7 Things You Should NEVER Say to an INFJ

[@FrankJames]

❓What are other things that you should "never say" to an INFJ? ✨Get a 30 day free trial and free audiobook from my sponsor Audible at www.audibletrial.com/FJ Subscribe for more 👉 infj.me/sub

[@esme4048]

Don't tell them they are being too sensitive or they will be even more sensitive and be grumpy usually

[@jillac4428]

“Wow you REALLY ARE an INFJ 👀”... it’s like yes but excuse me 🤨

[@alicekong63]

people always assume that we’re mistyped 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@alicekong63]

“oh so you’re like into theories and stuff? are you a flat earther??” ppl always say this and i’ve never even brought up the flat earth theory in a real life coversation before 😂

[@mariek.474]

" Just chill ! " when I have demonstrated many times that I can't, and won't. 🙃

[@VerveVarle]

"you always look angry" - "I'm not, it's just my face". Story of my life...

[@dinkin_flicka14]

Ikr? And when people tell me to smile more? I smile so much to prove a point that they will get uncomfortable and feel sorry for themselves. Lol

[@VerveVarle]

@@dinkin_flicka14 and when they tell me "why won't you smile?" I go "I can't , it hurts my face" :D

[@marlo2919]

Me too 😆

[@grayfox6930]

I'm not sure if that's an infj thing but yeah this happens to me ALL THE TIME.

[@Admin_A-tg6gk]

This is so relatable, my parents and classmates always think I'm an unhappy person when it's really just my natural face

[@Fangirl_dd]

Why do i see so many people that understand me here and i just feel slightly happier but also kind of sad because I've never meet anyone that understood me like this in real life

[@biniamdaniel5815]

Same! Just know that you are not alone. We are all here on the other side of the mountain.

[@mariposa9506]

Probably because if you met us in real life we would not want to talk about it out loud and would probably all avoid each other due to the possible threat of small talk.

[@xyxxyz2735]

Saaammeee

[@xyxxyz2735]

@@mariposa9506 hahahah that is funny and sad at the same time

[@matthewsmith5169]

I know right

[@maryangier2773]

I was an INFJ scapegoat for a verbally abusive narcissistic parent. Very tough times… 😔

[@thewomanwithnohead]

"You can't like being alone. No one likes being alone." This one will put any INFJ on fire ! Don't you ever dare how an INFJ should feel, or lead his/her life !

[@artinaallen4065]

I totally LOVE being alone...my family/friends cannot seem to get that!!!

[@GrafinVonHopper]

Exatamente. Falam como se nos conhecessem. São presunçosos ao extremo e não se dão ao trabalho de nos conhecer de verdade, mas acham que podem sair por aí dizendo como deveriamos nos sentir ou o que deveríamos fazer com a nossa vida. Dizem que somos muito sensíveis a críticas, mas esse tipo de coisa não é uma crítica, é uma invasão. De fato, não consigo ficar calada diante de uma imposição tóxica dessas.

[@airam-sj2172]

Right on!. I love my solitude to read, meditate and enjoy nature.

[@dayeoniz]

exactly!! i love being alone more than staying outside with people 😭😭

[@infjhuman6398]

My siblings are always...telling me how to feel. They get so ... "irritated with me. That is why I LOVE being by myself. 😊 It just so nice and peaceful.

[@girlingreenscarf7766]

i hate it when people say im fake and misunderstood my feelings and thoughts when i drained my energy just to keep you smiling

[@saba4495]

The worst is from your parents. (Ex. “You just don’t want to do it” “you’re not trying hard enough” “just put your mind on it”) Like telling you who you are when they’re wrong. And you can’t help but get mad bc they should know you better.

[@Neoveezennieee]

I do agree with this in a Filipino household. 😔

[@gizyucmel]

Also "you wouldn't make it, you are not cut off for working that much, you can't success" well I know how much I can work for something I want right?? How could you know that? It makes me so sad and angry at the same time

[@kdegen1871]

Yes, i agree, for me its also worse from parents. "You always let me down" just hurts. "Just let it go"

[@chrysewymer9009]

That first one... I worked somewhere with vague and inconsistent "systems" of doing things. If not for my husband, I would have just noped right out because I was so mad...then made my own systems that weren’t "systems" lol. Winging it means there's a chance for things going horribly wrong

[@arlettasloan6453]

"Can't you just be normal?" ... "Do you have to be so theatrical?" "Do you have to be so dramatic?" "You really overthink things!" (in a tone of voice that implies its a bad thing). Oh, I watched this before and already commented. Sorry! But, I'm going to watch it again and I don't remember watching it before, as I was doing 12 other things at the time. So, these- above- are my things that people have often said to me and shouldn't have.

[@saketpatil8553]

"Why don't you go out more often.... . . . with people?"

[@mrhimo2100]

**Screaming inside** "None of your goddamen business"

[@pyeha6108]

No.

[@lillyputin4147]

My response. Why?

[@ILovePlayingZeldaGamesOnSwitch]

How about NO?

[@user-ii3vn8tn3q]

Grocery shopping counts...

[@alcottchan]

As an INTP I like asking questions and listen to why is it like that as a source of getting to know em and bond with ppl. Aw man, I really hope I haven't messed up yet but issoke. It is what it is.

[@moistheathen148]

1. Wing it. If it's important, I never want to hear that, but if I'm just having some fun, "wing it" is something that incites challenge, which creates excitement. If me and a couple friends are playing a video game, for example, and we need a plan of attack, and someone just says "wing it," I'll probably respond, "this is where the fun begins." But if the cost of failure is expensive, that's a good way to give me a heart attack. 2. Be Practical. I know when to be practical, and I know how to do it well, but it always comes off as an alarm to me. 3. Why do you think that's a good idea? B E C A U S E I T H A S W O R K E D B E F O R E ! ! ! Why else do you think I chose it? I looked at the other options, and this one came up with the best results. 4. I don't think I know who you really are. Yeah, because we really need to feel more isolated. I'm not fake. Sorry for being nice. Sorry for real, but when I get pissed off, I actually become someone else. 5. Do this a different way. Why? I'll do it the way I want to do it. I might change, but don't expect me/force me to change. 6. Don't sweat the small stuff. I tried that, and in the past, it always bites me in the ass, later on. The small stuff can say a lot about a lot of stuff. Also, when we start calling shots long before they happen, it's because we knew they were coming. 7. You ought to be ashamed. Yeah, fuck you too. Don't tell me I'm ashamed. If you tell me I'm ashamed, I'm going to lash out. If I'm supposed to be ashamed, I lash out, because I'm already ashamed, and I don't need other people making it worse. If I'm not supposed to be ashamed, I'm going to question your logic, and then proceed to dismantle your point.

[@sonali.gokani]

5. Everyone tells me not to overthink. But i am meticulous, it matters. For quality. For accurate communication, etc. People have called me names like preacher or grandma time and again.

[@ambrosearts]

I hate it when someone says "Prove your point." I already did my due effort and spent my time discerning the matter and if they don't like my discernment they can stuff it. Even if I can prove my point and I often can, I am insulted and disgusted that they demand more time and energy out of me to convince them. Just do your own freaking homework if you want PROOOF. Even the court of law often relies on reasonable evidence when their is no absolute concrete proof. Do they not know this? Ugggg.

[@NDJunction]

friend: "Don't sweat the small stuff!" ^_^ Me: but everything is "small stuff" that can be solved eventually in someway, right? x: like your break up? friend: o_o ... me: ^_^...so i get to sweat- friend: o_O yeah bro, you can sweat the small stuff...! 🤣i don't play this one in particular; lemme be ME! lmao

[@cian2898]

That commercial break was so infj 😂😂😂

[@mimi19932]

I think I am a healthy balance of practical and impractical. I am very practical towards handling problems, situations and etc. But to escape from being too practical I sometimes zone out and engage into less practical stuff.

[@nadabarghouthi3228]

Thank you.. can’t say no more.

[@wutt9368]

I hate when I get ignored when I try to talk about something that is bothering me or just when someone acts uninterested in general when I share something about my personal life. I never talk to them about myself again.

[@Karina-jb4sc]

I feel the same way! Especially if I’m hanging out with friends and all they wanna do is talk about themselves and don’t care about anything you have to say reallyyyyy annoys me and causes me to never wanna talk about myself with that person and then they wonder why they don’t feel like know us...

[@doubleu1446]

Hate it when people just straight up ignore me when I tell 'em whats bothering me

[@wutt9368]

@@Karina-jb4sc oof I feel youuuu

[@wutt9368]

@@doubleu1446 honestly.

[@eljaykayaye1186]

I've heard so much lately from both sides , the person overwhelmed by someone's problems and needs a health break and the person feeling uncared for or unheard. Only human and only so much energy these days. I listen to Jackson Browne These Days. Life is hard but also worth living. It's o.k to say. I don't feel heard please listen is this a good time to talk. Someone will be there at some point. Have patience but squeak your wheel if you so choose.

[@annam8983]

Worst thing to say to an INFJ: Omg you’re still thinking about that?! 🥺

[@middy8012]

I’m kinda guilty about this cause I pretty much hold grudges to people who done bad things to me and I can still remember what they’ve done to me.

[@VixeyTeh]

My best friend once asked me "why are you even overthinking this?" And I was like "have ya MET ME???" A little more respect for the supreme Goddess of the Overthinking here!" She laughed so hard she fell off her bed.

[@CyberMinkk]

I said something harsh to my best friend in middle school. And here we are in college, i still feel guilty about it and say sorry to her while she has no idea what happened back then.

[@switch__2254]

and it saddens me like, "I thought you knew me?"

[@lemons1086]

So true

[@mb8456]

As someone who have got INFJ almost everytime I've taken mbti test, I've understood that we infjs care for our loved ones so much that we even are brave enough to stand for them but when we need such a support, no one stands for us. Life as INFJ is very lonely and we get misunderstood and judged for everything we do.

[@your_grandma2441]

I don’t open up to people because I don’t wanna bother people with my problem. Once my ex bestfriend told me to try to open up to her and i gradually did... Only once.... They said "The world doesn’t evolve around you". Dude I just aanted your presence that time. I'm by your side all the fucking time, throwing my works behind, making you my priority. Huh... That's how gradually I understood I was just being used/ we had trauma bond. Basically I was her therapist. She can't take a joke but I HAVE TO take a joke.

[@dianaruff3571]

Yep spot on

[@howyduinyall7653]

Wud’nt wanna b a different type tho wud we?

[@땡땡이-p1v]

Omg 😱 that’s was me 😢

[@puspadewirahmawati6414]

This one is so true

[@geensjc]

“You’re so quiet” “Speak up” “Get involved” “Come on, socialise” “Consider coming out of your shell more” “Why are you so quiet” “You’re so fussy” “You’re so picky” “ Put yourself out there more” “You need to be more confident” “How are you going to have kids if you’re so anxious” “Don’t be awkward” “You’re a quiet achiever but we need to focus on your brand”

[@LatinaChef1986]

All of this, for real! As I of lately I have been getting this. Ugh.

[@GopherwoodExpress]

"Speak up" is the most complicated phrase because it insinuates they care about my opinion and value my ideas but at the same time it can make me feel like my quietness isn't enough and therefore my value gets placed on my words instead of my presence

[@exo_nct_wayv_redvelvet]

my god I relate to this so much... why do they think being quiet is wrong? extroverts want people to talk all the time and are extremely loud. small talks are so boring to me, it's not that I'm quiet but if I have nothing good to say I prefer not saying it instead of just saying "really?/yes/no/good /great/LOL" like, it doesn't add up anything and just extend the long small talk ...

[@merlinjames5954]

My heart..

[@exo_nct_wayv_redvelvet]

@Stxrs_Fxrever agree. esp "coming out of the shell more" like, this... is... who... I... am... though? 🤔

[@Makacoke66]

When I announce a decision (move, divorce, whatever), and they say, “That’s so fast! Have you given this any thought?!” * yeah. For the last 3 years. I just didn’t run it by you or anyone else.

[@vegasrenie]

Karen Smith - Yes!

[@kiskadee321]

OMG so much this

[@PeleLua1]

Yes yes yes !!!! This !

[@sk_abstract_art]

And have thought through every possible idea/option...😬 yup!

[@ukitkatcello6306]

So me, man. Overthinking and brooding until it’s all perfectly worked out......

[@alyannan2845]

“Don’t be so sensitive it’s not that deep.” Yeah to INFJ it’s all deep.

[@LouiseYu502]

Someone: *calls my name in a not so happy tone* Me: Oh no. What did I do this time?

[@AnnafromHungarylvNW]

With the profile picture though 🥺

[@kurobunny]

Wow.. literally me every day.. kinda sad actually..

[@francedc4247]

Same huhu

[@sinaehmann6756]

Everytime in the office!!! Soo uncomfortable and paranoid

[@kronercyisotp3403]

Me😂😂

[@laurenmonica2181]

The worst thing you could say to an INFJ: “You’re too sensitive.”

[@WatchtheWaters12]

Omg i agree 💯! I had someone say that to me yesterday and I lost it! Worst thing to say ever!

[@yonathanrakau1783]

Is it a bad thing to say it when its true? If you cant stand that when its true it means that you cant handle critizism well and thats not a good thing

[@dbnd2240]

yonathan rakau exactly

[@blackjaxx2420]

@@yonathanrakau1783 i know right...

[@yonathanrakau1783]

@@VeuTrox either do i eventhough im a thinker type but i suck it up, harsh life has led me to get used by things like this somethimes you need to be forced of something you dont like in order to be stronger its not just an oppinion its a fact, and i dont think people like these are INFJs many INFJs are mistyped usually INFJs love harsh truth and considering majority of INFJs are just other types obsessed of being special or just taking mbti without learning about the theory i can see all the shits happening here

[@sheyna6058]

"You should be ashamed of yourself" Infj: Dies of shame and thinking about it for the rest of their life.

[@jackieocean3511]

Sheyna If anyone told me that EVER, they are straight getting punched in the face. JK 😅 But I would shame their ass straight to hell. Ain’t nobody gonna judge ME. PERIOD. 😆

[@quintuplebanned4267]

Sheyna okay, uh, no. That’s not a permanent state. You grow out of this pretty quickly as an INFJ, so, take heart.

[@mantecada5660]

Me

[@Jpow915]

Sad but true

[@stephieann6541]

Immediately triggered

[@randomasshumanbeing2078]

“I don’t think I know who you really are” Neither do I.

[@kenny-ps7xb]

i really hate being told i'm selfish when i'm always considering other people's opinions, likes and dislikes lol

[@user-fz7nt5ge3o]

I try to tell people I need alone time. It can be very hard for people to understand. I am sorry they tell you are selfish.

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

Whenever I hear that nowadays, I take it as a compliment.

[@rosanadeoliveiramoraes5405]

Always helps/do your part and takes other people's needs in consideration. That one time you don't do it: "You are so selfish". Still hard to deal with that instant guilt tho.

[@avsambart]

Being told I'm selfish worries the fuck out of me cos I'm like 'i think about other people ALL THE TIME'

[@clownvibes]

@@rosanadeoliveiramoraes5405 Ugh this is too real. And once someone says that, you end up questioning all those times you were selfless and wonder why you did any of that. I honestly feel like I clowned myself whenever someone tells me I'm selfish. Like really? What about all those other times I put your needs before mine?

[@aubreebethune1674]

For me, it’s “Shut up.” People have no idea how much energy it takes for me (such as trying to gather confidence or planning what I’m about to say) when I choose to say something. When I give my input on a situation, it means that it’s important to me. When someone instantly tries to shut me down by saying that, without even trying to understand why I’m saying what I’m saying, it REALLY gets to me.

[@lolkayleen2757]

That’s why I’ll never tell a person to shut up even if it doesn’t get to them as much as me

[@BloodyMary420]

I felt this. No one should say that to anyone.

[@Harukaluin19]

Sammmme it really makes me boil to the core I almost punch someone

[@kierafaelacabalse3737]

Accurate

[@alans1404]

Yeah I hear you there. But with experience in these kind of issues I find they arent worth the energy. Instantly the wall goes up and conversation ends.

[@user-do2ls3jx3m]

Infj: Let’s be more spontaneous and healthy! Other people: Hey let’s do this new unplanned thing. Infj: *N O*

[@Gio-sx7kt]

That totally sounds like my conversations with my roommate.😂

[@toffyy33]

The story of my life lol

[@nicotien6746]

😂😂😂😂

[@umsrum]

this is making me wonder how infj and enfp get along so well lol

[@dariafrench3147]

Litterally me

[@12345directioner]

I’m an INFJ who grew up with a very critical and shaming father. He used to refer to my younger brother and I as Danny and Dora dumb shit. This has plagued me my entire life. I did very well in college and went on to obtain a Masters degree in Oceanography, but never believed I was worthy or smart enough. I am 60 years old and still hear my fathers voice in my head sometimes.

[@jannawalters232]

So sorry about that! Your Dad doesn't define you. Tragic he lived that way.

[@RelaxCreatorMary]

I feel you 😓

[@thenightporter]

I am just a few years younger than you and am in the same boat.

[@thirstonhowellthebird]

Me too! I can totally relate. How could they have been so cruel and demeaning, I just will never understand.

[@jonny1943]

Well he was a shit dad, probably pretty usuall in his generation but never the less, his hurtful words has ZERO weight for you, he was wrong and youre right.

[@ThrifterPickerShipper]

As an INFJ I literally panic and hate it when someone says, "Why don't you decide?" or "You make the decision." I don't want to do that. First of all I'm happier when you decide because I can adapt. Secondly I have no idea if what I decide will make you happy or make you uncomfortable lol.

[@Fire_Amervi]

i relate so much :(

[@mysteriouscat1098]

No...theres no reason for me to relate to this, why do i relate so much ;-;

[@djelbert23]

Spot ON! Happened tonight.

[@PegasusBYU]

Bingo!

[@callmehambin]

SAME

[@yvfrvn]

my friend : wow u look so beautiful . what skincare did u use ? me : ahh thank you . i just- my friend : looks uninterested me : finish what im saying and never talk to them again

[@protorhinocerator142]

When I was at Dover there was a guy who would do that to me. He would ask me a direct question and then after 3 seconds lose interest in my answer and start looking around. I kept talking. At first it was actual answer stuff but then it was just rambling filler. This would last a while, so I really had to tap-dance to keep talking. When his attention swung back my way, I would end the speech with, "...and the firemen had left by then. But what was I supposed to do with all those elephants?" I would walk away before he could ask any follow-up questions.

[@EazyMurphy]

Every time thats why i avoid people to avoid wasting my energy on surface lvl conversations.

[@라라-k7n]

When people are complimenting me, I usually just ignore it because I know they are lying or didn't mean it or just making small talk. And ended it with, "Are your eyes okay?" Haha

[@shazia7586]

This happens to me always..ALWAYS😑

[@anamikaojha2645]

Exactly always happen with me 😔

[@prettykittiecandie5909]

INFJs also can't stand seeing rudeness or oblivious people, that annoys me so much Oh yeah, thanks for all the likes :3

[@anjithaa4521]

Yes

[@Plushtrapxy]

yes

[@daniellewalker256]

I’m telling you, I need an INFJ. (I’m ENFP)

[@prettykittiecandie5909]

Oof, I just noticed my comment sounds a bit like I'm some snob, no, I am not, just to put that out there. Well, I hope I'm not at least.

[@trickstersenses]

@@daniellewalker256 hey I’m an INFJ, we can be friends :)

[@darkspice6339]

You INFJ's are so pure and precious. Literal gold in my opinion. Never stop being kind my loves. You all have my heart. Even tho we might seem a bit insensitive and heartless at times just know we INTJ's appreciate you ❤

[@donna4350]

A compliment like that from an INTJ ❤ You just made my weekend. Live long and prosper, friend.

[@darkspice6339]

Aww no probs haha I would love to have a close and real infj friend instead.

[@mysticpotatoza9328]

I hate being an INFJ, I envy 'T' types

[@lindagarcia8826]

Darkspice Your are too kind 😊

[@just-sayin67]

Thank you!

[@sallybradshaw4576]

Me, an INFJ: I'm spontaneous! How dare you! Also me: *has a Google Doc with a list of possible activities to do with friends, what to talk about, who to invite, and what movies to watch based on who's there*

[@Ay.--]

I cant believe how accurate this is!

[@Abue52]

Same

[@Abue52]

I have them but never do them

[@geokid3026]

Same man

[@mihayuli]

That is a great idea! omg

[@avsambart]

Let me just add: When people lie in front of INFJs and they think they're getting away with it. NO. We know you lied. We're just not pointing it out because you've just lost any and all respect and effort from us.

[@doubleu1446]

Yup! That's a door slam

[@AnnMarieKing]

I wish I could like this 50 times over!

[@geensjc]

Exactly!! And I hate when you tell someone this and they respond with “you should’ve called them out on that” when it’s like, why would I? Losing my respect is enough. Why waste energy doing that ugh

[@Nessainthebuilding]

@@geensjc YES! OH MY GOD! Perfectly said! Once they've crossed that line they're no longer worth the effort

[@michellemcmichael4680]

Like

[@kauaiank4537]

The worst feeling is when you don't think anyone understands you

[@protorhinocerator142]

I would try to be funny here and ask you what you mean by that. But... you know.

[@Amreva]

👊

[@psychicdevelopmentexercise]

yeppers peppers

[@Davi-sprt]

Especially going to school and being rly pumped about something, going into full description etc. And the teacher’s like: “👁👄👁 yeeeaaah... so red and yellow make orange”

[@zwolf2453]

I relate to this

[@shank.7590]

It’s very hard for me to open my mouth so when I feel like people don’t care about what I say by not paying attention to the conversation, trying to stop me half way, not listening to me until I finish the sentence etc., I will just stop talking immediately and automatically shift my head to somewhere else. I’d rather talk to myself than talking to someone who doesn’t truly care about me.

[@cavemanrob]

Same.

[@robinbrewer681]

I understand this completely, it's exactly how my social interactions go. I just shut up. People talk over me as I'm speaking. So I sit quietly with my own thoughts and half the time don't even pay attention to others in the room.

[@gargervon8697]

My first boss in programming had this problem with me. When I would have a question (I was a junior programmer, just out of a 3-month crash course on C# and having to learn JQuery on the fly on the job), he would let me ask it, but then he would think he knew where I was going before I had finished speaking and try to address my question before I had really asked it. I am grateful to him for a lot of things, so let it never be said that I thought he was a terrible boss overall, but this was a big tension point between us. Often, I wasn't thinking what he thought I was thinking and would answer a question I wasn't asking, making it even harder for me to keep my train of thought on the rails. Shoot me down after I am done speaking if you must, but at least give me the dignity of having been allowed to finish.

[@AgnesJani-w1k]

Same. It’s a gift and a curse.

[@peace5647]

Wow!!! Yup!

[@KC-li8sv]

I'm an infj and I don't like being blamed for something I did not do.

[@turtlie7309]

Most people don’t lol

[@Annat4r]

I am also an INFJ and this annoys me like nothing else

[@nigerundayo1996]

Mega Man ikr it makes me lose my shit more than anything

[@starlamoon286]

Yes but I think that bothers most people. I mostly struggle with not getting too defensive because people will say since you are being defensive that you must be guilty. No, I'm just offended that you think I did something I didn't do lol.

[@PeridotCentichannel]

Fr

[@jenniferbattleman3334]

T types to INFJs: "You're too emotional." Other F types to INFJs: "You're cold."

[@2xcrzkxk]

Bingo

[@LevenLyfe]

Unfeeling and uncaring!!!! Yes I care but how is your problem my responsibility?

[@Britneyspears482]

INFJs are not too emotional. They are usually mad and paranoid.

[@jenniferbattleman3334]

@@Britneyspears482 it's all about p e r c e p t I o n

[@dawnpowell7930]

Yes! All the time. It’s annoying.

[@bingbongo9500]

INFJ’s are amazing thinkers and have some of the best ideas but often have trouble finding the words to say it. People also like to to talk over them and assume an INFJ’s silence equals stupidity 🙂

[@lrwiersum]

Putting our thoughts into words. They don’t have words for most of my thoughts.

[@amyphillips9846]

I always want to (and often do) say, “let me just draw you a picture.”

[@ShellStein93]

This is 100% true

[@ogmickeydiamond]

Stupidity or shyness/lack of confidence!

[@newgenerationanpanman7870]

Don't make it an INFJ thing tho. Speaking out correctly in public to be heard is important. I wish I had learned this earlier. Keep practicing and you'll get better♡

[@karenreiter533]

This is a great list for sure. I would also add: Don’t tell an INFJ that you are disappointed in them. We take all kinds of measures to prevent people from being disappointed in us. This statement would be truly hurtful to us.

[@BlakChloVer]

Personally, I detest it when someone says “Oh, I don’t remember saying that.” What! Am I making it up? Nah. I listened to everything you told me because I care but you data dumped pertinent details of our conversation? Gah! 🙄

[@planetcaravan4040]

Same. I hate it 😤

[@beccaswoorld]

Yup that's my husband xD And honestly me as an Enfp I forget a LOT what I exactly said so that's a common fight lol

[@franm47]

@Jessica T. that's more of an Si thing actually

[@mistressofstones]

I feel like my husband has no memory at all. I discuss previous conversations with him and he never remembers anything he has said before or what he was thinking at the time. But he is istp so I'm not sure if that is the reason why.

[@planetcaravan4040]

@@mistressofstones I think that the istp don't know how to interact emotionally with others because Fe is their inferior function. The INFJs are practically the opposite of them. INFJ: Ni dom, Fe aux, Ti tertiary function, Se inferior. ISTP: Ti dom, Se aux, Ni tertiary function, Fe inferior. My brother is an ISTP and I am an INFJ. We do not see the world with the same eyes.

[@turningoutthelights5645]

Does anyone feel like they’re going through an existential crisis all the time?

[@havenmanlunas4409]

🙃🙃✊🏼

[@pastelpink1234]

yes.

[@rizkydemasarjunanda9887]

sure...

[@MerianeDawn]

turningoutthelights 😭😭😭

[@Gio-sx7kt]

Sadly.

[@klutzkoady4996]

I love being able to scroll through the comments and be able to relate to everything everyone's saying

[@victorianicoleballos8791]

Omfg Same

[@ANA-vc7gg]

Me too 😊

[@kgaief9498]

I relate to this.

[@Webs.x]

Relatable. Nice to belong to a type of community and not feel so alone sometimes

[@linzyjohn7787]

Same

[@alexandrialeonora6542]

For the INFJs here, I have a question about when you were a child. Did you used to get bullied in school? Also, did you always stand up for your friends when someone tried to bully them, but find that no one stood up for you when you were the one getting bullied? (And you didn't stand up for yourself either, thus taking the bully's words to heart?) Just wondering if that's a common experience we INFJs share.

[@stefsteph3960]

I am not bullied in school. But most people do misunderstood me

[@thursdayray]

As an INFJ i was never bullied but I always stood up for people who were bullied. And altho I was friendly with everyone not everyone was friendly with me, like for example some people would ignore me when i asked a question or would rather hang out with “cooler” friends. However that didnt mean they bullied me and i didnt really mind HAHAHA

[@cassiebennet4262]

Absolutely. I remember my little sisters enemies were terrified of me. I didn't know this until years later. I myself was horribly bullied. I never stuck up for myself but I doggedly defended everyone else.

[@everenrae9005]

I wasn’t bullied, but I was made fun in middle school. I’ve always been good at standing up for my friends, but when it comes to myself I never knew what to say to say and would just cry or embarrass myself.

[@ikaru5089]

I was bullied and I also defended people who were bullied, even if they weren't my friends

[@Thicc4080]

Never tell an INFJ anything negative. Because if you do that they will remember that dreadful moment for the rest of their lives........help me

[@xmochilove]

it then also gets added to the files in your head that your brain picks out at night for you to think about when you are trying to sleep 🙃

[@nats92lilac]

That is so true unfortunately

[@Thicc4080]

@@xmochilove I might have to report you for exposing my night time activities smh get out of my head

[@qu0thraven]

@Gary Bradburn - You stole my comment, man! ;) Good job! :D

[@lamp9359]

Or learn to deal with it :)

[@ranhuan5353]

The most sad thing for me as an INFJ is that when I am talking about things I valued and sharing my findings with other people, especially with my friends, and they're like, "okay, good and have you guys heard about this story..." and start a whole new conversation about things that just don't really matter that much to me and I lost all my interest in participating in that conversation. For me, it is just the saddest moment as an INFJ and it happens many times in my life. And now I don't bother to share my real thoughts to people I don't really trust and earning my trust is really hard, if you do something wrong, I will just kick you out of my world in my mind.

[@juliaostowicz6501]

Aww, that's literally the worst! 😭😩 And of course the classic infj door slam at the end 🤩

[@vikiviachumi6143]

🤓 why do i see myself here .... Theres literally no one, not a single soul who understands me.... The fact that a person with INFJ is really hard to understand is so frkkin unique like we understand people but people dont understand us... Thats just how unique we are

[@geeaird7911]

Yo I know that feeling, like Idk if I'm being too much but one time I realized my friends talking about menial things like their feet get hurts because they step on Lego or something and I thought to myself ohh maybe I should also share about that too. And so the next time when I tell them about how I hurt my foot while riding a motorcycle Idk i was expecting the same sympathetic reaction that I gave them. And when they didn't even felt sympathetic about it and just outright laughed at it and brushed it off to another topic. I just get so mad. Like is it wrong to expect them feeling a little bit sympathetic about me just like what I did to them? And then later on I felt guilty to feeling that way and feeling like oh god I'm such an egoist and whiny girl. Like damn!

[@basilbaby7678]

Surface level people gonna shallow. Consider it a vetting process.

[@darlenegattus8190]

Agreed, that just sucks

[@juliaswierczynska3264]

I would say that another thing that wounds me deeply is: “You’re slacking off. You’re not trying hard enough.”, when actually I’m on my last legs and try to move mountains.

[@Serenity113]

I fucking hate that. Its like, " Do you NOT SEE? wtf?" Like, what do I have to do to make you see that I am trying? Bleed from eyes? lol

[@MaryGarciapapagena]

I feel you...

[@fanime1]

Me rn

[@kwarfkesh11]

Definitely! Almost as bad as saying, “I don’t feel like you’re putting your heart into it.”

[@chrisbova9686]

That is just a sociopath, trying to work you harder. Call them out on it, sociopaths melt when you explain to them that they don't have the capacity to empathize.

[@psalms3-3]

Ive been in a relationship where gaslighting was used on me, and it used to work really well on my personality type until I happened across a gaslighting infographic online and realized I was a victim. I think INFJ’s are very susceptible to being told theyre wrong, theyre misremembering or missing details or their judgement isn’t solid or theyre too emotional. When I finally woke up to the gaslighting I was forced to re-learn how to trust myself, my judgement, my logic, and my thought processes.

[@ccpr15]

Omgsh this almost made me cry. As an INFJ, I’ve been manipulated and gaslit by so many people. I’ve changed my behavior so many times to accommodate others, to the point that I feel I’ve lost myself. Your comment really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing.

[@cc1k435]

If you are an empath, you're naturally going to draw narcissists. It's just part of the territory. Just learn to spot them better. I have decided to think of it as part of the long learning process that is life. 😕

[@katyl1030]

That’s a very important point you’ve brought up.

[@carolyntalbot947]

You may find that with age and experience you will develop an uncanny gaslighting radar, so that even when you don't know for sure someone you're interacting with is a narcissist you will make a mental note when they seem manipulative. You will also likely become more assertive in saying no and feel less compelled to explain yourself to protect their feelings. Be wary, if you have dated a true narcissist it means you are likely an attractive target, with the emotional depth/intelligence they crave. Be well, sis.

[@bozenapiniecka2180]

@@carolyntalbot947 After 49years the "Observing and Experiencing" training programme has been overhauled to the next level of... See the "Red Flag, Acknowledge and About-Turn" protocol!

[@parymah]

"INFJs always just have this anxiety of, I'm missing something. There's something i'm not seeing. I don't have all the information." That's so very true :)

[@horrortales4330]

And they say don't find answers !! How do we do that . There is no switch to turn that curiosity off 😣😣

[@justinag536]

So in reality we do seek information

[@leaht4555]

So so true 😢

[@Lazy_Loria]

Relatable

[@angelm6497]

I think this list has been put out to make you doubt yourselves. You hold onto the label of INFJ and think if this list isn't correct then I'm not an INFJ. Really! Think about it guys and have confidence in yourself! Don't allow someone to put you in a box with false labels. This whole podcast is a complete mind Fk! You see this guy as knowledgeable because he's got a huge following do think unless I accept these traits as listed then I'm not an INFJ. And of course then there is the play on your shadow because the title is things you never day to an INFJ because they can't accept it! It's a loose loose scenario! Don't allow yourself to be defined by a list especially from someone who clearly has issues himself! Do the F'ng Test!

[@kurloveskitties8667]

I think one of the worst things to hear as an INFJ is "you're fake" because we are so concerned with making everyone feel good and be happy that when they say that not only are they attacking your whole cognitive process but it's also like throwing it in your face that you are failing at that, you are not making people happy, they don't like you

[@TheGhjgjgjgjgjg]

I've found people who say that are usually projecting their fear of being genuine with others.They see you being authentic but it makes them insecure so they lash out

[@evahahaha]

I can't even help it. I have different behaviours around my different social groups and whenever someone calls me fake its like I'm doing this for you and now I feel dumb af

[@rx500android]

Oof true

[@kurloveskitties8667]

Eva that is so true, then joining different groups is the worst thing ever because you are a different type of person for every group & you got no idea how to act

[@M_SC]

Eva Linoj it’s called code switching

[@Nurichiri]

When an INFJ makes the effort to tell/show you something do NOT brush them off. When we make the effort to find you and interact with you, it means we value you . You brush us off we don't value you so much any more. (edit for typo)

[@mariamamokete3353]

This is so true!

[@newgenerationanpanman7870]

Happened to me yesterday. I was always so excited to share stuff with these people- be it new music, yt videos or anything and then they just don't pay attention or say something like "hmm yeah it's ok" or "it's fine". Needless to say, I was sick of them and am planning to block them.

[@FemboiMuffin]

It happened to me today. Wait a moment... it happens to me all the time 🥲

[@katien3022]

So true!!! I really only put a lot of effort or initiative into people I value or want to know better.

[@FemboiMuffin]

@@katien3022 me too

[@whofandb]

"You're just weird" is one thing that you shouldn't say to an INFJ. We know we process information and experiences a little differently so we already know we're "weird." Saying that to a young INFJ is pretty mean. Even adult INFJs don't like to be reminded about being different. There is simply no reason to say it unless you're trying to hurt their feelings. You shouldn't say it to anyone. Saying it to an INFJ can trigger a shame spiral because it reinforces the idea that we really don't belong anywhere. We spend our entire lives trying to exist in a world that doesn't understand us so we don't need you to share your heartless rude analysis of us. I was always the weird kid growing up and even in my 20s.

[@bananachachen8068]

AYO why is the so real. I always try to laugh off indirect ‘insults’ or words that have a second meaning but I become quieter and become more conscious of my actions or if I’m acting too much but being called “weird” would shut me down

[@midnightlibra1100]

If an INTJ ever says, "You're weird." Its a compliment. Because everyone is boring to us, weird is new, weird is different and complex. You're different than everyone else, which is precisely why we like you guys so much. That's how I interpret "weird". To be not stale like everyone else.

[@lucy9698]

Personally I embrace the weirdness. Can't weaponize what doesn't belong to you, so to speak. The only people whose opinions matter are those closest to our hearts, no matter how much value we may subconsciously place on other people's views. My response would be, "I'm weirdly unique and you're mediocre at best" 😝

[@whofandb]

Accepting your own weirdness is one thing. Others using the word to denigrate you is a different matter entirely.@@lucy9698

[@leointheblues]

Tbh as an infj if anyone says I’m “weird” it’s really upsetting and offensive for some reason .. idk y I’m like this that I never fit in anywhere .. but I have come to accept that I am the way I am and it makes sense to my perception. People should really be more empathetic to saying that to anyone ❤

[@littlepearlsofrandomness]

As an INFJ, one sentence that gives me heart palpitations at work is “let me give you some feedback”. Code for “let me tell you everything that is wrong with you”

[@infjelphabasupporter8416]

YES

[@charlottev6689]

My worst nightmare in a sentence.

[@LulabellaDonna]

Often I wonder if INFJ's somehow exhibit a characteristic that gives many people (usually controllers or narcs) the GO light to TELL US WHAT to THINK, and WHAT to DO, and also WHAT is WRONG with our thinking and decisions. I see this with political issues now, it appears we are not allowed to have our own ideas, opinions and actions without being belittled by people who listen to CNN all day long. Unreal. I walk away from many of these people and stick with a close friend group who are able to see what is actually happening in our world. I am a practical INFJ.

[@lojanta]

AGREED

[@RiotgrrrlPearl]

Same

[@pollysanders4630]

One thing to never DO to an INFJ: Choose someone else. They will be done with you. They may still love you, but they will not want you back. They do not play second best after they have revealed themselves to you, and you chose to reveal yourself to someone else. They are done.

[@marketawilezinska8817]

Okay.... that really resonates with me. Ever since I learned about me being the INJF (it's 18 hours) I keep jumping from "I see people as abstract constructs" to "I see patterns and get upset over possibilities and I excit the relationship once I figured out THE PATTERN (I made about them) doesn't suit me." I felt super guilty about it. Like... I make my probles and its all in my head. But seing what you wrote... you are right! I would forgive people everything. I don't have many close friends. If they act like they're sorry, I would forgive them everything. BUT NOT CHOSING SOMEONE ELSE OVER ME. I don't care if that person has golden genitals. Friend of 8 years decided to choose possible hookup instead of taking my side/doing what we planned for ages. I see it as betrayal. It doesn't match with my idea of how friends are supposed to treat each other. Betray me once, shame on you. Betray me twice, shame on me. Betray me thrice, there's now WANTED poster of you on my wall. PATTERNS proved to be right. Dead or alive. I'm going to remove myself emotionally from this relationship and there's nothing you can do to change that. It would be easier if we weren't roommates.

[@ghefiraschannel182]

As an INFJ, this is a yes. But lately, I've been realizing this could be my negative trait too. Sometimes I overthink that someone else's actions means they choose someone else over me, instead of just take it with a grain of salt and not overreact.

[@twoone871]

I’m a INFJ-A and I’m not sure why, but I don’t feel like this. If they choose someone else, I would feel sad but like if that person can make them happier or help them achieve their goal, then I’m fine with it. I would be sad but not angry. Am I the only one?

[@pollysanders6395]

There may have been a slight misunderstanding here. I would not be angry with them. I would simply choose not to pursue the relationship further. If there is doubt on the other person's behalf, then they were obviously not that certain about me. I'm an all or nothing sort when it comes to that sort of thing. And if the person left the other person for me, I would think s/he might always wonder what it would have been like had they chosen the other person. I don't want that for them. I want them to be certain. And if they choose the other person, I want them to be happy. But I don't want to be the third denominator in a relationship that could have been. So I save them the choice. I choose to remove myself from their uncertainty. Does that make sense?

[@schweizer93]

You're right..

[@mazmck4]

As an INFJ I hate when people say: 'let's have a chat...' me 'sure!' Inside: OOFT Somethingbadiscoming somethingbadiscoming heckheckheckheck they hate me I said something that offended them, I am going to get fired, someone is dying.

[@jamiethurman9051]

YES YES YES!!!! Or “Give me a call, I have something to tell you.”

[@israeljuarez1800]

I hate that, why don't people just send a really short text or short email? My exwife used to send me this massive emails that I'd just reply " I didn't read it but can you make it shorter and to the point please?"

[@kohanaafuola6511]

Yesss like, " I have to talk to you." Me: " Uh oh, what now?"

[@elisa4620]

Oh yes. I felt that.

[@arianaeilish6169]

Ya, I can relate

[@slosubies4845]

Practical INFJ male here. Maybe it's a result of growing up without much money, but I've always been quite practical and efficient in most things. That said, if anyone tells me I HAVE TO do something, I'm going to every length to prove I don't have to do that, no matter how practical and positive that thing might be. Anytime my supervisor tells me to do something a different way, it feels like micro-management, especially when I'm getting the desired results doing it my way. And there's no need to shame me - if I messed something up, I'm already beating myself up worse than anyone else can. Spot on, Frank.

[@lucy9698]

Same. Although I'm an INFJ I'm usually quite practical. I'm also totally ok with being spontaneous, as long as it's not a matter that would actually have some sort of effect on reality. But it all absolutely has to be my way unless you can prove to me that your way is, indeed, more practical or at the very least not outright dumb. Otherwise, it will be a veeeery long discussion while I try to figure out how to explain to you how I reached the conclusion that I did 🤣

[@MzShiningSylvia]

This is entire paragraph is me. Im an INFJ female. Growing up poor has made me very practical.

[@jenniferrevilla5298]

When someone tells me I ,have to, need to do something, it brings out the donkey in me and she is a super stubborn critter, lol

[@rhiannonmackenzie2527]

Yeah, I'm fairly practical and don't mind spontaneity - sometimes even enjoy it. I once started a new role and my boss didn't tell me how to do it for 8 months (despite asking), so I figured it out and it was going well, my team were happy, things were running smoothly etc. Then my boss said I should be doing it another way, but after 8 months of doing it my way and it working without her input, I really didn't want to change things up.

[@damothepianist]

Yes I'd say I'm practical too

[@shiinomiya3057]

For me, the worst is being told "Stop overreacting" or "Stop being so sensitive" it really triggers my fight or flight lol

[@grace_ly]

yeah like it hurts so bad! we just feel so much that those statements make us feel like absolutely nothing 😔

[@koral4684]

It does, because it’s literally going to be in my mind for a long time.

[@catmagicktarot6808]

Oh Em Gee! Yes! Those two statements sum up my childhood! Totally misunderstood by my family.

[@emmaf.e.8248]

Me too.

[@gayce6662]

Yeah, my Mom told me that when I was a small child, so I now don’t show emotions.

[@MitchiiNeonz]

I feel like INFJs are both the most popular and least popular at the same time in school lol

[@ScarletTrygger]

It depends if they are INFJ -A (advocate assertive) or INFJ-T ( advocate turbulent). Assertive tend to deal with the spot light better. Turbulent tend to be more engrossed with their smaller group generally encompassed with their art. Being an INFJ-T I definitely fit into the second.

[@ares9724]

I can't say yes and I can't say no

[@jen-kg3do]

as an infj I can confirm (like, everyone knows my name and who I am but I also have like two close friends lol)

[@Vi-olynn]

That will be... Yes I'm som somehow unpopular that it become popular.

[@ihavenoideahowtocallmyself3849]

That’s true

[@mikayla743]

As an INFJ-T I absolutely hate when someone tells be I’m lazy or I’m being lazy. It has to do with not liking being told what to do but I don’t like when people assume I haven’t been working on things I’m just in my head figuring things out. Calm down.

[@sandrasonny4244]

YES!! I'm an INFJ-T also and I absolutely hate that too.

[@esmam6007]

Feel u

[@ease_y]

Same, I feel your pain

[@Yun_er]

This is accurate, I like to figure things out in my head 1st, process them and then choose the best solution.

[@jade2708]

Oh mah gwad me too!! It pisses me off! I like doing things on my own time its done better that way. If I don't feel like it, I WON'T do it.

[@martifry1257]

As a 62 yr old infj, I can tell you that there is hope, because as I have gotten older, I couldn't care less if people say these things to me. I know who I am, I like who I am, and in a world that never shuts up, I experience and consider my introversion as a godsend.

[@verntoews6937]

Martha, I am also 62 and agree with you

[@IndianaNana1]

amen

[@rhyfeddu]

I look forward to being there. lol

[@speechy_keen4878]

I’m 42 and agree with this

[@CK-wv9pp]

Same for me and I am 45. As we mature, we just learn to be more appreciative and compassionate with ourselves and with others. We evolve and become more easeful.

[@chaedoolies]

*Why do you think that’s a good idea?* Infj brain: *loading... please wait...*

[@geensjc]

HAHAHAHAHA 100% RELATABLE

[@that1randompotato576]

And if its a situation where someone (ex. Your teacher)is staring at you for so long: Infj.brain.exe has stopped working.

[@raininess]

Takes me long enough to decide in the first place, this only makes me question the entire thought process that led to the decision...

[@that1randompotato576]

@@raininess right

[@calipupcorn3886]

haha i do that

[@gloriana7777]

Me: thinks I've done something spontaneous also me: *realizes that it was part of my 10 year plan*

[@oberrous1813]

HahahahahHAHAHAHHAHA

[@oberrous1813]

Me when I moved overseas, people thought I was out of my mind, I as well. a year later ive come to the realisqtion I've planned this since tenth grade 🤡🤡

[@monikam.9953]

😂😂😂 so true!

[@ccsworldaustralia4332]

hate spontaneous...love routine

[@nimisha6584]

What a lovely episode of exposing us on our own

[@yuiiida1011]

I cried while I was watching the last part.... I'm Japanese and INFJ, and I was really stressed in Japanese society. I think this is because Japanese culture is 'Culture of shame'. We sometimes need to think about the feeling of others too much. And I always felt guilty about something, and always thought 'I'm not enough.' Thank you for letting me realise about this idea!!!

[@abad-enoughdude._.3919]

This reminds me of 'The Chrysanthemum and the Sword', a Japanese anthropology book when it discusses the concept of 'on'. I would think the Japanese would accept this feeling since it's part of the culture but I suppose it really is hard on people no matter what.

[@BlueSkyOcean]

Cheers for you. I am Taiwanese and infj. Traveling in Japan I can totally feel the micro aggression even though I don’t speak the language. Many underline rules that I don’t get since I am foreigner. Sometimes I feel bad for people who wants to have more freedom in this country. Hopefully Japanese culture will change a bit since so many foreigners move there. Good luck to you!

[@aria8256]

Saying "You should be ashamed." to an INFJ is suicidal at times too. Since we are self reflecting most of the time, when you say those things, it hurts A LOT. Especially depending how close you are to our hearts at that particular time. Everything might just crumble down. No joke.

[@link_team3855]

The more trust is there, the easier it is for you to kill us :P

[@yuperness8347]

This is true, I know because it almost happened to me.

[@jennifergustafson7141]

Yes. Definitely.

[@leighcarlson87]

Yes. I tend to take responsibility for all kinds of things that I am not responsible for. Then I feel stressed out.

[@coffeeperson1461]

Can I tell an INFJ they are just people, and that in life people will say things that bother us and we all have to learn mature ways to cope rather than picking an acronym deeming them special treatment?

[@monikam.9953]

You should never say to an infj “you owe me something”. They live their life not just trying to be fair, but extremely generous to other people. When someone then has the nerve to say we owe them something, it literally sounds like an insult.

[@dinkin_flicka14]

Spot on!

[@ILovePlayingZeldaGamesOnSwitch]

In my 33yrs of existence, nobody said this to me yet

[@user-ii3vn8tn3q]

That’ll put the brakes on.

[@nourmuhsen]

That's 100% right.😂😂😂

[@nourmuhsen]

@@ILovePlayingZeldaGamesOnSwitch You must be surrounded by some really humble people. I heard it a lot in my 18 years of life.😂😂😂

[@PearlPaisley]

This happened irl: -Tell me what you really think, just say it! I tell them. -How can you think like that? It's wrong! Me: shutting up forever.

[@bamkuhen-]

lol, thats what happened to me last week.

[@kewlenjo219]

OMG so true. I have a polite mask for co-workers and so when they want to be friends I panic...they don't know at home I am serious and quiet and not the forced extroverted happy person from work. So who do they really want to be friends with? If they only knew what I really thought most of the time, would they still want to be friends? And I can't stand how often people tell me that I am over-thinking or over-analyzing, sighs.But if I ever open up and they don' get me...I never open up again...usually I ghost them over time.

[@KB-wk9bv]

Just remind them that they asked, and if they’re bothered that’s their prerogative. Then, remind yourself their problems are not your problems. You’re not obligated.

[@nicoletrujillo2087]

My friend did this to me. We’re no longer friends🙂

[@newgenerationanpanman7870]

My mind: Congratulations! Now you know whom to avoid the next time.

[@SunAtinus]

I hate it when people tell me “it’s not that deep bro” constantly, especially when its important and I am trying to tell them something.

[@Msking-dm7cy]

Im INFJ AND CAN'T STAND WHEN PEOPLE TALK IN CIRCLES GET TO THE POINT IM HERE TO LEARN SOMETHING ! TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE😥

[@lenatrofimov7605]

Yes! Yes! Yes!

[@danielleneville3725]

Yeah. It pisses me off when people take half an hour to present information that I could have read in a couple minutes. Like videos that are a list of things, dude just give me the list.

[@itsaperfectionist4158]

*me in my head* HURRY UP WERE ALL GONNA DIE

[@cameronmacdonald772]

@@danielleneville3725 It took me 13 minutes just to get through this list! I get it. Next point please... lol

[@alehernandez2545]

Damn. My mom is INFJ and my father and I are INTPs, you can imagine how terrible discussions go in our house.

[@slygurl9440]

In Zoom Meeting: We can't see your face, is your camera on? Turn your camera on. Me: sorry, I can't. I have tape over it.

[@simonasstankaitis2509]

I'm ENFP but yeah tape gives me safety

[@bughunterbughunter7953]

Omg.....I did that to my phone..... Can't believe I can relate.

[@qu0thraven]

Ha ha ha. I have that and the microphone shut down hard on a couple levels in the OS and software and also with the physical tape covering. During stay-at-home orders, I actually wanted to vid. chat with a friend and it took me like half an hour to find all the places I needed to turn them on again and then also had to restart the computer to get it to work. XD

[@Koshrocreations]

This gives me strongly INFP energy.

[@eastonridge5475]

Ugh. So true. I totally gave VP in my company a pretty cold, hardline resistance when he asked me to Zoom with him -just the Two Of Us! I seriously said, “oh, I just assumed with call each other. I fee that would be much more productive and save us both some valuable time.” He was like ...uh, yeah, sure. Ok. #WIN.

[@tamaragarrett3625]

I don’t like it when people tell me what to do.

[@RachelPun]

Especially if they don't explain the rationale or, worse, say "just do it, there's no why"

[@kittyquiqui]

Yeah, it kinda makes me want to do the opposite of what they're saying.. don't really care if it pisses them off

[@jlady7gbr259]

My husband tries to tell me how to do stuff ALL THE TIME now. Like I've never used the washing machine before... I only taught him how... but OK go ahead & tell me how to do it your way. Yep. I put the soap in & turned it on. I'm not stupid. Then proceeds to tell me how to do the next thing... People want to know how I'm so patient. Well, I'm not after I walk away. I'm furious & just internalize it.

[@marshapple]

Yes...that doesn't work with me either.

[@donnailich9138]

Nobody does. X

[@rmkpilates]

As an INFJ it is extremely difficult for me to tell a lie. I do not like to hurt anyone, so I may soften the truth. But an outright lie is very hard for me and I always regret not being 100% truthful. P.S. As hard as it is being like we are I would never ever change who I am. Be you, be proud and be strong. Love to you all.

[@cellgrrl]

I am a INTJ and feel very much the same. I am so sensitive to honestly that even speaking a foreign language makes me feel like I am lying. I feel I am not being authentic. If I were I would be speaking my native language English.

[@AgnesJani-w1k]

Me too.

[@LupTeles]

I love how I’m an introvert and after I get close to someone I just can’t stop talking. Then when I say that I’m an introvert they don’t believe me 🤭🤦‍♀️

[@the144ooothdarklight]

lol. spot on.

[@arcticvoid518]

Same, I love talking to people but it makes me so tired, so when I tell them I’m an introvert they’re like “No you’re not”

[@ladyhope2764]

@@arcticvoid518 same

[@mateas7284]

I noticed that I always have similar story that I tell people when I get close to someone. And when I see their reaction on that, then I know what can I talk or not talk with them. But yeah, I always end up talking too much and nobody believes me that I'm an introvert.😅

[@JM-jn6li]

🤭 yes

[@madisonaubrey6076]

“Tell me about yourself.” “...” *Spontaneous combustion*

[@beingweirdisnormal1404]

Relatable.

[@darlenedawson2366]

Agreed

[@luanntexascitizen4345]

Soooo true. I still have trouble answering this. Its way too broad a question. Can people just be more specific?

[@matthewsmith5169]

Yes

[@aquajasper]

...y e s

[@HeySeussGranny]

I REALLY don't like when people question my motives or character.

[@protorhinocerator142]

But you're up to something... j/k laugh it's Friday.

[@lauramc4fun]

That is totally me as well. I hate being accused of something unfounded, or having my loved ones accused.

[@nadinegomez8858]

Questions aren’t always accusations though. Sometimes maybe just learn to communicate?

[@Ziscasworld]

@@nadinegomez8858 questions are no bad thing. If someone does question someone or something there is not alwas an "?" at the end of the sentence. It is often an "!" at the end of an assumption. This assumption can be really mean. An assumption is not in every case the truth. People should be carefull in the way they open up with their guessing. Often there are misinterpretations the problem. This can happen to anyone. INFJ do have a high risk of misinterpretations because of the intuitive jugement. So me personal and every other INFJ has done this in his live. I think this should be considered, while getting mad about being questioned. ;)

[@kawaidessune6189]

Ikrrrr i just wanna scream "none of ur buisness " But il just laugh and act like a lamba Girl

[@VaVa94936]

Lately, a collegue of mine told me "You don't understand me" and "You betrayed me", after I told her that I have been currently more a psychologist than a friend. I passed so many times listening to her talking about her childhood/life, giving advices, encouraging her, being honest as possible, and facilitating her socialization. I feel hurt and sad, especially misunderstood by her, who has done almost nothing for me. To be my friend, I really need a good psychological, emotional and intellectual connection. PS : Sorry for my english, I am not an english native speaker.

[@lucy9698]

Sounds like someone deserves a door slam

[@More.h]

Im not an infj but I totaly get what you're saying Just know that you are not alone

[@Danny-Stylish]

Those type of people are just dumb loosers, they could get better by at least trying but then decide the easy way, "this person will do it for me"

[@kerstingravel8160]

That was so harsh after you spent so much time for this person. Unfortunately some people’s are like vampires. Just taking and never giving anything back. Maybe you can see it as something where you can learn from, so that people can’t exploit you so easily in the future anymore.

[@Marshmallowssss]

Im sorry that happened to you,i have a girlfriend who is also and infj and to this day i still have to learn and take notes on how not to offend her in any way,due to her being the only infj ik which is pretty cool.Anyway i hope you are and will feeling better and please take care of yourself❤

[@nevermindneven]

Me, slowly understanding what it means to be INFJ: oh that kinda explains why I'm NEVER missing out on reading comment sections and I'm always majorly disappointed when comments are turned off..

[@sonnhi7820]

I thought that it was only me 😂

[@that1randompotato576]

@@sonnhi7820 me to...

[@smileyforever292]

That's me lol

[@Nelle_LaLa]

I won't watch videos without captions unless I'm subscribed to the channel and the post on the community board..🤦🏾‍♀️

[@cubiusblockus3973]

I cannot like this enough.

[@lindsey3151]

"I don't even know who you are." "...lol. same." "You should be ASHAMED" "Joke's on you. Im always ashamed."

[@heidismutti]

So much this

[@sorrychangedmyusername3594]

Mind: "ashamed about u ooooooooo"

[@meganmartians8372]

Same. 😂

[@speaktruth9989]

Yes

[@lostnumbers2258]

Lol! I feel too seen

[@vira7684]

Never ask a question and then don't listen to the answer or just walk away. That kills me every time! As an INFJ, that forces me to lose respect for the person almost instantly.

[@Dishwashingtabletsbad]

Do any other INFJs, when doing a school project or group project, end up doing their own thing at the end because everyone else does stuff differently and you start getting the feeling they aren’t doing a good enough job? You might also think they will judge you for you ideas? Is this just me…

[@momobs1]

Started at school, and same in work

[@holyndaaracelly4066]

omg yess. i always feel the same way...

[@dianyllusaj2905]

Yahh back in my elementary days, I always do the project alone and quietly without my groupmates... Kinda worried as well about being judged

[@bluehour4892]

Oh yes, I would be the one to recheck peoples work and add more of my touch. Good thing was, i was mostly stuck with those who don't think much

[@guardiantree8879]

If no one else stepped up I’d take like the leader position to organize. I vastly hate being in the lead position, but I ain’t going to let the ship sink. I’d much rather just be the first mate whispering my thoughts in the Captain’s ear & let them do all the talking and leading.

[@when_life_gives_you_limes]

I also hate it when someone is being pretentious/fake. Like, the moment you see that person, you JUST instantly know how fake that person is & you just don't understand how everyone can stand talking to these people, while you slowly die from eye-rolling a million times in your own head.

[@rachelmclaughlin1491]

For me it's mentally banging my head on a brick wall with these kinds of people

[@karri17]

Yep and when everyone else around me is so freaking naive to their bs omggg

[@cece_2555]

omg soo true

[@the_chinese_illiterate8607]

me just banging my head on the desk dobby style when my whole class takes the side of the person that is so obviously fake

[@azanuan9185]

I transcendent the time I had to put up with fake people I graduated from school

[@LittleKittyCat]

I hate it whenever people ask me why I'm shy. I just don't like to make meaningless conversation..

[@karri17]

Can I steal this

[@kitsune1946]

Its like asking why is you hair brown

[@LittleKittyCat]

@@kitsune1946 Right.

[@noname__7]

@@kitsune1946 😂

[@nine3430]

That's why I looked like a trash in front of you

[@juliesisemore7594]

As an INFJ who grew up in a household where shame was used a lot, I can say I absolutely still struggle with shame a lot. If I'm shamed for something, even unintentionally, I will never do that thing again. Even if the other person isn't aware that what they said resulted in that. I realize this is my issue to overcome (rather than place blame somewhere else), but it's probably my #1, lifelong challenge.

[@LauraForest]

Yes, those shame thoughts are such pests! I hope you're finding they are easier to shake off with practice. If it's any help, leaning into my faith made a night and day difference for my shame issues.

[@duck7237]

1. Let's wing it 2. Be practical 3. Why do you think that's a good idea? 4. I don't know who you really are 5. Do this a different way 6. Don't sweat the small stuff 7. You ought to be ashamed Um. Yeah. Correct on all counts.

[@qu0thraven]

Some of these I didn't think fit at first but then as he was explaining them I was like totes. Like #4, never had someone say those words to me, but being grossly misunderstood by people who should know better... y.e.p. The #2, be practical one gets me because usually I try to double check my intuition and sort of 'do the research' before proposing an idea or solution (early adaptation to environment) so... that one hits me like a punch in the gut after all the extra effort. And I think for most of these I've kind of learned how to adapt or deal with them better, but if I am not paying attention they can still catch me off guard.

[@duck7237]

@@qu0thraven Yeah, I agree. Initially, I didn't think I would relate to most of them but once he started explaining I had to laugh out loud because it was all rather familiar. Every single one. Doing things a different way was a particular gut punch. I HATE being forced to update technology or computer programmes when the upgrade forces me to relearn how to use it again. But all of them were relatable!

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

Quack quack quack! 🐥(That's a thx)

[@martcichocki5571]

#8: "You need to relax." HATE THAT. Another Stellar & informative, user friendly FJ vid!

[@duck7237]

@@DiamondsRexpensive 😊😂

[@Seca95]

Let me add one more: You should never ask an INFJ “why are you so silent?”. It’s the worst question e-v-e-r imo.

[@ciscamariani1633]

Other : "Are you a shy-person?" Me : grinning (yeah better act like a shy person instead of talking about things you wont understand, dude)

[@FamilieVideos86]

I got really tired of hearing that so now I respond with "I like to do alot of thinking inside my head. You should try it sometime."

[@claireclarke7789]

People ask me that question alot. A good comeback is to say, "why are you so loud?" That makes them shut up 😅

[@FamilieVideos86]

@@claireclarke7789 ooh that's better, I'm gonna use that

[@GopherwoodExpress]

I was in the hospital after heart surgery and my nurse was like " wow, you're really quiet." I was surprised because I felt like I was talking a lot more than usual, and now that I think of it, do people usually just become chatterboxes three days after heart surgery or something?

[@FamilieVideos86]

Do any infjs get hit with "you don't talk alot", or you finally open up to someone and some idiot nearby says "hey you're talking"? I hate it because it always feels condescending. So I now say "yeah I like to do alot of thinking inside my head. You should try it."

[@cowsonzambonis6]

Thank you for saying this- I feel so validated! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I got this sooooo much in school, and never knew how to take it.

[@ML_Nye]

They say I never talk, but when I release the demons I keep from everyone else they complain about how much I spoke. You asked for it, and then you pull that card. Cmon

[@おな-t1o]

the people im with always gossip behind my back on how i look like a snob and talk bad things about me. one even started saying i have no friends and that was because i was mean and anti-social

[@apasihbri6130]

Yeah...i really hate those responses when I'm trying to open up. Like yeah i keep quiet most of the time, but i always talking in my head. And when someone did that i feel so offended lol, then goodbye im not gonna talking to you anymore.

[@VictorianMetalGirl]

Yes! I relate to that so much!

[@TheGuardDuck]

My dad is a "I just like to look at the big picture" kind of guy. And I am like, "THE BIG PICTURE IS MADE OF THOUSANDS OF TINY DETAILS!!! YOU CAN'T JUST IGNORE THEM!!!"

[@rebecasuciu9980]

Omggg!!! People tell me the same thing your father says and i tell them about the DETAILS that make up the big picture... but they just don t get it.. :(( (also am an ENTJ ik that we are supposed to only "see the bigger picture" but come on we can t deny the fact that the bigger picture is just formed of thousands of details :))) )

[@rebecasuciu9980]

Also love that you re the first person that i ve ever heard saying that

[@TheGuardDuck]

Lol, ENTJ? My arch nemesis! Bane of the INFJ! 😂 Surprised to hear that from that type! Basically, I think my dad is just tired of messing with details. He knows full well that the big picture is full of details, but I think he's at the point where he just doesn't care anymore. But yeah, sometimes it's just a dumb excuse for "I don't want to really understand". Sometimes it drives me nuts.

[@cowsonzambonis6]

YES!!!! I can’t leave the details out, and I see people’s eyes glaze over as I continue talking. But it all seems important to me..!

[@jochusbooks2886]

Same same SAME. So frustrating.

[@duck7237]

I get very offended when people question my motives. I take great pride in being a kind, thoughtful person and so that accusation is like a dagger to my heart.

[@saranox7319]

This! When they accuse you of beinga nasty ugly character. Even better when it‘s your aggressive ESFP dad who has no rage control and tells you you are not normal, dumb or disabled on the regular. 🙄

[@bumbygrl]

I agree...I hate having to defend myself when I'm truly just being nice with nothing to gain.

[@duck7237]

@@bumbygrl I discussed this with my therapist and she said it was more than likely to be a form of transference on their part. ie they make these accusations because that's how they think within the privacy of their mind. Still pisses me off though!

[@chelfrich1990]

@@saranox7319 I'm sorry 💜 That sounds like a really shitty environment to be stuck in.

[@reddae6910]

Duck .... OHHH yes. THIS.

[@kensears5099]

Here's one never to say to an INFJ: "Don't you ever think about other people's feelings?"

[@andreag566]

So true!!!✝️😇🙌🙏🕊👑

[@yazminroldan2109]

Exactamente

[@yazminroldan2109]

@Khayyira Shafiqa igual para mí es asi

[@chocotortuga_22]

Un horror

[@thejazzthatsoundedlikefart4371]

@Karrie Dee thanks a lot! Just, thanks lol

[@ayesha_shah9]

I'm an INFJ, and coincidentally, I have been through some serious trauma lately. I had severe scoliosis, and I spent many years trapped at home behind four walls because my condition was very unstable. For me, there was no hope, I became so pessimistic and self-destructive, and my INFJ personality hyped up everything. I can't describe the emotional torture I went through because of my own brain. I had surgery last year, and now, finally, things have started to settle down. I've always been told how sensitive I am. It was only last year that I found out about my MBTI, and now I realise how my personality type enhanced my sensitivity in that stressful situation. If I had known it before, maybe I would have dealt with things much better. I'm now attending therapy, and my therapist tells me how much of an ambitious personality I have. Finally, I feel at least some peace. Now I can start being healthier mentally too; I'm really trying to stabilise all these extremes of my personality. I'm so happy I found your channel; it made me laugh and helped me embrace and understand my personality.

[@grace_evans.]

So happy your doing fine, sorry for everything you went through, your gonna be OK 😊 God bless ❤

[@ayesha_shah9]

@@grace_evans. thanks ♥️♥️

[@rominarittley3056]

Just know that even if not everything is ok there will always be people that will directly or indirectly support you and wish the best for you. I have an INFJ friend who also deals with scoliosis and trauma. From my experience you are not too sensitive, I think the rest of the people are too selfish to acknowledge and understand other's feelings. Have a nice day and keep going 💪💜

[@jerrimenard3092]

I am an INFJ and I had a full posterior spinal fusion at age 15. I feel your pain, literally. It's good you have a there because this is traumatic. It won't be something you just get over.

[@molliethomas2585]

"We need to talk." I hear that and instantly try to come up with the worst possible reason why that was said.

[@amasterofone]

Nope, that's a whole lot of nope. Especially if the talking is not going to happen right f*cking now.

[@kristinamitchell5274]

Or “I have something to tell you” that’s another one that will trigger every worst scenario possible

[@christa7773]

OMG YES

[@slygurl9440]

Yes! I was going to write this one too but distracted myself, haha! I feel like I was summoned to the principal's office and do as you do, think of all the worst case scenarios.

[@lafierose]

Exactly! My boss emailed me one time with "We need to have a meeting." Absolutely nothing else. Just gave me the time. I immediately go through all the scenarios and I land on: "I'm getting fired." Goes to meeting, boss says, "I just wanted to thank you (and explains why)" I, then think, why didn't you say that in the email.

[@melaniemarquez5056]

I hate when someone says "you overthink things, or think too deeply about things, or get over it, or you're too deep or too serious, or you over react" I hate when someone tells me that my feelings or the way I think or feel is wrong and not normal...!

[@Picca65]

I hate when people tell me who i am and how i act and think. They are always wrong.

[@UNKLEWHEELIESON]

Next person that tells me to get out of my head im gonna lose it

[@subject_x5276]

@@Picca65 I'm an INTP but that's extremely relatable

[@thunderbirdice]

I'm the same but at the same time I hate this about myself.

[@kingfisher9553]

"tell me what you're all about" Good god, man. Neither of us will live long enough to hear that story.

[@taetaechimchim930]

1. "why arent you talking?" 2. "why are you so quiet??" 3. "why are you taking so looong???" 4. "tell us who you are to the whole class," 5. "I know who you are," 6. "you're really random" 7. "whatever I dont care " well there a whole list but this is only a fragment 😅

[@edlinnaurah]

my personal favourite from your list is ''you're really random'' because as an infj when im in a group chatting certain topic i sometimes would already think far far ahead from what theyre talking rn and when i'm speaking out about it they would go ''you're really random'' not like it hurts everytime but yea when its something youre excited about it will hurt

[@rse4240]

"why are you angry?" I'm not mad!I just have no reason to smile all the time!why do i need to have a smile on my face all the time?

[@hehe89733]

The 5th one really hit different cause i just wanna say like no jenna you do not know me at all you only know what i show you so get down of that cloud and look at the facts, that you actually know nothing about me.

[@Ziscasworld]

If someone i like and trust and i've opened up a lot says: "I know who you are" or "i feel you" i really like it. In this Moment i don't need to feel lonely. If someone says that while an argument and tells me the stuff he/she thinks are my bad and selfish motivations (but is totally wrong)... i get really pissed of.

[@hehe89733]

@@Ziscasworld honestly even with friends i dont like it when they say they know me, because if they actually did they wouldnt hurt me with their actions

[@jessicurry2010]

INFJ: I'm not able to do the thing. I'm too sad about lost opportunities and anxious about too many more opportunities. I'll just sleep. World: You can't do that. You're too weak. INFJ: *throw blankets off* HOLD MY BEER!

[@fabjonahaliti6091]

This comment deserves more likes!! 😆...so true!!🤭

[@tulipan16]

Exactly....

[@VijayaLakshmi-wq3bc]

This is sooo meee😂😂

[@Gracenglory5]

@H. J. 🤣😂🤣🤣 YAAASSSSSSS 💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@anav8598]

Oh wow. You’ve described exactly how I operate. So happy to hear I’m normal (in the INFJ world ) 😌 The moment somebody tells me I can’t do it, it’s too difficult... that’s exactly what I focus on and make it happen 😎😁

[@icymal6685]

That moment when you feel like you trust someone enough to show and express your true inner self. You get into a long-winded conversation of text with them only to find a reply from them being, "Oh yeah." Nothing is more soul-crushing then to feel like your opinions and thoughts are not valued by those you thought would support you.

[@anangrysliceofpie3935]

so agree

[@jfo3000]

Texting won't work for that type of discussion. You fire off one reply with 10 sentences, with 3 topics while they are busy replying to what was said before your long diatribe. Then they are feeling like "I can't keep up in this texting format. WTF!" So they reply "Oh yeah!" Face to face is best for these talks, with phone call being second.

[@justrandomtalks]

I'm lucky to have 2 friends that understand me and I them We can chat about something with very long messages for 1-2 hours or more every day if we're not busy I think that's because we have same interests, which is making art/drawing/3d modeling/animating and other creative stuff

[@derda1304]

@@jfo3000 but it hurts so much more when they do it face to face

[@basilbaby7678]

True friends may not “get it”, but they will value the relationship enough to let you valve your internal galaxy.

[@BrittanyshaeR]

My very recent ex literally said everyone of these things to me. Daily. Every single day. I quit my 9-5 job, isolated myself from all of my friends and family, quit my side-hustle business that paid my bills, depleted my $8k savings, I started sleeping all day, started antidepressants, started therapy, quit therapy, I lost hope in every single ability, self-esteem dropped to -30, my hair started falling out, I then started forgetting/not wanting to take care of myself. I kicked him out yesterday. I am broke af and 3 days late on my rent, a month behind on my car note, my phone is suspended, I have zero groceries, no gas money, not a single penny, not a single person I could call to talk to. I don’t start my new job for another 5 days. And with all of this going wrong, sitting on the coldest rock bottom, this is the most peace I’ve had in 2 years. Please be careful who you let into your heart and mind. I believe as INFJs we are quick to accept blame, believe criticisms, and we take it hard.

[@TheWBWoman]

I hope things are going better in your life these days!

[@lextor4712]

So sorry for you. I hope your live got better!

[@Ghostofachance-iw8pr]

And hold on to a dream that is long dead!

[@ShrielSyan]

if you had it before you can have it again. it's in you to build it better and bigger this time, because now you probably value it more