8 Behaviors of Female Insecurity That Turn Men Off - Are You Aware Of It?

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Please support our KZbin channel by Subscribing - kzbin.info It means a lot to me to see you want to learn about these topics.

[@loveandgutstv]

To be fair, if girls need constant reassurance and they’re constantly asking that question it’s because they are getting signals the guy isn’t really into them. And they may not be aware that insecurity is stemming from those signals so they start asking the man, instead of just leaving.

[@angelachanellehuang5663]

Female superheros

[@nayanaparmesh5343]

1.constant need for reassurance 2. Over analysing every interaction 3. You are too easily influenced /swayed 4. Putting yourself down 5. Being competitive with other women 6. You rely too heavily on your sexuality 7. Hate spontaneity 8. Pretending to be someone else

[@sunshineagainandagain]

Some men do the same. They act the same and they turn us off too.

[@HaleyMary]

A lot of men act the same way, especially how they rely heavily on their sexuality or pretend to be someone they're not. I will say that hating spontaneity should be okay. Some of us have very busy schedules or are introverts and need to know what the plans are way in advance. Maybe those of us who are introverts should only date other introverts.

[@janice7378]

You are a blessing Thanks for the notes

[@inimolend]

​@@HaleyMaryMany introverts like spontaneity.

[@sunshineagainandagain]

@@HaleyMary 👍👏👏

[@rl798]

My problems are that im too authentic, kind and independent for most people. Oh well, i am who i am. If people can't accept me for me than keep on moving. Addition to my post. People take my kindness as a weakness. When actually it is a strength. Their loss!! I also meet so many people who pretend to be someone their not. Then down the line, their true self comes out. The head spins and they spew vomit😐. Yeah, that's when I 🏃 like hell😂. Seems that I get a lot of exercise😉

[@SaveTheMessenger]

I've personally found that the more authentic you are, the more you'll struggle to find people you can connect with. But once you find them, you'll have wonderful connections that others wish they had.

[@CeciledeLuire]

Wow, that really hits home. Even if i'm working on showing my wishes more instead of being *too* independent... Because, from time to time, i love being around people that i can really rely on. And reliability to me shows also when someone treats me well when i show a vulnerability or that i'd like a shoulder to lean on for a minute. And yes, i have the same experience: The more free and loving including healthy boundaries i become , the more difficult it gets to find people that match. Still worth the journey though.

[@blueskies773]

@@SaveTheMessengerthis is my challenge, too. People tell me that I’m authentic but I struggle to meet others who are who they say they are, too. It’s kind of scary to get to know someone and see the person they pretended to be unravel before your eyes. Or, they assume off the bat my kindness is fake and immediately treat me poorly. Makes me a little uncertain around people.

[@priyanam1776]

Same here girl

[@roser8911]

Yes girl. I was going to say same thing. Be who you are. You can’t pretend for a long time. L

[@1trueloveforever]

both persons need to be confident and ready to enter into this relationship. It's okay to want words of validation but you are not dating a therapist and nobody should have to try to fix you all the time.

[@taniadenise5145]

Amen!

[@SaveTheMessenger]

I'm with you on that.

[@Laura-si2xr]

You are right 👍👍👍

[@whiteorchid116]

I've personally struggled so much with being swayed too easily. I used to put so much effort into liking what my partner liked, his hobbies, eating certain foods, watching only what he likes because I'll have to like it too, and even dressing a certain way. He showed more interest in other women anyway and i felt exhausted from the effort so i had to leave him. If you didn't make this video, I'd probably go back to doing the same with my next partner. Thank you again Ismael. In fact, thank you always. ❤

[@g.flesch9731]

Look out for YOU. You will never be happy in your life if the other person gets all their needs & wants are met & none of your needs & wants are taken into consideration. You are worthy & deserve that in your life.

[@zullmiramajid475]

Relationship are NOT supposed to be this complicated. We just happened to be alive in a very bad time. Dont put too much blame on ourslves, the materilism, family unit breakdowns, no drive for expanding the legacy, no sense of community where people remind each other to build a family etc all led to what we see today. Having a husband became a privilege instead of a default state in our generation. Our parents failed us by not teaching us about life, they ruined us big time, all of us!

[@tessa6157]

Yes, much of.what you say is true, but it takes a Village to raise a child!😊

[@zullmiramajid475]

@@tessa6157 yes, as a single mom I completely get it. This fits into what I listed here, the sense of community is lacking, everyone is isolated these days, a dangerous state of things.

[@AkireMaru]

You sound like an entitled victim. You bore me.

[@peanut20002001]

Our parents also were not taught about relationships. 😚

[@zullmiramajid475]

@@peanut20002001 they should, just because their parents didn't teach them doesn't mean it is the excuse, I will teach my kids about relationship no doubt including all the lessons I learned. Survival of the fittest.

[@marshaphonda7057]

The fear of changing plans can also be Autism. It doesn`t have to be a sign of insecurity, Ismael. 😉

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Great point, lovely. There's always exceptions, especially if it comes down to a medial condition.

[@cherrylane79]

@@SaveTheMessenger It's neurodivergence, not a medical condition.

[@analauranobrega]

I think it all summons up to being a confident woman

[@Dasani_water_drinker]

Yes but then they are threatened.

[@ayatkhan4960]

Ismael , I'm happy that i found u on my lowest . I was on the verge of losing myself completely. Your advices literally helped me to get over a dismissive avoidant . I'm really grateful. Thankyou so much 🙏🏻💐

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Your comment brought a smile to my face. Thanks for letting me know.

[@artwithmamafairybreadd]

Honesty is the only way to build a relationship that lasts…that’s with everyone too…not just a man…your sister, mother…etc..

[@Fern_Yaz_Pets_Music]

With men though like in the video looks are the most important. A woman would always then be insecure in the way she looks.

[@elsagrace3893]

It’s normal to ask for reassurance especially if you aren’t getting any reassuring behaviors that show he values you.

[@slayforlife6229]

No it’s normal to leave then

[@Dev_R302]

not normal, buddy.. I mean, if you already know that he's inlove with you, then why you should ask? Unless you don't feel his love for you

[@falastinefreedom]

It is not actually 😅 it’s common but shouldn’t at all be normal. You can’t force someone to show they value you either they do or they don’t (based on their love language).

[@Cherrydearie]

I always find your content very mature and real. This didn't disappoint. Thank you for the wisdom you continually put out for us.

[@SaveTheMessenger]

I’m grateful. What are your thoughts?

[@ykt4343]

This video was so interesting. Thank you. I love it when you give examples inbetween including the personal ones you have from your own relationships. They make your message so much more clear to understand. I loved the one about how we should not change ourselves to suit what we think our partner likes. My partner had said quite early on in our relationship about how he likes women with long hair and I have a boycut but I never compromised and I stuck to what I wanted for myself and what makes me happy. He said would you ever grow your hair and I said no as I finally feel so happy with my hair and I don't want to. I said to him I wouldn't expect you to change your hair for me. We are still together. If we don't be ourselves eventually we will resent everything around us. If someone is not happy with the way you are then that person is not meant for you. I look forward to your next video, Ismael.

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

[@pamelabough2008]

1) Constant need for reassurance 2) over analyzing every interaction 3) too easily influenced 4) putting yourself down 5) being competitive with other women 6) you rely heavily on your sexuality 7) you hate spontaneity 8) pretending to be someone you are not

[@marialuisahernandezraga582]

Wow!!!!!! I’ve done many of these points you mentioned… no wonder my relationships are a nightmare

[@manatiluna]

👋🏼 Hi from Germany. I subscribed. Never would have thought to learn so much from a young man. And I apriciate how respectful you talk to us. Muchisimas gracias 😊

[@SaveTheMessenger]

From Germany and speaks English & Spanish. Bienvenida a mi canal.

[@emmax0000]

Ismael, tus vídeos son inteligentes y atinados. Mucha suerte con tu canal!🙌🏼

[@JannatHerzallah]

Anything turns them off

[@MelVidal-cc8mk]

Some men are also guilty of these behaviours after all we are all human beings right?

[@lindafish2789]

It helps to relax into the relationship. Giving him space, observing quietly, enjoying time together, gratitude, stepping up when you are needed.

[@MeBDollarsT]

I think these are also turn offs for a woman in a man

[@Angel_keres]

" Say what you mean and mean what you say " well said !! Thank you so much Ismael ❤ I really appreciate the time and effort you put into creating such valuable content. Your work is making a difference, and I'm grateful for everything I've learned from you. Keep up the great work-I'm looking forward to more of your videos! Thank you again!

[@SaveTheMessenger]

I'm glad my content is making a difference in your life. Thanks for taking the time to leave me such a lovely comment.

[@angelacastellarin]

This gentleman isn’t saying anything new. I would say, stop taking other people’s advice and learn about your own blind spots. You don’t need a man or a woman telling you what you should or shouldn’t do or say or shouldn’t say. People don’t come in a box. People are unique just as you are. This whole social media craze has definitely stopped people from even wanting to try to get to know each other in a natural way. Are you interested in someone? Great! Then let them know. If they can’t be bothered to be honest about their intentions let them go. KISS (keep it simple silly)

[@Clitimo1]

Second one was me but now I changed and realised that it is silly to keep asking again and again. Now I communicate with one word

[@lillired857]

ive yet to meet a man who didnt just want a Mum and sexual partner. Maybe thats why i stayed single, despite 11 proposals. I clearly need to stay away.

[@EsraaEsraagaber3001]

Ohhhh the firsttt,so reply Ismael🙆🏻‍♀️ I really like ur videos ,much love and support💗

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Haha thanks dear. I appreciate it.

[@EsraaEsraagaber3001]

@@SaveTheMessenger yaayyyyy!!

[@astridhanl4861]

This is sooooo fking important! I made so many of those mistakes in my past years... And also being triggered by unavailable, toxic, unfaithful partners.

[@sanoeteevaristo9797]

I really like your videos. Short and to the point. Excellent. Can you make some on how to add fun and spontaneounity to a relationship, please? I've actually looking into that, especially breaking the routine. Much appreciated.

[@Lotta_222]

Hi! Can you give some examples on how to be spontaneous? I would appreciate it :)

[@iRinnda]

Oh, you! I've put myself so down for decades it'd require a damn gravedigger to scoop me out of here🤣

[@roubad9034]

Be yourself and let the chips fall down however they will.

[@KarenSears-iu5ne]

They can say anything on text even phone it's not worth it have him call you so not always answer it❤❤

[@alethea6781]

I don’t think someone can deal with their insecurities by parroting these behavior changes. Faking it until you make it can be part of the strategy, but the deep source of insecurity has to be faced directly

[@deihnu8190]

so helpful thanks alot 😍😍❤

[@ayeshasiddiqua1491]

This man deserve millions of attention ❤

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Your comment made me smile. I appreciate you.

[@KarenSears-iu5ne]

Keep off the text and the phone he is right have him call you text is a game.

[@lizzieh431]

authenticity wins the most! I've encountered a guy previously who apparently was not compatible with me, but he was so honest that I valued him as a friend. He is a musician and I occasionally will take part in his concert.

[@JannatHerzallah]

Anything turns men off and i wonder what mothers are behind these 'men'. Who raised them😡

[@edenmichelle4373]

Why were you constantly putting women you were with in positions where they saw your attraction to other women?

[@KavyaYadav-u3c]

Sir can u make a video over crucial topics like compromising and sacrifices my best friend need this Example : her bf always wants her in good clothes (means not wearing strap tops shorts Capri crop tops middies damage jeans etc just simple and not showing much skin outside)this much means like cover ur legs upto ankle ,not wearing tight clothes as it reveals ur body curves, off shoulders,backless things, deep neck things light clothes that if ur bra outline is visible He thinks girls wear these types of clothes just to grab attention of any other man and if she is loyal to me she should wear these things in front of me and when the girl asks "can i dress up according to me like in short clothes when she will be with u in any restaurant Or outside in stadium in mall etc"....... He said clearly no to her dressing sense he said there must be other people too, she said u will be there for my protection I think and u should care about my opinions and choices and her bf asked this same if u love me u should care what I think She desires to be look fashionable and if she dress up according to her he yells at him and says u are not understanding u can't do this for me, he use to block her and when she realizes that she may loose him she agrees to what he says but not happy as she is opposite to him She thinks she should wear according to me She doesn't care what others says or seeing me that's there fault if they have dirty minds and wearing shorts and strap tops middies are normal and she is influenced by actresses clothes and way of living so she wants to look fashionable she said that if she will be with girls only then also she will wear acc. to her coz she dress up for her own confidence and comfortable point not for others but she got no appreciation and no support but her man can leave her for this external thing which matters for him said that u will find someone who will accept u like this and i will find someone new but she don't want to be separate but if she agrees to his thought she she will lose herself but she sacrifices her choices she feels bounded ,burdened that sometimes she can mould herself but her bf can't allow her can't change his thinking And this a major problem in many asian countries as in European countries this can't be an issue but here it is a major problem (I have written this much to explain the whole scenario so that u can go deep into the situation not just mug it up in few points) that what should she do now

[@kateelfridaodeh]

Thank goodness I found your channel. I used to be like this

[@yzma6142]

I hate spontaneity because my life is busy 😭 like I want people to respect my time. So in that way I’m like a man I guess.

[@makelifematter1896]

Love all your advise as you know but number 4 is a tough one when being with a Narcissistic Abuser for 30 yrs meaning someone always belittling and putting you down but I'm working had on changing my way the Luke Combs Beatiful Crazy ...that's me 😊and the last one be honest it's the inside that matters who you are❤❤

[@robynsanders5944]

Can a relationship get back together again as he has totally drifted away from me after I have sabotaged it with some of these behaviours mostly acting needy and always wanting to be around him

[@honeyyu1474]

Yes but ill suggest to expose yourself for your other options, go out with people who likes and appreciate you. It isnt easy at first because our minds are fixed with that person.

[@traceyduxbury4289]

I am definitely me through and through, I dance to my own tune trust me, so if somone is happy with me great if not no problem.

[@4d.4c.4b4]

"Say what you mean and mean what you say" - how do I know if he is saying what he says and meaning what he is saying? I am guilty and shameful about some of these because I believed I pushed him away because of the way I behaved. He said I didn't do anything wrong but I know well I did/said some wrong things too but wake-up call to be working on myself. Naturally, I like explaining myself a bit too much but mostly when the person involved is avoiding open communication, I ended up o sending long messages unfortunately 😞😔

[@SaveTheMessenger]

I would say always pay attention to their actions over their words. If someone says they're devoted and mature, but then you see they lack communication skills, they're inconsistent in the way they show up, then their words mean nothing.

[@peterpisspotty3052]

Intuition tells you if he cares or not

[@lindalika2846]

Thank you for your time and explanation as a women we need those thank you.

[@SaveTheMessenger]

I appreciate it.

[@robertivers4200]

External validation😮

[@anweshachakraborty1584]

Criticizing an actress doesn't make a woman jealous. If the guy really loves her, he should respect his girlfriend's opinion about the actress and if he cares about her, he should immediately stop liking that actress.

[@reason4being868]

You make some excellent points here. Sadly, a lot of women do these things because they work to get guys in the short run but they don't realize they are selling themselves short for a more mature, healthy emotionally and loving guy that they truly long for.

[@grachellebombardieri7663]

Thankyou south for yoyr words in helping me with my fiance and to have good relationshipx

[@BrightEyedBushyTailed-ld2mn]

It's cruelty for man to intentially make his woman feel like she's an option. Creating insecurities on purpose is lack of character.

[@patriciaedwards6793]

What if a woman constantly seels reassurance because she was so abused in her last relationship that she's just trying to make sure that she's not with someone else who is once again gping to hurt her again?Maybe women can have these flaws because their past relationships were not very successful due to their last partner either neglectimg their needs or downright abusing them

[@annabelsmart5305]

Yeah, guys do not do strings of sentences one after another. They get very confused and switch off. Short sentences only and not many of them.

[@elizabythesea72]

Thanks, your videos are authentic. Love how you call us ladies. Lol

[@ruthgarcia6589]

What about if u have a vibe that he has someone else beside me and he told me twice that he didn’t

[@honeyyu1474]

Overthinking and self sabotaging. Just enjoy the moment youre with him. All are fears are only projections and arent real.

[@ruthgarcia6589]

@@honeyyu1474 thank u

[@jessaye4921]

I'm guilty of 1 af 4, but I'm already married and have a VERY good relationship with my husband. That's because different people are turned-off by different things. It always amuses me how "experts" promote their personal views as universal.

[@VeraBarrera-m8o]

Hey I see a hole alot of videos about how a women should treat her man what about how should the man treat his woman it's a 2 way street

[@Gebruiker101]

6:22 What do you mean by heavily structured lives?

[@marfe8814]

Hahahaahaha i am like this. That's why i dont wanna have a boyfriend. 🤣

[@LadyMercutia]

“You hate spontaneity” No, I’d be thrilled if you spontaneously took me someplace nice. This actually always ends up meaning “I’m going to unexpectedly humiliate you in public by going in for a hug and then messing up your hair” or some equally juvenile crap, and then acting like you’re a jerk for not “being a good sport.”

[@toyinramos]

I love all ur advice . This is for me. Thanks

[@JannatHerzallah]

People have flaws . We are flawed. This annoys the crap out of me. How can you ever surrender yourself to love. Love is surrender, love is be able to drown in his love, his eyes, be completely yourself with your flaws. I am not saying disrespect but she can have her own flaws for whatever reason. This is why love sucks these days

[@ShopgirlNY182]

I hate to say I’ve been some of these behaviors in my past relationship with my avoidant ex which brought out my anxious attachment that I didn’t even know I had, so I guess our breakup was a blessing because I’ve learned so much about myself since then and how I need to heal my attachment wounds and clearly work on my insecurities to not make these mistakes again. I hope you know how valuable your content is!

[@charlottecheverton9227]

I must need to change the way I feel about intimacy then as my guy just ghosted me and I’m not chasing him ,like I’ve done in the past, it’s hurting ! Mind you I’m not sending naked photos or the like ! That’s just crazy and opens up to a world of disaster from predators, thankfully I’m much more sensible and aware. So thanks for this,

[@milks9289]

Ismael, this was a needed message. I'm deeply insecure and co dependent as a result of cptsd in childhood. I really appreciate this clear words and the hard truth. It would be helpful to hear more about the topic of insecurity in women and what does it do to relationships.

[@ColdBrewBarbie]

This was super helpful! Thank you!

[@VirginiaZambrano-ov4ll]

Ismael, your background with the doors one open and the other locked is somehow distracting. Maybe it brings memories of my past the men who got away and the ones who stayed.... it is strange how my mind thinks. Hope to have a love connection soon.

[@angelachanellehuang5663]

Women are knights too

[@tahsheen5720]

When man is actually pulling away suddenly then how to actually deal with them plzz ismael help me

[@ghaili1175]

Thank you

[@SaveTheMessenger]

I truly appreciate it.

[@sanhita2344]

I can relate to these

[@howdy-573]

As a woman, these insecurities would also turn me off

[@MelVidal-cc8mk]

This is a little confusing to me but I believe I understand

[@ElismaGoliath-jr7vk]

Thank you for your advice. It helps in so many ways. Much appreciated. ❤

[@mysteriousme3006]

😂😂😂I'm usually not their type though, 😂😂😂304 not me!

[@veredcohen9079]

What makes a man think that a woman is insecure if he never date her

[@MelVidal-cc8mk]

This is a hard blow and it hurts but I understand

[@suzanduplessis9393]

How can I fix things if he pulls away and I end up over stepping his boundaries?

[@honeyyu1474]

If a man pulls away give him space and focus and divert your attention back to yourself, to your life.

[@veredcohen9079]

Some people see manners as an insecurity 🤦‍♀️

[@PeaceLoveAndEternalGrooviness]

The last one just contradicted everythig you said before. Don't do all the other stuff BUT be authentic. I keep hearing women are damned if they. do and damned if they don't with everything nowadays and this one just proves it.

[@Gotoworkkk]

Authentically independent , confident and not a crybaby!

[@SaveTheMessenger]

What does being authentic mean to you? Because I think that's what may be creating confusion.

[@maryspangler4557]

Very well done...Thank You!

[@lindageiling5922]

Wouldn't it make a woman insecure when the man talks to u about the beautiful young women he works with . He never helps me feel better. He tells me I need to make myself feel better. He never says I look good or r even attractive. Why don't he do that. I'm guilty of many of these things

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Sounds like someone who doesn't lift you up. Why would you want to be by his side?

[@susanp7194]

Leave him please. That is not behavior that is considerate of you. He should not be talking about other women. He should be complimenting you. Please leave him, you will feel better.

[@honeyyu1474]

Thats the clear sign he doesnt want you if a man talks other woman. Men dont talk about other women if they like you. Its a turn off if youre dating and he's talking about other women, its okay to talk about it if only both of you are friends and not in romantic relationship.

[@77Tmiller]

Nice info!

[@sarahrettell88]

Great content. 3, 4 & 6 are my pegs I’ll be taking to work on! Thank You 💎

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Thanks! I'd love to hear your opinion.

[@sarahrettell88]

@@SaveTheMessenger I believe when I boil it down. A lot of these ‘knee jerk’ reactions I display with #3, 4 & 6 come from my up bringing. A certain layer of religious upbringing Really influences these behaviors..

[@kucingninja7934]

As soon as men opened their mouths to talk, they turned me off already.

[@ykt4343]

Not all men are bad.

[@lindalika2846]

When read this i started to laugh😮

[@shakilamalki8510]

My best coach ever from srilanka ❤

[@SaveTheMessenger]

You should see the smile on my face right now.

[@shakilamalki8510]

@@SaveTheMessenger 🙏🙏🙏❤ you deserve more smile as your name 😊❤

[@mariaguadagno9483]

Thank You!

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Much appreciated 🙌

[@priyanam1776]

The amount of pretention boys have...

[@effortlesssuccess2585]

I think it’s hilarious that you said men find it unattractive when women ask for reassurance. The only reassurance that you need is the look on the guy’s face. If his eyes doesn’t light up and he’s doesn’t have a smile on his face, it means you need to work more on yourself. 😂

[@ykt4343]

We should not need the reassurance. We need to just feel happy with how we feel about ourselves. We should not need to look for reassurance from anyone.

[@effortlesssuccess2585]

@@ykt4343 If you don’t know how to put yourself together to look good for yourself and your man, he’s going to be looking for better. No one wants to be with an average person.

[@nahtsch]

In reality most men don’t like authentic women, they like pick me girls who pretend to like everything they like. Btw: maybe your girlfriend was just genuinely expressing her opinion about the show, many female characters are poorly written, it just seems you were overthinking a simple situation, bro 😂

[@okk-kkk]

How to be more spontaneous (as you mentioned) if that’s not who you are 😅? Wouldn’t that be pretending to be “someone else” ?

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Remember it's self-improvement. You don't need to become extremely spontaneous, but there's always room for growth I believe.

[@sezza271]

Ok mainly number 1 and a bit of number 2. I've got some work to do.🫤

[@SaveTheMessenger]

Thanks a million. Time to get to work on yourself.