A Man's Mindset After Marriage: Part 1 (It's a disease)

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Silent Majority Podcast

Күн бұрын

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@mohammedrahman895 5 ай бұрын

Really good points made for sure, when’s part 2 dropping

@Silentmajority-podcast 4 ай бұрын

Part 2 is out now 🙏

@ZaynabIman Ай бұрын

Okay having watched a few more of the episodes I think I can understand interviewers personality and style a bit more. I thought the discussion around social and council housing dependency was astute - hit the nail right on the head. Think housing crisis amongst British Muslims ( especially in London ) should get its own episode ? Guest seems like a genuine and passionate brother - he was balanced in his approach which is good to see.

@Serendipity884 5 ай бұрын

The brother’s advice is invaluable! Especially the part about - you have to stay dutiful to Allah irrespective of whether you’re married or not, really encapsulated it beautifully. The amount of times I have heard ‘Oh I will lower my gaze and stay away from x,y and z when I get married and have a wife’. If a person does not fear Allah now, how will having a wife/husband instil that, particularly when the novelty wears off. Bad habits are bad habits unless you choose to want to change and as the brothers have said ‘fix yourself’.

@MP-fy6nk 4 ай бұрын

This guest is basically teaching that people need to be mature and think of long term consequences and be emotionally intelligent. It's baffling to me that those are points people feel they need to argue on. This brother is spitting facts.

@FriendForTheSufferer 5 ай бұрын

In regards to in laws, I think men ought to understand why most women struggle to "serve" their in laws. It's all good when you are away from them and only ever have an amicable relationship with them. You never have to discover any bad traits from them, inshaa Allah and you can develop a bond bi idhniLlah. Of course, once you respect someone and begin to appreciate them, naturally you feel inclined to serve. This manifests both ways, i.e you provide service when they need it and they are more than happy to help when you need some help. The issue is primarily living with in laws who have great expectations from their daughter in law. Those of the Bangladeshi know all too well how a classic daughter in law is treated in some families. If her in laws don't provide her with freedom then eventually she will begin to suffocate. For example, they need her to be awake at their set time to come down and make breakfast, to drop everything and cook the meal for the whole family, for the whole family to drop their dishes in the sink and expect their bhabi to wash them all, for her to have all the ironing dumped on her... and so on. She soon becomes depressed because she cannot be herself and that’s why she grows resentment for her in laws. She might be the sweetest soul one may ever know but such suffocation would make her break down. Some women don't know what to do and just let themselves carry on... it's no wonder that so many women of this group end up in their 50s with illnesses such as fibromalgiya etc. If men want to live with their families then they have to be ready to mature up and form boundaries in the house. He should make sure the room has a lock and that no one is allowed into his room. He should also set out duties and make sure nobody exploits the other unfairly. If he can't do that then the easiest solution is to just be separate from day 1.

@rabyaahmed2817 5 ай бұрын

Daughter in law is not a servant!!

@nilumabegum5662 4 ай бұрын

Jazakallah brothers, for addressing this issue.I am really happy to see,a young man from our community giving such valuable advice(aimming towards ihssan), because im not sure bengali men have good role models.Keep up the good work.

@Professional_Youtube_Commenter Ай бұрын

Staying in parents house to save for a deposit isn't bad in itself. As long as there is a plan in place and the goal is achievable and you genuinely want to get your own place. This is what a lot of people in the wider community are having to resort to. Paying £2000 a month rent is a huge burden. If you just stayed 2 years in parents place you could get a deposit together to buy your own place. Usually it's not even the deposit thats the issue, you can get family to lend you it. It's getting to a minimum income bracket where you can meet the lenders affordability checks. You also have to know who you're marrying, I think if you are marrying someone pure arranged, and you haven't clicked with that person before getting married. Then you only start getting to know that person after youve been married then it's a huge risk. It helps for your wife to move into youre family home if she knows you a loves you. Not advocating any unislamic premaritial relationship. But you should really know who you're marrying at a personal level.

@shabanatasleem3532 5 ай бұрын

Agree, on point mash’Allah. It’s all a BIG show - impression management and keeping up with the Jones’…

@madnesstv2713 5 ай бұрын

Very entertaining episode, props to the host and guest👏

@AKAK-hr7ug 5 ай бұрын

11:44 only son household:, perhaps have an en-suite washroom and have a lock in the room - not allow no one else entering it. Agree with the parents.

@abumaalik9272 5 ай бұрын

I agree with the guest, and its amazing how ive heard this same situation in different places that are completely unrelated from different ethnicities, where a woman agrees to live with the inlaws then later changes her mind, its almost a guarantee.

@fatemas1926 5 ай бұрын

Great topic and insightful

@chrbx13 5 ай бұрын

Interesting episode, learnt a lot as usual but loool at 28:42 where the guest said he's not promoting cheapness 🤣🤣 tbf I don't see anything wrong with renting a car out if thats whats important to you. I mean you'll wear your wedding attire once too..and besides you'll have wedding pictures capturing the memories.. Women may be happy to live with their in laws at the start but would understandably want their own space when starting their own family. They presume the guy has the common sense to know that already so it doesn't mean they were lying at the outset prior to marriage...and with sex, basically the guest is saying if you're a sex addict before marriage that isn't going to magically change after marriage🤣🤣 Only you can change yourself, no one else can fix it for you. And obviously the sex won't be as exciting as the years go on...imagine eating the same thing on tap, you're just not going to look forward to it the same as you did at the start. It's human nature so this applies for both men and women. But that doesn't necessarily mean you'd have lustful desires towards other people because if you truly love the person you've married those thoughts wouldn't even cross your mind..so I think to say its a problem all men have is a discredit to men. Like the guest said back home in Bangladesh the men didn't go around the village 🤣🤣 so I don't understand why it should be any different now! Sex is only a part of the relationship, so it's quite sad to hear that for some (immature) men it's the only reason that motivated to marry someone 🥴 Feel sorry for their wives too, imagine thats the type of guy you end up marrying lol.

@abumaalik9272 5 ай бұрын

Theres a big difference between savings and having enough income to afford to take care of an entire household by yourself.

@rafiakhanum9422 5 ай бұрын

If we know the art of saving we can take care of the whole household by ourselves. I experienced it , but when you try to encourage/ help someone they don't want to do it. People just want a short cut or like to copy other 90% people do . Lots of people don't have common sense

@rezbid 4 ай бұрын

Excellent points

@Sk9999-jr1gx 5 ай бұрын

A lot of this is for people who are sick in their hearts to a degree. Not all men want more. Not all women want more. There are many exceptions. Read about the Sahaba that used to give Dawah at the brothel and what he used to say to the so called beautiful woman that would entice him. He was so saddened by the state of the women and their Deen and completely unaffected by any desire.

@SHABEJ999 4 ай бұрын

Broski Lais speaking with full confidence 👌

@WaqarHussain-te7ft 5 ай бұрын

I think it’s important for a man and women to understand the rights and duties of a wife and husband from an islamic pretext. Forget the masculinity andrew tate promotes or this new religion from the divil which is feminism and all about trying to prove women are better than men. Simply understand what religions duties a man and women have towards each other and try and fulfill those and wallahi you won’t have marital issue’s. Insha’Allah

@Zazezoo 5 ай бұрын

Andrew Tate only became famous recently, so he’s clearly not influenced any grown Muslim men. 🥴 Let’s take accountability and quit blaming AT for the issues in our Muslim society.

@pamk380 5 ай бұрын

It’s mum house because mum makes it a home!

@Silentmajority-podcast 5 ай бұрын

You’re right! Thanks :) Host

@shabanatasleem3532 5 ай бұрын

Just make sure they don’t break the marriage (especially, when there’s kids in the pic)! There’s some psychopathic gay groomers that mess up Muslim boys, via remote tuning!

@susanneal6063 Ай бұрын

Non Muslim dont spend that much Money on Weddings cause they want to travel the World with their Spouses and not go back to mommy and daddy as soon the Party is over! I rather have a small decend Wedding and have enough Money after for a nice Place and do fun activitys with my Spouse. Also nobody needs immidietly a Villa when there is no Kids. Step by step you get your stuff and work hard.

@syeedkalam4640 5 ай бұрын

Didnt really learn anything new or insightful from this episode but its a nice little reminder to the unmarried about the realities of marriage. Wouldve been good if the guest told some real life anecdotal stories instead of being generic.

@asmapatel2296 4 ай бұрын

These guys make me want to avoid marriage like the plague.

@jayr3938 4 ай бұрын

Excellent video but to be honest people make too many excuses for women with cliches such as womens roles have changed, its not the old days, do not compare women now with your parents generation, its 2024 etc but womens innate nature is to be caring, soft and loving, basically feminine. A major problem is too many of women have become masculine in manners and sometimes also in appearance as they are not taking care of themselves at all. Health side same can be said for many men now who are overweight and their diets are a disgrace. I am not saying women shouldnt work or have hobbies or just stay at home cooking but there is no accountability or logic when it comes to women unfortunately. Men have immense pressure to provide and protect and rightly so but there are no exucses made for men but plenty for women. End of the day in my experience marriage is all about compromise, there will be major problems but be patient as possible. Stay safe Brothers and Sisters. Alhamdulillah for everything.

@Sarah-to7oj 4 ай бұрын

Take care of my mama and father . So she will be the maid 🤔🤔🤔

@Professional_Youtube_Commenter Ай бұрын

bro... who is having romantic dinner with petals on the floor???

@SaifulIslam-jr2tg 4 ай бұрын

Unqualified guests giving unqualified advice and stating it’s Islamic. Firstly the brother is divorced and not married so how does this guest qualify. The host is correct that when you’re married it does became the wife’s duty to look after the husband’s parents. The brothers been compromised by feminism.

@naviifra2374 4 ай бұрын

Huh? Which part is feminism? 😂😂

@MP-fy6nk 4 ай бұрын

@@naviifra2374 it absolutely is not Islamic. Everyone's duty is to their own parents Islamically. Culture expects daughter in laws to prioritise her husbands parents over her own. Check yourself and whether your understanding is cultural or Islamic.

@SaifulIslam-jr2tg 4 ай бұрын

Unqualified guests giving unqualified advice and stating it’s Islamic. The host is correct that when you’re married it does became the wife’s duty to look after the husband’s parents. The brothers been compromised by feminism.