53 Terrible Jokes!

They're not actually terrible, most of them are actually pretty dang funny. Thanks to all the people who suggested jokes via Twitter (THERE WERE A LOT OF YOU!) these pretty much exclusively came from that search.
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A Bunny
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((') (')

[@keatonsmith5669]

"I had my left and right atrium removed," Tom said halfheartedly.

[@georgea.567]

That's a Tom Swifty not a pun. They're kind of different

[@thepusseydestroyer]

🔥🔥🔥

[@geraldfrost4710]

"I don't need a bra," she said flatly.

[@bryak008]

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

[@adffsd7736]

*mindblown*

[@crystaldmello]

i laughed harder at that than i was supposed to.

[@almostcanadian9495]

😄 Domic's reference!!!! 😂 That vid was so funny!

[@crystaldmello]

Elizabeth H DOMICS?! which episode?

[@almostcanadian9495]

laughter police.

[@isaacs8783]

My little brother, aged six, loves the interrupting animal joke but he hasn't quite worked out how it works. He'll say 'knock knock' 'Who's there-' 'MOOO! '

[@ryleeherman9695]

+Amber Shoffren soooooo cute

[@jillgutierrez16]

Amber Shoffren aww

[@aninlashkar7395]

Interrupting Cow?

[@coena9377]

Anin Lashkar, there is a well-known joke that goes: Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting cow (or another animal) Interrupting c (get's interrupted before can finish saying "interrupting cow who") Mooo (or another animal noise) The joke being that the animal interrupted the joke because they are an interrupting animal.

[@Sodapop-rd5ku]

when I clicked on the video I was like "Ok when is the 9/11 joke going to pop up?"

[@eluckyz4928]

What do you call a row of rabbits jumping backwards? A receding hare line.

[@GozUnlimited]

Haha I love this one

[@daultonbaird6314]

+Clevver101 so , i got retrograde linear bunnies , thanx 4 the eufemism

[@japanesepersimmon5421]

OHHH NNOOSSEE

[@redlightgreenlightswag9338]

JoJo Siwa?

[@iannecruz9528]

not funny at all

[@metalElvalover]

Can February March? No, but April May.

[@thebrandonmaster2]

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

[@davidhunderson9779]

thebrandonmaster2 You got that from the impossible quiz...

[@thebrandonmaster2]

David Hunderson Can a remote control? No, but a soup can.

[@metalElvalover]

David Hunderson We all get our jokes from somewhere...

[@mg-qn1xh]

Boooo get off the stage!

[@Josh01699]

What do you call an Alligator in a vest? An investigator.

[@8898samuel]

lol

[@AllisimaProductions]

Heard that before!

[@nicholashallak8793]

Senior Grammar Nazi hulloo sur

[@AllisimaProductions]

Senior Grammar Nazi hea i herd ur a gremar nazee soo korekt des if u fel liek it lolololollololol

[@kayvod2964]

r/woooooosh

[@sophieluvsbooks2629]

Civil War Jokes? General Lee I don't like 'em.

[@NepNepYT]

I like the way the general lee car looks. It’s pretty orange.

[@Lolligagginaround]

😑

[@sgotti345]

You can't spell slaughter without laughter.

[@aninlashkar7395]

Sreekant Gottimukkala or Ugh

[@Vozird]

I put the laughter into slaughter I put the fun in funeral

[@joyzzyg]

Yeah you can! s

[@eduardsusai559]

You can't spell jokes whitout jewish pepole

[@hadinossanosam4459]

Putting the butt into butter, and sand into sandwiches. stolen from kzbin.info/www/bejne/sIrReqKIps9-ndk

[@LithiumDinosaur]

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

[@maziejameson7215]

not sally

[@HyrumSpendlove]

Pasty Baker I know this comment is old but... Why did Sally fall off the swing? she had not arms Why did Sally fall off the bike? she had no legs. Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

[@SmokeySmudgeStudio]

Why did Sally's head hurt? It was Sally

[@lilithlimbo1845]

my friend thinks he is soooo smart, he said onions were the only food that can make you cry... so i threw a coconut at him. he no longer thinks so.

[@mxprpg585]

NICE!!

[@urmumghey2711]

GG XD

[@tashapundarika]

Let's try pineapple

[@XtremeQuantumSrength405]

A *coco (nut)*

[@zetjet9901]

Lilith, *yes*

[@chibiprussia5574]

I'd say a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon What do you do with dead elements? You Barium

[@audreym]

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny.

[@chibiprussia5574]

Audrey M. I heard Oxygen and Potassium went on a date. It went OK.

[@miageorge858]

What? I thought oxygen was dating magnesium! OMg!

[@chibiprussia5574]

Mia George K.

[@Jakenbake98]

^ hahaha to these comments above. lol it's a chemistry joke battle!

[@Damin928]

A fish is swimming and hits a concrete wall, then yells "Dam!"

[@chofaimporovitch1543]

The dam says "Dumb bass!"

[@winterelton2442]

Why is 6 afraid of 7? I assume it's because 7 is a prime number and prime numbers can be intimidating

[@kallmekrissarchivetiktoks8012]

That one was good

[@plantsandbooks52]

YES

[@HardeepAsrani]

+Winter Elton Because 7 8(ate) 9.

[@vitiosus701]

+Hardeep Asrani heyyyyyyyy, that's not how you spell 8!!!!!!

[@staplies]

heheh

[@1mrsolidsnake]

Why can't u hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom. Because they're DEAD.

[@ash-im6kv]

I'm Female. Fe=Iron Male=Man I'm Iron Man!

[@joebob311]

PastelBeautyXOX Heard that one from my band director :P

[@rumplstiltztinkerstein]

the iron ny

[@adrienfraser5990]

when attaching two pieces of wood together he nailed it ... but I screwed it up

[@arbitrary-human]

Nice one!

[@justasasquatchwithinternet1775]

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Caus the grass tickles their balls

[@bhudere]

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

[@pricessLeopard112]

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck. Who was driving said truck? Not Sally.

[@sorendelaney5035]

What did Sally get for her birthday? Gloves.

[@TomasIlluminato]

Soren Delaney *"Just kidding! she still hasn't opened it."

[@MA-cn9lc]

Daniel Howell's favourite joke?

[@maxwellwalker8050]

where was sally after the bomb dropped? all over the place

[@WorldNews92]

I met Michael Jackson once, just after he'd broken up with the Jackson 5, and he was feeling depressed. So I said to him: "Lighten up!"

[@e.jmanuel9741]

my friends dog Lucky went missing so i stayed up late with him to find her. i guess you could say we.... were up all night to get lucky ;)

[@alwinpriven2400]

+e.j ambrose you what?

[@jesley9483]

Lol

[@plasmodius9449]

ayy lmao xD

[@Acdcrulez5000]

Clever, actually.

[@weenald7287]

0:28 A DILDO

[@xmvlody7361]

Q: Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Cause she will Let it go ;D

[@mostofazaman1498]

THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOO DAMN GOOD!!! well played

[@almostcanadian9495]

😆 nice

[@zanethederahn4079]

wack

[@brandonhoodlumroy2929]

Wack

[@reversevideos3694]

Best joke ever

[@DapperBrick]

I saw a homeless man with a sign saying "will work for food"... ...so I gave him a coconut.

[@joebob311]

WAT.

[@mg-qn1xh]

Hah!

[@StayOutAddhole]

Confusion?

[@TheMysticDave]

I saw a homeless person with a sign saying ‘will work for food...’ I found out he’s been employed by a bacon sandwich.

[@ShortyxGamer]

This actually could've been 54 jokes considering number 15 could be interpreted as a double-joke.

[@muhammedhalas8957]

could have been 60 with a push

[@darkknightplays7154]

Oh no the xbox and and play station have been injured!!! Here comes the ambulance!!!WiiuWiiuWiiuWiiuWiiuWiiuWiiuWiiuWiiuWiiu

[@blakeburke5563]

Nice

[@a3g4rodriguezg.8]

no!!

[@ashtonbarendt3471]

Lol

[@CEOofDontCareInc]

DarkKnightPlays hilariousandoriginal

[@drytoad9226]

DarkKnightPlays hahahahahahahahagahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

[@chibiprussia5574]

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way today. His wife is so distraught, cheese still not over it, we never sausage a thing before.

[@clippychan530]

the past the present and the future all walked into a bar it was pretty tense...

[@marktnicholson]

k

[@Rynneer]

I told the french egg joke during french class Everyone hated me.

[@RandomGuy666100]

That's how you know it works

[@KishoreShenoy1994]

Dad jokes are the *father* of pun-ishment

[@___KIT__]

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow?" "Follow the Fresh Prince" xD

[@anonymeunbekannte2136]

weird seeing a joke about Will Smith, that isn't about him slapping someone and I do realize this comment is 7 years ago, but somehow still weird 😂

[@SASAMMALI]

You need glasses when you do maths because it helps with da-vision.

[@geraldfrost4710]

Do guys make passes at girls who wear glasses? It depend on their frame.

[@imaperson8583]

After wearing stilettos my feet need time to heel okay I'll get out

[@imaperson8583]

Thanks, I'm glad you got a KICK out of my feet jokes

[@magicdaddy8412]

You have deFEETed me with your puns

[@AaronCataract]

+Gabriel Kniffen (Gabe) These puns really touch my SOLE Oh shoot that's shoes not feet. Almost NAILed it

[@alexlubbers1589]

+Ima Person *ba dum tsssssss*

[@jillgutierrez16]

Haha

[@ZombieDudes4TheWin]

Do you hear about the guy who's left side is all paralyzed well he's all right now

[@MizukiHizachi]

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? *giggles* What? You didn't get the reference? No...? We're no longer friends.

[@lilprincenc98]

My life down to a point XD

[@Omega_Orion]

Knock Knock Who's there? Not rose... (This is why I hate my friends...)

[@MizukiHizachi]

Omega Orion Not okay ;-;

[@Omega_Orion]

MizukiHizachi I know... (._.)

[@richardjohnson3600]

and that's why I hate Dr. Who fans. the crazy ones, not all.

[@gwendance]

"How many is a Brazilian?" made me laugh hard.

[@narutoandanimefa]

Gee me too. Mostly because I am Brazilian, so that helped. hahaha

[@Mattayboy1707]

I couldn't help but think that is something Scooby Doo would say. Ah childhood lol

[@ADyingFaith]

I love how cute Hank is when he says how cute the shy pepple joke is.

[@KuDastardly]

Salt jokes? Really dudes? _Na_, I've heard better ones. :P

[@HIPEOPLE1887]

You got any sodium bromate? Na bro

[@HarlanValdes]

But they're sodium funny

[@fredweasley9832]

Watch out for the Supernatural fans...

[@fishalope5]

+Fred Weasley we're late, but we're here now

[@kaeleighkralik7857]

oh now the Xbox and the PS4 are broken call the ambulance Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

[@kaeleighkralik7857]

I kno

[@Robique98]

Give to this guy a diploma for this joke ❤😂😂😂

[@zetjet9901]

*oh* *yes*

[@yummychurros42]

Hank's whale noise is my ringtone

[@annietrinity1833]

An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfitter walk into a bar. I know because they told me in the first minute of talking to them.

[@cool82798]

SO TRUE

[@truedarklander]

And they are all 1 guy who is german

[@abdoufma]

sexy vegan?

[@iamevil8582]

Annie Trinity if eny thing it’s the religions people that tell you there religious

[@zanethederahn4079]

@@iamevil8582 Not always.

[@hannahm00]

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.

[@claraaltfeld9705]

Haha we used to try the "OMg" joke in chemistry, but my teacher didn't like it because it's supposed to be "MgO" (dream crusher). Did it bother us too much? Na, it was K (more periodic table jokes anyone?).

[@treasureberry7154]

A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Owl who finishes your sentences B: Owl who finishes your sentences A: Who? Knock knock! Who's there? Still me.

[@potathoe2865]

Knowledgeabletyrant wait what

[@X_Grave_X]

Knowledgeabletyrant A:Knock Knock! B:who’s there? A:Your girlfriend B:Your girlfriend who? A:your girlfriend who cheated on you

[@treasureberry7154]

@@X_Grave_X that's me proper roasted innit

[@mister5894]

When a ninja farts “It’s silent but deadly”

[@pubes3696]

I went to my uncle's house then he tells a joke Uncle - knock knock Me - who's there Uncle - knock knock Me - knock knock who? Uncle - who is there Me - wait what

[@xlovex9420]

these are so fucking corny but hilarious I'm dying lol

[@duncangnas5551]

Is your refrigerator running? Then I may vote for it.

[@oldytchannel7671]

Nice

[@beatriced.1245]

What did the mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra

[@HeyItsJustMaxi]

Alright, so a blind man walked into a bar... and a table... and a chair...

[@Hermione2286]

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread (Stolen off of Tumblr)

[@robodragonn9506]

WATCHING THIS WHILE EATING WAS A BAD IDEA

[@AshMos]

If masterbation was illegal, people would take the law into their own hands

[@el07528]

Bahahaah, I see what you did there :D

[@imexistent3977]

*masturbation

[@eduardsusai559]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/n4q5gGiYiquqrZI

[@glocke380]

Prince Charlie's went to the dentist, the dentist told him he needed a crown, Charles was all, "I know, right."

[@JBlooey]

What does a frozen lumberjack say? Timbrrrrr.

[@muiscnight]

My friend cant hang out because he caught a cold from being outside too long, what a frosted flake.

[@kawaiimobs1924]

How many tickles does it take to make a octopus laugh? 10 tickles! No? Just me okay.....

[@zenaforest]

I didn't like my beard at first... But then it grew on me.

[@zelda64rules]

What elements love bacon? Ba, Co, N. What elements hate bacon? No, B, O, Dy. I was going to tell a Sodium joke, but then I thought Na. You want to hear a joke about Potassium? K. What element treats the other elements when they get sick? Md.

[@damienrodgers9239]

I thought I was going to hate this video I was dying at the "ten tickles" part.

[@SVE155]

All these jokes go into the "DAD'S" file.

[@geraldfrost4710]

I keep these jokes in my Dadda base.

[@lexuankhoi-james3657]

Comment section: 99.9999% dumb jokes 0.0001% actual things

[@jamydogger8782]

What did the 2 Egyptians say when they farted? We have a Toot-In-Common.

[@myheartbeatsajig]

The octopus joke was Hank’s dad joke to start Dear Hank and John today. I guess he forgot he’d made that joke already. How dare he not remember one of hundreds of jokes that he’s made in over a decade of videos!! 😁

[@LoneAmarok]

What did the egg do when it heard a funny joke? It cracked up.

[@alitlecreacher6077]

puns give me life

[@ivanbobinski8576]

13: You made the chemist laugh so hard, I had to barium.

[@HorsePuncher]

It's hilarious because Gary Numan is actually older than Gary Oldman.

[@aakarshswamy7233]

How can you tell the difference between a scientist and a construction worker? Ask them to pronounce this word 'UNIONIZED' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no seriously it works, try it out! ;)

[@potathoe2865]

What did the chicken say to the other chicken? Got some weed? Seed* stupid autocorrect HahAhhaAhAHA I need friends

[@lucasmiroslaw]

The best part about this video is when he laughs at the lame ass jokes.

[@metallica708]

Still better jokes than "Still a better love story than Twilight."

[@SaltyFrankie]

That's because this was "Way better of a love story than Twilight."(Cause of the love for cheesy jokes.

[@EririKuma]

It's 3AM here right now and I find this to be the exact level of jokes for this hour :D Love you Hank!

[@adityakhanna113]

No jokes are funny at 3 am. I'm like a guy with an imaginary chainsaw at that time

[@CeleryBranches]

Ok so that's 2 Doctor Who jokes, and a Sherlock joke.

[@mephostopheles3752]

WhoLock confirmed.....?

[@CeleryBranches]

SeaBiscuit yes.

[@mephostopheles3752]

WOOOHOOOO

[@audreym]

THATS STILL NOT ENOUGH

[@epicjoyfulcreations4580]

Celery Branches Cat nurse: sometimes I can hear him sing such ancient songs Face of Boe: ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ALL THE SINGLES LADIES That makes three doctor who jokes

[@ducsterrr]

why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Because he was OUT STANDING IN HIS FIELD

[@crinziheart]

Hank is talking so fast that I'm always just getting the previous joke as he's telling the current one, so I'm in a state of perpetual laughter.

[@sophiajonas5678]

the color coded bookshelf in the background makes me very happy

[@asiao.1515]

1:57 Omg that one got me. “Now we just call him dav”

[@jem3295]

wanna hear a wall joke? I couldn't get over it!

[@aninlashkar7395]

The best about things this video are Hank's reactions to his own jokes.

[@joebob311]

How do you get a clown to get off a swing? Hit with an axe. What large, boxy, and kills you if it falls off a tree? A refrigerator.

[@geraldfrost4710]

What's large and green and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

[@louthedragon4540]

I would say a lord of the rings joke but all of them Aragorn

[@blededge]

Whats the name of the worlds best bankrobber? Robin Banks

[@alex2000ish]

A car was tired again. No spun intended.

[@drdonday7997]

What makes you look so cool at home? Air-conditioner

[@JustinTimeCuber]

WHICH SIDE OF A CHICKEN HAS MORE FEATHERS the outside :fp

[@ShowtunesbyJenna]

"Whattaya call a fish with no eyes? A fish...?" No, you call it a fsh

[@Razorbird490]

"What do you call a fish with no Eyes? A: a Fish" ...I call it dinner.

[@geraldfrost4710]

the joke is "A fsh." The opposite is, "What do you call a pig with three eyes?" "a piiig." this one works better vocally. And again, good for dinner.

[@Razorbird490]

@@geraldfrost4710 the fact that I commented this 7 years ago scares me 😂 The joke makes so much more sense when you're older 😬

[@geraldfrost4710]

@@Razorbird490 Reading through the comments because some of the jokes people left are absolute gold! (Don't leave comments that you wouldn't want your grand-mother to read, because one day you're children will be that old, and search out your comments for your funeral. Have a nice day!)

[@josephsisley121]

Q: Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles? A: So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard.

[@tetsurin5154]

oh my thank you for the Jack Frost bit~ Brother : Why'd you come to this channel again? I thought you're studying! Me : Um, temporary insanity? *angel*

[@raayderr]

Why are peppers so annoying? because they're jalapeño business

[@camilleh7997]

Mei!!! :3

[@8898samuel]

lol

[@camilleh7997]

MY PENIS IS FROM VENUS SO LOVE MY PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENISSSSSSSSS Wow, that name though. D: Lol

[@new45873]

I'm going to tell this one.

[@robinyu5288]

Buzz Aldrin was the second man on the Moon. Neil before him.

[@crow3641]

This is my childhood . Took me forever to find this video

[@livvybrooks2202]

"By the time I had processed one of these jokes and laughed, you were on the third one." Lol you talk fast and I love it! My sister does not

[@SmartCatDad]

Knock Knock Who's There? ADHD ADHD who? (stares off into distance)

[@Mrlegitbeans]

BECAUSE THE P. IS SILENT.omg. im done.

[@mineola_]

The best thing about this is how genuinely happy and excited Hank is for all these jokes.

[@shainashaina123]

I watched this at 0.5x speed to not miss any jokes and that made them all so much funnier. Slow motion Hank is hilarious.

[@katrinathesaiyanflamecloud5169]

What about waterproof water? Pour some water in a glass with more water in it and BAM! :3 The water doesn't get wet!

[@rachelferguson2376]

I love number 20! Lol! :D

[@abigailagan7931]

That was beautiful.

[@Moonkissedchaos]

They had two doctor who jokes 😀😃😝😜

[@anyacarpenter4106]

Dear god I love VLOGBROTHERS!!

[@alexklingfus3474]

Caroline Congoutski Doctor who for the win

[@steveflores2461]

A mushroom walks into mcdonalds and the server says sorry we Don't serve mushrooms here the mushroom responds why not im a fungi

[@factsabouturmum9250]

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One asks the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

[@madeleinekennedy8812]

What do you call a Star Trek movie that a con man is trying to sell you? The Wrath Of Con