8 Life Lessons Completely Lost On Narcissists

If you are an insightful, growth-oriented person, you can be baffled by the narcissist's inability to receive truths that could be life altering. Quoting people like Einstein, Jimi Hendrix, Aristotle, and more, Dr. Les Carter highlights 8 major teachings that offer non-narcissistic perspectives on life. And even when narcissists proceed with their alternate reality, you can be all-the-more determined to be one who receives crucial lessons from those whose lessons are timeless.
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[@resolutebelle8761]

I like this quote: "Humble people are dignified, not because they believe their behavior can be an effective tool to control others, but because they have made dignity a part of their character." - Dr. Les Carter

[@svenial]

A wise man once said: „be careful who you let on your ship, because some people will sink the whole ship just because they can‘t be the captain“

[@ruthe71]

It’s better to be hated for what you are than loved for something you are not, is definitely not a saying that narcissistic people would agree with!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Great quote. Dr. C

[@dnk4559]

Love this!

[@lynnehaeberle5641]

I love this thought!

[@lailafarhan7944]

lol yes!

[@thedancelearner7721]

Because they are fake .and they get respect thru their fakeness

[@candybradford6468]

I will be watching this one again. Part of the difficulty in the healing process is that the primary narcissist in my life is one who is respected and admired by others and to whom they go for advice and counsel. I am learning that a narcissist will never see the error of his/her ways and is incapable of empathy. I know those statements sound harsh and finite, but it has been my reality. Each time I watch one of these videos I gain more insight, which leads to more freedom. Forgiving the narcissist has been difficult, but I feel the more I learn the more I realize it is not about me or something that is inherently wrong with me. On the contrary, it is all about the narcissist. And of course it is! 😄 Thank you again, Dr. C., for sharing your wisdom, knowledge and experience.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You're welcome. Dr. C

[@MegaMARLEEN1]

Health healthy and drc I go for it Always have And Always will Yea

[@marilynbrowman4272]

Yup. They cannot change. Its a challenge dealing with them. As I was told “shit or get off the pot”. I know my readons forc staying….. for now.

[@michellehoward5318]

Candy, well said. I struggle with my confidence in my competence. I have been in charge of saving lives as an RN, and was very successful with the respect and confidence of my peers. But there's the original narc, my father, reminding me how incompetent and inconsistent I continue to be (although I am now 48 yrs old) based on my decisions and actions when I was 19 yrs old (almost 30 yrs ago). I am always on guard for his criticism and snide comments. Even compliments are peppered with contempt and judgement.

[@michellehoward5318]

@@pearlygrace7607 I'm still coming to terms with the fact that my dad is a narcissist and my mom has a borderline personality. I wish I could see myself objectively. I never want to cause this damage to one of my kids. I just want to set a healthy example of balance, respect, and the benefits of reciprocal relationships absent of manipulative head games and overt dominance of one by the other.

[@annabellewhite8815]

The greatest life lesson that a narc will never achieve is that ultimate power comes from power over ourselves rather than power over others.

[@gertrudewest4535]

Power overs elves is our super power.

[@MrSuperbluesky]

They are scared of us I think that’s why they try to control us

[@TurtleHillTx]

Galatians 5:23 states that having control of yourself is a product of the Spirit living within you. No need to control anyone else! We are to humble ourselves before Him! Not anything a narc does or even familiar with?!

[@politicjunkee]

@@MrSuperbluesky they hate the attributes we have that they are incapable of having. So they are typically haters.

[@Picca65]

So true!

[@hopeinhumanity.]

They are severely deficient in integrity. They don’t understand that what they do when no one is around or looking still ultimately affects how they view themselves and how that erodes their self-esteem even more and down a rabbit hole of their own making it goes.

[@bobtaylor170]

Yes, and if the narcissist's circle has believed him to be a person of integrity, his exposure as a fraud is the fatal injury to his reputation. And a rough justice ( by the narcissist's standards, any justice is "rough," of course ) begins to be exacted against the narcissist.

[@MJ-od5sh]

My narcissist was obsessed with the word integrity & ironically I saw this early on he had none & he always blamed his ex for not having any . He was Delusional in everything he said .

[@gwendolynsnyder463]

Agreed. Just tonight, my Narc stepdad interrupted a phonecall my mom had with me by screaming at her, and then the phone was hung up. This happened after he had kept his shit together for some time, and I'm telling you, I was scared that he exploded this time more violently than he had before, so I left my phone at home, knowing damn well he's just gonna smash that thing once I pull it out, then ran to my mom. Strangely, it scared the shit out of him when I asked my mom in a worried tone: "Mom, are you ok? Do you need me to call the cops? I'll call them if they're needed!" He felt confident af to scream at my mom and my little sister, while I heard it on my phone, but as soon as I walked in and asked if the cops are needed, he yelled at everyone some more, and left. Idk where, or if he'll come back, I hope he left for good. But I never know. My mom is finally planning on kicking him out, and when he dares interrupting a phonecall I have with my mom like this again, I'll clap the cops on his buttcheeks.

[@politicjunkee]

It would be more palatable if they weren’t so self-righteous in their facade to everyone but themselves.

[@lesleyelalami2562]

You hit the nail on the head with the words 'no integrity'. That's absolutely it! Their fractured psyches means there's no integral being you're dealing with, they're fractured/broken..... bless them. And this is why they MUST control other people, because they can't control themselves. Controlling other people gives them stability and eases their anxiety...... regardless of the cost to others.

[@karenstanislaw8912]

Wonderful, thorough, and caring professional. Thank you, Dr. Carter.

[@Jettingred4]

It was once said “That people aren’t going to remember what sort of house you lived in, nor what sort of car you drove. Or even what fancy cloths you wear! People will remember how you treated them”! My dying mom said to me “Remember baby, A leopard Never changes it’s spots!” Those thankfully,we’re to become the wisest words she ever spoke, especially after my departure and No Contact with a Narcissist! Thanks Mom👼🙏😇

[@styles2155]

She's right 💯 my grandma said the same thing. She also said you can live with a man your whole life and still not know them. That ALWAYS stuck with me.

[@pd8827]

I’m not willing I have no problem getting

[@pointsbeingmade7996]

Smart mum.

[@gertrudewest4535]

Thank you for this. The first minute is spot on. People have put me down all my life because I live a minimalist life style so that I can enjoy nature and help her citizens. It fills my life with meaning, joy and sorrow. I felt so at peace as I listened to this, while I carried my bucket down to my local cattle guard (as I do every morning before leaving for work), to rescue the baby toads who have fatally fallen inside. I bring the back to my beautiful garden where I hope they can thrive.

[@janb5177]

Cattle grids are notorious for trapping hedghogs, too, but I can see how a baby anything might fall in and be unable to get out again. Could you not buy or build a suitable ramp that would allow them to escape on their own? Great work in constantly rescuing them, though, well done. :)

[@hippiecowgirl4231]

You are a treasure. Bless your kind heart

[@gertrudewest4535]

Thanks for the tip. Actually all I have to do is get out my hand trowel and push the sand up to the edge so they can crawl out but I don’t have time for that until my day off this Saturday.

[@astrialindah2773]

God bless you Gertrude

[@kellydrodgers8957]

You-are a beautiful kind soul. We need more people like you in this rush-a-day hectic world. Slow down, take time to experience the diverse beauty nature has to offer. 🏞 What a beautiful kind thing to do.

[@dawnbailey1132]

A wise person learns from others mistakes, a fool doesn't even learn from their own. (Paraphrased, source unknown)

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

It's that Anonymous person again. Dr. C

[@Sunny-iq6hm]

Good one

[@dawnbailey1132]

@@SurvivingNarcissism yes, and I'm so glad that I wasn't even tempted to take credit for it! 😉 Unlike some people I've known!

[@jaimhaas5170]

They hate it when they create a bad situation then later try to exploit it by claiming you caused it.

[@ShelleyFayles]

Fact!

[@Sunny-iq6hm]

Of course! Look what you made me do!!

[@anicoleratliff2681]

So true. "If you didn't accuse me then I wouldn't do or say this, this and this!" "No human being on this earth wants to be accused all the time!" Although, these were not accusations, they were lies discovered and exposed by me. So glad to have finally escaped that madness. The narc will make you feel like you're losing your mind as they pull you into their darkness.

[@anicoleratliff2681]

@@pearlygrace7607 You're soooo right. That's why I find it a waste of time to even try to explain it to someone who has never experienced it. It's like speaking jibberage. I just tried to explain it to a friend a couple of nights ago and his lack of understanding was just baffling. I don't blame him. It's beyond belief unless you've personally been sucked into Game of Darkness. Yes, mind games on top of mind games that don't end until you make your exit.

[@anicoleratliff2681]

@@pearlygrace7607 Exactly. Lol. They don't understand why I spend so much time by myself and why I stay in so much. Between my great escape from the narc and the virus I spend the majority of my time alone. I feel like my brain has a lot of healing to do. Literally

[@libbynovotny9979]

My ex boyfriend had no clue what insight was I had to explain it to him and he said nothing

[@Wearethechamps]

Hi live from UK. So good to be here LIVE after successfully leaving, divorcing and enjoying life beyond a few narcs. Thanks for your work ive been lead to come across ✌🏾💐

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased the videos resonate! Good luck moving forward. Dr. C

[@bradmcewen]

No better happiness than not engaging with chaos if possible.

[@starshipgraffiti]

Great spirits have always encounters violent opposition from mediocre minds- Albert Einstein

[@StihlmaddArborist]

Narcissistic personalities are crazier than cracked out squirrels …

[@jennyanderson4796]

❤this quote

[@brynnleapierce5600]

I listened carefully to your words & the quotes you referenced, it made me realize what value can be applied to my life. While being a part of this community the lessons I'm learning is not just about the Narcissist, but teaching me how to modify & improve for a better life. Thank you ❤️😊

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Exactly! Dr. C

[@Feribrat99]

I remember hearing Jimi Hendricks saying that in an interview, He was a thinker along with Morrison and for a while Janis was as well. Reps of a lost generation for sure.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

All 3, I had their albums. Dr. C

[@peggyriordan9857]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Had????? LOL! I still play them frequently...love the memories they bring.

[@chelleb3055]

I'm sure this one will be good (they all are) but here are 8 life lessons for survivors of narcissistic abuse. 1: it's not your fault you were duped into believing their lies. 2: you are worth far more than they want you to believe. 3: you really do deserve better. 4: you can't fix them. 5: you can, however, fix yourself by watching channels like this one and learning how to not fall into a narcissists trap ever again. 6: you don't have to live in shame. 7: you don't have to explain yourself to anyone, especially their flying monkeys. 8: you should go no contact if you want to live a happy life. 💞 🌞💪

[@meow2u22]

@@rorywright5692 That's because the narcissist is a master of conning and gaslighting you into falsely believing everything's your fault.

[@jackierobinson8785]

Your clarity is impressive...

[@chelleb3055]

@@jackierobinson8785 Dr. C gets all the credit, to be honest. I have learned all of this from watching his videos and applying them in my own life. He's a life saver!

[@pearlnova8891]

💜💫💜

[@KoolT]

This is just wonderful. Les has helped so many many people.

[@annking8633]

I just strung these pearls of wisdom around my neck. Thank you so much Dr. C. You and Laura have helped me become a whole and free person. I feel comfort for the first time in my life and it's amazing.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That's food for my soul. Thanks, Ann, and best wishes as you move forward! Dr. C

[@manimekhalai8256]

"Love is the strongest force the world possesses and yet it is the humblest imaginable." (Mahatma Gandhi) - Another thing that narcissists don't quite understand.

[@alysiahite12]

The famous quotes are great...thank you for sharing. I am on team Healthy for sure.😊

[@oliviagraham6898]

I made friends with a youtuber in LA, she love bombed me and made out we were great friends, after some time started picking and crticising things … then straight to opinions I had to agree with. Spoke to me everyday BUT my birthday and my daughters birthday… like I can talk to you everyday but the day that’s about you… radio silence… Listened to all her youtube problems but no time for things in my life.. When my friend who is a paramedic dealt with a stabbing of a 22 yr old. I felt so bad when I heard. This person asked - how was your day. I told her of the stabbing and she said oh guard yourself from these things? No empathy. Lots of icky feeling red flags. The eeky feeling is the feeling you get when you are with a narcissist that is your gut telling… get away now!

[@piperbm801]

I wish I could speak to you. My father is narcissistic and controlled me all my life and now that I'm independent I'm vulnerable to his manipulative attempts through finances to bring me back home, and I cannot win any argument against him, he refuses arguments. Actually, I see you as my preffered father figure in hard times. I love your videos and thank you for your time and energy in fighting toxicity in this society.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

Their ability to accept our love and kindness is completely lost on them. Really quite sad, I think. I have chosen to forgive them as God has forgiven me.

[@jonathanjollimore7156]

I'm leaning a life lesson right now don't drink so much ouch.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Stay strong! I hope this video will hit home for you. Dr. C

[@kathyadair8552]

An ex-bgf, was buried, today.(Her bro thought she was BPD. I agree.) Alcoholism runs in the whole family. It took its toll on her health! Soo sad for her 100 y.o. Mom to have to bury her 2nd child. It destroys lives. My li'l brother, actually, made it to 60! + 3. ~ Now, is the time to get a jump on it. Good ☘ Luck!

[@javierarreaza5601]

Dear Dr. Carter, could you please do a video on narcissistic shrinks? How can patients who may have a hard time trusting their own perception protect themselves from such predators?

[@sage9836]

There has been alot of work put into in this video! It's easy to fall into seeing the narc as an example of what a winner is, after all their targets have lost alot. But they are an example of how not to do life. The quotes and reflections on them are a reminder of the importance of choosing to take the high road.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You get it, Sage. Dr. C

[@Sunny-iq6hm]

My favorite quote "Love the Lord with your whole heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself". Obeying this would eliminate narcissism from one's life.

[@javiervidal366]

Amen. They can't even love themselves (for them it's a superficial love) and certainly can't truly love others and are lost souls.

[@Sunny-iq6hm]

@@javiervidal366 very sad, isn't it.

[@leondedelmare1107]

No one can take dignity away from another person. The Apostle Paul was imprisoned. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Was imprisoned. The Apostle Paul wrote his epistles to the churches. Dr. King wrote books lincluding "Strength to Love." Both were devout followers of Jesus Christ.

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

Great offering, Dr. Carter! TY! I love encouraging quotes and these are great ones. The Maya A quote is my all time favorite. Thank you for continuing to help others even in your retirement! You’ve helped me so much.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks, Kelly! Dr. C

[@ltyrell405]

Haha I love the Abraham Lincoln quote, he definitely said some wise things, however there is also the possibility that getting to know someone you don't like might also confirm that your first instincts were right about them and you have good reason not to like them?!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That's true. Dr. C

[@Betscu.]

Mandela's words how to preserve your dignity should be used by everyone against all sorts of regimes and people that don't respect your dignity.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Yes. Dr. C

[@antihero1484]

Some people aren't able to regulate their emotions. It is a immaturity, but it is very sad to me.

[@stacymurphy2599]

That's what I think the problem really is.

[@antihero1484]

@sahzhu, Anti-hero is just a unconventional hero

[@antihero1484]

@@stacymurphy2599, And, I agree (not being able to control your emotions) doesn't necessarily mean you're immature.

[@stacymurphy2599]

@@antihero1484 From what I've witnessed, it causes severe anger, enough to make them clench their fists at their sides especially if it's in a romantic relationship.

[@joywebster2678]

Inability to regulate anxiety, panic, sadness.......is not about immaturity. Personality disorders included narcissism isn't about immaturity. If they were, they all could be cured by helping them mature or grow up. We know that's not possible. Those who have inability to regulate may learn some techniques to help regulate, but it doesn't "fix" the disorder.

[@hubertmantz1516]

I endured this kind of abuse from early childhood until adulthood from a demanding narcissistic mother and an even greater narcissist in the form of my uncle - in - law who was also an extremely racially prejudiced person plus a bigot of such high proportions that I feared him! Everything i said was always wrong but he was always right even if he was proved to be wrong 😑 I’m glad he’s dead! Dno if I came out entirely unscathed from the abuse of these two individuals but I sure as hell survived and ultimately proved them both wrong to their ultimate surprise! I had the pleasure of being the one to have the last laugh! Hahaha 🤣 lofl..

[@bradmcewen]

Those quotes are just amazing. Toxic people aren't nothing knew. But usually it's seen from afar. Up and close another story. I pay attention to song lyrics closer nowadays. This has been going on for ages. " I don't like you, but I want to know more about you" Can you imagine the look on someone's face. Hey whoa! There's a song start right there !

[@firefly5981]

This was a wonderful presentation utilizing some of the world's great quotes from the minds of respected people who I admire and chose to learn from. Thanks for putting this together for one and all to benefit from. This series is golden. Bravo.

[@saragardiner1960]

The narc really believes they’re good & kind and deserve praise, to the point of telling people how good & kind they are! So frustrating when acquaintances ( people who will never see ‘that’ side) agree & reaffirm it

[@wendychavez5348]

I firmly believe that each person on this planet has a reason for being here. I've met a few who seem to have no reason for existing except to hone me into a better person. Someone pointed out that creating a high quality sword is traumatic for the blade as well as the craftspeople, the fire, the anvil, the water, and the sharpening stone, though the resulting tool is as beautiful as it is useful. I didn't understand at the time that the man I was involved with is a classic narcissist; I did understand that the person making that analogy understood exactly what I was experiencing. I hope this image helps someone as it did me!

[@kimberleymurphy3512]

Pffttt. Einstein was a chronic philanderer, took credit for his wife's theories, as she was a brilliant physicist as well but was expected to keep her genius quiet & stay home with their two sons that he NEVER spent time with & his oldest son attempted suicide from being so depressed from his father's neglect😒

[@acustomer7216]

Well of course he'd make such a statement so others would view him the way he wanted vs the way he was!

[@Violets14]

Dr. Carter's use of the quote stands on it's own and reinforces a good point about altruism. That aside though, I did not know about Einstein's personal life and I'm glad you mentioned this - as you understandably see some hypocrisy in the quote. I am now intrigued about Einstein's wife's contribution and intelligence too.

[@DJGive1]

So I'm curious - can a narc who doesn't have any respect for an individual actually love that individual? Or is it just a false status statement in some sort of manipulative plan? Curious because I've never felt truly unconditional love from my mother even tho she States she loves me but doesn't have common respect for me nor does she treat me with respect whatsoever. Kind of makes me angry that the way she tries to teach me that it's ok for the world to treat me disrespectfully by the way she feels it's acceptable to treat me. I've always treated my child how i want the world to treat her - with respect and observing her individuality. Oddly enough my daughter doesn't speak with me for years because her immediate n mother is a bad bad person beyond NPD... IT'S a shame and blows my mind....

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

In the end, with narcissists, relationships are really transactions. Dr. C

[@ruthsnyder1020]

I like your attitude. Attitude is everything everything. God-bless

[@Mehmet-rw9bu]

So encouraging and motivating, thank you Dr. C! 😁

[@lesleyelalami2562]

"If you find yourself walking through hell, walk as if you own it" (and you do own the spot you walk on!) is one quote I've come across recently online. ALSO.....I loved this comment on your Dark Empathy video, explains it all succinctly. "The Control Pathway (real or imagined control) has an inverse relationship to the Anxiety Pathway in the brain. Narcissists learned early that Controling people animals events in their environment was a way to ease the extreme Anxiety they experienced, as a child in an unhealthy environment. Its just a temporary fix though and the Control sensation must be fueled constantly, and especially during challenging situations. This formula, control up = anxiety down... rules their lives and cannot be undone. Healthy ways that people learn to deal with anxious ness aren't as available to a child dealing with more extreme situations without help... and they don't develop Empathy as a result. Other people dont exist to them in the same way we understand, so they become the Only person in the world, a megalomaniac type person. Other people only exist to fuel the sensation of Control, as Pawns, Targets, and Henchmen who extend the gathering of that sensation of control out into the world.".

[@fernandocazares270]

That NPD demon broad taught me so much, about myself..

[@pamelahart1251]

I'm so pleased to have found this site about narcissism! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You're so welcome. Dr. C

[@cmdm3788]

I LOVE this. So positive. Loved every single quote. Plan to contemplate each one. Please do this again, Dr C. I know you’ve got more! ♥️

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Will do. Thanks for this good feedback. Dr. C

[@naseemrehman7000]

I genuinely just need some real responses. 2 and 1/2 years I gave this woman everything. To the point her kids ask me to stay with them. But I need to know she's a narc. Someone who reverses anything you say or ask back on you. She refuses to literally answer questions to my face, at times mockingly. Pretends she wants the things I want but we're, if anything, more distant now than ever. Very intense in the beginning and of course an exact representation of everything I wanted, which is to be expected, then flipped. Never really came back. Really only made minimal effort and that was when I'd go silent or she wanted something physical from me. I used to ask her, why don't you want to be better for each other? Support? Uplift? In all our time together she literally said nothing she's ever done is wrong. Highly sexualized. Seemed to be proud of like, having seen adult films at like 6yrs old. Copious stolen adult dvds. 2 kids one at 18 the other a few years. I was an ace. Happy. My life together. Great job etc. I dumped her for the hundredth time. I just need to know im not going crazy and it's not me. She was always correct. My reality and existence never were. Even with breadth of explanation, her narrative was all that existed. Id catch her reversing exactly what I was saying about her, right back to me..humorously.. I gave EVERYTHING. Everything. For nothing. Sorry for the long one.

[@peggyriordan9857]

Therapy will help you find the answer to your question. In the meantime, maybe concentrate on making yourself a better person by helping others who truly need it. You can't fix her nor is it your duty/responsibility to fix her. Your duty is to develop yourself and any child you made in this marriage. I hope you find some peace.

[@joywebster2678]

Have you looked up borderline personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder? Not every disturbed person is a narcissist. You need to protect you, and be a friend to the kids from a distance. Therapy would be a better use for your funds than her. She will never give what she originally promised.

[@lynnfincham6839]

A thief will steal your wallet and run… a narc will steal your wallet and help you look for it

[@janb5177]

Oh God, Lynn, that made me laugh in a most cynical manner!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That IS pretty funny. Dr. C

[@janb5177]

@@sandraharrill4876 Spend it and claim someone came into the house and stole it. :) Seriously, though, that's beyond gaslighting - that's treating you like you're completely stupid. Is he dealing drugs on the side, or something? But, then, he clearly put the money in a place where he knew you'd find it. Is there a chance he put it there simply to gaslight you?

[@lynnfincham6839]

@@sandraharrill4876 … I would hide it 😂

[@lynnfincham6839]

@@janb5177 … if he said where is my money I’d say what money? Oh that I gave it to charity as no one was claiming it 😂

[@hauntedheart3924]

5 star episode. Thank you so much.

[@lenaleong4894]

Thank u much appreciated

[@Robidu1973]

Another one that's completely lost on narcissists (one of my favorite quotes): "I don't know whether things are becoming better if they change, but they have to change to become better." -- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg The narcissist is attemptng to stick with what he knows so he is refusing to change. That's why he cannot stand if others are changing some parameters about themselves (even if it's something minor as an aspect of their outward appearance) or if they are detecting a facet of other folks that they didn't know about before (sheesh! Now my mind is speeding in many different directions all at once... yikes!). Also, because they refuse to change anything about themselves, they may see it as preventing themselves from deteriorating further, but they are in no way going to improve. A narcissist is never going to get that.

[@sorad5791]

I love the timing on the ads in your videos, they're always funny.. like a quote from Abraham Lincoln is - ad* Thank you so much for your content, it is very encouraging and reassuring. Helping me understand my relationship with my family alot more clearly and I'm learning the skills needed to set healthy boundaries while remaining kind and understanding.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad to hear this. I have no idea what google will do with ads. In the meantime, keep learning! Dr. C

[@lienlael3196]

As the man think, so is he.

[@sarahcinnamonthriving9563]

FANTASTIC shares!!! Though, my parents were violent, Malignant Covert Narcissists, with BPD AND bipolar issues... They some how seem to fool most ppl, and for decades! I was their main supply... and each other was secondary... I saw them bloody each other, stab each other, spit on each other... It was my job to clean up or tend to my younger sibling from the age of 4/5... My younger sibling- whom they mostly spoiled- they groomed into a friendless, usually jobless, addict Narcissist. YET, so many family and friends were always SO charmed and seemingly enamoured with them, despite their talking endlessly DOWN to most ppl... Actually more talked AT ppl... Monopolizing convos, and rarely truly respectfully listen with reciprocity. And these others were often quite successful and educated ppl of all ages, cultures, and backgrounds... They had huge social circles... Long term, too! And there is not a single person whom they did not gossip about, criticize, or mock behind their backs! YET, so many of those ppl would gush at me that I must feel SO lucky to have SUCH INTERESTING and knowledgeable parents... And the few ppl and times their mask slips were witnessed- ppl were SO ready to "forget"... Always blew my mind. And yup, they would even hypocritical lecture AT others, these kinds of quotes, while ABSOLUTELY not walking their talk with even a fractional iota of sincerely aligning with such! If those ppl had ever seen how often they were crazed and violent to each other and me "behind closed doors" they would probably literally be terrified and want to vomit. I was regularly beaten with iron fireplace pokers, my own hockey sticks, rolling pins, strangled, molested, concussed... and almost daily told I was their "donkey" and "slave" owned by them, and that, therefore, they did not need to "ask" me to do things, they just needed to beat me. I ran away at 16, after my dad tried to run me over in a mall parking lot with his full size pick-up truck, when he was supposedly there to collect me from work. And into my 50s, I unfortunately ended up entangled with many variant Narcissists, including OTHERS with BPD and Bipolar... Even requested I get assessed MULTIPLE times... Nope: C-PTSD with the ADHD common to child abuse/ developmental abuse survivors, plus anxiety and panic disorders. Despite this, I had a long fulfilling career working with high risk, high needs teens and adult learners... Plus other personal life experiences (parenting, fostering, volunteering, homes, travel, long term friendships) through major ups and downs, in part caused by unhealed trauma/ developmental abuse issues. I am SO glad neurosciences and other psycho-social developmental fields are improving the understandings of all this, and to live in times where so much discourse and info is freely accessible. I am also, though, concerned, that the more I learn of all this, the more I see issues such as Narcissistic Traits evident in our key systems and powers. I hope masses will come to better notice and value sincere unifying values for mutual well-being, such as in the quotes shared in this video.

[@patriciasaldanha3165]

Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country🔹️ JFK - Give many thy ear , but few thy voice🔹️ Shakespeare

[@denitsadzhurova8802]

Thank you! ❤️ Respect!

[@claudiaaguilar6845]

Good words all! Let's not pretend they aren't all plagiarized from scripture. But that's okay; the scriptures were written to be plagiarized and heeded.

[@carolhampshire7820]

Let's never try to get even with our enemies,because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them.Lets do as General Eisenhower does Let's never easy a minute thinking about people we don't like.I try to do this when people are awful with me .not many but they are there .

[@carolhampshire7820]

Waste a minute thinking sorry

[@engleharddinglefester4285]

8 lessons lost... #1. Be nice rather than abusive towards the people, esp. the children you live with.

[@juanitafalin7636]

So glad I found your channel and it's so informative and helps me a lot.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Very pleased! Dr. C

[@danielkaiser8971]

I thoroughly enjoyed hearing the quotes of famous people and how their wisdom ties in to healthy ways of thinking and behaving.

[@ltyrell405]

Re the MA quote it depends how you interpret it; the way you make people feel may not necessarily be 'good', different people will have different responses to what you say/do, one person may take something positive and another may have a very different interpretation?

[@vanessapehl7581]

Dr. Carter I like the quote from Maya Angelou too...thanks again

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks. This video is a favorite of mine since it prompted me to look into quotes like hers. Dr. C

[@deeleon1565]

Brilliant, Dr! Your always giggling, which helps. Thank you so much from England.

[@Teacher369]

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ this video Dr Carter ☀️. Are your other favorite quotes listed somewhere? 🙏 ☮️

[@recoverywithlee2591]

Thank you Dr. Carter, this is so helpful for all of us. As we explore the areas of oursleves in unflattering way, in efforts to embrace all we can become, it's important to put questions to ourselves, and explore these answers as honestly as possible.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You're most welcome. Dr. C

[@iaap123]

The Albert Einstein quote is probably false. He treated his first wife very badly, and wrote out to her a list of ways she needed to act and be in order to be accepted by him. Don't believe that these quotes are attributed to the people you think they are.

[@cymbolichuman433]

A song came out a long time ago..."Sunshine go away from me...I don't feel like dancing...How much does it cost? I'll buy it...You can't even run your own life...I'll be damned if you run mine." Those are excerpts. So meaningful when you see how they can't be what they want you to think of them.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Jonathan Edwards? Dr. C

[@stacymurphy2599]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Yes, "Sunshine Go Away Today."

[@mmm-ko9my]

👍 great content. thank you.

[@carolnahigian9518]

The mightiest Warrior conquers them SELF!!!!!

[@251omega]

Are you a "THUMBS DOWN BUTTON" hit and run artist? Don't you think we could learn from you, if you explained why you voted that way? Some people say I'm wasting my time by even asking, but, I think they're wrong, and we CAN learn from you. Prove them wrong and tell us WHY . (In fact they sounded suspiciously similar to the Narcissists we are studying! Not very EMPATHETIC!) Or you could just tell me "where to go"!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Not sure what you are referencing. Dr. C

[@251omega]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Sorry about the ambiguity, I notice how people use the vote buttons and was asking people who vote "Thumbs Down" to add an explanation. We can see if they are trolls or legit, and they might have a point that we can learn from. That's all. I didn't mean to waste YOUR time, (or anyone's time for that matter!), but thanks for responding. Dr.C, My respect for you just keeps growing... Thanks.

[@ukulelechick6702]

"When things change inside you, things can change around you..." spot on!

[@juanitafalin7636]

Love that healthy alternative

[@gertrudewest4535]

If people spent as much time refining their skills in using anger, as they do training to fire their guns and other weapons of death, we’d be living in a different society. I would love it if you ran for president. I believe you could win.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Good grief. I'd go stark raving coockoo if I wound up in the middle of that bunch. I keep up with politics enough to be informed, but I find my equilibrium from other sources. Dr. C

[@gertrudewest4535]

You don’t need to know politics. That’s why you pick a good cabinet. Your job is to deliver State of the Union addresses like this, every day.

[@elanahammer1076]

A good assortment of leaders. Thank you 🤔🇺🇸❤️

[@aletheagaddishaw3749]

The only pronoun narcissists knows and use most often is "I" Me, myself and I

[@yoramalon5273]

Speaking words of wisdom. Let me be.

[@laurac7130]

Great insight and wisdom Dr.Carter! Thank you❤️

[@HandbrakeBiscuit]

Jimi Hendrix also said " 'Scuuuse me, while I kiss this guy..!"

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Did Jimi say that? I'll take it, one way or another. Dr. C

[@HandbrakeBiscuit]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Hi Dr C. It's a popular 'misheard lyric'. The actual line (from Purple Haze) is "Excuse me, while I kiss the sky." He also said "Before you go pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean" and "Knowledge is talking, wisdom is listening." Thanks for another excellent video..! :)

[@stacymurphy2599]

Whaat? The lyrics are written "Excuse me while I kiss the sky." Good grief! lol

[@HandbrakeBiscuit]

@@stacymurphy2599 Hi Stacy - yes, that's the official lyric. But listen to the song and you'll see (hear) what I mean. :)

[@prettysmile6869]

Lets all go to.......Love Affair - Rainbow Valley

[@lifewithapurpose237]

7:49 ... unhealthy people have untamed Anger. [ so true ]

[@wifferstess2824]

One of the solaces for me is life has a way of teaching lessons to all of us. Most times it doesn't talk, it just "pushes us around". And it has a way of teaching especially to those who do not want to learn. Think of the lessons as mack trucks coming along about to hit you. The same trucks keep coming at you until you learn the lesson but they start off manageable at first. However, each time a lesson is avoided, the mack truck gets bigger.

[@rmz4504]

Try working in a mill. Tough goings

[@zulemaflores8796]

Goats can't get along with sheep. We can't be around toxic people.

[@shelleysolomon2228]

You are special

[@ralphstadler7373]

Thank you, great info!!

[@sues.6173]

Can one be born a narcissist? Through DNA? I truly believe this narc behavior can also be in their DNA. Lacking empathy. When my daughter was around age 2- 3, she would tell me what she wanted and go after it vs. genuinely ask like most kids do. “I want this…”, vs. mommy, can I have?…”. She had an offish nature. She had a hard time giving hugs etc. At that young age, (in my mind only), I gave her a middle name of ‘Manipulative’. Narcissist run in my husbands family and my adult daughter has many of the behaviors since she was very little. Is this true about having abnormal DNA?

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Yes, it is a combination of both nature and nurture. Dr. C

[@janetsanford2342]

I hardly think it is wise to disagree with Nelson Mandela, but a man tried for twenty years to take away my dignity and he lost that battle, it's true but he now understands that he was wrong and is changing for the better. I think that is a winning of a war.

[@si7ent113]

I've worked at my job with a co-worker for many years. I've never really heard about narcissists until he moved in directly next door to me. Thanks, Doc. Namaste

[@carolhampshire7820]

Same .

[@lauriej.5706]

My mother was born into a generational socialist cult. She believed she was part of creating a better world. My father got into trouble with her group and was punished by them in various ways; as part of his punishment I wasn't allowed to be part of youth training and therefore not part of this cult group. According to my mother, I was a useless person who had nothing good to offer anyone ever. Her people were the kind of socialist fanatics that created the Jonestwon disaster. She told me the only way I could contribute anything positive to the world would be when I died; only my death could make the world a better place. She urged me to commit suicide on two occasions. And was absolutely convinced she was one of the best and most valuable people in the world. If anyone contradicted her, they would suffer for it, or even possibly find themselves a murder victim. People trembled in fear of her. She believed she was perfect.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That's really sick, twisted thinking. So glad you're moving in a much different direction. Dr. C

[@lmccauley7319]

So true, every word you said.

[@jennyanderson4796]

Rich episode

[@patriciasaldanha3165]

Good evening , Dr. C🤍 I loved all the quotes but the ones which resonated the most with me were ( 1 ) the lady 's ( 2 ) the Anonymous Guy or Girlie one - These two tie in with the first two quotes , also Mr Mandela 's ; they are plain Good Common Sense ( which , sadly , is quite uncommon ) . As for Mr. Lincoln 's , I agree with him but I would say to him " but that technique / strategy wouldn ' t make me love him , would it ?? " 🤣🤣🤣🤣 But I wouldn 't go so far as to say it was a new fangled idea🤣 This was a nice new approach , doctor 👏👍👍👏 Doctor, and just like the quotes , you were , a la fois , discreet , dashing , dapper and debonnair in that dark shirt 🤣🤣🐕🙏🎯💖🖼🐕‍🦺🦋🤣🤍👏🤍

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Bonjour, Patricia. And merci. Dr. C

[@patriciasaldanha3165]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Tout le plaisir était pour moi , Monsieur 🤍🦋🖼 💚🐕‍🦺🤍🎄

[@patriciasaldanha3165]

@@SurvivingNarcissismFriday Sep 21 - 6h21 🔹️ Bonjour Dr C They ' ve been talking a lot about Texas lately - the laws on A - it 's worrying . Have a l☀️ o⭐ v🦋 e🌛 l🍀 y 🌠 day☕🍎🍊🥨🧀 🍓🥝☕🍯🎄⚘🌳🥀🌴

[@imnoel8214]

"Purify your heart", being transcendant-that's a great pearl to add to our lovely string of wise truths, especially with all the difficult things going on in the world. Thanks Dr. C!

[@sherriswain1299]

Thank you-you are a blessing-

[@decoder3449]

Well it sounds like I'm a complete narc.

[@lifewithapurpose237]

⁵sept: "Our prime purpose in life is to help others. and if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." by: Dalai Lama

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

This one I like! Dr. C

[@lifewithapurpose237]

@@SurvivingNarcissism : ⁵sept: Dr. Carter, 'Nothing is taught unless something is learned'. I learn so much about my relationship and myself when i comment/ share to your marvelous educational videos. You are a good teacher doc 🧸.

[@leanneb9111]

Really insightful quotes.great thinkers.thanks to them and thanks to you Dr carter for your wisdom.

[@justj4021]

I'm going to watch this one again. All your videos are so helpful. Thank you!

[@olgakim4848]

Here's another one for you, doc: "We lift ourselves by lifting others." -- Robert G. Ingersoll

[@olgakim4848]

No, it’s, “We rise by lifting others.” I think I finally got the quote right. Lol. Apologies to

[@olgakim4848]

Pastor Ingersoll, RIP.

[@andelalexander5305]

Golden!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾