5 Things Confident Women Do to Win the Men of Their Choice

[@mlovely9829]

Looks do matter. People can talk all day but you have to work on yourself if there are things you need to work on.

[@lizziej10181]

Ladies I am 44 and single and get hit on 24/7. #1 is very important. Don’t slouch sit up straight put some lipstick and a sexy outfit and raise your standards!

[@hadiyahW]

I want to say “Thank You!!” for addressing the topic of going out with a man just for a different experience other than with our girlfriends. I feel that we (single women who are interested in a committed relationship) get caught up with the ending results of getting married. I love to eat, smile, and have in-depth conversations, however, I don’t talk about marriage and kids the first date. I say have fun and be yourself...No Pressure ladies 💖

[@monicajohnson8978]

Why am I just now seeing your videos for the first time??!! I thought I was only going to watch one video, but I ended up watching 5. I had to make myself stop. I had to subscribe. Thank you so much for your insight.

[@QueenAlita]

Ditto

[@hashelliott3804]

This has me in tears because I need so much help. Thank you Monique.

[@lysetteloreto4641]

No fail relationship just lessons

[@mzdorothyjm]

Everything you said in this video is so true.But it's a lot of men that love a woman natural beauty.Because for myself I always had confidence in myself.And that's what draws men to me.And my past relationships has made me stronger.God has sent a man to me that love me for me.And love my confidence and we support each other in everything that has our relationship strong

[@brittanyjones1628]

This video is so helpful! Thanks for empowering women !! U rock !!!

[@lindamoore9081]

Love self so someone else can love you just as you can love them #confidence #lookgood and #feelgood! Great video sis, i don’t understand who would dislike this video

[@RainbowInBloom]

"..resign ourselves to a certain way of being." OMG You talk just like me. LOL This is the second time I've heard you talk about the way of being. It's so important to have that self-awareness to see how we're getting in our own way, which then enables us to get ourselves on the right track. Kate Spade's (RIP) aesthetic speaks to me as well. My set has a lot of gold polka dots and black and white stripes, the lamp is KS. ANYWAY I agree with everything you said and I really appreciate your trainings.

[@ResiaHeavensent]

I am soooo happy that I found your channel... You are such a blessing! :) Thank you! for sharing your gifts with us .

[@missitzel2058]

Thank you 🥺you give me hope.. your videos are helping me get through a lot of my own issues… 🙏🏼💗 thank you 🫶🏼

[@FEMININEINFLUENCE]

I’m glad to hear it’s serving you.

[@shaneekcarey7395]

If I love this one more time, very eye opening and empowering, thanks Monique

[@breannabishop9]

Omg I love you! It is such a blessing that I found your channel.

[@Futurebams]

This is wonderful thank you ❤️

[@redsummerwings]

This is the first video I watched from you... And I've to say, you make attracting men sound fun, and I need that. You've a new subscriber ☺ Keep making 'em videos!

[@pattycake9856]

Your hair styles are always on point, love your advise. God bless

I this video, love the message as usual! But, can you please tell me what’s on your lips?? It’s absolutely beautiful! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🌷🌹

[@GS-st9ns]

A woman should behave naturally. If it doesn't come naturally I don't do it. I was raised well by a beautiful mother and a beautiful father I'm smart and funny I'm happy and if that doesn't attract a man it doesn't matter whether it's five things or a hundred things it isn't right for me.

[@reginatielrooy4073]

I am very thankful to listen to your utube today. It's wonderful and filled with great directions. A great gift of learning to be that valuable, high value woman. I am single and very selective and learning to meet my happily ever after😀Thank you Monique!

[@catmo59]

I really feel that femininity been lost with many women. My single but looking step brother is 29 and he said he used to like to go to church to see ladies in dresses and dressed up but now all the women dress like dudes. Sure enough the young lady that he started dating was very feminine and even if she wore pants she had on heels and looked pretty. Sorry ladies but that's still what men still like.

[@suave_d]

You're right. A woman who dresses in a feminine fashion; is soft-spoken; in shape; has a nice, easy-going personality; and is not stuck-up, will always get my attention. Femininity is such a beautiful quality in a lady.

[@DarkAries76]

Someone commented on one of Chrissie's videos about how some black women are afraid to be feminine because they didn't want to be a target of sexual harassment or assault. Like being more masculine is a way of "protecting" herself. Of course this would depend on what area you live in. Nothing wrong with being soft and feminine but it might be taking a risk in a rough hood or city.

[@suave_d]

But appearing more masculine is also risky because a traditional guy like myself will NOT give a non-feminine woman the time of day. I'm just being honest. It is out of natural order for a woman to act (or appear) masculine. If she resides in a rough part of town, then consider investing in protection -- but don't lose your femininity in the process.

[@DawnnAyeshaVance]

catmo59 my husband doesn’t like heels neither do I

[@DawnnAyeshaVance]

suaved you sound crazy

[@swandacornish6041]

Excellent advice!!

[@78vette11]

It all seems so complicated to me. I've been in school getting a masters degree for the past 2yrs so i have been in the school mode. I'll be finished with school next week and i don't know where to start with dating again. Where do I start? Im going to be volunteering at the African American museum in DC just to get out of the house & start living again

[@dee8203]

How's it going?

[@fhodge26]

Amazing advice and you are very pretty!

[@angeliquep8391]

This is a great video to hear. Once again it confirms that I am doing everything right for myself to attract a certain type of man that will share the same interest as I. However when men from my past who are not at my level try to intrude and sabotage my current relationship it can be a little difficult for the man I'm dating to cope with these situations.

[@keannaa3011]

Two thumbs up-I really enjoyed! You have a new Subbie💅🏽

[@jessicagweh1027]

I like your videos; they're informative and educative. Thanks for sharing. I'll really like to know more on the 5th tip- creating emotional tension. Unable to book so can I email instead?

[@ChaleykiOnline]

Please speak on what to do when dating and going out with men, allowing them to pay on the date and finding you actually dont like him. And also how to proceed to feel and act towards him. Thanks!

[@ChaleykiOnline]

Adriana Langford yeah ! Thats a great idea, thanks for the input ☺

[@staceykersting705]

A good cup of coffee to go and a walk in a beautiful park is a $ saver and u can bow out without guilt in a short time....

[@carlmiller369]

Chaleyki Leshauna hence the reason all men should demand going DUTCH. If it works out fine, say not, then that’s fine too.

[@staceykersting705]

Adriana Langford....EXACTLY! Go out for a coffee. Whoever asked should buy. Then, if the one who's being 'treated' to coffee can buy a cookie or something just to show a bit of class/ reciprocity, of course! Always contribute generously...who wants to be around a cheapskate. If a guy buys me dinner, I'll always pay for a couple rounds of drinks. If u aren't having drinks, leave a generous tip.

[@101candlelight6]

Two thumbs up for this video Monique

[@rebeccaschwartz3475]

I love you, and cannot wait to schedule a call with you in June!

[@leoloveangel1780]

Thank you for your wonderful videos

[@ColaBaby888]

What a man said to me the other day really messed me up. He said a man can wine and dine me and still take the cookie and leave. So if I'm worried that he would take the cookie the first time a leave it really makes no difference between the 2 scenarios. I agree because there are some guys who will talk with you and do all the things you want to do, especially if the dates are cheap, just to get into your pants. Have a 1 night/2 night/3 night/or x amount of night stands and not be mentally at the point/see a potential future with you. Another thing he said was that many men/women want the marriage/house/kids/business/money. It's the dream but in a relationship you just need to go with the flow. I am so convicted in my spirit. Now I feel like if a man is taking me out then he is trying to pay his way into my underwear. I don't mean to sound negative, but from experience I'm wondering if lowering my standards to going on cheaper dates then was setting myself up for a man who potential could not provide for a family. 🤷🏽‍♀️ One more thing. If I am not attractive/interested in a man but he is and wants to take me out sometime then would it be wrong to date him? I just want to go on the date for the conversation even if I don't think the relationship will go anywhere. I just want to appreciate that this man had the courage to ask me out. I sort of want to make his day and exchange an intellectual conversation.

[@staceykersting705]

I think it's fine to accept a date, as long as u don't let him throw down too much money. If u go out for lunch, rather than dinner, for instance. I always thank him profusely n leave a good tip.

[@sherrita8582]

Thank u,Monique,perfect outline💙

[@FlinOshun]

I really like your videos. 😇

[@kimora7964]

WOW I LOVE THIS HAIRSTYLE ON U ..DEFINITELY YOU! GOOD VID TOO

[@SReisAuthor]

Great video!

[@mlovely9829]

Hey Monique. You are 100% on point

[@shanikaanderson5599]

Im a new subbie and I wanted to get your thoughts on a few subjects and forgive me if you’ve covered them already. I agree on being feminine and owning that. My first problem is when I dress up, men don’t approach me. They stare and look but never approach. They seem very intimidated which is very frustrating because I’m no one to approach a man. I’m too hesitant to do that. I don’t think it’s in my blood. Second, when I dress down I only get less desirable men hitting on me. I hate to put it that way, it’s just men that clearly don’t have much doing on in their lives. Thirdly, when I dye actually end up on a date with a man that I’m interested in, he immediately believes that I should sleep with him on the first date. That seems like a pattern that men have adopted in this day and them being used to women allowing them to be intimate before getting to know each other. I find it to be a struggle. I want to do right by the Lord and do right by me in the next man I get involved with but from where I stand it seems damn near impossible. I apologize, I’m all over the place with this one. I’m 36 and I’ve dated for the last 20 years and I can’t say that I’m happy with my past choices in the men I’ve dated. I fear repeating the same mistakes and fear only attracting certain type of men that I’m not interested in.

[@beautyandpositivity1343]

Shanik Anderson: When you get frustrated or if you lose hope along the way, don’t settle for sex (esp if that’s not all you want). Don’t give in to sex when what you desire is a soul to soul connection. Your husband is out there. You don’t have to sleep with anyone who isn’t him. Enjoy a date for what it is - an opportunity to have fun & get better acquainted with someone who might be your husband; a date is also an opportunity to make a friendship connection with someone who isn’t “the one”. Your husband will love knowing that his wife isn’t easy. No other man’s expectations matter. And then too, pray about these things. Husbands come along when we are truly happy with ourselves, and realize that we are the prize. Your husband will see you as such. Take care ❤️

[@tmcdougal6725]

👏 What she said!

[@RealSyn]

I find self in that same boat. They'll always keep their distance and stare ,but never approach me

[@JezaLoki]

Two things: the men that don’t approach usually believe in total gender equality. That’s a good quality in a man. They see you as equals and not just some object to be picked up. They want you to know that they believe you are a capable, independently minded adult who will approach a man if they so choose. Second thing: the message is being driven into us that women do not want to be approached. Men and boys are being taught that it’s creepy at best and sexual harassment at worst. What man would risk everything they’ve worked for by a sexual harassment accusation? It’s sad, so I’m sorry to say it’s a real concern in today’s society. My advice: stop wasting your own precious time and just go after the man you want. Good luck.

[@78vette11]

Beautyand Positivity I look at bad dates this way: A bad date reinforces what I DONT want!!!

[@ColaBaby888]

When you dated/courted a man that didn't end up working out did you keep them as a friend? Would you recommend keeping them as a friend or blocking them out of your life?

[@ColaBaby888]

I have a fear of meeting up with strangers/man. How do I get over the fear of dating online?

[@staceykersting705]

Meet in public n take your own car. If u meet in the evening, have a coupla friends be at the same place, a coupla tables away. Have them follow u out, in case the parking lot's dark or out back. Think of everything you'd tell your daughter about safety, and do itall for yourself. Your date, of course, doesn't have to know any thing about you being 'chaperoned'. If u do meet a man alone, or are dining alone, never hesitate to ask a staff person to be escorted to your car.

[@staceykersting705]

@GG T87 We all need to know this. I don't know why we don't learn it in junior high! Always be aware of your safety. Don't walk close to vans or other 'sketchy looking vehicles, etc. If u arrive home at night, be on your phone before u exit your vehicle and stay on it til u enter your house. Be sure the other person knows u just got home, so someone knows your location.

[@abellebass3980]

Is it wrong to intentionally not accept help from someone that you're not intrested in? Meaning like, a gentleman who likes you and tries to show it but you don't want to give him ammo to keep on pursuing ? Or should we as women embrace all (appropriate) masculine energy? To clarify, when gentleman has been told that he can be not more than a friend AND boundaries are in place.

[@vanessanelson6140]

Love this

[@aquafina6544]

Why do we have to wear make up to appear put together or high value?ive never liked make up on me. I dont feel like the time and money it demands is worth my time. I used to be easy on the eyes but guys only saw sex bcus of my full shapely figure. Males nowadays DON'T WANT TO DATE OR TAKE US ON DATES!

[@beautyandpositivity1343]

aqua fina: Men don’t like “to be taken” or feel as though women are using them for money, meals, dates (without any intention of giving the guy a real shot at love or connection). They don’t have a lot of extra/ expendable cash to spend on tens of women, BUT once a connection has been made & a guy knows that he’s actually liked & has a chance of meaning something to a woman, he’ll happily shower a woman with outings, quality time, and gestures of appreciation & affection. We just have to give them something to appreciate & show affection to them - I think this “alluring femininity” is the gift we can give to the one who matters & he’ll certainly respond in kind. I think we have to ask ourselves (not only what does a quality man look like & do, but...) What does a quality man’s wife look like? How does a quality man’s wife operate? Looks aren’t everything, but if men are expected to accept & comply with our desire for provision, we can accept their need for visual stimulation - and we can pique their visual interest subtly & with class. Of course, some are simply not ready or looking for a serious relationship; don’t even consider anyone who doesn’t desire you in the way you hope to be desired. Just thinking out loud... Take care.

[@aquafina6544]

Beautyand Positivity, i disagree! Once you give into that cheap crap you're stuck with bn treated cheap. Dates dont have to cost MONEY just time and if he dosent have that, he shouldnt be dating! Nowadays men want tge milk and the cow for free! Ive had so many guys dismiss me bcus i dont do 1st 2nd or 3rd dates at my home or his home. All that you stated are excuses men have used to keep from bn accountable on a dates! Sorry, im not buying that crap. They want us to look like models dress like porn stars and they come with NOTHING! I am tired of accommodating lazy men who have been coddled by misinformed females. Its game sweetheart all game.

[@beautyandpositivity1343]

aqua fina: I agree. Dates don’t have to be expensive. I also believe in accountability. I wasn’t relaying any excuses told to me (happily married over 40). I have never been made to feel like a guy couldn’t or wouldn’t show kindness or generosity. I base my comments on my experiences. And I feel you; you’ve based yours on your experiences. No judgement. No disrespect coming from me. I was really sharing what happens when a person meets “the one”. For me, nobody else matters. For me being wined & dined was pointless if I knew there was no connection. And I, like you, was never interested in intimate settings before intimacy was established.

[@aquafina6544]

Beautyand Positivity, yass thats what im saying..50yrs ago guys wantwd marriage and dated with purpose. Now, were stuck in the information age where ppl are sending nudes on phones, online dating has become creep havens, even christain mingle, men dont have to be men bcus they know we out number them and that there are 10 more waiting just to be lied to. Long gone are courtships and dating to get to know one another. Men would rather get quick sex and hang with they're buddies, xbox, and troll fb, IG, and dating sites for social interactions than be committed and responsible mature men.. most dates ate free..a walk in a park or watch a local high school or little league sports event. Go to a library, have a cup of tea, volunteer at a soup kitchen etc.. but they dont and wont do it bcus there are so many females out here going gor the okee dokee wham bam game. I meant no disrespect. Kudos you got yours before they became extinct. God help the rest of us left with the crumbs with no substance.

[@beautyandpositivity1343]

aqua fina: Just to clarify, I meant that I was over 40, not married for 40 years (but hey, that’s the goal 😁 - 12 years for us). Anyway, I still feel you. I understand that the times, social mores, and norms have changed. BUT you only need one who’s right for you, and I believe he’s out there - willing & able to be chivalrous, manly, supportive, and kind. I feel like Monique’s channel is great at clarifying what will appeal to a quality man. I understand the frustration though. Every woman has been frustrated during her wait time, but it passes, and things work out. You’re right, the masses won’t make your cut, but one will ❤️ And when males become men (no matter the time), they start developing a taste and need for quality womanhood & femininity - as far as I can tell. Again, it’s only one perspective. God bless.

[@jeanpaul8220]

good stuff!

[@elizabethc3467]

Thank you❤️

[@kakafaiza9722]

How do I join the academy?

[@sagenosnibor9173]

LOVE THIS

[@budgetrebelgoals]

Awesome! !thanks !!

[@diamondunicorn2421]

The candle example is the truth! Why but something that's plain and has no scent? Or an unattractive color or appearance. Makeup, perfume and dress enhances your appearance but it shouldn't dominant it

[@nyarmusa1361]

Package, position, promotion.

[@katerivera1959]

what do you mean?

[@larad100]

Exactly

[@emilynunez5549]

Tell them your expectations from the first date.

[@naaa0015]

Excellent!

[@fitandequipped]

on point!

[@jongoldsby]

Nice men desire nice women

[@troypage5994]

I have learned to be comfortable with solitude and being single. I am not into makeup, going to the hairdresser and sexy, formfitting clothes. I am not looking to escaping my life. I have never felt the need to have validation of my worth from men or women. I have tried being feminine with my physical appearance and it's just not me. I feel like a phoney and not my true self. God bless those who can. Furthermore m, I feel that you have to play far too many games to be in a relationships. Its ridiculous.

[@Serenityafterall]

I'll Be Back ❗❗❗ 💮

[@DaijaDolly]

This may sound weird, but what if you dont know any men? Like at all? Lol

[@DaijaDolly]

fresh 123 no i mean literally if you dont know any men. Like male friends etc, no social group to open you up to meeting men in general.

[@nicoleapril5172]

dbprincess4ever go where men are, basketball courts, casino, college, support groups. Be friendly, look beautiful

[@DaijaDolly]

Toni Peterson i agree, ive been trying. I dont have a group of girlfriends to go with me anymore (after college most returned to their home). Socializing seems more difficult now that im post grad. I spent my college years in a relationship and now that they are both over(undergrad and the relationship) my social life went down the drain lol

[@JoannaCubana]

dbprincess4ever Have you tried the organization called "Meetup?" They have groups for almost every interest. Go to their website...

[@porschehamilton9717]

Hmmmm I wonder if im single because I don't wear heels or like anything girly🤔🤔

[@frandalanesaruff9796]

Porsche Hamilton I'm a gym rat. Love leggings and sports bras. Now when i dress up i dress up. But I'm a tom boy by nature

[@catmo59]

Try dressing up for a month and report back to us if there was a difference

[@Gigilovehugs]

Sounds like a lot of work I need help with getting a man

[@liqueglosslondon8315]

Have him call me... lady C!!!

[@nicoleapril5172]

LiqueGloss London old fashioned, name you like that signifies beauty like "Violet, rose, cookie, etc

[@westcoastsands]

You're so beautiful.

[@keshnadonia]

Hey hey why not keep the old link and redirect to your new site? I know off topic. But you have so many videos with the old website.

[@mssunshine8024]

Very pretty

[@DebraCTrialByFireProductions]

I want to look good but no matter what, I have no desire to allow any type of man to touch or talk to me. I am happy with God and Jesus as my men in my life.

[@staceykersting705]

Oh, dear!

[@divifemtv]

Ok, then this video is not for you dear...

[@adj5767]

Oh wounded soul....

[@TheDuxchess]

I am so A...or was!

[@beautifulbeginningslove7671]

Bless you always i hope in Jesus name amen

[@1grandadventure37]

He's waiting until 40s to find a wife. All woman can't have children in their 40s ;the black community waits too long to make choices.

[@troypage5994]

I thiught men were supposed to win over women, not the other way around.

[@humblewolf2474]

Women learn to see potential in a man else self-sabotage

[@staceykersting705]

A lot of guys have the potential. What counts is a guy who's willing and in process of MAXIMIZING that potential! I've met plenty of talented and intelligent deadbeats! Just resting on their laurels...lol

[@humblewolf2474]

Stop reflecting be a temple, I'm a dating coach

[@staceykersting705]

U may have used the word 'reflecting' incorrectly...did u mean projecting? as a dating coach, u should know exactly what I'm talking about...so many gifted guys not doin' a thing with their talents!

[@humblewolf2474]

"so many gifted guys not doin' a thing with their talents." why I made a video How to be a man, check it out I'm new

[@adj5767]

@@humblewolf2474 talk to them first. Women instinctively know what tp do when all else is in place.

[@toddspratt4467]

You can't define me.

[@bethwatkins1636]

talking way to fast so can not listen to you