6 Ways Too Many Men Mess Up New Relationships (Don’t Let This Be You)

[@Fc-cb3tn]

1. Overthinking 0:28 2. Being too available or over-eager 2:16 3. Moving too fast 4:32 4. Neglecting personal growth 5:37 5. Oversharing too soon 6:35 6. Being inconsistent 8:10

[@RobertTaylor-gz2fu]

Does this all apply for casual?

[@StalkedHuman]

Courtney is great. I come from a home where I was scapegoated and traumatized.. and have been working poor 2nd class citizen black listed by the CIA..

[@ghosttheprogram6973]

Thanks

[@ghosttheprogram6973]

@@hike824-9 you're probably coming off as desperate, hanging around the wrong women, rushing your stages, delusional about your attractiveness or a combination of these things

[@albundy7794]

@@hike824-9 Stop lying to yourself maybe?

[@williamt1579]

Overthinking is caused by the pressure from society that men are supposed to do everything for their date.

[@cur244]

Yup most women are along for the ride. Men have to lead and plan everything indefinitely.

[@cameronvaughan7576]

But woman also wanted to be treated as an independent boss…makes no sense in this current day and age

[@michaeljjt1976]

Overthinking is caused by watching too much social media and YT videos

[@perpetualdios5505]

​@@michaeljjt1976 Kinda like a paradox right 😅

[@shaolinotter]

"the advice we gave men last month is now a crime but I dont understand why he's nervous"

[@michaeloreagan9758]

My last "situationship" literally wanted me to talk to her all day everyday always asked me to come and stay over. Wanted me around every second of the day and night. Then all of a sudden i became "too much". Sometimes women dont realize the role they play in someone's attraction

[@Ggliddy34]

This video demonstrates why dating is pointless-it is like trying to defuse a ticking time bomb. One wrong move done easily blows the whole works. An impossible situation for mere mortals.

[@koolandblue]

0:24 Over-thinking trap 2:16 Being too available or eager (3:31 Betterhelp Sponsor Ad) 4:32 Moving too fast 5:34 Neglecting personal growth 6:34 Oversharing too soon 8:10 Being inconsistent

[@RobertTaylor-gz2fu]

What if you're aiming for casual action?

[@StalkedHuman]

​@@RobertTaylor-gz2fu then you should stay away

[@Cystchewer]

So to summarize: not being perfect

[@bobxbaker]

6 ways women are being overly judgemental for no good reason but to disqualify men so they can keep being single. obviously if it's eggregious its understandable but more often than not women make too much of a big deal over nothing. trust me, if she's not dying to be with you just give up and let those bullshit excuses she gives you just trickle off you like water on a goose because that's all it is, bullshit excuses just simply because she doesn't really like you all that much, atleast not in comparison to some other dude, there's literally guys out there not even trying and women are falling all over them. why do you think you have to try that hard just to be liked? as they say someones garbage is someone elses treasure.

[@JamesE.O.]

Yep it’s a justification to not communicate. Rather than ask what’s going on in your life and what your schedule is like, they’ll try to glean from your texting frequency what your life is like just like some self absorbed arm chair psychologist. It usually just shows that they are less reliable communicators and probably whatever texting frequency they have with their friends will be the arbitrary measuring stick they’ll use to judge your texting frequency. If anything a lot of this feels like it’s applying to deluded women from 2+ years ago vs today. Today I get unmatched by girls if I don’t respond in less than 12 hours. 2 years ago I felt clingy with my responsiveness but now I feel it’s the opposite. Nothing has changed apart from the fact that young women have hit their limit on how much they can exploit apps and social media so know they are doubling back on behavior that used to give them the ick because they now know they can’t just assume any guy who shows interest is going to keep showing interest so now clingy behavior is becoming more attractive to women.

[@monkeybrutus116]

Theres a guy i like and am not sure if he likes me back, the only problem is we go to the same (religious) event that is like every other month so we dont see each other that often. LAst time i saw him, i tried dropping hints, not sure though if he got it and just doesnt like me that way or just didnt get it. Hes pretty open and talkative, however im not sure if hes shy. Now my question: I have his phone number from the event group, can i just text him and ask if he want to hang out ? Or is it frowned upon as its encourages that the man does the first step? What do the guys say? I‘m the average girl, pretty but not outworldy beautiful, however i do sometimes get asked out by guys. I‘ve just never tried taking the first step myserlf.

[@bobxbaker]

@@monkeybrutus116 well it kinda depends on the guy, but just getting the ball rolling regardless is a good idea, the thing is you probably don't know if you like him in a real sense because you haven't spent much time with him. there's a massive difference between seeing someone everyday and know every good and bad detail to them and the other is just being interested in them because of how they present themselves outwards. so there's 2 ways you can go about it, first one is to get to know the guy on a more platonic level first to see if you're still interested in them despite what you might learn about them, the other is just taking a chance because it's just faster. these two options will determine how you need to approach him as one will jumpstart a relationship and the other is growing a relationship which takes a bit of time. you can text him and ask him to hang out, but understand this, he doesn't know exactly what you mean by hanging out, it's either a flirty invitation or it's simply an invitation and he doesn't know which, so be careful about that (the new generation really made it confusing). but i'm a little bit old fashioned so how i think is a good way for you to make a move fast is to simply get physically close to him and straight up be flirty with him because at that point he can either play along with your flirtatious antics and he's just gonna play straight into your hands and you escalate at the pace as you are comfortable with, but if he's not into you or simply can't for some reason he will just pull away or not play along with you and that is how you can tell when to give up on him. you can't really be too subtle either about it which is the part that sucks because it's more nerve wrecking to be that obvious, but you have to be because even if he can read into it and be right, he might not let himself believe he is right because he doesn't want to be wrong about it. but in short to dispel some fears for you, if he likes you, you can't really do anything wrong unless you go do something eggregious like kick a puppy or something to that effect, and well even if you do that some guys will still like a girl so the worst thing that could possibly happen is that he's just not interested in you, but if he's even remotely interested in the possibility to be with you he won't turn you down for a silly reason like you making a move on him. so it's really just up to you how you wish to handle it. understand this, it's ok to be annoying or an inconvenience to others, because if people never were then people would never get anywhere with anything and nobody would find the one that they didn't mind being annoyed or inconvenienced by. if you got anymore questions i'm willing to try and answer them, otherwise good luck.

[@ajtaylor8750]

It's better to mess up and do better next time than to overthink and end up messing up anyway. Trust your instincts.

[@CourtneyRyan]

❤️

[@franciscocolin2008]

This is where self-awareness is a big thing

[@michaeljohnson6019]

A good friend or family member or a church pastor if that's something you're into would probably be way healthier than a therapist for the average man. Just my opinion. Smile.

[@ghosttheprogram6973]

​@@michaeljohnson6019therapy isn't structured for the average man

[@johnra80]

@@CourtneyRyanHi Courtney, Sorry to bother you. I’ve watched some of your videos and subscribed to your channel. I have a question I hope you can answer for me because I figured you would know. I know you pretty much covered this before but I was hoping you can tell me directly. So anyways there is a girl at work that I like very much and I’m 44 and she’s 23 and she works in the office and I work in the shop so we really don’t see each other much but when we do I started smiling at her and saying hi and of course she would too in response and of course that’s how it’s been for a time. So recently they have been sending her out to the shop once in awhile to help clean and organize things in the parts and every so often I would try to make small talk with her and asking her how she was doing and told her that I loved listening to her talk and her accent. Well one day I was in the furthest bay of the shop and she came out to help clean and supposedly was told to go sweep in the same bay I was in and mind you I was by myself in that bay working on some brakes and there was like 3 aisles of where she could of swept in and she happen to of sweep in the aisle I was in and of course we did make a little small talk and another one of my coworkers came over to chat and after a couple of minutes I stepped outside to vape a little bit but she then too where I was and we were talking a little bit more but then for some reason she had to run back to the office and I was thinking to myself I hope to see her again because I was really liking her. Well after about an hour I was working she did come back and started talking to me more and of course I was smiling at her and listening because I’m not much of a talker anyways and she was going on and on about her personal life and plans on going back to school and of course the whole time she’s talking I’m watching her body language. She would turn to me or turn to the side a little bit. She would look at me but she would look away anytime her gaze was matching mine and then she started playing with her hair a lot and pull it back almost as if she was going to put it in a pony tail but not. So then she got a little closer and lean back on the tail of the truck and trailer that was seperating us in between. After about 30 or so minutes she came out and was like I’ll leave you alone to get back to work. I told her no worries and that I liked listening to her anyways but then told her I was going to lunch anyways as she was walking I grabbed her attention and told her I really liked her a lot and she told me thank you. After that day I didn’t get to see her much because she can’t really come into the shop unless she has to but when she did I would try to chat with her as much as I could without it effecting my duties and one day the following week the day after my birthday she was organizing the parts and I gave her a note wrote to her expressing my feelings to her. I know it’s kinda childish school stuff but I express my feelings more on paper. She smiled and took it but I didn’t get to see her afterwards the rest of the week and I started to panic thinking she was going to turn me in to HR so I was worried and waiting to be talked to and I even was crying because I wanted to see her which in turn I think I fell for her and I couldn’t stop thinking about her and I’m still thinking about her even now. After a few days of crying and miserable days off I was so scared that I came off as a creep and that I scared her away which I didn’t want to and I thought maybe she was too uncomfortable to come back in the shop again. The day I came back from days off I went to lunch and I came back to clock in there she was in the parts room talking to a coworker about some plans in the department she looked at me as I was walking by and smiled and of course I had to smile back I was so excited to see her again. I saw her the next day for a second but I was a little busy at the time and she was talking to one of our new guys. Now just this past Friday I was in my bosses office waiting to get another truck to work on she popped in his office inquiring about some time card from one of my coworkers and we smiled at each other again. She decided to hang out for a minute chatting with me and my boss for a little bit and then got up to go back to her office and right before she went out the other door we made eye contact and smiled and she waved at me to say bye. So I was wondering? I’ve been out of the dating scene for quite a long time and I don’t know if she feels the same way about me as I do her or is she just trying to be friendly? I was hoping you would know something to put my mind at ease? It just bothers me that we don’t get to see each other more and chat more and I really want to because I really like her a lot. Please can you let me know and I’m very sorry for this long message. I know it’s a lot to read. Thank you so much.

[@ModernDatingMastery]

*Recognizing potential pitfalls before they happen is key to avoiding common mistakes. This is essential viewing for anyone wanting to start off on the right foot in love!*

[@hyabusa22]

Easiest way to avoid ALL of these mistakes is to have your heart shattered multiple times by women who’ve told you they love you and been with you for years and have them break it off because of the “grass is greener” mindset promoted on social media. Then you won’t care, like I don’t and if it happens it happens. No one person deserves “queen” or “king” treatment. No matter how much they say they want it. They will get tired of it eventually, mostly women, and move on.

[@danteprice1874]

Exactly bro this happened with my sons mom and a couple other girls i took seriously n was trying to build n lead with Love n respect. Eventually bro treating a woman right consistently with no drama is the same thing as administering poison to a child bro … n it sucks you cant unlearn or unsee that life is really what it is regarding women and relationships and loyalty n purpose. If you got any type of moral compass or integrity or loyalty bro its not even worth the risk anymore. As long as Love is based on a condition its not real love .. i see n hear women talk all the time most of them dont even like love or are truly sexually attracted to they boyfriends and husbands maybe … maybe 10% of women actually love n want the dude they got with the rest of these ppl sleep walkin goin thru the motions it scared me off from trying again .

[@123Ir0nman]

Only needed it to happen once for me, and it was barely a 5 month relationship too.

[@Theviewerdude]

There's a healthy level of indifference and non-reliance when it comes to women.

[@dstern86]

I would say going overboard to impress your date rather than showing up as your genuine self is the main obstacle men face on the first date. Another important topic, keep up the great work, Courtney!

[@BloodyHeck]

Unfortunately, as much as women tell men to “be yourself”, they still expect to be impressed.

[@johnanderson1245]

That makes sense. There’s no point in faking it because your true self will come out eventually anyway.

[@DonovanAenslaed]

"being yourself" only works for women and Chads. Average men still need to put forward their best self, all the time. Women do not expect any less, anyway.

[@SanVic]

If you're a hot bad boy, you can go overboard to impress your date as much as you want and women will spread their legs for you.

[@hasanjamil3969]

This is the best and most important advice. I wish I had seen this video earlier. Thanks so much for sharing.

[@MikeIver-y3e]

Overthinking is a logical outworking or result of the current “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” dating scene, or “culture”. If men experienced an overarching sense of grace rather than condemnation, there would a lot closer to zero overthinking. Never truly zero, but closer for sure.

[@wcg19891]

Try the “I don’t give a dam if this date works out or not “ approach and your dating will vastly improve

[@SanVic]

If you're a hot bad boy, you can overthink as much as you want and women will spread their legs for you. They'll even make excuses for you overthinking.

[@cakedupkevin]

👏👏👏

[@MikeIver-y3e]

Thank you for the compliment. Glad it resonated with you.

[@ponokunishima1]

Great video! After being single for over three years, from a 5 and a half year relationship, and slowly talking to more girls and approaching them, it’s good to watch this and many videos like this and keep re watching them so you’ll understand; once or twice isn’t really enough, keep on watching them.

[@matthewaldrete5267]

If she doesn't like my interest level that's on her not me, I don't care if I'm "doing too much" if I respond to a text within 5 minutes of people sending that to me. I won't trample over myself to be available to her, but I also am not gonna try and hide what I'm truly feeling. That point kind of forces the person to overthink, doesn't it?

[@Harikejn]

Important things: 0:23 First Thing ÷ The Over-Thinking Trap; 2:13 Second Thing ÷ Being Too Available Or Eager; 4:29 Third Thing ÷ Moving Too Fast; 5:32 Fourth Thing ÷ Neglecting Personal Growth; 6:32 Fifth Thing ÷ Oversharing Too Soon; 8:08 Sixth Thing ÷ Being Inconsistent; and 9:54 to summarize all the told here. What you have told there Courtney for men how can they mess up the relationships, similar things women can also mess up the relationships (honor exceptions to those who aren't behaving like that, either we talk about men, or women). Additional things what can also mess up relationships are these (few of them can be also seen in a long term relationship): Seventh Thing ÷ Not Paying Attention To What Your Interlocutor Says (in this case the dating person) (either is it a male, or female); Eighth Thing ÷ Showing No Empathy For The Things When Someone Is Struggling For Somethings (or if they have problems, for example); Ninth Thing ÷ Too Much Exaggeration When Thinking How Will Be In Future (but it can be also partly be told that in first thing that you have told). The conclusion are in 2:40 (to have balance in doing things); 10:01 (get to the root why do you do these things). Also additional conclusion is this: Go with the flow.

[@DDD11239]

A colon symbol work better than does a division symbol.

[@Harikejn]

@@DDD11239 I understand that, but I have mentioned that in native language that I speak, the division symbol is also a colon symbol. Also I when I use the colon, I'm just trying to tell some things a bit more accurate, and precise as well.

[@Mew__]

Points 1 to 4 are all symptoms of a *scarcity mindset,* which also leads to anxious attachment. Say nobody has ever shown interest in you. Then, you finally meet someone who shows that they do consider you like someone they might be with. Naturally, you're going to be highly anxious about this person ever leaving, because it's so rare that anyone shows interest that you have to do everything you can not to scare them off. You start overthinking about all possible ways they could be repelled (1), giving all your time to them (2; 4), and try to rush things (3) so that their feelings don't get the chance to wane (perhaps because they start to see "the real you", whom in your mind is unlovable). There's that saying that if you put your goals above women, you will have both, whilst if you put women above your goals, you will reach neither. You create abundance by not focusing on creating abundance.

[@xjoemallardx]

That last sentence is interesting.

[@vandalosalvaje9957]

Unfortunately, I'm an overthinker and that messed up my last interaction.

[@kenrickbautista6141]

1. Overthinking has always been my biggest enemy. I really hate thinking about what I've done and I hate worrying about what might happen. Also, I hate when it seems I haven't really listened. Perfectionism and self-doubt can be really crippling. It's like what Taylor Swift says in "Anti-Hero": "I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero". 2. I wish I wasn't too available, but the thing is: I literally have no life outside of work and gym. Like..., at all. I have no friends and, sometimes, my family is too busy for me. 3. I really wish I didn't have to be fast, but, sometimes, I'm not patient. 4. Not really sure if I really did mature or gotten cynical over time. 5. Yeah, I really gotta see that my girl is just my partner, not my therapist. Otherwise, I drain her mentally. 6. I really hate this "playing hard to get". It's so stupid. I'm always serious, loyal and honest when it comes to anybody in general.

[@DDD11239]

2. Put effort into your hobbies. Bury yourself into a book, textbook, computer code page, writing, etc. Do something educational.

[@kenrickbautista6141]

@@DDD11239 yeah, okay. I'll do that.

[@raul3494]

Most of the things you said is very relatable especially about the perfectionism and self doubt part.

[@kenrickbautista6141]

@@raul3494 thanks

[@cally77777]

Are you sure you're not overthinking this?

[@Ezilla82]

Yeah, I'm overthinker, too. It's like a rollercoaster ride inside a tornado. But working on that and other things that Courtney mentioned even though some are sorta optional to me.

[@LunqCharlotte]

Fantastic video My five-year relationship ended a month ago. The decision to part ways with the love of my life is something that truly consumes me. Though it's all in vain, I've tried everything to get him back, and I can't fathom my life with anyone else. Even though I've made every effort to quit thinking about him, I can't help but miss him and can't stop thinking about him. Why I am stating this here is beyond me.

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

I learnt the hard way that saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult when a 12-year relationship ends. But I was unable to let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counsellor, and he was able to assist me in getting him back.

[@LunqCharlotte]

Interesting-sounding! How can I most efficiently get in contact with a spiritual counsellor that you recommended?

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@LunqCharlotte]

I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked him up online. striking I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤

[@Newgrist]

All this applies only to a girl that you like more than she does you. If she likes you more, you can make a lot of mistakes.

[@cakedupkevin]

You'll also definitely know that she likes you and wants more because she will show you and communicate to you effectively.

[@BryJovi17]

Meanwhile, there's around 600 ways that women mess up relationships, predominantly driven by their feelings in any given moment 👌🏼

[@Someonne_dot_com]

Mostly

[@Someonne_dot_com]

I just love when Courtney says " No Thanks " ❤

[@OptimisticRealizer]

Don’t over share boys! Women always say be vulnerable, but it is the worst advice ever. She will quickly lose interest in you and think you are emotionally unstable for a man.

[@Baheieujlsksnen]

Please don't talk about past relationships or exes. Eww

[@ElevateMyRelationships]

There is a bunch of truth to what you’re saying. Have to pay attention to her actions not what she says. Great comment :)

[@Nathankinamorh]

Sharing goals you are working towards, are really the only "Vulnerable" thing she should know. Cause you gonna have to communicate what you are working towards anyways.

[@ElevateMyRelationships]

@@Nathankinamorh good point. You working towards those goals helps keep and raise her attraction as well

[@JD_Mapes]

As someone returning to the dating scene after being in a relationship/marriage for 13 years, I’ve noticed that I tend to overthink things because there’s so much noise about what not to do. It feels like there’s more focus on avoiding mistakes than just being yourself. The obsession with identifying red flags is overwhelming-like people are hunting for reasons to disqualify each other, instead of appreciating the interaction for what it is: two humans connecting. Honestly, it blows my mind how approaching someone has become so scrutinized, instead of being seen as a simple, genuine act of interaction.

[@ad6394]

Courtney, thank you so so much for recommending the book Attached. I finished it in three days and am going to reread it again. This explains everything about what’s going on with my relationships. Spot on! I have a lot of self analyzing to do. Thank you.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Oh my goodness, it’s my pleasure! I’m so so glad it helped ❤️

[@davidramsey2629]

I feel that you are beautiful, intelligent, wise, good, special and I love who you are. You are earlier in your journey so contine on your way, believe in who you are, be careful when compromising and any changes you make do them to make you stronger and reinforce your beliefs. I also can only imagine that who you are on the inside is a mirror reflection of the beauty you show on the outside. I wish the best for you and that you have an awsome and amazing life

[@jamesmann4501]

Great to hear you talk about attachment styles. It was sooo helpful when I learned about them.

[@youareawonderfulman]

The simplest way to avoid all these mistakes is to let your heart be broken a few times by women who claimed to love you, only to leave because of the grass is greener mentality fueled by social media. Then you’ll reach a point where you won’t care, like I don’t, and if it happens, it happens. No one truly deserves “queen” or “king” treatment, no matter how much they say they want it. Eventually, they’ll get tired of it mostly women and move on.

[@Hardcase94]

Best dating tip ever. Just focus on yourself. Walk away from dating. Dating and marriage nowadays is a joke. Marriage: You're in bed with the gov, and divorce is a killer for men. Dating: Women have so above and beyond goals for what mens standards should be (men have those same crazy standards too). I'll blame society and social media for that. Im 5'8 i hit the gym and take care of myself. Own my own places (rent bc im military). But i live alone. A woman once told me i was great but too short.... she was 5'4. She wanted 6ft. So i did away with dating. Especially after my ex cheated on me.

[@MarkaNgamer]

"Early stages of dating" - I stopped counting that as a relationship to begin with. Those are basically try outs aka "let's see if it goes anywhere or just fizzles out like usual".

[@anthonyjordanmoviesandmore2470]

Can't mess up a new relationship if you don't get in one to begin with

[@heikojakob6491]

Love is a war game. The only way to win is not to play at all.

[@mangosrepent1817]

Lmao i am an idiot

[@RobertTaylor-gz2fu]

@@heikojakob6491 How do you get action?

[@familyengineering5591]

Escorts

[@heikojakob6491]

@@RobertTaylor-gz2fu You can just buy a hoe for an hour, you don't have to marry a hoe. But you'll have to pay either way for the fun.

[@durandus676]

My girlfriend stopped messaging me for about a week. The package I sent arrived and her parents managed to contact me using the contact info on the package to let me know she was in medical care and didn’t have her phone. I was way overthinking.

[@Nathankinamorh]

Rule no. 1 Life is chaos.

[@douglaspearson4853]

For me I do not have an opening line. I like to work off the moment. Actually its easier for me. Overthinking, Being to eager, Moving to fast I learned the hard way. I totally agree with you. Later on in the relationship I think taking a vacation together has been an eye opener for me. Things do wrong and how she deals with that is can make or break a relationship. Not a problem for me as I take the path of least resistance. Things happen fix the problem if you can't make the best of it and move on. I don't like over sharing but if someone askes I do not hold back. I agree with all you said.

[@eli7527]

It sucks feeing the subconscious need to be “perfect” but its an upside knowing that we really care about life. The thing is life cares about us too and is endlessly abundant and will keep providing

[@eli7527]

Courtney you are cool af

[@ElevateMyRelationships]

I hear what you’re saying. You don’t have to be perfect though, you just have to be confident and true to your own purpose as a man. That brings women in to your aura. Nobody is perfect, women certainly aren’t. Don’t put them on a pedestal. Respect is mutual :)

[@eli7527]

@@ElevateMyRelationshipsthat’s a great way to put it yes! Agreed

[@ericfrom8508]

Just had a successful first date last night. Vid came at just the right time thanks Courtney.

[@motozealot5176]

a much needed video i definently make myself too available and rush too often. Video came in at a good moment so thank you!

[@CourtneyRyan]

So happy to help!

[@ElevateMyRelationships]

It’s a huge mistake guys, including myself for a long time, make. We are basically taught to try and woo a girl since we were young. What we were taught versus their actual response psychology are two totally different things :)

[@danteprice1874]

@@ElevateMyRelationshipsthis is why i grew up to hate my mom

[@paulgiarmo3628]

ALL women are addicted to chaos and drama, Courtney. (@8:25).These are all things that women CLAIM they want, as they're hooking up with "Bad Boy Chad" at 2:00am. And then making tearful TikTok videos the next day, SMH.

[@dreadwing1784]

She's the perfect teacher !!!!!📈

[@albundy7794]

Don't overthink things. But here's six things you better seriously think about or you'll screw everything up. 😂

[@ElevateMyRelationships]

Lolol I laughed . Honest truth though, main key is to not put a girl in a pedestal and go at a slower pace than her. No matter what they say, psychology they like having to win the guys approval.

[@israelss]

Great advices, since I’ve followed your videos I look a lot better but not only on the outside with good outfits, also improve my character and my dating experience has improved a lot! Even a couple of times women have hit on me on the streets and my current relationship is just going so smooth

[@CourtneyRyan]

Aww so wonderful! Thanks for sharing 🥰

[@tyronpouncey5985]

I don’t regret anything I did in my previous relationship, however ,I acknowledge that maybe I was a little over eager , and definitely moved too fast . We definitely rushed it

[@symbiat0]

Basically don’t think too much, don’t care too much, be cool if things don’t happen, don’t expect anything much, don’t assume you’re moving forward at all. I know, it sounds like you shouldn’t give a shit 😂

[@cjanquart]

👍👍

[@davidgloberman3098]

Way too much work and thinking. I'm getting a dog. Seriously

[@mr.mayhem7402]

Remember all the rules, all those do's and don't's, but don't overthink. You couldn't make this up.

[@thegrimharvest]

Don't not do what Donny Don't doesn't not do, except when he does, but also dont not do that either. But remember don't overthink it and just be yourself. Hope that helps!

[@John.Skelton]

YUP! I LITTERALY CHECKED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE BOXES IN MY RELATIONSHIP WHICH IS NO SUPRISE WHY I RUINED IT AND SHE'S GONE NOW.💔😭

[@paulmensah6780]

2:00 This part really spoke to me. Thanks Courtney ❤

[@handlebar4520]

can't mess up a relationship if you've never been in one.

[@jc4evur661]

...at least your consistant!

[@davidgloberman3098]

Exactly.

[@SoupArchives]

Please do more videos pertaining to newer relationships. I think it would be much appreciated to hear about topics related to how to maintain and approach a new relationship. Thanks, Courtney!

[@sanitary103]

Good morning Courtney! Happy Sunday! Hitting my workout while listening to you in the background has been my routine for a while now.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Aww love it! Have a great day 🥰

[@RonaldGibson699]

Hi Courtney, I always like to plan things out -- it is just my nature. I feel that this has helped me in many areas of life. However, I'll be the first to admit that it never in in the dating area! Hoping that you have a great week ahead!

[@CourtneyRyan]

You too my friend!

[@Redman50]

Attached is a great book. Another great book is The Five Love Languages

[@SaintStrength0]

Fantastic advice.

[@Concrete_Man2000]

Great video Courtney! Word's of wisdom beautiful 😍❤️

[@CaptainWillard830]

Fellas, it is important to think, even overthink, if the woman you are attracted to is worthy of your time. Screen to disqualify. If she’s a college student, college grad, a single mother (who is not a widow), doesn’t believe in God, and/or has a large social media following…don’t bother All of the tips Courtney shares are good. Just keep in mind to NEVER put a woman on a pedestal. You are the prize 🏆

[@alwaysemployed656]

How about if she has a pulse and shows vital signs? Would that be okay to date? I really don’t think necrophilia is something I would want to try, kno wha ah mean, Vern?

[@CaptainWillard830]

@@alwaysemployed656 definitely don’t be perv and stay away from the 💀 ones. Especially if she was living her best life in high school, college and on girls nights out 🧐

[@dgwaters]

I wouldn't mind a girl who graduated from college. At one point some of the girls I tried to date barely graduated from high school.

[@alwaysemployed656]

@@dgwaters That guy is weird. What guy doesn’t want a girl with a decent education? I'm 100% sure that I have never been with a woman who didn't have a degree or was studying to earn one when we met. It would make me feel better knowing that if something were to happen to me, she would be able to easily move on because she has a professional degree.

[@CaptainWillard830]

@@alwaysemployed656 why? Unfortunately, the great majority of college educated women today, have unimaginably significant body counts. They are unlikely to be able to pair bond. They are masculine and unlike men, have been trained to seek out men who make more money than they do, as future husbands. She’s also more likely to initiate a divorce. This is especially true if her husband makes less money than her, and/or has a low status job or career. Women don’t think about their mates like we, who are men do. We are attracted to the nice lady who check us out at Target, or serves us some nice Thai food. Don’t get me wrong, college educated or not, she’s still going to give the goods up to a 6’ or taller, Chad or Tyrone, after a night out with the “girls.” Why? Women love the bad boys, even if they are felons and dumb as a box of rocks 🤵🏻

[@dominicdragon8267]

Hey guys, I'm a 20 year old guy in college that commutes. I realized that when commuting, its tough to make friendships. I've been trying to get a girlfriend for years. I've never had one before. I've tried dating apps, there all garbage and did nothing for me. I need advice and tips. I just feel weird for never having one before and everyone around me has one.

[@danielmontero8200]

You & I share a similar boat. I'm 19 & don't have a girlfriend either, wish I did though. Best I can suggest is to get a job, have your driver's license, your own vehicle, & go to places where you know it's more likely you'll find women your age. I tell you to have your own vehicle that way you can drive anywhere you want when you wish. And if you're in college, to the girls there. Communicate, build social skills. You'll eventually start seeing improvements. And when you feel you're ready, keep searching for the one. Best wishes from your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!

[@Brendan-05]

I’m just hoping to get a date. Today’s my birthday (53) and I’m celebrating alone again. Will keep trying, hoping to get a girlfriend by Christmas. Can’t keep going being by myself forever.

[@Martin_Priesthood]

Nice 💯. .🎉🎉🎉🎂.

[@xjoemallardx]

Gotta ask to receive. Don't move too fast, don't move too slow either.

[@Brendan-05]

@@xjoemallardx thank you, trying all the advice I can get.

[@Martin_Priesthood]

@@xjoemallardx true. . yeah take care

[@solarjudgement4575]

Go to the Philippines, can score a date/wife between age 18-40. Just remember to have prenuptial, which is something all of us men should normalize across the world.

[@chipwhitley9407]

I avoid all 6 by simply not dating. 👍🏻

[@Atlas65]

It's really good advice, Courtney, which I have made the mistake of not following in the past, more then once. Like the one on moving to fast. But you know that women can also be guilty of that one, of wanting to move on to fast, talking about future plans and so on

[@WileeRunner42]

When sharing don't trauma dump. Remember to equal share.

[@ROMAPPO12345]

It is the best way to practice my english listening skills))) 😂 thanks a lot)

[@andreschusan6086]

As a soon-to-be-ex-husband and after watching your very informative topic I have decided to pass, I don't need any 'femme fatale' to make me content and much respect for looking out for the fellas, you are very sincere and cool.

[@chrislim7976]

Men are hardly overthinking in the context of women. Let's be honest. Dating a woman is a glorified job interview.

[@tommygunn6901]

Id rather mess up and own it than to overthink every move and mess up everything. Ive been on both sides of the aisle.

[@cally77777]

I think most of these points can be summed up to: 'just relax a bit, be yourself, and if its meant to happen it will'. That pretty much should rule out 1-3, due to not pressurising yourself. Also you won't feel the need to do 6, because you aren't trying to force the issue by game playing etc or behaving very differently from normal.. 4 should also be okay if personal development is something you do normally ... which really it should be, especially since it should ideally be something that comes easier to you. 5 might be an issue, if oversharing is something you tend to do. Maybe just be aware of that one thing, if it seems a problem for you. Its likely gonna be obvious when it happens. Otherwise, just try your best to chill. And maybe watch Woody Allen's film 'Play it again, Sam' for what not to do! (If you can get hold of a copy)

[@stormmaverick85]

Don't overwhelm her or be inconsistent. Let things happen naturally. :)

[@NexWalkthrough]

Courtney, can you please make a video dedicated to the man that has his looks, style, and finances together on how to approach women and get their numbers to set up a date. You have made many videos that overlap or even have the same exact points as previous videos. Show us how to really secure the bag, otherwise, these videos dont matter.

[@cjanquart]

That video would be of limited utility because that sample size would be fairly small. Your three points of looks/finances/style remind me of the fire pyramid, where you need all three conditions for combustion; no fuel or heat = no fire, no heat or O2, no fire. Most guys are the same way.

[@bcb2555]

Need to keep it simple at the beginning and work your way into it Courtney your stunning looks in your videos always show respect for yourself which is so important when you first meet someone

[@JMQA1]

Men, if your struggling, remember a relationship is about you & her. Treat yourself, treat her. If you're not into it, don't drag it on. Be honest with her and yourself

[@tonkatruck5858]

#7 Not getting into a relationship with someone that shows signs of incompatibility, especially moral. If you ignore a key foundation component, it WILL come up later. You have to grow a spine and ask unconformable questions in the beginning, sooner than later. Most people are more inquisitive at job interviews than relationships. If these things are dismissed, they could potentially end a relationship with kids and financial ruins in the future. Yolk equally. The moral divided is only growing. Set your boundaries early and never compromise your morals. If they don't like them, then they're NOT for you, or you for them. It can actually attract them by showing confidence and strength, opposite of desperation.

[@lawrence31415]

Excellent video and topic, Courtney! I recently put myself back in the dating scene, and your latest videos on dating and relationships will be extremely helpful to watch and learn from. I'm slowly putting myself out there, but I know that I'm ready to look for a good woman, and in good time, establish a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship with her!

[@ElevateMyRelationships]

Good luck with it Lawrence! Always exciting to be back on the dating scene. Just remember, you are a catch as well and the women need to be vetted. It’s fair for both people to bring their best selves :)

[@lawrence31415]

​@@ElevateMyRelationships ​thank you for the warm encouragement and friendly reminder! Putting a two-year long pause to dating was one of the best things I could have done for myself in terms of professional and personal development. Not sure when I'll meet "the one", but I'm ready to give my best during this dating journey, as well as see what new things I learn along the way!

[@ElevateMyRelationships]

@@lawrence31415 that’s amazing you recognize that, a lot of people don’t take the time. This guarantees that you will have great things ahead, and you will meet that woman that compliments you, you are already complete in your own way and experiencing continuing growth. love to see that mentality :)

[@ElevateMyRelationships]

@@lawrence31415 it’s amazing that mentality. Great things will come :)

[@thesilentknight4554]

I'm unfortunately now in the hookup lifeline. Most female are picky. Too picky. Or get bored easy. But most female I've met have no issue rolling around. They won't settle, but agree to be a snack. It's what it is. It sucks, sorta. But at least I get to meet many different people. Win, Win! No hurt feelings! And yes, I'm very safe with intimacy😁❤️👌

[@ace_sabo_luffy__7742]

Morale of the story. Dont need someone. Teach yourself to not need someone then you will get what you taught yourself not to need..

[@Redsentinel27]

I agree with this video Courtney! One thing that especially stood out to me was unnecessary ambiguity. With this one, I recently encountered it with a woman on a dating app. (Oh boy lol.) One question I have is when a woman does this right after saying she can't wait to connect further and then immediately goes cold, never responding after simply asking if she'd like to talk on the phone sometime, what is that really about? I'm asking purely out of curiosity here, as I have too much self respect to put up with mind games and unmatched with her before long, but the behavior interests me because I want to understand the reason for this type of person's actions. I want to hear from a woman's perspective. Thoughts?

[@cortesimerci35]

Its an app, there is no personal connection, there are billion possible reasons , dont waste your time on thinking about things you cant control.

[@megalodon1726]

When a woman suddenly drops you after initially acting interested, it's usually because she found somebody else she wants more. On Wednesday she'll say she's looking forward to meeting you, then Thursday she gets a message from Chad and forgets about you. 99% of the time Chad will just pump and dump her, but she won't understand that she's not a top 5% woman who Chad will commit to, so it happens again and again. In other cases, it's because her friends didn't like you. When it comes to dating, women tend to have a herd mentality and they want men who are wanted by other women, so if her friends say "ick" to her after seeing your picture or after meeting you, that can be enough to convince her to ditch you.

[@cortesimerci35]

@@megalodon1726 Good call. Probably its some red flags. If she feels your insecurity or some incongruity or some weakness. Thing is that she doesnt know you well , but if there is a single incongruent thing she will write everything off and assume that you faked it, as people fake everything. Or like you said her ex came back. women do that thing all the time. She has choiceA choiceB and choiceC. As a default if she feels that she can have you anytime you will go straight to choiceC, because women work that way.

[@BigRedBieker]

Damn that really sucks about number two. Whenever I actually do have time to talk to someone I try to get everything planned out and a date going fairly quickly because I only have about a week or two of four days a week 10 hour days and then it’s back to work six or seven days a week 10 or 12 hour days. It’s really too bad. Guess I’ll just stay single.

[@miquearre1776]

How can you not be too eager or act too available and at the same time show interests?? I mean, I know you can do it but it seems like such a delicate fine line between the two.

[@thegrimharvest]

I don't know and I don't know anyone who claims that they know. It seems like a razor thin line, if there even is such a middle ground position. There's no grace given, and none expected.

[@thomaslecour2462]

Interesting what a sweetheart I buried my heart, I raised 2 financially independent daughters as a single father from age 3 and 4. I cared for my mom and dad til there death at home til age 92 and 97 years old. 30 year f/t ups driver, channeled my rage into the gym and work for years, well, woman dug deep and found my heart, I tried everything to resist until I couldn’t, just short of breaking down and crying thinking about her always and telling her, she has gone cold on me, now I just do my best to stay away from her, I just want her to be happy. She is an awesome woman. I just want her to go away, I love her so much, I’m so scared of her.

[@cally77777]

This seems a good example of Number 5!

[@justinmartin1666]

Hi Courtney, Ryan, how are you? Happy Thanksgiving 🦃 from Canada 🇨🇦

[@CourtneyRyan]

I’m great, how are you? Have a wonderful holiday ❤️

[@justinmartin1666]

@@CourtneyRyan I’m okay thanks for asking I love your videos 👍😃🤩⭐️

[@ronm6585]

Thank you.

[@nic1964]

Can’t wait for the next video 😊

[@TomNook.]

Best advice to men - do whatever you want (within the law).

Fuck it, I've given up on women. Since 2011 I've only had sex twice. It's all too complicated.

The woman I like doesn't like me because I'm not 6ft. Tall.

[@allen5323]

Why is it always mistakes men make when dating and never women. Why aren’t women held accountable?

[@thegrimharvest]

Consider who benefits from their not being accountable? Now consider why those who get the benefits would want to stop getting them? If the society and culture catered to you, would you want it to change and be more fair to everyone else? By enabling and coddling one group, at the expense of another, one can accomplish damn near anything that they want, so long as you can keep the grift going. Why would the panderers and grifters stop pandering and grifting to women when it enables them to get what they want, and the women to get what they've been told they deserve as an entitlement forever reparations for "patriarchal" original sin? Put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to give any of that up for yourself? Would you want to stop perpetuating the cycle of blame, if it meant your own gravy train jumped the tracks? They're not going to change because they don't have to, and don't understand why they should want to in the first place. They don't see anything wrong. It's all men's faults, men made it, men broke it, men can fix it themselves.

[@Razear]

Yeah, good conversationalists tend to listen more than they talk. But people who enter a conversation with the intention of impressing an interlocutor tend to only think about what they want to say next while giving very little attention to the person actively speaking. Being overly clingy or needy signals that you have too much time on your hands, but arbitrarily waiting X amount of time before sending a reply is also just as bad. I don't think a guy needs to make it seem like he isn't desperate by feigning busyness. The honeymoon phase often hinders our ability to reason when we're being overwhelmed by emotion. Once a relationship exits the first few months, most of these feelings will gradually subside. Yeah, a lot of people end up revolving their entire lives around their S/O as if it's their only personality trait. But this is something that can plague both sexes. Women are just as susceptible to this. It's like the person loses all individuality when they find themselves in a new relationship. I think most people are innately aware that they shouldn't be divulging every minute detail about their exes or past trauma on a first date unless they're extremely socially oblivious. But I can understand why some may be eager to move beyond surface-level topics, even though this is what a first date is designed for. In fairness, flakiness is more so a female problem. If a guy really likes a girl, he'll bend over backwards to ensure plans are adhered to. It's usually women who do these last-minute cancellations because they know men will grant them a lot more leeway.

[@poeticeclipse]

1000% amazing advice. As a woman who has encountered some of these examples, this is dead on it. I once did a FaceTime date before meeting someone and the guy told me the entire 1 hour story of his parent’s dying within the first 5 minutes. Literally, that was the first date and nothing else came up. It was tough. And I know often times it’s younger or inexperienced men who go too hard too fast and expect something romantic to happen straight away. The simmer and build up is the best part! Going too fast really takes away the fun of having a relationship build and celebrating each step together.

[@CourtneyRyan]

@@poeticeclipse thank you so much for sharing this! Always love your comments 🥰

[@cjanquart]

"the guy told me the entire 1 hour story of his parent’s dying within the first 5 minutes." Damn must be a guild navigator and on a boatload of spice if he can fold time like that!

[@SanVic]

​@@CourtneyRyan Oh please. If a guy is a hot bad boy, he can break every rule you listed and women will spread their legs for him. They will make excuses for him. Why not be honest and say it in your videos?

[@xjoemallardx]

Inexperienced men? That's me, at 34...

[@BigRedBieker]

Going slow is boring and I have ADHD. I will completely forget about her if it takes too long. Just happened to 2 girls this past month. I run wide open 24 seven. If you can’t keep up, that really sucks But there’s nothing I can do about it. My time is limited.

[@BWater-yq3jx]

Honestly if it gets past the 1st or 2nd date, then the 'relationship' pretty much always goes wherever I want it to. However, plenty of my 1st or 2nd dates have gone nowhere, mostly her decision. Thinking about it, they were usually the most attractive ones, like 8+ Getting out of my league. But they were interested/attracted enough to go on that date in the first place, so I guess I f'd up. Probably too keen.

[@cjanquart]

All they probably wanted was a meal or drinks, be there, done that...never again.

[@megalodon1726]

They were interested in the free meal, not in you. Highly attractive women will have different men lined up for lunch and dinner dates 5 or 6 days a week.

[@MythicalMimikyu]

Me watching this knowing it’ll be years before I’m interested in dating again

[@jamescoffman8096]

Always entertaining watching folks get twisted up like a 🥨 over this. I’m consistent in that I never even try to figure this stuff out. Much more peaceful this way.

[@The_Apex_Wolf]

I wish Courtney was my sister I could call whenever i needed advise 😂

[@rudedogtx]

Good video and information. You look Beautiful as always. 😍 😍

[@natthaphonnoble2407]

Not being a multimillionaire at 22 just out of college lmao. Why no girls are interested in guys their own age unless their super influencers or rich or something lmao.

[@cortesimerci35]

Because women are attracted to confidence and experience. a 22y cant compete with a guy in his early 30s its impossible.

[@teklaroma9645]

How about we don't give a shit anymore and play videogames instead? I invite you guys who are done with stupid dating bullshit to play videogames and a round of Mario Kart with me - who wants to join? Pick your controller and go: 🎮 Beer and food is on me guys

[@thegrimharvest]

Hell yeah bro ! I'll bring some fresh homemade pretzels!

[@mr.e1026]

Fair warning, guys. Be very careful about being vulnerable. I promise you, women WILL take what you tell them and use that against you. Some know it's a bad idea, but others will know it's a bad idea and do it anyway. And when a woman tells you that you can open up to them, that's a red flag right there. You tell them nothing that can be used against you. And I don't want to hear any bullshit about how not all women are that way, or that it just contributes to a bad relationship with a woman, spare me. This is the playbook men were handed when women started initiating false accusations against men. This was what you wanted, so you can have it... and everything that comes along with it.

[@cjanquart]

If you speak to women the same way you would speak to a law enforcement officer (and remember the Miranda warning as well at 5th Amendment) you might be called whatever names women use these days, but you protect yourself...just like Mills Lane used to say "protect yourself at all times."

[@cortesimerci35]

The whole male female dynamic depends on man being one head above. A CEO wouldnt complain his workers about his problems , or a doctor wouldnt share his insecurities that he cant perform surgery etc. Women are like wild dogs and are disgusted by weakness and sexually attracted to strength.

[@mr.e1026]

@@cjanquart Yep. But even some of the more menial, yet embarrassing things you've ever done, she may not have been there, but she'll gladly air that to all your buddies if she's ever displeased with you. I think one of the reasons God designed women with boobs is because playing with them is a stress reliever caused by the owner. And if not for the fact that they have vaginas, men would have hunted them for sport aeons ago.

[@foxtrotunit1269]

Please take a look at some of *Hoemath's* videos. Yes his name is Hoemath. He's absolutely brilliant. Literally any of his vids will make anybody's head spin/eyes open.

[@edwardloizides5415]

I understand you state not to play games but what happens when a woman isn’t texting you much and you feel sort of neglected? Do you just move on or ask her why ( say during the first month )…. Not that she became this way but she was always this way from the beginning and still dates you ? Are you being used?

[@chrisandsneaky2453]

Just move on. Don't bother asking her, she'll interpret that as weakness and will likely mock you to her friends or will try to manipulate you. Look at a woman' actions, not her words. If she is not keeping in contact with you, she IS with someone else.

[@ethanlinan579]

Awesome video! I am new to your channel, and I enjoy the rare content. I see that you do alot of videos on what women like. So I want to ask you if you can do a video where girls rate different face shapes? I have not seen any video that has this. Thanks for your consieration

[@claytonelofgren]

The first two are probably the ones most guys do. If you’ve been thru a lot in life it isn’t that un natural to overthink. Especially since girls have different meanings behind questions. As for not over pursuing definitely agree but most girls want the guy to pursue. So it’s a hard balance 😊

[@cjanquart]

Yep, if you've been burned a few times, the overthinking is a defense mechanism and not easy to turn on/off. "Especially since girls have different meanings behind questions." Bingo! Women have pretty much perfected Orwellian doublespeak.

[@claytonelofgren]

@@cjanquart you can get good at not over thinking even in those cases. Or at worst case if a girl tries to ask something like “when was your last relationship?” You can respond with “why are you asking me this?” Or frankly any ridiculous question just ask why are you asking this. You can also rehearse your answers in your head beforehand because there’s really only a bank of maybe 30 common questions or so they might ask. Again I’ve worked for some large sales organizations some of those skills or trainings can carry over to dating. One last thing is even if you fuck up a few of those if the girl is really into you with crazy high interest it won’t matter

[@popofilipo7114]

Well said.

[@djtoxicdhg]

Hope life is treating you well.

[@donaldperrotta8514]

Sometimes we just try to hard .

[@colinmckendrick9803]

Can’t mess up if you just don’t date or bother to work on a relationship either that’s honestly easier and better spent time

[@butchsmith-rt1ok]

I hear you but you can do both. Yes, it is rough finding the right person but its great when you do. It also hurts when it ends. At the end its all great. Heres my advice. Date at least two to three women at the same time until you decide which one you want. Next, i agree with but disagree with her. Have some really good questions and when she answers turn that one answer into a long conversation.

[@solarjudgement4575]

Go ahead and stay single. More women for the rest of us

[@eli7527]

@@butchsmith-rt1okwhat the hell😂

[@eli7527]

Don’t give up man I bet your young

[@butchsmith-rt1ok]

@@eli7527 its called the ability to hold a conversation and dont put all your eggs in one basket until you decide on which woman you want. You think the woman is having one guy at a time?