A LIFE OF A WHEELCHAIR USER: What is ABLEISM?!

Ableism: Ableism is discrimination and social prejudice against people with disabilities or who are perceived to have disabilities. Ableism characterizes persons as defined by their disabilities and as inferior to the non-disabled.
Since this month is Spinal Cord Injury Awareness (SCI) I figured I would do a collaboration with Maria (@MariaRabaino) and talk a little about things we deal with living with a SCI. Remember, this video is not to shame anyone, only to bring light to what we deal with on a weekly basis.
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[@hannadant138]

Hi girls!! I totally get what you are saying here, especially when you talked about able bodied people taking roles from our community in the entertainment industry. I am in a wheelchair and have been for 7 years now. I am also an aspiring actress. My goal is to change the way the industry views our community and show a true authentic depiction of someone like us.

[@CloverRose]

The book/movie Me Before You is a good example of ableism. There's a man who becomes a quad and immediately his life is over. A woman is hired to be his support worker and she falls in love with him. The whole thing feels like: *This woman fell for a poor disabled man. How wonderful she is for loving someone like that.* In the end the man gets himself euthanized because he can't handle this horrible life in which he can feel no happiness or joy because he's disabled. That book is horrible and the movie isn't much better

[@fragjijreiosgeriota7509]

I can’t stop laughing at what a silly fake ‘feel good’ stereotype/ falsehood this concept is. What about men falling in love with a disabled woman? Never seems to happen unless they want us for our money or they assume we are so low self-esteem we will never call out their cheating or emotional abuse of us. Call me when Hollywood has a single interesting movie idea about a disabled person. Until then I’ll be listening to Outlawz and telling myself society must agree with God that I’m too pretty to work 😂

[@williambayh1574]

Like a dog or a horse sense fear, so do a lot of us. Forty years a quad: twenty in a rigid manual and twenty years in power wheelchairs. When folks offer help and I can use some, I'll always accept a hand. They feel good about themselves and I feel good to see so many kinds and attentive people are around us all. Carry yourself with a smile and thank the Lord for what you have!

[@UniqueSnow]

What I’ve come to realize is that most people in no way think I can’t do things they just immediately assess the situation and realize that what would be nothing for them will be much harder for me so they take a moment of their time and do whatever it is then they go about there day being more thankful of the little things in life I see this because even when my big strong boyfriend is with me another man or often an able bodied 80 year old will jump to open a door for us because they are kind and because they can The fact that my mobility issues bring out the kindness in so many strangers shows me the world is a better place than I knew It makes me think that in some small way I am helping people appreciate their lives (I once was an able bodied person who noticed people in wheelchairs but wasn’t sure what the protocol was so I didn’t do anything unless I was asked) Seeing me seems to bring out the kindness in a lot of people How can that be a bad thing!?

[@Jaggededge112]

I don't think they mean all of it is a bad thing. I do appreciate help, and yes there are a ton of good people that want to help. Unfortunately there are people that will not take no for an answer, oh and people just grabbing your wheelchair without asking is not good. As with all things we have to good and the bad. I think the good mostly outweighs the bad.

[@karrot_gaming]

I cried through this to know I'm not alone. Thank you, girls, for this video

[@FlipMacz]

Maria! Woe! I saw the vid you made w/Robert! (W2W). Really inspire me. Ty🌿

[@Hi_Felisha]

Every point I kept saying “yes yes yes!!!” Thank you for making this video on this topic! The most important thing I always reiterate is for abled bodies to listen. I don’t mind people asking if I need help but I do mind when people insist when I say “no thank you” 💕💕

[@katinareid3165]

Great and informative video. I have to say I have used the bathroom that was for disabled people just because it is bigger but because you educated me I won’t if other bathrooms are available. You are inspiring. You rock Chelsea!

[@fragjijreiosgeriota7509]

I don’t mind I assume the other bathrooms are taken or the person has a mental disability that makes them behave peculiarly

[@BlueDiamondStar]

This is a great video. I learned a lot. Not just the point of view but also what other people shouldn’t just jump to do. Actually there was this one show, early 00’s called Dark Angel where one of main characters was in a wheelchair and they did it all so organically I felt like as a small child I was learning to see and accept people like that and never see them as something weird or stuff. And the show was great in that meaning because everyone there was a “misfit” of some sort and it taught me so much. Also I’m introvert person so I’m not one to reach out to people to help because it scares me, I avoid human contact as much as possible only allowing close friends. But yeah, just wanted to add my two cents, hope my thoughts came out right, not a native English speaker so.. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Anyway have a great day.

[@karengallimore2016]

Yes, being fairly new to the disable community I can totally relate. I don't like to ask for help at all and at all cost I will attempt to do things that I shouldn't be doing because I'm a fall risk. I do like you both, appreciate the offer to help but I also treasure what independence that I have left.

[@brendaobey517]

I want to thank you all so much for that video that you shared. I am a spinal cord injured woman, I've been this way ever since I was 6 months old I had a fall down a fight of stairs but I do still have my feelings from head to toe and I'm doing a lot of things that's on my bucket list I appreciate y'all thank you so much for listening to me I haven't figured out how to put my picture here on KZbin but I am on Instagram

[@fragjijreiosgeriota7509]

I’m sorry you have a spinal cord injury. I’m interested in knowing what kind of health care you had and your journey with getting through life despite your incredible challenges. Do know God loves us people with disabilities. Lucifer also loves us (yes he does…) because we offer him all the people who mistreat us in this lifetime going to hell to be his tortured slaves for eternity. It’s not the way we want it (as most of us are nice) but it’s the way it is and perhaps the way it has to be to maintain an energy balance.

[@calvincooley1074]

I'm a 32 years a paraplegic and to be truthful I have no time to worry about some of these things. Now if someone approaches me and begins to "help" me I just quit moving and politely tell them that I appreciate the gesture but my system works fine but they are welcome to watch. If they beat me to the door and open it for me I'm kool with that BUT if I can beat THEM to the door to open it for them, especially the ladies, I'm good with it. I define what you are talking about as "innocent ignorance". But they can be helped. Lol some cars parked illegally need to be marked, sometimes, like when that Explorer was blocking the ramp and the lady was trying to get her mother, in a pushchair, to their car which was blocked by said Explorer and somehow the Explorer was keyed in broad daylight.

[@edieevette]

The public bathroom is a big issue for me it happens all the time.

[@kerivandenbosch3375]

Very nice video today and Maria I have experienced this myself where everyone tells me I am in inspiration Peak as I have cerebral palsy so are use my wheelchair and my crutches for many things and we were on a cruise now a number of years ago now There was one person every day who told me I was an inspiration to him he drove me crazy! But thank you for making this video with both of you it was very well done and very informative🙏🤟🏻🙏!

[@Themakeupchair15]

that is the hardest thing about ableism unlike racism it comes from a kind place for the most part

[@laurenrunyon344]

Thank you for including parents of wheelchair users. My little guy uses a wheelchair and has a special car seat so those blue lines in the disabled spots are very important to us. I can’t get him transferred in or out of the car without opening his door all the way.

[@cherylcalifornia125]

I laughed a little Chelsie when you said, while you’re waiting for the disability bathroom stall you’d be putting your brakes on and off so the able body person would hear you and know you were waiting. In all my yrs being a paraplegic that never dawned on me to do that. Maybe next time 😊

[@beeb6730]

Awesome video, I always appreciate hearing about folks having the same issues I do with the random "helpful" ableds who won't take no for an answer.

[@Jaggededge112]

I have noticed this happening to me. The other day I was shopping at Walmart and when I finished my shopping there was a car parked in the yellow zone between handicapped spaces and I couldn't get my wheelchair in to my car, I had to get help. I got praised for putting my wheelchair together. I was at Target and the greeter was like oh miss can I help you? We have motorized carts, ooo ooo I can push you around the shop. And then in the electronic department multiple workers came up and asked if they could help me. Now I am not gonna lie, I will accept help when my arms are too weak to push me, or if I need someone to push a cart if I am buying a lot. I guess it's just humiliating having people think you are incapable of doing stuff on your own. Oh and one time I was parked outside of a restaurant in my car waiting for my friend to come out and this woman yells at me asking if I was disabled because she didn't see a blue placard, I got out dragging myself to my trunk to show her my disabled veteran plate, she certainly felt foolish. I appreciate the help when I need it, I appreciate the offers to help me.When I go to the VA hospital for appointments there isn't any close parking so usually I'm parked way to the other side of the parking lot and that is when I really, really need help because it is very steep and my muscles are very weak.

[@mmagurl83]

GLEE!! I know!!!! Ugg! I felt the same! The washroom thing drives me insane too! Aside from families in them.

[@CloverRose]

I'm a C4-5 incomplete quadriplegic. I have full use of my right arm and hand, mostly fill use of my left arm, partial use of my left hand, partial use of my legs and almost full use of my core. I've had people assume that, because of my disability, I need help to do everything which is not the case. I don't mind it when people ask me if I need help doing something (like reaching something in a shop or opening a door) but I can't stand it when they insist on helping when I've told them I don't need it. I'm not afraid to ask for help if I need it but when people insist on helping when I don't need it, that just makes the task harder and take longer

[@fragjijreiosgeriota7509]

I had compartment syndrome and complex regional pain syndrome (in addition to other health conditions). I have latent paralysis remaining. Torontonians excluded me and never once asked what made me use a walker and cane to get around despite being in my mid-20s. They would refuse to give me barely 15% of the sidewalk, I suppose because their non physically or mentally disabled selves were that much more important than I was. They would not offer me their seats on public transportation despite a rule being listed on every bus, streeetcar and subway car to give up their seats near the front doors for someone with obvious special needs such as myself. And I live in Canada which is assumed to be progressive and even loving!

[@guitarmike1968]

Such a fantastic video. I just found both of you on the Wheelstowalking videos. I’ve experienced much the same behavior from people in public. Keep up the fantastic work on your channel Chelsie.

[@aprilevettem7456]

Hi Chelsea & Maria been binge watching all your videos just caught up with this latest episode... What a great video and topics you dicuss.. I'm also in a a wheelchair not because of spinal cord injury, mine is due to my bones are that brittle they break so easily so have to use a wheelchair... I to have had the same problems as yourself, I had a guy move my chair and me out of the way in a supermarket so he could get to what he wanted even though there was plenty of room.. Look forward to your videos... Stay safe sending much love to you all from uk ☺ ❤😊

[@PaigeHawkins23]

I love that they brought up wheelsnoheels aka Gem’s movement/petition with disabled parking

[@oneworld...7280]

This month is spainal cord injury awareness...I had accident in this month and I now 3 guys they got accident in September...

[@aliciahester593]

I can so relate I have spinal cerebellum attaxia

[@laniepearce8221]

i have cp i don't use labels im involved with actor's community they use them It driving me nuts, I don't use them

[@leaalbo9350]

I hate when I go somewhere like a restaurant or store and the delivery people feel the need to park in the only handicap spot

[@yunhee93]

What about when people say " can I pray for you?"

[@valieann]

Hi Chelsie! Which is the show you are referring to about the person in a chair never being able to move their legs?

[@donutcare6929]

Thanks for the explanation 🤠🤠🤠

[@sundaymabior4809]

Thank you girls for filling this video I was so touched 💕💕💕💕💕

[@inekogary8870]

Question how do you feel about people who are blind with GUIDE DOGS going into the accessible bathrooms? When the other stores say they are too small for me and my guide dog and I don’t want my guide dog to lay out in the middle of the floor under the door how do you feel about people who are blind with GUIDE DOGS going into the accessible?

[@gabriella1587]

Great video chelsie !! Your so pretty :) thanks for the information love it!

[@hussienali6576]

Hello, how are you my beautiful dear? I am following you from Iraq. How much is the price of buying a wheelchair that will not be available in my country?

[@thatonenerd]

Thank you

[@davidbarrett7418]

Damn i thought she was having a fit it was a fly lmao an yes I'm in a powerchair an it's hurtful when people shun away because the think you need them lol i don't

[@davidbarrett7418]

talking about placards i have one an this woman of color called the police an she was telling the officer that my amputation was not a disability he laught an told her were was her placard she was parked in a handicapped parking lot lol

[@arshiyasidiqaa]

Nice video ma'am Thanks for the information!!

[@bluedeva]

The worst is when I’m out shopping and someone moves my wheelchair out of their way without my permission so they can get something of the shelf or get by. Just say excuse me can I get by and I will gladly move. Do not touch my wheelchair at all unless you speak to me first. How would you like it if someone came and picked you up and moved you out of the way, I doubt you would like it. Great post so glad I found you via Gem’s @wheelsnoheels youtube. Over here in the UK we have Radar keys that open most public disabled toilets but sometimes they are left open and other people use them/abuse them. 🤗🤗

[@annegreenwood3624]

it’s hard to find your voice and say no i got this or get frustrated it’s nice people want to help one lady started clapping in the store because i was holding my cane felt so embarrassed i was tired and leaning on the shelf yes assessable spots the worst one guy knocked on my window and said your not disabled 😳ps you both look amazing thanks for sharing your advice really helps me and yes that bathroom issue i need that stall some people just don’t get it i wait and wait kinda like really people i can’t hold it it’s not an option yes it’s not for your storage either another great video you both inspire me

[@natesmommyxoxo416]

What about strangers who come up to you and offer to pray for you? Like no thanks, I don't need a miracle, just a girl having dinner...

[@nezaroobest7139]

great video

[@katlady5000]

8:00 I was using my walker a lady was in front of me. She was an able bodied young person. She walked past the regular stalls to use the assessible stall. She knew I was behind her. So I had to sit on the seat of my walker in an empty bathroom and wait for her to finish. This was the bathroom at my work so I didn't make a scene. I don't cause drama at work. But that was really rude and there is no reason for it. My mobility is worst now so I use a wheelchair when I go out. I had a car also park in the hash marks so they could change their baby's diaper so I could not get into my car until they finished. The best part was they left the diaper in the hash marked area instead of taking it with them to throw away.

[@tammyivey4681]

Im so happy you lovely woman have poited out there topics one thing i cant stand is when your friend lefting you out of the car and you get steered at or you park in disbiĺly Bay and have your sticker up but im the one in the wheelchair and its family car with car seats in it and your best friend and cara getting abused bye someone saying your should be ashamed of yourselve then I come around the corner and I was like are you ok to my friend and this one person was still going i siad carm down not evey disbiĺly visible but mine was so i take my foot plats of say im ready then my friend/career lefts me into the car and the woman was like stop yelling this is why people with wheelchairs or people that are sick but don't show it dont what to go out its so sad and needs two get better well done girls your my inspiration 💝💝💝💝💝💝🎉🎉🎉🎉🧸💖💖⚘⚘💞💞💞💞💞💯💯💯💯

[@luisabundy8545]

🙏🏽

[@brianbutlerandfriends2066]

i agree 10000%

[@uncfrank61]

I wonder if you read these comments please respond. I’ve been disabled all my life spinal bifida and I’m in my late sixties. I’ve had successful careers and was a professional musician. I think I can help with some people with young people being independent and have a great life. Please contact Frank

[@BayouChicGardening]

They were tryna move you out the way faster😬 @ Target

[@angelachambers2604]

NCIS NEW ORLEANS MAN IS REALLY IN A WHEELCHAIR

[@ceciliabaldevenito8845]

Cecilia qqwwuiero 📸📸📲📲👍