6 Psychological Things That make You Less Attractive

What makes you less attractive or unattractive to others? What holds you back from success with dating or attracting your crush? What if it goes beyond physical appearance? We got you covered.
In this video, we'll be talking about the psychological things that make you unattractive.
Now, do you want to learn about the things that can make you more attractive instead? Watch this video too: • 10 Surprising Habits T...
Writer: Syazwana Aimirah
Script Editor: Denise Ding
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Cece (new animator)
Production Assistant: Thomas Kang
KZbin Manager: Cindy Cheong
REFERENCES
Sundelin, T., Lekander, M., Sorjonen, K., & Axelsson, J. (2017). Negative effects of restricted sleep on facial appearance and social appeal. Royal Society Open Science, 4(5), 160918. doi.org/10.1098/rsos.160918
Swami, V., & Furnham, A. (2008). The psychology of physical attraction. New York, NY: Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Tracy, J., & Beall, A. (2011). Happy guys finish last: The impact of emotion expressions on sexual attraction. Emotion, 11(6), 1379-1387. doi.org/10.1037/a0022902
Vacharkulksemsuk, T., Reit, E., Khambatta, P., Eastwick, P., Finkel, E., & Carney, D. (2016). Dominant, open nonverbal displays are attractive at zero-acquaintance. Proceedings Of The National Academy Of Sciences, 113(15), 4009-4014. doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1508932113
Van Tongeren, D., Davis, D., & Hook, J. (2014). Social benefits of humility: Initiating and maintaining romantic relationships. The Journal Of Positive Psychology, 9(4), 313-321. doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2014.898317
Wright, P., Stern,J., & Phelan, M. (2012). Core Psychiatry (Third Edition), 63-82, doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-7020-3397-1.00005-7.
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[@Dev.Yadav.]

Society: "Just be yourself" Also society: "No not like that"

[@Alex_le_robloxian]

Yeah right..

[@firstlast8258]

We live in a society

[@Dev.Yadav.]

@@firstlast8258 *judgemental society!

[@firstlast8258]

@@Dev.Yadav. 🙄

[@Dinoslay]

Fact of life: you will be judged. Deal with it.

[@Nothingwasfixedatall10]

I 100% agree that attraction is Psycological because I've been attracted to people who aren't even physically attractive

[@Anonymous-hx3pu]

Damn, now I have to make myself psychologically unattractive as well

[@Nothingwasfixedatall10]

@@Anonymous-hx3pu seems your a bit confused but that's okay homie

[@thewolfed1687]

Same

[@BloomingRose438]

@@Anonymous-hx3pu gal what u talkin bout?

[@RM-xp3sd]

@@Anonymous-hx3pu read again haha

[@kenji7030]

Here you go, guys: 1. Being sleep deprived 2. Body smell 3. Love yourself 4. Not being humble 5. Overly smiley 6. Contractive body language

[@Rat6671]

I have ADD but I’m medicated and before being medicated I smiled so much it was actually horrible 😭 Also 3 do u mean disliking yourself makes you less attractive? Or does it mean loving urself makes u less attractive (I assume liking urself makes u more than less)

[@kenji7030]

@@Rat6671 loving yourself too much. Narcissism basically..

[@Rat6671]

@@kenji7030 yeah that makes a lot of sense

[@lizzie009]

@@kenji7030 not my fault you feel insecure

[@Quinqyincy]

⁠@@lizzie009narcissistic can be a bit too much, very self centered and overconfident

[@Ore_Jo]

Funnily enough, I actually like sleep deprivation. I have absolutely no clue why, but I think it makes a person hotter. The messy hair, the restless eyes, it’s just appealing to me. I also like rbfs a lot, and don’t really like smiles. But the smile of a person I really like can be nice

[@chrisel4349]

Restless eyes means eyes darting everywhere.

[@Krispacious.]

I honestly agree with this, I can imagine showing up to class and being able to steal glances at the person I like while their sleeping, and then when they have a good amount of energy, that honestly to me makes them even hotter-

[@barbecuedsimsbaby]

Yeah and the sleepy voice fry, they also tend to be fellow neurodivergents so that's a bonus! :)

[@GL00MY_SW4MPZ]

yea same here tbh

[@AbigOne121]

Shota Aizawa says thank you

[@bubbletea9555]

“Being sleep deprived isn’t attractive” *I shall stay single forever*

[@imveryaverageatpayday58q9]

or go to sleep

[@SirSardines]

I just noticed I am a sleep deprived, boring & Negative little blob. :((

[@santtu6930]

Me watching this at 3am: 👁️👁️

[@hey6601]

Fr I have Insomnia 😭

[@Lorellas]

@@hey6601 same it’s genetic for me though 😭

[@TrailMix324]

“Turtles are cute, but its because they’re turtles… your a human… dont try to turtle yourself” has to be one of the most adorable ways to tell someone to open up a bit

[@blitz2092]

Yeah

[@Brisun]

Sounds annoying

[@pharmaceuticalsnow]

Yes

[@pharmaceuticalsnow]

@@Brisun :( it made me feel happy

[@akeelahbruce1821]

Just played as I read this

[@Kievyapyes]

Love that u put Eddsworld character here

[@kevinstott9481]

I thought I was the only one that noticed

[@tomgaming410]

same

[@Greggorto]

fr i saw no other comments talking about the eddworld reference

[@Ferry...]

I just noticed that too xd

[@mr.saibaman122]

I am glad someone else also noticed!

[@Wulfenburg]

As someone who has a deep seeded hatred for themselves, loving yourself is, unfortunately, a big one. The amount of times I've heard from girls at the end of the relationship say "How do you expect someone to love you when you can't love yourself." But you can't force someone to love you... Can I force myself to love me?

[@ppokjhsjjsszjzu8171]

Hey, it's been a month since you made this comment. How are you doing now? Hating yourself sucks, and it's hard to break out of. You can't force you to love yourself. It's a gradual process of accepting yourself for who you are. It will be a challenge, and you will need a good support group. Even though it might seem pointless, and you might feel like you will be stuck like this forever, try to do a little better each day. Find good coping strategies and try to change your mindset a bit at a time. When you find yourself putting yourself down, take a deep breath, and focus on your surroundings. Remind yourself that you're not perfect, but with each passing day, you will strive to be the person you want to be. Smile and just live. You have to be able to put in the effort to do this. You have to be willing to believe that you got what it takes to change and that all comes down to making the first step. I believe in you

[@ppokjhsjjsszjzu8171]

I apologize if I'm overstepping my boundaries. I struggle with self-hatred, and it's hard. I'm trying to be better each day, though, and doing my best to be a nicer person to myself. I would recommend journaling when you are in those moments where you hate yourself so much that you want to tear yourself apart. Putting all of your emotions and thoughts on paper, from my experience, really helps. Anyways, you got this! Remember that you miss all of the shots you don't take. Keep trying, and do your best!

[@con-man7042]

Hope you're doing well, and that you've found a way to love yourself

[@user-lj4rp5ys2p]

​@@ppokjhsjjsszjzu8171 hey, 6 months now .. hows the progress? I just decided to go down the path of self acceptance and self love this week. Just wanted to know where to start and how to start. And is it even worth it?

[@duck33]

This phrase really infuriates me. How can I love myself if no one loves me? To love myself I must know that I am valuable, but everyone around me proves the opposite to me

[@rest1585]

Takes “I’m ugly and I’m proud” to a new level.

[@firstlast8258]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

[@SUPERNOVA0360]

@@firstlast8258 Lies.

[@firstlast8258]

@@SUPERNOVA0360 no

[@Random_AlienYTP]

@@firstlast8258 CAP

[@pixiepalasmr6881]

@@SUPERNOVA0360 But it is. I may find someone attractive that you think is absolutely ugly, and vise versa. That’s the beauty of being human, we aren’t all the same, nor do we all want the same things in another person.

[@-suzan-3638]

here a list for the people in a hurry: 1. being sleep deprived(0:48) 2. body smell (1:28) 3. excessive focus on appearance (2:11) 4. not being humble (2:42) 5. overly smiley/ too proud (3:36) 6. contractive body language (4:01)

[@sondelverruckt7174]

The people of the future will thank you😆

[@-suzan-3638]

@@sondelverruckt7174 yeah i know

[@Gonegonegonee]

Thank you 🙏🏽

[@lapris7380]

I love you

[@bellamaxwell4310]

Thanks

[@modernfleetway7367]

I like how this video is giving you advice on how to actually control yourself and take care of yourself as well

[@duncansong924]

"Attraction is actually a complex thing involving the whole person, flaws and all" In my opinion clumsiness is not so bad.

[@sylvianne374]

(before the 6 things) Attraction is based on 3 things: 1. You consider them approachable 2. Belive in positive facts about them 3. They make you feel good

[@1112viggo]

But in reality: 1. Looks. 2. Social standing. 3. Money.

[@johntrucano6620]

Being approachable is not important because I have no intention of approaching them. I will admire their physical attractiveness at a distance. If they catch me looking, I may or may not smile, but that’s the extent of it for me

[@JSZ-fi1ph]

You fall in love because of looks But stay because of personality

[@ellacurran2669]

the people who put lists like these in comments are the backbone of society

[@mumumumey]

omg this junior approached me, like out of all of everyone in the cafeteria she picked me and we eat lunch together and she makes me feel good and she's so swet

[@satrickptar6265]

"1. Being sleep dep--" Alright, I'm already unattractive.

[@Harper6969]

Idk some sleep deprived ppl r so nice n cute

[@OscarTheGrouchy]

I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD!

[@frainsyni6094]

Same 😭

[@rampagemako5074]

@@OscarTheGrouchy I love how you own it 👌

[@TailsFoxy1992]

This is why I hate myself-

[@Monz111]

at this point idc if im not attractive, because i am already heartbroken haha

[@atomicJUMP]

Man I love your videos & YOUR ART STYLE! its just so cute !

[@kirinirlf]

I feel like the whole body language thing is very difficult. I automatically default to crossed arms AND legs when in public. When I do realize, I try fixing my posture/sitting position, but without realizing, I quickly revert back.

[@lol-sq9rx]

Relatable

[@mikehancock9887]

the whole body language thing isn't agreed upon. Some sources say what this video says, others say it doesn't actually really factor. Now, that may be more cultural - I spend a LOT of time around, and grew up around, people who would cross their legs, cross their arms, etc.. Personally, I simply find it the most comfortable position to be in, rather than my hands and arms hanging, which eventually just gets painful. So for me, it's more storage for limbs I'm not using at that moment, less psycho-social. That may be opposite for someone else, even a few within my own social circle, but again, that's likely to be more cultural/influence. To suggest what this video suggests, as an absolute, is disingenuous at best, dishonest at worst. Most body language isn't something we will consciously see, unless intentionally looking for it; and even then, it's difficult unless you're trained. (I'm not). No, most of the body language that would determine attraction is subconscious, at least according to other sources I've seen/read/heard (SciShow Psych had a video on this, iirc). These outward, obvious placements of limbs is rarely actually indicative of anything other than simple comfort.

[@King-zx3ts]

@@mikehancock9887 i heard a different version for why guys sit with crossed legs, and it has to do with the size of a certain body part which actually makes sense if you think about it

[@octaviooyhanarte9574]

I rarely do be crossing arms but it feels like crossing legs and hunched back Is my default siting posture

[@tv1990]

it's okay mate, it's 1 point among 6, and while in this video it might make you feel you're less approachable when you cross your arms, if it's a habit of your's people would notice that you cross your arms when you feel comfortable, then it's all good since you show that you feel comfortable with the person you're talking with

[@DaestrumManitz]

Being a chronic insomniac, I can confer that my irritability isn’t very attractive and serves as a turn off. Not to mention my innate ability to just fall asleep mid sentece has failed to impress.

[@palbo4]

Right? It makes it so much harder to even just communicate with people. I've been around the biggest crushes of my life while functioning on zero sleep and it's just soul crushingly embarrassing how much harder it makes it to connect. Watching them lose interest while having no energy to even think straight can be so painful that it makes the sleep issues even worse too. People who don't suffer from chronic sleep/fatigue issues don't know how good they have it

[@gameproadvancesp148]

If only. I usually take around 40 minutes to get to sleep, and that’s only if I’m tired. If I’m not, I’m getting anywhere. And did I mention that I wake up at the drop of a pen? I always realize that I’m dreaming, which for some reason causes me to remember to blink, which causes me to wake up. And I used to be the deepest sleeper before I started using alarms! Now it doesn’t matter if I have one or not, I’m still waking up as soon as the suns out!

[@hisokamorrow3391]

Reminds me of the webtoon eaternal nocturnal

[@flitefulwantssubs402]

Same, I’m tired all the time and it takes me hours to fall asleep. I feel like a broken record complaining about it, and maybe I shouldn’t, but everything is so difficult when I can never think straight anymore. I take hours to fall asleep, and will get 6 hours on a good night. Feels like I can barely function now. Talking, doing homework, just plain thinking is impossible. I have a headache at pretty much all times and feel nauseous the less sleep I get. I miss normal sleep

[@aubs1474]

Instead of not having enough sleep, mine is not being fed. If I am not fed (like skipping breakfast) it shows, and makes me miserable to be around.

[@GPTAsk]

Firstly, I think it's important to acknowledge that attraction is indeed a complex thing. It's not just about physical beauty, but rather a combination of factors that involve both the external and internal aspects of a person. The video highlights some of the psychological factors that can make someone less attractive, and I think it's valuable to consider these factors when trying to build new relationships or maintain existing ones. One of the factors that stood out to me is the importance of being approachable. It's true that when meeting someone for the first time, we rely on sight to give us an initial assessment of the person. If someone appears tired or unkempt, it can be off-putting and may affect how we perceive their overall attractiveness. This is why getting enough sleep and taking care of ourselves is crucial not just for our physical health, but also for our social interactions. Another interesting point in the video is the role of body smell in attraction. It's fascinating to learn that our body odor is influenced by our genes, specifically the major histocompatibility complex (MHC). Studies have found that people are generally more attracted to individuals with dissimilar MHCs, which may encourage gene variability and stronger immune systems. This just goes to show that there are deeper biological factors at play when it comes to attraction. I also agree with the video's point about the importance of not being overly focused on appearance. While it's important to look and feel good, being obsessed with one's self-image can be a turn-off for others. Substance and character are just as important in building and maintaining relationships. Finally, the video emphasizes the significance of nonverbal communication and body language in attraction. Having an open and expansive posture is generally seen as more attractive than a closed and contractive posture. This is because a contractive posture may convey a message of not being open or welcoming to others, while an expansive posture can make us appear more confident and approachable. Overall, I think the video provides valuable insights into the complex factors that contribute to attraction. While we may not be able to control some of these factors, such as our genes and body odor, we can certainly work on the aspects that we can control, such as our posture, social skills, and character. By being aware of these psychological factors, we can better understand ourselves and others and build more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

[@Rotary1999]

Did you just take the entire videos transcript and run it through ChatGPT and paste the response into the comments?

[@veniceflytrap]

​@@Rotary1999im pretty sure it is

[@zetro_cloud]

I ain't gonna read all that

[@gameplaydesigner7329]

Anyone know the background music background?

[@setoki2838]

This video is so calm and makes things seem nice, and then I look on twitter and instagram and wonder what is even real anymore.

[@howdoesonesocial]

The one person I've been with that I believe I genuinely loved wasn't exactly "conventionally attractive". She was kinda boyish and had short hair, and I get the feeling that most people wouldn't find her attractive based on her looks, but becuase I enjoyed her company so much, personally, I thought she was adorable. I thought everything about her was attractive. I think when you genuinely love someone, it doesn't matter what they look like, because they're perfect in your own eyes.

[@joody289]

Boyish and short hair is not unattractive

[@howdoesonesocial]

@@joody289 I agree. That's why I said "conventionally attractive". Attraction is subjective, but there is a weird social standard, and boyish with short hair on a girl isn't typically viewed as socially or conventionally attractive. Also, random side note, me and this girl got back together recently, so I'm happy :)

[@jrflush2157]

@@howdoesonesocial Nice to hear (:

[@yochicoojm]

Are you a girl too

[@howdoesonesocial]

@@yochicoojm I am

[@sha6077]

I have to absolutely disagree with the smile one. People who always smile are more approachable, I always smile and many told me that my Joyful personality makes them laigh or they are happy to have me around. So always smile when you talk to someone, you'll put them more at ease

[@RozettaVyper]

I think she means people who smile NO MATTER WHAT. As in, the person could be having a rough day, doesn't want to be bothered but you don't know that because the dude is smiling all the time with a nice tone. You take it as "oh they're super happy." and be playful with them only to get the feeling that through the fake smile and body language, they aren't playful. Now you look like an a-hole. People don't like excessive smiling is what she means. Smiling through situations that don't call for your smile or smiling when you're giving off the wrong vibe to someone. My coworker is like that. I've had to walk on eggshells because I cannot guess his mood through his constant smiling.

[@curlyhairdudeify]

People who always smile are the fakest people that you will ever meet.

[@alastor9141]

Well.... fake smiles are not good

[@aanyakolleri4315]

I smile quite a lot even if I try not to. It just happens out of the blue. Sometimes, it even happens without me noticing. I don’t think I can change that. I don’t fake smile unless it’s with relatives, since I get worried and nervous about them, but with others I never fake smile. I don’t know what to do.

[@kookies1647]

I’m an optimistic person 😭 even when I’m feeling down I still try to smile and be happy to cheer myself up- I didn’t know that this was unattractive

[@jeraora3045]

this is literaly being your self ... but in every best way posible

[@rat-in-a-suit]

Ive never understood beauty standards because 1: even if i think someone is attractive, i wont actually be attracted to them until i get to know them, then they become 10x more attractive to me 2: personally i think commonly " not attractive" things such an large or crooked noses, dark circles under eyes, wonky teeth/tooth gap, ect are so attractive, i just love them so much and i know im not the only one so i just dont get why people have these unnaturally difficult beauty standards. Everyone is beautiful to someone.😊

[@jaelzebel4302]

Demisexual, perhaps?

[@The20XX_]

I was very pleasantly surprised to see Edd, Tom, and Matt. I love all the references in these videos!

[@Psych2go]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@Qwaziop]

When I saw Matt i was like, Bro this looks like Matt, eh just a coincidence. Then I saw Tom and edd

[@sportyginger]

I was looking for comments that noticed them!! Glad I found someone! :)

[@Cringeypop]

@@Psych2go I like how you draw the Eddsworld crew

[@Tengu125]

I've had trouble with the smiling part. I'm on the spectrum, and upon learning this at the age of 15, I had to teach myself to display emotion, and I try to be as clear as possible due to feeling like I'm not communicating properly, which might lead to me overdoing it when I relax in a social situation. When I smile, I mean it with all my heart, because I don't waste my effort on those who I feel don't deserve my limited energy.

[@archdevil7472]

Same here, and I personally think that just trying to be the kindest and most clean version of yourself that you're able to accomplish is enough for someone to find romantic interest in you

[@isthataspider7410]

Yeah some of this video is kinda ableist cuz some things just come naturally to us like our body language or the faces we make

[@thebard5019]

im so glad someone put it to words

[@Korii1029]

Yeah like I CANNOT force myself to feel any emotions. If I'm neutral I cannot force myself to smile and actually mean it. When I'm sad or upset and don't want people to know, i can't force myself to smile. When I feel certain emotions that's how genuinely feel. When I'm actually happy I can't stop smiling.

[@idiomatic444]

I smile all the time because I have very intense emotions so when I'm happy I'm really happy and i stay happy. I didn't know it was a bad thing lol

[@THE_NAME_1S_MAAZ]

Hey Amanda did anyone ever tell u that u have such a nice and calming voice. I'm sure u've had this compliment a ton times.

[@jacobsustersic8711]

I was actually pretty worried that this would really hit my currently-fragile self-confidence (healing from some hurts), but this was delightfully presented and helped me realize that I'm doing better than I think 😌

[@endlesswonderland205]

Being attractive still varies for different mindsets ig. I don't find people who have expressive body language attractive. I cannot care less about their haggard appearance. I don't find humbleness attractive either. It's just what it is, it never draws me in. So, there is nothing like, "this is always attractive". It is just a perception of finding something appealing/unappealing. It's just mind, not the truth. Yeah, it's a waste of our time thinking about whether people find us attractive or not. No matter how attractive I am, I am still ugly for many people. Guys, just don't find a reason to be yourself. Being yourself is like existing. You cannot live as a worker bee while being a queen bee or vice versa. Accepting yourself is the only way to get peace and joy within yourself. Otherwise, you keep struggling with yourself like a trapped mouse or something. All the best in that 🤞 (I, the one who ranted am terribly insecure about attractiveness but.....I am slowly understanding things. Getting aware of things you already know is the first step in healing anything. Hope this long-ass comment helps someone in getting aware for nth time. It helped me!)

[@guesswho5790]

While I agree with you in that the specific traits mentioned are relative and subjective. There are things that we do that can kill attraction. Being negative, clingy, neglectful, lying... Anything that will make you lose trust in a person. Love is created when we feel safe enough to be vulnerable with that person. And anything that kills that safe place, will kill the attraction.

[@TheSouthIsHot]

The definition of humble as it's used in the video means not arrogant or prideful. You prefer arrogance and pridefulness?

[@geiger21]

a lot of truth in your comment. Many people won't achieve anything by being "themselves" and need to actively develop some traits or straight up act. It's sad but this is how it is. Don't let anyone fool you telling you to "just be yourself". If for any reason you hear that advice, being yourself was probably a problem from the beginning.

[@endlesswonderland205]

@@TheSouthIsHot I greatly appreciate humbleness but it never attracts me. It's not my type tbh. This doesn't mean I specifically prefer arrogance and attitude. Like how some people find funny people attractive while others just appreciate that trait, I appreciate humbleness...but don't get attracted to it.

[@TheSouthIsHot]

@@endlesswonderland205 👍

[@pb_pingiefingie]

This was a great video and it made me realize more about myself. Thanks! Also, that Eddsworld reference at 2:27 had me smiling. I’ve watched them since 2017!

[@matthewedric]

The only comment I saw about Eddsworld

[@cyrusissilent]

I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT!!!!

[@pb_pingiefingie]

@@cyrusissilent LOLLLLL

[@jaximoo9986]

eee I'm so glad others noticed!!!

[@Ikozip]

Me looking for the one and only other person that noticed the eddsworld reference

[@Tsuyu_asui_froppy]

i love watching your videos im so relaxed with them and they give me so many tips keep doing what you do your amazing!❤

[@bubblegun.lover.1355]

Yeeaaaa…. That’s a big step Imma just concentrate on how to talk with people my age. Amazing videos btw! ❤❤

[@Rylinn_]

The only reason for my contractive body language is just trauma. I’ve gone through a lot. It’s really hard to trust people nowadays… I wish I could, but it’s nearly impossible

[@egg2451]

Hope you get rid of ur trama soon

[@cat000]

Yeah

[@keithhudgins1904]

It's okay mike. It really is. (Or will be) God bless.

[@Rylinn_]

@@keithhudgins1904 thank you. 🥺💕

[@greylizard1040]

If your trauma was due to relationships, if you haven't already, it might help to learn about narcissism. I went through a lot of relationship trauma and finding out about narcissism was the only thing that ever gave me any closure and helped me see red flags I was ignoring before. I promise you, there are good people out there too.

[@lifeline_]

It is good to note that these are found to be attractive to more people than not, which means there is still variation based on a lot of things. For example, just because you fit all of these for a guy or a girl, they may still reject you, or be with you casually and end it because they aren't looking for commitment. They may also just not value some of these things because of how/where they were raised and so they don't find them desirable even if they were found to correlate with better relationships. Some people are also traumatized, maybe immature, etc. There are many reasons why they may reject you regardless of whether you would make a good partner for them. The things to learn are being able to tell your own faults and when to move on from someone.

[@primitivemediations530]

so true trauma made it hard for me to connect and maintain any good relationship partner wise or friend Idm. No one is gonna love a hurt traumatized person cuz it's too much work for anyone. it's hard work for the person with it to work on it as well. but it's more important to work on it solo. so you won't add more to the trauma if they leave you is basically abandoning especially if you already open up and they made it seem like they here to help cuz it be rare to have those individuals. heal yourself to be true independence that's the gift of going through traumatic events, you are resilient and blessed to be alive. you are more powerful than the average human being because they die of loneliness

[@chaoticdetectivepeach]

@@primitivemediations530 Eh I just found an equally traumatized person yk, probably not very healthy, but eh we make each other better people. Besides that the variantions are especially true, cuz I find sleep deprived people more attractive cuz it's like we're kindred spirits y'know. And also I don't mind people with a bit of an ego, cuz honestly in the situation I grew up in, I literally had no help, literally zero, my mom was the type of person who separates you from any other viewpoint or support system, she's like a fucking cultist. So when I did things they were literally all me since I had nobody else that even could help. I had to fight tooth and nail for every little bit and honestly it made me stronger yea. But I wish I didn't have to be. I did get some useful traits from it, such as my unwavering defiance. (Because whenever someone tells me I'm too fuckin dumbshit to do something I hit em with a not with that fuckin attitude and do it anyways exclusively as a very spiteful f*ck you) And my sense of chaos and mayhem. (Because there were times I literally had to Jack Sparrow it out of places, like throw a cup at the wall flip the table, punch the nearest fuckshit in the face and fly out of the room sorta thing.)

[@Wulfenburg]

A lot of it as about timing. It's like everything has to come together for a relationship to work out. Many of the things you have zero control over.

[@milkflavored]

This comment is underrated

[@n0_username433]

I am currently working on fixing posture so here is what i do: If you realize your posture is not straight try to immediately straighten it up even if it reverts back if you keep doing this it will last longer the more you do it slowly your back will straighten back up again but once you get older the harder it is to have better posture so try to keep the good posture or improve it as soon as possible a good spine is also healthier then a broken one

[@lpsyorks6280]

I used to always have a hunched over back and my posture was terrible, but with the help of 2 years of physical therapy, I got better at my posture, I’m pretty proud of myself

[@selenesveda]

Love the Eddworld's referance on 2:38

[@ploxbar]

what is it do you mean the last one

[@Wh173c0c0]

I always thought that the thing that made me unattractive was my face. Now you're telling me that it was just my chronic insomnia, dead fish eyes, and tendency to lean backwards with my hands in my pockets? What a relief.

[@blitz2092]

real

[@ulysses7157]

Improving body language is the one thing I truly need to improve. Like with my words despite sounding welcoming, body wise still that closed hunched back stance. Complex PTSD and depression really messed me up.

[@vangogh1888]

I've never been able to have a specific opinion about people's appearance, but I've always cared a lot about their personality. I can't answer when people ask me something like "what's your type?" , like, I don't care much about the appearance, but rather the character.

[@SkullKidMuzik]

2:05 - I love how Psych2Go includes characters of different shows in their videos!!!!

[@vivixd-]

2:20 that eddsworld reference tho

[@mikecronis]

I did an experiment where I went to a bar unwashed (no cologne, no deodorant) and women approached me and acted unusually friendly. A week later I wore the normal amount of cologne (light) and deodorant and only had 1 woman approach me as such. I repeated this for 1 year, alternating weeks. I found almost always, unwashed (not reeking) was most beneficial, especially after being at a gym and lifting weights. I had a woman do the same experiment and got the same results. Pheromones work.

[@milkflavored]

I'm so curious about this... all the other aspects of this video are controllable (in some way) but you literally can't change your pheromones... so what if you are just a person who has pheromones that don't attract people. How do you know if you reek, even if you shower and you're just nose blind to it..

[@emilie8356]

Watching these videos before hanging out is my cup of tea

[@kicat7083]

I absolutely love the fact that you put matt for the excessive caring over looks 😆

[@SpiderWithTime]

I’m glad I am not the only one that noticed eddsworld

[@emily_eddsworld_fox6976]

Other people who know about it!-

[@ChikinNuggz119]

for contractive body language, i will say that for me its the opposite. I feel more threatened by someone who holds their arms open to me, and would rather hang with someone who prefers to be a 'turtle'. To me, it doesn't say 'dont come close'. it says to me 'im not a threat' and i like that. idk what it is about being greeted with open arms that makes me fearful.

[@pixiepalasmr6881]

Maybe it makes you wonder if or what they are hiding. Most people don’t hold themselves in such a vulnerable pose, so maybe they are over compensating.

[@drpottymouth]

I just don't like sudden movements.

[@AizakkuZ]

ngl u might have sum trauma

[@oso2935]

@@AizakkuZ na fr

[@1112viggo]

Maybe you are adverse to all this social hugging like me? Whenever someone i just met comes at me with open arms i feel like yelling "We don´t have that kind of relationship yet!" Also its like an oven outside atm, do i really still have to accept people mashing their sweaty body up against mine just so I won´t be considered unattractive or unapproachable? God its so hard fitting in sometimes...

[@EliBlie]

WAHH IM SORRY, I LOVE THIS VIDEO AND THANK YOU - BUT THE EDDSWORLD AT 2:14 OR SO YAYAYAYAY I LOVE THE SILLY GUYS

[@Ohem1]

I like how none of these things are a problem for me, and yet no one bats an eye towards me.

[@tdukeluke260]

1. Never occurred to me 2. Can be changed, but yes 3. Maybe they're just insecure, I wouldn't mind working through that with them 4. Definitely 5. Overly smiley could be something they can't help / too proud could go either way 6. Doesn't matter And this is just me, even these things differ based on someones preference. Stay safe out there y'all.

[@slayeroffurries1115]

some of those things are hardwired into our subconscious, so I think it'd be difficult to say they "don't matter" unless you are literaly built different

[@darthmader057mmm6]

I'd rather be a narcissist than smell bad

[@shilohoward6085]

I like your open hearted perspective. Respect.

[@omo1737]

Thank you...! I am so 3 😢

[@blankslate8002]

Yeah

[@wafflejane_4750]

OMG MATT AT 2:19

[@anng.2930]

I am very happy with this video, because these are all thibgs I was in the past because I thought I might fit in better but am not anymore because my best friends helped me reflect and told me it gave off a bad vibe and I don't need to try so hard! I love that 🥰 ... Though I might still be overly smiley, I experience either no emotions at all or express emotions at incredible extremes, so there is that

[@GeorgiaPodzemny]

EDDSWORLD REFERENCE!!!! Also I like when people are sleep deprived if that makes sense. I kinda like it when some one if disorganized, it gives them more personality you know?

[@nelmae6026]

Wow, loving the references on this channel! Seems like you guys are going for a lot of different fandoms, and personally, I feel seen whenever the fandom I'm currently or previously been in shows up on your videos. I'm getting hit with nostalgia after seeing Matt, Tom, and Edd from Eddsworld:D

[@maefaemusic]

who is the character in your profile picture? looks super familiar.

[@Elena-mb8iv]

@@maefaemusic Kara from Detroit Become Human

[@Psych2go]

Glad you enjoy it!

[@Bombasticpik]

yeha

[@emily_eddsworld_fox6976]

I’m still in the eddsworld fandom right now if you couldn’t tell by my username

[@yoongiboongi9394]

I feel like the only thing i do from these is having 'excessive focus on appearance'. It's not because I'm obsessed with myself or I'm a narcissist or something, it's just cause I'm really really insecure. About my face, body, everything. I don't wanna be 'less attractive' or something but i just can't help it :(

[@guesswho5790]

That's not attractive either

[@Airman_Haz]

@guess who maybe not for u. Ur only spreading bad vibes to people who already feel uncomfortable so u can either deal with it or delete ur comment bc ur rude And that's the new unattractive🙄

[@heroinfathr]

@@guesswho5790 neither is your attitude

[@barakaobama4017]

Insecurity comes from false self image. You gotta fix whats on the inside, not the outside. I recommend reading Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Its a really great book about mental health and our self image.

[@yoongiboongi9394]

@@barakaobama4017 okk i'll read the book for sure tyy

[@lin3378]

loving yourself - *shows matt*

[@a.dderall.]

your voice is so calming

[@jvstAsYouAre]

I feel like if someone is too open that freaks me out. So when it comes to contractive body language vs expansive body language is kinda a balance you have to try and strike. Plus if you just genuinely feel uncomfortable in a situation anyone would feel uncomfortable in, but you don't look uncomfortable, I would personally read that as being a little weird. Not super weird but just a tiny little bit. I get what the overarching point of what you mean though, but you should keep this in mind imo.

[@RozettaVyper]

Some people who are open immediately are either 1. actually confident, friendly and mentally strong people. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable to a stranger. People who are strong knows the difference between vulnerability and weakness. 2. They do it to see what you're about. To see if you can be trusted, if you're a judgmental a-hole, if you have confidence and dignity. It's screening basically. 3. Some do it to run you away. It was a tactic my now bestie of 15+ years did to me. He admitted to me many years later that that was his go-to to drive people away from him because he suffered from depression and anxiety. It didn't work on me because my social skills was all weird back then.

[@gameproadvancesp148]

Dobert

[@SakuraMoonflower]

@@RozettaVyper I'm glad you two became friends. It's pretty clear he needed you. XD

[@henrye.3613]

Wow, I really do not like people like you, if someone opened up to me I would accept them. This is why people feel like they can’t talk to anyone. 💀

[@BCSchmerker]

+Psych2go *Thanks for the list of repulsive traits:* 0:48 (1) Sleep deprivation 1:28 (2) Body odors contraindicative of histocompatibility 2:11 (3) Obsession on appearances 2:42 (4) Lack of humility 3:36 (5) Excessive pride 4:01 (6) Contractive body language

[@jenniferhynes4297]

Thanks for the list!

[@obitouchiha2581]

Saved me whole 5 minutes. What a chad

[@chubibi06]

well, i only recently figured i would look more accessible if i tried to keep my back straight and smile, but thanks for pointing out the crossed arms thing, i'm sure it'll help !

[@user-ne7ky1lw2r]

the smiling part is so hard considering i try to make everyones day better. A smile always helps so I always appear with a smile to brighten peoples day :P

[@TheSpearkan]

Vid #4 of trying to request a video highlighting the following topics: 1. What you can do if you can't access therapy. 2. Signs your therapist might be harming rather then helping your mental health. 3. What to do in life situations that a therapist cannot fix.

[@metalchemik]

I'm waiting for such a video for a some time too. It would be truly helpful, not only "informative".

[@Psych2go]

These could be helpful topics. Thanks for suggesting!

[@wyndl88]

2:00 minutes in its eddsworld....I love eddsworld

[@user-rd2px2io2b]

A Cheeky smile, , kindness ,good manners, Humour, loyalty, affectionate, dress sense etc.. no alcoholics, lady beaters or deceit in my life thank you. Sadly, my smile is limited to a tight lipped one as a few years ago, I suffered a stroke/ Bells Palsy and my facial features changed for the worst. My loyalty for my “ someone” remains in tact though. Also my deep heart❤

[@billwalker1000]

The person who’s doing the voice has a really nice one and it’s so soothing 💯👏

[@blaney1014]

I’m currently in a good relationship and am very worried that I’ll mess it up somehow, I’m watching these videos to find out what not to do

[@lisamoran8425]

Just be you if they dont like you back whatever you dont need them you only need yourself to be awesome

[@non-existent4717]

Always communicate with them - about anything like that expecially

[@shellbell3356]

If your relationship is healthy, you won't need to worry about messing up - everyone makes mistakes in relationships, after all. If you really are worried about it, talking to your partner could be a good idea! But only if you feel safe and comfortable.

[@1000OtherFoxes]

@@lisamoran8425 Ya but people need to reajust sometimes, saying random "be who your are, you are perfect"' also prevent people from reflecting on themselves which is crucial because nobody is born perfect, every decision we make carves your personality a bit more and it's important to always take a step back, be honest with ourselves and adjust ourselves.

[@solonada9602]

Withdraw yourself from all those distressing thoughts of the probability that your relationship could possibly split asunder and implode, and instead-just be yourself. For someone who is truly fond of you would never deign to deride you nor disapprove of you, nor reject you just because you happened to make some mistake or raise an inconvenience in the midst of the relationship. And there comes to be nothing wrong with that whatsoever, unless that mistake turns out to be one too grave to be forgiven, which is one that can never be indeliberate or committed without any priorly devised plan.

[@NurikoChocola]

Knowing difference between being proud vs arrogant is vital. For some people who doesn't usually have things to be proud might boast about their success for a while

[@bandzu69]

Thanks for the advice! Also, nice idea using Eddsworld to use as an example for “Love Yourself”

[@rhealowe8871]

YOUR STYLE IS SOOOO GOOOD!!!!

[@MultiChrisjb]

It's weird to be taught scientific concepts like you're a small child in a breathy voice. But I'm sure some people enjoy it.

[@fungai327]

2:27 eddsworld reference

[@loletsgo1342]

Omg That’s what I thought

[@loletsgo1342]

It is LOL

[@cecilianquy]

LOL yes!!!

[@liam6808]

Lol

[@meg9953]

Contractive body language is something I've done subconsciously as a woman whenever I didn't want the attention of certain people around around me. Especially when around men I was feeling uncomfortable around and was trying to be noticed less by them. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has done something like that subconsciously while feeling uncomfortable or feeling the need to protect themselves in that subtle way.

[@OuroborosGD]

iS ThAt a EdDsWoRlD ReFrEnCE?

[@YEET_THE_TIGER]

IT ISSSSS

[@Sploinkss]

I WAS HOPING LTHERS WOULD NOTICE

[@abdo13otaku]

Yeah 😭❤

[@Laas_play]

Hello who are You girl ? I have been watching your videos for so long but never subscribed. I love your voice so much . Even when im in pain , Your Voice makes me so calm and happy . I love You ❤

[@alexandercederberg8186]

fact number two is actually really cool. I read about MHC molecules in Philipp Dettmers book "Immune" (recommended if you want to learn about the immune system in a fun way) and I was mindblown. As mentioned in this video, they make the body smell a certain way. smell is a big factor when you're falling in love with someone. the body also thinks your siblings or those closley related to you smell "worse" in a love-sense to prevent incest. I think there are two types of MHC molecules and I cant remember if both affect your smell or if its only one.

[@zephyrias]

Lmao interesting. XD

[@thespiritofhegel3487]

I am attracted to someone I can have a deep and interesting debate with. 'What are your views on logical positivism?' is one of my opening lines.

[@Anonymous-hx3pu]

I'm attracted to people who don't get overly emotional over meaningless things, and will let me speak my mind without getting hurt/offended and then blow up about it.

[@itsdre3895]

That's how you don't get bitches

[@Lilacandviolets]

This

[@Soyed_Boy]

man now im going to have to look up what that means so i dont feel stupid.

[@zephyrias]

@@Soyed_Boy right. To the dictionary

[@PriceMw123]

The key to getting in a relationship is to take care of yourself. If you can't self-motivate, then do it for your future partner! It's a beautiful thing, and it should make you happier in the long run. Good luck out there!

[@graleh]

Love the voice! Perfect for meditation.

[@Not_Ciel]

Attraction is definitely more than skin deep. Physical appearance may be the initial spark, but what’s inside is what keeps you bound to each other. Looking back on past partners, they looked like the most attractive person in the world at the beginning of the relationship. Once I got to see the real them and realized we weren’t compatible, they no longer seem “attractive” to me. Human attraction is bizarre.

[@gameplaydesigner7329]

Hii!! Do you know what the background music name is?

[@Vex331]

2:52 That was a bit specific...

[@woahachannel]

I love that the "love yourself" part is a complete eddsworld reference. Absolutely love it.

[@TreeSawse]

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE EDDSWORLD REFERENCE AT 2:06

[@NathalieLazo]

You are LOVED ✨ You are STRONG ✨ You are ENOUGH ✨ Remember that. Love - Nat ❤️

[@familiebutterfly7661]

A few days ago I watched the movie "The Help", a wonderful movie. A nanny and maid said that to a little girl all the time.

[@kaysmith4594]

Thanks, I needed to see this today. Blessings to you friend🌹🍀🙏

[@cassieandbradleyalfaroa1936]

Love that movie

[@cassieandbradleyalfaroa1936]

@Sky Blue don’t worry dog. Screw people who judge you and stuff. What they gonna do? Ur enough. You don’t have to do anything great to be a good person. Train yourself to be strong mentally. You can do it my friend.

[@Anonymous-hx3pu]

@@skyblue5220 you can build strength, you can push through without love, and if you're enough for yourself then society can burn, because this isn't society's life, it's yours.

[@jeremiahjamero7362]

2:25 yooo Edd's word's

[@pikachugamer2158]

Thanks for telling me! I'll be trying to change things that I connected with here. btw, 2:10 gotta love the eddsworld reference

[@chimmichurri6940]

For me, ive been sleep deprived since right after kindergarten, For body smell, ive always used deoderant and cologne, naturally dont smell TOO bad, like that weird garlic onion smell, but still use them. For the "love yourself" segment, that didn't come until after highschool, after that though whewee. We take pride in ourself and our accomplishments and dont flaunt it over anyone, only exception would be if someone is trying to shit on me about "knowing more" in a particular subject, othern that, we were raised to be humble. As for the overly smiley segment, i was never overly smiley so idk about that. For the last segment, i was always taught to stand up straight, chest forward, arms a little back, hands forward, and walk like you have "something to do".

[@santtu6930]

Open mindedness and the ability to think things through, even the things you don't agree with, civilly is a huge plus for me. I like people who are naturally curious and respectful.

[@Lernos1]

My humility score is so much in the negative that it actually qualifies as self-loathing. That has to be pretty unattractive too (it was already talked about in a video about things that ruin relationships). I'm okay with that though because I never want to be seen as attractive again.

[@legendarykittijy3239]

:(

[@Suirioujin]

Same, it's been like that for 7 years, and I'm ok with that too, I'm pretty used to it

[@caijon123]

self loathing is also egocentric

[@Lernos1]

@@caijon123 Eh. It is if you pester people about it. My only living relative, grandma, doesn't know about it and I don't let her. Other than that, I live alone. I don't need attention to my self-loathing, it's just my most probable pastime when no one's around. Otherwise I just try to smile and be helpful.

[@caijon123]

@@Lernos1 it doesn’t have to be that way!

[@pompyy]

Whenever i'm around someone always smiling it makes me feel more comfortable fr

[@drgordon9107]

2:29 I love how you used Ed, Tom, and Mat in this picture

[@SearaChar]

2:06 is that MATT EDDSWORLD?

[@albinya]

ITS IS :DDD EEYYYYY

[@xavled7944]

YOOOOOO

[@zeasokawaii]

I was always so tired and I would at ppl like im dead and some kid had a crush on me.. Ill take that being tired can SOMETIMES to DIFFERENT ppl will make you attractive

[@SaeshaShah]

same with me

[@Lisalepou]

Yeah all my friends have insomnia

[@darkprincessanimation]

The sentence make no sense

[@Andres.Duran.J]

​@@darkprincessanimationprob because she was tired

[@darkprincessanimation]

@@Andres.Duran.J if she was tried then why did she wrote the comment? It doesn't make sense really.. -_-

[@OlaKale]

I agree that some habits may make you look unattractive to the general audience. But, in your daily life, you do not have to be all good to go to be in action. Just be yourself normally. When you're under the spotlight, you're the point of attraction, be casual and as much well-mannered as possible. Keep in mind, you do not have to change your mind, thoughts and be a complete different person, just change the outer presentation.

[@tgxsyE]

I think ever since I've been getting into phycology, I've been able to know when to back off or keep talking. It's been helping me be more welcoming and.. approachable?, i guess would be the word =)

[@defenderofwisdom]

A problem with the body language thing is that there is no relationshio between crossing your arms and pushing people away. So if a possible partner infers this from your body language they are essentially putting words in your mouth. As healthy partners we should endeavour to accurately understand another person so as to know them as they are. Rather, going about modifying your body language based on other's interpretations would be a form of self-harming people-pleasing. You want the people who will love you for who you are, not for who you change yourself to become (with the exception of harmful behaviours.)

[@victoriavaldivia515]

I get what you're saying, but I'm not sure I agree 100%. I'm autistic and have behaviors that at first glance seem rude, such as not making eye contact, and that's just because that's how it easily gets interpreted, I'm not trying to be rude. But I can't expect people on first meeting to flock to me to try to understand my mannerisms or overlook them when they don't even know I'm autistic and what that entails, especially when I know how it may look to them. It's up to me to relay that information to them if I want to possibly establish any kind of relationship. It's not on the other person, and making the change to look them in the eye even if it makes me uncomfortable doesn't change me as a person. I'm merely adapting enough to let them feel welcomed in order to connect.

[@defenderofwisdom]

@@victoriavaldivia515 I get what you're saying, I just guess I'm at a point where I think that kind of inner-monologue is a kind of internalized ableism broadcast at us by neurotypical social norms and instead we should expect our diverse array of unique quirks to be explored, understood and accepted. We don't deserve to contort ourselves into the forms we are not because others are neurotypical and expect likeness. No, you deserve better.

[@defenderofwisdom]

@@victoriavaldivia515 Also I totally did not mean to mirror your "I get what your saying..."

[@Mariewolf_94]

body language is incredibly important and crossed arms, body turned away from the person, no eye contact, hunched posture, etc have ALWAYS been seen as being unapproachable and/or that youre disinterested in what one has to say. yes, sometimes we cant help our posture or body language because of certain health conditions, mental disabilities or traumas, and, in those cases, you cannot always take one's body language at face value. that is why communication is key in relationships. if you have a physical condition that forces you to be hunched over due to chronic pain or you have autism that may cause you to act inappropriately in social environments, as two examples, it's important to communicate as much to your partner; this is especially important if emotional/mental trauma is involved. in that way, if your body language seems closed off, your partner will not think negatively of it because they know it isnt your fault and they can help you in any way they can to help you improve or alleviate your pain (in the case of physical disabilities). theres also ofc the fact we are unaware we're scowling or have our posture presenting an aggressive attitude. we tend to relax into a posture that feels most natural and comfortable to us (which also may or may not be related to our inner, psychological selves) and we dont mean to come off as rude and/or disinterested. in those instances, we have to be told "Hey, you're crossing your arms again, relax your body" so we can get out of that habit and show a more open, welcoming posture. i agree someone shouldnt always take another's body language so seriously and/or personally, but it's still very much a factor in one's presentability as well as attractiveness. so long as you communicate, everything will be fine 😄

[@defenderofwisdom]

@@Mariewolf_94 *seen as. Well believed in the business community. Well debunked in psychology and intelligence gathering. Often this belief is as I said just putting words in someone's mouth. Misperception treated as reality.

[@Browser0666]

2:12 - 2:30, im so happy, you put Eddsworld characters in this video! i havent seen anyone put them in a video like this in so long 🥹🥹

[@westsiderecordss]

these videos give me reasons to try and better myself

[@deborahdefelice8692]

Agree with most of these except that when I was younger I was found to be really pretty. Of course most of us never see that when we look in the mirror but now that I am 68 ( I was blessed with good genes) I didn't start to look old until around 60. But life decides it for you. If you've had a very stressful unhappy like then yes you will look. Im learned to try to accept aging and be proud and show the wisdom you have earned by walking through life's path.

[@songilangston3688]

I think the most number one thing that makes you unattractive is manipulation and false pretenses

[@meowboxfoxandfoo9895]

4:18 bro I naturally cross my arms bc it's comfortable damn

[@pixelatedbunnies]

“being sleep deprived and having a closed posture is unattractive” *today is a good day to be aroace*

[@NoName1.07]

this not only made me feel lonely but also made me realise how toxic the cashiers i meet can be sometimes