A Filipina Tragedy: Back To Zero

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

See this week's most interesting comments/questions here.. www.youtube.com/@Lifebeyondthesea/community -- Get a Quote on Expat Health Insurance.. bit.ly/expat-insurance-LBTSea -- How I send Money to the Philippines.. remit.ly/1amhoix -- Loctote Flak Sack Ⅱ - Anti Theft Backpack.. amzn.to/3tXuBDk -- The Only Filipina Dating Site I recommend.. bit.ly/christian-filipina-dating View My Videos by Category here.. bit.ly/reekays-video-playlists My Twitter.. twitter.com/lifebeyondsea My New Heaven & Earth Podcast Channel. (theology) kzbin.info More at www.lifebeyondthesea.com If you find my content helpful, I appreciate the support. bit.ly/thanks-reekay-lifebeyondthesea Reach me at; facebook.com/reekay.new JOIN as a Member to get exclusive videos not shared on the main channel! bit.ly/JOIN-Reekays-LifeBeyondTheSea _____________________________________________________________________ This channel contains affiliate links that support the channel at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support! Some music may be provided by; KZbin Audio Library Wondershare/Filmora Audio Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on audionautix.com

[@raygalles2517]

Yes, if you don't trust your wife, why did you marry her? Thank you for being a realist.

[@ST-TV]

Most men, let alone older men do not actually think about why they are getting married. They have just been conditioned in that it's the right think to do. Most of them have never bothered to ask why, or what are the alternatives.

[@ppumpkin3282]

Like women, men have been conditioned to get married. Some how we think that once you tie the knot every one will do the right things. The problem is most people don't change. @@ST-TV

[@michaelbond4239]

I can’t believe you ask that silly question. Answer: because the woman you married is not the woman you divorced. Some play the long game, some change when they become to comfortable or hold you in contempt because you have no spine to stand your ground and remind who is the head. Many reasons.

[@robkal56]

I would recommend, after a number of discussions, when you feel relatively confident she understands the steps you've taught her, that SHE write down instructions for her to follow for various scenarios (e.g. serious hospitalization, death). She will be distraught and not remembering so well, so put in her own words (in English or her language or both) it will help her execute the directions you have taught. The documents may be reviewed/updated/improved as necessary. Depending on the sensitivity of the documents, you may want to keep them in a safe place.

[@timotearochford3186]

@@robkal56 I educate myself before I unite myself with him in the US, learn to speak better english, read books or some good novels so I become aware especially the conversational english. It is also better if you have good college education and self learning really helps. Reading and pay attention to how statement in conversation delivers and how do you understand the tone of the words in place that really helps in communicating between the wife and the foreign husband. I study myself buy books in book store or renting in the library. You can not stop learning though you have some college degree, everyday is a learning process, as somebody says, you are dead if you stop learning.

[@timotearochford3186]

@@robkal56 now modern technology is on the process so even if already retiring you have to adapt to learn the modern technology so you wont behind in the learning technology like ( the internet, online banking or the other means of communication. Really I am not very much experience of all those technologies but everyday you h

[@timotearochford3186]

Much experience of that thing but at least I tried my best

[@JohnTanquary]

"Tragedy" is apt. What a cautionary tale of woe this was.

[@scottdunbar6807]

I would say that if you have a good financial advisor in the United States, perhaps setting up a trust and arranging monthly payments after you die, might be the way to do it, my fear of putting a lump sum there is some people can’t say no to relatives and friends, and if they knew you had a lump sum of money that might go away, I think it would be better to set up a trust where a monthly payment is established. The money continues to grow in the investment tool that you have set up at home and theoretically if you follow the 4% rule she should never run out of money.

[@ralphmb58]

This is good advice, I'll have to explore this option. I love and trust my fiance completely and yet I recognize that she is not a good manager of her finances. With no ill intentions she does manage to use up whatever resources that she has available fairly quickly. And she does have a big heart and finds it difficult to refuse a family member's request for some assistance. The best way to handle that now and in the future is to have a set allowance that will continue to come in for her after I would be gone.

[@say1706n]

I second that.

[@1clkvideos140]

Yes, I have to agree that many Filipinas are not (and likely cannot be) good managers of their money - and that even the best-laid financial plans (which leave her a lump sum) will end in disaster due to the family members and relatives that will have never-ending ‘needs’/emergencies until the well runs dry. I do not say this to belittle them in any way - I say this because most of them have not received any formal training on handling money, they haven’t had much to work with, and their skills are honed toward just trying not to run out of money before next Saturday (payday for most in the Philippines). This is not an excuse for not making an attempt to help your Filipina learn money management- it is simply a recognition that she may actually be far better off if you can set things up for her to receive automatic payments as opposed to a lump sum. And, whatever you do - as Reekay said, don’t become worth more dead than alive - as much as you want to believe that you’ve found the right woman, etc., do you really want to test it? I believed that I had the right woman - but I saw a whole different side of her at and after our divorce. Another strange idea - I saw this on a recent Filipina Pea video: the guy made a prenup with his Filipina that outlined that she would receive something like 20% of his net worth after 5 years of marriage (even if she leaves him), 40%@10 years - and 100% upon his death (if they’re still together. WELL, I believe in providing for a partner to within my ability to do so - but, I don’t think I want to incentivize someone to hasten my demise - or to reward them with 40% of my net worth if they decide to leave me when I’m old/frail and I might need those assets. To be sure, we need to do something for our partners - it’s only fair - but we have to be smart and protect ourselves FIRST. After all, we are the one who earned our money/ benefits. Let’s not forget that…

[@oahuguy3918]

This is sound advice. Especially if you leave her with a significant amount. I would want to make sure it was a fiduciary advisor that she has established a connection with.

[@JohnS-zq8ks]

Exactly right! Yes, I posted above about whether trusts could be created in PH. If not, I'd have my trust in the US fund her. There are so many concerns, especially if there are children. Once big concern is to protect her money from a future husband, who could marry her for this money and most likely get it. Then, both she and the children are screwed. A trust is the best alternative.

[@benwillys5503]

Excellent advice! Thanks Reekay 👍

[@thelonelyman-lz8fz]

Good advice. Wherever you are.

[@jonathanhart2459]

A world without Reekay would be a sad sad world so here’s to 50 plus more years my friend !!! 😁 🍻

[@Philippine-dream]

My Love does not want to discuss but gonna have a serious talk since I'm here to stay and we're engaged. How could someone not think about these things. She's giving me her youth and love, no way I don't have a plan for her ❤

[@roythomas9376]

OMG 😱. I had NO IDEA my child in retirement could get half of my Social Security payments while I’m alive and up to 80% after I’m dead until the child in 18+ years old. That fact is a game changer!!! I’ve spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes and feel no guilt having U.S. Social Security pay a dependent child. Thank you Reekay. Is this common knowledge among Filipina women? I can see why they want U.S. expats on SS. That revenue stream is worth a small fortune.

[@johnlacey3857]

HALF? Really?

[@mantistoboggan7228]

This is a problem in the Armed Services too. Too many servicemembers fail to make a will, arrangements, etc. even to their American wives, let alone women they marry in/from the Philippines, Italy, Japan, Guam, etc. But frankly for a man who was this old and had been a successful businessman overseas, its baffling he didn't make the moves to make sure she and his kids weren't left in the lurch.

[@timotearochford3186]

@@mantistoboggan7228 thats true too. I am living in the US for 24 years with my husband so I’m aware that there are some men that are not doing it, but i think they are just miss those planning method for the good future of their love ones.

[@MarcRichard-b1u]

Thanks Reekay…you are always the voice of reason….

[@zapper347]

Hello Rekay. I plan to visit the Philippines summer 2025. How can I contact you before I go?

[@russellzigler2180]

Thank you for this video, it's very wise for expats to follow your advice, it will make things easy on your wife and your kids if you have any.

[@3111272005]

Another great podcast with some great useable Information. Thanks.

[@davidamaya2408]

Wonderful and beautiful advice. Thank you for sharing

[@Teddy-tx7wb]

my Filipina and I still live in the US. and we got an index fund tied to a life insurance policy. so in our later years, we can borrow against our accumulated fund, at like 4% and when we die the insurance policy pays off any remaining balance, and the remainder goes to our beneficiary. additionally, I'll have a US address (maybe a brother) to get my social security payments and even after I"m dead, she will get SOC SEC. so she can retire back in the Philippines and be OK. We are also looking at her buying land and house in Phils.

[@ByronWatts]

Be DAMNED SURE that you have a legally signed will in place and that SOMEBODY knows exactly where it is. Not everyone has done this. Life Insurance might be useful but if there are any assets, a WILL makes a huge difference. A friend of mine just died and it appears that he had not yet signed his will, leaving his Filipina penniless. Don't do that.

[@daltonwin46]

Great advice and the woman deserves all financial benefits she has sacrificed desire of a younger man for security with an older so she has rendered her youth for the guy so he needs to do the right thing

[@n.manasseh8615]

Thanks for this Video and for keep us on point !!!

[@dfoster6828]

Excellent life guidance ❤❤❤👍🏽💯

[@timotearochford3186]

Hello Reekay, you know what i always follow your vlog on facebook, and the way you planned your life here in the philippines with your wife is amazing because you supported your wife to let her learned to plan in life in the end you’re no longer available in case of death. I salute you being that person. In fact i remembered my husband while he was still alive to support me to the best of his ability for me to learn while we were still together. I am proud of men like that. Well I’m sorry to say some don’t have that kind of support to their wife or just missing the best way of planning their life, especially for the good life of Pinay when you’re not around forever. I was very much thankful of my husband and very much grateful of his supported ways that I have learned from him until today. He was my destined man, the will of God, my soulmate, unfortunately he passed away in 2015. So now I’ m back to the country philippines where i thought I belonged to, and live alone but not lonely.

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

i am glad you had such a good man in your life. he obviously made a lasting, good, impression with you. and yes, living alone is not the same as 'being lonely'. it is the sign of a secure person.

[@patrickclark9156]

Good stuff Reekay

[@enriquesoul5370]

Great informative video Sir Reekay.

[@MichaelLedlow-tu3ip]

Life changes with ever step

[@chrisplatt3869]

Great advice love this one important you take care of her thats what men are supposed to do

[@garyt7232]

Great that you communicated with Ve what do do when the day comes when you are no longer here. Wonder how many guys have this talk with their spouse?

[@56phil020244]

I like your plan.

[@themacker894]

Being worth more alive than dead is wise for anyone, especially someone in a new relationship. I've seen the financial side of things handled in a prenup with certain assets becoming "community property" at milestones of marriage, i.e., year 5, year 10, etc. Seems fair to me. That way you can share how to access such assets on a time table.

[@sayian2k]

Bruh that was a sad. I feel for her and people thars going through that tragedy and transition. Thank you for sharing your plans im in my 30s and not married so I haven't thought about that kind of stuff yet. Appreciate you 💯

[@michaelnitsch4431]

you are right its called love!

[@garydavis9887]

thx ! good video !

[@gibblespascack1418]

If you have a son or daughter in the US(no matter how old), you will need to train them on how to use, save and invest money too. Don't leave that concept out of the training of your children. Some day you may be too old, or incapacitated to the point where you can no longer run your own finances or portfolio. they will have to take care of that until you pass so that you will not be just poor and old in the last years of your retirement. My grandmother went though this for 5 years before she pass. Now that my Mom is 85, I know that there will be a point where she can't handle finances. I see it coming. But it will happen to you. So if you are planning on a having a Filipina wife or companion, you need to train her too.

[@clydesmith3437]

Yeah I agree another good video

[@andysnyder4603]

I'm blessed. My Filipina American wife is better with money than I am. We talk about this quite a bit but at the beginning she didn't because the way she was raised. I'm retired military of 30 years and I set up the Survivors Benefit Plan for her upon that retirement. She works and will draw Social Security off of my Social Security within 5 years or so and take mine over if I die first. We have several other pots of money salted away so if really is a cautionary tale of share this information if you REALLY LOVE your spouse. Don't do what this expat did!

[@mrb-6118]

There is one more thing that requires some attention. Safeguarding the funds that you have left her from the family. Not long after you pass they will come to get their cut. Down to the third cousins. Most Filipinos are indoctrinated from birth with the "Family First" doctrine. Any windfall that comes to a family member will be distributed amongst the family. The more senior the member , the larger the cut.

[@stevemorris3544]

That being the case, I think it's safer to have a trust as described above from a fellow listener. Monthly income comes in to take care of her in her name and the family can stay off to the side unless she decides to give them some. Avoids many pitfalls if she is not able to handle, manage, invest, be tricked out of, loans that are never paid back, start a business that fails from access to a large sum of cash.

[@Murph_.]

I live in the USA with my Filipina wife. However, we lived in the Philippines for a while. I didn't like the heat, so we moved to Baguio and we were very happy there. The only reason we ended up in the USA was because I had issues with my property there with my ex wife. My lawyer advised me that, unless I'm living there, she can have me sell it and split the profits. So I moved back and brought my wife with me. When we first got married, I set up everything to make it easy for her to take care of everything. Even now, she knows there is a file on my computer that she needs to open and just follow the directions. To be honest, she has thrived in the USA, and won't NEED everything I have set up... but it won't hurt, especially if she decides to move back to the Philippines. Everything is spelled out clearly and we've gone over it so I know she understands. She hates talking about this stuff, because she doesn't want me to die. But I told her, when you married me, you knew I was much older and it was very likely I'd die first, so you need to be prepared.

[@timotearochford3186]

@@Murph_. most pinay i think is in denial to accept that our lives here on earth is numbered , no matter what, we need the acceptance, the reality of our life, yes if discuss these things to other people they usually respond ( sima

[@timotearochford3186]

(Correction please) usually respond ( simbako), denial in accepting the real truth of our lives. Some people are not really mature to accept the reality of the journey of our lives,

[@Atreyu1492]

The American Services Section of the Embassy is the place to register the baby. Once U.S. citizenship is established, then work on getting a social security number. Process gets more difficult as the baby grows up. One friend waited until the son was 16 years old, he had to fill out a six page form.

[@ralphmb58]

Back to zero is a good way to put it. However if you have a child together then really she will be worse off after you're gone with that added responsibility unless provision is made.

[@dtellulater4544]

My concern would be the family taking the money from her. Wouldn't it be wise to go to a lawyer to set up a trust, from which the wife can recieve an allowance each month?

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

yes, that would work.

[@rodrigo1965]

I’m getting 4.50 APY in my savings account but investing makes more money depending, good advice for sure, thanks for sharing

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

Glad it was helpful!

[@damienbates]

Btw lawyer on Filipina Pea mentioned that you can get a lawyer to draft A prenuptial agreement and forced the sale of the house/property upon a divorce/break up. I believe it was when you divorce, your Filipina and your home country

[@ST-TV]

Easy and clearly the best soution for this problem is..... Drum roll.......... DON'T GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!

[@BelusTraveller]

Yes, Do not buy a home two to Three years, Seen it happen many times, Waited 3 years together 5, You can always do a living trust as well,

[@oahuguy3918]

If you wait until your in your 70's it could be too late. Whatever your financial plan is, you need to get your Filipina involved now, especially if she's your wife. If anyone can attest to this, it's Reekay, who recently had a run of bad luck with his health - well you could say it was good luck the way it turned out, but you get the picture.

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

"you never know." :)

[@pugster73]

Buying Life Insurance is not so bad. For me, I have kids and have my kids help me with dividing my assets and she gets no life insurance money.

[@bonditltd5346]

That guy sounds quite negligent

[@Happyguy23544]

Thank you for the incredibly informative videos. I like your idea of leaving a house for your wife. What do you think about purchasing a condo in a building where you could actually have ownership, and then leaving that to your wife? Thanks! Noah H

[@davidarview2930]

I've got a story for you!!! I've been scammed to come to America by a wife I married in the Philippines Support her and her family there for 9 years then got her here. She's only here for the money. Divorce soon. Had nothing to do with me and my family over here. Threatened to kill me 3 times. Hit me once. She's gone now

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

oh dang.

[@mrdayyumyum3712]

There should be a required class before marriage the teaches the legal consequences you take on when you marry and /or divorce. No wonder people don't want to get a legal marriage.

[@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x]

I’ve never enjoyed investing except real estate, compared to a great financial advisor. I would be inclined to prenup all of it (401K) but then after local real estate, assuming things are solid, put her name on the dependent line (or via trust) should I pass. Which we all do! Hopefully not encouraging that to be sooner than later 😂 That dude with children was beyond irresponsible and I think (sorry to speak ill of the dead) negligent and cruel.

[@StrifeDaWize]

Its sad, but it sounds like this guy was a fool, it seems like all he cared a bout was spending his last days with a beautiful young woman, which is something i just cant get behind. No offense to him RIP, but the least you can do when you that old is secure a future for your wife and your child

[@imthinking9760]

I have my money in a (living) trust. It is better than a will, since it avoids the courts (probate), and associated court and attorney fees. Can easily be changed at any time while you are still living.

[@benfernkay8974]

This is one subject i do not agree on,,, if the filipina who ever she is, never lived in the USA , even if she had a child, should not get a persons social security, social security is for people who WORKED in the USA. and child BORN in the USA,, then i would say ok, and i am sure many are subject and taking advantage of this situation. The filipina knows her livelihood there , she can adapt of the man is dead. if she never had anything then she still in the same position, and the foreigner should have set her up before hand , not with social security,,,

[@rlwings]

She'd still have to go to probate to acquire the rest of your estate. And if you die sooner than later, before you've given her much money, it could be most of it.

[@jeffmccord575]

I did the consular report of birth with both my children and US passports within a few weeks of birth. The hard part about your friend's wife and kids is the Green card visa. I did mine in South Korea, but imagine the Philippines is a similar ordeal. Two forms and people that can attest that the man and woman are married. Forms are expensive, several hundred dollars and show proof that you can support family so that she or they will not become a burden on the State. Not registratinn the the child just adds another hoop to jump through. Had I not done the US report of birth in Korea I would have been stuck. No birth certificate and hospital document has no info on father and child's name. The family registry only has the Korean family names. Foreigners and not listed. Makes the Korean mother look like a single mom. Once getting to US was tough to show my wife was the mother our children since Korean women keep their surnames after marriage. After she gained naturalized citizenship she was offered the option of changing her name which to my surprise she did. So if at least for the SSI Getting the paperwork and residency taken care of ASAP. Residency requirement for green card holder is must be in US territory or state 1 day per year. So for Asia Guam qualifies as US territory.

[@ranctil3]

I would suggest it's very irresponsible not to plan future support for your partner if your 10/20/30 years older than her. We walk a thin line between life and death and there are no guarantees we will be around tomorrow.

[@charlesHUECKSTAEDT-e8p]

IF THE WIDOW WAS IN NEWYORK , SHE WOULD GET A $10,000 USD DEBIT CARD ! + FREE FOOD & MEDICAL CARE !

[@jbrown8601]

And a motor scooter

[@ppumpkin3282]

And guaranteed housing@@jbrown8601

[@BelusTraveller]

Bammmmm, Ya good point, Ha ha ya a motor scooter to join a Scooter gang

[@Ron-oe7hg]

😢😢😢

[@lilfairycupcake]

best bet is to never get married in the first place.

[@franktaylor7617]

😎👍🇺🇲 "Words of wisdom Loyd, words ooofff wiiiissdom." Jack Nickelson , The Shinning. 😏

[@tongso2584]

😀😀

[@Zulethe992]

Set up an annuity with survivorship if you can. That way you can enjoy the money when you’re alive and your wife will have some as well.

[@catsupchutney]

If everyone thought ahead clearly about the ramifications of marrying and having children, the human race would go extinct. Awful how that poor young woman was left in the lurch. As to the life insurance, a decent local attorney can keep that information on file (if you go that route).

[@RichGPilot]

Your narratives are great but these AI generated Filipina pics are quite repetitive and getting old. You look good on camera. Why not mix it up a bit?

[@rayrous8229]

I would avoid crypto currency myself. But that life insurance point is more scary. I could be worth more dead than alive. There's risk and benefit to every choice.

[@matthewharrigan3568]

Is it rare for expats to have significant retirement balances? I dont hear it talled about on PH channels.

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

i have no data on that. but going by my many acquaintences over the last 12 years, i'd say about 20% would be considered "well off" by anyone's standard. the majority i've met are doing "okay", middle range. with maybe 10% running on a micro-budget, barely getting by.

[@matthewharrigan3568]

@@Lifebeyondthesea does well off mean you need a few million in retirement accounts? Or just a large pension/SS?

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

i would define, "well off" as having more than $6,000usd/month income and over $500k in savings or investments. average would be about $1500usd/month with about $20k in savings or credit available. microbudget would be less than $800usd/month with zero in savings.

[@matthewharrigan3568]

@Lifebeyondthesea I need to completely recalibrate what well off means. I'm in the US, so I think it's a net worth of 5 million minimum

[@dt-4535]

Why not buy a house with your wife the first month after marriage,? You asked, why would you marry her if you don't trust her? Every marriage is different, some can be trusted and some can't, some people marry for diffrent reasons. My friend trusted his wife and she killed him. I'm just saying it's case by case

[@PhilCherry3]

I would establish a trust stateside with the children named as beneficiaries. I would have the trust managed by a reputable trustee (law or financial firm) with strict instructions as to how the widow is to receive a monthly stipend & at what age/milestones the children are to receive substantial control of the trust. I would make sure each child is registered as my child within the social security administration. That alone would by my widow 15 years or more to redefine life after I’m gone or to complete the life vision she and I worked out for our children. The professionally managed trust would serve as an insurance policy against members of her extended family attempting to slowly drain the assets I intended to leave the children.

[@JohnS-zq8ks]

If I live there with a wife, possibly children, can I create a revocable trust and will. The will would give her some stuff, but largely pour into the revocable trust. This trust would become irrevocable at my death and could name a third party, other than my wife, as trustee. This professional fiduciary (trustee) would be able to competently manager her financial affairs, so that she (and possibly the children) would have help. I could sleep knowing that she and the kids, if any, would be cared for and that some swindler wouldn't have an incentive to marry her and try to get her money. Are trusts allowed under laws in PH?

[@oneegyptianpharaoh2798]

Actually I don't agree with most of what you said. The expat you have mentioned is an exception. I ask you just one question. Do you think your wife will be the same woman if you live until you are 90+ or even 100+? People live to this age these days. We're all human my dear friend. People change. If you exceed 90 of age. You'll not be the same wise man. You'll have a brain of a child. I teenager will be able to deceive you very easily! Be careful please.

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

people change. so don't bother with planning for the future? that makes no sense.

[@dlewis9760]

My dad died of dementia at 82. He had the mind of a child for the last 6 years. My mom died at 93. I earned a 6 figure income US as a software engineer. Up until when my mom ended up in a nursing home because of cancer at 92, she could run circles around me intellectually. Her last 7 months was being drugged up with pain killers that would have killed a junkie. What would you suggest then? You assume people change to the worse. That's not true either. If you get older, sometimes you realize that the finish line is a lot closer than the beginning and you become a nicer person.

[@Jim.Greene]

I'm not sure having money invested in crypto is a good plan for setting up your widow. We know the potential of bitcoin, but it is speculative. Putin could start firing nuclear missiles at Ukraine, sending crypto into another winter, to name one possible crisis. Property would be a safer asset class (for the puposes of setting up the wife). We bought land in my wife's province town in 2016, at 400 pesos per sqm. It is now worth 2000 pesos I gather. And it gives my wife peace of mind. Take care.

[@ochenhetree]

You should have a will if your above 55

[@ST-TV]

If you filipina is a benefitiary, that is just an incentive for her to want you dead. Don't do it. Never give ANYONE who you are with and incentive to leave you, let alone kill you. Should be common sense, sadly it's not.

[@mediamilitia7572]

Best advice is to open a business that you know will make money and teach your wife and her family to maintain it, got it!

[@DanielMiramontes-q1b]

Hahaha All that tells is that, you don't trust your Phillipinas

[@rjmorgan2098]

Why would you withhold the name of dead person?? This is ridiculous!!!

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

you have a strange definition of 'ridiculous'. in the first place, knowing his name does not change the lesson to be learned. in the 2nd place... before you come to the PH, learn the national laws regarding publishing anything derogatory to anyone's reputation... even after they've passed away. (the widow could make a claim.) 'needing' the man's name.. now that is ridiculous. you missed the entire point over that.

[@davidlowery8601]

I wouldn't put the house 100% in her name until at least 7 years of good marriage.but I agree wit the rest.