5 REASONS THE INFJ GETS GHOSTED SO OFTEN

Free INFJ EPIC LIFE Formula Poster: infjformula.gr...
Get the INFJ Audio GUIDE TODAY!!! wenzes.thinkif...
Join INFJ Bootcamp Waiting List bootcampwaitin...
INFJ Life Coach Lesson: The INFJ is often the subject of ghosting because they have a hard time finding commitment from others. People who are ghosted not only feel uncomfortable but also guilt-ridden after being abandoned by someone. And yet we continue on our merry way without getting an answer why this has become such common practice amongst INFJs - until now...
All INFJ EPIC LIFE Programs: programs.wenze...
Free Resources: wenzes.com/INF...
Website: www.wenzes.com/
Instagram: / wenzes_
Facebook: / coachwenzes
#INFJ #INFJLIFECOACH #LIFECOACHING

[@freestang6662]

It's so frustrating to open up to someone and think you have a connection, only to find they'd rather be around superficial people who have no interest in knowing them. It has almost destroyed my faith in humanity.

[@aramis5301]

I feel you, this is exactly what has just happened to me. It's just so difficult to understand and accept that someone who has the ability to go deep, and can offer you the kind of "real" conversations you crave... is not interested in that. And can be satisfied with shallow small talk and people who don't care about them.

[@hcf555]

I feel both of you! Totally. Feels really unfair. People suck.

[@Tiger4ever89]

what if i told that this is the main Reason why people Ghost?

[@peterb9481]

Wow, I can really identify with this.

[@ay-tj7pj]

@@Tiger4ever89 you ghost people, people ghost you back and the cycle goes on

[@richardrenzetti4775]

Always be yourself because everyone else is taken. If that gets you ghosted then let the ghosting begin.

[@raebutler1407]

😂 I've been called weird my whole life. Now when it happens, I give them a big smile and say "Thank you!". I choose to hear it as being unique, different, or one in a million.

[@PenelopePitstop0078]

~ I adopted a quote from the film: “BeetleJuice” by actor Winona Ryder ~ “I, too, am strange and unusual!” I’ll just say it randomly when the situation calls for it and then, the other person just looks more confused ~ but me? Inside, I’m laughing, because it’s a great line & because yes, I am strange and unusual, but in a fabulous way!😁

[@derda1304]

one thing thats missing here, and i noticed it throughout my life: we make people feel seen and understood (i mean, they are, at least by us infj's) sometimes they open up and tell us about their deepest fears or abuse they've experienced and then they ghost because they can't handle to be vulnerable and never intended to open up in the first place.

[@mollybradshaw9336]

I agree. This does seem to be the pattern.

[@shrutisinnarkar9498]

I've experienced the same thing! Sooo many of my friends opened up to me and saw that I was too good at the thing they couldn't do, at being yourself, and then...the ghosting begins... I realized that it wasn't my fault later and that they're the ones who panic and leave all the time lol....now I don't even care for such friendships, if it's not "deep" I don't want it....I'd rather be alone

[@bryanjones8003]

cause they cant handle truth and change.....happending to me rigth now with one of my best... all she said.. doesnt have a time line.... happpends when have to happends.....INFJ will always get deep... more time it past more harder to deal with it.....think we are unpaid psicologist of the nation......

[@JohnSmith-ij4xe]

Oh this so true and women do this to me only to realize no guy has ever really understood them and listened to them and was totally there for them without judgement. They flip out and ghost but then try to come back to be met with the door slam. If you play games and think ghosting solves that problem rather then communicating then your cut out.

[@johnnycorn7225]

​@@JohnSmith-ij4xe dang well said!!!! This exactly!!!! She told me it scared her the way I always saw through her and I did, that's what made it so unbelievable when she tried to play games after that like I wouldn't know!

[@duchessdelarue5983]

I’ve realized that the answer to all my relationship problems is to find another INFJ

[@NdukuWambua]

Is it really? But I would tend to agree.

[@brokenwing8018]

Between a narcissist and another INFJ....I'd choose the latter :)

[@Sheisanangel0]

It is the most difficult thing to find another infj

[@duchessdelarue5983]

@@Sheisanangel0 the male INFJ is very rare. I hope I can find one!

[@nate6878]

@@duchessdelarue5983 This is true, I've met a lot of female INFJ's compared to the one INFJ male friend I've made recently and it was just instant chemistry and we're both just hella INFJ weird together and it's the best shit ever. If we're comfortable with who we are we will definitely find you first, just don't be too put off by our excitement cause personally I always get a little too happy to find another INFJ xD

[@corporaterobotslave400]

I hope this doesn't sound astoundingly arrogant, but ppl seem to ditch me b/c I'm too smart for them. I've tried to suppress my intelligence just to have friends before, but it ends up always making me feel unsatisfied and fake, and I hate fake ppl. Once I open up my ideas or plans to ppl they can't handle it, they criticize, they can't see what I'm talking about is actually possible, they doubt and run. It seems no one actually believes in themselves. Just me.

[@krstnenepoviem8250]

Yeah, same here; too intelligent 😀

[@TrickyD]

@Corporate Robot Slave "I hope this doesn't sound astoundingly arrogant, but ppl seem to ditch me b/c I'm too smart for them." 🤔How do you know that you're too smart? Because people criticize your ideas? Is their criticism valid or do you simply dismiss it? I criticize other people's ideas & opinions all the time, but this doesn't tell you anything about their intelligence. 🧠But what is an indication of their intelligence is what they do with my criticism.

[@corporaterobotslave400]

​@@TrickyD If you're having trouble recognizing a lack of intelligence in others maybe you're not so intelligent as you think.

[@Dude-dx5ns]

It sounds like people might be bored of your arrogance and maybe are not interested in you talking about yourself over and over. It's impossible for everyone to ditch you cause you're smart.

[@corporaterobotslave400]

@@Dude-dx5ns Your assessment is totally void of any truth whatsoever because it is filled with assumption.

[@1984musicman]

Something I've learnt from studying attachment theory. INFJs likely attract dismissive avoidant or fearful Avoidant types. I did so through an extension of empathy which kept me in a toxic relationship for far too long. Ultimately, avoidants fear intimacy and it's essentially your good qualities that they come to resent/run from. It's a sick and sad cycle known as the anxious avoidant trap. Not that that all INFJs are Anxious Preoccupied attachment type, but even secure INFJs will attract avoidant attachers.

[@Evilmindy12]

Thank you for your research, this makes so much sense. Sorry you dealt with toxic relationships, more so glad you got out.

[@Tified967]

Hmmm you have a point re behavioural INFJs of which there are plenty albeit cognitive INFJs, of which there are very few, I'd hypothesis (plus this is currently being backed up by some empirical data) are actually avoidant types.

[@lisaray9582]

At my last job, I worked for a company that had values I strongly disagreed with, but I was still in a mode where I made myself small and held my tongue to keep the peace. I found it increasingly hard to ignore these conflicts to my soul. One day, in front of several managers, I let myself say what I really thought about something I believed was morally wrong. The next day I was given the opportunity to take a demotion or resign. I resigned. After so many times of biting my tongue throughout my life, I decided I couldnt do it any more. It was worth the hardship this created for me.

[@ngeee10]

Same I used to be so quiet and now I can't hold my tongue for the life of me. I don't know how and when this happened.

[@eichornfilm7122]

I wish companies could see it as a benefit if their workers criticised parts of their action. That they could at least take critique into consideration or learn from input and change parts of their company at least to compromise, but that is probably just wish-thinking.

[@chocovanille5809]

Wow! What a wicked company

[@komikmischif]

I did the exact same thing and resigned lol it’s a power move my friend never sacrifice your morals they’re non negotiable

[@nancybartley4610]

Sorry that happened. But I do understand. I hope you were not jeopardized financially or in your ability to provide for yourself.

[@patrickeason7239]

Back in the day, people could talk. They now ghost because people's socialization has deminished. Jealousy, fear and insecurity are elementary reasons for shutting down and not communicating. That's what makes living in this Era so scary. What happened to the days of adults acting like adults? Ghosting shouldn't be a new normal. Talking should remain the norm.

[@garryneidig2511]

I'm 64 and only recently found out this is why I am so weird and strange never fit in. Glad to know I'm not alone now. Thank you for this.

[@WarnerElliott]

I'm 62 and was a therapist for 15 years, and I'm finally, through these videos, beginning to feel comfortable with who I am. I believe I hid behind professionalism to normalize this feeling of perpetual alienation.

[@stego2012]

I don't waste time anymore with trying to preserve friendships.

[@deborahwolff5651]

Me either

[@lauraf.e2788]

For me it's been: They know I see through them I'm too weird They want less depth They want less intellect

[@lesliethurston2151]

Well stated! Mediocrity appeases most. The extraordinary don't know how to settle, nor do they wish to learn.

[@johnnycorn7225]

Lmao perfect summary, perfect.

[@sarahboston923]

Wow....for the longest time I have pushed myself to go out to meet people to try and connect, failed multiple times, when I thought oh this person has same interests as me etc ... Ends up being ghosted time after time. This really hit home. But recently I have accepted that this is who I am, and I shouldn't try to be something I am not. Still don't have friends outside of my spouse, but if someone wants to be a friend it will happen when it will happen. Ty for this!!!! Keep up the good work!

[@XerxesBreakSama]

When I reached my mid 20s, I am satisfied with who I am. I exist not to please everyone. I can be my own person and while doing so, I can meet friends who’ll acknowledge my quirks. Hahahaha. These friends are few, very few but I do cherish them.

[@normanquednau]

Same for me... Absolutely agree

[@Betscu.]

I will break the walls that are hiding my authenticity.

[@klaudiaj646]

Unfortunately, I'm having trouble opening up. I've been let down so many times in relationships because they weren't deep enough. I opened myself up so many times to be disappointed. Now I feel like nobody's fit enough. All my life people say I'm weird. At the same time, I feel tired when I want to establish new relationships, and on the other hand, I feel lonely.

[@deborahwolff5651]

It's not us it's them. People are complicated

[@kobra4422]

I've realized I was usually punished for trying to befriend people. Especially other females my age. It's like I saw the potential in them to be a great people, while they saw me as someone to be mean with. I am not sure what caused that dynamics, but I think it's the sister wound and my insecurities. They saw my potential that I haven't seen, and treated me in way to decrease my self esteem, while they were perfectly fine with other girls. Right now I see, how my self image was messed up bc of various circumstances I grew up in, they subconsciously felt it too and tried to keep me in this low- self worth state to feel better. I wonder if someone feels similar way.

[@marandakeith399]

Wow... I have gone through this and it really sucks. Being alone with her was always fun and we laughed and had the best of times, but if other friends were around I was the punching bag. I was teased and ultimately it made me leave the group. I feel like I always get pushed out. I ALWAYS see the potential in others, but now I know to stay away from people like that.

[@nancybartley4610]

I think we may share what you expressed. Of course, no one experiences life exactly like someone else, but there are those we resonant with more than others. INFJs who were not seen and unconditionally accepted by at least one significant caregiver in their formative years will be particularly confused when they go out into the world and continue to experience what feels like being rejected. Someone failed to help you understand that being different is not the same as being bad and therefore undeserving of a place at the table. It helps if you begin to understand what MS Wenzes outlined above. People are very uncomfortable with themselves. They don't want to deal with that. You have been dealing with it all your life and trying to figure it out. You want others to feel comfortable and try to help them get "in touch." They really, really can't deal with that. So they reject us. I think the important thing is to deal with why we see rejection as a statement of our unworthiness. It goes back to your childhood. When we finally accept ourselves, we will be less alone. I don't mean other people will be there for you. You will be there for you. The hardest truth to face is that we are all alone. Best to you.

[@kobra4422]

@@nancybartley4610 thank you for the reply. I resonate a lot with what you said. I was not seen and accepted. In my teens I felt I have to be extra kind and people pleasing to recompensate being weird and shy (which was actually social anxiety). I always wanted people to feel good about themselves cause I didn't want anybody to feel like me.

[@nancybartley4610]

@@kobra4422 You are most welcome, Kobra. Take it one step at a time. Look at your posture. Start with standing up straight. Don't beat yourself up. As for weird people, I am very drawn to them. I find them interesting. There is a clerk at my Deli who tells everyone she is autistic. I am always so glad to see her. I want to ask her to lunch and I told two older friends so. They said I was weird! Oh, well. Please take care of yourself. No one else will.

[@qazedc3]

@@marandakeith399 I had a similar experience. Was made the butt of the joke in a group of females and in the end I felt like they were piranhas swarming me and the energy was so toxic I had to leave. They still talked about me afterwards and even did the whole flying monkey thing 😒 it’s jealous women and them projecting their insecurities just because one person is different and expresses different views or interests. I’m not offended because I’ve seen the way their insecure and petty asses still make fun of people we went to GRADE SCHOOL with who glowed up and are now way more successful than them. It’s jealousy. I think the ultimate solution is for us to raise our standards on the kinda of people we befriend and really aim for people who are at our level, confident in themselves and who we have things to learn from. Not projects to take on bc that eventually ends up backfiring. Or equal level as Wenzes often says But anyhow on a large level , I was thinking about this and I know that I cannot regret any of the connections I have with people in the past even if they are no longer in my life because I wouldn’t have become the person I am. Not to give them too much credit of course. We’ve mutually all served one another’s purpose.

[@tiggerthecat5525]

They only ghost me until they want something 🤣

[@ultimatelovejunkie4122]

I'm a firm believer in " if you don't mind it don't matter ". Ghost me and it's just one more person, I don't have to be concerned about. Caring for people to much is a liability.

[@Nelly_Vision]

We try to be an introverted extrovert and we end up getting burned in the end 🥺 bc people will start taking you for granted You’ll be planning and inviting people to something .. and then you notice that they never are the one to reach out to you or invite you places Not gonna keep putting in all the effort, just to get hurt

[@nancybartley4610]

It begins in our families when we are very young.

[@anthonyr6286]

In my late mid 20's I had a lot of this. I began speaking my mind a bit. I was assuming people (who I was friends with, ect) didn't like my attitude. Makes sense now!

[@Daysaum]

im an infj, and I approve this message

[@HaleyMary]

The part about the infj seeing the other person for who they really are and how they can't pretend around the infj like they can around other people makes so much sense. I think that's what happened when I hung out with a guy, where it seemed like his personality in a crowd was very bubbly and inviting, but one on one he would get distant and would also act differently when he was around his buddies. Almost like some people influenced him in his life. I love that! "Dare to be yourself more often". I'm going to write that down as a reminder and put it on my mirror so that I remind myself every day to be myself.

[@lindateuling7862]

I'm not sure I've been ghosted in the way that you're describing here, but I've had misunderstandings while in the giving mode, and at times, people didn't know what to do with it. I think that when we give of ourselves, we do run a risk of rejection, either as the relationship ending, or the other person disappearing. I know well what that means and it's painful. I've learned (and still am learning) but not everybody is going to respond to us and it's especially difficult to handle a friendship ending or being ghosted because we could connect well. It's especially difficult when it's a close emotional attachment as well. Being a teacher has helped me with the giving dynamic, as in the classroom I connect very well with some and not always with others. But it has taught me to distance myself emotionally and inside from the pain of not connecting with some people. Sooner or later we find people we do connect with. Training ourselves to care for our emotions as we do give of ourselves to others takes time and it could be learned. It isn't always easy of course. But I believe that there's a point that we could get to where it's easier to handle than it was before.

[@sonyvalencia]

I have ghosted a lot of guys on dating apps because a lot of them are manipulative.

[@MegaCyberleader]

dem are the breaks.

[@johnrage8163]

The more my conscience knows the less I have to use intuition

[@TrickyD]

😏Funny in my case it often is the complete opposite, the more I know of a certain subject the more creative my thought process will be. If I'm unfamiliar with a subject my thought process will be logical & linear where I go from A to B to C etc. And if I know a great deal about a subject (and everything connected) my thought process will be more creative & intuitive where I can go from A to D real fast cauz I skipped everything inbetween, realise I made a mistake so go back to B but then end up with D again in a much faster time. 😎So when it comes to subjects I'm real familiar with, like my own conscience, I usually trust my intuition (creative thinking). It's my experience that if I want to check my gut feeling by rethinking it logically, 9 out of 10 times my intuition was spot on.

[@normanquednau]

To make myself small was a habit I didnt even notice; just wanting to fit in... To work this out took me quite some time. As a 53 year old, this clear knowlewdge about INFJ still wasnt available. Thanks for uploading!

[@ninaromm5491]

@ Exactly ! Isn't it a pity that this information is only becoming available now! It irritates me deeply...

[@derda1304]

well, jung published his book "Psychologische Typen" 1921 (the book hat introduced cognitive functions, you know Ni and Fe etc.) Myers-Briggs published their type indicator 1944 (those guys invented the acronym INFJ) It's not quite clear when 16Personalitiess came about to combine MBTI with the "Big Five" (perhaps 2011, indexed by google for more than 10 years) (they invented the fifth letter, like infj-t or infj-a) (also, 16P made this one incredibly popular online test that mistypes everyone by at least one category) (there are many more theories around this complex, for example objective personality theory, but they are not comparable in popularity) (there is also this psycho-analytic test used by scientology: Oxford Capacity Analysis, OCA, invented 1955, based on Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis (T-JTA) from 1941. please stay away from them) by the way: everything apart from the big five is considered to be pseudo-science (but, the big five are not really helpful for managing your personal life) The Big Five (or "OCEAN-model") were in development since the 1930s and found academic recognition since the 1980s. Nowaday the big five are used in thousands of scientific studies... but as its not particularly useful for individual life, there aren't that many videos about it and a last note: INFJ means different things in different theories

[@MrGadfly772]

Being ghosted is a lifestyle for me. I keep thinking to myself (in a dark humor sort of way) "to know me is to loathe me."

[@nathanfwaggoner3428]

Beautiful message.🌺 This reminds me of the teacher Robin Williams played in the 1989 film "Dead Poets Society" when he inspired his students to "Carpe Diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."

[@bluebellbell3725]

I don´t think I've been ghosted (so much). Rather me ghosting people. I'm very rational: thinking about how a person is. If the person is immature they want me to listening to them or I'm not "cool"/partying enough to be with. I only open up to people I really trust and that take a long time. Maybe people have ghosted me, but I haven't noticed/cared.

[@roslyncerro1263]

Bluebell, my experience is that people don't want to take the time. I want to observe for a while. It's an instant gratification world.❤

[@XerxesBreakSama]

I can really be weird. I play at a different wavelength most of the time so I understand… However, I am the type who gets happy when (not so significant) people disconnect or stop talking to me - prolonged conversations with them is tiring lol. There are times when I’m looking for ways not to meet up or decline invitations even with close friends/colleagues. Weird right? I also dont agree for the sake of agreeing. I agree when I agree but I disagree when I disagree. Hahaha. I will never stop people from having fun but they cant force me to define the same fun I have in mind. 😂 I can tell if a person doesnt like me easily. But i do make an effort to show that I mean well but I wont be pretentious.. However, if that person continues to be hostile or be rude to me, Ill treat him/her like a pebble - with apathy.

[@bobby3003]

The funny thing is that a person who ghosted me last month was an INFJ :D

[@aquariusstar7248]

💖💖💖 I still struggle with accepting that ppl are going to be shocked or thrown off when I'm authentic and real abt myself, or when I can see through their facade and being pushed away. But then I say, "oh, yeah! Im an INFJ! Of course they dont get me!"😆😆 it's getting easier! Thanks, Wenzes!

[@nancybartley4610]

I think they get us just fine in one important way: we see them and they are uncomfortable with being seen. I wonder if INFJs are just scapegoats. People ostracize us because we make them so uncomfortable with the truth.

[@nancybartley4610]

People don't like truthtellers. INFJs see the truth and aren't afraid of it. We don't even have to voice it. People know we know. Other times the truth we are aware of is just some little insignificant thing to us but is really important to someone else's self-image. (We do miss that part, unfortunately.) We miss the fine nuance of these little dances going on between others because we don't participate in the dance or even know the dance. We just know the dance is going on and call it out as a mask for the truth. We are some kind of weird people, for sure.

[@johnnycorn7225]

Omg you are so correct on this one. This is the greatest crime an infj commits socially!! People wonder why we're crazy walking around having to observe all of these people needing to live in their obvious falsehoods together!! That's why I love being home

[@greywolf850]

Epicurious said when you decide to pursue a life of self improvement, pursuit of knowledge and wisdom, and better society prepare to be attacked, judged, condemned, ridiculed…. No truer words were ever spoken.

[@roslyncerro1263]

God forbid we could verbalize this to another human.❤

[@shrutisinnarkar9498]

this was my BIGGEST question! WHY?! why do they do that to me?! This explains so much...the problem is with them, not me...I knew that all along but this gives good reasons to the why. I'll never stop being MYSELF just cuz someone has a problem with it. NEVER. So so helpful. Thank you!

[@dustinmaust8380]

Ghosting is equated to cowardice.

[@R.S-1986]

Youre not naive. We always knew what we want but at some point we gave up with the excuse it doesnt exist, now its fear,denial but we know this time its real. Face your fears and stop caring what others think. Its not the houses, cars, or diamonds, its the person who is with us to enjoy life, someone who you can really trust to keep your heart safe and forever. Trueth always comes out as i knew very well before showing up in your life. Youre awesome ❤️💪😊

[@jamalcole1985]

Hmm my mbti is INTJ & I noticed "some" infj women are inconsistent with communication but when we do talk it's a good conversation.

[@Tified967]

Are you sure they're cognitive INFJs and not behavioural INFJs? The latter of which is rare.

[@silentbeep]

This is a really hard thing. Because my natural impulse is to go deep quickly. But I know that people often don't like that, or can't go there so early. So I try to show up and meet people where they are at. Eventually, I show up at a deeper level, and I always sense that it's too much, or it's weird, or they are surprised. It's so hard to go through this. I've been there the entire time but I'm slowly revealing the other facets of who I am. It's like they get stuck at only one facet or something. It's maddening.

[@roslyncerro1263]

Eileen, perhaps because they did their due diligence on us, snapshotted their idealized version of us like say a stepford wife (I'm dating myself here)....then we let our profound self show. To them, that intelligence bothers their ego. So you end up being ghosted.

[@Tified967]

This is more indicative of Fi-Ni convergence as opposed to Ni-Ti convergence (abstract objectivism) but you do completely echo the sentiments of Wenzes video; I just think Wenzes is a behavioural but not a cognitive INFJ who are comparatively very rare

[@SilkeSaint]

The older I get; the more I let the cats out of the bag , as far as showing up as myself. Authenticity genuinely scares most people. OTOH.. it’s also funny as hell. 🤭

[@exholonsphantoms3617]

Same 😂

[@liveitup_GJ]

Omg we scare people off!! We are too blunt and deep! We don’t like BS only the truth! To me it happens a lot especially when I think I’ve found a connection 😢

[@crossroads900]

Many thanks Wenzes. This has happened to me all my life and true, I've never cared. This time in particular was different because the connection seemed more mutual than usual, and I really couldn't put my finger on it where I usually can. You have helped shed light on what happened, thank you. I don't understand personality traits and don't follow the many acronyms they have, but I have talked (made to) to many psychiatrists over many years because I'm so different and have never heard any of them explain things in this way (wonder why). I've started scrolling through your videos and am very intrigued.

[@joannadavignon1608]

I keep telling myself that I don’t care because I care too much

[@crossroads900]

@@joannadavignon1608 Mmmm, when I say I don't care maybe that's a little stringent of a word. What I mean I guess is that it has happened in such a natural way all of my life that I accepted it as the way things are. Put better I guess would be, like normal it doesn't bother me to be ghosted yet again. This time just happened to be unique. This Wenzes person, I don't know what a life coach is...I know psychiatrist and they aren't good (easily stumped); this person is different to me...I will continue to follow. Thank you for responses :)

[@Wenzes]

Do you think INFJs get ghosted more often than most other types?

[@lonebrawler1846]

I'm a ghost.

[@tanyas8596]

@@stephenbesley3177 I do know how you feel man, we've all been there. I'm going to pray for you right now, hope that is OK. I read the book of John when I start to feel different and I see how that's OK.

[@TrickyD]

😎I'm not really sociable, I don't wanna be in a relationship with people I don't really connect with, which unfortunately is the majority. I guess it's more the case of me doin' the ghosting instead of bein' ghosted?

[@deborahwolff5651]

Absolutely 💯

[@mkara9250]

@@stephenbesley3177 you should ask for help.I am sure everything is gonna be ok!

[@Sheisanangel0]

I do the ghosting or deliberately do things to let people leave.

[@brandieschmitt8974]

Never make yourself small to accommodate somebody else’s insecurities. Stop living in the shadows of others when we belong atop the lighthouse leading the way

[@bonnieleelee9936]

OMG, I'm 74 and just found out I'm Infj. Thanks

[@stacyradziewicz1094]

finding these videos has been life changing!!! I have thought for 56 years that I was broken! "They can not give you the real you're looking for." sigh...

[@crossroads900]

Thanks!

[@jvas33]

At this point I think INFJ needs to be with another INFJ. It could be explosive but deeply passionate. However, I find it very hard to find another of my antonomy.

[@Tified967]

Behavioural INFJs are actually very common whereas cognitive INFJs are very rare so there is hope 😊

[@johnnycorn7225]

My best friend Zachary RIP was also an infj. It's been nearly 10 years since we lost him and my world has been a very very different place. We recorded albums together, we uncovered abilities and strength that only came from our efforts in tandem and our natural resonance frequencies produced an energetic auric chord that was the power behind it. It's something special indeed.

[@ryanunderwood5465]

We let everyone prove with their actions, just as we do in our own life. 2 way street always.

[@royaltii_]

I dont know what type i am but i wish i could meet a friend thats real as u describe. Sounds like a fun connection to just be w someone else who's being.

[@MindBodyBronx]

Just figured out this is my type and the pain part is soooo true. Ppl are never ready to face themselves with me

[@tanyas8596]

I just cancelled a playdate last minute today because I have a migraine. For real not just wanting to stay in. I wonder how many times I get to do that before they ghost me lol

[@RobertJones-et7gh]

Girl! Your videos are spot on! Each time I listen to them, the more I like myself and the more I embrace my inner truth. That includes this video. Thanks for gifting us INFJs the realization that it’s normal and safe to be ourselves.

[@simondevos7005]

Additionally thoughts ghosting can be cause by personal interest, distracted by other things in life, there’s a lot of variety of issues or concerns that cause them to ghost you. It could be nothing personal, let them sort out their own concerns , give them the space that they Need

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Love is only REAL in the heart.

[@mickavoidant4780]

It might hurt when they do it, but anyone ghosts me, it's their loss and they weren't worth knowing.

[@sandraramosrojas84]

This couldn't be more accurate. Thank you!!

[@callieelliesociety]

ENFJ watching to understand my INFJ BF. I want all these things, too. Personal Integrity and Accountability is a requirement, at least for me.

[@elliecaldwell5241]

Thank you. That really helps to not take it personally 😊

[@chocolatesprinkles8737]

This is extremely relatable, also comforting to know that I am not alone in experiencing this. Thank you for talking about this, it hurts every time it happens but being myself is not a choice.

[@marcp.1752]

We don't need confirmation from our coworkers, and especially not from the boss @work. We do just need to know, that we're doing our job fine, according to our own feeling, & -standards. That's quite enough. But i know that issue very well - *if* you're not that person for (silly & useless) gossip aka and smalltalk aka "chit-chat" with coworkers, hence not "socialising", you're being considered a weirdo. For myself - the worst things have been always into life that so called "unsocial" events with coworkers, going onto a day trip together "for the team spirit..." and/-or having lunch, xmas parties, etc. -together...just horrible, even worse than i imagined...all kinds of supercial, skindeep ppl and stupid smalltalk...i can't stand it.

[@roslyncerro1263]

Right on Marc❤

[@MultiStats]

Yeah, this has happened to me. It can be a manipulative act, so not worth pursuing. There are times when the other person has decided you have no role in their lives, and this is the easiest way for them to handle it. It's nothing insidious, but can hurt. In either case, the best thing to do is to move on, don't make it issue of it, and don't seek an explanation. Trying to "fix it" just won't work. There is also passive ghosting where the other person makes absolutely no effort to stay in touch, and acting all glad when you get in touch with them. I'm an INFJ, but be aware that this system of personality typing is largely considered pseudo-science. This is better than astrology, but nothing to base your life on.

[@FamousDEntPrize-ze9pw]

Thank you for helping me on this path 😊😊 i see results everyday new beginnings daily i am ao happy wow i will step out into the world a different man wow even my confidence will show more.... i am a Recording Artiste I need my God i need this i cant be afraid of my duty thank you my Lord 😊

[@nancy97]

This video is perfect timing for me, thank you Wenzes!

[@cinderling5472]

My gosh ..i clicked on this one, not sure if it would be something i could relate to (haven't put myself out there enough to experience much ghosting), but was curious anyway and now. .. I'm crying 🥲🙈. This hit. Whoa..i just, have no words. Thank You so, SO much 💖🙏

[@shirleydaniels9310]

Omg sooo true damn my whole life summoned up wow she's right

[@brandonnabrotzky9823]

Oh my goodness I love this video so much! I mean, I normally love all of your videos… but this one especially hit home. Every single point was just so precisely accurate - every single one! I especially liked what you said at the beginning though, about differentiating what “ghosting” means to us INFJs vs to the general public. It’s true that we don’t consider the normal, everyday ghosting as true ghosting in the same way as most other people do. It really is more of the shock that comes from when once-close friends - people we actually had a strong foundation with - suddenly disappear, seemingly without warning. I would say that this is probably what sets the INFJ ghosting experience apart from most other types: the fact that even our close friends end up ghosting us sometimes. And I think your reflections on why are spot-on, Wenzes! Thank you for these insights!

[@mikefox9497]

Your channel has helped me understand feelings I’ve felt forever and couldn’t explain why. I’m a Sigma male, but as far as personality…INFJ is 💯 % me! Your 👀’s are so beautiful. Sensational, inside and out 🙏!

[@MetaTron3693]

💜⭐️💜Really nicely said. Insight is valuable. Sometimes I feel I don’t know myself at all. And on the other hand there is so much to accept about myself that I have rejected because of how others perceive me. We are so different from the norm. Spirituality has given me the structure to reflect and change behaviours that no longer serve me. Looking at the big picture of why we are here….and to recognize the power we have within us. To love the good and bad aspects of ourselves. Forgiveness of ourselves first. We are all here in this human form for a reason and a purpose. Keep you eye to the future and love unconditionally. Much love everyone. 💜⭐️💜

[@databasenomad]

Waauw, It happened to me 2 years ago and I couldn't understand that a person who was my friend started to ghost me. Until today I'm angry on her. But with your explanation, I understand now better.

[@fatimamalik1138]

1:10 1) a bruised ego

[@Aceofcups111]

We don’t get ghosted. We ghost.

[@NL2500]

❤

[@yesteam1528]

I have met an INTJ (INFJ myself) and every once in a while he would ghost me for no reason. I try to act cool and fine the next time we chat again but I’m curious as to why they don’t put in the same amount of effort that I do to maintain a mutual relationship? To anyone reading this, do you have any advice for me? Is it wise for me not to tolerate the disrespect and prioritise myself instead or am I being too sensitive and they could just be a busy person and it’s nothing personal? 😅

[@tundesebestyen3639]

Petfectly summarized and worded. Thank you

[@Tiger11383]

You have helped me realize so much about myself. Thank you so very much.

[@annee5582]

My cousins did this so many times and I still don’t know why they did it. Made no sense at the time. When I was younger a close family and a friend stole from me a few times. I never blamed them for their choices (even after they were found out) and gave them space to be human but they still didn’t want to be my friend. 😅weirdo i am.

[@simondevos7005]

Whether you are an INFJ or other personality trait class . For example, if are being ghosted . The problem is not your fault or your responsibility to make right . We are not people pleaser. or attitude adjusters Either that person is Trying to provoke you out pure jealousy Jealousy, by traumatize you, to unstabilze your character . 2:22 2:22 There’s several reasons. So my advice to you ( the less you say , the less they something bad to say to you, The making of many words will get in trouble Discipline your tongue for they will use it against you advice to ( the less you say. The

[@simondevos7005]

Don’t let others disturbed your peace of mind. Just continue pursuing your goals , Just remember, ghosting is peaceful. There’s no Drama here.

[@mmaarriioo13]

I've been trying my best to not identify has an infj because of labeling but your videos resonate too deeply even a quick watch your braking down my life....

[@sajidulhasan2027]

Kind of left out the obvious "they're jealous of your accomplishments" thing. Sick of losing friends as i open up about my achievements and they get jealous and stop speaking. I earned what I've done, I've been curious in life and made the effort to achieve things. Instead of inspiring you, you walked away

[@penneyburgess5431]

Thank you. This was not the answer I was expecting.

[@richardmorrison2686]

Yes many thanks , another point , on our personality well done

[@simsim876]

Enfp here :) me and my good Infj friend had a little exchange of words, sharing a piece of our minds as we were in a bad mood. I later responded with love and make up smiles, then we didn’t talk for 2 months so I blocked him as we previously spoke every week/day and he then responded 2.5 months later with ‘did you block me lol’ as I was upset, angry and the nerve he had to communicate with me when he felt to, I didn’t respond to which he ended it saying ‘I guess that’s it, have a good life’ - the end. I’m still deeply upset and angry, 50:50 hate and love. I always think of him, but then I don’t want a friend who ghosts me even though I was an understanding friend to him, we had a connection and we felt comfortable with another. Plus I was his only friend :( so I guess Infj can be at fault too?

[@alext.9033]

You both were immature, especially the INFJ male. But he should've responded better. Just learn from this 😀, as a mature INFJ male is very rare -INFJ male

[@simsim876]

@@alext.9033 thank you INFJ 💛 you’re right, the goal is to find a mature one :) as I really do adore you guys! 💫

[@yummybaconandeggs8804]

I think because infj have abilities others don't and are uncommon it frightens some because it is not what they are used to and they might ghost. It can cause infjs as children to act small.

[@davidepigliacelli3787]

Nice message, It happened to me, that is, talking about happening is perhaps wrong, because something that happens cyclically. It is something that has solid causes. So I made it happen to me 4 or 5 times. I always want to know more and I am suspicious but confident. I would doubt the angels, and their good intentions. 🤣. The truth is that we cannot know if another person really appreciates us, or aspires to achieve a higher human level. Or understand which things are nonsense and which count. Because we are not satisfied with seeing that someone understands, we want to see them, and it is a bit science fiction. While if we can do it, for us, well maybe it is easier that we feel satisfied. Maybe🤣

[@Robsi60]

I am ghosted by everyone,except my sister. At some point they all vanish and I look at it as normal. It is just a matter of time. Some I am still spamming with trues just for fun. Now I enjoy life much but it took a long time getting rid of this fake behaviour.I made me to an ant being an elephant myself.

[@user-ge8eo6de3p]

As a INFP, literally everyone ghosts me :(

[@chilloften]

I’m an RN. Nobody wants real, trust that. I am hated upon eyesight.

[@saralaw7855]

I am so #4 and #5 and can’t seem to keep friends. I give up.

[@sagebay2803]

lol...same. You are not alone!

[@sysye]

I rarely get ghosted, but im guilty of ghosting often

[@laurafelix1943]

How to deal with this personality at work? I had a terrible situation on my work being truly, finding out people were false with me and not knowing what to do about it. That's when I found out I'm an INFJ. How to be myself at work. In fact, I was rejected for not playing the game after it was clear they were false. I ended up leaving that place cause it gave me anxiety, I'm kind traumatized with people.

[@MaryAliceWise]

3:15 is my biggest problem.

[@thechaostrials1964]

I am an INFJ. I was also recently diagnosed autistic (ASD) and ADHD. I have found that I am so frequently ghosted, that I no longer attach to anyone. Maybe, I never did. People seem fascinated and obsessed with me at the beginning of a friendship or relationship, we spend lots of time together, and then poof. Gone. I know that autism/ADHD is not your focus necessarily, I'm just curious about the links between INFJs, HSPS, and ASD/ADHD. They seem so interconnected. Thanks.

[@HansenFT]

We're kinda known for doing ourselves though, as it's necessarily a part of the so called "door slam". So I'm cool with it. No one owes me anything, unless explicitly agreed upon, so morally I'm fine with it. Might emotionally dislike it right there and then. But would never complain or actually think I'm a victim of this. In fact it's a data point, tells me something. Knowledge is almost always a good thing.

[@piotraugustyniak6591]

Great video 👍 great advice 💯

[@jennifergrant6873]

I’m beginning to wonder if maybe, because of extroverted feeling, I expect too much from other people. I want that deep connection, but once I have it, I also want independence & alone time so how can I blame someone else for wanting the same? I’m going to try turning that extroverted feeling toward myself more - developing my own life & not so much trying to figure out why I feel like I don’t fit in b/c I can fit in if I choose to not expect so much from others & take responsibility for my own ultra-sensitive feelings instead of blaming others for being callous & shallow. It’s not easy when you feel so much, but I’m beginning to realize that the only alternative is a lifetime of pain & isolation.

[@SmutnyCzlek]

Embrace the void.

[@kristiancrisolo3903]

Great topic. So grateful for what you do Wenzes.