9 TURN OFFS on a First Date | For the GUYS!

9 turn-offs but for the guys, today. These are things men do that women find unappealing, on a first date or early dating situations. What’s fair is fair since earlier this week we talked about what women do that men are not appreciating. Their turn-offs! This is not a comprehensive list, so surely you will think of other things that should be avoided on a first or second date. If you want to share or mention them, I have a comment section. ;-)
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Here is an EPISODE you may have MISSED:
Stop Doing This | 8 Turn Offs for The Gals!
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[@barbc7698]

Agreed with all of these, Carey. I was on crutches once during a first date. The guy didn’t ask to walk me to my car. It was the one time I truly would have appreciated the support.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

😡

[@roxannecowlesrosado3449]

I just discovered your channel and I have been binge watching your videos-the advice is extremely helpful. Regarding men monopolizing the conversation, I understand he may be nervous, so it doesn't bother me too much when he does this; however, the problem that arises is the topics he chooses to talk about that have caused me not to consider a second date, such as how gorgeous or young his ex-girlfriend was and how she broke his heart, how crazy/mean/conceited, etc. his ex-wife is, and so on. When a man begins to not only mention, but goes into a long monologue, about another woman, I begin to feel like I'm his pal, or worse, one of his guy friends. So, I think is is bad taste when men discuss women from their past with a potential partner. He should be focused on talking about things that can help him get to know the woman he is with at that moment, and not using the date as a forum to discuss the women who he is not with any longer.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I am so happy you found the channel and felt compelled to leave a message, Roxanne! Welcome! I agree, we should never be talking about our exes, past relationships or dating -on a date! Very meta…. and a turnoff! ♥️👍

[@johnballard6725]

A guy who says one or more of his exes was crazy is the reddest of red flags.

[@hump1953]

I really liked this video….I agree on the dinner date… I spent $150 for a first dinner date …it’s not out of my budget but at 3 times a week a little too expensive….

[@CoffeewithCarey]

And quite unnecessary. Dinner dates are not my first or second choice for a first date. Too long anyway.

[@geondy2]

No suit, it is not who I am, nor have ever been. Not a lawyer, or a politician, in other words not dishonest about who I am.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Heeeey! No stereotypes! ☺️

[@demivydE]

Many years ago I went out with a college professor who showed up wearing a Micky mouse shirt and bleached out jeans. He took me to DD and let me pay for his coffee. Make an effort to wear appropriate clothing!!!!

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Hahaha.

[@charmee4045]

What about a guy that keeps bringing up his wife, and he is a widow, what about a man that talks about cuddling, hand holding, hugging, blah blah blah, such a turnoff this was date #2. Always about touch etc. I think if there wasn't a table between us he would jump me. Not a good feeling.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

That’s about being firm with your boundaries! and… kzbin.info/www/bejne/m4bRi4WAbt2ekKcsi=MmlixiW70kWWFdt6

[@Hodenkat]

Men want to see women reciprocate effort at least to some degree.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Great point! Absolutely. And vice versa.

[@LynnS-gd8wq]

There's no way I'd expect or even want a man I met off the internet or someone I barely know to pay for my meal on a first date. I would mention in advance that we'd have separate bills. There are several reasons. A lot of times men can think if they pay for your meal you owe them something. At that point, to me, we aren't even dating, I don't even know the person, so I definitely don't want him to have any expectations of me. The second thing being I would want to be able to order an expensive drink or meal if I wanted it without that other person thinking I'm using them for a meal. The third thing is, it's not fair to the man. This is just a meet and greet...why should he be paying for someone he doesn't even know?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Thanks for sharing your opinion here, Lynn. The only thing I would mention here is that other people’s expectations of us are not really ours to worry about.

[@LynnS-gd8wq]

@@CoffeewithCarey Well it kind of is if you have to fight off a handsy date.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@LynnS-gd8wq Im curious how old you are. This makes me think about the olden days when people would say a woman was raped because she was dressed provocatively, and she was obviously “asking for it.” The way a woman dresses, or whether she allows a man to be chivalrous and pick up the dinner tab should have no bearing on whether or not she chooses to be intimate with anyone!

[@LynnS-gd8wq]

@@CoffeewithCarey I'm 59 and should add I haven't dated in 5 years after a 10 year relationship ended. So yes my dating experiences are from 15 years back. However, 'should have no bearing' is not reality. I'm pretty conservative and actually don't think it's smart for women to dress so provocatively either, I mean they are just asking for the wrong kind of attention. That's a much deeper topic though. Of course it's our choice who we want to be intimate with but me personally I'd rather not give off that vibe at all. I've had that issue of men trying to get way too close sooner than I'm comfortable with.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@LynnS-gd8wq You of course should do whatever feels right for you. I just want to make sure that you don’t ever forget that you can always say no. Men these days should have already received the message and understand that no means no. At any time and under any circumstances! 🤎

[@gracesusanotte5474]

Unkempt, ungroomed facial hair! ‘Nuff said

[@fantasiazplatkami]

I'm put off if on 1st date the guy is stingy, I out of politeness offer to pay for myself , but i think they should cover the bill.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

That’s the standard female response. 😉 👍

[@fantasiazplatkami]

@@CoffeewithCarey lately I was on Internet date, I offered to pay for drinks and guy accepted, of course at that point I stopped seeing it as a date. After a few days this guy writes "I felt you were not interested in me". Shoud I write him I expected him to pay or just let it go? I dont want to train him for some other lady:P

[@familytraumahealing]

What a great episode Carey! Thank you. I felt prompted to share few of my first date turn offs: A nice looking man came to our first lunch date wearing jeans, white t-shirt (all good)... and flip flops! Another guy took home both his and my dinner leftovers, without even asking me if I was okay with that. And guys, if you are looking for love and are on a date, PLEASE don't talk about your ex! Good luck to all with finding love!

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Personally, I’m OK with flip-flops… If he has nice feet, in fact, I might actually prefer it! Then I know if he has nice feet!!! Lol.

[@bobmoore6248]

Great advice. I try and be cognizant of these things when even hanging out with women friends.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

♥️👍

[@matthewveth2030]

This is Courtney Ryan 40 years from now.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

So you mean like once she has had some life experience and a decade of Coaching and matchmaking thousands of clients? 40 years??! HOW OLD do you think I freaking am?! 🤬🤣

[@matthewveth2030]

​@@CoffeewithCarey You're a good sport. Cheers.

[@karynreed8936]

Great advise Carey. As far as men paying, I would at least offer. If my first date with a man takes me to an expensive restaurant, I would at least offer to pay the bar bill. I’ve heard that men appreciate even the offer.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I agree. And if they say no, you can always offer to leave the tip. When you offer to “help with the check” and they decline, offer one second time, and then express your appreciation for their generosity!!! ♥️👍

[@johnballard6725]

First date don't go to an expensive restaurant !

[@fantasiazplatkami]

lady can ofer, but gentleman should decline, thats masculine and cool

[@robertvarner9519]

Good tips Carey. 👍👍☕☕

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Thank you, Robert!

[@mikemason746]

Every video like this mentions shoes and how women notice them. Trouble for me, I'm lucky if i just get my shoes to match.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Michael I have faith that you can do better! ;-) Lol

[@joanneyamada1552]

Agree

[@lxgator1]

All these rules go out the window for the ladies if the date is with Chad or Tyrone.

[@jjusticeIV]

Hi Carey, just wanted to mention that this video only has audio in the left ear.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

hmmm. what about part 1 from wednesday?

[@DebraFlower]

good info for women too

[@CoffeewithCarey]

yup. both episodes should be seen by both genders!

[@user-ei8rb7sj6c]

Carey, do you have advice on what men have told you are turn offs for them in the women they date? I’m over 60 and haven’t been on a dating site in over two years. Now that it’s been a while I’m thinking of getting back out there. I’ve been enjoying your videos bc IMHO your tips and advice are practical & sensible.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

glad you are enjoying the channel. and yes..: kzbin.info/www/bejne/opaulHqaateboMUsi=d__YF_TZ6EFWED-U

[@charmee4045]

How about a shave and shower, maybe brush your teeth.......man you would not believe it.Definitely not paying on the first date, no way.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

🤭🤦🏻‍♀️

[@klausgersdorf8315]

Yes but #9 on second date, she should at least offer!

[@CoffeewithCarey]

Agree

[@goldenparachute392]

Why?

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@goldenparachute392 because it’s good manners

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@goldenparachute392 kzbin.info/www/bejne/d53MY4KieZudgMU

[@goldenparachute392]

@@CoffeewithCarey I disagree. If it’s courtship, proper manners dictate that the man pay for the first few dates. If it’s a friendship, then yes the woman should pay for her share always. If it’s an established relationship (girlfriend or +), then yes the woman could pay based on her ability as compared to the man’s ability to pay.

[@Abbas_bisso]

you are pretty mom

[@CoffeewithCarey]

amzn.to/3qOcmlb

[@thecastle09]

Broads want someone to buy them dinner and gifts

[@CoffeewithCarey]

sounds like you’re really picking the wrong dames! 🙃

[@LL-jd5mn]

😂 "Braids" hahaha, make sure to call your dates that right there in front of them as well, do it😃

[@Junoj101]

rule #1 for all guys: never take advice about women from a woman. find a successful guy in the area of interest and learn from him.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

And don’t go to female doctors. Oh, and if you get a DUI, make sure you get an alcoholic lawyer!!!

[@TheCalvinnnnn]

I agree tbh. You dont ask a fish what’s the best way to go fishing.

[@CoffeewithCarey]

@@TheCalvinnnnn are you trying to trap women, annihilate them and eat them? 😳 If not, your analogy is ridiculous; we are all trying to better understand the other genders! It’s not supposed to be an adversarial or dangerous relationship! ☹️

[@Junoj101]

​@@CoffeewithCarey If I want to be wealthy I would go to someone who has a record of success in generating wealth, not someone who inherited it, or has a theory about how to do it ;) A woman can not understand the mans struggle. her life does not require her to deal with same issues as men. The best thing a man can do for himself is never take any advice from a woman about relationships. The last woman that attempted to understand what men have to deal with and how women treated men, took her own life . . . you should read her book . . . her name is Norah Vincent