5 Ways to Improve Your Communication with your Partner | Respect | Listen | Compromise | Control

00:00 Introduction
00:43 Definition
01:19 Listen to Understand and not to Reply
03:18 Control Your Emotions
06:00 Treat your Partner with RESPECT
07:53 Work Towards a SOLUTION not just Win
10:28 Think Before You Speak!
The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage, Susan Heitler
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Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Roger Fisher
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Emotional Wellness Journal: Explore Your Thoughts, Feelings and Triggers, Rayna Piazza
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Communication is about expressing yourself in a healthy way, listening to your partner when they are doing the same, and really hearing and absorbing what the other person has to say is vital.
1.Listen to Understand not to Reply.
Listening to reply is the standard way that most people communicate. What that means is that instead of really paying attention to what the other person is saying, you are already thinking about what you want to say in response.
Of course it’s great to have a well-thought-out reply, but if you’re thinking about what you want to say instead of hearing what the other person is saying, you aren’t really listening and communicating well.
You may be getting your point across - or not, if the other person listens the same way you do - but you’re not having a meaningful interaction with the other person.
What “Listening to Understand” Looks Like
Pay attention. When someone is talking to you, look at them. Notice their eye contact and body language. Take in their tone of voice as well as what they are actually saying. Really listen.
Listen with your body. Turn toward the person who is talking, lean in, and make them feel listened to because you really are listening.
Don’t interrupt. The best way to make someone feel like they are not being heard is to interrupt or talk on top of them.
Respond to what they said. Be honest and respectful in your responses, and remember to talk - and listen - in the ways that you would want to be talked or listened to.
2. Control your Emotions
When your emotions are so intense that you cannot hear the other person, no communication is actually happening… It’s just noise. It’s like listening to a stereo that is so distorted you can’t make out the words.
Taking a break is an effective way to improve your communication.
Remember, emotions are not reactions-they are decisions. As an example of this, if I were to cut you while you were awake you would bleed. If I cut you while you were sleeping you would bleed. That’s a reaction.
3. Treat Your Partner With Respect
Respect isn’t about controlling someone or making them do what you want them to do. Respect is actually about the freedom to be yourself and to be loved for who you are.
In a healthy relationship, respect looks like:
Talking openly and honestly with each other
Listening to each other
Valuing each other’s feelings and needs
Compromising
Speaking kindly to and about each other
Giving each other space
Supporting each other’s interests, hobbies, careers, etc.
Building each other up
Honoring each other’s boundaries, no matter what
4. Work to a Solution not just Win!
When problem-solving everyday issues becomes a tug-of-war over who’s right and who’s wrong, then settling even the smallest of discussions becomes a battle.
Couples who learn to constructively solve problems lead healthier lives reducing their risk for stress-related health problems including depression, cardiovascular disease, and lowered immunity.
So how do you do this?
Step 1: Describe the Problem in a Few Words - and Let Your Partner Respond
The opening round in problem-solving involves getting your overview of the issue out on the table. Don’t let it smolder or expect your partner to guess!
Step 2: Look Together at Deeper Concerns
This is the exploration phase. Don’t try to “sell” your point of view to your spouse. And don’t try to solve the problem just yet.
Step 3: Craft a Win-Win Strategy
Look for steps you can take to resolve the issue for both of you.
5.Think Before you Speak so you Won't Say Something You Regret
Sometimes, you may feel emotional about a topic and may not think before you talk about it. Hence, it can be pretty hard to stop yourself from blurting out the first thing that pops into your head. T
That being said, you do need to remember that we as humans are social beings and need to communicate effectively in our everyday lives. Communication is the key to happy and sorted relationships.
It’s essential for your credibility because if what you communicate isn’t credible or useful, people won’t respect you or your words.
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Communication Communication
5 Ways to Improve Communication Partner
Partner Partner
Respect
Listen