A Cosy Christmas Catch Up Q&A!

[@nudgificator]

Genuine out loud 'aww, yay!' when you said you'd found someone. Very happy for you. :)

[@DanLayton]

😊

[@agnes1478]

Honestly same, I fully clapped. Another good reason to live alone (no-one to see you be Weird As Heck)

[@DragonPrincessAoife]

I punched the air, so happy for you dude.

[@estherdunlop2010]

Properly thrilled that you've got someone who makes you happy 😊 😃

[@Nieknique]

@@DanLayton I was legit smiling from ear to ear upon hearing that bit! Following you for so long, I properly felt so happy for you and wholesome to hear that!

[@violetblood]

Dan just never misses. honestly find it very difficult to name another content creator that nails this cozy chat with a friend but also well put together vibe

[@TheConstantSeeker]

I'm a cis-gay man. But I went through a period where I thought of using they/them pronouns because I like to occassionally wear makeup, a dangly earring, paint my nails -- but what I realized later was it's not that I'm unsure of my 'manhood' or 'masculinity' but that I'd been told that if I did those things it meant I wasn't a man. And THAT isn't true. I can do all those things and still be a man who uses he/him pronouns. I should be spending my energy trying to broaden the description of what a man can look like, dress like, rather than trying to be something else because I don't fit some old school definition.

[@DanLayton]

That. Part. 🙏🏻

[@nathilism]

As a cis-woman who does not strive to conform, this is exactly how I feel about gender. Well put. And honestly, what you said is why TERFS are so vehement about their beliefs, they think that trans-idenitfying people are erasing the spectrum of cis-gender expression by defining new labels rather than breaking cis-gender norms, inadvertently pushing traditional gender norms onto cis-identifying people. And while I understand that perspective, I have come to learn of the pain that society has caused a lot of people, and believe that individuals should be free to identify however they please. In the same way that gender norms only affect you if you allow them to, how trans people choose to identify only affects you if you let it. EDIT: I feel the need to clarify that gender norms do in fact affect us all, not just those who "let" them. However, I also think that some people lack both resilience and a strong sense of identity, and that these people are more likely to have trauma informed gender identities. Either way, those actions of individuals which do not cause harm, do not concern me.

[@Al-ho1oo]

@@nathilism preach

[@unakamillasteinsen4817]

Oh I agree with this very much. I'm a cis mostly-straight woman and recently was on a gender exploration which ended where it began, so to speak. I have some enby friends that have been very lovely answering all my questions but in the end I figured out I was happy with my assigned gender. I think it was the gender presentation that I wanted to play with, which in my case didn't affect my gender. I wish everyone could have the space to question and explore this kind of thing safely, whatever conclusion they may come to. And even though I still identify as a woman, I do feel like I've leveled up, having gone through it

[@hannasophia18]

discovering there is a difference in gender-identity and gender-expression was such a huge gamechanger for me! btw, i love men with make-up

[@KeyMan158]

I don't comment on videos very often but that last section was very relatable. Perhaps you can organise a round table discussion. Get handful of friends together on a couch and just see where the conversation goes. It doesn't even have to be exclusively about your identity, it could just be a discussion on the idea of wanting/not wanting to identify a certain way. I only found you through WrestleTalk (your chemistry with Luke is *chef's kiss emoji*) but very much appreciate what you offer as a creator!

[@DanLayton]

I love that idea!! We do it anyway, might as well make content out of it…

[@MB-ib9zv]

@@DanLayton I'm pretty sure a lot of us would love to hear what you guys get to talk about candidly so I'm looking forward to watching it if you do decide to make it into content. :D

[@sinistersweet5236]

There was a boy 5 years ago who stumbled across your channel on the comedown of a small addiction to Tomska. After watching a few videos on your reviews of films, he eventually watched a video with an interesting title, "How are you Not Straight". He got a glimpse of the experiences of someone who enjoys socially ordained "feminine" behaviors and dress immediately being assumed as gay or at the very least queer. Growing up a black kid with a VERY white sounding voice, straight with a "gay way of carrying himself", and attending primarily Catholic schools for most of his life, he was always flustered that skin color an sexuality have stereotypes attached to them that many even within their own communities take as gospel. That video, finally, let him feel unalone. And that may have been all he needed. That boy now is in a strange area (similar to you) where he can't completely imagine himself with someone of the same gender (yet at least), bu is attracted to them to say the least. We all have our terms, but the only one he's every used for himself is "very not straight". And again, maybe that's all he needs. Sexuality is such a strange concept and honestly it may not deserve a constant barrage of attention to figure out where you fit on the pie chart. Thank you so much Dan. Keep flying high.

[@livridley3515]

i am GRINNING from ear to ear listening to u talk about your partner, so happy for u Mr layton

[@livridley3515]

just finished the vid. The bit about acting is relatable as hellllll, I graduated from my MT uni degree in 2020 (lol yep) and since then I've kinda lost motivation and am unsure whether I want to actually try to audition, or maybe do a masters at an actual drama school because annoyingly that does help you get a good agent...idk man. I can tell my mum doesn't want me to let go of acting, but I can't tell if I myself want to keep trying or not. Part of me thinks I'd be just as fulfilled if I worked with cats, and then part of me is like "but I actually would quite like to act on screen and be oh-so-slightly famous" 😂 idk. Thus ends my essay, lovely vid Dan thank u

[@emilynolf]

I do find it interesting that Dan feels like his audience only likes specific things. I've been subscribed for many years now, since I was at least a freshman in high school, and I will honestly watch anything he puts out. Vlogs, baking, film, little chats, I'll watch anything he puts out. I don't know if it's just me, but there's something very calming and comfortable about the way Dan talks and just exists.

[@scottthomas8475]

Dude being someone who’s followed you for years, hearing you’re in a happy relationship makes me so happy. Good on you my friend

[@okayheykae]

I'm a lonely little bean and this video was like a cozy catch up with a friend, thanks for that! 💜

[@starryoong]

That last bit hit very close to home. "these labels exist for other people to know how to respond to me" - I'm gonna keep this one close as I go about finding out who I am, thank you for always providing a safe, welcoming space where I can laugh and feel at home. I quite like that we're fumbling about and finding ourselves together :)

[@DorkOrc]

It’s such a small thing but I love that every time Hazel is ever brought up by anyone anywhere for any reason there’s always some question mark or asterix or *look*. Howling

[@sooziepie]

Why? As in, why do they do a look?

[@Vivortic]

As somebody who is currently doing a masters course, I'd really recommend it! There's something about pursuing knowledge that YOU'VE chosen that's kinda freeing in a way, as cringe as it sounds. But just getting to throw yourself into something you're so deeply passionate about is so lovely. Also, telling people that you're studying for a masters is really fun too lol Glad to hear you're doing well tho and congrats on the relationship! From a long-time fan (about 2015 or so) :)))

[@DanLayton]

It’s things like this that make me consider doing a masters in something wildly different that I just find fascinating haha

[@nicojones4272]

So much of what you said about gender and labels and pronouns resonates me and just, thank you? Thank you. It's nice to hear another person say similar stuff. I use bi, genderqueer and they/them because that mentality allows myself to do whatever the fuck I want on any given day presentation/internal identity-wise (because let me tell you, my whole deal so often shifts). I found myself unhealthily obsessively thinking daily about gender and presentation and my clothes/makeup and what to do to "fit" and honestly I'd rather just learn who I am and be comfortable with that person and not put myself in a box. Everything is fluid, and most days I find the less I think about my own gender and just think about *me* , the happier I am. So, completely unsolicited, that's me atm, and thank you for sharing you :) Much love from Toronto 🏳‍🌈🇨🇦

[@aknee3042]

Damn, I find your outlook on identity incredibly refreshing and comforting. When people ask me what I am, I understand that it’s out of kind curiosity and concern, but forcing myself to be one way for the sake of a label has caused an awful lot of damage and miscommunication over the years. It’s not fair on me or anyone else involved really. I’ve got to the point now, very similarly to you I think, where I just identify as myself - although I’m nonbinary on paper that’s only because I have very little association with gender at all and it’s the next best thing. Queer is a really helpful blanket term and I like that sense of mischief, it makes me feel like Puck or something slightly cryptic. Sometimes I feel like saying I identify as a bowl of soup because you know what? Who even cares anyway - I’m warm, I’m comforting, I like good food so I might as well be. Anyway, all that’s to say if you did feel like doing a video about it I’d be extremely interested to hear what you have to say, but if you don’t feel like it then that’s fine too :)

[@lachlanreid945]

I very much enjoyed this little catch-up with you. It honestly makes me feel like it’s a chat with a friend I haven’t seen in like a year plus. (Also Daniel J. Layton [Actor/pissboiler] will forever remain cannon with me)

[@lachlanreid945]

I forgot to say go you for finding someone! 😂

[@AlpacasWithScarves]

As someone who was convinced he was the straight friend of the group up until summer this year, and since have discovered I am not only bi, but on the aro spectrum, I have always watched you and felt represented, the softness never detracting from your masculinity, the genderplay with the outfits and breaking expectations, a shining example of living your authentic self. So when I say that I cried when you spoke about your gender and your sexuality, know that it wasn't just the shared experiences ringing true, or only that I was proud of the courage it took you to say your truth, but it was everything to me and I'm so overwhelmed, thank you Dan, thank you for everything. On another note does the new partner mean less shirtless pictures on instagram 👀

[@phililili23]

You're far from the first person in our age group I've heard say Heartstopper was a real moment for them regarding their own identity. The writing and acting on that show has done so much for so many people in such a short period of time. (Also so happy for you and your partner!)

[@amylyne1977]

Yay new Dan video! I think your ideal job with be something like Graham Norton show but a more cosy version with cake/ cooked tasty thing with wine, comfy sofas and relaxing, and interesting people to talk to.

[@Clazz94]

Not to throw a spanner in the works but I also liked it when you talked about books. Okay thanks byeeeeee

[@lx-icon]

Queer person here :D I don't know if this helps (or if you even WANT anyone's perspective because yours is totally valid) - but for myself, I think the way you talk about gender is EXACTLY why I personally identify as non-binary and use they/them pronouns. I don't want any of the baggage that people associate with male or female attributed to me - I want them to just see me as an individual person, rather than something to be categorised. For a long time I also rejected labels! ... but knowing about them CAN be helpful in the sense that they give you framework with which to think about aspects of yourself in relation to those labels. Thanks for the vid!

[@JudithARobinson]

It's not often I venture into reading KZbin comments as it's generally a bad idea. But I just read through every comment made here so far and just want to say how wonderful it feels to find lovely, warm, like-minded people. It happens so rarely on the internet nowadays. Sending love and good vibes out to everyone here💞

[@ricardaseven6083]

Aww Dan you look so happy and I'm so happy for you! Also, that jumper makes your eyes *sparkle* it is very pretty

[@beckymjpen7079]

I love listening to you! Doesn't matter what the topic you always explain things so clearly an brighten my day up. Merry Christmas

[@Piggeroo]

as someone who's been watching you for almost 10 years (jesus Christ) I do feel like i've kind of grown up with you (I just turned 23) and seeing how happy and confident you are makes me so happy and no matter what/how much you feel like sharing with us i'm sure I speak for most of your followers when I say we just want you to be happy and we're happy to be involved in your life in whatever ways your comfortable with and I look forward to watching you continue to grow and flourish in the rest of your life you have ahead of you (because 32 is not old)

[@lilgremlin8494]

eyyyy first comment! Also your vibes and chill videos and (attempts) at cooking have gotten me through my first term of uni x :))

[@DanLayton]

You made it!! Congrats!!

[@really-quite-exhausted]

The phrase "gay as Christmas at Selfridges" is absolutely sending me 💀

[@unholyglee5306]

4:02 the edit here when shrinking the frame definitely fits the "I've got someone and my heart's cozy" energy you're giving. From a stranger on the internet with similar love-life experiences as you've shared on this channel, I am genuinely happy for you and your found love!

[@theodoesthings]

"the labels exist for other people to know how to respond to me" EXACTLY

[@pisto30]

"I love that I can have people over, and I love even more that I can make them go away." I feel seen.

[@liabe18]

"I and Thou" ' an essay I read in university kind of reminded me of what you said regarding queernes. The essay is not about gender but it talks about how we should look at people as a whole beeing and not try to spilt them into little things and descriptors. That truly seeing someone is seeing them as a whole unique person, someone you can't narrow down to labels. Once you try to categorize people, put them in a box, it automatically narrows your view of them. So I agree with what you said. Anyway, lovely chat, thanks !

[@lanid6507]

It's so good to hear you say that about labels, i've been of that mindset for a long time - it doesn't feel right to tell other people you are 'straight' or 'gay' or 'queer', why does it have to be tied to anyone's gender or preference? It's just love and attraction, isn't it?

[@Harri_James]

People love to talk about Alan Rickman going to RADA at 26 (which as someone who is 30 I think is not particularly old at all, even for the world of acting but I'm also not an actor so...) but there are loads of actors who started in their mid to late 30s and had full on careers before they started acting. Also people look to film stars but there's plenty of people who do theatre stuff for a living that maybe aren't huge stars but earn enough to have it be their full time profession. I absolutely do not think you should give up your dream of being an actor.

[@hollybarter9970]

Oh mate listening to you talk about ur new relationship I could cry 🥺 love you a lot

[@Piggeroo]

I would like it known that when I watch these very chatty videos I do in fact pause it regularly and respond as if we are having an actual conversation and some may say thats sad, which it may well be, but I still enjoy it so thank you for being a friend, or at least a parasocial friend

[@DanLayton]

That’s how I listen to podcasts, so I very much approve!

[@Piggeroo]

@@DanLayton hey also while i've got you here i'm thinking of getting a lemony eggs tattoo, any ideas?

[@winterwolf1111]

Loved that gender talk at the end, very relatable :)

[@---fq5yv]

when you talk about your acting I mainly think about you in PhoneShop which is great because it's probably my favourite TV show

[@millieharrison9925]

I loved hearing your thoughts on the last section! I think a lot of people get caught up in the idea that you *need* a label to describe who you are, that you need to check off which little boxes you fit into, and for some people that’s defo a comfort!! when I finally landed on calling myself bisexual it felt like something had clicked into place for me and I know for a lot of people it’s the same and for some an even greater sense of euphoria. but I think there’s also comfort just in the being- of being yourself and not worrying about having to find the right words to define that. similar to you, I’ve been having thoughts about gender and I always end up just saying “I’m mostly a woman” and being happy with that! I think that’s the beauty of the word queer and its community: it greets everyone at the door with a warm hug and smile no matter who’s on the other side :)

[@philwebb8343]

I totally vibe with your feelings on gender, i personally don't really care and just want to exist how I want, and think everyone should get that chance. Honestly if it wasn't for you painting your nails a few years back, I probably wouldn't have considered it myself, and between your exploration of these things and some good friends, I wouldn't have found my own path to where I am now, continuing to explore the things that make me happy with self expression and style

[@notanimposter]

I just sat down with a mug of tea and a warm blanket and I was wondering what I should watch

[@frankynstein]

Your description of feelings about the queer label as opposed to putting yourself in boxes feels so familiar. A fellow queer friend asked me where I was with my gender and sexuality recently and I was just. Flummoxed 😅 and honestly, I’m alright with that. Also glad you’re doing well, and have a relationship that clearly makes you happy!! It’s wonderful to hear ☺️

[@llm210]

You seem to have a lightness about you these days Dan, it’s wonderful to see :D

[@semiformaldehyde]

It's always great to see your face! I fully get your feelings towards identity. I feel like I'm in the same boat on the other end of the spectrum regarding gender attraction - primarily attracted to men, with the occasional exception. As far as i understood your piece, you're in that mindset except you're primarily attracted to women! Also, you don't ever have to put yourself in a box. Defining yourself under the queer umbrella and not sorting yourself into further little boxes is perfectly valid and it all comes down to what makes you feel more comfortable

[@twiggledowntown3564]

Same. It felt so weird when I went onto tumblr, trying to understand it, because most people were just one way or the other. I was sitting in the boat, thinking I'm not 50/50, so why does it feel so awkward at times.

[@thomasandrewclifford]

100% loved the part on gender, I felt accidentally understood. I don't tend to dwell on it much but I know for a long period I really struggled with the associations of the labels of male, man and masculine because they felt like I wasn't. I learned about this idea of everything existing on a spectrum and it helped me to see myself better and (mostly) avoid making the associations myself. I now feel better with who I am, who I like and what I stand for and it doesn't have to fit the stereotype of every assumption made about me.

[@elizabethowens4687]

I like to put myself as romantically challenged on my love life 😂 pleased that you have found someone also really like this style of videos very open and honest it’s refreshing

[@bettyreads222]

Happy that you're happy with someone and glad to hear you talk about your thoughts about how hosting is something you enjoy and your journey to figure out what acting would look like for you. Good luck on your future applications!

[@naif7252]

"I dont owe you an explanation" is definitely one meaning of queer and definitely one I subscribe to a lot. I absolutely understand the joy of confusing people. They joy of asking why are there boxes in the first place. You don't owe anyone an explanation. You don't owe anyone Labels, or pronouns. you can just go "whatever I don't really care" when someone asks for them. For some people, gender is very important. it's something they can hold on to, identify with, use as a tool or a weapon. And for some people, gender just doesn't vibe. Can we just not. Why I like or dislike things doesn't really have anything to do with my gender. it has to do with Me. to the living alone: it's the best. just having your peace and having your space be your space is great. to the masters degree: try it, go for it. I do believe you're good enough. I do believe youre talented enough, and there's so many people who started their careers way past your age. Your path in life will be your path in life, there's no sense comparing it to others. Just try for the things that you think will make you happy.

[@StellaFiver]

Just like I thought, this was lovely to watch while recovering from last night's Christmas Party shenanigans. You look happy and it's wonderful! :) The way you speak about your girlfriend is so sweet, I can't even feel bitter about being the last Bridget Jones around, and I'm wishing the two of you all the best!

[@unakamillasteinsen4817]

"Private but not secret" BIG YES love it

[@cicelyamelia]

✨dan’s a pissboiler✨ But in all seriousness, this was a delight. I am so so happy for you for all the positives that are in your life. It’s amazing to have watched you for 9 or 10 years now, have watched you grow as a creator and AUTHOR?!?! And you seem so content with where you are now, and it brings me joy❤️ sending you and yours love and light at Christmas and for the new year, and I can’t wait to see what you do in the future

[@megancita75]

What a comfortable, thoughtful visit with you! Warmest holiday wishes.

[@bonzina]

Only just now getting to your christmas videos as real life has been so hectic but I let out a truly ecstatic gasp when you said you were happy with someone, all the warm and fuzzy feelings! You would be horrified by how uninterested I am in films but I quite happily watch you talk about them because you make it funny and interesting. Musical theatre Dan is something I'd love to see, I don't think anyone ever feels ready, just go for it!

[@9thgalaxy778]

Honestly the “straight enough” label really speaks to me in all my anxious confusion.

[@anomalily]

I am also upset you have not hit the 100K level and I also want validation for you. You deserve a plaque.

[@ZetaDellSmithMusic]

Did anyone else start applauding when Dan said he's in a relationship :) All of the warm feelings

[@charlotteclements4541]

As someone who is currently doing an acting MA- I also felt very underprepared but do it! You never know what will happen or what you’re capable of until you’ve done it!

[@mvwinf]

I’m so proud of you, Dan, as are so many of us. Even if you don’t like labels (or, like me, are growing to resent them a bit), living without them can still be scary. And it takes guts to talk about it so openly as you have. All this put together makes you so brave. It’s a good look on you.

[@rosellenbay]

Hey Dan! I did my MA in Musical Thetare at RWCMD in Cardiff, if you ever want to chat about audition process, the course and general vibes, let me know. My best pal did her MA at Mountview too, so if you want a bit of a chat about the differences between the courses etc, happy to help. I know it’s something you’ve been chatting about/considering for a while, I definitely found it helpful talking to grads about their experience. 👏🏻

[@LoxiDays33]

I know what you mean about living alone. I'm currently living in supported housing so it's not technically "alone" but I have my own room and kitchen, and it's the most independence I've had in my life. And, honestly, I love it so much. I love that I can just enjoy my own company and do what I want when I want. I'm glad you're doing ok, Dan ❤

[@jayw9888]

yes yes yes! i’m trans, and pronouns are so important to so many people within the community. it’s great for trans and cis people to have their in their bios and email signatures but we can’t force people to. in my opinion. i don’t always do it, because i feel it will out me. and like you say, some people don’t want to label themselves or aren’t sure of things yet. i feel like some people get too pushy sometimes, we can stress the importance whilst also respecting not everyone wants to/can for a number of reasons

[@jayw9888]

and i’m glad to hear you’re doing well, been following you since 2015 or so. grown up with you i suppose, we met at SITC way back when. happy for you, your videos and you always make me smile :)

[@gracelo_9]

these are always so comforting, I genuinely feel like we're best friends and I'm so happy to see how happy you are :)

[@coolkyra10]

You're telling me the monthly vlogs were SIX YEARS ago?!

[@EmilyHinchliff]

That last section- perfection. I’ve never quite been able to put my finger (oo-er) on what/who I am or what labels I should fit into. I’m just Ems, not straight but not gay, not queer but not bi, not questioning but just loving. I am just me, finding myself and going through life and I think that’s more than enough.

[@AndreBarnettJohnson]

I'm really shocked that you never mentioned "The Great British Bake Off" show, or Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry, or doing Ascot. I love how you value the not-so-flashy things in life!

[@bindybob]

Thanks for the cuppa tea and the chat Dan, you always make us feel at home, and it warms my heart to hear you talk about the things you got going on with such excitement ❤️

[@lixak6307]

I hate to be “that person” but I do genuinely turn on your catch-ups when I’m feeling lonely or having difficulty motivating myself to socialize, ESPECIALLY during lockdown. You are very easy to listen to and be comfortable with, I could totally see you hosting a podcast where you support people telling their stories. I stan the “straight enough” label too! Thank you for sharing yourself with us and please please keep whatever you want in your life private. Your relationship does not have to be public to be real

[@Hexelovemarlene]

still somehow want u to do a podcast where u just talk… i enjoy your voice and ur choice of words so much 🥰

[@DanLayton]

Looking into it for next year! Might start something on Patreon, get the swing of it and see where we go from there 😊

[@lutikae1811]

I always enjoy watching your videos, I don't usually comment, but I have been going back to your old videos a lot to watch recently and they always make me laugh and feel comfortable. Hearing you talk about living in London was really lovely as I have recently moved out of London to go to uni, to a vastly different type of place, I do miss it lots. Thank you for all of your videos :)

[@hannasophia18]

It is so nice to see you happy and confident. Especially that kind of confidence that comes from knowing you are good at something! I understand what you are saying about not wanting to give up your dreams. I'm an artist (singer/performer/writer/producer of contemporary opera) and it reminds me of a conversation I've had with a composer friend. She is most known for her compositions, but also did other stuff. But she said that composing really got picked up so she decided to focus on that. Doesn't mean she doesn't do the other things anymore, but she puts her energy in the thing that works so to speak. And there might come a season where other things might take the spotlight. Just because you focus now on presenting, doesn't mean you'll never be an actor. But focusing on the thing you are good at and appreciated for is not a bad thing :) (Also feel free to completely ignore this if it doesn't serve you right now!)

[@hannasophia18]

oh oh also I like your take on labels to challenge people. I use my labels also to challenge people, but the other way around! I'm genderfluid/non-binary and autistic and I dont ''look'' like either of those. Which is fun to watch people react to. Especially the autism, people will throw out little comments about stereotypically autistic stuff and I'll go '' but I'm autistic'' and they will get embarrassed and that is fun (and then I get to talk about my special interest and teach them some things hahaha)

[@MsHollyMusic]

I've been following you for years and just wanted to say it's been a blast growing up alongside your videos and having a lot of the same life situations

[@jakewilliamthomas]

So much respect for how you deal with rejecting the box out around you.

[@daisypuente8463]

“Private but not secret” immediately made me think of a Downton Abbey scene where Anna said that same thing

[@DanLayton]

I wish I could remember which character that is…

[@Hydraas]

Much appreciate the update, glad you're happy in life atm 😊

[@merrymermaid]

@@DanLayton Mary’s lady’s maid, she married Mr Bates :)

[@mariongivhan4574]

Feeling very much the same when it comes to gender and sexuality. I'm very much bisexual but embracing the idea that I'm also just me. So happy for this catch up and so glad you're doing well :D

[@alicenham]

It's always a joy to watch your videos - you do make people feel comfortable so it's like a catch up with an old friend

[@rynb4868]

Lovely to see you happy :) as a trans person, it's certainly more important to me that people are vocal against GCs and TERFS than having their pronouns in bio. experimentation, in private or not, is half the joy of gender anyway

[@sarazeig]

1. i've only heard you sing in one video but you're so good and you haven't even had lessons yet??? 2. i'm def interested in hearing more of this conversation in whatever capacity you're comfortable with! 3. that sweater looks SO good with your eyes

[@vilioletten832]

This was joyous! I am so friggin happy for you right now I can't even put it into words! I wish I actually knew you irl so that I can give you a big squishy hug! Instead I'll do a long distance high five (Jim&Pam style)

[@elliebryson6045]

I identified as Bi since I was 15 but now, as a 23yr old, I find that Queer fits me better. Like you, I like the ambiguity and vagueness, because yes, I'm attracted to guys, girls and anyone who doesn't fit that, but my gender at the minute seems to be "??" Still playing with pronouns and my look to see what might fit best for the future, but using 'queer' has somewhat taken the pressure off of it if that makes sense? Just have fun with exploring your identity, it's you that's living it after all! [also a cider that I've found to be amazing hot is Brothers Toffee Apple Cider]

[@arghlcasey]

This was delightfully cozy. I'm mostly sober, but I have a self-certificated exclusion built in for hot and spicy (née mulled?) cider at Glastonbury.

[@alenaz2081]

Hold on ONE second! I need to pause this in the middle and say: I'm so so happy for you (and her) that you've found someone lovely!!! I hope you make each other very happy, you really deserve it. (Not that one needs a relationship, but you know, if it's real it's right/nice... ^^) And we dont need to know more. Treasure it, enjoy it, thank you for sharing what you share. It really just made me very happy ☺️

[@bekah9344]

I love the cozy energy and catch up. Genuinely got all happy to hear about the relationship, you getting paid to chat wrestling, and hearing you keep complexity in identity. All so so lovely, glad you're doing alright :)

[@lorbaborb]

i love hearing you ramble

[@PufflePie]

dan’s list of roommates, otherwise known as the cast of some lovely board games

[@jw844]

Totally get what you're saying about labels. As a non-binary queer subscriber whose thought a lot about labels over the years haha, I'd say that that labels are language tools for us to use, when we want, if we want. They can be useful for self describing, communicating about with others and finding communities of somewhat similar people. But they can also be limiting at times, not expansive or nebulous as feels accurate and also Often come with a lot of baggage. If you ever want to describe as labels within the LGBT+ community, you are welcome in that space from what you're describing. However, on the days when those labels aren't a useful tool, I totally get it. For example. I've found with my grandparents it doesn't matter to me if they use different language around my gender, because I know they still see me as a messy artist and book-lover. And for me, those labels are more important in that particular space? I think it can also be the case where expression can be so much more important than labels sometimes. (Although labels can be useful in situations where expression isn't showing the full picture). Wishing you the best! Also wow, watching the first season of Pose change my life in terms of self acceptance and personally getting into lgbt+ history, so highly recommend that to anyone exploring their gender identity.

[@anubisunchained]

the whole unlabelled/ challenge people thing resonates w me too

[@ediewizz14]

How DARE you not count me and Sookie as two separate roommates. The GALL.

[@colecerys123]

Awww im happy for you that you’re in a relationship! That made me smile☺️ I really hope you get your big break you deserve it❤I relate to what you said about gay being a bad thing, i really hate the word lesbian for myself so would never use it as it definitely had negative connotations growing up that im never going to be able to shake so I therefore say im gay but even saying that is hard a lot of the time because again gay was seen as a bad thing (especially in the time when gay was an insult about anything) I know its because of internalised homophobia and i do my absolute best to be proud but it is very hard sometimes. Would love to see a whole video on the topic of sexuality and gender as i do find it so fascinating!

[@theodoraadelaide3060]

I think I mentally class your stuff less as video Blogs and more as video columns. Even if I have no knowledge of what you're talking about, it's the personality and feeling of a regular catch with a friend over a pack of gingernuts that I keep coming back for! And no one likes having the same convo over and over again with their mates. X

[@DanLayton]

Columns, I love that!!

[@theodoraadelaide3060]

@@DanLayton just to reeeaallly hammer home the Bridget Jones comparison

[@hannahm9205]

Mmmm this felt like a nice cozy hug. I can definitely relate to your feelings of gender. I used to care a lot about labelling myself as bi, but now I don’t really care and I’m happy just floating about as queer. I’ve found it more comfortable to use she/they pronouns these days but can’t really explain why and I don’t want to have to explain my gender to people. Queer feels like a I’m throwing little challenge to everyone else, like ‘make of this what you will but don’t tell me what you come up with ’

[@Dilton94]

Ok this may be a long one… I’m currently kinda shook. There was a bit in your last part where you said “it’s just Dan” Well I’m also a Daniel (great name) 😂 In my last year or two of school, “It’s just Daniel” was almost my tagline. It would follow me around. For the most part it was very positive. It is basically what got me out of being bullied to any extent because people were like “ah he’s fine, don’t mess with him, he’s just who he is, he’s just Daniel” It did have a downside too though. I didn’t really think about it at the time, but later I would look back and realise that it was so kinda flippant that it had the connotations of ‘he doesn’t matter’. Not that I’m saying that bit’s the same with you or anything. I just find it fascinating that I had that phrase banded around so much and now I’ve heard you use the exact same phrase! It kinda leapt out the screen at me! 😂 But yeah. Cool 😅😂 But also gotta say that I’m pleased for you having found someone, I second what others have said in that I did a wee “whoop” and a “d’awww” :’)

[@matildafuidge1492]

this was a wonderful video :) thanks for the lovely catch up. found myself relating to so much of what you said in this, so thank you dan for helping me feel a little less alone today 🥰 it’s good to see you happy!

[@anna-maymoon1001]

Honestly for me as a casual lurker, I'm cool just knowing you're happy in a relationship, that's my scratch itched :) I love hanging out with you, often painting my nails (currently shaping them; crystal nail file - absolute game changer omg) Anyway glad you're doing well :) I also enjoy boiled spiced piss 👌 it's only weird if you make it weird 🤣

[@annesbookishcorner]

I don't think I've ever commented before, but I've been watching your videos on and off for years (and occasionally comfort binge the Baking with Layton vids when I'm feeling stressed). I just wanted to say that it's so nice to see you look so happy and calm (I might've done an actual little gasp when you mentioned your girlfriend). I've always thought you're incredibly talented and I hope you're acting dream may still come true!

[@Pencliff]

I'm so happy for you, finally living that Bridget life you deserve

[@holycrocs3670]

10:45 me too!!! My pronouns aren't in any of my bios or email signatures, not because I'm a turf but because I'm not sure I know what I want people to refer to me as!

[@layanmukhtar8080]

You are my comfort watch.

[@lifeasnikki]

this video makes me so happy and I'm so happy for you

[@WaistHighView]

Good chat! On the talk about dreams and the future - I have been trying disregard timelines for 'success' completely. I've done some really cool stuff over the years, that younger-me would have died to do, but it doesn't ever feel good enough because I'm constantly looking ahead. Aspirations and big goals are great, and I'm glad I'm working towards them, but I'm trying to get comfortable with the idea that there isn't a rush/deadline for me to get there. If it takes me another 20 years to work on a feature so be it, as long as I get to do some cool stuff along the way (and you know, have work that ensures I can buy food).

[@rockymaxwell]

This was nice and cozy. Just so nice and so cozy. It's real. It's right.

[@chazbalfour]

i’m at drama school in Guildford atm on a Musical Theatre Foundation course and auditioning in the new year for BA courses :) if u ever want to chat about what that’s like (incase u decide to go down that route) i’m more than happy to discuss!

[@john7137]

I like whatever you do. Onward!