7 Tips to Deal with Defiant Students

[@EugeneAxe]

"They will not change overnight." The exact reason subbing can be hell.

[@tomasalas7057]

Eugene Ax I’m a sub and yes, it can be hell.

[@MrsCrissCross]

We are encountering more and more students who don’t respond when these techniques are used. They seemingly go from zero to 60 in a matter of seconds - destroying classrooms, hurting peers and teachers and causing classrooms to evacuate. I’d love for you to speak to this.

[@isabelgeerer5062]

I've seen this in preschool. Scary situation when a 4 year old is hurling glass jars and heavy blocks

[@carolinebrenning178]

I have the same issue with my kindergarten class. I'm a long term sub. There's a student who has had behavior problems the whole year, and today, he was just diagnosed with ADHD and will start meds tmrw. I also just recently got two new students. They are both very difficult. Both are violent with other students, and one is even violent with me. The one who isn't violent with me destroys the classroom, knocking down furniture and throwing around the F word. I have also had to evacuate the classroom to keep the class safe. To say the least, it has been very difficult to teach 😒

[@SraZepol]

Yes! Doing stupid tik tok challenges.

[@mariaguild2024]

@@carolinebrenning178 Thats sad for Kinder. You can be pretty sure that home is not very calm or safe.

[@CastilloKaraoke]

@@mariaguild2024 sometimes that is not the case. My child who is in kinder has behavior problems, and is currently going to therapy. He lives with his two smaller sibling his dad and I. We give them lots of love equally, take them out to so many places and that is why im confused of why he acts the way he does in school

[@bobbiebsweet6025]

Praise in public reprimand/“talk it out in private” YES Thank You “They are human too” nailed it yup!! Their feeling are as big as adults too. 👍🏻

[@juliesloan5997]

I love using humor with my students, it quite often deescalates the situation.

[@carried3741]

I'm not an educator, but working closely with my sons school district. I'm going to take these tips and apply at home. Thank you for educating and helping so many out there that face these situations daily!

[@yvonenguyen5366]

Thank you, Great tips!!! Being a teacher is not easy working with 25 students is overwhelmed. We must stay calm, patience, and understand the cause of the problems. Sometime is from family background, didn’t get enough sleep/ bad day, or peers not being nice to them. Etc. All trouble students need more attention and understanding. We need to have more time 1 on 1 talk with them, loosen up the frustration they have, and show them we care . In my opinion, parents and teaches have same role. ❤️

[@Him_He_Me]

It's good to be their safe place. Students that destroy classrooms generally have experienced trauma. There are ways to deal with kids who have experienced trauma.

[@christieschnabel5359]

I'm a behavior interventionist in my district. I can't wait to share your videos with my staff. Thank you so much!

[@sophiemaniachi7742]

Great tips! I have taught for 6 years. (Grades 1st, 4th, & 7th) I have noticed that power struggles are the worst with 1st and 7th. Excited to see your future videos ☺️

[@xavierlamorengman7296]

I am a teacher from a tiny island in the Western Pacific Ocean region. I really like your video on classroom managements. I had noticed some of the methods work in your setting and some don't in our setting. I think maybe because of cultural differences. I usually teach grade 7 or 8. For example, the students feel downed when they are praised. So praisings embarrased students. The common misbehaviors in our setting are talking, sleeping, very loud yawn, lateness, and absences.

[@missemily3264]

Late reply. But I just found this video. If verbal praise behavior is upsetting to your students, definately don't use it. What is an acceptable way to encourage and praise someone in the local culture? Praise the kid to the parents, a colleague or administrator, in The child's hearing (indirect praise)? Think about what you can say or do to reinforce and reward positive behavior. Do these actions need to be on an individual or perhaps on a group level? Just some things to think about.

[@FirstNameLastName-wt5to]

They’re bored.

[@bugokcho482]

I've been working with kids for almost 10 years now and humor is such a good tip~ Even just today I told my students we had to practice writing today, and that led to a unanimous "ugghhhhhh!" to which I responded "Mmm~ music to my ears. That's my favorite kinda song." This brought on laughter and immediately lightened the mood as they took out their notebooks :) Also, I almost never yell at my students. The only time I ever have is if someone is in immediate danger and I need everyones attention. Otherwise, it's more of an actual talk reminding them what I expect, and also reminding them I've seen them meet my expectations, so I know that they can do it. Positive reinforcement is also a great motivator. Often times I won't say anything to students who need redirection and instead reward those who are following directions with big praises and thank yous, or sometimes prize box, candy, stamp, sticker, etc. Last tip: have the students who struggle to focus your helpers for the activity you're doing :)

[@19briannanicole95]

Any tips on “attitude” I have a student who doesn’t yell or scream but is rude snide and sarcastic to get at me. I haven’t experienced this kind of more intelligent backlash before and am struggling with how to respond. She is very bright but it is hindering our relationship.

[@alviabanzato7065]

You have some excellent ideas. I see a child once a week who is really defiant and is diagnosed autistic. His behaviour is often displayed in very bad choices such as biting and spitting. As he has an aide I don't have too much to deal with, however the aide goes through a lot. I'm in Australia and I have enjoyed your videos. Well done.

[@FirstNameLastName-wt5to]

Labeling an autistic child defiant? You aren’t fit to work with children.

[@erintannehill]

I love your tips about the power struggle. Definitely going to use them as I am really struggling with a few defiant students on my school bus. I really appreciate your tips for dealing with these situations. Thank you!

[@stevenhoch1076]

My son was having a meltdown in a store. I asked him if he heard anyone else screaming. It worked on a behavioral level where we did not have time for a psychodrama session. But helping a kid build a superego in the Freudian sense is beneficial to them. Having other people standing around would have changed the dynamic and the outcome, so don't know if that would be always useful in a classroom. So much of what you're talking about comes with acquiring skill and knowing which tool to use for the good of all involved in the moment.

[@alexandrosboukis2602]

Thank you. I'm listening to this whenever I take rude behavior personally! "I noticed you XYZ, so is it safe to assume x?" Kids either avoid or want something. It's ok to acknowledge and come back. Awesome

[@angelakramer8406]

How about a trip to the principal’s office? The student needs to decide if he or she wants an education. If not, adios. Then, they’re more likely to commit crimes and be unemployed. The jails are overcrowded with people who just can’t follow the rules. Lack of parental involvement and general boredom on the student’s part are two major problems.

[@TheForever212]

Second year 1st grade teacher here! Thank you for these new videos! Sooo helpful!

[@andreapatane4204]

Your tips for defiant students rock big time.

[@redryder5078]

Not just one student, what you're describing is typically 18 out of my 30 students in each class.

[@Slowmetamorphis]

Exactly. How did you navigate that? 3 power struggles, 2 arguments , 3 walking around at the same time?! 😢

[@nikoknightpuppetproduction369]

In reality, a teacher have the responsibility to step in and correct a behavior that the parents failed to address with their own child.

[@duane5851]

Thanks for trying to shed light on this issue.I am a E.A. , another tactic is waiting them out.

[@adrianamirandabr]

The best video regarding the ODD ever❤

[@lagosmith8990]

This is a beautiful resource for anyone interacting with a child behaving in a challenging way!

[@ramadhanmwinyi9458]

The lesson was so educative and informative as well... nicely presented

[@ruqayyahwaihirere07]

Thank you so much Kristen. Such awesome tips here. Keep up the great work!

[@diannejohanson9785]

You are so wise beyond your years!! ❤️. I wish I had your advice years ago. I want to take on your strategies. 😊

[@Solobucci1417]

Thank you so much, i got a new job and I'm nervous about starting but this has helped me out to a great extent, I'll surely put these to work. Stay blessed...... All the way from Nigeria 👍

[@sophiehart1999]

Thank you so much Kristen. My eyes are watering in my classroom. I needed this. Thank you!

[@MichaelCarter-fp5hk]

the biggest issues for me are task avoidance by eloping, name calling among peers that often leads to verbal altercations.

[@b_sugar1613]

thanx mam for the advice! its very helpful! I just teach because I have no other choice! if there is other job available I would not teach ...

[@mariconschannel8066]

how would you handle a child who talk back or answering back to a teacher

[@atabib9248]

I loved this video, it has so many helpful things. Please more like this!

[@melbrown5926]

My biggest take away were the strategies. I have an afternoon class of emotional disturb students that cover all the over you mentioned. Little gets accomplished because of the behaviors, avoidance, and fights. I have tried rewards which works sometimes, speaking in private and cool downs. These work for some but not all. Biggest challenge is self directing with the students. The cursing, the bullying other students, and the inappropriate comments. I also found a few students are hungry. So feeding them is working. However, how can I manage this class with ED students and get work done?

[@tonytee5121]

I think the most important thing is just choosing your battles. It sounds like you have a pretty rough class, trust me I've been there. The best thing that worked for me was relating to the students and setting realistic goals. Yes, some of the students hated this at first and thought I was just trying to get on their good side, but when you're genuine with them they do like it. When you build a rapport with a student they're less likely to miss behave because they don't want to disappoint you. I'm very honest with my students, I'll admit that sometimes the work is boring but we still have to do it. I always use the word "We" as it implies that we're all in this together. In terms of the bullying, I've find that making it relatable to them makes them realise how awful it is. E.G. "How would you feel if someone said that to your mother?" The usual response is "I'd be angry." Which you then build on. You have to understand kids lack perspective, especially towards their behaviour so it's up to you to put it back in check. Hope that helps :)

[@FirstNameLastName-wt5to]

School is designed to be a controlling environment because it’s conditioning them for a lifetime of control under authority. That was always the purpose. The children are not the problem. They are reacting normally to you trying to train them to be slaves.

[@wendy8506]

Hi Kristen. I’m amazed at your knowledge around these topics, because you’re still so young. Excellent. What do I do when a student does everything the opposite way and in a bad way and to top it all, goes home to tell lies on you about hurting them. I’ve mostly tried all the positive options and some negative.

[@KristenBowenteacherteacher]

Thanks so much Wendy! I appreciate all the love! Obviously I don't know all the specifics of your situation, but a couple things: 1. Do your best to win over the parent. An alliance with the parents is super important so the kid can't spin the situation. You might try a messaging app or daily note home so they get a sense of exactly what's happening each day, or even a phone call! 2. Do you think the student wants attention or control? If so, it might be that they enjoy all the reactions they get when they act out. This is so hard, but I would try to ignore the smaller stuff and take back control. A good technique I've tried with kids who are obnoxious is to just make a tally every time they yell out or argue and how ever many tallies they have come recess time they lose. Or whatever privilege you feel comfortable. I hope that helps! Make sure you get on my email list because there is a HUGE resource coming that will help with this specific issue!!! :)

[@Jess-uk7ti]

I just wanted to add, a great resource for trying to figure out why a child is behaving a certain way and how to respond is to google the positive discipline mistaken goal chart. Positive discipline says there are 4 underlying or “mistaken” goals for why a child is behaving a specific way: power, attention, revenge, or assumed inadequacy. Once you figure out why a child is behaving the way they are you can figure out how to address it in a positive way and that mistaken goal chart will give you a few simple ideas of how you can react. I highly recommend getting the positive discipline book by Dr.Jane Nelson, but if you don’t want to do that mistaken goal chart is easily found online

[@sandymoore8778]

You would have been my favorite teacher, hands down! Love this video, thanks for sharing.

[@eduardoanayatfschannel8498]

I wish I had 50% of your patience

[@ssbsnb1200]

Half way through this video I realized how ridiculous it is that we even have to make a video like this. Really, when it comes down to it, these behaviors are just so prevalent that admin has adopted an attitude that basically says you are either a teacher who can entertain the students or not. However, they use the word "engage." They also will take the side of the students and parents in a heartbeat when a teacher is not "engaging" enough. In reality though, who can blame admin when there is not enough of them to truly devote the time it would take to deal with every student that needs an unreasonable amount of attention properly.

[@margkropf5541]

I totally agree with you. What a waste of everyone’s time.

[@margkropf5541]

It seems as if the teacher now needs to be a psychologist.Not the teacher’s job. How sad that today’s parents don’t parent.And teachers no longer have authority.

[@11evegrey]

I so appreciate you for producing this content.

[@sannasze1093]

thank you for sharing. ✌️👍👍

[@learnenglishforfree4213]

Same are here in Egypt! Thank you.

[@emilybacnun2510]

I teach preschool, so it's not one disruptive student. It's several ring leaders. The most obstinate gets attention from the other children who fall into her spell. She especially so when it is Circle Time and gets others to run around the room like manics. If we try to help them, they run out the door!

[@rhodoraruiz9437]

Thank you so much for sharing dealing with challenging students.

[@normaalaniz5979]

I’m sorry but where do I get the guide you talked about at the end of this video? Thank you

[@elizabethsimon3618]

Thank you for this video first time listening

[@djthereplay]

+Kristen Bowen First off , Welcome back to KZbin . Second , If no one told you that you look beautiful may I be the first one ? Third , back when I was an autistic student in elementary school in My City of Shelbyville Tennessee My Teachers ruled with a paddle that they'd swat on our behinds 3 times when I had My " Misbehaving " Occasions and today I look at teachers like you on here feeling like I have missed out on some things and some teachers that are available today that would have helped me cope better with school at a time when there was something interesting going on at home on the TV Screen outside of school . Let me put it like this . What happened to your clip chart ? In your old videos , Your answer to defiance used to be ultimately clipping them down and out of that classroom and into the admin's office ( in your case the office of the Dean ) . By the way , NONE of the schools I was a student at in My City had a dean in them . The highest position in the schools was the principal or vice principal . With that said , big ups to you for adding onto your strategies and handling things more positive reinforcement style like a champ . Keep that up and you will bring them around to you always . Here is one more for you . Find out what they like regardless if it's out of left field and speak with them on it to bring them back to positivity . Clue : I do have to say that I see a few Mickey Mouse designs in your classroom decorations . All that you would have needed to do is bring in the Disney to me and you would bring me back to positivity like good . Any teacher that would bring in the Disney would have had it made with me because I could stop them once they started teaching . :) I hope that the new school year will go well for you . - Dwight

[@brainbuilderspreschool5179]

BEST VIDEO ON KZbin !!!

[@sandrawilliams4105]

great tips thank you so much!

[@emilybacnun2510]

My response is, well I have to chase them sometimes, although, I have more recently stopped, esply. When they are alone, but I have to when they leave together and won't return because they play together out there thus avoiding Circle Time. They laugh at us because they are causing a ruckus. I secretly giggle about it but not so they see it, but we get so tired, physically since this makes for a long day. We have tried several strategies, and had to report to literally posting an adult Voulnteer to guard the door because more recently they have been running towards the street and Parking Lot.

[@carmgenuardi1738]

Thank you for sharing these helpful strategies.

[@easterwest28]

Where can i find the script you mentioned?

[@nbaylor1]

I teach 6th grade. Last year, one of my classes was generally hard to manage. Students often wore masks and made loud, odd and disruptive noises throughout instructional and independent work time. Because of the masks, I wasn't able to easily tell who was making the noises so I could address it. What suggestions do you have? My thanks.

[@pastorstandfest7377]

thanks for the tips. im always looking for more approaches with challenging students

[@bistrocooking320]

Excellent practical advice.

[@jenniferprezant7835]

How do you de-escalate a defiant pre-k child who's on the autism spectrum that won't listen to any of the staff & wants things his own way. If anything is different than his routine expectations he starts being defiant...this includes during his lunch. Refuses to eat..daily occurrence lately...& it builds from there.

[@mariaelena2132]

Thank you. This is so helpful. ❤️🙏

[@rohitisalwayspositiv]

Thank you for sharing 🙂🙏🏻❤️

[@karenaleman176]

You are amazing teacher

[@sadiqahhauber4754]

I enjoyed listening to this, but stopped halfway through because the background music made me a little annoyed.

[@ElizabethHernandez-kc5jn]

Useful tips.Montessori Inspired

Thank you for all these tips.

[@moseskafwabulula7068]

Very helpful Thank you

[@piradixon6497]

What about when there are multiple defiant children in your class?

[@SraZepol]

Thank you for your tips!!!

[@carlenedean8382]

Excellent advice!!!

[@lindahess5587]

I had a note from a class about your "5 Steps to Handle a defiant Student" dated 2016. The link no longer works. How can I find it? Thank you

[@karinae.schofield5605]

Ty!

[@Froggyzz05]

I wish my science teacher would be this kind because I have autism and when I get overwhelmed I get frustrated and can't help with labs or do assignments and I really don't want to get again

[@carlocontapay7780]

Excelllent...Thanks.

[@CathelynJoyImpas]

For now I have a students who always dis respect teacher's. He will shout, get easily angry and when I talk to him he always shout at me. And he got irritated when someone not give him the toys that he wanted. Please help me how to handle this student I Wanted to help him.

[@prospearatree8698]

Thank you for the great tips

[@sydevea1791]

What if the trigger is work. Math work, writing and reading work?

[@dalesims]

I agree with another of this but if the parents take control at the first of defiance and just correcting them does work then well old school not beat but woop there ass everything until they get the point!!!

[@softleywifey]

This is great advice!🎉🎉🎉

[@juliekrueger1692]

Hey Kristen great ideas thank you so much for sharing. I wonder if you have any ideas, suggestions, etc. for how a staff can handle admin who don't back up the teachers when it comes to bad behavior? My school is really struggling with a new administrator who does not believe in consequences. Thank you, so appreciate your help!

[@user-br4lb2tj4y]

Thanks for sharing

[@Jay-vs4fi]

Great video! Really good, I started a cover supervisor role. Any extra tips?

[@Catalinaqxx]

If the student threw dirty words to you, how would you handle it? 😅 it happened to me , I lost my temper 😢

[@melaniekinney5131]

I can't find the link.

[@jonnylukejs]

it's like you know ABA first hand!

[@kimberlyrose240]

I never received the behavior chart? I really enjoyed your talk and feel that I will benefit from your behavior chart for my students. please email a copy to me .

[@sylviadelossantos3988]

Hi. I'm so interested to read your behaviour script guide as I believe it will help me so much. However, each time I put my email address, it gets rejected. What should I do to access your script guide? Thank you so much.🙏🙏🙏

[@heidicosta2347]

Wheres the link

[@Doquiece]

Sounds like you have been doing Conscious Discipline by Dr. Becky Bailey. Almost verbatim.

[@FurryPoodle]

the link for behavorial script didn't work for me.

[@KristenBowenteacherteacher]

oh no! Check it now it SHOULD be fixed. Comment again if it doesn't work!

[@shanepesanka6292]

Ok wtf is the white orb thing floating up the wall in the back right at the time stamp 3:59? haha

[@nataliamatelski7595]

It looks like a diffuser or humidifier to me.

[@ikingjackson4088]

I was looking for a comment about that lol.I’m like I can’t be the only one that see it

[@zahraabdulla_]

Iam a teacher ❤️✋🏻 @8:13

[@tomatoautumnal9085]

Awesome video. Just don't add background music. This is an educational video not a makeup trend. :/

[@user-ov4wr5yu4r]

You mean fleeing or flying? Pretty sure it's not flighting.

[@easterwest28]

Fight or flight. That's the term.

[@ellagantt7732]

Or just quit your job!

[@jjc6530]

Honestly, These things don’t really work, it’s been tried. And also sometimes it’s very hard for the adult too, when a kid is cussing you out, calling you a m..fkr, even saying racist things about you. Any normal human being with feelings would be outraged. How do you control your emotions…

[@jen10272001]

I know it's hard to keep your cool but you can't take it personally. Many kids are acting out and trying to do whatever they can to trigger you but it's bc they are hurting inside. Hurting others is sometimes the only way to ease that pain. It's really a cry for help. There's a really good Key and Peele skit called Wise Bully that I always think about when I'm faced with a kid who's lashing out. Usually later I find out their home life isn't so great. So yes, some of these techniques may not work if you are dealing with an abused child whose is hiding dark secrets. Work on being the best you so that any hurtful comments will just roll off you and your focus can be on how you can best support the child.

[@johnnyyen3007]

It could be that the teacher's class topic being studied is boring. Or if you keep ordering students around and telling them what to do instead of asking them politely they are virtually bound to rebel. Image your school director being bossy and treating you like crap, you wouldn't put up with it, would you?

[@stephanieh5478]

I have a child who always gives my lead teacher and I a hard time, from knocking off his water bottle from the desk to yelling out random stuff. I don't rise, in real life and my classroom. I tend to slightly ignore the bad behavior but let the student know we wont tolerate the behavior. The lead teacher rises all the time!! ugh..

[@jingnanzh0417]

What do you mean ignore and then not tolerate 😂

[@stephanieh5478]

@@jingnanzh0417 I don’t react. In a very unbothered attitude I explain that whatever they are doing is not acceptable. Do you know what I mean? Children are smart, if they see you REACT they will keep pushing buttons. Best not to react/kinda act like it’s totally fine but later explain why they shouldn’t do something. For example, let’s say you do something incorrectly at work! You wouldn’t want your manager snap/react all crazy on you, right? Wouldn’t you prefer to calmly tell you that whatever you did was incorrect? I don’t know about you, but I would prefer to be told the correct way then seeing my boss react aggressively 😂

[@Johnkim4945]

Hello Kristen, Sent you a DM to your instagram account & e-mail requesting your permission to use your video for training purposes. I'll be waiting for your favorable reply! Have a great day:) Thanks!

[@ccc919]

Great advice!