8 Things That Commonly Happen (When The Narcissist Hears You’ve Moved on)

[@NarcCon]

Book Link Below: Weaponised Love -a.co/d/g4bB4MI

[@mgu1N1n1]

Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!

[@bonitajolie9341]

Amen!!!!

[@shawnpullen9517]

There now has to go through the court system very much true protect yourself always

[@Lena-so2lq]

Absolutely. Women can be just as violent and dangerous. Don't underestimate them. My mother is one. Dangerous!

[@valerieriggins3184]

EXACTLY 💯 A NARC Is EVIL PERSON Sooooo Of Course A NARC Is A NARC! Point Blank PERIOD!!!!!

[@amushyforyou6083]

Problem with that is society nowadays don't believe men.

[@angelitepriestess1562]

Their ego is so huge they cannot believe u moved on 👐

[@milliesecond102]

WOW!!!! I've had my tires punctured, my taxes messed with, my email and cell phone number spammed, and he stole my social security card and passport before I left. After the divorce 3 months ago, I continue to have problems. My friends think I'm paranoid. This is so validating for me personally. THANK YOU, PAULA!❤

[@mrs8792]

That sounds just like my ex. He slashed my tires and my parents tires. He also broke into both homes too.

[@Lena-so2lq]

The last one got really into that. Identity theft and bills in his name i couldn't get off my home. Put me in jail. Total nightmare.

[@anne-vl7qf]

You are NOT paranoid. ❤

[@lauriblackmon9297]

This is happening to me! I need to start speaking out about this, because my life was threatened 2 days ago!

[@shirlspark_stardust]

Wow

[@debbierockz1]

I blocked the narc on everything I could think of ..all is quiet as he is with a new supply and chasing others ..

[@banderson6470]

That’s why we must block them.

[@Ptowngirl]

I just watched an old video of Paula from three years ago about Hoovers. Paula, I want to comment that I don’t think I will see the Narcissist of 10 years because of a physical altercation/legal issue concerning my daughter. The Narcissist playing the “victim “ put on an Order of Protection. I will say however the last few months I have seen an SUV parked on my street in the early morning hours. The same SUV came yesterday. My dog barked and as I looked out the window it sped down my street. The Narcissist may have a different car now. I do stay aware, but I am so much better now. I am completely blocked. I did this very early on. All the flying monkeys are blocked. I went full radical block. I have healed faster from doing that step. Not easy but necessary for me. I tossed out all things left by him. Even cookware that he touched. I am convinced he knows I know who he is. I have the knowledge to shut him down. He will never hear my voice again.

[@harmonywhite9320]

Amazing job! 🎉I wish you continued success with your safety and total no contact.

[@JenniferHolladay-b9q]

❤@jennifer Holladay 😮😂😅😊😊🎉

[@thebigh9635]

Truth is you were NEVER MEANT to move on , especially to flourish without them ! HOW VERY DARE YOU ! 😆💪❤

[@flowerchild89]

My ex narcissist used to keep his exes as friends. Now I know why. I thought it bizarre at the time because there were a few of them.

[@darcybarwick6404]

Same . It’s so they go and sleep with them whilst they are with you

[@davidsisson2026]

One of my ex's is still a friend. However it's not a close friendship. Occasional contact. Once or twice a year. We never discuss our single life. As mine is devoid of a partner. It's been 18 years. I've had other relationships but I think it now harder to meet someone I could bond with. Because I'm aware of the complications maybe

[@James-bc2oh]

When I 1st met Marie one of her ways of worming her way in was always leaving clothes at my place,it got to the stage were my wardrobe was filling up with her clothes,I will never forget the day I got all her clothes together and said to her you keep leaving clothes here,she was stunned I never heard from her for 7 week's after that,then just out the blue she phoned,7 week's not hearing from her and she was talking to me Asif nothing was ever wrong, the sad thing was I let her back into my life and 15yrs later she stole everything house, savings even my dogs,just shows how long covert narcissists plan on destroying your life, disgusting vile people

[@NarcCon]

🌹🌹

[@anne-vl7qf]

My son was married to one and took his life 😢😢😢

[@jeannieotb8491]

Wow, i had a hoover after 1 year of absolute silence no contact, then they came back after a 4 year separation l Unfortunately, didn't know about narcissism then and went back. 23 years later worked it all out at last and leaving when house sells. will make sure he has nothing at my new abode! Thank you 😊 🙏

[@carolinekamya2339]

my narc mum killed my dad, took 50 years, drip drip drip till he died

[@beyondandback]

He did it last March and God brought me out of the spiral /pit in November and completely healed me if his tactics🙂 hallelujah 🙌

[@milliesecond102]

Congratulations! God has helped me to escape also, and I left him very decisevely, taking the high road at his every twist, turn, and attack was probably better revenge. I thank God daily!❤

[@billybobwombat2231]

Have a look how god needs you to worship him , notice how he says how he will punish you when you stop worshipping him, now compare that behaviour to your ex's, notice any similarities in behaviour, he's one of them.

[@lucindawhite7255]

God is good!

[@INHOUSEMUSICGROUP-PROMOS-vz7lm]

@billybobwombat2231 Get your Satan worshipping demonic narcissistic ARSE out of our conversation and healing… You don’t belong here… you are a spy and intruder… This comment section is for God’s children and chosen… Good Bye ✌️

[@shirlspark_stardust]

Gm Narc Con I am moving on I am in the process of divorcing the malignant narcissist there is no way ,I am ever going back he continues to send mail to my address expecting me to reach out no way will that ever happen .I move in silence after I am done with school obtaining my BA degree I plan on moving away that will be a surprise for the devils advocate I want no parts of evil in my life God gave me strength to discard that malignant narc 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@Weeflowerofscotland]

My ex narc messaged me randomly one day ,a year and a half after we broke up , raging that he heard I was in a relationship and I was having a baby with someone!! I was utterly thrown ! I was called all sorts of names , told I hope he breaks up with you etc etc! This is the first time I have had that experience validated by yourself and it makes so much sense. Thank God for you and others that give narc survivors the knowledge to be stronger. Bless your heart ❤

[@RetroRob]

She discarded me. After pushing me to divorce, my ex-wife got a baby out of me, created a fight to use my reaction to move on. It's been 6 months now. She's been withholding information about the baby, playing all types of mind games,isolating me from her family, smearing my name to pushing me. It is very difficult to move on from a narc but it is necessary to your maintain your sanity.

[@NarcCon]

🙏🌹

[@Jcolorado555]

Love the Xmas decorations and the dog sleeping on the couch❤☃️🎄

[@NarcCon]

Happy holidays!

[@shirlspark_stardust]

I recently got phone calls no answer and a text message no reply from me I don’t want anything to do with that demonic miserable creature now that I know what I know from Paula and a few others videos I’m grateful I’m learning how to stay away and avoid at all cost.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Hello Paula, my dear! I have survived a nearly fatal ailment, thanks to the narcissist. I recovered physically, then emotionally, and it took me years. After nearly 12.9 years, I would definitely IGNORE him. He has not been around in any way since 2011. I don't even know if he's still on this earth! We never lived together, we were never married, and I have NOTHING left of him. I planned (over 10 yrs ago) if I ever ran into him, IGNORE, KEEP WALKING..IF HE TRIES TO TOUCH ME, I WILL CALL THE POLICE...I mean business! It's a sickening feeling just thinking of him, but I do not feel hate. To me, that makes sense bcse something sickening, you run from....THANK YOU PAULA..❤❤

[@gdwlaw5549]

Divorced and single for 2 years and finally met someone very kind. After 4 years her relationship ended with her lover. She left him after violent episodes at home. Fortunately my children had already moved out. We’re now 12 years into the divorce and Last year our car was vandalized. A brick was thrown through the rear window and every body panel was scratched. My ex was caught on camera in the garden! We decided not to press charges. I was ejected from my home, I have never received any possessions and paid her 75.000 euros and pay for children . I have never missed a payment. All my savings have gone. We’re happy . We enjoy the simple things in life.

[@NarcCon]

🌹🌹

[@makelifematter1896]

Just starting to listen OMG so true strangly the other day I got a texted from 3 past friends..."how are you", " hi hope your doing good" and then from his best friends wife ..."whats going on I saw something at your house"...funny the house sold in Oct...blocked all their phones then a phone csll from him I ignored..yet he still dragging on the divorce to be in control while hes playing the cheat field!! I would never ever ever take him back ever!! Oh dear yes he and his girlfriend saud I was "batsh.. crazy" umm they are the cheaters and tried hiding until caught literally...and they are un their 60s how sad..and he left all all our livestock his dig yes turned my step son who I raised since 1 1/2 years old against me and his dogs and cats we had together and horses in my care which Im thankful fir as he wouldn't of taken care if them..but all Paula states is TRUE I just keep asking who was I married to who was this person WHO...

[@pattiellen5339]

These narcissists seem to all be cut from the same cloth! They have no idea how predictable this makes them. My narcissist has tried six ways to Sunday to try to hoover me back in since I went full-on no contact six months ago, and some of those ways were exactly what you have described. It helps to be able to warn the victims what they should be on the lookout for. Some of the ones you mentioned were things I hadn’t even considered. He probably hasn’t tried them yet only because he hasn’t thought of them!

[@wendynash2587]

Mine did all the things - called the city to report me cutting down drees, left things behind to pick up later, stole my bike out of the shed, called my boss to report me harassing fellow workers, messed with my parenting schedule,, left garbage on my porch, stalked me, wrote anonymous letters to my friends. I packed up his stuff and gave, sold the house, moved out and 500km away from him. I'm waiting for him to report me to Revenue Canada - but he might not since we have the same accountant. Expect your narcissist to do all these things and be ready. I told my employer to expect a call or visit, I put security cameras on the house, I gave him all his stuff and more, I filed a police report. 5 years later, he got my son to call me and ask for his gold chain back. lol. he is so textbook. I never had his chain. I made sure of that. No response from me - that's what he's getting.

[@mimaid837]

Yeah it's like insulting you with a smile on their face 😢

[@dclarke1896]

Thank you, Paula! This video is extremely validating! The narc kept leaving random things at my house. Now I know it was no accident. When I went no contact due to severe emotional and psychological abuse I mailed him everything he left at my house. He didn’t confirm that he received it until over a year later when our paths were unavoidably crossed. I attempted to date someone new and things were going very well. Then the new guy started acting strange towards me ghosting me, standing me up on dates, accusing me of lying and being crazy. He later confessed that the narc approached him several times and threatened him, the narc also showed him pictures and text messages of when I was dealing with the narc to make it appear like I was dealing with both of them at the same time which I never did. To date I am alone while the narc is still dating multiple people but I am finally content being alone and focusing on myself! Thanks again for all that you do! 🙏

[@NarcCon]

🙏🌹

[@ArchAngel435]

While we were together, albeit relationship in ruins, he was in touch ( grooming ) with his former divorce client but verbally accosting my male friend that I was texting ( I've never cheated on him ). He finally created a fracas, threatened to leave, triggered my abandonment wounds and left with the woman calling her his soulmate. It's about time now that the devaluation will start and I can expect the hoovering to begin

[@dclarke1896]

@@ArchAngel435 The vile behavior of a narcissist is predictable. Stay away! Deny the hoover and enjoy your peace!

[@annette2153]

So, this is not narcissist related commentary, but I could not take my focus off Remy throughout the entire video. This little dude is so peaceful snoozing on the couch. The only way this could have been better would have been if he had taken his nap under the Xmas tree, Paula. Much love to you both

[@NarcCon]

Aw thank you Remy would say woof 🐶

[@danielkaiser8971]

My kitty-cat thinks Remy deserves a special treat. 🐕🍖🥰

[@darrellbutler884]

Thanks Paula, I've witnessed these interactions happening to others. 🙏 The grace of God to recognize what's happening and to escape. ❤ My experience with a sociopath was vicious and for demonic pleasure, of short duration, and positioned her without much option to return. I'm grateful. They can be clever with a back attack. Keep your head up.

[@hhsg11]

I know for a fact he will never want to set eyes on me ever again. He was raging that I had organised somewhere else to live, a removal company and still working prior to moving out. Although only a few miles apart, he didn’t know where I was, none of the neighbours that I had made friends with knew and he had no idea who I worked for as I was self employed with no local office that he could go to. He didn’t have phone numbers of my friends and we had no mutual friends as all of his were exes or other women in his harem which I didn’t bother with. I also installed a camera in my bedroom which meant him barging in 8 times a day / night to mouth off was stopped in it’s tracks, he was running around like a headless chicken because then he couldn’t take his temper out on me as he normally would. I made a statement to the police with 135 recordings of his rants, rages and threats and he was called into the station and told to stay away from me. they told me if he came near me I had to phone them and he would be arrested. He’s now sold the house and moved 2 hours or so away…..to start all over again with his nonsense. At least he’s out of my hair. He’s 66 with his looks long faded and as he once admitted to me, he will end up alone. He will be kept company 24/7 by all the demons trapped inside him. GOOD.

[@btlfilmmedia9514]

Parental alienation is on the cards if you have children ....Evil never stops

[@stupensardi2783]

Very true. My narcissistic mother in law alienated my own daughter from me.

[@jdubbya348]

Had a baby almost a year ago with her.....never met that kid

[@Mary-gl1sv]

So true.

[@thomaskosmicki]

My ex removed my son from my life when he was 22 months old. Moved to Germany from US even though I had a court orter to keep him in the continental US. I reconnected 12 years later when he was 14. He was just like his moother. She destroyed him or cloned herself. Pure evil.

[@lc4972]

And grandparent alienation.

[@tmyoshimura621]

Yes. The narcissist will call you a narcissist. They will project all the toxic things they do to get ahead, exactly. "You are me. You're the narcissist."

[@Lisa-t1n7l]

Yes, I agree that they may not want to risk coming back, but will do something to remind their victim that they're still around. For me , it was driving by. It may have been accidental or not, but I'm sure it served his needs. Narcissists are absolutely phobic about being forgotten. They hate it like poison.

[@blaquecinderella3560]

Oh my goodness my ex narc is constantly driving by. Anytime I'm peaceful, glowing & minding my business, I always bump into him😳

[@Lisa-t1n7l]

@@blaquecinderella3560 Eventually, it should stop. But narcissists have a way of lurking, spying and keeping tabs on exes. I don't think it's permanent, but it can last for a long time. It's like getting rid of head lice ---it takes a while.

[@raewyn1111]

Yes it does really hurt when you discover you've been dealing with a narcissist and this includes family as well who are narcissistic, but you do eventually get over the pain and start to move on with your life. Just be very aware of future narcissist, as I have just distant myself from a neighbour who I discovered couldn't remember what she had previously told me and when I saw her story change somewhat 2 to 3 times! I quickly removed myself as this is a red flag.

[@AdamJamesEarlyChasebliss-ru8tq]

Hiya Paula. Massive breakthrough. "I'm enjoying being me!:)" ....and I've realised that I don't need him, and that misery of him being in my head all the time, can end now. Now that I don't want him back, I sense it that the covenant is obliterated and he won't be In my head all the time at all anymore. Brilliant!:)

[@cherylgregory6027]

As always, another informative and helpful video. The time it takes regarding the healing journey is different for each of us. Most of us do go on to heal and realise we were the real person of value in these 'relationships'. The Narcissists knew this too and have to devalue you to feel better about themselves. We have lost nothing of value. They hoover because they have lost someone who brought goodness and value to their lives. They miss how we made them feel. They haven't a life, just a miserable existence. Thanks Paula, best wishes to you and Remy. x

[@gtaylor6937]

Very well said. Often they seek to "still be friends." I hope no one falls for that con because it's intended to redeem their reputation, only. It will make them look better. Don't do it.

[@IsabellaPiesch]

@@gtaylor6937 The still be friends thing is only that they can use you further. If you see clearly what character they have simple say NO thank you. I did. I don´t want to be friends with such a disgusting human-being.

[@NarcCon]

🙏🌹🐕

[@lisasmith814]

PS...Love your tree 🌳 ❤

[@karenclinker3279]

All of your comments Paula are spot on in describing narcissistic behaviour.

[@pinkposey8134]

This explains the reason my ex took known sentimental family items. It became a lesson that material things are just things. If any of it was offered up today, I would pass on the items.

[@M.D-t6r]

People,please,listen to this woman❤

[@NikuejoonTehrani]

If you hang in there and keep going, you will get to the other side and it will be worth it!! You CAN get out and Heal. Don't give up!

[@KarenFlynn-k4p]

When my Narc left the home for his new supply, he canceled the free dental benefits for my daughter and son that he received from his employer. He also refused to pay child support for them for months. This behavior cost me alot of money because I had to get my lawyer and go to court!!! He was so mean and spiteful. I am so happy that he is gone with his Mistress, life is so peaceful now. I just wish I had learned it sooner.😊

[@joanneryan7735]

A friend narcissist did that ,told others I was the narcissist!

[@stupensardi2783]

What a beautifully decorated room ❤ And of course well said. You have explained my narc m.i.l. to a T. Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement . God bless you too and thank you for everything you do. May you forever sparkle in your soul and be happy.

[@NarcCon]

You are so welcome and thank you too 🌹🤶

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Thank you 🙏 Pola. Many of the things you have mentioned have happened to me. Narcisists are insane people. Thank you for brilliant advice. God bless you❤

[@malibu90265]

Heed Paula's words... My ex-narcissist showed no signs of personal physical violence against me during the marriage, but once I discarded him my life was in real danger.

[@Xenophanes198]

Yup, I accidently left my jacket behind at her place. I told her to leave it outside when she left for work and had a trusted family member pick it up. Turns out, she put lipstick and perfume in the pockets. Those went straight into the trash.

[@lucindawhite7255]

This is why I told my divorce lawyer I didn't want alimony. I knew if he thought I was getting "his" money, he'd never leave me alone. Never regretted it.

[@annbow4064]

I was the same i got told by my divorce lawyer that i could claim half his pension which was a lot, i said no clean break dont want any money that will cause me further problems he can keep it.

[@sharonphillips3656]

Already received the Christmas hoover from someone who told me all my life that I would end up in the gutter, my face was a mess, and no one would ever want me repeatedly . Radio silence and no contact maintained. Clearly narcissists have no understanding of or ability to take account of their actions! 😊

[@davidsmith7587]

they are out of control. she always left stuff behind

[@HonestyIsAVirtue7]

Yes... I kept getting flat tires from metal roofing screws in my tires. He has His own construction business. And, a major part of his work is metal roofs (using metal screws).

[@PatriciaConnor-m5e]

The narc who recently discarded me is very wealthy. That's what he used to try and get me dependent on him. I really had nothing to give him except myself. And I did. 😢 And he took it!

[@PatriciaThorns]

Yes. It ruined my daughter's wedding today by getting her to invite him. I saw him at rehearsal yesterday and hours later while decorations after he left an gave her $300. I broke down crying. I was then told it's OK mom a lot of ppl have mental illness...😢 I won't be going to the wedding I spent thousands of dollars and 3 months work making it her dream wedding. Not only has he been invited after disappearing for last 5 weeks he's turned my daughter against me thinking something is wrong with me after HE destroyed me.... my kids know exactly what he did to me. I almost took my own life. And I was told I should put my feelings aside for her. Not caring about me. 😢

[@leonasweny1525]

Hugs for you ❤❤❤❤

[@johnmorganjr769]

Girl !! You are nailing that one. In spades ! 🎯 Merry Christmas from n.w. N.C. 🌲 🙏 👍

[@thandamjadu87]

I was told that i had used him as a step ladder! Partially aggree because his behaviour pushed me to find point of focus and developed my career.

[@retabety6282]

Thank you, Paula. I, sadly relate. Thank you for your commitment to this topic for us all. Your place looks cozy and warm with the added decorations. Merry Christmas.

[@NarcCon]

You too Merry Christmas 🤶

[@ericnorthman9410]

My own mother was that way - seeming to be unhappy when I talked about making headway forward out of my bad situation. Terrible people...

[@LW-mq1zl]

My ex narc abusive bf started calling and emailing me again recently which let me know that the woman he moved on with and married finally came to her senses. I left him 12 years ago and never looked back! 12 years and here he is trying to hoover me back in. Big NOPE, not today, not ever. Stay strong everyone!

[@sannasunshine4161]

The worst abusive relationship (5 years long) I've had ended 12 years ago. I've been in and out of the narc-recovery community since then. And now I'm really updating myself again. The (hopefully) last narc was sooo sneaky in his ways. I should've just gone with my gut, but I don't know if it would've played out differently. I spent 10 months with him in my mind and it did some damage. We haven't been in a committed relationship, just casual. But it gave me the opportunity to learn more about the narcs, and how difficult it can be to spot them. Even if they have a script they all follow to some degree, they are still different. This last one could apologize, he could actually improve/change things, he would act instead of talking about it. However I've disconnected and don't want him around anymore, because I saw how much he lies. He said he was moving to Spain. And when I asked him 2 weeks later if he was buying an apartment there, he said "I hope to do so in the future". Meaning, no plans to do so in the near future, no funds to do so, just provoking a reaction out of me, which he didn't get, only encouraging comments. The other lie was he posted a photo on FB, saying he found a dog loose in the streets. And 3 weeks later I saw that it wasn't his post, he had stolen it from the original poster. And I really knew, if he lies about these little things, just imagine...

[@ianarn]

They really can’t see in the long term! Because if they’d shown some stability towards you it’s possible that you could have given them what they want! Because they cannot empathise with your boundaries despite you helping them in everything they did their mistrustfulness of you hamstrings what they actually claim to need.

[@IsabellaPiesch]

They can´t trust because they are not trustworthy. They simple think everybody is like them.

[@danielkaiser8971]

I don't disagree with the healthy-minded basis of what I think you're saying, but I disagree that it is possible to give a narcissist what they want or to "help" a narcissist, at least not without ultimately and completely disregarding your own physical, psychological and spiritual needs. What I think you're describing works well in healthy, mutual relationships where people support each other and build each other up. Narcissists do not think in those terms. They have an alternate reality in their imagination in which they assign you a subordinate servile and codependent part to play. They become confused and annoyed with you as they would with a public restroom toilet that is sincerely trying to set healthy boundaries. From a narcissist's perspective, they are insulted that such a thing would think they need help or would want anything in return like love or acts of kindness or understanding or compassion. But narcissists do often choose the ones who have a deep capacity for caring. As you continue through life learning and healing, not only will you find your friendships and relationship quality improving, but also you really get to know and like and love yourself for all the real and genuine reasons every other good person in your life does. And the more you know yourself, the more impossible it becomes for a narcissist to manipulate you ever again. I hope my reply finds you well.

[@ianarn]

I also agree wholeheartedly with what you’re saying! Healing someone whose demonstrated these traits over and over again means that you just have to avoid them! Factor in the cowardly physical abuse I took while I was asleep and it’s hard to trust the mind of a person who thinks it’s ok to kick you awake because they don’t like a joke you said!

[@ArchAngel435]

​@@ianarnOr think it's ok to routinely climb on you while you're asleep, like you are an object for their sexual pleasure

[@janetgd]

I left him. So instead he kept my stuff. He tried to use that to get me back. He refused to send my stuff to me. And i refused to see him. I just walked away. He can keep my stuff.

[@sublimeguy]

Mine ex projected horribly when she would get angry, thats what clued me into what i was dealing with. Never had even heard the term gas lighting till i was acused of it.i was called things i have never been called before like selfish, narccist, etc.... After we split i was talking to an old female friend that probably knows me better then she did and i told her she called me a narc, and selfish and she laughed uncontrollably. My ex narc fiancee said in the beginning your the sweetest, kindest, most giving person i have ever met and i love that, only to call me self centered and selfish just a few months later when i wouldnt continue to pretend to be stupid and not point out the obvious cheating behaviour

[@danielkaiser8971]

Yes, that is sad how you were treated. Narcissists often choose the best ones to be with, the ones with love and forgiveness to give. In a backwards way, I think narcissists choose people who have the qualities the narcissist is envious of. Narcissists choose good people because they want everyone to think they are good. They project/externalize all of their own bad qualities onto the good people. But in the end, all it does is hurt the good people, even though most people figure out the truth in the end, the narcissist is the one who is behind the trouble. I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you continue healing and find good people in your life who care about you and want the best for you.

[@sublimeguy]

@@danielkaiser8971 thanks you my friend and likewise

[@sublimeguy]

@@danielkaiser8971 it's always nice to get encouraging words from people I dont have any social media accounts but this one and really not many people to talk to about this so it's nice when people reach out

[@sylviaking8866]

I love the image of you sweet dog on the couch by your Christmas tree. Lovely.

[@NarcCon]

Thank you! 😊

[@sylviebigger4939]

Thankyou so much for this channel. Your light and love shines so bright! Peace be with you. I'm here

[@NarcCon]

🙋‍♀️🙏

[@paucher]

I have blocked the narcissist from my phone from my email and from texting. I pretty much have no contact. And I’ve explained to my children not to tell their dad what I am up to.

[@phoenixrising4768]

Thank you for sharing this. everything you said from 16.00. he has already said this and much more nasty things, and it broke me in ways that you'' never know. i have been messed up last 3 years. and i know tomorrow he will say more. and i have to be strong and prepared.

[@womanclothedinthesunq7574]

Merry Christmas 🎄 Paula and Remy 🎉🎉🎉 . Love from Socorro NM 🙏.

[@NarcCon]

Merry Christmas to you from us 🐕🤶

[@beyondandback]

Thank You…. He is psychopath anti social type. He tried to kill me more than once, BUT GOD🙌

[@NarcCon]

🌹🌹

[@danielkaiser8971]

Narcissists with other issues like psychopathy and antisocial traits are very dangerous. I believe my mother had similar issues. I don't want to go into detail here, but they involve injury and death to animals and in one particularly disturbing case, stories of strong suspicion of such with her third child in the mid-1950s many years before I was born. He did not make it to his first birthday. I would not believe it if it weren't for a handful of horrific experiences she directly involved me in when I was a child in the 1970s, all in an attempt to force my dad to comply with her demands.

[@SaquuCherokeeSolitaire]

I can't thank you enough for your channel!!!

[@NarcCon]

You are so welcome!

[@dianahogg6164]

It is true they tell on themselves eventually.

[@clintonnagy1662]

Absolutely!! If you wait around long enough they will add to the story they lied about in earlier months. When you tell them the story changed they deflect and call you forgetful, paranoid or controlling. I would see this pattern constantly in her game. Lies by omission.

[@SpiritDestiny]

After having to get a restraining order late 2022 i didn't move on but focused on my healing & my children. He contacted me out of the blue last weekend asking to see our son. I told him he needs to go through the proper channels & was then sent a photo of him kissing his new gf!!! It has broken me this last week. I was reluctant to change my number because of him but remained no contact... However from this last week I've decided to change it. There's more to going no contact then them not being able to get back through the door.. I've learnt this week that it's also necessary for my health. Thank you ❤

[@ADP-Hypnotherapy]

Laughed out loud when you said leaving something at your house is a diagnostic situation! It’s absolutely true! I’ve seen it with the ex and with myself. That made me laugh so hard

[@Missybella92227]

When she said that it made sense as to why covert ex fiancé didn’t ask for the ring back after he brutally discarded me. I mailed it back two weeks after the discard with no note… Nada!

[@michelledonoghue1702]

Still following and listening to your videos Paula. Can relate to these so much. I’m doing well and he is still watching and has given a heat check, nearly two years on! ❤️ thanks again Michelle Donoghue xx

[@NarcCon]

🙋‍♀️🌹😊

[@raskolnikov1461]

Beautiful woman. Love how you sharing your thoughts 💭 ❤

[@ClarissaG222]

totally unrelated but I love that your dog is snoozing peacefully in the background, so cute :)

[@garycordle5295]

Thanks for the video Paula this is so true, they always will hoover you around the holidays and etc, I had my hoover a few months ago and still haven't answered it on messenger.

[@bklynqueen5928]

I AGREE WITH NUM 7 & 8. I never forget it was MY UNCLE 80th Bday. I asked the Narc to keep his daughter while I go. He argued so I can go with my little boyfriend. He comes to get her and about 2 hours later he aaa bringing her back saying she was crying for her mommy. He also gets so angry if he thinks in his mind I’m seeing anyone else. Then he starts slapping me around n being really scary. He told he if I leave he will stab me up. I feel he just says that so he can go cheat with how ever he wants too. He can careless about me. 🤷

[@laurajane4806]

Thank you for the hours spent obtaining your extensive knowledge and for sharing it on behalf of ALL. You are appreciated!! Namaste 💜

[@NarcCon]

Wow, thank you!

[@laurajane4806]

@@NarcCon 💜

[@STEPHANIEENAJE]

Yep I’ve nearly experienced them all and am afraid to know what his full potential to disturb me might be - despite moving several states away. But I have faith and I will be fine. However, these are gems! It helps to see straight with these talks. I’m starting week 8 of no contact. Week 6-7 the hoovering began and it’s been difficult not to think about him - which she mentioned! But I’m keeping on!! Freedom is what I want!

[@Me-nobodyspecial]

Yeah spot on! , the narc called me on the Eve of my birthday telling me he has a new phone number.. My retort? " Sorry, wrong you've called the number mate! Blocked again ! 😂

[@LegalServices-v6j]

I am so scared. Thank you for the encouraging connents at the end. I will keep putting the work in and try to stay safe.😢

[@ericnorthman9410]

Oh LOVE your tree and your sleepy little pooch.

[@415Mulatica]

Thanks for being here! I truly value your content it's helped me soo much.

[@NarcCon]

I'm so glad!

[@dianahogg6164]

That's the most horrible word I had ever heard, never heard before used by my Narc. User . Used against my male child at 11 years old. My son was victim of Fathers Narcissist rage. He used phycological games with his four daughters, he always smiled in their company. It must have been hard to keep two faces. I'm proud of my son now 41 years old he's successful and a loving family man to his wife and two little girls. My son and the rest of the family have survived. Despite growing up with a narcissistic father.

[@ArchAngel435]

That is so encouraging to hear. I have 2 daughters and I so wish the same for them, that they survive and thrive despite their estranged father's narcissism and the trauma of their childhood.

[@AnOpdam]

Many thanks Paula for your uplifting words! ❤

[@Inga377]

This is certainly accurate and the last 15 minutes of this left me speechless. So much so, I had to play it twice. God bless, blessings to you.❤️🙏🏽

[@NarcCon]

🙏🌹

[@mvbigmagic4048]

Oh my gosh.... that's what my mother just did.... a "heat check hoover." I blocked ALL her evil relatives.... and so she used my dad's college classmate. Incredible. I received an email saying he wishes my relationship with my abusive mother "would go back to the way it was before." Gave a story about a movie in which a son realizes he is wrong. LOL! It's incredible that NO ONE asks MY SIDE OF THE STORY. They just assume I am being a "bad child." I'm 51 years old with two professional degrees. I'm not stupid. I know when I'm being gaslit. I blocked my father's classmate. Thank goodness, NONE of my REAL friends believe my mother. She's insane. No contact is survival.

[@AllisonWilkins-m9x]

This is bang on. I love your videos, and your lovely dog who looks so cosy on that sofa ❤. My ex discarded nearly 6 years ago. He left our sons saying they were boring aged 4 and 8. We were glad he left. He was abusive. I have a lovely, normal partner now who is so calm and, well, just normal. He’s so kind and gentle with my sons. But 6 years on my ex sabotages holidays by telling me last minute he isn’t having the boys (I’ll add he only wants them 26 days a year), he refuses to confirm arrangements despite the court order being clear. He messes around with maintenance every so often etc. Yes he left property here when it was all left out for him to collect 6 years ago. After 5 years I dumped the rest at the tip. He still asks my son for that property despite not having taken it when able. For someone who claims to have a great life and having moved on, he spends a lot of energy trying to get a me, when all I want is nothing to do with him. I’ve always found this so so odd. He pesters the children for information on my partner and asked for a photo of him on one occasion. My sons have developed methods to deflect his questioning, but shouldn’t have to. My social media is locked right down and very little on it. He and all his flying monkeys were blocked the day he left. It’s the only way, but still he attempts to cause friction

[@Jetmab04]

Thanks a lot Paula!! And yes...number 7 on your list - definitely!! Not afraid here but, very aware (confirmation in place) of the murder ordered (and probably paid for with money, stolen from my Danish identity)...aware of the sad fact, that should I ever take the liberty of coming back there, I will be dead... My ex, his wife whom I've met once in my life and my biological family all seem to be in a competition on, who can kill me first... Reason: I moved out if the place 24 years ago, I have a good life!! "We" can't have that. I almost feel sorry for these subjects once in a while...almost!! To feel such rage and hate, against someone you never knew, must be a hotrible way of living..and not least, their way if bringing even more sad, religious groups into their hate-campaign....only raises contempt in my life... How can anyone, willingly agree to murder another human - based on hate, envy and something else I cannot find any words for!? It's completely beyond anything I've ever experienced anywhere but clearly, when it comes to these subjects anything goes ...hence, I did the best thing in my life, when I left all those years ago!!! For years I asked "why"? But by now I know, this is no longer about or against me but about some people who can no longer be classified as "just" mentally ill. Psychopathy is not an illness - it's a state and, I have learned some of these people can never be helped..😰

[@terrancekilson829]

Wow, this was another home run I’m going through this right now. Amazing video this is what I needed to hear.

[@NarcCon]

Glad it was helpful!

[@cindybates6633]

Holidays are especially difficult for sure. No contact is the only way to avoid the traps being set. No more ugly emails, one line texts, crying on the phone when he found out I was moving out of town, name calling, silent treatment, gas lit life of hell.

[@hanichay1163]

My daughter said what kind of mother doesn’t follow her child on social media and demanded I read all her instagram posts even tho she never comes to family things or contacts me or answers calls or texts or thanks us for gifts. I don’t do instagram and I know what she writes on there. Besides, why would I want to find out about my own family from a curated public forum? She used to make me a big part of her life and her kids’ lives until she flipped her worldview/politics a few years ago. She is now a different person, very cruel and self-absorbed.

[@Thatsbannanas-d8c]

I have been no contact for 6 yrs. My two sisters have died. My mom, I just don’t want to show her my bleeding heart. I don’t ever want to see her again. I hope I never return to earth. I hate life, because I didn’t have any one to love me. Mother wounds never heal.

[@LestoFremo]

God loves u

[@LestoFremo]

❤

[@mariannekoroleva6495]

My covert narc "father" was always saying everything at me were "not the right thing no matter what". I don't think he has asked about me after the break up. Thank You!!:))!!

[@danielchavez1329]

Thank you Paula! Very educational.

[@kirkhogan2688]

Another great video, Paula! She will never nw if I'm moving on or not, As I am on little social media, and mutual friends haven't spoke to me in over a year, I listen to these things that others have to endure and thank god,I'm not going through any of it, That's not to say it won't happen in the future But I watch all your videos and educate myself , just incase,! Thank you for all your videos, It has helped me heal👍

[@ShirleyMcDonald-j4f]

Another great video. Thank you, Paula! Your info confirmed my family’s attempt to get in touch w/me by using my niece to contact me-after a ew years of no contact. They isolated me to the extent that there is no one left to serve as another flying monkey. (We live 1400 miles away.) Perhaps karma is catching up w/them. I agree w/your comment about so many of us enduring this deep pain. It is real but we can heal eventually if we continue to work on ourselves and stay informed!

[@chriselliott368]

My narc neighbour just set me up to get supply and I fell for it, i.e., I confronted him. I just want to encourage all good people out there that when the narc is doing their best to scramble your mind to just calm down and observe quietly. Take your judgements off and just see what's there in front of you with calm detachment ...... and you'll see it all. I've done a lot of work on myself and know myself pretty thoroughly, so his observations of me - "I'm worried about your sanity, brother" - actually made me chuckle. And being calm, I could just name the stuff as it came up. But, yea, he well and truly set me up. I was remembering all the things I've learned from you, Paula, which was how I was able to name those things. He absolutely denied what he'd done (and this was one of a string of things he's done) but I stayed myself. At the end, I said, "Well, I'll leave it here and see what comes back". He asked what I meant and I told him I was just going to keep mindful of how things play out from here. I've been supporting his ex who recently broke it off with him; when you described all the property damage etc, I thought of her (and sent her the link to this talk, and others) as he damaged a lot of her property and, of course, denied it. He's tricksy and that's for sure. I told him I was writing all my observations of him down "to get it square in my mind". We'll see what he does next. I've no doubt that he will do something .....

[@marymotherofgod4861]

Omg ur tree is beautiful Merry Christmas and Thk u always 🧑🏼‍🎄🧑🏼‍🎄🧑🏼‍🎄🙏💜

[@NarcCon]

Thank you! You too!

[@dianahogg6164]

I knew all along there was something not right, his persona was bashful. I didn't listen to my my father and mother. They weren't people to force their opinion two older sisters tried to warn me. I didn't listen at 14 years old. 53 years later I have learned my lesson big time. I loved and there was nothing back.

[@fluttergirl75]

He had child protective services come to my home twice right before I had 8 hour shifts. He also phoned me and said he was putting my cat to sleep. I begged him to let me take her. I had permission from the landlord to have her. He put her down and phoned me at my work to tell me she was gone.

[@madness6436]

My narcissistic parent used my brother to find out what is my new salary and how much I paid for my flat. When my brother came over he brought a gift from her, a beautiful gold necklace for me. But unfortunately I learnt at my experience that all that glitters isn't gold. In fact, behind that expensive gift there was just arrogance, contempt and a sense of superiority. That necklace can sit in the wardrobe.

[@gwentwining4287]

My Nister just reported to the police that she had her house broken into and suspected it was my partner . If she can't get a rise out of me, she's going to hurt me through him😢 We share care of my Mom so I can't go no contact, but I do grey rock.

[@larryodoherty5424]

Thanks Paula, fantastic work you and Remi do. The more I listen to your videos the more a lot of my past makes sense. It's like they all have a handbook to work from. It's madness personified. I'm available to be a BUDDY. From Dublin Ireland.😊

[@NarcCon]

🙏🙋‍♀️🐕

[@marirosario687]

My ex uses our 16 year old son to continue to manipulate me and get a rise out of me. Most times I do fall for it, but I’m working on ignoring him completely.