it seemed to me that she did not care if it was me or some other guy. I had to help her after falling, hurting herself, and passing out many times. She would tell me that she was no good and that she didn't want 'this' (relationship). But I saw the good things in her, and wanted to help so I stayed with her, even through a panic attack that resulted in her going to the emergency room. After long talks spanning over a year, she has gradually opened up about sexual abuse when she was very young, by a relative, which she does not recall the details of, and being raped when she had just started HS. Then she stopped drinking altogether. Now she doesn't even ever want to have sex, and we just cuddle and hug. The way I look at it: it is a vicious cycle - the PwBPD will seek out a partner for casual, wild sex in order to fulfil her need for validation that she is desirable (confusing sex for love and attention), then sex-bomb that partner to keep him from leaving (separation anxiety), then feel guilt for her actions (substance abuse and meaningless sex), the sabotage the relationship until the man has been dragged into her problems so much that he quits the relationship (burden is off her). And then after a short period of loneliness, she starts the cycle up again. I also think that this toxic cycle is a way of self-punishment as the PwBPD has extremely low self-esteem.
@ryan78649 ай бұрын
@rumannkoch4864 interesting... the Quiet BPD woman I dated briefly was physically intimate short of sex. The opposite. Whenever an opportunity arose, she seemed to disassociate and it went to a hug or a cuddle. Needless to say, we didn't date long, and we never ended up having sex. So strange...
@tracyfox4668 ай бұрын
I would say this is a very accurate statement.😉👍🏻 It’s almost like a form of trauma bonding a person to them so they will never be abandoned.
@belindandaba3017 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this.
@boris13872 ай бұрын
No physical intimacy at all from my ex fiance. We got together January last year... Broke up end of August. Said I'd give her time etc etc... But she kept pushing me away. She'd been engaged twice before me.... And had a revolving door of ex's. I'm 51 she's 40....shes got bpd dpd ptsd etc etc etc etc..... We really tried to keep it together but the constant pushing away was too much. I still love her of course 😞
@DrDanielFox2 ай бұрын
It sounds like you went through a really challenging situation. Relationships can be tough, especially when mental health issues are involved. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being as you navigate these feelings.
@boris13872 ай бұрын
@DrDanielFox you're videos have really helped a great deal. I'm so thankful🙏
@markusmeyer6391 Жыл бұрын
Well this is a weird one for me. Having suffered from BPD almost all my life. My experience with intimacy was messed up from the beginning. I would always force myself to do sexual acts despite me not wanting to do them. It was like "self rape". I guess I did it because my first boyfriend dumped me on the phone cuz i said I won't have sex with him. I would always force myself to do
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
I’m sorry to hear about your experience. The pairing of sex and your conceptualization of it can certainly be confusing. Teasing this apart and exploring what that core Contin is can help you get a better understanding and perhaps reach some level of calm and peace. I wish you well.
@rumannkoch4864 Жыл бұрын
Did you have to drink or otherwise self-medicate before you got 'in the mood'. My GF (Quiet BPD) doesn't even ever want to have sex unless she has had a lot to drink. And then she seems to turn into a different woman, and is almost insatiable
@lindahutt3426 Жыл бұрын
@@rumannkoch4864o
@JustinaJayne Жыл бұрын
Same
@annacamila_8 ай бұрын
@@rumannkoch4864relatable
@lauro345guadarrama8 Жыл бұрын
Thank You. Lauro. Toluca México. After Years of adiction Activity relationships are very damaged by neurosis. I'll take care.🙏 24 secs
@rihannahaiti5570 Жыл бұрын
I've decided to no longer date. I have no crushes and plan not to get close to anyone. Im happier.
@alfieshanks6555 Жыл бұрын
I miss my girl with BPD
@nabman7425 Жыл бұрын
You will never forget her! They are unique especially the first days of extreme intimacy and fun! However, they are unstable and confused! You will never understand what goes in their minds! You might see that intimacy could trigger them in a bad way so they start distancing! It’s a quite complete disorder!
@Herbert-iu6px Жыл бұрын
@@nabman7425i surely wont forget mine but its not sustainable for a relationship
@petemorton84032 күн бұрын
27 Married to her. Wild & Scary both. So many moods. That 3rd or 4th 4 week cycle was extreme. She would scream & accuse me of abusive things. Only id not have done it & was trying to communicate openly. Then once every few years, very extreme screaming. The "phone call" even. They would come and talk to me like it was me. Never taken though. We lived 3 blocks from the main police station.
@petemorton84032 күн бұрын
Then her cheating relieved itself. Now I think that could have been why the extreme. Last has HIV, I filed trying to save her, get her away from him. He was destitute and after the life id built for us. He then coached & became her False Accuse witness. Disaster followed for me. No Fault Divorce caused this.
@amber40494 Жыл бұрын
Thanks for this video.
@timetoblossom12039 ай бұрын
I lost the love of my life by keep pushing him away. And I can’t forgive myself It was the very thing that I want the most, love, partnership and family. What to do? Please help.
@marietaylor65597 ай бұрын
I'm so sad my bpd partner distances himself from me regularly , he doesn't seem to overly like intimacy with me but then blames me if I don't show affection but it's all on his terms, he looks uncomfortable when I tell him I love him and doesn't have sex with me alot , I feel he's pushed me away so much that I'm scared to show him love in a physical way , he told me recently he has edd and got aggressive when I tried to touch him because of this so I don't go near him now and wait for him to initiate other than the odd kiss or hug, I could cry can anyone please give me advice thank you
@iman201015 ай бұрын
you are not alone.and you are not doing anything wrong.
@DiabolikalRAАй бұрын
It feels like we doing something wrong and they guilt us and shame us for wanting basic intimacy @iman20101
@blueskies7035 Жыл бұрын
Skeptical about the likelihood of infidelity. Maybe your point was within the context of a long term committed relationship(?) My (limited) experience is that the impulsivity includes risky sexual behavior and concealing multiple partners in a cycle of brief encounters. I have heard of this being referred to as "monkey branching."
@user-so6so5pr2p Жыл бұрын
Can you please links to research you mention in the videos?
@mattws5784 Жыл бұрын
So is BPD curable? I literally don’t know what to do, been speaking to my gf about me thinking I have BPD and all I can think about is me being a bad person, thinking my relationship is gonna end and if it does, I’ll never get another relationship because apparently everyone should run for the hills if their partner has BPD, I wish I was normal
@Ace7of7Cups Жыл бұрын
If you first see there is something in you that needs to get treated and get treatment, I think you will be in a much better place than most. Many don't seek help or treatment.
@Anti-Parables7 ай бұрын
It is not curable, but it is manageable. Most people with BPD, if they are committed to therapy and healing, will improve and even end up no longer fitting the criteria after a few years. There is lots of hope! Also, I would just like to add, that "run away if they have BPD" stuff you hear is all stigma and generalizations. Maybe 1% of people with BPD are actually abusive. Most are not, but are more likely to *be* abused.
@agontprevarator52146 ай бұрын
@@Anti-Parables I'm all for giving people hope, but this thing about "1%" is major BS. It's only true if you use the typical "they don't do it on purpose, it's the BPD talking" excuse. That doesn't matter one iota, the person going through the abuse feels no difference if it's on purpose or "it's the BPD talking".
@Anti-Parables6 ай бұрын
@@agontprevarator5214 BPD and abusive behaviors aren't linked. That doesn't mean someone with BPD CAN'T be abusive, but if they are, it's not BECAUSE of their BPD.
@agontprevarator52146 ай бұрын
@@Anti-Parables You can tell these fairy tales to someone else, not to me who is married to someone with BPD or to the thousands on r/BPDlovedones
@BrandonBAMF19711 күн бұрын
What happens when your bpd partner thinks theyre perfect and that i should be fine with no intimacy since i was fine without it for 29 years before her?
@sharolmongrain80222 ай бұрын
Bless you Thanx for help
@DrDanielFox2 ай бұрын
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@8thhousealchemist600 Жыл бұрын
I just avoid intimate relationships altogether. It's too detrimental to my well-being. I'll keep good friends instead.
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
I understand and respect your choice. Be well.
@lindaolesen6522 Жыл бұрын
I had alot of trouble because my ex husband was an Australian infantry soldier and he put me through basturdiasion Aka he would scare me I'd go to leave the room and he would pin me down until I settled from anxiety adding trauma to trauma I learnt not to cry he took fight and flight from me I only had fawn now he had used the kids against me emotionally sexual cowersion I need help you seen to understand I have major trust issues from rejection 😢 please help
@sirensHeartsong Жыл бұрын
Sending you love, ive been in similiar, look for resources and assistance near you, keep looking, tell people of authority if you can, like Drs, the childrens school may also have resources.
@Lynssss243 ай бұрын
I hope things have gotten better Linda, no one deserves to be treated that way
@wilson8979 Жыл бұрын
I live north of Dallas, where are you located? I need therapy. I need help finding a therapist and I don’t have insurance
@sweet2sourr Жыл бұрын
Great video!
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it
@Nuetral768 Жыл бұрын
For me it's the fact that I'm demisexual (which is widely misunderstood and misused, it's not just a preference but an orientation that there NEEDS to be a deep emotional connection to bring about the enjoyment and even function of physical intimacy). It's not just in my head, I've been rejected enough to be 35 and never had a girlfriend. When you combine these two factors you get someone that (as far as many are concerned) essentially doesn't want to have sex, and that actually discourages possible connections from forming and that comorbidity actually prevents either situation from improving. I've basically settled for never being with anyone at this point. If someone decides to prove they're willing to be the exception then great, but I've made my peace with it at this point. That being said I think we try to jump into being physically intimate too quickly nowadays, and I don't think that's proving beneficial for most people (even excluding alternate orientations).
@OceanWave-8472 ай бұрын
I resonate with you so much.
@mariep893111 ай бұрын
I find myself having such a high sex drive and feeling such intense excitement und love und joy during sex - because of having extremly strong feelings in general (having BPD) - that partners mostly just can't keep up with it! And this leads to me feeling not being as desired and loved back as I so desperately would like to and it triggers my rejection sensitivity! It's a real struggle. And being socialized as female, always told that as a woman I must feel less desire than a man and he will always initiate sex, really causes even more deep insecurities and doesn't help. It's so hard not to take that personal like "he does not find me as attractive"! I feel so alone with that, anyone else struggling with this?
@gemmalou954310 ай бұрын
I feel exactly the same and it’s causing huge problems in my relationship
@lingzulu8 ай бұрын
Feeling you, girl. Just same, it took me awhile to understand that there are people with different understanding and attitude towards sex. They have different sexual appetite as well. And that them not wanting any sex, doesn’t mean not loving you.
@peysway49224 ай бұрын
On the nose honestly
@davidmattiello34 ай бұрын
But then if he were to initiate sex constantly just like you said, you’d convince yourself that he only wants to objectify you and is not emotionally available to you because all he wants from you is sex. Then when you start rejecting him and telling him your “stomach hurts” or “have a headache”, he’ll start to notice the excuses over time and will ask you if everything is okay? Then you’ll tell him yes ofc and make him feel crazy and like he’s overthinking things and he’ll take your word for it. Then he’ll start trying to initiate sex less often because he just thinks your sex drive has gone down a little for some unknown reason. Then you’ll see that and convince yourself he must be cheating on you… then you’ll self justify texting other guys and they will shower you with the attention and validation you so desperately crave and you will then believe your partner is not as attracted to you as these other scumbags and that must obviously be because he’s “cheating” right? Ignoring completely every single rejection you did when he tried to initiate frequently and also the fact you lied to him and said everything is fine because bpd individuals have the communication skills of a 5 year old and are as self aware as a tree stump. Then you’ll start acting passive aggressively towards him and snapping at him for no apparent reason from his perspective and this will hurt him deeply but everytime he asks to talk to you about what has changed you will lie and tell him everything is fine and make him feel like he’s imagining what he’s seeing with his own 2 eyes. And that’s because you don’t want to talk and fix your relationship. Because that would mean he wouldn’t be your scapegoat self justification anymore because he would do anything to change for you and that would make you feel guilty that you are emotionally cheating on him currently. Then you’ll start being distant and he will just try to treat you like gold to rebuild the connection he saw vanish without a word from you regarding why. The better he treats you, the meaner and more passive aggressive and resentful and ruder you’ll become to him because you will feel guilt for what your doing. Then you’ll cause one big fight out of nowhere over him being 2 minutes late to pick you up (while you also text the guy your cheating on him with the whole dinner), and the next night you’ll say your going out with your female best friends.. then you’ll trash his name and lie about him to that other guy who your actually out with. He will tell you “you deserve better, your boyfriend is a loser and is definitely cheating on you”. And you’ll cry as he comforts you and says “let’s go to my place and have a drink”. Then you’ll go and have sex with him. Then you’ll treat you boyfriend like a monster for a week or 2 as he tries desperately to fix your relationship (not knowing your physically cheating now). Then you’ll sit him down out of the blue and ask to talk about your relationship. He’ll be completely blindsided and shook to his core. You’ll give him no reason why and say “the spark isn’t there anymore”. “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore”. “I can’t give you what you need”. He’ll beg you to try to work on the relationship and ask what he can do to change for you. You’ll say it’s too late. Then after 3 days you’ll completely ghost him and then block him on everything while you run into the arms of your affair partner. Then after a month he’ll be done with your body and will ghost you. Then you’ll come back and say “how have you been”. This is bpd and what they do to men. 0 morals whatsoever. You aren’t sick. Your just rotten to the core.
@TarzanVegaАй бұрын
@@davidmattiello3 agree 💯 what you are describing is exactly what has happened in my personal relationship with a BPD.
@amandaadkins6935 Жыл бұрын
Coalition between bpd & bdsm???
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
I'm not aware of any correlation.
@amandaadkins6935 Жыл бұрын
@@DrDanielFox why do u think ppl engage in it, do u believe it goes no to childhood jw
@sirensHeartsong Жыл бұрын
I am inclined to agree with you, Amanda..my time in safe, sane, and consensual bdsm was the most balanced..no self harm, clarity, communication, discipline, positive body image, and the trauma be released from the body. With the wrong partner, tho, its devastating. The best to you!❤
@beachsunandsand55049 ай бұрын
Since you are speaking on this topic can woman sometimes want more children to fill a void they may feel of chronic emptiness that can sometimes be all encompassing since pregnancy is such an internal feeling of closeness like no other? Especially in woman with BPD or BPD traits ?
@DrDanielFox9 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and raising awareness about this important issue.
@iuhuiyubh987h Жыл бұрын
It's rather difficult being touch and sexually starved as someone with BPD when I don't have the confidence to meet anyone, due to low self-worth ad how I've made a disgusting mess of my life. At this point I'm basically just an "incel."
@vickij8417 Жыл бұрын
Me too. You're not alone.
@iuhuiyubh987h Жыл бұрын
@@vickij8417 It's a shame that this is what this society produces. Emotional pain and developmental issues, at least for me.
@vickij8417 Жыл бұрын
@@iuhuiyubh987h ....don't give up. Constant work to retrain the way we think and see our value.
@annieorder4496 Жыл бұрын
Progress from a vicious mouse to a meek cat. Chicks dig cats
@rayo18838 ай бұрын
The intimacy you had at first is NOT coming back, you've been devalued. You can desperately cling to the relationship you think you have with someone with BPD, but the conclusion is 99% inevitable. And it's going to hurt. A lot. There is nothing you could have done differently that would have made a difference. Seek help when that time comes.
@DrDanielFox8 ай бұрын
It's important to prioritize your well-being and seek support when needed.
@CryptoCam93 Жыл бұрын
Hey Dr. Fox, my ex with BPD was completely unable to reach orgasm in sex. She has never had an orgasm in her entire life, not with me, any of her exes, or even by herself. Do you find there too be a connection between someone who has BPD and had been sexually abused at a young that created a mental block/defense against being completely relaxed and able to reach orgasm? I assume it was a dissociative defense mechanism from past abuse that rewired their brains and their relationship to sex for the rest of their lives. But I'm not an expert, so i don't know if my theory is correct or not. Thank you for your videos!
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experience and question. It's important to remember that everyone is different and there can be various factors that affect a person's ability to reach orgasm. While there may be a connection between past trauma and sexual difficulties, it's best to consult with a mental health professional or therapist for a more accurate assessment and guidance.
@renacleerican78249 ай бұрын
Same for me. I always focus on my partner's pleasure. I dont count, and I mostly have to control my disassociations( my mind always goes away, sometimes to very bad places of my past, when I have an intimate relationship). I grew up thinking the only way I could get attention from men was by being some kind of "sexual Jesus", I had to give them sex, to exist: but I very rarely felt pleasure( or orgasms), most of these interactions were, unfortunately, very abusive. I was even a street sex worker during my teenagehood, so a lot of bad things happened. Now I am 37, I had one serious relationship, he was violent and abusive( like my adoptive father), I managed to get rid of him, but too late. Now I only hook up with strangers I will never see again, mostly when I am drunk and in a confused blak out. It is sordid. So I have decided to stop seeking for sexual interactions, or intimate relationships: I am just not wired for this. I have refuged my self in an imaginary erotic fantasy world. It is kind of sad. I am craving for a simple, gentle, genuine, human's contact; probably since birth. Thanks to evolution: Dogs are there, with their adorable faces and their absolute gentleness!!!
@cabrerah3310 ай бұрын
Got it. bpd does not cause infidelity. Impulsive behavior does. Bpd causing imlulsive behavior is the correlation with infidelity. Bit the cause 2:29 is umpuslive behavior. One "BPD" does not cause the other "infedelity".
@cabrerah3310 ай бұрын
I got it. We just have to word it correctly. Bpd is not the cause of earlier sexual encounter or physical assault. But Dr. Doesnt BPD cause them to place themselfs in situations that can cause a earlier sexual encounter or greater risk of sexul assault? So its not the bpd causing it. The cause is they placing themselves in sitiations that are high risk. The corelation is bdp causing the placement of themseelves in that sitiatuation. And the cause is the situation they put themselves in. Is that how it goes?
@pauly101918 сағат бұрын
mine got bored after 3 months, started drinking before we engage, she would tell me when she is drunk that she is bored and not looking forward and intimacy is the same she always wanted new things weird things honestly and she would convince me to like them “ mostly she being a dominant “ if i don’t comply she get upset discards were very often she would want suddenly out of nowhere and in the middle of it her mood will drop to 0 i would feel her energy right away she would blame me that i did something wrong “ changed speed whatever “ if together teasing never worked she would suddenly call me out of nowhere instead to get her off she destroyed me honestly during her impulsive behaviors she would call ppl over siri g our breakups then she chickens out after minutes and ask them not to come anymore alcohol triggered another side of her honestly “ a side that i never recognize “ abusive, character assasination, body shaming, threats it goes on…. we broke up 3 months ago tha ago cause when she was drunk in the club she followed someone to the bathroom and i busted her she blamed me that if she wasn’t feeling lusty she wouldn’t have done that came back together then the week after we had another fight she went with someone else to the same club was my bd on that day we just broke up but now i miss her like hell “ looks like stockholm syndrome “ i tried to reach out 3 times she blocks me on the spot and says she is much happier and she just want to be happy and i bro g drama to her life “ because i dont tolerate “ she wanna treat me bad and get away with it everytime i was never able to convince her that she have bpd symptoms she would accuse me im inventing events and twisting facts to make her feel crazy
@oVeRKILl61311 ай бұрын
They definitely cheat.. the fear of abandonment causes them to have multiple back-ups for when their worst fear takes place(you leaving).
@t-pain334310 ай бұрын
My ex wife cheated too. They suck and are selfish
@TimBadger-w7d6 ай бұрын
My BPD wife cheated on me only 12 months after we got married. She said it was over with the other guy. It was a lie.
@DrDanielFox5 ай бұрын
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. It’s never easy to deal with betrayal, especially in a marriage. Remember to focus on your healing and well-being.
@bevanbuckwheatshea5520 Жыл бұрын
My understanding Dr Fox is that Personality disorders stem from childhood neglect or neglect as a baby?
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
This is a common misconception that narrows the root of personality sorter. Personally, stores are complex they don’t all come from past abuse or neglect experiences. There are a variety of different trajectories that can lead an individual to develop a personality disorder. Great question and thank you.
@AA-iy4gm Жыл бұрын
But most of the research says that trauma or neglect is usually a part of it, why are we turning away from calling it like it is and if there are some exceptions then we can still say "usually or mostly it is trauma or neglect", it's like people are so concerned with not offending parents...
@jld4870 Жыл бұрын
II’d like to hear more on the definition of intimacy-period. Like trust and safety in relationship. If folks feel unsafe-which is many-w/without bpd-due to fear of abandonment and rejection ‘physical intimacy’-is just an act/dopamine hit-sex. Explains the HIGH incidence of porn addiction, which then perverts the beautiful aspects of TRUE intimacy. High incidence of promiscuity for both male and female is indicative of looking for love in all the wrong places . Sex is easy, with a culture that is oversexualized surely does not help. As a person of faith who has struggled immensely with relationships but also has an idea of how God wants us to experience relationship-all aspects-I continue to ask God why SO MANY SUFFER and seemingly are incapable of ‘intimacy’. That said I am learning it is because God FIRST loved me, that I can love. It is HIS love His Spirit that brings peace, rest and ultimately intimacy. Just as He is grieved when we wander from His love and suffer, I too am grieved for all who suffer!
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the definition of intimacy. It's a complex topic that encompasses trust, safety, and emotional connection in a relationship. I understand your concerns about the impact of fear of abandonment and rejection on physical intimacy. It's important to explore and understand these dynamics to foster healthy and genuine connections with others.
@lobotzindiegoantesnesslope60044 ай бұрын
Mmm ok i will listen
@DrDanielFox4 ай бұрын
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@suzyirishred5 ай бұрын
My husband has said he's never cheated. I do believe him but his entire sex drive disappeared with all the medicine over the years. He's now only on Wellbutrin and he still ovoids physical intimacy 90 percent of the time. It's been the one absolute in my marriage that I am extremely unhappy with. I didn't plan on a platonic marriage. I have had countless conversations with him and he still chooses to avoid having sex. Incredibly sad because 8n the first 15 years of marriage our sex life was incredible
@DrDanielFox5 ай бұрын
It sounds like you're going through a really tough time. Communication is key in any relationship, and it's important to keep having those open conversations with your husband about your needs and feelings.
@anissaholmes449529 күн бұрын
@@DrDanielFox many men don’t want to talk about this issue further pushing their mate away. Suzy may want to do a computer search to see if there is porn use going on. You may want to encourage him to have his hormone levels checked. Finally, if everything is fine there, you may want to put a tracker on his car.
@le_th_ Жыл бұрын
Please, tell us how reliable academic research could ever be conducted on infidelity and BPD? How could those results ever be reproduced in another lab? How would an intellectually honest, academically rigorous, researcher articulate this so as to NOT misrepresent this topic of infidelity, without gaslighting the public?
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
It's not about reproducing it, but collecting data from couples or individuals who engage in infidelity.
@life-is-here Жыл бұрын
This video provides a comprehensive overview of physical intimacy issues for those with BPD, exploring impulsive desires, boredom, avoidance, preoccupation, and more. A must-watch for anyone seeking to understand and improve their relationship with physical intimacy. Thanks, @life-is-here
@audreydugan9668 Жыл бұрын
The title 'how can you gain Emotional Balance'? ..... The only thing I have learned is 'emotional numbness' OMG .. then my coping numbness is attributed to another 'condition' Then I have to numbly accept the rationale because there is no way you could even PHATHIOM where "I" am coming from..... and some how - out of nowhere I think ... somehow YOU must know more than I DO ...just maybe it is time for you guys to start a 'recruiting army' of knowledgable therapist...cause..... life is just getting harder and harder... post trauma is the NORM!!! ....there is no 'normal'
@nicholasmocalis589 Жыл бұрын
It is a sexual dysfunction based disorder where the Bpd person may want to be sexual but does not understand how to express that sexuality in a way that is healthy and productive so it leads to unhealthy and counterproductive relationships. Shame is another major part since when you are ashamed you may like it but don't know how to accept it so Bpd people push it away. Another example is hugging as well in the sense that they may need a hug badly but do not know how to accept it so they push it away. Accepting intimacy means accepting empathy from your partner which Bpd people do not have since they only communicate using sympathy. It can also mean a fear of physical contact due to trauma.
@DiabolikalRAАй бұрын
My parter has had hundreds of partners. Ive had 3. Yet i get the least intimacy from all the encounters. She let men use her and because i don't I suffer the repercussions of her past actions. I just want to having her trust me.
@bevanbuckwheatshea5520 Жыл бұрын
There are a lot of Personality disorders not just BPD
@stevesmith19239 ай бұрын
There aren't that many.
@B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786 Жыл бұрын
I just quit sex. And i don’t Trust anyone.
@fallon76164 ай бұрын
Thanks for the information about trouble with relationships for people on the BPD Spectrum. I have been blaming myself for my husband's pornography use. Do you believe in Betrayal Trauma? Great information
@DrDanielFox4 ай бұрын
I'm really glad you found the information helpful! It's important to remember that relationships can be complex, and it's not solely your fault. Betrayal trauma is definitely a real issue that many people face.
@Kevwes22 Жыл бұрын
BPD ni what?
@Kevwes22 Жыл бұрын
What is BPD?
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
Borderline personality disorder.
@michaelpanzer3863 Жыл бұрын
These diagnoses are interesting to consider, but being labeled, or labeling oneself is limiting and unhealthy...
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
True but we do it, it's always possible to use healthy labels for identification too.
@31minutesago Жыл бұрын
Some people can't even touch grass.
@danielhernandez-fo3mj Жыл бұрын
omg you called me out lol as my partner says it often to me lol "how about instead of telling me what my problem is you ask me " lmfao you don't know my bro size lol ok you know it lol its hard not to be stuck in the guessing or assuming issue when you have high rejection/anxiety issues lol as i also have GAD and panic disorder lol even last night while my partner and i were gaming taking turns because i got so paniced over feeling he was gonna be hurt by me gaming more ehtne him (as i feel that's a big thing people can belive is going on ) so i keep asking is it your turn or do you want to do this fight .... i asked so often he started to get frustrated and said to stop asking i will let you know if i want to game or something like i woudent have offered you a turn if i wanted to game ..... but it truly is my issue of guessing assuming as I'm constely worried I will get the interaction wrong if i don't stay vigulent lol its such a hard thing to try and brake ...... its so automatic ...... i just become so pigglet when it comes to social interactions with this fear of rejection and abandonment i automatically assume i can tell when they are annoyed with me or feel im getting overly zelus in my interactions .....and this happens with everyone i meet even more so with my intamte partner ......... on another note im a little lost on some of the beginning .... with talks of physical intimacy ....... what about with people with BPD whos high rejection worry and anxiety who tend to have sex with someone they don't want to........ this all has been so hard for me to understand as with my partner physical sex used to be a way to rest my worry of connection (made huge progress on that ) but as we are in an open relationship i have come to a realization that when i go for a hook up i can end up in a moment where i have sex with someone even though once i meet them im not really wanting to but feel i have to to not make them feel rejected but in turn makes me feel used this has been such an issue with me in my life even before i got with my partner ....it just became more in my face cuz i am comftrble having sex with my partner way more ethne some of the men I've had sex with..... and it allowed me to see its cuz i don't want to hurt there feelings or make then see me as a bad person o i just go along with it I've been working hard now at it but still this is a real thing that happens ...... wouldn't that be do to my BPD ...... why im confused on the beginning part of its no different then non BPDers
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
I’m glad you found it helpful. Be well
@cleo107411 ай бұрын
“Not yet diagnosed” such an annoying phrase. “As someone with BPD tendencies…” is much better. Screw diagnosing it. Unless you’re trying to fill out government funding paperwork. A lot of people aren’t getting “diagnosed”. You can overcome the symptoms by doing a lot of work (DBT etc.) it’s a stigmatizing label.
@cabrerah3310 ай бұрын
Just get out. I was with one for 28 years. Dont do it. There is a reason its been called incurable. 100 maybe 1000 of years has seen it. Modern times has a pipe dream. It can be masked or contolled for periods of time, even years. But its in there. I wanted to stay forever with her. But it'a not possible. They just keep ripping and tearing you apart to were there is nothing left to do that to.. Then you are empty, exhausted and defeated. My parents are still with us and have been married for 67 years. I know what it looks like That was not possible for me. Im 46 and feel that i gave everything. There is nothing left. Im positive regarding anything else but being nice to someone in the romatic realm is not for me. I mean the genuine type. I can superficially do it. But genuine never again.
@annacamila_8 ай бұрын
Not every border has this same pattern. With proper therapy and medication, when can and we live healthy relationships
@RhiannonBell252 Жыл бұрын
❤❤❤
@plaster.art.ho310 ай бұрын
Lol I did everything my ex wanted and what I thought he wanted and I still ended up at the psych ward lmao
@RachealTrump19 күн бұрын
🌹
@DrDanielFox19 күн бұрын
Glad you found it helpful. Be well.
@wlg26774 ай бұрын
Crap too much od an issue. People with BPD just go to effective therapy and don´t get into relationships until you have improved dramatically from the disorder AND normal people avoid untreated people with BPD.
@brightphoebesays11 ай бұрын
Ew, intimacy. My then husband came home once from a unemployment emotional support group gathering, having been told he lacks emotional intimacy in his relationship, and that that is a main problem. I took it to mean we weren't having enough sex. He said that wasn't it, and I wasn't sure what he meant then, cause I thought we were plenty emotionally connected. However I did used to grit my teeth and try to visualize Brad Pit while in bed with him. I was as emotionally disconnected as possible. Soon I started pretending to be asleep, and waiting for his sleep breathing to begin before feeling safe to fall asleep myself, then outright going to the couch to sleep. I still sleep in a single bed and have no want of a double bed. I said to my last boyfriend (after divorce) that I never want to have sex again, and I meant it. Though I quite readilly pour all my feelings out on KZbin!
@DrDanielFox11 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your story and being open about your experiences.
@666ABCDEFG Жыл бұрын
❤
@1stEarlOfSurrey Жыл бұрын
Too many ads in your videos
@ohara8845 Жыл бұрын
Say bpd is just about trauma, we didn't get what we deserve as kids
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
It's not just about trauma, there's more to it. We need to see it as such to deal/manage it well. Take care
@nabman7425 Жыл бұрын
I would say that yes mainly cuz of trauma in childhood! However, the sad thing is that you carry that trauma to adulthood and start abusing the good ppl who really love you!
@evanwilliamson3602 Жыл бұрын
My ex partner could easily have sex like 6 times a day without complaining of any discomfort. She just LOVED and became attached to that one person UNTIL you argue and then her work mates would come out from the woodwork (the beta males who will take midnight chats when she’s bored etc).
@DrDanielFox Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experience. Relationships can be challenging, but it's always a learning opportunity for personal growth.
@EarlMensington Жыл бұрын
Thanks for the advice, And yes, I tried what I read the other day and it was mind blowing to see her writhing with pleasure and ready for anything. It started when I learned to last at least 30 minutes go’ogling the latest by Greyzar Drinbo and now she keeps dragging me back lol
@cgss22136 ай бұрын
Such BS. They get repulsed by intimacy. Sex is only used in the beginning of the relationship.
@DrDanielFox6 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's always interesting to hear different perspectives on relationships.
@vintagebabyseventythree62443 ай бұрын
My BPD partner is hyper sexual. I don’t feel like I can turn her down in case I trigger her abandonment fears.
@DrDanielFox3 ай бұрын
It sounds like you're navigating a really complex situation. Communication is key, so try to have open conversations about boundaries and feelings.
@Vi7ible10 ай бұрын
❤🎉
@DrDanielFox10 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.
@DavidW.-of6le Жыл бұрын
Simply genius! And yes, I tried what I read the other day and it was mind blowing to see her writhing with pleasure and ready for anything. It started when I learned to last at least 30 minutes go’ogling the latest by Greyzar Drinbo and now she keeps dragging me back lol
@EugeneH-id9wm11 ай бұрын
Very informative, I tried what I told you about and it was mind blowing to see her writhing with pleasure and ready for anything. It started when I learned to last at least 30 minutes go’ogling the latest in Greyzar Drinbo's PE Solution and now she just can't have enough
@DrDanielFox11 ай бұрын
I'm so glad to hear that you found the information helpful and that it had such a positive impact on your experience! Keep exploring and trying new things, and remember to always prioritize open communication with your partner.