I would love to know... what is the rudest question you have ever received and how did you respond to it? Were you happy with your response or do you wish you had handled it differently? I look forward to reading your comments. As always, thank you for watching. Love, Jennifer
@Alice-oe4kd3 жыл бұрын
For me the worst and most painful question (when I was younger) was When are you going to have children? or Why don't you have children? or something like that. I am in my 70's and don't have children - not by choice.
@sherylchapman41683 жыл бұрын
For me it is “why do you even exist?” And “why are you so ugly?”
@LadyBeeSting24343 жыл бұрын
Oh I responded in the main section. :/
@KMCAFWorld3 жыл бұрын
I have a lot of siblings, and when I was a kid people would ask me things like, ”Are your parents going to have more kids?” And then follow up with, ”How do you feel about your parents having more kids?” All these questions and similar ones made me so uncomfortable growing up.
@bethany451013 жыл бұрын
Someone asked me if all my children had the same father? The answer of course is yes. I feel like they asked because my middle son is blonde with blue eyes and my other two have dark features. But I was taken aback by that. Their father is blonde with blue eyes but he shaves his head and has a darker brown beard. I have dark hair and eyes. It was so odd lol
@LucieInChicoCA3 жыл бұрын
Years ago, Ann Landers offered a wonderful response for virtually any rude or unwanted question: smile and say, “I can’t imagine why that would interest you.”
@kimmyball49613 жыл бұрын
Love that!!!!
@Red_19763 жыл бұрын
Yes but the ones with no social awareness would actually elaborate.. trust me I’ve met them!
@almaburns65623 жыл бұрын
@@Red_1976 Yes, they'll pretend they're concerned for our well-being, that's why they asked it.
@LucieInChicoCA3 жыл бұрын
Jen Jen, you are a hoot with your “no social awareness”! The trick is to reply and pivot away. Or smile and say nothing to the socially unaware response, if you have the stones LOL.
@TraceyBillsHomes3 жыл бұрын
A lot of things interest me, that's why I asked. 😄
@juliemoore69573 жыл бұрын
It always bothered me when people found out I was a stay at home mom, they assumed I didn't do anything. Staying at home with kids is the most important, and most difficult job there is! No coffee or lunch breaks, no raises or awards for performance. But we are nurturing the next generation! Our culture seems to only approve of jobs that make lots of money. It is so sad.
@missbennett853 жыл бұрын
Standards for childrearing and homemaking vary from person to person. If you put a lot of effort into training and educating your children as well as cleaning and organizing your home, you will be much busier than the average person would realize.
@catharineinniss99063 жыл бұрын
Most important job ever!!!
@dlala4303 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@ali183983 жыл бұрын
Its a worldwide issue.
@catherineprady44723 жыл бұрын
Aaaaggghh I hate that too. People also assume that being at home means you have time to help them with whatever project they have in mind, run clubs, etc. etc. etc. "But what do you DO all day?" has to be up there on the top ten rude questions list...
@dagny83363 жыл бұрын
"What are you mixed with?" "Sugar, spice and everything nice."
@janicehill47763 жыл бұрын
I though of the same nursery rhyme.
@mallorygraf85743 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@paulawashington31753 жыл бұрын
Bravo!
@melodyashwin46433 жыл бұрын
Aw man I hate being asked this question I feel you!
@adacasas5113 жыл бұрын
Klingon and Borg. When my ship returns your species will be assimilated or processed for consumption!
@cvtemgrapes2073 жыл бұрын
Rude question asker: What do you do for a living? Me: As little as possible.
@ThePriam33 жыл бұрын
😆
@jennifergersch91263 жыл бұрын
Is this "rude" per se, or just unimaginative? Years ago, when I was job hunting, I would tell people that when they asked this question. Big mistake! They would just go down the rabbit hole with you. ("What kind of job are you looking for? Maybe I know someone....") Sometimes, you just want to talk about anything but.
@Katiecr873 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@JacarandaJo3 жыл бұрын
A whole lot of nothing
@sbmal Жыл бұрын
I love these answers!
@ginnyrust68743 жыл бұрын
Someone very wise said “I’ll forgive you for asking if you’ll forgive me for not answering. “ (Baby question) 👏👏👏
@WiseWomanLola3 жыл бұрын
I love this response
@catharineinniss99063 жыл бұрын
I love it too!
@irmaorta93113 жыл бұрын
Good one!!👌
@annaalm183 жыл бұрын
I love this one and will remember it for when I might need it:))
@Meagan06243 жыл бұрын
I believe that was Dear Abby, the advice columnist. Brilliant retort.
@judyammann80913 жыл бұрын
I remembered my elegant mother responding to an intrusive question with the reply “I am so surprised you asked that question.” And then she just smiled at the questioner.
@maeb77233 жыл бұрын
Oh that's so good!
@dianaf63333 жыл бұрын
Love that!
@whiskersBOOSTER23 жыл бұрын
I’m going to borrow that one if you don’t mind!
@linda61313 жыл бұрын
Perfect
@suzih.66873 жыл бұрын
I love that!
@janetstonerook45523 жыл бұрын
My daughter and her husband, who were devoted to their careers, had their son later in life and decided to stop at one. He was quite a rambunctious toddler and they were super tolerant of his antics. When people would ask when she was going to have a second child, she'd reply, "We're still trying to decide if we're going to keep the one we have!"
@jesussaves79733 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@tuesdayheck4573 жыл бұрын
😊
@vickieva29273 жыл бұрын
That is a great comeback 😂
@lkreinmiller-author3 жыл бұрын
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@David-lv3ve3 жыл бұрын
🤣
@jennysroad3 жыл бұрын
"What do you do for a living?" 'I'm independently wealthy' is my go to. No one has dared follow-up.
@vtheb12993 жыл бұрын
Why? They should ask how you did it!
@jennysroad3 жыл бұрын
@@vtheb1299 they've never asked me how before. And I would probably answer, "Magic" with a smile, to really drive home the point that it's none of your damn business.
@texasstardust60103 жыл бұрын
.....Similar to my own comment I made,....I still use the phrase I stated in my comment. ...if a man poses that query to me. 😉🙂
@lindahall35463 жыл бұрын
Yes!! ( they judge foodservers terribly)
@jearodz3 жыл бұрын
Lol 😃😃
@lindaallen40453 жыл бұрын
My husband gave me great advice when someone asks either a rude or personal question: you respond by saying, “why do you ask”? This way you turn the tables toward them. 😉
@DansonforJoy3 жыл бұрын
Love that idea for response! 👌
@chellybarnard63943 жыл бұрын
PERFECT!
@toniwadsworth75773 жыл бұрын
Why is always a good question.
@27foxplace3 жыл бұрын
Genius!
@saramations3 жыл бұрын
i feel like spinning the question back onto them is a butt thing to do in most cases. might as well just answer the question at that point if you're going to spend your breath.
@BansMama3 жыл бұрын
Not so much a question, but a comment. “You look tired.” No matter how tired someone looks, please never tell them you think so.
@dorothy96183 жыл бұрын
I’ve been told I look tired many times when I felt fine. At some point I realized that people made this comment when I wore black close to my face
@GemsOfGrace3 жыл бұрын
My mother in law has told me a few times that I look “tired”. One time was shortly after having my son. I probably did look tired but sometimes she says whatever comes to her mind 😂🙈. I try not to let it get to me and just smile.
@InHisSservice3 жыл бұрын
thank you for the reminder. i make this mistake with friends, out of concern, and this is a helpful tip.
@gardengirl74463 жыл бұрын
I've had this happen too. So rude!
@gardengirl74463 жыл бұрын
@@GemsOfGrace ahhh yes...I have that kind of mom in law. I've been told my hair is "too big" and the rash on my chin will spoil my wedding photos. :) lovely
@312siren3 жыл бұрын
Women often get questions from men about why they are not smiling, as if we have to smile for them all the time!
@Michelle-zz7no3 жыл бұрын
YES!! 😡😡😡. Why do you think I should be smiling??!!
@Lucinda_Jackson3 жыл бұрын
This is infuriating. It’s also infuriating the other way round. I went back to school as an adult after some years as a SAHM. Being the people pleaser that I was, I had a tendency to smile a lot. I was in a hospital setting with some other students, doctors and nurses when this particular doctor who enjoyed being a trial to those he considered “lesser” than himself - basically anyone who wasn’t also a doctor. One day he chose me as his target during a sort of “rounds” situation involving a group of other students and personnel. He turned, stared at me, and asked, “Why are you smiling?” Before I could stop myself, I retorted, “Just being useful and grinning like the village idiot to highlight your brilliance so there won’t be any doubt.” He actually took a step back away from me, then said, “That was a surprisingly good answer to a very rude question. I apologize.” And we all just continued in as if it hadn’t happened. He was very respectful after that!
@312siren3 жыл бұрын
@@Lucinda_Jackson Damned if you do smile and damned if you don't!
@Lucinda_Jackson3 жыл бұрын
@@312siren Exactly!
@paulawashington31753 жыл бұрын
@@Lucinda_Jackson Good for you!
@elizabethbednarcik33113 жыл бұрын
My husband works for our local sheriff's office and absolutely hates when people ask what he does. Inevitably they will tell a story about being pulled over, or when they think they have a friend who will help them if they get a ticket. He usually tells everyone he cuts grass.
@jenwatson2863 жыл бұрын
Tell him thank you for his sacrifice and his service. Most people have no idea what people in law enforcement deal with. He should offer to bring them on a night shift on the weekend!
@carolg.68383 жыл бұрын
And at this time some people don't respect officers so the questioner might go off on a tirade.
@Michelle-zz7no3 жыл бұрын
Probably the same if you’re a lawyer or something similar!! You’d expect adults to really know better!!!
@drleonesse3 жыл бұрын
I'm a chiropractor. You'd be surprised how many people at a party want me to treat/diagnose them at a party!
@joseeallyn99503 жыл бұрын
Priests, doctors and anyone with an expertise is asked for advice. I am a painter I was once asked if I would paint a picture of The Alamo, in purple , for a friend whose sofa was purple. I did...they paid.
@msdsamo3 жыл бұрын
“What do you do for a living?” “I’m a princess.” 🤣
@5781nashmiller3 жыл бұрын
Mermaid would be a good reply too!
@msdsamo3 жыл бұрын
@@5781nashmiller 😂😂😂
@kimmyball49613 жыл бұрын
Love this!!!!
@lkreinmiller-author3 жыл бұрын
I got asked a lot when I left my career to raise and homeschool my 3 kids. I created a rather lofty mantra to reply with and before I knew it other home schooling moms were using it. One even printed business cards with it. I LOVED ♥️♥️♥️ it. It ended with "What do you do, dearie?" Perhaps not as elegant and Jennifer would be and a little snarky, but it was never asked nicely. Snark for snark. 😳😳😳
@GUCC11973 жыл бұрын
I’m writing a book😜
@Prague4Introverts3 жыл бұрын
If I get asked "why are you so quiet" I smile and say "I didn't want to interrupt you, dear". 😁
@steffa6483 жыл бұрын
Haha best response!!
@tuscandreams98613 жыл бұрын
😂❤
@schroekate3 жыл бұрын
This is perfect!
@marimedgal3 жыл бұрын
I love that! I’m an introvert and I’m quiet around people I don’t know very well. I will try to remember to use that response the next time someone asks me that question.
@tomlambert9153 жыл бұрын
@@marimedgal at a party once, a loudmouth extrovert woman insultingly said "do you speak english? i insulted her back in german.
@gardener58573 жыл бұрын
My grandmother taught me over 50 years ago how to respond to a forward question. Look them straight in the eye & ask them "Why would you ask me that?" It stops them dead in their tracks. They are faced with the issue of explaining why they are so nosy & why they overstep boundaries. In the over 50 years I've used this it has worked 100% of the time. I have never been put in a corner feeling compelled to answer a question I didn't want to answer.
@user-ii3vn8tn3q3 жыл бұрын
Or, ‘why would you notice? ‘
@j.darrel5173 жыл бұрын
Love it! I feel that if people are rude enough to ask a rude question, I am just rude enough to let them know it.
@kerryclark71703 жыл бұрын
My mother always said to say WHY to noisey people..
@sabbey-3 жыл бұрын
My grandmother used to respond to rudeness by asking, "Whatever possessed you to say that??" It always made the person (including me) feel instantly ashamed of their rudeness.
@JosannaMonik3 жыл бұрын
exactly; "why do you need to know" is another good one.
@janinesenatore38703 жыл бұрын
As a single woman, the one I really hate is, "why didn't you ever get married?". It's so loaded with judgment, at least that's my take. The implication being there's something wrong with you that you never married, not that it might be because you never met the right person or that you chose not to. I feel that single people are not understood or appreciated for their contributions to our world/society. I have never ince been thanked for the taxes I've paid that have helped educate their children. Ok, sorry for the rant.
@tinajseemann3 жыл бұрын
I just added this question as well! One is considered incomplete somehow...secretly, some people might be jealous of our freedom. " I have myself to look after that takes up all my time, thank you!"
@abcgoeshome51773 жыл бұрын
I tend to say: Nobody ever managed to catch me - and move on. When in Africa (the area where I was this was a socially accepted question) I'd say: I'm too expensive.
@stevecarson41623 жыл бұрын
I'm *"successfully single"* myself -- and whenever I'm asked "Why aren't you married?" I reply "Just lucky, I guess!" I know that women resent being asked; but it's loaded for a man, too, because it often implies, "Are you gay?" And SO MANY people think a man must be absolutely helpless without an efficient wife to "take care of" him. No, I'm self-sufficient thanks! Although a lot of married men I've met would probably be eating spaghetti right out of the can if they weren't married. Some of them are so completely incompetent that it's shocking. And in some cultures, boys are RAISED to be helpless so they'll have to get married.
@crystalbluewire33393 жыл бұрын
Not a rant, just the facts . Another rude question is why don't you have children. Or right after my brothers wife died some idiot asked him "Are you going to start dating again or get married again" ?
@crystalbluewire33393 жыл бұрын
Steve Carson nothing is more attractive than a self sufficient man or woman. Hats off to you . I am thusly inclined towards independence/ self sufficientcy. It would have to take one heck of a good connection to be better than that. For me anyway.
@savannahbanks3 жыл бұрын
When asked if I work (I don’t!), I say "No, I’m purely decorative!"
@gardengirl74463 жыл бұрын
I'm going to use that! Thanks!
@rachelarmel75473 жыл бұрын
LOVE that response!! Brilliant. You're disarming them with humor.
@Sunnydreamer14703 жыл бұрын
Omg that’s hysterical!!! I’m decorative 😂
@blancaorozco75373 жыл бұрын
jajaja! yes, people ask me that sooo many times! They asume we are just scratching our belly.
@MrBiffo19563 жыл бұрын
I hate it when being a home maker means you don't work. It's hard work. It's just not paid.
@sophiaemanuel89673 жыл бұрын
Instead of asking what someone does for a living, you can ask, “so how do you spend your time?”. This gives the other person the opportunity to share whatever they want about themself!
@mfar30163 жыл бұрын
Excellent! Another variation of it that I recently heard is “what keeps you busy?”
@pamcarr35983 жыл бұрын
Unless of course they are a stay at home spouse and/or mother than asking it like that sounds rude because it puts the person on the defensive because they have to justify how they spend their time.
@rootlessnurse63453 жыл бұрын
I ask, “what are you passionate about?”
@jennifergersch91263 жыл бұрын
@@mfar3016 "What are you passionate about?" Here's a secret: For a lot people, it's anything but work!
@jacquelynplace44363 жыл бұрын
I really think that is a much MORE personal question. What you do (more often than not primarily for a paycheck) is not as intrusive into their personal life as "How do you spend your free time."
@beadywoman3 жыл бұрын
Asking someone if their husband is the father of their children is, in my opinion, one of the rudest questions I could possibly think of having someone ask!
@tiryaclearsong4213 жыл бұрын
Also, for parents of multiple children, commenting that the child that looks the most different from the others must be the mailman's kid.
@nelliebly66163 жыл бұрын
I Would love to have a husband.... but have never had....but have gotten five children....after being infertil ,for many years....so Im happy😁 So When people ask if I have a husband I answer : “ No I Can easily take Care of myself...and the kids “.....🤣
@augiemusky3 жыл бұрын
@@tiryaclearsong421 yeah, not funny.
@AlexaMorales3 жыл бұрын
I agree! Never forgot the moment when I was with my 2 young children, one blond hair, one brown hair, and a woman asked "Same father?"
@chanieweiss42883 жыл бұрын
My sister's husband is dark & we're light. They have 1 fair skinned gorgeous kiddo & 1 dark gorgeous kiddo.
@Denise11Schultz3 жыл бұрын
My rudest question was a brief statement, and it was poignant and very well-meaning, from someone who really cared. I was about 20, and telling a close older friend (50ish with 3 grown children) something about my family. My friend said, “You never even really had a mother.” My mother was mentally ill. When my friend said that, I was stunned. All I could think was how hard my mom tried to be a good mother, a good parent, how horrible the medications were, and the side effects, how little understanding she had in the community, and her family, and in her marriage, and how she still tried her absolute best to love me and raise me, and have a life, against such awful odds. Thanks, Mom. I think all your caring helped me to handle that sad moment, even if you just couldn’t keep up with life. So in a funny way, that rude statement highlighted everything I admired and loved about my mom.
@bilgegnome93083 жыл бұрын
A rude question I'm often asked: What's with the scars on your arm/leg/face/back etc? I just laugh and tell them "Carving a turkey is harder than it looks!" Might sound snarky, but WAY better than the real answer.
@crystalbluewire33393 жыл бұрын
Bilge Gnome good one. Leg scar here ( Compound fracture of femur). . . " I got jawed by a great white in a surfing competition". I did used to surf in Cali but that isn't how the scar came about. Thanks for the laugh.
@lostgurl13793 жыл бұрын
Trophy wounds. Combat metals. Souvenirs. Etc
@eileeneclark90113 жыл бұрын
6/16/21.....Somebody asked about my walking GINGERLY after I had taken a bad fall a few days before ..... I smiled & answered AMAZING SEX ORGY LAST NIGHT..... They left me alone after that!
@caycic13 жыл бұрын
my scars are all from cancer and everything associated with it. There is no shame in pain.
@Katt19893 жыл бұрын
"Carving a turkey" 🦃🤣 Gnome, LOVE your response - I'll file that one away for future use! My go-to has always been just one word, tossed off blithely: "shrapnel". It always elicits a laugh and we move on. 🙄
@justynafletcher8413 жыл бұрын
I think one of the biggest take aways I have is to not be offended by people asking innocent questions. I personally don't think most of these questions are rude. I've had people ask me these and I simply respond firmly and confidentiality. "I am a wife and mother." No apologies, no hesitation. I've never had anyone dare try and talk down my answer when I make it clear that I'm not afraid of the question. Confidence is key. 😁
@victoriaoliver99583 жыл бұрын
Good point!
@daftladybird3 жыл бұрын
That's awesome! I had someone suggesting jobs to me, even though he knew I was a homeschooling mother. I finally said, "I have a job already!". That felt good. 🙂
@InHisSservice3 жыл бұрын
APPLAUSE!!!!
@bonniel43253 жыл бұрын
They are intrusive questions. Good for you, not getting offended, and for your confident response.
@mjzmoscowitz67003 жыл бұрын
Totally agreed. you nailed it. Confidence and straight forward communication.
@luckaty3 жыл бұрын
People would comment when they saw me out with our four children saying “wow, your hands sure are full!” I’d always respond, “yes, and so is my happy heart!”
@augiemusky3 жыл бұрын
Me too!
@augiemusky3 жыл бұрын
I also liked to let them know what a joy it was to spend my days with these awesome humans that represent the next generation we will depend upon!
@Fidi9873 жыл бұрын
"So sorry that your hands are empty right now!"
@staceykersting7053 жыл бұрын
Oh, gag ! What a sappy answer to an empathetic comment.
@augiemusky3 жыл бұрын
@@staceykersting705 Is it an empathetic comment to presume one's children are a "handful" ( ie. burdensome?)
@mari_hungry3 жыл бұрын
When people ask me what I do for a living I tell them I’m a Domestic Engineer 😆 I keep little humans alive!
@jennifergersch91263 жыл бұрын
House Manager. Director of Operations.
@ashleyanastasia77793 жыл бұрын
I like this.
@ashleyanastasia77793 жыл бұрын
I have always taken the attitude that it is a profession/career if you treat it like one, regardless of how others treat you in that position. This applies to Home Management as well.
@darleneaki5663 жыл бұрын
The “when are you going to have children” question has always bothered me. Not a lot of people know that due to medical reasons I have never been able to conceive. Learning that when my husband and I began trying to get pregnant was very devastating for me. Each time someone would ask me that question, it just broke my heart all over again.
@maryokeefe53513 жыл бұрын
So sorry to hear this.
@Red_19763 жыл бұрын
That’s really sad. Sorry to hear that. People can be so mean without even realising it sometimes.. it’s such an intrusive question but people tend to use it so commonly.
@spaced12983 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry. I think I would teach a lesson by honestly answering, “I cannot have children, and it breaks my heart to talk about it” Perhaps they will think before asking someone else that question.
@sarahmcvaugh73483 жыл бұрын
There are times when people say things that can be considered rude. It's important, however, to differentiate between those who are trying to insult and those who may not have polished social skills. Additionally, I think it's important to remember that people may come from another culture so what is acceptable to ask in their culture is not acceptable in ours. Our response needs to vary depending on the situation. If a person is rude, we need to call them on it and set a boundary. In the other situations, I think we need to be careful not to be overly sensitive or think we are superior. We need to be kind, be compassionate, accept people and just answer their question graciously. Otherwise, people who may be technically right in their response, hurt the other person and make them feel bad and inferior. Good manners are not just a set of rules but are about loving other people even when they don't follow them. The Queen of England is famous for putting people at ease when they have made etiquette errors in her presence, going so far as to make the same error so they would not feel embarrassed. This is what good manners are about.
@victoriaoliver99583 жыл бұрын
Yes! I totally agree. Well said.
@annaalm183 жыл бұрын
Yes, many people, me included, just didn't know that a certain question is rude. The "children question" always made me feel very uncomfortable, having to explain why I don't have children. But actually I did not consider the question being rude nor I judged the people (they were many) having asked. I think your comment is a beautiful addition to the video and it deserves receiving a little heart like all the other positive comments!!!
@1marianne3 жыл бұрын
Very true! Good manners means putting others at ease.
@barbarakornacki85993 жыл бұрын
That is good to remember. I have always been more introverted and quiet but know I have asked some of these intrusive questions myself as a younger person due to immaturity and a lack of some social skills. As I matured I learned a lot by watching and listening to other people who I admired and by looking at my behaviors honestly. Some people don't know they are being rude and it's ok to let them know by setting a boundary in a kind but firm way. I love what you said about the Queen and will remember it.
@tamivega62253 жыл бұрын
The Queen deliberately making an error for any reason? Don't think so! Probably her go-to reaction: act as though you didn't notice it.
@almaburns65623 жыл бұрын
"Why, does it bother you?" is a great answer to questions like "Why are you so quiet?" Then they have to defend their unwelcome question.
@HenriettaP3 жыл бұрын
Wish I’d thought of that when I was younger! I’m better at talking now. Now my problem is getting a word in edgewise while people talk at me…
@jennifergersch91263 жыл бұрын
A great response for most of these.
@vickieva29273 жыл бұрын
I honestly didn't know that asking " What type of work do you do?" was rude. I thought it was an ice breaker but I can understand why some would think it rude. I just really enjoy hearing about others lives, now I know to be more thoughtful.
@tomdixon12133 жыл бұрын
I think you are a unique human being for having the graciousness to own up to your lack of understanding. This is so rare to have the courage to admit this. You are probably very happy in your work and did not realize that 70percent of the working population is unhappy in their work.
@crystalbluewire33393 жыл бұрын
It is rude to ask that. What do you DOOO. . . ?Instant shutdown for me. That question out of the gate is rude and offensive because it seeks to define and narrow down the person being asked by status or definition of what they are, not who they are.
@shannonpollmann78633 жыл бұрын
@@bathemeinchampagne That has not been my intention for asking anyone “what do you do for a living”. After reading comments here does cause me to consider choosing my words differently for sure. It seems to me that it can also be the responder possibly being on the defense. I work in a school cafeteria - I am quite happy with what I do and if someone else judges me for that 🤷🏻♀️, not my issue. Take me as I am because I am not changing my job of choice to please others. I do however have a desire to be conscientious of my communication with others and find kind responses and even an explanation about how questions like this can come across rude, which can possibility bring/give understanding. But then again, some simply do not care and are rude. Everyone’s background is different for a multitude of reasons and unfortunately so many hurt individuals on many levels. I Personally desire to learn about others and want to be uplifting & positive as well as encouraging but also learn about and from others.
@just4music6873 жыл бұрын
Yes, It's upsetting for me b/c I'm on disability and it's not something someone would know by looking at me, so it's really embarrassing. xoxo
@peggydid3 жыл бұрын
@@crystalbluewire3339 When I'm asked that, I say, "Everything!"
@jenniferrumsey98873 жыл бұрын
I asked a state senator what projects he was excited about. He told me that noone had ever asked him what he is excited about - ever. He proceeded to tell me about his grandchildren, his boat, legislative issues, etc. and thanked me after the meal for such a nice conversation. People forget that our elected officials are constantly bombarded with the needs and wants of their constituents and sometimes they just need a nice relaxing lunch.
@TheDailyConnoisseur3 жыл бұрын
Love that!
@halcyondays89453 жыл бұрын
That’s a wonderful conversational tip! I don’t know any senators but I think I can probably use that tip for most social conversations. Thank you!
@vegasgirl35383 жыл бұрын
@@halcyondays8945 I remember chatting with a co-worker's new girlfriend at an event and she asked "What do you like to do when you're not working.?" I thought that was a nice way to start a dialogue. Most people have a hobby or interest they enjoy talking about, and since it's an open-ended question it doesn't force the recipient to reveal any more than they want to.
@maryokeefe53513 жыл бұрын
That is so true. I once worked in politics and you get a lot of angry demands and not that much human kindness.
@jennifergersch91263 жыл бұрын
So great. Thank you for sharing.
@carolynmaves5033 жыл бұрын
One of the down sides of watching you tube videos are the rude comments. It hurts my heart sometimes reading the comments. On the lighter side, years ago I found a humorous birthday card. On the front it said, I know it is rude to ask people how old they are. Then on the inside it said, Happy birthday, how much do you weigh? Jennifer, thanks for another lovely video.
@anng.r.6873 жыл бұрын
Card......ha ha!
@catharineinniss99063 жыл бұрын
Hahaha that made me laugh out loud. Thanks
@deborahdiaz62513 жыл бұрын
Hahaha so funny
@boholilo77403 жыл бұрын
Lol
@crystalbluewire33393 жыл бұрын
My next door neighbors kid ( he is 8 ) asked me how old I was out of the blue. I told him that it was rude to ask a woman how old she was. I did not ask him " How old do you think I am". He just volunteered " I think you are between 70 and 100 " . I asked him how could come to such a number, number and he said " Because you have wrinkles". I am 62, 5' 9" weight 145. I take good care of my skin and don't have " Wrinkles". Yes I look my age, everyone does. They really do.
@lindafusek37942 жыл бұрын
When our son was young, someone suggested that I wasn’t contributing to the household because I wasn’t working. She then went on to tell me how she worked, paid for the babysitter herself, cooked, cleaned, ironed his shirts, paid for her half of the mortgage and bills. I asked her how she made such a bad deal; she never mentioned it again.
@darkhorse74607 ай бұрын
Lol, love it!
@carlalambousy8243 жыл бұрын
When a person is asked their due date, a sharp response might be “Looks like we’re each due at the same time.”
@omidee29263 жыл бұрын
Lol, good one Carla😁
@carlalambousy8243 жыл бұрын
@@omidee2926, yes! Here in south Louisiana, Cajuns speak this way all the time. Depending on each person’s personalities, it can be lightened with a smile and a wink, or said with continued direct eye-contact followed with silence for an “eye-for-an-eye” effect.
@augiemusky3 жыл бұрын
Hahahahaha 😂
@dorisstouder20293 жыл бұрын
This would be good for people who comment on your weight, as well, I guess 🤔 Be rude back?
@carlalambousy8243 жыл бұрын
@@dorisstouder2029, you are correct. Mostly, a wink and a smile go a long way toward showing personal self-esteem, and showing assertiveness as well. The real winner is the person working on getting healthier. No one can hurt a person’s feelings without that person’s permission. Another humorous Cajun response is a smiling “Thank you for pointing that out. I’m sure you feel much better.” Follow that up with a blank face. If the other person persists with a retort, it would be wise to respond by telling them “No one knows that better than “me”, and I am working on that goal.”
@dawnbarnes87293 жыл бұрын
As to how to respond, you mentioned being classy and elegant in your response to rude questions. I wanted to add that along with that you need to show grace, because after all, most of the time the person isn’t asking to be rude on purpose. None of us is perfect, and I’m sure I have been guilty of asking a rude question, or two. Being kind in your response always pays off. ❤️😊
@victoriaoliver99583 жыл бұрын
Well said. If I sincerely asked an ignorant question and got a clipped answer, I would feel horrified and probably not pursue that person since the vibe I'd feel would be one of rejection.
@toniwadsworth75773 жыл бұрын
I agree! Sometimes mild push back against offensive remarks can have an instant effect.
@j.b.c.53963 жыл бұрын
I agree. Its funny (and painful) to read all these questions. But in the end we just need to be kind to one another.
@themamabearlife33393 жыл бұрын
Absolutely agree! Assume the best in people and treat them w/kindness in your answer.
@Red_19763 жыл бұрын
Sometimes no words are needed; a hard stare does the trick or just leave. I don’t waste my breath on rude people. It’s up to them to get educated, not up to me to educate them - especially adults!
@annettepellowe98473 жыл бұрын
When I had a new baby and stopped working to be a stay at home mom I was asked, “ What in the world do you do all day?” And told, “ I’d go crazy staying home all day!” 🙄
@bananaanna13733 жыл бұрын
The really bad thing about answering that question is because the reply can sound judging and confrontational. “Obviously I have a better imagination than you because I’m busy all day”, “I cook quality meals for my family that you obviously don’t do”, “I take care of my home in a superior way that obviously you don’t do”, “I take care of my own child instead of paying someone else to do it”. During the times that I didn’t work everything was better. Cleaner house, better meals, better health and weight, better sex, better off-time and fun time in general, better spiritual place in my Christianity, better friendships, better family member to my parents, siblings, etc. Everything was better and actually made us less frustrated with having less money. But circumstances change. Worked 40+ hours weekly in a salon for years. Now I’m a full-time student in a rigorous program. Very different season of life.
@candacelove58383 жыл бұрын
I got that question when I retired My answer Nothing !
@anklesockson81343 жыл бұрын
I was a stay at home Mum till my daughter went to school, I had these remarks (usually off total strangers or health visitors) and was told how it was not good for me to stay at home and I needed to get out and do work for myself. Because bringing up your own child is not doing something for yourself unlike working for the big companies or what not. I did go back to work last year in Winter only to be told I had to stay home and look after the NHS, I mean make your mind up world.
@jacklyncarroll73673 жыл бұрын
It’s amazing how many people say this to moms! Definitely my least favorite question to get and feels very condescending, like it isn’t enough and it isn’t noteworthy or fulfilling in any way. It’s my dream job!
@squishysquid95053 жыл бұрын
@@jacklyncarroll7367 same, it’s my dream job also. 🙌
@Inkabazot3 жыл бұрын
Person: "When are you due?" Me: "It's a food baby."
@Fidi9873 жыл бұрын
It's a huge tumor, I'm still waiting for the OP!" will probably silence them forever.
@enatp64483 жыл бұрын
Like that 🤣
@Natashahoneypot3 жыл бұрын
@@Fidi987 I would be worried about tempting fate!
@michelleg.81903 жыл бұрын
This happened to me and I was so sad. I knew I was overweight and my belly was looking like I was 6 moths pregnant. I mean I look at myself in the mirror I know I am overweight and what I look like why would someone even ask me How my pregnancy is going when I am not pregnant. I felt shame and guilt it was so embarrassing that it happened in front of my mother in law who is constantly giving me diet tips. Anyway its not nice. My reaction was i stood there with a blank stare and said ...I am not pregnant...and i looked horrified I am sure. Her response was she smiled and said oh no I. Yeah that was her response not an I am sorry or try to make it better no just an awful look on her face not knowing how to respond.
@chaliceguard45753 жыл бұрын
"Food baby" ....priceless! ROFL!
@MarigoldSundays3 жыл бұрын
What’s great about setting boundaries is that it helps you discern who’s capable of respecting you and who isn’t. A person who apologizes and moves on is capable. A person who gets defensive, argues, demands an answer they’re not entitled to, or punishes you by gossiping about you to others is not mature enough to respect you.
@er67303 жыл бұрын
So true. Even if that person is less private and doesn't understand how the question is rude, if she just thinks "oh, that's this person's quirk and so I won't talk about this topic, that's okay." she's going to be good friend material.
@littlelamb68042 жыл бұрын
....and could be a narcissist!
@delightfullydotty71303 жыл бұрын
I always thought that etiquette was snobby and all about cutlery but it turns out that it’s the opposite of snobby! This is so helpful for people who aren’t very confident and want to learn social skills x
@maryokeefe53513 жыл бұрын
Of course the best teacher is your mother. If we are taught good manners as children, we don't need courses or books.
@maeb77233 жыл бұрын
Ditto, Penny!
@catharineinniss99063 жыл бұрын
It's bad manners to make people feel uncomfortable with etiquette 😌
@kaylalatham68823 жыл бұрын
A child once asked me who my favourite Disney princess is and I was soo excited somebody asked me that lol I much prefer the kind of conversations children have. They don’t talk about work lol
@TheDailyConnoisseur3 жыл бұрын
Maybe I'll start asking people that question, haha!
@nyceexo533 жыл бұрын
So, what was your answer? 😉 LOL mine is Belle! Love that independent energy, not impressed with society’s “dream guy”.
@lynnebattaglia-triggs10423 жыл бұрын
Unless you gag on Disney princesses🥴
@i.m.77103 жыл бұрын
She wanted you to ask her what her favorite Disney princess is! 🤩🤩🤩
@dianedeferrari38883 жыл бұрын
A kid once asked me what grade I was in. So refreshing! I was in my 40's.
@SarahAnew3 жыл бұрын
One rude question i get asked a lot is, “What’s for dinner?”
@elizabethbednarcik33113 жыл бұрын
Ha, I do hate that question because I feel like it's pressuring me to have a plan.
@rocking13133 жыл бұрын
so much pressure?
@janetaylor49463 жыл бұрын
My Mother used to say “nightingale breast on toast.” A dear friend just reminded me last week; she now uses that too!
@Meagan06243 жыл бұрын
Lol!
@katburns57733 жыл бұрын
I don't find this rude from my husband or our children because I plant things out, but I certainly find it rude when my grandmother, who's not eating whatever I'm making anyway
@mrshadenoughofallthis9113 жыл бұрын
The ‘When is the baby due?’ question has happened to me so many times. My answer is a smile and ‘14 years ago’.
@rachelarmel75473 жыл бұрын
Omg.. that's hilarious and so clever. Great answer!
@mrshadenoughofallthis9113 жыл бұрын
@@rachelarmel7547 Thanks!
@nancyschaecher25483 жыл бұрын
This is helpful to me, I’m embarrassed to admit. I’ve asked questions about job, country of origin, etc. Thank you for this vid. I’m going to watch it several times to truly learn from it. I’m in my 70’s and so sorry if I’ve offended others.
@TheDailyConnoisseur3 жыл бұрын
I love your humble response and that you were not defensive here ♥️
@bella41353 жыл бұрын
Don't feel bad--I have asked people about their work as well. I had no idea it was rude or offensive and feel bad now! I was just trying to be nice--I always find it interesting how diverse our jobs can be.
@GUCC11973 жыл бұрын
Don’t feel embarrassed some people actually like other people showing an interest in them instead of me me I I.
@Michelle-zz7no3 жыл бұрын
Awesome!!! My parents are 78 and 88. I’m very aware of how things were different for them. They’ve made some changes but it’s hard! I do know that they always mean well but I did have to tell them to quit commenting on my children’s weight!!!! Not appropriate at all. They did that to me growing up and it’s NOT helpful or appreciated!!
@h.calvert31653 жыл бұрын
It sounds to me like you're a person with a lively mind who takes a sincere interest in others. . .NOT someone who is rude & thoughtless! Let's face it, not everyone is a fluent conversationalist, so unless you want to babble on & on meaninglessly about random topics --- or worse, about yourself! --- you sometimes have to be a bit of an interviewer! 😉
@lindahenderson16253 жыл бұрын
When asked when I was having children, I smiled and asked, “Why do you need to know?” That answer works for other rude questions as well.
@marilynglassman62643 жыл бұрын
San Marcos high school graduation
@abowling57593 жыл бұрын
Yeah, are they writing a book?
@jacquelynplace44363 жыл бұрын
I'd say there are already so many, I think spay or adopt is earths' best option. That'll silence them.
@yesiownfrodo3 жыл бұрын
When someone asks me, "What are you?" I always say with a wink and a whisper, "I'm human!"
@julief6343 жыл бұрын
That's usually my reply when filling out forms at the doctors office in reference to race/nationality. Ugh
@gossipandgrigio72003 жыл бұрын
Same
@sarahd17063 жыл бұрын
Another rude question is "What are you doing (date/time)?" Rather than just directly asking something like, "Would you like to (activity/request) on (date/time)?" The 1st rudely pins the person down to feel like they have to explain & divulge their personal plans, & then can't say no if the inviter wouldn't think their plans are a good enough excuse to turn down the invitation/request.
@SallyAnn1913 жыл бұрын
I have 'why are you so skinny?' My daughter has even been asked in front of me, 'Why is your mum so skinny?' No one would ever ask 'why are you so fat?'. I wonder why they think it's OK the other way around?
@bananaanna13733 жыл бұрын
Uh....yes, you can be asked why you’re so fat? I have been twice!
@SallyAnn1913 жыл бұрын
@@bananaanna1373 Oh dear. Sorry to hear that. Why are people so rude?
@jennifermason18483 жыл бұрын
My sister was asked this all the time until about age 30. It made her so mad bc no, you wouldn’t ask someone why they are so fat. A teacher in middle school questioned her friend to see if she were anorexic. That may have been a legitimate concern back in the 80s/90s, but it infuriated my sister. She is built like the women on my father’s side, and they were long legged and thin.
@anitas58173 жыл бұрын
@acha herb yes!!! There’s no good way to comment on some’s weight.
@WiseWomanLola3 жыл бұрын
Yes, people do ask and make rude comments about being overweight, and underweight, and other physical appearances. No one is immune from rudeness.
@lisalowrey22303 жыл бұрын
When my husband and I lived on sailboat in Marin County (one of the wealthiest counties in the U.S.), we went to a bbq thrown by my co-worker. Her brother found out we had a boat and we were having a lovely conversation until he asked where we lived. He stopped speaking to us for the rest of night once he found out we actually lived on a boat and were not wealthy yachtsman like himself. We laugh about it now, but at the time, we were shocked by the blatant snobbery of the whole situation.
@paulawashington31753 жыл бұрын
It's the brother's loss.
@michelepascoe60683 жыл бұрын
"So what do you do?" and responding, "Oh" then silence when you tell them. I was a mother at home, homeschooling some of the time and involved in children's activities and my husband always valued my homemaking, but my mother regarded me with contempt for "not having a proper job" and for doing housework and teaching our children to run a home, cook, babycare, etc as she considered housework beneath her. She gave me a poem called Dust if you Must, and told me that all I'll have achieved by the end of my life is a clean house. But we had fun with our children and don't regret having lived on one salary all those years. I thank God for my husband's support and he is thankful for mine.
@BASK11202 жыл бұрын
Love it! You did a fantastic job at what you both value, great job!!!
@michelepascoe60682 жыл бұрын
@@BASK1120 Thanks!
@mayberelevant32373 жыл бұрын
I’m showing my age , but does anyone else remember “snappy answers to stupid questions “ in Mad magazine? I used to love it !!
@gloriamontgomery69003 жыл бұрын
I remember it!
@kimmyball49613 жыл бұрын
I used to get Mad but don't remember that specific part!! I remember folding the last page in half and it formed crazy things!! Used to love it!!!!
@sanfranciscodamn3 жыл бұрын
I weened on Mad Magazine
@wms723 жыл бұрын
Yes, back in the good old days.
@Catlady777773 жыл бұрын
Yes! Thank God I'm not the only one!
@KatieTillmanTeaches3 жыл бұрын
As a single person I constantly get asked “why don’t you have a boyfriend” and when I do they constantly ask “when are y’all getting married” 🙄 can’t I just be single and enjoy my life?
@anadelwrites21443 жыл бұрын
Me too, you’re not alone!
@gionagrace62793 жыл бұрын
Katie......here is the perfect reply to that. Marriage is an institution and I'm much too young & way too wonderful to be in an institution. Sit back & watch their SHOCKED response! They will choke..guaranteed & look like a fool to boot!! LOL
@maryokeefe53513 жыл бұрын
Followed by, you must be too picky. Often from a relative stranger.
@Human_folly3 жыл бұрын
We could start a club. 😉
@KatieTillmanTeaches3 жыл бұрын
@@maryokeefe5351 yes apparently standards is the same thing as picky
@shelby39873 жыл бұрын
Questions about having children. Never realized how rude it was until we started going through infertility.
@jennymc78213 жыл бұрын
Amen.
@TarTelperienNumenor3 жыл бұрын
Same situation here! 👋If people ask if we have kids I just respond "Not yet" and they usually drop the subject. Also, even if a couple has one child it doesn't mean they aren't experiencing secondary infertility, so no need to ask people if they're going to give their child a sibling.
@silvergirl28473 жыл бұрын
Definitely.
@fxjrulpzxi3 жыл бұрын
Oof same. Although I’m open about my struggles with others and personally don’t get offended by the question. But looking back I’ve made a fool of myself a few times.
@Amber-us9sl3 жыл бұрын
Yes, I often got questions about when I was giving my son a sibling. I used to shy away from answering. And then I eventually started answering with “it was a long hard road to have him and we are grateful for him”. That usually got the point across. It is such a deeply personal question and can be so hurtful. I’m sorry if you have experienced that hurt too.
@dawnhendrickson8853 жыл бұрын
One response I’ve learned over the years when I’ve been asked something I feel is too personal to answer or just not appropriate is to reply back with, “ Why do you ask?” That always works without any rudeness.
@lindagbukvic94413 жыл бұрын
Speaking of rude. This wasn't addressed here, but maybe it was in another video. *When you are pregnant, why do people feel they have the right to touch your belly?
@crystalbluewire33393 жыл бұрын
I have never done that to a stranger but maybe it's because people want to be close to the most beautiful thing in the world and show you your baby hello in there.
@wms723 жыл бұрын
Don't let strangers touch you or your children. You don't know if they are devil worshippers these days.
@uhltx3 жыл бұрын
Touching pregnant woman belly is common in my culture... it felt weird doing in the US once.... never again.
@Catlady777773 жыл бұрын
Beware. Might be demons trying to steal little one!
@littlelamb68042 жыл бұрын
Not common here. "Get away from me" culture we live in now.
@holleyjay11223 жыл бұрын
“Are you going to try again for a girl?” In front of my boys. First off, I’m perfectly happy as a boy mom. Second, how dare someone suggest that my two boys aren’t perfectly good enough. I usually just say, “I have two wonderful children, and I’m happy with that.”
@maryokeefe53513 жыл бұрын
When I gave birth to my son, a close friend who had a daughter asked me if I was disappointed?
@jenniferborchardt3 жыл бұрын
Ha! I have five boys and they STILL ask that.
@hmeyer8273 жыл бұрын
I'm the mother of 3 boys, and I've heard the same thing. Blech.
@lynnebattaglia-triggs10423 жыл бұрын
Thank you for not over populating our earth! Good for you. ZPG
@crystalbluewire33393 жыл бұрын
REALLY ? That's bad.
@italianmermaid63063 жыл бұрын
Years ago while waiting in line at a pharmacy, a woman looked at my son and said, “He’s cute, what is he?” I responded, “He’s a boy.” Some people in line applauded. Sarcasm rules.
@Catlady777773 жыл бұрын
Good grief!
@alycewich44723 жыл бұрын
@Italian mermaid - Too funny!
@jelenad63673 жыл бұрын
I'm little confused, I didn't understand it. What did they mean "what" is he?
@italianmermaid63063 жыл бұрын
@@jelenad6367 she was inquiring about his nationality. Italian boys get very dark in the summer at the NJ shore. I supposed I could’ve explained that part. Sorry about that.
@robynross2553 жыл бұрын
As a child I remember my mother being asked, "How old are you?" by a virtual stranger. She did reply, adding 10 years to her age, at which the woman replied, "You look so young for your age!" I asked Mum why she had answered that way and she told me that it was extremely rude to ask a woman her age,especially a stranger. I learnt early about questions that shouldn't be asked.
@maryamba9153 жыл бұрын
😂 I'm going to remember this one! Great response.
@sandrawoodmansee59693 жыл бұрын
My mother did the same thing. I am not as brave.
@mysticfox15633 жыл бұрын
I had a woman insist that I couldn’t know something because of my age. I told her I’m pushing 40 and a historian so I was qualified to know whatever I wanted.
@lindafusek37942 жыл бұрын
I copy a phrase from the movie Mame, “somewhere between 30 …and death”.
@barbarakelly1916 Жыл бұрын
@@lindafusek3794 Good response...lets the questioner know that you don't want to answer, with a little humor. I am going to use "Old enough to get the Senior's Discount" ( I am in my 80's, and dislike ageist behaviors).
@joycedominguez18283 жыл бұрын
I just straight up tell them " I can't believe you asked me that". I've had alot of people ask me how much money I get? And that's when I straight up say " I can't believe you asked me that.
@amourtoujours7793 жыл бұрын
The interesting thing about introverts is that we have bursts of energy with people we are more comfortable with which makes people, assume we are "fake" Nope just uncomfortable(with you). Took me all my life thus far to get to this point of understanding and not blame myself so much anymore.
@TheDailyConnoisseur3 жыл бұрын
So true!
@SpecialgiftsLA3 жыл бұрын
Good point. We know who accepts us and that safety allows us to open and be ourselves..introverts can be bubbly funny and chatty just in different settings.
@amourtoujours7793 жыл бұрын
@@SpecialgiftsLA In case you are a woman, have you found that the same applies to your femininity. For example, if a man makes you feel comfortable, you naturally become "more feminine", ie: higher-pitched voice, softer movements etc? I ask because that happens to me. Especially if he has an accent. :)
@SpecialgiftsLA3 жыл бұрын
@@amourtoujours779 Yes..Maybe the right people allow us to express our whole selves..the best in us. Femininity..yes..personally for me.It blossoms when you I feel safe and comfortable. And had become dimmed hidden if not. It is a great sign to listen to.
@steffa6483 жыл бұрын
Wow so interesting and enlightening!!
@AmirahJoy3 жыл бұрын
The rudest (and frankly strangest??) question I have been asked is "Do you ever hear from your ex-husband?" I find this particularly odd because I have been divorced for 30 years. I have been happily remarried for 24 years. Why would I be in contact with my ex-husband?? I have learned to respond to this and other rude questions with a statement that begins with "I've discovered..." So now I respond to the ex-spouse question with "I've discovered over the years that people rarely wish to discuss their ex-spouses. I think it has to do with respecting one another's privacy. Do you agree?" That shuts it down quickly and gives a low-key etiquette lesson to the questioner.
@nodramamomma27773 жыл бұрын
Same. Dude, there's a reason they are an X.
@mrstn1233 жыл бұрын
I love this!!
@buckywill93223 жыл бұрын
I had a friend who would respond to the “When are you having children” question with “ It isn’t that we don’t like children, we just eat them for breakfast”. It is so comical to see the reactions. She did end up having two and didn’t eat them!
@sunlight41693 жыл бұрын
I was attending physical therapy for my back pain, and from time to time engaged in conversation with a woman during the weeks I was going to PT (as our sessions were overlapping, so we found ourselves on the exercise bikes together, etc.). We chatted only a little but then she asks "Do you have kids?" Well, not a terribly rude question compared to some other questions, and actually it is a common question to hear, but really it would be better if those questions were not asked. Many people love to talk about their children and usually soon enough they do but it is better to wait for that opportunity for the parent to bring up their kids rather than ask "Do you have kids?" You never know if the person you are asking is grieving from a lost child, infertility, a miscarriage, a broken marriage, etc.
@barbaraparkinson7033 жыл бұрын
I have gotten the comment, "Why are you so quiet?" so many times throughout my life! And I hate it! I even remember people saying that to me when I was a child. I have felt many times that our society values loud, talkative people more.
@barbarakornacki85993 жыл бұрын
Same here. On occasion I have said "It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for"
@hmeyer8273 жыл бұрын
I'm quiet too, and the hardest experience for me was when I met my future mother-in-law. I saw her once a month or so during those early dating days, and she would tell me every time to "just be yourself - we want to get to know you!" Well, "myself" was quiet, but apparently a quiet self isn't an acceptable self or isn't a "self" at all? I was 18 years old when I met her, and after 4 or 5 of these encounters I started feeling really paranoid around her and like I wasn't OK as a person.
@abowling57593 жыл бұрын
Or that you don’t have the right to be different, and they assume you owe them an explanation.
@abowling57593 жыл бұрын
@@hmeyer827 people who say this act like you’re withholding something they have a right to, when it is a privilege for you to speak to them. Feeling paranoid is a normal response to this situation where someone is trying to pressure you to talk more than you want to. Kind of like being at a police interrogation.
@tori99513 жыл бұрын
So many questions people ask these days are meant to get to know people better, ugh... it can be so hard cause you don’t want to shut down well intentioned people. Going back to work after Covid I feel like their will be so many negative conversations and complaining in the office, so I’ve decided to ask people “so what’s been a bright spot in your life?” People often want to talk about their grandkids, their achievements and their passion projects (music, traveling, creative endeavors)
@chelseakochevar13553 жыл бұрын
I love this, and may steal it. Thank you!
@victoriaoliver99583 жыл бұрын
Such a great question!
@maryokeefe53513 жыл бұрын
Excellent and constructive idea.
@the6carrazanas7773 жыл бұрын
When I had four young kids of my own and took in my brother's two young children after he passed, I was often asked IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN many rude questions. I developed some standard responses. To "Wow, your hands are full" I responded, "Actually it is my heart that is full--I LOVE these kjds!" To "Don't you know what causes that?" I would respond, "Yes! We have such awesome kids, we are happy to have more awesome kids!" I would always follow it by smiling at my children. Not only was it a good lesson for the asker, but made my children feel wanted, instead of a burden.
@fathimamohideen19172 жыл бұрын
Dont you know what causes that? Yeah, of course and its awesome.
@robbiepenney53443 жыл бұрын
I never thought asking about their line of work could be rude. I’ve asked this question since I was a kid. It’s always intrigued me about the wide variety of making a living.
@annettetesta88163 жыл бұрын
With so many people unemployed, it can provoke anxiety. Best to wait for people to bring it into the conversation than to blunder into something about which you may regret having asked.
@darkhorse74607 ай бұрын
It can also imply you're trying to assess their value by their occupation, if you have patience people naturally bring it up when they're ready ;).
@karennoske30083 жыл бұрын
When I was a young mother of 3, I was in the mall, walking with my two toddlers and pushing my baby son in a stroller. A complete stranger said "JEEZE, have enough kids?" I smiled and said, "In fact, I left the 3 older kids at home." I tend towards the sassy answer, as you can tell.
@sabine37693 жыл бұрын
Very funny
@luba-healthywithluba68663 жыл бұрын
Karen, you are hilarious! 🌹
@christiejean26533 жыл бұрын
You are my hero!!!
@bladynebula3463 жыл бұрын
Your my kind of girl. I’m working on being less petty back to people. It’s hard though.... 🙄
@maryokeefe53513 жыл бұрын
Jeez, have any manners?
@PerfumeswithPat3 жыл бұрын
I think that if people spend more time on their own business and not the business of others they will be more content with their life. Contentment brings peace. This would make us all better.
@themamabearlife33393 жыл бұрын
Then there would be no KZbin, lol! Most of it is people watching other peoples lives...
@paulawashington31753 жыл бұрын
There have been times when I have had to answer, "You must assume my business is more interesting than your own."
@lindawarren1713 жыл бұрын
An old gentleman once said that I was "blooming" and when was I due? I was 56 at the time, and so I replied I'm not pregnant but I will take that as a compliment that you thought I was still young enough to be childbearing age! I did myself ask someone when they were due 25 years ago, when they weren't pregnant and never ever made the same mistake again!
@IMOO18963 жыл бұрын
“That’s an interesting question, I’ll give it some thought”
@lindaodom13223 жыл бұрын
My favorite answer to rude or intrusive questions is to smile and say, "Why do you ask?" The smile doesn't have to be in your eyes! Lol
@mamabear0903 жыл бұрын
A sassy response to “don’t you have a TV?” I’ve heard is “If you think TV is more interesting, you’re it doing wrong.” 🤭
@averykempf91643 жыл бұрын
Love this!
@gailremp83893 жыл бұрын
Oh yes the old why don't you have a TV question. I get that all the time also. And I say I don't need a TV. I can get all the good and bad news I want on my iPad. And I laugh. That's kind of my way of telling them to cool it.
@joantomlin72813 жыл бұрын
RE: "why are you so quiet?" It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Said with a wink and a smile, of course
@Narbyful Жыл бұрын
My dad taught me that.☺ It's perfect.
@suzih.66873 жыл бұрын
"How much did you pay for that?" was a question I had a hard time dealing with when I had new in-laws. My parents raised me to never ask that. I find that I tend to answer a rude question with a question of my own.
@darkhorse74607 ай бұрын
I've heard canned responses for this one like "not too much but definitely worth it," etc.
@marilyngonzalez39703 жыл бұрын
One of the rudest questions I was asked last year was after someone learned that I homeschooled our children. She asked “Do you think you’re qualified to teach your kids?”
@jessieelliott31573 жыл бұрын
Oh my.. that's really rude
@anne-marie8963 жыл бұрын
I always answered that I know my children best.
@squishysquid95053 жыл бұрын
Oh, I’ve had this one too many times to count!
@CG-mj8tk3 жыл бұрын
I've had this too. I was boiling and took quite a bit to restrain my answer.
@kaymack53043 жыл бұрын
It is so rude, and goes hand in hand with, “Areyou going to homeschool through high school?” I always say, “Well I’ve gone through college so I think I can stay at least one day ahead of my kids.”
@TarTelperienNumenor3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for calling out the "What do you do for a living?" question. I always thought this was such a lazy thing to ask someone. Asking them about their hobbies, recent trip or fun experience, even their favorite movie or book is far more interesting!
@stampwithct3 жыл бұрын
I answer questions like this with a sweet, “Why do you ask?” Works like a charm!!
@kaskocesario35303 жыл бұрын
An operator said to me, “that’s your first name?” When I said yes, she said “how could your parents do that to you!?” That was shocking. I did not really respond. I only thought but did not say, ‘who taught you to be so rude?’. Great advice to keep boundaries and say nothing or leave the awkward silence to speak for itself! Also, many times I ask, “what are some things you enjoy doing?” and many people think I’m asking ‘what do you do?’. No, I don’t ask that question, it’s rude! Thank you for these great examples!
@Catlady777773 жыл бұрын
I would ask them thei name & then ask for their supervisor.
@catherinecox89213 жыл бұрын
I am the queen of inappropriate questions so you and other etiquette experts are helping me a great deal. I think that part of my problem is that I rarely get offended by people’s questions so my gauge in identifying rudeness is off. Because I have many children, I have been asked many, many times “don’t you know what causes that?” I always respond by saying “I am truly abundantly Blessed”. At that point people talk about what a Blessing children are or they move on to a different subject. Personally, I would not be offended by that question or many of the questions you mentioned. But, I appreciate that other people are so thank you for growing my awareness.
@elinamason3 жыл бұрын
Love thIs. I so agree. I believe a big part of being classy is being forgiving and at times acting like a wet duck when it comes to peoples mistakes. I can guarantee that people who ask awkward questions will answer awkward questions without a shadow of awkwardness. That’s kind of what I do when faced with a person with broader boundaries then my comfort zone. I think they are great exercise for forgiving. Otherwise it would be a sterile world :-)
@sandrabart59243 жыл бұрын
What were rhe people referring to when they asked, “don’t you know what causes that?” ?
@themamabearlife33393 жыл бұрын
I agree, I am not offended when people ask me those questions either. I think people should be more positive and assume the best of people, and not be so easily offended. It would make life easier for them, and also the people who are around them...
@themamabearlife33393 жыл бұрын
@@sandrabart5924 They are implying that the person who continues to get pregnant must not know how babies are made. I think people are just joking around and trying to have fun with them, but some people apparently are getting offended by it.
@catherinecox89213 жыл бұрын
@@themamabearlife3339 I completely agree.
@lifetwolive3 жыл бұрын
I helped my husband run our own construction business for 30 years. I answered the phone, did the bookkeeping and also helped on the job sites. To some people I just worked at home, like I didn't have a job.
@lissetsanchez53163 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness! You are my kindred spirit, I currently work with my spouse at our Automotive Repair facility and get told many times that I am the "help". That wasn't the worse. The rudest is when women would come to the shop and actually flirt with my husband right in front of me ( I am 10 years younger). When my husband would blush and say this is my wife, the response would be "does she even know how to take care of you". Yes, ma'am I do! We have been together for 25 years. I think I've taken care of him long enough to prove.
@melaniegonzalezart85063 жыл бұрын
Amazing thank you for sharing.
@TheT743 жыл бұрын
Same
@frankieamsden79183 жыл бұрын
I looked much younger than I was when I started my first job after college. After getting fed up with being asked how old I was I started saying "genius knows no age"
@normathompson80113 жыл бұрын
I actually wouldn’t it ask about travelling. We can’t afford to travel and all our friends do and talk non stop about their trips. It makes us feel lesser than because we can’t take these vacations.
@GUCC11973 жыл бұрын
I don’t travel, I’m trying to save the planet😇
@maddyburdy99183 жыл бұрын
I agree, I immediately thought this could be an uncomfortable question to have to answer. Almost like asking what major purchases have you made recently? or are you introducing your children to the world sufficiently? or how cultured are you?
@HenriettaP3 жыл бұрын
I find listening to people talk about their travel excruciatingly boring.
@LittleKitty223 жыл бұрын
Oh gosh I used to have "friends" like that! They were a married couple, the woman was from a very rundown background but had married this millionaire. So she felt she was something better than the rest of mankind. Contrary to her, I'm actually from a wealthy background but have had everything stolen to ended up in poverty. She was constantly telling me what sort of a failure I am, that I am "just too lazy and too stupid" to make something of my life (while I was working so hard including doing nightshifts, often to the point of collapse!) and she constantly showed off with all the trips they were making while I couldn't even afford to go to my own country. I got rid of them because I don't need to be told by a prostitute that I am lesser than her!
@mrooz90653 жыл бұрын
More annoying are the loads of photos posted in social media, which are hardly revisited by the travelers. I always reply that was looking through my natural lens when asked for photos of the trips taken.
@costalclassics54233 жыл бұрын
I have a good friend that is very noisy to me and others, she terms it as curious . She wanted to know what our income is so I turned the tables on her and said " How much do you make? She became indignant and said " THAT'S PERSONAL!!!" I replied then don't you think my income is personal to me ?" She responded " I was just curious ." SMH
@sharyn573 жыл бұрын
Tell her "curiosity killed the cat." In other words, don't be so nosy.
@costalclassics54233 жыл бұрын
@@sharyn57 very good! Wish I would have thought of that at the time.
@sanfranciscodamn3 жыл бұрын
Why are you good friends with somebody crass like that?
@gossipandgrigio72003 жыл бұрын
Drop her! She is no friend
@shanreta3 жыл бұрын
To the question, 'What are you mixed with?', the obvious answer is 'Currently I am mixing with some quite rude and nosy people...'
@TheDailyConnoisseur3 жыл бұрын
I wouldn't advise saying that, but it might feel good to say it in your head, haha!
@lizziebkennedy75053 жыл бұрын
That wins for me.
@shegeek55593 жыл бұрын
@@TheDailyConnoisseur - I'm about 90% sure I'd just say it, just as sweetly as my deep-southern grandparents taught me. Or this - "I'm not sur, but I get the feeling the test tube was shaken, not stirred."
@lisamoag65483 жыл бұрын
Good one
@isabellavalencia80263 жыл бұрын
@@TheDailyConnoisseur why would you not advise to say this? I thought it was a great answer!!!!!!
@terrib46903 жыл бұрын
Thanks for these excellent replies! I’d like to add another rude thing people ask or more often say...it’s when someone tells you to “smile”. I find it so annoying. You’re enjoying yourself in a social setting and at a moment when you’re not engaged in conversation with anyone, you haven’t just heard a joke, you’re just maybe about to get a cracker and cheese and some random guy pops up with his demand for you to smile. It just makes you concerned that you have sour grapes face or something! In actuality, they’re just trying to talk to you, but it’s such an off putting, manipulative ice breaker! I’d love to hear your advice on how to respond when that happens.
@susanpeterson99473 жыл бұрын
I am slightly introverted and when I find myself surrounded by strangers, I find it helpful to listen more and speak less. I get the why are you so quiet question. My response is always to say (very calmly and quietly) that I learn more when I’m listening than when I’m talking.
@allen8iluminada3 жыл бұрын
I am Hispanic and a lot of people have asked me: Where are you from? To which I always respond with a big smile: I'm from Heaven! Hahaha! They are so perplexed!
@rebeccainspiringhope43573 жыл бұрын
Fallen angel, they knew it!
@SarahAnew3 жыл бұрын
I descended from the cosmos. 💖
@mjzmoscowitz67003 жыл бұрын
:D a friend of mine says "I'm from the uterus!!"
@lynnebattaglia-triggs10423 жыл бұрын
How mean!
@ursulareeg11713 жыл бұрын
There was a time when you were able to ask that question, esp. if you have an accent as I did years ago and I was proud to say where I was from. It often opened conversation, geographically, culturally. How times have changed, sadly.
@helenamvu3 жыл бұрын
When people ask my husband and I when we are going to have kids/how is it coming along, after two miscarriages and longing for children my response is, "It's all in God's hands" because it's the truth and so far it has been a good response
@CynthiaRaeC3 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry. That is so hard. I would often receive the comment (in a “joking” but rude way), “boy, your hands are full” when I was out and about with our three young children. This was a painful comment for me, because between our first and second children, we lost twin baby girls and then had an early miscarriage. I would politely and as cheerfully as possible reply, “Better than empty!” Helena, I pray you receive your heart’s desire of children!
@helenamvu3 жыл бұрын
@@CynthiaRaeC Thank you. And that's a great response, I'll have to remember that one (: thank you for your prayers and I'm sorry for your losses 💙
@omidee29263 жыл бұрын
Helena, your response shows what a kind heart you have💕
@pinschrunner3 жыл бұрын
My male friend who was a model, when asked what he does for a living, used to answer, "Im in marketing." If further inquiries...he would say, "Print and media." He never said, "I am Ford Agency's male model of the year." It attracted the wrong people as hangers on. Just as my baseball playing friends say, "I work in sports."
@avi8trgal173 жыл бұрын
Someone asked me when was I due , but I responded, "I am not pregnant, just FAT, but thank you for noticing..." hahahahahaa I was teasing and it made light of the situation..
@anitas58173 жыл бұрын
“Have you lost weight?” I do not want to talk about my weight with most people, and if I do, I’ll bring it up. There’s no good way to talk about someone’s weight.
@queenSummerKeli3 жыл бұрын
I agree. I never bring up the subject the weight.
@robbiepenney53443 жыл бұрын
I never ask about weight. I’m afraid someone will say it’s because of a terminal illness! I just don’t go there.
@MorrisonMonkeys3 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness, yes! I got this from aunties and grandmas as a teen and it made me incredibly self-conscious...All I could think was, "Why, how fat was I before?" I was at a perfectly healthy weight then, and always thought I was fat.
@davideasiebert19413 жыл бұрын
Lost? actually looks like you found it, keep it.
@Lisa593 жыл бұрын
Can you reply, "No, but have you gained weight?" I also hate, "How do you stay so slim?" (I know it's meant as a compliment, but it puts me on the spot.) Because I'd NEVER ask anyone, 'How did you get so fat?'"!!
@EtherealZaftig3 жыл бұрын
The rudest question I received was when a business rep asked me what religion I was, since I'm not of the mainstream religion I did take offense. My response was "My religion does not dictate whether or not we will do business." I know my response was probably a bit defensive, but again I'm not the mainstream religion and I get judged for that fact alone nearly every day. After my statement, I quickly moved on to him showing me the next catalog. There was an awkward silence and he apologized, which I accepted, and drew attention back to the catalog. This is was a business meeting and personal life or beliefs are a non-issue.
@isabellavalencia80263 жыл бұрын
You stated that perfectly!! How dare anyone ask such personal questions that have nothing to do with the business at hand. Good for you!
@melaniedejonge52343 жыл бұрын
When people ask why I never got married or had kids, I usually say, "I was way too busy minding my own business." 😜 They generally get pissed. I...do not care.
@kathyingram30613 жыл бұрын
~I love that & will use it next time im asked that!!!~
@tassinmonkeys3 жыл бұрын
After 17 years of marriage, 45 years old, and no plan for kids ever, I get those "are you going to have kids" questions less and less. If I do, I say "factory is closed for business" 🤣
@ksmith93333 жыл бұрын
The rudest question people ask when they find out that I don’t work is: Well, what do you do all day? To which I respond, Whatever ever I feel like that day. 😂 If they they push for an answer I will say that my life is not their business. 🤷🏼♀️ But the message is that you can’t be useful or productive if you don’t get paid for services rendered. 🙄
@cashby14253 жыл бұрын
How about “ I am master of my own and my family’s destiny instead of being a slave of someone else’s desk” ! When I have been asked this, sometimes I have said “ oh I don’t do anything but eat chocolates and watch Oprah all day....”
@27foxplace3 жыл бұрын
@@cashby1425 🤣 That's one I have to remember! Thank you! I also like CEO of Domestic Operations 😀
@pattyg.48723 жыл бұрын
I worked with someone that when she decided to retire and someone asked her “What are you going to do with yourself?” , her answer was “Why do I have to do anything?” I love that! My favorite response ever!!!
@barbarakornacki85993 жыл бұрын
They are probably jealous.
@paulawashington31753 жыл бұрын
@@pattyg.4872 I remember someone asking an 80 year old friend how long he'd been retired. He said 20 years. The first many said, "Wow! What do you do with all your time?" When the 80 year old stopped laughing, he said, "I'm so busy that I wonder how I ever found time to work."
@DafyddMorse3 жыл бұрын
My wife was asked what she did for a living and when she responded that she was a teacher the other person asked “Couldn’t you think of anything better to do?” 🤦♂️
@TreasureForeverOfficial3 жыл бұрын
Teaching is the best thing you can do!
@staceykersting7053 жыл бұрын
I LOVE that rebuttal! LOL
@staceykersting7053 жыл бұрын
@@TreasureForeverOfficial Too many teachers I've met have no sense of humor. Too boring...just as Mark Twain said...Those that can't DO, teach.
@shoshanaeri80353 жыл бұрын
@@staceykersting705 how rude of you!
@PrincessHVHHDSSS3 жыл бұрын
So mean, and clearly doesn't know the years of University to become one. Teachers are insanely highly educated and are trained in creating an environment to increase the learning capabilities of the pupils they are engaging with. Teachers are wonderful people. Love Princess Holly of Australia hairdresser 🕊🌿🍞🍷🌳🌲🍀🍃
@wandamercer69643 жыл бұрын
I have been asked “What are you?” all my life. It never gets boring.
@kymh43573 жыл бұрын
I get this all the time. Mainly summer/fall. When I tell them, they follow up with another rude assumption.
@yubantwo20863 жыл бұрын
Question: "What are you?" Answer: "A human being!" In Germany, where I, a POC, live people ask: "Where do you come from?" Answer " USA" which leads to: "where do you come from originally?" Ans: "Ohio" then "but where exactly?!" Ans: "Cleveland". Usually at some point they get exhausted, get the hint & leave or change the subject. Sometimes they persist until the bitter end. After having taken a DNA test if I feel like humoring myself, I give them the percentages beginning in GERMANY then Europe, South East Asia by which time they're either insulted, give up or get finally get the hint.
@lindairvine73423 жыл бұрын
Say all American girl
@kymh43573 жыл бұрын
@@yubantwo2086 Many people don't have that tact. They see a difference and just blurt out rude things. Maybe They don't do it with ill intent but sometimes I think they do. I do answer human. Because when I answer what they want to know it leads to too many other questions.
@laurawells88793 жыл бұрын
When asked “when are you due?” my SIL responded with a laugh, “oh I’m not pregnant, just way behind on my crunches!” I think that’s a classy response and it’s always a good idea to lighten the situation with humor.
@sealseba87623 жыл бұрын
Why
@frankieamsden79183 жыл бұрын
I was once asked when I was due, I responded "9 months from tonight"
@tootstoyou13 жыл бұрын
Lighten with humor! Nearly Always the best option!
@mrooz90653 жыл бұрын
@@bathemeinchampagne Absolutely. If not you, who else gonna teach the rude a lesson.
@FlygirlFunnyLady3 жыл бұрын
I have been asked “Why are you always smiling?” Lol I laugh and said because I am happy and content. Lol
@TheDailyConnoisseur3 жыл бұрын
That's a high quality problem! :)
@David-lv3ve3 жыл бұрын
👍
@staceykersting7053 жыл бұрын
Yes...I get that question, too. I say, "It keeps people guessing."
@FlygirlFunnyLady3 жыл бұрын
@@staceykersting705 ha! My mama would reply “it makes people wonder what I have been up to!”
@j.darrel5173 жыл бұрын
Great answer. I actually had someone ask me that in high school, so there you have it, the mentality of the person who asked you this really isn't very impressive.
@californianorma8763 жыл бұрын
The question about "what are you" hits home. I was adopted at birth. People would always ask me this question. I would tell them that we were told I am Swedish and Italian. I look kind of dark and it turns out I am not Italian but Mexican and California native. So my whole life people saw that and asked about it but I didn't know about it. My one solid response to strangers was, "I'm not sure. Why is it important to you?" No tone, just a question.
@johnbean39433 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately I have asked many of these questions myself and never thought at the time that I was being very rude! Most of the time I was just trying to make conversation and I always was trying to show interest in the other person. Now I realize that people are probably thinking that I’m the rudest person they have ever met! I had no idea!!! So sorry to everyone that I have offended in my life of 79 years. Never would hurt or embarrass anyone being a sensitive person myself. Not trying to defend myself; but I have a desire to learn about people as I find them so deeply interesting. Johns wife