5 Signs the Avoidant Cares

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In this video, Thais Gibson shares 5 signs that the avoidant attachment style (dismissive avoidant or fearful avoidant) actually does care. Learn about the subtle communicate cues of your avoidant partner as Thais offers up some insights and tips. For more information check out the relevant course above on how to master the dating stage of relationships.
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:08 - Disclaimer
00:03:00 - Sign #1: They Make Time
00:04:05 - Sign #2: More Consistent Than Inconsistent
00:05:27 - Sign #3: They Give In Their Love Language
00:06:55 - Sign #4: Eventually Open Up
00:07:46 - 7-Day Free Trial: How To Master Dating Stage
00:08:27 - Sign #5: They Ask About You
00:09:26 - 30% Off Promo
00:11:18 - Conclusion
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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.
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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #DismissiveAvoidant #DismissiveAvoidantAttachment #DismissiveAvoidantCourse #FearfulAvoidant

[@shaylachaplin8901]

I’ve been dating a DA for awhile and I can’t tell you how much your videos have helped me ❤ thank you so much for your content!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Wonderful to hear! Your partner is lucky to have you ❤

[@jennifer9528]

1. They make time for you 2. They are more consistent than inconsistent 3. They give through their own love language, often acts of service (because acts of service leaves them feeling less vulnerable than other love languages) 4. Though the pace is slow, they eventually open up 5. They ask about you

[@mikyl-fo8rh]

My neighborhood A/C guy fits the criteria on a strictly professional basis.

[@mdmcpherson8574]

One of the hardest things about being with a DA is constantly feeling micro-rejections from them- I’m an FA and eventually the constant feeling of rejection left me with severe issues. It takes an incredibly strong and tenacious person to stand by a DA for the little they give

[@h.meraki1156]

May I ask you if it was mental issues ?

[@kellikakes81]

This! And I wonder if they understand these MANY micro-aggressions they may see as arbitrary, are tearing down the integrity of the relationship...but I know my DA is thinking we are building or getting better (or sustaining something good enough), not realizing how the severity his micro aggressions are fraying the fabric of our relationship.

[@rebecca_stone]

@@kellikakes81 Perfect description, thank you. This is where I'm at with my DA, who can be so amazing, but the micro-agressions (some very big actually) have chipped away at me over the past few years and I think I've reached a tipping point. The worst is hearing him dismiss the aggressions, or minimise them.

[@pure-pisces9980]

Totally agree!

[@LeeChrissy]

I felt this. It was more of the confusion with my DA. I'm a FA so I know I confused him too, but I was fine until the inconsistency started. Literally killed my self-esteem. So now I'm doing the courses and trying to heal myself. Very painful dynamic.

[@PaigeSquared]

The consistency in communication is that he does not. 🤣

[@PaigeSquared]

It seems like he will not believe that I want to know him. It's been two years since we actually got close. I want him to know I'm not the same person. I want there to be a desire to know me. He doesn't ask about my day, doesn't ask questions, and seems flustered and offended when I do. Covert narc or DA or both? 😅

[@harsieseutasu758]

​@pageashleypage They have surprising overlap.

[@PaigeSquared]

@@sunbeam9222 as of right now, I test as secure, but in the relationship I mentioned above, I functioned primarily as anxious preoccupied. I lean towards anxious preoccupied when I am in love, but I began illustrating more fearful avoidant traits after my ex husband held my son and I hostage in 2021. My mom is avoidant, so I think I must have stored some of her FA habits in my subconscious mind; they didn't come out until the person I was primarily attached to became a source of obvious pain.

[@amandalisby9489]

@@PaigeSquared this. I want to know the answer to this question

[@PaigeSquared]

@@amandalisby9489 I think it's both 😣

[@chiaraA.]

What the DA thinks is a relationship versus was their partners think or want may be worlds apart. I'm glad I didn't get further into a relationship and it ended because when all is said and done this is quite a poor representation of the type of romantic partnership that I would want or would work for me - they just sound like rehab patients - anyone who wants to take this on as their primary relationship more power to you, you're far better than me

[@Leoo117]

So, the bottom line is that if they care, they will put some type of effort in giving you their time. I think that is universal and goes for everyone and with all attachment styles. If they put in no effort to give of their time in any way, they clearly don't care and have no interest. Even in some situations where they might care deep down, but still put in no effort, they'd still be sabotaging themselves and that relationship in order to get themselves to not care anymore. Nothing can be done in these situations except to walk away.

[@Mermaid03_03]

Love the disclaimer. I felt like the DA did care and tried but it still just felt like breadcrumbs. I felt like I was always asking for too much and he felt like he never did enough. Just a disconnect. He was very much an acts of service guy and physical touch. Gifts and financial help was like pulling teeth.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@TheCoffeeCat]

Yes! In my experience, words of affirmation are also pulling teeth. Quality time, depends if they enjoy the activity.

[@Mermaid03_03]

@@TheCoffeeCat yes words of affirmation and reassurance only on his terms.

[@jessiemills2300]

Ummmm. Is financial help one of your love languages?

[@lilianchan1370]

I'm not avoidant and I don't think anyone should be obliged to give pressies or give financial services to their partners if they're not comfortable with it.

[@roxxaneritz9233]

I have this ON and OFF situationship with my DA since 3 years ago. 1-2 month we have together all this points Thais mentioned about in this video, and then he suddenly pulls away and i don't hear from him for over 1 month . Then he comes back and cicle keeps repeating itself. Communicating with him is impossible , i tried all the methods and he just stonewalls me everytime i want to gain some clarity , or to know what he really wants. We are long distance too. It's just so weird , cuz he pulls away exactly when we are at our best - everytime.

[@sukiarts]

It's always under the 3-6 months mark.. I was also in a LDR with a DA, after I went my way to see him, he wasn't very present, I felt very lonely next to him... On text he was so sweet and cute, but in person he was like someone else. When he started to pull away, I asked him what happened and then he wanted to break up, saying he can't do LDR. We were fine before and met on a dating app, so maybe he didn't do the research about what it takes to be in one and lead me on this whole time 🙃

[@The_NutritionChef]

Hes using you for sex you need to cut it off

[@Southpaw1001]

Three years? You've wasted three years on someone who has no respect for your feelings(?). Wow. I hope you move on. No one deserves to be treated like a puppet.

[@LeeChrissy]

I had something similar with one of my best friends who's a DA since 2021. Everytime I went to have the relationship talk, he went quiet or thought I was saying something else and got defensive and took it a different way. I'm a FA so my communication hasn't always been the greatest either. He wants to do all the relationship things and we've always stayed exclusive, but the label freaks him out. We did make it official in 2022, but I left anyway because it was only surface level and he would still shut down if I tried talking to him. We tried again this year and like you, it was going amazing! He even brought up moving in together. But he would still mention how he feels trapped and controlled in relationships and I basically told him we need to move it forward or move on because while relationships scare him, being in the gray area bothers me. I really wanted this too.

[@gmiller8167]

Videos on DAs are really appreciated since this attachment style is the least likely to embrace learning about attachment styles or doing the work for healthy attachment in relationships. It would be really great if videos were put out about the DA attachment style that is past the initial dating stages. Videos geared toward those that have been in relationship or marriage for 2+ years. Behaviors of DAs in this stage. Ideas on topics would be their beliefs around $ and sharing of $, spending their own money on others - gifts or otherwise, why they will stay in relationship, even live together, but won’t move forward with marriage, etc. sort of advanced videos on the DA attachment style in long term relationships.

[@kellikakes81]

Dang...are you spying on my household?!??! Man! I need this too. EVERYTHING you mentioned I experience/experienced (add a few more things I can think of too). I would LOVE some info on this, foe I'm in the same situation currently

[@elizabethechase]

Yes. Thank you for saying this. I've been with my DA partner for 9 years (well, not now, as he decided to leave because I wanted to finally get married). He came back after eight months saying he wanted to fix things, now he's back to not sure because I still want to marry... We have a child and have built life and I don't know how to deal with it all.

[@melaniewebster]

My ex bf who is severely avoidant did all these things & always told me & showed me he loved me but he still ran 3 weeks after we purchased a house together. It was HIS idea to move in together but I think it's what triggered his need to run. I'm having such a hard time getting past this. He's so self unaware that he doesn't see it as a trauma response.

[@robertadcox8419]

Hi Melanie, sorry for what happened to you. You are right, my DA is so self unaware that I have come to believe that she lives in some sort of fantasy world not trying to be funny, that all of sudden wakes up, see reality and can't accept it. We split and yet she continues to carry on the relationship as if nothing happened.

[@TheCoffeeCat]

Wow, I had a similar experience. After 2 years in the relationship he wanted me to move to his city and move in with him. My work allowed me to, so I did. Even though I said I'd rather get my own place, he insisted I should move into his. Well, 2 months later and he's devaluing and discarding me in every possible way. It was a real blow, considering I had moved across the country for him. It got ugly, he started sleeping in another room, eventually he just ran away with a backpack without telling me where he was headed. This was in the beginning of the pandemic, so I was too afraid to go house hunting for myself - but I did anyway, and on the day before the move (literally at the last possible moment) he hugged me, cried and begged me to stay. I didn't.

[@csstudio3648]

I'm unfortunately dealing with someone who is an alcoholic. He shows up as an avoidant when not drinking and demonstrates some caring as mentioned in the video and as an anxious style when drinking. It is mind-bending, to say the least. He's been very slowly pushing the relationship forward while simultaneously adopting anxious behaviors to draw me in, then pushing me away. Acting like it's a relationship, then it's not. he wants his complete freedom with benefits. Truly exhausting. I'm extricating myself from this chaotic situation atm. It's helpful to understand attachment styles to get clarity on wth is going on!

[@paige8361]

Melanie, I am in the same boat! I am so sorry you are going through this. He initiated every single major relationship "milestone" but would ghost me directly after. Not one text or phone call for weeks - nothing. This has happened three times: after he asked me to be exclusive, after asking to buy a home and get a dog together, and after he brought up marriage and having babies. Vacations are also a trigger. He offers then rips the carpet out under my feet and back pedals. Extremely painful and confusing. I do have compassion for him because I can tell he is genuine and wants to let love in SO badly but can't. It's an internal battle and his fear wins. It is such an exhausting rollercoaster. I will always love him, but in the end he is the one that needs to save himself. If my love could have saved him, his childhood wounds would have been healed a million times over a very long time ago. Sorry this is so lengthy, but it made me feel better to get it out. Sending you love, support, and healing 💕

[@blueaqua2122]

I hear you. I went through a similar experience where a DA wanted to move out with me but then ended things and ghosted me within a week. I tried to communicate with him (yes, even in the positive) and it got me no where.

[@trucuriousity]

My DA has taken two attachment style tests that say he's secure. It's so frustrating because he clearly is not. It's like he's so out of touch that he's answering the questions wrong or something. The beginning of our relationship was fantastic. He was crazy about me. Then as we got to the four month mark, he slowly started to pull away and come back over and over. The acts of service diminished. The little gifts stopped coming. He didn't want to text as much. Finally, at 5.5 months, he dumped me. It seemed to change overnight. He said he just isn't in love with me. I was totally blindsided. What a torturous thing this has been. I'm hoping i can learn to identify and avoid these types. As an AP\FA, I just keep attracting them.

[@roshalllambert]

Love the accuracy of this info as always!!

[@taylortomaselli3497]

Thank you. I don't trust my own judgment so this is very helpful. ❤

[@tucky3191]

And love how you tied in the topic of the video to your courses and how we can get more help there!!!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@tucky3191]

Love the clarification that it doesn’t mean it’s about us ❤

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@blueaqua2122]

Yes, hearing that it's not about us is much needed even if it seems repetitive. I've been working on myself for a long time but sometimes still think a past DA's behavior is a reflection of my worth/value even though it's been over a decade...

[@addy8857]

My DA recently asked for space after everything felt like it was going great. He said he loves having me around and thinks I am great person. So it just came out of nowhere. I'm so scared he really won't reach our again after this.

[@sheliasmith2884]

Give him the space we have learned to match their energy when they pull back you pull back.if you run after them you will push them away. Also we have been taught that saying I love you is hard for them so he probably does.l let him have his space it does not always mean something bad they have to feel free. I know I walked away from mine we were together 2 years I'm secure I just could not take it I'm big on quality time I loved this man but I needed a little more he will be back because mine did you just step back and work on you.

[@cristinaalvarez6822]

If he doesn't, then it's his loss.

[@sukiarts]

@@sheliasmith2884 how long it usually took for him to come back?

[@user-og1ge5cx9s]

Hey, I’m DA (female) and the vast majority of the times it is just wanting some space. It’s not personal to you. I want space from my friends too. As it happens several of my friends are DA also, so we sort of get each other that way. What I can say is I’ve never ghosted anyone or lied about my level of commitment. A lot of the DA stuff I was doing I didn’t know was weird, much less indicative of anything about me as a person. That said, if the random pleas for space are too much for you, and it’s scaring you, it’s okay to leave. You don’t owe your DA anything. That said, regardless of attachment style, people aren’t going to synch up 100% of the time in a relationship. If you don’t like how you feel around someone, more often than not, you call it off even if you love them. Love isn’t supposed to be scary or painful.

[@addy8857]

@@user-og1ge5cx9s thank you for this. That means a lot to me. A lot of stressful things all happened at once with him. Unexpected home repairs and a ongoing family issue. It was bad timing, but I brought up our relationship when he was making these comments like "We might not even be talking to each other in 2 years". And I asked "Why can't you just enjoy the now?" And he said "I'm going to get too busy one day and you're going to be disappointed that I can't give you more and we'll stop talking," I was just...shocked. So this stressful night on top of everything else just made everything fall apart.

[@FitLikeaPhoenix]

I'm really struggling to discern the difference between a dismissive avoidant attachment style and a covert narcissist. For example, I don't know if the guy I was seeing was showing me that he cares by consistently spending two consecutive days with me a week, or if he was a covert narcissist grooming me as his supply to ensure he gets his own needs met.

[@Predictable1]

Just know you aren't the only one, because same. To me these 2 are a bit too similar, and anyway covert narcissism is a spectrum.

[@stevensantora2976]

Thank you so much.

[@arkkangelisk]

I’m using your techniques and feel like it’s working with the DA individual I’ve been dating for the past 4+ months.

[@sif1083]

we use to talk to each other once a week, and he gave me food so i understood that as his love language so i also made him food to give to him. then he started getting distant until he said he doesn't wanna see me :(

[@krilliondeja]

Your info. On DA's is so helpful. I can't help but wonder how the core personalityof each DA may affect their actions differently from another. Or is DA most prevalent in only a few personality types? Do you have any insight on that?

[@FM-iw9cp]

After two years, my loved FA starts to show me very tender acts of service, helping me in a very bad period.....I've loved her and her sweetness since I knew her, and I really cannot stop to loving her. Through her I discovered that I'm a DA too, and indeed I scare about a true love story.....

[@innercitywolfchild]

im a AP and have just been dating a DA. this whole system of attachment styles is totally new to me. im afraid on this occasion our differences were toxic for us. but now i feel that i know a bit more about myself at least . i have so much to give and care for. a DA is hard work for sure. i will try and educate myself to see the signs for the future. and im going to be acknowledging my own attachment. and sitting with all my feelings. its sad as i really was connected to my DA and i tried so hard to give her space and let her be her self. i never fought against her style. i just reacted. my reactions pushed my DA away. its over now. thank you for the content ❤❤

[@Mileys_choice]

I'm confused about something: My (now ex, recently) took the test and the results were that he's a DA. Also, I already pegged him as a DA and just had him take the test for confirmation. However, what doesn't fit is how he is so the beginning of a relationship/situation-ship. He's extremely interested & shows it. He does ask the initiating, is very open & honest, showers with attention & adoration... all the things that made me fall in love. It's the middle of the relationship when he pulls away, and after 15 years together (19 total, but a 4 yr split, then reconnected), I've been trying to bring these things out in him again. I assumed his age (48 y/o) just made him different. However, he had an emotional affair with my niece, and most of it was done via text, so I got to see all the things I had been craving given to her! The confusion comes from how he is in the beginning... it doesn't sound like a true DA. Do you have any suggestions for finding out why this is? Is there any test that goes deeper, similar to the MBTI test, where there are dashes of another personality type?

[@pist251]

OK. So he doesn't really care much lol so why did he beg me to take him back over and over again when I left ?? I will never be with him again. But I wanna understand this behaviour.

[@user-j927]

This is great, thank you. Do DAs tend to have casual short-term relationships? If yes, how do they navigate those? - Do they still put in the effort to show they care in these 5 ways? i.e. opening up about themselves, and ask about you to get to know more to see if it's a a good fit? Thanks

[@myspirit.divinecenter2980]

What they tend to do is act 100% like they are in a committed relationship but then they get triggered if you ever say "we are in a relationship". They want to have all the actions and trappings of a real relationship and play it out - but they don't want to consider you or committ to you or have your back. ever. So its such a mind f¥ck. If they were honest up front and say "i only want casual sex" then they wouldnt be nearly as harmful.

[@kingaberlakovich5585]

Texting won’t work, but he makes time ( whole weekends), makes me breakfast every time, touches me, says word of affirmation, and slowly opens up. But doesn’t asks two much about me… We date for 3,5 months. I hope this is a good sign.

[@Ryan-yg7zc]

I was involved with a FA and always thought I was very anxious. I now realise Im incredibly avoidant with all my relationships except the one with her. I have a feeling Im strongly FA which given my childhood makes a lot of sense but can two FAs drive each other into opposite ends of the spectrum?

[@premingerownsmyuwus101]

​@CALIGRL888 im an outside party but im curious. Would you consider yalls attraction/connection as emotional cheating? I would Edit: to clarify, I'd consider it emotional cheating because you clearly liked each other and, although you did nothing physical, he also didn't make an effort to cut you out of his life to focus on his actual girlfriend

[@refreshingtwist]

They say that Fearful Avoidants can lean more anxious or lean more avoidant. It's very possible that you both triggered each other to lean hard one way or the other, but at the end of the day - you're still an FA. I'm FA leaning avoidant. Thais has a quiz online, might be worth checking it out to see what you actually are.

[@nova12332]

Dam my girl is a DA im sure of it. If i had known these attachment styles, we wouldnt had broken up

[@h.meraki1156]

When you feel you have accidentally (because of your own unmanaged trauma response) done something triggering what would be the best thing to do ? I feel like even trying to speak about it bu text is too much

[@dragon66ize]

I did this about 3 weeks ago... not knowing of course..response was just devastating...I was able to text after a few days after I realised that my initial response to his text had been because it triggered Me... which conversely then triggered Him as I didn't know what I said was one of his! Mine-feld. We don't know these things until it happens. I ended up apologising and explaining (and being vulnerable and texting to say that, to help with his understanding) how his reply had affected me because of my trigger. Left it for a day and then I texted, so are we OK? I got a meme the next day, obviously avoiding texting but wanting to contact with non text to avoid having to discuss. I saw that on another video here that's what they do. So we are as OK as can be. I'm learning every day from these videos, usually after the fact unfortunately, so I'm going through as many videos as possible as can't do the courses yet!, trying to anticipate any next moves...he doesn't know he is a DA. I have done a few techniques.. would recommend at this stage the things to say to a DA to make them feel accepted etc. Even just, I wanted to let you know that I accept you unconditionally etc etc and with an apology but don't mention triggers unless it is your own. They don't like to feel less than...I got a reply. Just a general one, but it was something rather than nothing. I'm in it for the long haul so I will be introducing some verbal poss childhood trauma as I do have that too for extremely gentle lead in to attachment styles, but not yet.6 months in. He is a friend from an online class. Will never meet and I for sure didn't know what I was getting into! Never heard of it before until I was so emotionally wrecked I did some research. It's perfect for him as long distance, no ties, fantasy land...I wish you luck. All resources are here. I would love to ask him so many questions, but I take it slow. Trauma bonding at it's finest here. It's like learning a new language but at the moment it is OK for me now I know about attachment theory xx

[@h.meraki1156]

@@dragon66ize thank you very much for your reply! “Emotionally wrecked” I feel you. Wish you all the happiness you deserve

[@dragon66ize]

​@H. Meraki you too. Good luck. Let me know how you get on if you want. I'm interested.

[@h.meraki1156]

@@dragon66ize i think sometimes people are too damaged… and all this stuff can really mess up our mental health

[@pure-pisces9980]

@@dragon66ize Please don't loose yourself in giving your all....as I did...its more often than not.... seen or reciprocated...Which is no doubt an extreme lack of awareness..... & Is extremely triggering ( the both of us did also) But one cannot do the work alone!! It's Soul crushing 😢 I wish you all the best ...

[@rrico4445]

Question for the DA’ s why when a da is upset they say mean stuff that are so hurtful and don’t apologize. So does the da even care about my feelings and how much what they say can affect someone???? I’m just hurt what my da says to me when he gets mad 😢

[@LeeChrissy]

I'm not a DA, I'm a FA and I've never had a DA say anything mean to me. That sounds more like a FA or AP and if it is a DA, then maybe someone with a little narcissism? DA's tend to shut down over being hurtful.

[@sif1083]

and all these traits fit capricorn men

[@famoussteee]

But why do they sometimes go days w/o saying anything to you?

[@judithayden3481]

because everything I say is either wrong words, wrong intonation, and elicits anger. It's never correct.

[@nannyboo9832]

Mine does that and he can go 2 days without talking to me. I think they just need more space than other ppl

[@carolinegrove4701]

How are you supposed to know what to talk about with people?

[@BeelzeKid]

call me stan pines , cuzz i wish she stan by me while im pineing for the fjords .... jeah dont lose your self in the moment , you better never let it go, you only got one shot do not miss your chance to blow cuzz opertunety comes once in a life time doh ! even if i could it would all be great but your picture is on my wall - it reminds me that its not so bad ... not so bad ... T_T im trapped in my own head HELP !

[@lizb4156]

Grey not great.

[@sukiarts]

To all DAs and DAs partners, how long do you/they usually take to come back after pulling away? Or even deactivating? Would you reach out to them? Or leave them alone?

[@h.meraki1156]

May I add, especially if something that trigger them happened?

[@user-og1ge5cx9s]

I’m DA. Usually when I ask for space I just need a day or two to muck about and I’m good. I’m just adulting or indulging in my hobbies. If you reach out, I don’t mind a couple (literally two or three) of friendly texts. If you tell me something like “Hope you’re having fun!” I feel way more encouraged/loved than if you start asking me “What are you doing?” If I’ve deactivated, it’s more or less a poutfest and I do not want to be approached. I will calm down and come back. Keep in mind our needs for space vary. Some DAs are reeeeeaaaaaalllllyyy DA. I once was with a DA that thought meeting up more than once a week was intolerable and didn’t care for texting. I’m good meeting up twice a week and don’t mind texting almost every day. He thought I was clingy lol.

[@h.meraki1156]

@@user-og1ge5cx9s​​⁠may I ask you how you would feel if someone tries (way later) to apologize for something they’ve done that might have triggered you (you were passive aggressive about it) -but you weren’t thinking about it anymore. Would you be upset they bring it back ? Discard them ? Or feel the apology is a form of neediness ? Thank 🙏

[@user-og1ge5cx9s]

@@h.meraki1156 If it’s been a while since the incident occurred, it would confuse and irritate me that you brought it up again. I would say something like, “That was a week ago, why are you still on about that?” Even if I wasn’t fine last week, I am fine now and I still like you, so there’s no need to keep bringing it up. If you keep bringing it up, it makes me anxious because I don’t understand why you’re still anxious about it and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to calm you down. It also irritates me because it makes me feel like your mom, which I am not. For example, an Anxious friend of mine who rejected romantically me a couple months ago still felt guilty about it, and very recently felt the need to apologise to me for starting to date someone else. I was genuinely irritated with him. Am I avoidant? Yes. Am I Satan? No. Avoidants are afraid of being trapped, so we do not want to trap others. I will not force someone to like me or stay with me, no matter how much I care about them. They have the right to leave at any time and I will not challenge them on it. If I care about you, I will care about your freedom, privacy and personal space. My friend did not owe me an apology for being interested in another woman, and he certainly didn’t owe me an explanation about why he was dating her. I’m not his mom and he’s not in trouble with me. He is a grown adult and can choose who to love for himself. As far as me taking his apology personally, yes, I was insulted that he apologised because it tells me he doesn’t trust me to be there for him and that I am only hanging around him to get him to date me. Is that what was on his mind? Probably not. That is DA logic, though, if you’re curious.

[@LeeChrissy]

@@user-og1ge5cx9s just curious. If you know that a person is still anxious about something, are you aware enough that you know their anxiousness is them feeling pain because to them the issue is not fully resolved? I know DA's like to self-sooth and think others should just be able to take care of themselves and their emotions, but that's not a reality for AP's or FA's. It actually really hurts. So knowing that, are you trying to work on thinking past how you think things should be and want to learn how to communicate to resolve the issue instead of getting annoyed or are you comfortable with continuing on the way that feels more natural to you?

[@bmillar271]

I have no reason to be here at all. To do what sit here alone sitting in my car all day everyday being ignored by the woman I love and avoiding people and never being completly detached from everyone in this world. I have no need or want for friends. Who needs people in their lives causing them problems and betraying them constantly? No thanks. I don't follow the crowd and I never will. I have no need ir desire to belong ir to fit in. So, I'm complelty weird in comparison to litterally everyone else on the planet. And so, why be here. I think I would be better off on a planet with just me and the woman I love. Then we would just be fine and could learn and understand each other just fine.

[@gurlycash7394]

I'm a DA. Here's another spin on having "acts of service" love language. My mom was an alcoholic growing up and my step-dad was the primary caregiver. He showed love through actions and less words. So me as an adult, I studied my love language. I'm a 1950's housewife but I make my own money because vulnerability cripples me. This love language requires less emotional strength. In my mind as a DA, I feel like my partner should love this because I would and be more lenient that I struggle to show up emotionally. I tend to get resentment because my partner seems like a selfish self-centered jerk

[@Michelle7.17]

You will know that this 👈🏻FA cares if I stick around 😂

[@cristinaalvarez6822]

They dont spoil you by any means. Why?

[@Mileys_choice]

((((SO)))) 😂🤣

[@gregorystinette8271]

My dog really doesn't care about any of this. Woof

[@gregorystinette8271]

@Sunbeam / I like to acknowledge how pathetic humanity is & also it helps her channel grow. Shalom