5 Signs Your Ex Still Loves You But Is Scared

In this video, Clay Andrews discusses 5 signs your ex still loves you but is scared to commit. You may also want to check out this series on signs your ex wants you back: • Signs Your Ex Wants Yo...
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Let's talk about some signs your ex still cares but isn't really willing to open up about it and maybe even afraid to commit.
When it comes to signs your ex still has feelings for you, you need to look at the emotional level and ask yourself, what is my ex thinking right now? What is motivating their actions and behaviors?
You have to look as how they feel, rather than relying on fortune cookie advice or anything like that.
Why?
Because your ex is going through their own emotional process. And if you don't understand that and acknowledge that you may very well miss many signs your ex still likes you.
So, look at what they are feeling. Look at how their emotions are motivating their actions.
That will give you more clarity in this regard.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.

[@ClayAndrews]

Thank you for watching this video. You may also be interested in this series on signs your ex wants you back (or doesn't) kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqXThZyoirpgh7c

[@juels7461]

I have been looking for a video like this forever!!! Thank you, thank you. I'm about to completely give up 😔

[@siobhancurran319]

Thank you

[@garathherbert2574]

I really wanna believe you but I'm so scared that I'm believing something that may never happen ahh

[@javiersaucedo8370]

I was in a 15 year marriage . My wife wanted a seperation cause she said she fell out of love . She filed for divorce shortly after . 4 months later we are now communicating more and we are friends with benefits . Yet she said that this won't lead to nothing more . Im so confused. What could that mean? We text pics to each other and even have lunch dates but she doesn't want to commit.

[@Julia-on3xh]

Very interesting and resonated, my ex seems stuck on 4 not had no 5 yet, but can you elaborate how you can help them move forward, and make the move towards getting back together. They were the dumper, so im thinking better that they come back and make things good as they will have thought about it, and be committed to put the work in and want it to work. As i was the one putting the work in, so it was a unbalanced relationship on shaky foundations.

[@natej5440]

#1 Is interested in your love life but is still distant #2 Still has interest on your future and keeps tabs open #3 Your ex plays hot and cold (pulls back) #4 They’re too scared to budge (make a move on you) #5 They start to give excuses of why it previously didn’t work out

[@ClayAndrews]

Thanks for doing the summary. :-)

[@bonnyandrews5359]

Peggy Dickson what’s that ? Witchcraft?

[@bonnyandrews5359]

My ex had all this signs until one day stopped talking to me. I cared and cried but I moved on now and trying to better myself for me not expecting anything . 😊☺️ thanks for the summary.

[@Darius-qg8tu]

Peggy Dickson what is it

[@Xiandoe]

All this sounds like he’s just not that into you lol

[@Vorax07]

She told me "Just because I call u and want to see you,doesn't mean we're getting back together " 😂😂😂

[@genarocastro2259]

I did no contact about a year ago. And i completely forgot about it.. I been working on myself taking dance classes meeting new people. So my advice is just move on worry about yourself and not the other person.

[@manmatemonkey5076]

Me too Genaro, nice to come out the other side of a breakup still intact and having realized my worth and back to my happy self. I know I would not do to someone else what she did too me and showed me her ugly callous cruel side.

[@JJuiicceee]

Then why are watching this video

[@genarocastro2259]

@@JJuiicceee to let the dumbasses that want their girls back know. That they don't need them enough said !

[@manmatemonkey5076]

@@genarocastro2259 we are all students of life and womens mind games, one day i will know everything and not need to learn anymore, until that day i will continue my quest for understanding and to meet someone who is more then the wooden starfish i used to know. Truth is i probably met her years ago but let her slip away. The women i now meet are a mess mentally emotionally and always physically - blobs with bad heads and faces :(

[@genarocastro2259]

@@manmatemonkey5076 I use to think that I needed someone to get over the other.. but really what I needed was for me to be ok with myself. It took me a few months and I figured it out. Life is quest but if I where any of you I would just take your time and I feel like it will work out in the end.

[@BizGenGirl]

We're in that stage of him saying things out of nowhere - usually when we're connecting emotionally & he's seeing how we've both grown, and he'll throw something out there that seems like an excuse for why we can't be together - at least right now. Thankfully I watched some of your other videos early on, and knew that was a good sign. Just wish I had a handbook for how to respond to each excuse in a way that's pressure free, doesn't feel like us getting back together is my "agenda", and also doesn't feel like I don't care.

[@80sfanjk]

My ex told me , he loved me and missed me. Next day ghost me, blocked me. Ouch

[@solidcatink]

fear only

[@stacieembrey3290]

Same here

[@johnnewsome3861]

You got played

[@_tiktok_royalty_145]

Bruh.

[@anshika7463]

Maybe he gave it a last shot before moving on completely..

[@sashdavae1763]

These signs are SPOT ON! Especially the last one! I am the one that is scared to get back with my ex. Trust me when I say WE are struggling as well, if not more 😞

[@themadmattster9647]

she'll never talk to me again more than likely, but I didn't burn the bridge.

[@hwdareu5848]

Same here.

[@shanonjestis167]

I subscribed to your channel because of this video

[@Visionary_of_Love]

still loving doesent mean, you want to commit with an ex again, if you dont see, that what made you separate can be solved... 🤔

[@wategoslife8371]

Great video She has done all 5, might actually buy your kit. Your growing in me. Love from Byron bay australia

[@ClayAndrews]

Sounds like good news for you. Your ex may just need to see more consistency of good interactions from you to finally admit to herself what she truly feels.

[@lukas7504]

This just told me that I still love her in 237 different ways

[@rhondakelley6608]

Lol. I'm Very confused listening to him. If I had to pay to listen to this, I'd be feeling real ripped off. The whole time, I'm like Whaaat? 🤨🤔. He actually sounds like my ex. Still NO clue. Haha

[@kellyjohnson7221]

Wow. Thank you so much

[@amyconway9923]

Explained very clearly. Thank you it was insightfull✌

[@ClayAndrews]

You're welcome, Amy. Don't forget to subscribe to our channel as well. :-)

[@mikecallahan4499]

Hi Clay! First I want to thank you for what you are doing here. You are so Awesome! My X has definitely done more than one of these and we had a good meeting last night. Long story short. I got to the point of asking her to start at least seeing me again. She says she is fearful, but this time about losing me after going back together. She says she is not saying yes and not saying no. She has gladly taken 2 of my phone calls and is definitely thinking of me. Can you elaborate on what a couple steps might be from your stand point?

[@thenotsostarvingartist]

Thank you for keeping me sane during all this!

[@ClayAndrews]

You're welcome and thanks for watching my videos. :-)

[@winriningselle8759]

I and my ex broke up last month, and it was so devastating for me 😔. Last year I was in a depression phase because a love one passed away and it really affected me along with the online classes that I can't keep up. It became so suffocating and I always breakdown. I decided to go MIA for a week and not tell it to anyone including my ex. Then she thought we're over and just decided to move on, she realized that our relationship is toxic even if we didn't fought for a whole year unlike when the pandemic isn't still existing. I was so shocked when she told me all of these, she knew what I'm going through and how tough it was for me to pick my shits up. She told me she didn't really cried when she thought we've broken up coz she's busy with her studies that time and it became her distraction 😔. After my MIA week, I thought that everything between us was still okay 😔 we still call our petnames that time and such. Then all of a sudden she's gonna tell me all of what she'd done. I really wish for a second chance 😔

[@h3arty]

Dude, you're so knowledgeable in this stuff it's amazing. Really enjoying your advice. Just some kind feedback, I'd enjoy a different background/lighting. There's something about it I don't like, not sure lol.

[@ClayAndrews]

Thanks for the suggestion. ;-)

[@h3arty]

Awww I think I got used to it now that I've binged watched so many! Hahaha:)

[@inspiredx3866]

I was the good man that she commended, etc etc... And i told her i loved her..before she broke up. I dont regret it. If it scared her thats her fault to live with. I said how i felt and was open with my emotions.

[@jessiepalermo7234]

What if we were supposed to meet up to exchange the final belongings we still had of each other and she said "lets do it next weekend". I was planning to go NC after this but its been 43 days and "next weekend" never came. I have been in NC since then. Why would she do this??

[@MsCher2009]

I asked my ex out for dinner..n he told me maybe another time. Then i asked him if we were never going to have dinner ever again..he replied not that but jus not now..does this mean my ex still has feelings for me?

[@paigewatkinson9327]

My ex went away to wales where she lives for a week to see her family an have a break from lockdown with me.. first day there she wanted a future with me an everything an it made her realise but then days into it an she broke up with me...? what changed

[@zhiruili3782]

If they’ve been together for a year is it not a rebound anymore?

[@faezahjumahat4196]

Hi Clay Good Night From Singapore! Can A Guy Returns After He Ghosted Or Went Silent Or If The Guy Is On A Rebound Relationship? Can A Guy Confess His True Real Feelings With The Woman He Left Behind Or He Just Givez More Excuses Or If He Begging Or Pleading To Get Back Together? Can A Guy Takes The Risks And Not Wishy-Washy To Making A Big Decisions?

[@arianamontenegro5528]

My friend said this girl came back together met up went for two dates then she told him not to get any hopes for the future just as being friends but she loves him. What is it?

[@thejasenuobelho1393]

He left me for someone else I moved on and after 6 months he wanted me back I told him YOU DESERVE BETTER BUT I DESERVE MUCH MORE (The goal is to become a better version of yourself and when you do that They're no longer your type...)💓 And all this sign showed I'm shock.....great Coach I must say 💓💓

[@pinkfriday81995]

Me too that happen to me

[@mikealan1984]

What does it mean to be a better version of yourself

[@bonnyandrews5359]

Brent Waters setting boundaries and respect them.

[@mikealan1984]

@@bonnyandrews5359 what does that exactly mean

[@addel3023]

Clay, my boyfriend (for almost 9 months) broke up due to a lot of fighting, said he doest want such relationship but still loves me. One month passed, he came back said he wants us together again, he is ready to restore what he broke. We started going out, kissing, and discussing what went wrong, he admitted lying for things, overall 2...3 heavy conversations. He acted a bit different on his social media, more active with posts and befriending girls, deleting our one photoe, which i adressed as a problem for me. And then at the next day, he pulled away saying he is confused, not knowing if he is ready for a serious relationship. He is really sexually attracted to me..but not sure for the commitment part (he is a lot younger than me, he is 20). He said he will think one more week...and silence again. I messed up by talking so serious stuff so early and scared him away. What should I do now?? He is one step away from giving up on me again and leaving me for good.

[@lolacookie453]

Valentina Kostadinova back up you are giving off too much masculine energy. Most men don’t want a woman serving herself up on a platter. If you want more than just casual sex with him you need to set boundaries and that’s it. Make it clear, don’t go out with him and make out etc bc he will know that next time he can push the boundary a little further, just like a kid! 😂. You can tell him you wish him the best in what he’s looking for but you are going to move on with your life. If he can’t live without you he will come back and commit but if he’s indifferent and only attracted on the sexual level he will never commit. Btw what is the age difference?

[@JimmyDBlock]

Hey @clayandrews clay my ex in in a rebound relationship she tried to hide for the past 9/10 months and she thinks she loves him yet. I flew out to meet her with our kid and since we’ve been active👉🏽👌🏾 but pullbacks keep happening. And saying it’s weird. And that she’ll try but don’t expect us to get back together. So it’s like ... wtf is going on? Hot and cold days then when things go great it’s a shielded reminder every so often that her love is for the kid only. Won’t voice it me frequently. She literally said she just can’t leave him out in the cold(rebound) guy. I think she feel like she invested to much or sumn. But I definately have heard her say the negative generalization thing. I’m here for another month with her. What do I do. She maintains text contact with the guy but only seen him once to style his hair. She uses him for stuff a lot. Says he listens to her and they talk etc. that’s what killed our relationship her not talking and saying anything. It’s my baby mom we talking about here. Help me out clay. I don’t wanna quit. My son should have both his parents not one dedicated and one for self. She’s suggested I get fit I’ve been exercising and losing weight. she like that. 👌🏾 Drink only when she drinks. Birthday coming up so buying gifts. But after all that I’m on a plane with my kid and we gone. How to keep the interest. She said and told me if anything happens between them she’ll lemme know. 🤨🙄 Also said it’s sumn bout him that’s missing . Only clues I picked up on. We got a 5year old turning 6 she started dating him in September of last year on her job.. a co worker yes.. shoulder to lean on type bullshit. Hmu clay! Or sumone knowledgeable

[@DS-ft6sd]

ya my X contacted me as well thourgh pinterest.thought that was kind of odd she made it out to be a mistake that she messaged on it.then message me a second second time to wish me a happy Easter.not sure why she wants to be my friend after I burnt her bridge and called her some bad names.only way il be friends if it's with benefits.she pretty much burnt her bridge when I found she was sleeping with someone when I met her as well.then decided to dump me month and half because of that then she got her ass dumped from him and then decided to come to option B which was me.

[@jaquelinespinal1263]

Been there done that on and off with an insecure immature man. Best advice is end it and walk away move on it’s what I finally did . Feels good to be free and meet normal men !

[@goldiekoi935]

I am a 19 yr old guy, I would consider myself both of those. Working on it but I surely am. My question to you though is if you loved him getting a new "toy" rather than working through those two things is easier for you? I sure hope you didn't love each other or that he had other underlying issues wrong with him. Otherwise that's just plain heartless on your side hun.

[@jaquelinespinal1263]

@@goldiekoi935 Gave him ultimatum to change. The dude was terrible in the 8 years of relationship. I honestly settled for less. He’s a borderline narcissist that enjoys playing mind games.

[@goldiekoi935]

@@jaquelinespinal1263 oh that makes sense then. I mean most people say their ex's are narcissists, so he's probaly not. Clearly there was underlying issues in your relationship that me a guy on the internet has no clue about, so good on you I guess for getting out after 8 years.

[@jaquelinespinal1263]

@@goldiekoi935 I wouldn’t use the word “narcissist” if he wasn’t. If a guy behaves that way in ALL of his relationships it means something. Normal ppl don’t go around playing head games abs manipulation with all their relationships. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@nyaanya3806]

An ex belings to past ,that is the right place for an ex ! Just easy !We take the self learned lesson ,then forgive the hard part and then step up for future!

[@stephaniedekinger2463]

This is how narcissists learn how to act human, by watching videos.

[@neon_one_neo3317]

It's funny because the other day she finally reached out to me after a week of no contact just to ask me a really mundane question.

[@ClayAndrews]

How did your conversation went through?

[@neon_one_neo3317]

@@ClayAndrews i answered and she didnt answer back, i guess she was checking on me idk

[@hwdareu5848]

@@neon_one_neo3317 that's why I didn't call her back when I got a missed call from her on last valentine's day after 2-3 months of no contac. Our mutual friend reached out to me suggesting that we should remain as friends,I disagreed to do so. It's been almost 10 months, determined to move on......

[@nathangrisham8250]

She is in a rebound with her ex, some of these things sound like what she has said and done. We work together so no contact has been pretty difficult to maintain. When she has an issue at work she texts me for help instead of our boss which is confusing)a little annoying for me. She also said she couldn't stop her whole life to get back with me, I explained that isn't what I want her to do. She's quitting soon and I want to try to make her see that I am not as insecure as I was when we were together. I just don't know what I should do

[@ClayAndrews]

Be the change you want. Oftentimes, besides telling her that you've changed, she needs to see it- consistently. And this will need to take some time. Even if she quits, you will have other opportunities to show her.

[@nathangrisham8250]

I hope I get the chance to show her, I've made all the classic mistakes though. I listened to my insecurities and that drove us apart and now she has this guy and it's all confusing and painful

[@esperanzalemas1740]

I have no idea wut to do my ex and I talk like friends and :/ 2 months later after he me ask me if I still have feelings today and idk wut to say cuz I still do 😒 and I’ve been so hurt cuz I want hem back but idk if he’s just asking me cuz he wants to tease me or block me from everywhere

[@michaelpease6211]

Mine keeps lying. We have been hooking for 2 weeks. When i told her im moving on she panics. She lied to me again yesterday. Thankfully, i could sense it and this wasn't that hard on me.

[@markmingard6882]

So a lot of why I broke up with my ex was because of her job being stressful and an initial miscommunication that never got resolved. We were only together in an LDR for 3 months and I did a full month and a bit of no contact before reaching out and she replied but very briefly, I see it as a positive but am I best to wait until she quits her job (which she said she would) before really trying to talk to her, see her and get her back as I have properly bettered myself? Is this normal behaviour from her as most things I've seen/read suggest that mist exes reach out at somepoint?

[@ClayAndrews]

It might be normal behavior for her given that she had exhausted her own energies on something that doesn't give her happiness. When she had that time to rest, you can check where she is at emotionally and take things from there.

[@Centrifuze]

Sigh... Definitely getting these signs. The issue in my situation is that she's in school, and has openly admitted a couple times that she has a habit of losing herself in relationships. So, she's afraid of being with me because she thinks she might fail school when she's about to graduate in June.

[@whyumadblue5178]

Same thing I’m going thru

[@armandamagpayo9548]

Geez this is vice-versa ahhahahahahahha I am the one who got that 5 signs ahahhahahahahaha

[@premmy2696]

LOL ME TOOO ....

[@samdiego1023]

Me also.. lol

[@sanketzungare6553]

First she was resisting to be friends , but some how i managed to her to be friends, then said it is good to stay friends, we talk daily but only on movie stuff ,, what should I do next please help

[@Visionary_of_Love]

He did all of what you mentioned. But what can I do, I have to accept his choice and it's also difficult to know, if it is not just a game???

[@ClayAndrews]

Hilde, it is normal for him to have some =doubts and fears. This is where empathy and understanding that we talk about inside our course would come in. We have to understand where his fears are coming from and worries. Effective communication is needed.

[@rembrandtharienza9647]

Ex still bring up when we are still together when talking to our friends, i broke up with her when i found out that she is cheating

[@ClayAndrews]

I'm sorry to hear about this. How are you holding up so far? What's your plan now?

[@rembrandtharienza9647]

@@ClayAndrews im doing fine, still not going to contacting her

[@rembrandtharienza9647]

@@ClayAndrews its just im confused, why is she doing this?

[@DYoung2112]

For me feelings of love for someone could change within a matter of hours and a bottle of liquor could make feel as if I were in love with literally anyone.

[@melinatedvessel6840]

Lol..

[@ebonyloveyoup8833]

My name is Ebony and I have been dating my man for like 4 years but I did some on him like moved in with another man house because I was living with my mom who didn't like my man name Felton n I lived with her and stuff and I got tired of Felton not coming to get me out of that situation and he was like thats why he didn't let me meet his Family n he felt like I got peoples all in our business n I think he still loves me but scared

[@Iraqveteran-ke6qu]

What if she puts a restraining order on you but stalks your house?

[@barrydworak]

If I deserve to be loved for who I am, I deserve not to have to game stuff. The only way to win, is not to play.

[@ClayAndrews]

I agree on that. So we have to be aware of our personal values and be sure to keep that in check with the people we wanted to have in life.

[@mikey5848]

Clay, Is it common for both people to want eachother back and also both be to scared to make a move? Annother words, both are misserable after the breakup and neither person does anything about it.

[@jacobgonzalez5014]

In our heads not our souls

[@TylersN7owa]

Last week I met up with my ex and told me she doesn’t know if she still likes me then the next day she weared my jumper I’m not really good at signs so any suggestion

[@decapasane]

My ex did the same thing. She said that she doesnt want to be in a relationship but when I saw her she was wearing my boxers. Idk if she felt anything when putting those on or if she just wore it because they where easy to be put on.

[@gingygirl4638]

How long does this "scared to make a move" phase last? I've been doing this with my ex husband for over a year, and lately I'm growing impatient, and so I told him that I was going to hang out w a male friend tonight, and he became instantly agitated, and it turned in to a full blown argument where he blamed me for the past, was screaming into the phone, and got real ugly, I was crying, and although he has already apologized recently for everything he did, today he said he wasn't sorry, and blamed me yet again for everything. He loves spending time w me, calling and texting often, invites me to go places with he and our 3 toddlers, and helps me w anything I need, but will not make a move to try again, and gets nervous and backs away when I become super flirtatious w him. What do I do?

[@ClayAndrews]

There's no set to stone timeframe for that. Remember that gaining somebody's trust goes along with time as well.

[@rachellekuipers638]

And what if he was the one breaking up and you go on with your life and when he hears that you are with friends (also male friends) he gets extremely jealous and mad. And then blocks you on every way possible?

[@catherinelewzey5890]

Sounds like he’s hurting!! Which I’d see as a sign there’s still feelings x

[@amandaw6951]

What if it's like come here go away come here go away come here go away and this keeps repeating over a corc of years what does really mean is he just scaring himself

[@dimarysnieves2570]

All 5!!!!🤩🥳🥳

[@sandyt7225]

He tells me he loves. Sends me songs . says he is unhappy and lonely and we should talk doesn't show up.

[@latoyadykes5010]

Run, he's lying!!!

[@vincentteirlinck7590]

My ex is in a rebound and aligns with the situation you told in "sign 4". I believe she is afraid to break up with her rebound to get back with me. How do I make that "bridge" you were talking about ? After a few months we are back in contact over text. I began texting her.

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Vincent, making that "bridge" is something that you have to do in a process. that is not based on a scripted text or the way you would act to convince her to get back to you. That is why we cover that in details inside our course so you have to build a solid foundation through the Advanced Relational Skills. :-)

[@vincentteirlinck7590]

@@ClayAndrews Thank you ! I will certainly look in to these Advanced Relation Skills !

[@kwanzaagaston3630]

Hey Clay my wife of 8 years texted me and told me that I am thought of and loved even since we been separated for over a year. We still communicate occasionally. But she said she was unhappy to be married to me I give her space to clear her mind on things but she keeps giving me mix signals any advice would be greatly appreciated

[@mmt2310]

Update?

[@charlesyoung3287]

What should I do if we’ll talk and it’ll go well, but then when I asked her to hang out again she said that it wouldn’t be a good idea because she still has “conflicting feelings” for me. She apologized for giving me mixed signals. I think that the positive feelings are why she doesn’t want to meet because of how she might feel but I don’t know. How should I approach this? What can I do to have her want to hang out and meet with me more?

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Charles, it seems like she is having a positive pull back. It's better to respect her wishes, for now, to allow her to process what she feels. :-)

[@lolacookie453]

Agree give her some space for now without giving her attitude about it.

[@CrackSparrowGaming]

What if we havent spoken for a long time and she adds me on face book? Now a few days have passed and we hung out. She spent the night the first night, nothing happened but we hang out again the next day and did talk and both expresses interest in seeing where things go. How do i know when and if this is serious?

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi there, you would only know if you guys would talk about it. This is where your communication skills would come in. ;-)

[@CrackSparrowGaming]

@@ClayAndrews it worked out

[@stephaniedekinger2463]

So if he says, “That ship has sailed” that means he still loves me but scared?

[@reginaldsmith6949]

There are three main points to consider: - The length of your relationship - The reason for the breakup - The length of time you have been apart If you you've only been apart a few weeks to a few months, the love is probably still there. Of course, the reason for the split plays a critical role here. If he was deeply hurt by this and has had enough time to heal, chances are he has moved on. In either case, you must take this opportunity to reflect, admit your mistakes and shortcomings, and commit to self improvement.

[@evankolar8957]

I went 4 months into no contact. Then I had to contact her due to school reasons. She got back with me and said she was sorry about everything and I apologized for what happened from me as well. I asked her if there was any chance to try again and she said “we’ll see, but I want to start being friends again first” what does that mean exactly? Does that mean she will give it another chance or do I have no chance?

[@thomasrozmus7091]

You should have let her initiate the getting back together... You messed up. You’ve now given her the power. Tell her you don’t want anything with her unless you’re getting back together, then go no contact again.

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Evan, it seems like your ex is giving you that chance to prove yourself that you are worth the second chance. Being friends should be welcomed especially that she is open about it. From there, you can grow your connection and probably move forward.

[@evankolar8957]

Clay Andrews thank you so much for the advice, I really appreciate it. I believe right now she is possibly on step 2 or 3 in the “5 stages of getting back together” as she has seemed to be showing signs of hot and cold behavior. Although, thanks to you I know not to panic. But what exactly do I do while she is in the cold state? I’m pretty sure she is still talking with someone else right now and I know I shouldn’t bother her. But what should I do overall?

[@888ascension4]

I broke up with him because he didn't want to commit to moving in together after 2 years. We didn't have the most stable relationship and he said I never let him chase me when we started. 45 days no contact I called him and he didnt want to meetup. Then met up to pick up my bycicle from his place and i asked him if he was dating someone. He said he is seeing someone but nothing has happened. I told him that this time apart I saw all my mistakes and he said he did too and maybe we can work things out and he said we already tried! I said I love you he said I love you too but I'm not saying no to try maybe later... after that day we been talking in person (1) & phone because he is being helping to get a job. I told him to meet me up for dinner and talk over about the interview and he said no. I guess I need to take my distance or Keep contact?

[@ItsTruthBaby]

I think you should ease up and give him space to sort his feelings out. You are not letting him chase and come to you as he mentioned to you before. You offered to meet he declined. Let meeting and working on the relationship be his idea. He already know it's your idea but it has to be both of your idea.

[@888ascension4]

@@ItsTruthBaby you are right, I didn't want to accept the breakup but I think it is time to accept it and move on. I need to get out of the idea that we can fix the relationship as soon as possible. It might take a long time or maybe never. Thabk you for taking the time of replying 🙏

[@ItsTruthBaby]

@@888ascension4 you're welcome. You have to accept reality for what it is. No more or no less. It's all about what's healthy and realistic for you at this point.

[@MultiGemini617]

Hi clay! I have a question. He calls me everyday now and checks up to see how I’m doing and is genuinely interested and then he says “ okay I have to go have a goodnight “ should I continue this ? We started talking again on the 8th he doesn’t want an end goal but I want to take it day by day.

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi MultiGemini617, It seems like your interaction is doing well. Was there any particular reason for you to discontinue your interactions?

[@MultiGemini617]

Clay Andrews we broke up on Christmas, he went into a rebound and then reached out to me on the 28th of feb. we started talking but I’m making him initiate and he does tell me he doesn’t want an end goal. I think he’s scared. Every talk though I show how nice and fun I am. We went out twice this week and he kissed me twice. Yet he doesn’t want to hurt me if I have an end goal right now. So confused

[@cr4228]

He has to GO? BYE! AND, YOU DONT HAVE TO STAY WAITING AGAIN TO HEAR HIM SAY THAT TO YOU.

[@lolacookie453]

MultiGemini617 no end goal means he wants you as one of his many girls on rotation. No end goal means he doesn’t want exclusivity, commitment or marriage with you. He is living in the moment when with you as you are with him except I have a feeling you have an end goal ie commitment/marriage. Do you want to hurt now or do you want to hurt later? Point is, it’s going to hurt no need to prolong it. Leave him to his indecisiveness and live a full romance with someone more compatible! Good luck! 🙏🥰

[@Shiin-Ryu-K3n]

Me and my ex has had no contact for about 7yrs..and I broke the NC but she recently got out of a relationship. Should I give her time to heal after that relationship? Right now I wanna take it slow but it's hard

[@samopap3000]

Davis in my opinion I say u should act now and take it slow, because if u wait longer she will go with another guy.

[@williamdolan7189]

What if there is no rebound?

[@jaimeestrada9627]

She revealed all the gifts on her wall that I've gave her. It's been 5 months after the break up.

[@calisthenicsforlife1405]

man my heart is pure void for past months now and out of nowhere my ex says she's been talking to this guy for 7 hours I was like w.e but then she said it was some special and out of nowhere I'm getting jealous?? Like what?? I told myself I didn't care no more why am I getting jealous???😤

[@calisthenicsforlife1405]

nah the feeling fade lol a year in half of me holding on to it was dumb lol um thanks doe

[@emartinezr]

My future ex-wife says she loves me, with all her heart. AND does all these 5 😱 but still says she doesn't know what's going to happen with us. We've been separated for 3.5months already, have 2 kids and were a very close family. WTF.

[@ClayAndrews]

I'm sorry to hear about the separation and we understand that this must be an adjustment for you. We hope that you are holding on well. It looks like you are having progress. But based on your story, it sounds like you may need to work on consistency and building more positive connection with her to show to her that she won't be going back to the old dynamics of the relationship that lead to the separation.

[@bradleybohm6685]

My wife left me after 7 years together and moved in with another man and woman. Theres not been a day we havent talked but says she still loves me but not in love with me calls everytime shes not around them and if she txts me while around them wont tell me she loves me but in person does tell me she loves me and on phone. Will hug me but no other affection. Comes over and hangs out for a few minutes after she gets off work. Still tells me personal things that's happening with her. I need some advice from you clay

[@donaldfrench3696]

Bradley Bohm the best thing I found is a book “I love you, but I am not in love you”.

[@bradleybohm6685]

@@donaldfrench3696 thanks

[@OmgAuntySuzanne16]

If he’s scared ! I’m out anyway! I don’t do eggshells !

[@evansullivan9400]

What about a new relationship like 3-6 months that’s started off sorta long distance? We’re from the same place she moved away and it got hot and heavy she came to town to see me . I Accidentally made a comment to be exclusive, and it ended everything... but she’s moving back to town in two weeks

[@ClayAndrews]

You need to be aligned first with where she is at emotionally. You can reconnect when she moves back.

[@lolacookie453]

Evan Sullivan how did you bring up exclusivity? What did you say that scared her off according to you?

[@sandyt7225]

Been trying to contact u

[@mxsharkgang3246]

My breakup was 3 months ago. I went NC & he broke after my 30 day phase. I replied with a statement. "I'm good. Been busy. Have a good day" he replied & then I gave another statement, then he disappeared as I expected. 2/3 weeks passed & he texted again on Tuesday. Just the basic how are you. Im so confused. There was a 3rd party situation & he basically gave up on our relationship to get back with her. Lately I worked on myself during this time. I'm starting to feel better. I wanna respond but at the same time I scard too. We never had any issues during the relationship. It was great. Things didn't unfold until after the split. I still love him but I keep going back to why he broke up with me & said he was gonna concentrate on that. I feel like hes trying to string me along. This traumatized me mentally. I wanna respond but I'm not ready emotionally. Hes not giving me any hints so it's a possibility he'll never wanna be back together again. You think I should give myself more time & continue nc clay? This is all so fresh & it's been bothering me. I shouldn't let it tbh. I'm just still hurt by it all. I dont understand what hes trying to do still

[@giftless5396]

Hello friends do you need help??

[@giftless5396]

+=2=3=4=7=0=4=2=9=0=1=0=0=5=

[@tammyherron9027]

Ok tell me why does my ex ask my daughter is mum with some one she said no he ask when he texts me is there someone at your house I say no wht does this mean

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Tammy, I am not sure but if we take it in a grain of salt, it sounds like he wanted to really verify if there's someone in your house.

[@tammyherron9027]

Clay Andrews can u pls tell me why we keep sleeping together pls it’s been 4 years and 7 mths now does this mean he still cares about me or even still loves me may I have your opinion pls

[@jeremymanis2044]

Hey I was seeing this girl and the more time we spent together the more and more I fell for her and I told her how I felt about 4 mths ago and we still talk alot but I haven't got to see her on so long im about to lose hope and I really want to be with her. There's nobody else like her and the first 4 months was perfect then boom she got distant and started ignoring me more and more so I quit trying to talk to her and she told me she wanted yo make plans to see each other but never made an attempt I tried to go see her and she all of a sudden had to go to er.. im losing her, can u help me I think I know what im doing wrong but I can't tell if it is worth it or if I should severe this cord that's pulling me down. I feel like a helpless kid but I know I am worth more and deserve better but I want her I want things the way they were before she lost intrest, is there a y hope for me or should I just tell her to bite me?? 😂 jk

[@jeremymanis2044]

I am 100% honest with her because I want to build up her trust in me but I think she don't know how to feel or if im just saying stuff to make her like me, first of all she liked me anyways so there's no need to tell her anything but how I feel and I never lied about anything and I think it scares her because she finally met someone serious about the future together? Idk she is different than other girls, I can't seem to walk away from her and i have the worst need to see her but it's been almost 3 months since I seen her. I think there is someone else but that's cool I just don't want her to think it's all or nothing because I need this girl in my life, I can't explain why because Idk why tbh lol. Im a mess lol

[@YasminMahnaz]

Move on.. she'd not for u.. it was perfect for u.. not her.. hence distant.. why do u want someone that wants someone else or is always looking elsewhere ?

[@girlinthebox]

Sign 1: yes Sign: 2: yes Sign 3: he wanted to hang out but due to covid i could not (long distance) but other than that yes. Sign 4: nope. i dont think so. Sign 5: idk if this counts but whenever this topic comes up, he says "i cant be together with you, nope, not with me because you were the one who left me. i wasnt the one who left". the thing is we never officially broke up back then but due to my psychological problems i couldnt solve at that time, i "cancelled" our marriage shortly before our planned date. i am still not over him since it is mostly my fault and i am hopelessly watching these videos for a little hope.

[@girlinthebox]

OMG WAIT. He is talking with me, asking to hang out, calls me but he also suddenly tells me out of nowhere "oh we are doing this but please dont get your hopes up for us ok?" this once happened even 3 times in one single call even though i said to him "I KNOW, you dont have to remind me and you dont have to worry about me chasing you since i clearly know you dont want me anymore in that way". he still continues to add that sentence here and there.

[@julielopez850]

@@girlintheboxany update bc he keeps reminding me we ain’t ever getting back together

[@darceysaffron-marygetty9626]

He mentioned that I’m on a dating app but laughed is that him acting jealous but brushing it off by laughing?

[@danieldavis1558]

It's obvious you're doing it to make him jealous. Stop playing around. Dating apps, get off all them completely. He laughs because he sees right through it. It's obvious you want him back. Work it out.

[@ryancollins5903]

My ex aggrees to hang out regularly but will not initiate contact. Should I not contact her in between hangouts? I was distant and neglectful in the relationship.

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi @ryan, what holds you back from keeping a positive interaction with her?

[@hennylau8681]

I do experience the same thing and did the same thing (being neglectful and distant during relationship). I am still reaching out to him and he replies (hot and cold) and I feel sad sometimes. What should i do clay?

[@ClayAndrews]

@@hennylau8681 Check how you are connecting to him emotionally. Meeting personally doesn't always mean that the connection is getting deeper or growing.

[@ryancollins5903]

@@ClayAndrews i Guess i feel like the more I text her about surface level topics, the more tight lipped she gets and I push her away. We have been getting progressively more emotional in person though.

[@ryancollins5903]

@@hennylau8681 I would try to sneak in more emotional topics when you hang out irl. Ask him about any personal hardship he might be going through and be as empathetic as possible. Tell him about a time since the break up when he did something for you that meant a lot to you. But do not mention your prior relationship, you're just friends

[@kanika9995]

Very silent,police presence and the underworld..dissapeared 4 months now 🤷‍♀️

[@aryahahamad8534]

Me and my ex are best friends and text everyday. Does that mean he still likes me?

[@ClayAndrews]

It depends on what level of "like" you are referring to. It might be like as a friend or like in a romantic level. Texting everyday may not be a guaranteed measurement if we like the person romantically. but it can be that the connection is present.

[@jbarkl3y]

My ex doesmt realize what's she has. She doesnt know what she wants. Used an excuse to break up. She wa.ted me to wait for 2 years for her work on herself. Low amd behold she was seeing someone elese. She kept pushing me away.. slowly getti g no contact unless I reached out. I got so hurt I said mean things I regret saying but they were true. I worked so hard over 2 yeats building her up. Helping her grow as a person. I think in time she will cone back cause it's her pattern. But I'm begging to feel like a fall back. She runs when. We disagree on something. No compromise at all.

[@lolacookie453]

JAY BARKLEY what mean things did you say?

[@Chrissybell1210]

Clay but how do we know an ex still loves us or just wants sex how to tell because they're not gonna come out blatantly and say "Hey, listen I don't love u anymore and don't want u back but I do miss the sex" Lol so how can a person tell if the ex is being genuine or just faking to get what he or she wants 🤔

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Christine, if both of you are not in a committed relationship, set boundaries as much as possible (including sex). If he really loves you, he would respect your personal values and boundaries as well.

[@lolacookie453]

Christine Negron agree don’t give him your body until he brings up exclusivity/commitment. If all you want is a situationship then go for it.

[@prettyk6845]

Even me ex is back, we separated 7yrs ago... Now is back buh am talking with him as afrd

[@topgunner1962]

No signs..... because she hasn't said one word to me since breaking up with me 9 months ago after 3 years together

[@bellaxx3542]

Maybe she’s still waiting for you to text her first, sometimes girls are shy to start texting especially after a breakup...🤷🏼‍♀️

[@IncredibleMay]

He didn't ask me if I'm seeing someone else.. but he told me that I can date anyone I can..and he still talks sometimes.. but doenst want to recommit.. so what should I do

[@melinatedvessel6840]

Just move on with your life.. If a man can be ok with you off with another man he most likely isn't the man for you or that even deserves you.

[@IncredibleMay]

@@melinatedvessel6840 your probably right... It's hard to let him go like this.. 😭 I'm gonna focus on myself from now on..thanks for the advice ..you are really sweet❤️

[@IncredibleMay]

@@peggydickson4431 I dunno ...im having a hard time ..letting him go.. I dunno if I want him back or not... 😭

[@IncredibleMay]

@@peggydickson4431 he did contact me today..

[@IncredibleMay]

@@peggydickson4431 I guess so... He apologized to me ..and I forgave him..

[@sergiomedina2328]

My ex girlfriend or the girl i was dating dump me because I reminded her of her ex I told her she was the worst girl i meant she wasting my time n why did I had to meet her. I said all these because she invited me to hotel i got her dinner watch movie, no sex she was not ready but after we watch the last movie she told me to leave the hotel. Am like its 1Am can n stay here she said no so I kept saying why not. Then she said ok fine stay but with a mad face. I left the hotel pissed i send all o Now she says I use verbal abuse against her and that am just like her ex What should I do

[@jerryjean5562]

+..2..3..4..8..1..3..7..8..6..2..8..4..3..

[@jerryjean5562]

He will help you

[@mari-ql1on]

My ex said he's rejecting his feelings for me so he can be eith this other girl cause he said he doesn't wanna be with her until he loses feelings for me and he said that he isn't risking it with me..please help i really want him back..

[@ClayAndrews]

Hi Audrey, It sounds like he is trying to deny his emotions for you and displaces this to his new relationship. Will you be in acceptance with your ex's decision for now?

[@mari-ql1on]

@@ClayAndrews hey do you think i can win him back..? He just blocked me for this girl i really love him..please reply..

[@mari-ql1on]

@@ClayAndrews also he really likes this girl..i'll explain mire if you'd answer but he thinks her obsession with hello kitty is cute and that her taking care for her brother is attractive..also he thinks her insecurity are cute i don't think he'd miss me cause 90% of our relationship is bad tho i hope he miss me or realize he wants me more..but it sounds like a wishful thinking does it not..

[@mari-ql1on]

@@ClayAndrews i'm scared he'd lose feelings for me and fall deeper for her..

[@robertswift6101]

he is with someone else now,,,move on with your life and start living it...it was just your turn

[@thefranglaisetouch109]

Interesting

[@excellenthealthglobal5386]

Still i love you soooooooo much ♥❤ and you are mothers of daughters i will not hurt you come back soon i am ready to any type of commitment

[@jacobgonzalez5014]

We best friends

[@dottiegeary9065]

What about my feelings. Hanging out again as friends. That's so hard for me.i owned up to all my faults, he has not, all my fault that we broke up. He said he needs to trust me again not to be the same. Im afraid he'll be the same also

[@ClayAndrews]

I agree with you that change has to be for both parties. But you need to initiate the changes in yourself so you can inspire him to work on himself in the future.

[@tchaney3777]

Don’t send paragraphs and try to limit overthinking. Do not repeat yourself or explain. Just fill your time with what you enjoy. :-)

[@dream11paradise60]

Don't give me.hope

[@gabrielomollo1716]

My ex is dating another man and she is pregnant for him....is there possibly of getting her back?

[@ClayAndrews]

It really depends given the situation might be different now as she is pregnant with another man.

[@bernardolorenzo7969]

Do you want her back?

[@bernardolorenzo7969]

Do you want her back?

[@Daringloki]

She keeps talking to me every two to three months in this whole year it started in April and then in July she contacts me again and then not long after that middle of August she contacts me again then after that October she calls and asked me if I still like her I said yes then after that this is November she asked me can I get you my friend I don't even know what that means

[@robertswift6101]

go no contact,stop wasting time on her

[@Daringloki]

@@robertswift6101 I'm doing that I'm not wasting my time on her

[@lynncuthbert2307]

Love can't be faked. Women know. Lust took over. My Mum knew that years ago. MEN will never change.

[@ClayAndrews]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts regarding the matter, Lynn. Truly appreciated. :-)

[@danielgallo4587]

What about NC signs? Not covered here

[@ClayAndrews]

Are you talking about an ex's behavior during NC?

[@swampityswamp]

@@ClayAndrews ooh I really need a video about that :(

[@johngreen9762]

None outta 5 isnt too bad lol

[@casperincityboy867]

My ex added my friends on fb after i posted a pic of me and a new girl dating on my ig story & her best friend also unfollow me lol

[@sevastiencamilleri9594]

How does this know so much about women ?

[@champagneblewupthestars]

He drunk dialed me and told me about his 7day vacation to three places with his kids and girlfriend... then he said he loves me, he likes me, he wonders if we could be together again someday..... Then two days later he says we can’t talk because he loves his girlfriend.... Idk if he’s scared or just pyscologically abusing me at this point.....

[@champagneblewupthestars]

Joshua Daniel I don’t see why I should if he loves his girlfriend he’s been with her for 7 months and chooses her every day.....

[@champagneblewupthestars]

Joshua Daniel I tried to be his friend but it’s not working we only talk when he wants to he tells me he loves me and then is cold and loves her....I don’t even know if I can forgive him anymore he let us die 😓 and replaced me in three weeks...I’m still suffering from depression...... I’m out of damage control mode but I’m still broken

[@champagneblewupthestars]

I didn’t want to give up but the fact that he’s been with her for 7months and says he loves her makes me feel like I have no choice....plus he’s doing a bunch of things with her that he never did for me...and he thinks I want to know about it? it’s the worst feeling in the world.... he won’t let me go on when I don’t write him he writes me sometimes brags sometimes antagonizes sometimes says he he loves me but he won’t come back either....I had to block him because He’s still causing me turmoil even though HE let us die

[@excellenthealthglobal5386]

Still you are ultimate love for me