7 Pitfalls EVERY Man Should Avoid

In this week’s FRIDAY FIELD NOTES, Ryan Michler discusses the seven pitfalls to avoid if you want to find more fulfillment and satisfaction in your relationship. Hit Ryan up on Instagram at orderofman.link/instagram-ryan and share what’s working in your life.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
#1 Ditching your friends, hobbies, or activities for her
#2 Clamming up
#3 Failing to establish boundaries
#4 Not showing interest in her interests
#5 Don't stop courting your wife
#6 Undermining your own credibility
#7 Improving yourself for the wrong reasons
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[@damienclark2928]

I'm really glad I found this channel and movement, I didn't grow up with a father and didn't really know how to be a man. After me and my ex broke up i realized for the first time that I wasn't really the man I thought I was because of the feminine influences growing up in my life. Thank you for giving me some directions 💪🏼

[@Etridamu]

ALL FAX.

[@gmcacadia9973]

You speak the truth. Married at 20 instead of waiting to 25 or so. 53 years of marriage and should've had the fortitude to dump her in the first two years. I had her back but she never had mine. She wants to be on the ride without contributing. Too late since she's in BAD health. I'm the caretaker , which I don't mind. Just married to the stress and her being a b***h.

[@topdeadcenter9396]

Thank you Ryan for being a Father for those of us who didn't or those who did who's father's were passive or didn't care for teaching us what is needs to be a good man or woman. God Bless.

[@glengill8904]

Dog is only thing I trust 100%,he's never lied,stolen,or cheated

[@arcane.ranger]

Mine stole my sandwich once.

[@tonyjk]

Principle difference between a dog and a man, is that if you pick a starving dog and make it prosperous, it won't bite you. - Mark Twain

[@wubbalubadubdub714]

@@arcane.ranger 😂😂🤣

[@anotheryoutubeaccount5259]

@@arcane.ranger It's all talk until animals start stealing

[@anotheryoutubeaccount5259]

@KZbin Is A Punk damn

[@Notbella173]

5 star rating!! Listened to and shared with husband. Thank you!

[@otgguy7282]

Weather anyone wants to admit it or not these words are 100% accurate. I've noticed that any time go through a rocky stage it's usually because I myself have slacked in one or more of these areas. Great advice and reminders always and keep doing what you're doing

[@michellelaudet5363]

Divorce is exactly that, one person drops something then the other one does something other... and then as George Jones says The race is on... both are guilty, both need catch themselves up and change... even if they still divorce. Kids are priority and both parents matter to the kids. Figure it out for them.

[@rwp-artartinthedark3538]

Love your content man I get so much out of it I listen during my lunch break while I walk. I heard about you but not until I read Andy Frisellas book did I start listening more. I went through the 12 steps, got my head out if my ass and started being a better leader to my family. I was addicted to drugs for 7 years and couldn't get out if it. Now I'm free from that addiction which was driven by fear. It took courage and commitment but now I have over a year and I walked through a right of passage. Keep that fire going brother people are listening.

[@reedhill9974]

I don't know if you could swing it, but you ought to try and get Dr Jordan Peterson on this podcast. So many of the things you're talking about seem to line up a lot with principles he discusses in his lectures. I love that he draws on clinical experience as well as psychological data as well as the culture and mythology of the west. To have you guys sit and talk together would be really cool.

[@joshraymond1065]

This reply is my way of liking twice

[@DJDoener]

Unfortunately I only found your channel AFTER the breakup already happened. It's almost 2 month now, where I improve myself, reflected what went wrong and how I can do it better. Unfortunately I still feel like shit. And I know exactly what you meant with "darkest times" as you went through this. I still fight for her though. Your example of how you got together with your wife proves to me that it is possible if the circumstances are right. Wish me luck brothers.

[@alexisvigil8825]

Not sure the reason of the break up, but whatever it was I wish you best of luck whether you decide to stay and fight or take a new avenue and find someone else.

[@htokid7299]

Best of luck my friend, I think I blew my chance even though I fought for it and tried to change. Doesn’t always work out, but if it’s what you want then fight. I pray you get what you want. Peace and love my friend.

[@Stan_mile]

you got this dude!

[@michellelaudet5363]

I wish you luck... as a sister: if you have children with her, NEVER dismiss her to your children. You will just make your relationship with the kids go down the hole, and you destroy them because she can't be anything to them either... you literally turn them into orphans.

[@DJDoener]

@@michellelaudet5363 life is crazy sometimes. I am not back together with my ex, but have a loving new one in my life who fits me infinitively better than my ex. I am completely happy with her and we are planning to be a family soon. So everything turned out to be better than I ever imagined.

[@rodrigosuarez1942]

Great advice. Thanks.

[@samuelschmitt6679]

Great topic!

[@TheShinobi0703]

Appreciate you my man! 👍🏼👍🏼

[@computerblue28]

Great video. Need to watch again to take notes..

[@1515renegade]

GREAT job Ryan!

[@matthewshull591]

Appreciate you digging deep and sharing with the world, man. You're a hero.

[@jakubvnovak]

Thanks, Ryan.

[@smellydan715]

Thank you

[@amosacres5249]

I partially diagree with the hobbies or friends. IF the hobbies or friends are toxic they need to be replaced with healthy hobnies or friends

[@kelgoneimy]

Your podcast is so insightful and there are enough words for me to thank you.

[@adameluis66]

I asked for guidance and I received I ran into a random video of you and subscribed cause you talk real shit and this video definitely describes what I did wrong

[@Beregond1861]

This podcast/channel has always been a wonderful oasis of wisdom for me. God bless, and "...mercy and peace be with you."

[@strengthandhonorbrasil3286]

thank you mr. Ryan for sharing words and thoughts with men who seek help and support in difficult times.Great channel .Congrat's from Brazil.

[@caseymarion7273]

Thank you very much for this, both practical and arching over a lot of life areas. Going to try and put these to practice now

[@dougself4020]

Totally inspiring

[@assiamomouctarloveitdiallo1857]

So genuine and authentic But love ,compatibility & attraction is fondation of every flourishing relationship .

[@mr.coffee5828]

I love this

[@krispeterson1021]

Dude I love you message. I paas it on

[@raularmas317]

Mostly, you just vet for a woman who shares your internalized spiritual values so that there is no major confusion about the direction or balance of roles and responsibilities in your lives. The rest is essentially window dress or questions of style (not really a big deal when considering the bigger picture of a lifetime spent in investing in each other. Now... Questions of substance matter a lot, and should be discussed at length if there are major differences.

[@Griede26]

to improve yourself for another is an inferior motive because that means your motivation for self improvement is validation from others. you have placed more meaning in someone elses view of you than what is healthy. and you will constantly value yourself only that way. and if that validation dosnt come regularly, it begins to undermine you as a person. and if you do it so she will come back, and she doesnt, its setting you up for failure.

[@Zunaw]

I love listening to your podcasts fr. I’m only 18 and will soon turn 19 and I’m already in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for 2 years now and we’re both really excited to start out life together. To get a house together, get married, start a family etc. We talk about our future all the time and our relationship is very strong. We’re both happy and committed to this. I want to make sure that I keep being the man she deserves, so far I believe I am. And even though I don’t have any problems with our relationship I still like listening to your podcasts about relationships because I keep learning and it opens my mind to new ideas. Keep doing these podcasts honestly.

[@KaceyBakerFilms]

Don’t get married yet man. If you love each other as much as you say you do which is glorious (I remember how that felt at that age)… then wait another 5 or 6 years. You owe it to the man and woman you are both yet to be. :) Your whoollle life is ahead of youuuu. 😊

[@Zunaw]

@@KaceyBakerFilms thank you man, I really appreciate your reply. And yeah we’re not getting married now of course. We first want to get our life in order first. We don’t live together yet and don’t have a career. Once we’ve lived together and are financially secure, then we can start thinking about it.

[@michellelaudet5363]

I like the two way street presentation of this relationship issue...

[@edusam666]

This is an excellent episode. Especially in this era in which women are over demonized. So glad to hear this!

[@bobbiestanfield4117]

You loved what she loved!!!

[@bobbiestanfield4117]

Wow I’m so sad that men think this way!!! I do too… I live on a mountain alone with 3 dogs… people need to love themselves first and yes your man should have is own life… we need to help people!! And push them to better themselves

[@bobbiestanfield4117]

We all have our own journey and when someone loves you they would always want the best for you!!!

[@DJHAMON-ir3hr]

Relationships are hard indeed. Interestingly, I have found that men who cultivate a good marriage tend to be good men in general. Trustworthy and steadfast, work ethic, good boundaries… and the other things you are discussing.

[@raularmas317]

It would seem a good idea to actually learn a few things about (your particular love interest's) her hobbies if you want to maintain her interest in you. How present can anyone be in any particular topic of discussion if they never learn anything new about it. May I remind those of you who may have forgotten: Adam(a man) was the first gardener on the planet.

[@raularmas317]

A male who can internalize more of his own locus of control will have the capacity to better influence the outcomes of any project he takes on.

[@scotteley6582]

Yes Sir.

[@joshuaherzog3412]

I’m not married or straight, but everything here is a valid statement everyone should take seriously regardless of where you stand.

[@nathantinsley07]

Legit question. Where’d you get the jacket in the thumbnail?

[@tspice11]

If she cheats….bounce don’t be a punk!!

[@raularmas317]

To know that you matter I dare you to internalize your own locus of control. Then watch how much easier it is to improve your self-care which is eating nutritious food, limiting your snacking, feeling how much better you actually feel because you decide to park the car a few blocks from your destination or where you work you park at the far end of the lot and walk to entrance and climb the stairs instead of taking an elevator.

[@evanmccreary6632]

Is me playing once a week on the PlayStation for a couple of hours with my brother and childhood friend an issue? My wife tends to get aggravated when I focus on playing with them for a while and don’t pay any attention to her.

[@efrainocampo8994]

Once a week? She's tripping bro.

[@Tammy-ds7ro]

Where do you leave rating and review on KZbin?

[@adamgrimes820]

Fuck yeah bro

[@annikadjurberg6762]

Well we tell ya and then you forget 🙄😂😂

[@infj-tguy6275]

I love my gf but im not getting legally married to her

[@sharonberry1958]

His wife dumped him.

[@shaunsheddy522]

Hey quit calling me out! ❤

[@8jgonz]

Around 1400, you don't even care about the construction and build piece of the garden? That's how I get into the garden...sustainability and wood working

[@joec1212]

"Do you really want me to show you my garden"....no I just speak to hear myself talk....cmon man

[@justmeandmy]

It felt so good for her to hear it the first time, the subtext is she's saying "please say it again so I can feel that good feeling again"

[@Thoth722]

Bro you and Kevin Samuel need to do a podcast together

[@zerrrep]

LOL!!

[@michaelvanhorn3271]

Never marry, not worth the risk and the quality of women today just isn't worth it.

[@7.62x39enjoyer]

Just because it doesn’t work for you, doesn’t mean it’s the end all be all for anyone else. Keep your mouth shut.

[@vippsmillennial6336]

@@7.62x39enjoyer Take your comments elsewhere, please!

[@7.62x39enjoyer]

@@vippsmillennial6336 stop getting butthurt because someone here isn’t trying to lead men to a MGTOW path. Act like an adult and not a child.

[@vippsmillennial6336]

@@7.62x39enjoyer As if any of us care about your feelings lol.

[@7.62x39enjoyer]

@@vippsmillennial6336 last time I checked, you were in your feelings about what I had said to someone else. Grow a pair