90 Day Fiancé - (Jorge & Anfisa #30) - Data Abuse - Therapist Reacts

[@stellannie86]

It seems to me like Anfisa has a very low self esteem. She believes men are with her only because of her body, so she has to pretend she's in the relationship also just because of something shallow, something that doesn't show her vulnerability.

[@Bahamaana]

Yes!!

[@daringone657]

You said they should all have therapy. If they did that, there wouldn’t be a 90 day fiancé show!. 😊

[@stellannie86]

That would be better. :)

[@stargirl6659]

It would show them getting better and it would be too wholesome, the audience likes a train reck.

[@maeahem]

@@stargirl6659 yes, even these reality rehab or counselling shows are always a mess and still manipulated not for the benefit of the participants. It’s unfortunate.

[@DanielleMarieW]

Therapy is still a journey even when it’s effective. I’d love to see 90DF + therapy, especially for folks like Anfisa, George and Darcey.

[@Mel-S.99]

Boundaries are so important. My ex was insistent on driving my car one more time when i told him i was leaving. it made no sense to me but i didn't see what harm could come until he started trying to wreck it. i refused to give in on my boundaries after that and was called all sorts of things because of it

[@radk3124]

thank you for saying what you said. My abusive ex used to say his behavior was justified because I pushed his buttons (and yes, we did argue and yes, I did yell at him .. I mean .. justly so :D). And it's good to hear that in spite of that he had no right to put hands on me. You know, these people get under your skin and into your brain and twist it so that you actually agree with them ... sad but true

[@jessicacarron1588]

So early! 🎉 Jorge really triggers me, especially when he smirks when he’s caught in deceptive moments. In this video, he smirks when she calls him on the hypocrisy of wanting her for her body yet criticizing her for being in it for money. It reminds me of a kid who thinks they’re cute for doing something bad. That being said, he doesn’t deserve the abuse, and I agree I felt like the host/group victim blamed him for marrying her despite her abuse. I suspect for some of this group, the victim blaming helps them justify some of their own behaviors, as well.

[@ScarletMidnight]

Getting caught in a lie and behaving like that was classic Patrick from Patrick and Thais. Dr Honda really pointed out how immature and concerning that behavior was in Patrick, but perhaps there's so much else going on that he's not making as much of a big deal about it here. There's A LOT going on with this couple that's unhealthy so I bet it's difficult to cover it all and Dr Honda is trying to address the things that appear most concerning from his perspective. It can feel frustrating when you notice things that go uncommented on, especially if those behaviors are triggering to you. I definitely feel triggered by Jorge, and just because Anfisa is behaving badly doesn't mean he shouldn't also be held accountable.

[@saldebrowde7823]

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[@GroovyFeminist]

What's striking to me about the perpetrator group therapy you described is that no one in their life has previously pushed back against their behavior.

[@sf4010]

From my experience when you push back on a perpetrators behavior they get more hostile and defensive. Also usually they come from environments where the behavior is common and accepted as normal

[@lorgoogle220]

This video is triggering for me, because when I was younger I acted like this is my first relationship. It was a learned behavior from my mother. It was with time I became aware of my own behavior, I was able to self correct really years ago before this channel or therapy was really talked about in the open. It’s just baffling how even being on T.v. Anfisa doesn’t appear to show any guilt for her behavior. I went through the denial process then I became so guilty for my behavior and made vows to myself to change for the better entirely. So it’s hard to decipher if the producers are asking them to play up these scenarios and they have great acting skills or if after all this time they haven’t reflected upon themselves to make a change. Would this behavior Anfisa is exhibiting be considered emotionally stunted?

[@maeahem]

Dr Honda does address in previous videos I think, that Anfisa does have some issues with regressing back to an emotionally immature state when triggered. And her actions while not excusable, are understandable.

[@GnosisDharma]

thanks for adressing victim blaming, I'm beeing victim blamed and it has been a huge burden on me, I can't talk about things that happened to me. I'm scared of people. I have been bullied almost my entire life more or less, to somewhat degree I could handle what my family did because I knew them and so I understood why it was so messy in school it was I think to a large degree because I stood out, I used to be in a religious sect, but the bullying at work totally crushed me. I could leave one work to be abused at other workplaces, I was very infortunate.. so I was so upset why are people doing this to me so I reached out desperatly to people and they could say well it must be your fault because it happened so many times. It's hard society expects me to work but I'm scared of people now and have handle stress very bad. Everything I went through have made me angry and easily triggered. So what I hope is that victimblaming would be more put in the spot light so people would stop doing it, it's not helpful. Sure I might be an easy target, maybe I act in a way that could make people see me as easy pray but it don't justify anything. Instead I wish someone helped me how to not be easy pray, how do I act if someone acts like this or that or question this or that or do dirty jokes. By the way I'm woman too so victimblaming happens still towards us, but I understand what you meant you mean the very violant crimes done towards woman have been put into the spotlight so people don't dare to do it anymore. But more has to be done to victimblaming it's not okej and it's not helpfull. If anyone knows things that works with bullies at work please tell me, I really want to turn the table. Also that they say the best revenge is success has made feel even more miserable, because I don't. I try to think that I don't need to prove myself to anyone. That is how I cope with much of the abuse I went through.

[@radk3124]

I'm sorry. Can feel the pain in your text. I hope u can seek out help and set off on a new life journey. U surely deserve that.

[@GnosisDharma]

@@radk3124 thanks I do.. seek help

[@stargirl6659]

You know what I would prefer them not talk about therapy if they are going to be acting like Ed. It gives therapy a bad rap and puts people off. I feel like Ed only mentions therapy to get on his high horse, which I’m not certain but that’s how it comes across to me. Not saying he has to be perfect but he is bad PR, I would avoid his therapist as all cost if it were me.

[@radk3124]

true ... he uses therapy as an excuse. "yeah, but .... I'm a changed man..." oh please!

[@dulcedelgadillovargas6487]

I love your videos Dr!❤❤❤❤❤ hello from Sacramento

[@ashelliot8895]

14:43 hmmm could this be a Freudian slip? 🤔Was Kirk talking about or WITH 😂

[@katiearcher4475]

Hehehehehe i said manufactured drama just before you Dr. Kirk!

[@praesentia3880]

I love your content but one of my pet peeves is how you end your videos. They are always so abrupt and lately you'll say "Let's see what happens next" and then cut to "....Alright, well that's it for this video!" Kills me.

[@lucylohan8894]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I feel like the host of this show (not Honda) kind of eggs on some of the disfunctional triangulation, and comes off judgy.

[@whoknows7593]

Out of all the cast from this show, Anfisa and Evil-lyn are the most triggering to me. I can't stand them at all.

[@koobie83]

Has it come up yet that Anfisa was a cam girl and Jorge lied to her by making out he was a multi millionaire?

[@sf4010]

Yes and how does any of that negate or justify Anfisa being abusive?

[@LDrosophila]

A trophy wife Dr. Honda?

[@mojo782]

Lol I was rolling when he was trying to find the word

[@stellannie86]

Maybe he's trying to avoid that objectifying word..?

[@jalm6868]

This triggers me a bit.