A language where you touch grass (Agma Schwa Cursed Conlang Circus)

[@LingoLizard]

Some notes about the sample section: The whole thing is heavily cut and edited, obviously, and is at 2x speed, so if you wanna see a more accurate sample, watch it at 0.5x speed. Secondly, the hat I wear is a Colorado hat, which I believe would be worn by people who go outside because 1. Colorado is the US state with the most outdoorsy residents and 2. The hat basically says co (for Colorado), resembling cỏ, the Vietnamese word for grass! Whenever the hat is on the floor, that represents the “hairy” tone, and whenever picked up, replaces being bald (I have hair and would like to keep it.)

[@QuizmasterLaw]

no one would ever invent a conlang based on something so ridiculous as recurrent homophones and homonyms relying on a pictographic writing system and rigid grammar to disambiguate it

[@mil87_]

As a Coloradan, I can indeed confirm that I have touched grass at least once.

[@the_linguist_ll]

Ah, the hardest language for a conlanger to speak

[@iscrampad2194]

Hardest language to learn as a league of legends player…

[@zasproductions9258]

@@iscrampad2194more like an average Discord mod

[@aidungeon2591]

hardes langauge to len as a moba playa@@iscrampad2194

[@chitsein4133]

ÆYĪ PËRUẞK

[@ReatExists]

or gamers, or average internet users, or martians

[@wrenisprobablyb0red]

I have a Greenlandic accent when I speak this language. I touch rocks.

[@tobithesergal]

Rocks? Greenland? Sounds like a dwarf to me

[@Ravioli638]

Rock and stone!

[@the_linguist_ll]

I can imagine old speakers complaining that wearing a hat is 'lazy' compared to shaving / growing hair, and that young speakers own pocket sized cuts of turf

[@EchoLog]

If mustaches, masks, makeup, and other head-things count, dialects must be wild.

[@oriscomapping1565]

As a member of the leg hair dialect, I can confirm

[@MalachiCo0]

And then I would accuse them of LARPing as an old person and then tell them to touch grass

[@AgmaSchwa]

I see, the Secret-Handshake Vietnamese creole has entered the ring, legendary

[@thegoldendragonacs]

I also want people to know that the sample was close to 40 minutes of raw footage that needed to be cut down massively.

[@1Dr490n]

3 minutes of a guy sitting in the grass, hitting it and taking his hat on and off. Really good content.

[@newdmitrij201]

passersby probably thought you were beating up grass and then throw your hat

[@cmyk8964]

“You know, like in Vötgil” This activated my startle response and fight-or-flight response

[@rainbowlack]

Were you a bit excited?

[@janmusi]

@@rainbowlack he was ready to fight

[@DavidCowie2022]

Between Touching Grass and Kaybop(f) we now have two conlangs with phonemic hats. What a time to be alive!

[@newdmitrij201]

except in kay(f)bop(t) you don't speak without hats

[@kjl3080]

Oh god there's two of them now

[@hiraunia]

If i had a nickel for everytime there was a conlang that involved hats in communication I'd have two nickels; which isn't alot but its weird that it happened twice

[@haXXiGD]

YES

[@AkashWShah]

I like how, since we are not shown and it is not known whether lingo lizard is bald or not, the example could either be the introduction to the bee movie or complete nonsense.

[@kklein]

for important context, are you originally bald or do you have hair? because that dramatically changes the signs you're using throughout the video. other than that, great tutorial, thx! I've been wanting to touch grass for a while and this video really helped me do that

[@MinpikuWasTaken]

I like this conlang, because it gives a reason for conlangers to go outside 🙂

[@YuanAurion]

Imagine bringing a tiny pot of grass with you everywhere to communicate

[@_juliakp1_]

i am trying SO HARD not to burst out laughing in the middle of a dead quiet lecture this is surreal good

[@rasmusn.e.m1064]

Finally a language that pandas might speak accidentally from time to time. Bamboo is a grass after all.

[@Indian_Gamer_PSS]

r/woosh

[@rasmusn.e.m1064]

@@Indian_Gamer_PSS how is that a woosh? are we experiencing a meta-woosh rn?

[@haXXiGD]

imagine if you were a native speaker and you just walk by a panda and it says "fuck you"

[@paulamarina04]

we just got canon confirmation lingolizard is not bald

[@ValkyRiver]

I would love to see a “choreographic sign(con)lang” where the “phonemes” or “morphemes” are dance moves 🕺

[@edwinkjellzahn]

I know there’s a couple dance styles in India that do something like that, but I don’t remember what it’s called, although I’m pretty sure it has to do with Mudras, which are hand or full body gestures in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Janism.

[@Sonilotos]

So basically what bees do lol

[@Eic-L]

The same person who made a writing system for sign languages also made one for choreographies

[@mariusvr]

It would be pretty ironic if this guy got stung by a bee while signaling the intro for bee movie. Thankfully that didn't happen

[@SirQuickenn]

this should be an international language

[@shwabb1]

When aliens come to Earth, this will be the language we will use to communicate

[@Afrologist]

Technically speaking, by reskinning Vietnamese grammar & syntax this is a form of Vietnamese Sign Language that's actually closer to Vietnamese than actual Vietnamese Sign Language.

[@tentathesane8032]

vietnam should officially adopt it then

[@Woistwahrheit]

I would die if they used this 😳

[@randomserb761]

This is not a form of Vietnamese Sign Language, even though it's an artificial sign language based on Vietnamese.

[@hiraunia]

​@@randomserb761Its not a good form of Vietnamese sign language

[@randomserb761]

@@hiraunia It's not a form of Vietnamese Sign Language - period. VSL is a distinct language, genetically entirely unrelated to Vietnamese. This conlang, which happens to use the hands as articulators (though in a fashion very alien to actual natural sign languages), is based on Vietnamese, not VSL.

[@salamantha5876]

Wow, why is this in my recommendations? Hmm well... It's really curious thanks for this:0

[@TyrellWhitney-h3x]

The hardest language for League of Legends players and Discord mods to learn

[@heyhianxietwo]

my cat used this language to summon back my father, thank you

[@mlewellyn]

Now I have a video to point people to when they look at me disparagingly and/or confusedly after I say it's too much work upon their demand that I touch grass! Thanks!

[@Ro_Gaming]

You know what, just because you described something so preposterous, I will have to do the only thing I can. "No u"

[@lestyebe1369]

Also 100% true, sometimes, touching too much grass, (laying on, rolling around on) causes irritation and itching of the skin.

[@davidroddini1512]

I wanted so badly to learn this language. That is how I found out I am allergic to grass 😭

[@D3NPC]

This being of pure concentrated energy is unstoppable

[@weirdlanguageguy]

I hereby resolve to only speak to any future children I may have in Touching Grass

[@devofficialchannel]

How to speak touching grass Step 1: Go outside and search for grass

[@MinpikuWasTaken]

This channel deserves so much more subscribers just because of this video.

[@lostan3505]

Finally a worth language to learn, maybe my dad will come back

[@TheEternallyconfusedone]

hahahaha. NO

[@pbrown7501]

Fluent speakers would probably choose words poetically so as to minimize placing/removing their hat. Shiny shaved heads or excessively long hair would become status symbols for intellectuals, only to eventually be derided as pretentious.

[@godowskygodowsky1155]

Traditional Vietnamese poetry already has a flat sharp system for its tones. Perhaps you could relex to make it coincide.

[@hmstransit909]

Thanks to this conlang, the trees in Vietnam don't need to speak Vietnamese anymore

[@xymaryai8283]

the finger dependent signing could actually be a quick way of communicating low complexity content really fast... if it wasnt obscured by the grass...

[@dyld921]

Didn't expect to hear you explain my own native language to me, but you did good

[@aliceh5289]

I desperately want to see Agma Schwa sign a couple sentences of this just to see him film himself going outside and punching grass 😂

[@puffyhowler615]

"it is required to be the type of hat worn by people who go outside" DAMN! So my cat ears wont work!

[@Applestripe]

Ah yes, Ancient Vietnamese Sign Language (AVSL)

[@theoh4946]

I haven’t seen anyone else comment on this, but “Y’know, like in Votgil!” hit me like a ton of bricks (in the best way possible) 😂. Genuinely excellent moment, thanks for making me laugh!

[@CalloohCalley]

That some beautiful grass. Sure wish I could... touch it.

[@enochlee3601]

I almost thought this was going to be an already existing language

[@thegoldendragonacs]

TF YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO WEAR A HAT THAT IS WORN BY PEOPLE WHO GO OUTSIDE?!💀

[@MinpikuWasTaken]

Aren't hats like... made for people that go outside????

[@fernit0505]

@@MinpikuWasTaken fedoras

[@psychokineticism]

no fedoras allowed here

[@LinguaPhiliax]

I believe the correct terminology is "fingeme".

[@severalbees5115]

Like any good entrant into the circus, the longer I watch the more it feels like I’m dissociating

[@artiomplay1165]

the conlang we deserve to research

[@dangswan]

Love seeing corruptive aspect get used

[@konokiomomuro7632]

Instruction unclear. Now I have grass in my mouth, and a rancher is trying to push me into a barn. I'll try to speak it tomorrow.

[@_Sparky144]

I'm very happy that Vietnamese is being used for a meme conlang. <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="210">3:30</a> And French too because of colonization or smth. According to Wikipedia, "Ba Lan" is also loaned. <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="326">5:26</a> Corruptive aspect should be a thing in every language.

[@KaroxNightshade]

I actually speak a dialect of this which was adopted to my land after foreign settlers brought it to us. However, due to cultural reasons, we must never be bald. As such, the bald/hairy part of the language has turned into bare/hat, which makes way more sense while still fitting with the shorthand labelling.

[@aliceh5289]

You should've incorporated different lengths of grass that you have to touch into the signs, instead of hair

[@Oler-yx7xj]

That's the steppe dialect

[@tobithesergal]

Hmmmm, so is this just Vietnamese sign language where you have to be bald and unbald while touch grass?

[@herghamoo3242]

Lol, I didn't think I'd see someone manage to make a worse orthography for Vietnamese than the one in use, but here we are

[@godowskygodowsky1155]

I think the current Latin orthography fine. There's near perfect correspondence between sounds and spellings, if you if ignore sound mergers that differ between dialects anyways. It is also generally consistent with other Latin alphabets. I'm pretty sure this is as good as you can get without adding diacritics to Hangul or something.

[@erentoraman2663]

Ah, going for the posteriori catagory arent you

[@kirby_tardigrade]

i only have dead grass, can i still speak this language?

[@imachiller1625]

I hope this video gets a morbillion views

[@EveryWayWorks]

This is It. This is the best language out there. I love how simple and easy to understand it is! Step aside, Toki Pona!

[@rainbowlack]

"touch grass" "sorry I don't speak Vietnamese"

[@computationaltrinitarianism]

Neck beard approaches a woman in the park. He crouches and starts fondling the grass, gets up and tips his fedora then leaves.

[@wattlefox]

looks like a windows product key

[@YusufNasihi]

Someone should check if any great ape species actually communicate like this

[@bacicinvatteneaca]

Inb4 tech CEOs make a machine that lifts and lowers your hat for you based on voice commands, but the microphone picks up your conversations (there's also an infrared camera) to sell your personal data, but someone messed up the coding and switched the balds and haireds around and now all the personal data is garbled and they can't figure out why

[@lelduck6388]

Could’ve had to so instead of hair or bald it was palm or back of the hand facing the grass.

[@alphaaxis64501]

first time anyone will ever say "im allergic to this language"

[@michaeldaconceicao1041]

You did an awesome job creating this conlang .

[@ReirtoRRNTX]

I'm absolutely love this

[@user-kussikh]

Cool, you included the language that I'm relearning

[@user-kussikh]

language where you touch objects in your room?

[@Hampter-m7r]

This is like vietkong's cypher.

[@PlatinumAltaria]

The only thing I have to say about this is that you listed the fingers in reverse order and I hate it.

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

What if you live in a desert with no grass? Can you touch sand instead?

[@substandardnerd]

Probably, but you'd have to deal with something that is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere

[@rainbowlack]

touch cactus (yeouch!)

[@fernit0505]

This is magnificent

[@ViRraava136]

Actually, reduplication makes that word lighter than the original, "nho nhỏ" means "a bit small" not "very small".

[@ilithiophobicimbecile5789]

Loving this tutorial on how to not be understood by LoL players

[@LeafNye]

interesting concept lol

[@francislelievre5172]

but what if a Baboon like alien used this language, sitting communally eating grass? picking grass, some to eat & some as language, while they 'talk'

[@Eksevis]

Lets be honest, absolutely no grass was touched in the process of the creation of this language.

[@reidalyn2328]

I started binging youtube 3 hours ago. How did I go from analysis of Korea's economy to this

[@MrTwostring]

What happens if you touch the carpet instead?

[@the82303]

the only language that i can’t learn 😔

[@Denneth_D.]

Wasn’t surprised when you would do a conlang vid Cursedlangs are hit or miss for me some like Hyperpirate make me wheeze to oblivion and others are a little to unwieldy to remember in my little simian brain Also happy about K Klein diversifying his content (I just think it’s groovy about other things that aren’t Natlangs)

[@danielkover7157]

I'm missing part of my left index finger because of a woodshop accident. Would that be a speech impediment in Touching Grass?

[@nsr-ints]

This is a slight flaw, considering linguists can't touch grass, thus preventing the study of this conlang. Source: Am a conlang.

[@hxghsk]

the earth: keep going I'm almost there, darling

[@SKORPIO_228]

The one language that League of Legends players will never be able to learn…

[@joannasthings]

i love hatonyms!

[@ytuberonyt]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="83">1:23</a> what about a wig

[@yaroslavkolodchenko]

It's so hard though

I imagine that without the hat cheat, people would travel in pairs of one hairy and one bald person and somehow coordinate talking together, without being able to talk to coordinate.

[@justinblin]

Can you still Touch Grass if you use fake grass?

[@I_Love_Learning]

I don't know how Agma Schwa will pronounce this if it wins, so 1/10.

[@thearajin]

"Bees are banned from flying in the air"

[@junodoesworldbuilding2956]

this was funny but the grass made it worse turns out the Juneau Auld Howe is allergic to ahem "turf grass"

[@samuelr007ruiz9]

Could you do a video about Khmer please? ❤

[@kirilvelinov7774]

Cursed Morning Musume conlang! How to talk like Morning Musume Vowel tones Normal(no diacritic) Cute(diacritic above) Angry(diacritic below) Consonants For normal vowels For cute vowels(half pulmonic) For angry vowels(double pulmonic) Normal=grown woman Cute=smiling child Angry=whining child,scream Orthography:too many letters

[@Ballacha]

so... amputees, how do they learn this fantastic language?

[@rainbowlack]

foot 🦶

[@orcagamerAus]

I’m learning this language 🗿🗿🗿

[@nicefighter]

was the vietnamese translation of the bee movie excerpt taken from an actual vietnamese dub of the bee movie or did you translate that yourself?

[@seeexy]

situation ships 🚢 yellow 💛 super down. <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="52">0:52</a>

[@Garfield_Minecraft]

đi chạm cỏ!